#Musing and meta

[outofangband]

Elven word of the day, 190/?

Eglan from Sindarin

Meaning “forsaken”

Source: The War of the Jewels

Derived from the primitive elvish world heklanā meaning the same

[melestasflight]

While writing Fire for @zealouswerewolfcollector I ended up thinking a lot about the parallels Tolkien creates between Fëanor and Fingon.

Most remarkably, how similarly he describes the moment of their final battle and death:

There upon the confines of Dor Daedeloth, the land of Morgoth, Fëanor was surrounded, with few friends about him. Long he fought on, and undismayed, though he was wrapped in fire and wounded with many wounds; but at the last he was smitten to the ground by Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs, […]

And then:

At last Fingon stood alone with his guard dead about him; and he fought with Gothmog, until another Balrog came behind and cast a thong of fire about him. Then Gothmog hewed him with his black axe, and a white flame sprang up from the helm of Fingon as it was cloven.

Fëanor and Fingon both lead their people to a battle against Morgoth with a tragic end. They are both left fighting on the battlefield alone, surrounded by fire, and perish at the hand of the exact same Balrog.

It is a seemingly strange parallel to make because these two characters often appear as complete opposites in the narrative. Fëanor divides his people by burning the ships at Losgar - while Fingon unites the Noldor by saving Maedhros. Where Fëanor begins a rebellion for his own cause of regaining the Silmarils - Fingon seeks ‘not his own, neither power nor glory.’

And yet, despite their differences, Fëanor and Fingon are the quintessential Noldos of the first age. Fingon becomes everything that Fëanor prophesizes for the Noldor in Beleriand:

We are threatened with many evils, and treason not least; but one thing is not said: that we shall suffer from cowardice, from cravens or the fear of cravens. Therefore I say that we will go on, and this doom I add: the deeds that we shall do shall be the matter of song until the last days of Arda.

Fingon's lament in The Lay of Leithian echoes Fëanor‘s prophecy (the lines were adapted later to be Gil-Galad’s own hymn):

The song of Fingon Elves yet sing, captain of armies, Gnomish king, who fell at last in flame of swords with his white banners and his lords.

Fingon indeed becomes the epiphany of the exiles: the combination of his remarkable heroism, valor, and the final doom that awaits him. Essentially, the fundamentals of The Silmarillion itself.

It is no wonder then that during the rebellion of the Noldor, Fingon the Valiant is moved by Fëanor’s words: ‘Yet I am not the only valiant in this valiant people’ (my emphasis).

They share an ambition, a capacity for leadership, and a skill of voice and strength, not to mention their connection to Maedhros, and the element of fire.

Letting Fëanor and Fingon die almost the exact same way signals the beginning and the end of an era for the Noldor in Beleriand: the death of their first King and, for all intents and purposes, the last.

Fëanor leads the Noldor to Beleriand, and with Fingon, they cease to exist as united people. Turgon becomes King, but who does he rule beyond Gondolin? The remainder is scattered and isolated after the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, the Wars of Beleriand are effectively ended until the Valar take action, and the Doom of Mandos is completed.

For the sons of Fëanor, more than anyone, the Nirnaeth and the fall of Fingon signify a return to the very beginning. A cycle that starts all over again: with the death of their King in flames, their homes destroyed, their hands stained, and being left with nothing but an unfulfilled Oath to regain the one remaining piece of Treelight.

The fight for victory in Beleriand begins with Fëanor and ends with Fingon. It will have to continue in a new book with a new story that goes beyond the fate of Fëanor‘s Silmarils.

The War of Wrath shifts the narrative to a new continent, with a new generation of Elves and their High King - who will die in flames, much like Fëanor and Fingon, fighting before the very gates of Mordor.

But that certainly merits another post.

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

[stompandhollar]

Honestly the most revolutionary thing about Gravity Falls to me is its commitment to sincerity.

I’ve been listening to Alex’s podcast where he goes into the details of each episode with different storyboard artists and writers who worked on the show, and it just baffles me how… cared for the story is. Right now in media there’s been an uptick in satire, and shows making fun of themselves for existing, or taking the piss at their own content to “win” fans to their side. It’s like whimsy is gone from so many pieces of media. But Gravity Falls just doesn’t… do that. It completely embraces itself. Weirdness and all. And so does the team behind it. I’m not used to something I care about being so cared about by everyone surrounding it.

Here’s this cartoon, written and illustrated by an entire team of people saying, “no, we’re serious. we mean this. we made this on purpose and we made it important.”

Throughout the podcast, Alex discusses little ins and outs of each character, offering so much deep internal struggles and enriching the story even farther. And listening to him unpack it with the utmost sincerity just warms my heart. Each character is so dynamic because they were cared for by people who imbued them with sincerity.

That’s exactly why we get quotes like “Shame is powerful, but it grows in the dark,” as Ford realizes the trauma he’s hidden for so long is being embraced by his family, diminishing it’s weight on him through their immediate support.

It’s why we get Alex describing Stanley with quotes like; “I always in my gut thought of him as somebody with a huge well of sadness, a loss of human connection. And that need to please? That need to get laughs from the crowd, and putting on a big show? He’s trying to get from them the affection he never got from his family, and that he lost with his brother.”

Or detailing how Mabel might be a goof… but half the time she’s doing a bit, because she’s really more mature than her brother and doesn’t want him to grow up too fast. She’s trying to help ground him and bring lightheartedness into his life. Because she knows otherwise, he’ll become too self isolated.

And those two mini character studies he dropped so casually in these podcast episodes just… color the show. It’s why the show survived so well even after ten years. It’s gruff-old Stan always calling his niece “Pumpkin” and “Honey”. It’s the family always holding hands without it behind laced with a joke, and falling asleep on one another in the car. It’s Alex explaining that people toyed with other endings, other plot lines, other twists, but it was always going to end with Stan and Ford mending the family tie they severed thirty years ago. Because that was their story. Messes and family and care.

Ten years ago, watching it for the first time as it came out, I felt all that. But now, as an adult, knowing that all the other adults who made it felt the exact same way? :,) What a special story we all got to grow up with, and get to continue being apart of.

[contactlessdrivethru]

there is something unique and deeply special about monkey d luffy as a protagonist. he’s overwhelmingly ADORED by the fandom. he’s consistently the most or at least top 3 most popular characters in the whole series. peoples takes about him are gushingly positive. and that’s… really uncommon.

a LOT of fandoms i’ve witnessed or been in have a tendency to favor characters other than the main character. especially in anime. the main characters are often written as a blank slate for readers/watchers to project onto, but that makes them not as interesting and so they don’t get the fan attention.

but luffy is so far from that. and he’s ALWAYS been this way. we love him so much. he’s the heart of the story and the heart of the fandom in every single way. and i think that speaks to how well-written he is as a character. he’s fun and charming and complex and interesting and he makes us laugh and cry and cheer and hope and love. he’s able to inspire so much joy in people, both in his world but also in this one. and i think that’s really special. i feel so grateful to have found this story that means so much to me, and i’m so grateful that luffy exists.

[tinystepsforward]

What do you think the chances are that Mud Pit is gonna be ousted by the people who need Automattic to have good will in the eyes of the community to actually get anything out of this site and wattpad

I know it’s probably low but the fact that he’s acting like a poorer Elon Musk is making my skin crawl and making me hope that a second lawsuit hits the company

ok here's the thing. he is meant to be on sabbatical. automattic gives employees a three-month paid sabbatical every 5 years, so that they can have a break from the product they work on and come back rested and with a new perspective.

matt has never taken one before now. he spent the entire leadup to his sabbatical posting increasingly wild shit in public channels at the company (like the chess thing, or trying to get people to buy a friend's product, or the entire fracas with taking over the wordpress.org twitter account. wordpress.org is an independent non-profit that he is not the ceo of).

i mention this because people were hoping (including me) that he really would actually log off, have a chill time (or, idk, whatever kind of time CEOs who go off the grid bc they got flooded in at burning man like to have), and let the interim CEO get a chance to do a better job. that would help the board make a decision based on data.

he was very clearly spiraling before he even left, and then within the first few days of Company Sanctioned Log Off Time he's pulled multiple Classic Matt things on multiple parts of the company before showing up here. this whole thing is so deeply unfunny but it also is a bit of a tom and jerry or looney tunes bit, where i can only imagine HR or Legal is chasing him around the various accounts/platforms with a comically large inflatable baseball bat and he's just evading them.

he can't do that in person, but he still gets a lot of leeway generally. at the last division meetup (irl meeting for employees, flown from all over the world) he showed up twitchy and exhausted and hyped in a way that was very familiar to me from flatmates who used to steal and snort my adhd medication, then proceeded to drink so much over the course of an evening answering questions from his employees that he had to be firmly babysat off the stage and walked back into the lobby of the hotel to sober up.

i made eye contact with him that night, before he dropped his head back into his hands. two people relatively high up in the company were sitting with him, silently watching him as he struggled to sober up. it wasn't the first drunk shenanigan of his i witnessed at one of these, and this is purely opinion but i have to assume that his current behavior is the result of suddenly having time on his hands to have the world's longest bender and post through it.

back to your question: i do not know if what he's done is enough to get the board to remove him. i wish it didn't have to come to this to hope that they will. but we'll find out.

[cahootings]

Man shoutout to Stede fucking Bonnet I am so proud of him. Going from having to ask his wife what being in love feels like, to writing the most earnest and saccharine love letters in bottles. Every day. “I long for you.” “Intertwined.” “We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.” Kissing them before throwing them into the sea. Every day. He became the world’s biggest romantic dreamboat and he is exactly what Ed “I’m afraid I’m unlovable” Teach deserves. The classic Stede move of “I don’t know how to do this, but once I learn how to do it my own way, I’m going to completely reinvent what it means and it’s going to change lives for the better”

[thisisnotthenerd]

The Last Stand Exam

This file documents the questions administered to the adventuring party known as the Bad Kids during their Last Standard Exam, in their junior year at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. This assessment was produced from a variety of class materials relevant to the curriculum of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, as submitted to the principal Arthur Aguefort prior to the start of the school year. This list is accompanied by documentation of the creatures the party known as the Bad Kids was required to face as part of the exam.

The exam is graded out of 100 points; the scoring involves the students correctly answering the questions in the appropriate time interval as well as their heroic last stands. The students are expected to simultaneously fight off a horde of creatures and participate in the examination equally; each student in this party must answer two of the twelve questions.

Neither exam aids, nor outside interference are permitted during the examination period--this excludes clerical divine intervention, as appropriately performed by a member of the party in question. By standard, the proctor must be protected--death of the proctor results in a 30 point score reduction regardless of circumstance.

By Solisian School District Standards, this party reports excellent grades and a high level of competency with regard to independent adventuring.* They were allotted a grace period prior to exam initiation for preparatory spellcasting and review of the exam parameters. Based on prior academic achievement**, the students were allowed two chances to defer a question or utilize previous materials in their response. Questions where these materials were used will be marked with a **.

Exam Proctor: Gavin Pundle

Assisting Cleric: Buddy Dawn

Party Members:

Adaine Abernant | Wizard

Kristen Applebees | Cleric

Figueroth Faeth | Bard / Paladin / Warlock / "Barbarian"

Riz Gukgak | Rogue

Fabian Aramais Seacaster | Fighter / Bard

Gorgug Thistlespring | Barbarian / Artificer

---------------- AAA ----------------

Exam Questions

These will be listed with the appropriate subject as well as the allotted time, and prospective solutions. This is ordered with respect to how the students answered the questions, with the primary respondent indicated.

Investigation: (2 min)

Question: BONY GIRTH

Solution: NIGHT YORB

Primary Respondent: Riz Gukgak

Athletics: (1 min)

Question: What rival Bloodrush team do our beloved Owlbears most often compete against?

A) Buccaneers

B) Hellions

C) Grapplers

D) Scoundrels

Solution: B) Hudol Hellions

Primary Respondent: Fabian Aramais Seacaster

Religion: (1 min)

Question: Which rad Dwarven deity holds dominion over the art of Shredding?

A) Orrie

B) Ollie

C) Ormry

D) Oggie

Solution: B) Ollie

Primary Respondent: Kristen Applebees

Performance: (3 min)

Question: Please compose a limerick, sonnet, or haiku expressing your feelings and emotions relating to the exam you are currently taking.

Solution:

There was an exam that was hard

But luckily, I am a bard

The demons are slayed

'Cause of how we played

They're hoisted by their own petard

Primary Respondent: Figueroth Faeth

Elven: (1 min)

Question: Please translate the following phrase into Common:

"Pedo Mellon a Minno"

Extra Credit: The word "Mellon" is the root word for which extremely weak form of magic?

Solution: "Speak friends and enter"

Extra Credit Solution: Friendship

Primary Respondent: Adaine Abernant

History: (2 min)

Question: 225 immaculate conceptions occurred on the same day in Solace in reaction to the first public performance of which instrument?

A) The octocord

B) The electric lute

C) The astral piano

D) The hurdy-gurdy

Extra Credit: Nine months later, the newborns were discovered to have been wearing vests in utero. What material were the vests made out of?

Solution: B) The electric lute

Extra Credit Solution: Denim

Primary Respondent: Riz Gukgak

Common: (5 min)

Question: Please write a 300 word essay arguing for a proposed improvement at the aguefort Adventuring Academy in the space provided below.

Solution: We believe a greater amount of our grade should come from the actual good we do in the world. Given the number of times our adventuring party have been put in a situation where the actual fate of our very existence has hung in the balance, it seems only fitting that the result of our efforts impact our academic study. Considering the ultimate goal is to become adventurers, it makes the most sense that actual application of our skills would be most important. If actual adventuring doesn't show our skills, what will? No matter how many class I take, it won't make me a better bard or fighter. I, Fabian Seacaster, son of the great Bill Seacaster, privateer, not pirate... (108)**

Primary Respondent: Fabian Aramais Seacaster

Driver's Ed: (1 min)

Question: What is the proper way to reverse a vehicle's orientation 180 degrees while driving at top speed?

A) Signal the turn correctly

B) Slowly decrease acceleration

C) Engage the emergency brake

D) Rebuild the car facing the other way while driving

Solution: C) Engage the emergency brake

Primary Respondent: Figueroth Faeth

Medicine: (1 min)

Question: What is the most certain way for a wounded adventurer to make a full recovery from even the most grievous injuries?

A) Be healed by a powerful cleric

B) Drink an artifact-level healing potion

C) Receive a greater restoration from a celestial

D) Lie down for eight hours

Solution: D) Lie down for eight hours

Primary Respondent: Kristen Applebees

Arcana: (1 min)

Question: What is the most powerful form of magic?

Extra Credit: What is the easiest object in which to magically trap an opponent?

Solution: Chronomancy

Extra Credit Solution: A Gem

Primary Respondent: Adaine Abernant

Mathematics: (2 min)

Question: Two trains are driving toward one another on the same track. The first train leaves Elmville at 5:05 AM traveling at 60 miles per hour. The second train leaves Bastion City, 135 miles away, at 5:30 AM traveling at 70 miles per hour. What is the exact time that the collision will occur?

Solution: 6:20:46 AM**

Primary Respondent: Gorgug Thistlespring

Biology: (45 sec)

Question: Of the following creatures, which cannot turn its prey into stone?

A) Basilisk

B) Cockatrice

C) Gorgon

D) Manticore

Solution: D) Manticore

Primary Respondent: Gorgug Thistlespring

Written Portion of Exam: Passed (100% + 2 points extra credit)

---------------- AAA ----------------

Last Stand Monsters

This table documents the monsters faced by the party within the duration of the Last Standard Examination. Note the indicated modifiers for the quantity of enemy combatants and the exam questions.

Format: Monster - Killing Blow

Otyugh - Fireball from Figueroth Faeth

Ochre Jellies - Fireball from Figueroth Faeth, Word of Radiance from Kristen Applebees

Gorgon - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Hydra - Attack with Fandrangor from Fabian Aramais Seacaster + Fire Breath from Hangman

Skeletons - Turn Undead from Kristen Applebees

Mimic - Green Flame Blade from Figueroth Faeth

Manticore - Banishment from Kristen Applebees

Shrimp Dragon - Hellish Rebuke from Figueroth Faeth

Roper - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Stirges - Spirit Guardians from Figueroth Faeth

Umber Hulk - Sneak attack with arquebus from Riz Gukgak

Wyvern - Spirit Guardians & Booming Blade from Figueroth Faeth

Crab Man - Attack with Fandrangor from Fabian Aramais Seacaster + Bite Attack from Hangman

Rust Monsters - Spirit Guardians from Figueroth Faeth, Erupting Earth from Adaine Abernant, Fire Breath from Hangman

Pentacorn - Green Flame Blade + Divine Smite from Figueroth Faeth

Purple Worm - Soloed by Gorgug Thistlespring

---------------- AAA ----------------

Proctor Notes:

Party bard Figueroth Faeth used Disguise Self to assume form of proctor

Proctor attacked by Gorgon, not killed

Significant critical hits throughout combat from Gorgug Thistlespring.

Attendant Cleric Buddy Dawn was killed during the exam by unknown assailants; clarification on this event obtained post-exam and reported to the superintendent.

This party is on record as the first party to complete the Last Standard exam without perishing, thereby understanding Arthur Aguefort's intent for the assessment.

---------------- AAA ----------------

*Reference files for evaluating adventuring party competency: AAA-BKQ-01-KVX, AAA-BKQ-02-CNK, AAA-BKQ-03-CNY

**This was awarded to Gorgug Thistlespring, for exemplary work as a triple-year artificer student, in addition to the junior year barbarian curriculum

[thesummerestsolstice]

Elvish art genre that definitely exists in Middle-Earth: the captivity of Elrond and Elros (mostly just Elrond, especially after Elros dies)

The paintings– done mostly, but not always, by Sindarin and anti-Feanorian Noldor artists– are usually studies in contrast– Elrond as the bright, innocent child dressed in white; often portrayed as a small, frightened elfling, frozen at the moment he was taken from Sirion. Sometimes he is shown bravely resisting the cruelty of the Feanorians, other times he mourns for Sirion, or bows and prays to the gods for deliverance. Sometimes, he's given wings, both to stress his connection with Luthien and Elwing and to make him look more angelic and pure in comparison to the fallen Feanorians.

Maedhros and Maglor are the dark monsters the oath made them, with teeth, and claws, and harsh armor. Some of the more daring artists just portray Maedhros as an actual orc. While few of the paintings actually show the Feanorians' crimes, they're often portrayed with blood on their hands or swords, or simply surrounded by fire and destruction. They often demand, or threaten in the pictures, towering over Elrond and casting long shadows on him.

There's a few different sub-genres of these paintings. The ones that explicitly compare Elrond's situation to Luthien's kidnapping by Celegorm. The ones that feature a grateful Elrond being saved from the horrible Feanorians by whoever the artist is looking to valorize– Gil-Galad, Galadriel, Oropher, Eonwe, etc. The ones that show Elrond, locked in a dark cell, staring longingly out at Gil-Estel rising in the night sky. Some of the strangest are the ones that draw connections between the Silmarils being kept in Morgoth's crown and the twins– often with Maedhros playing the role of Morgoth.

Elrond hates almost all of these paintings. He feels like they take away his ability to define his past the way he wants to– to tell his own story. Most of them are grossly inaccurate, but most people don't know that, and dredging up all those really painful memories to try and correct people's assumption is hard. Sometimes, even when he does, people won't listen. Some of the paintings also seem... weirdly gleeful about the idea that Elrond suffered because of the Feanorians? Like they're trying to martyr him even though he's alive, and doesn't want to be martyred. It all makes him really, really uncomfortable.

There is one exception. It's not a very traditional example of captivity paintings. Elrond is at the center of the frame, shown not as a small child but as a young adult. Maglor and Maedhros are mostly unseen in the background, each with a bloody hand on one of Elrond's shoulders. Unlike the other paintings, instead of looking off into the distance or staring demurely at the ground, Elrond is looking straight out at the viewer His expression is hard to place. Anger? Acceptance? Defiance? Pity? Accusation? It's a very odd picture that unsettles almost everyone that look at it.

Elrond insists on hanging it in Rivendell.

[jacketpotatoo]

Cant wait for Alecto where Harrow fixes Gideon’s Chunt in a scene that parallels the bone-arm reconstruction scene with Ianthe, except it will be so achingly emotional. With Ianthe Harrow is satisfied because she reclaims part of her agency in proving that she’s still a master of her art. With Gideon, Gideon is the one that will be given agency and by Harrow. It will be a deconstruction of their relationship prior - Gideon who only ever wanted to give and Harrow who could only take. Gideon as martyr. It will be symbolic and it will be painful because Harrow doesn’t only know the bone, Harrow knows Gideon. It will be like the first time they fought alongside each other, except quieter, closer. They’ve both lost something of themselves and this is an action, a symbol of recovery and of connection. Of potential rebirth.

[physical-manifestation-of-spite]

We all love Arthur playing the piano. But I think a lot of people forget why Arthur stopped playing in the first place and why it's so important that he won't easily return to it with the same fondness.

Music was Arthur's passion. It was what he invested in to get past his parents' death, and it was a healthy coping mechanism that blossomed into a well-earned career. He loved it. And his daughter died because of it. He was so absorbed in his passion (and himself) that he forgot about his own daughter and she drowned to death. It's a horrifying, distressing way for a toddler to go. And it was absolutely Arthur's fault.

So his love of music and piano specifically has been tainted by the grief and guilt of his daughter's death. When John asks if Arthur misses playing the piano, he says, "No," without hesitation.

How odd that something you've divulged your career into is not something you miss. But then when you learn how Faroe died and how Arthur ignored her--or "dismissed" her, according to him--it all makes sense. So when I read these snippets/fanfic stories where Arthur plays the piano eagerly, it gives me pause because I know something is missing.

The piano is tied to his daughter's death. That will never go away. In the same way that the music he has written will never leave him, even when he loses all memory, including his own name. The piano is tied to his grief of Faroe. It is tied to his grief of his parents. And his grief is so interwoven with Arthur that he can never escape it. He can only continue on with it as a constant tune in the back of his head, something we hear nearly every episode of Malevolent. Arthur isn't fond of the piano anymore. But the tune he wrote for his daughter, who died because of it, plays in his head every day.

[outofangband]

Another post to file under “know I’ve written extensively about this sort of thing so I’ll try to keep this short but”

I enjoy these two passages;

and the orcs fled from his face for since his torment upon Thangorodrim his spirit burned like a white fire within and he was as one who returns from the dead

(Regarding young Túrin with his sword) “Then many wondered saying “can the spirit of any man return from death or has Húrin of Hithlum escaped indeed from the pits of Hell”

The shadow of Angband and what befalls those who are taken there lies so heavily upon Beleriand that to leave those halls is to defy death itself.

Except that’s not entirely true;

we know from later in The Children of Húrin that there are those who escaped the mines of Angband and we know that Morgoth released elves who had been subtly or overtly brainwashed. We can presume that many if not most of the aforementioned escapees did not rejoin their communities, perhaps living as outcasts, or even shunned or avoided. (The situation and condition of former prisoners in Beleriand is one of my favorite topics!! I have more posts about this in my tag but ever the Noldor feared!!)

So it’s not the mere feat of leaving Angband; it’s leaving Angband soul in tact, with the fiery will to live.

That’s what is mythologized and lauded.

[mccoyquialisms]

my fantasy high red-string-conspiracy-theory-board-of-the-main-mystery lore tracker (a long ass post) (because I love both mysteries AND organization of inconsequential information):

rough chronology of events:

In ages past there is a wedding attended in the Chaos Mountains by Sol and Galicaea of their sister the Witch Goddess to an unnamed giantkin god. This god is a summer god, sibling of the giant winter goddess Ruvina

Over centuries, the unnamed god's domain changes from the sun and summer to fire

This unnamed god is killed and their name was wiped from history. The other gods remember who this being is, but due to obliviati mori, cannot reference them directly to mortals. Red shatter stars appear around this time

850 years before present day, the Witch Goddess's name is erased by her followers (encouraged by followers of Galicaea) and she is transformed into the Nightmare King. Before she does she performs the 4 trans-substantiations to resist being "unmade". Her familiar Kalina becomes a plague and begins to spread through the mortal populace. These events likely happen after the death of her spouse, as there is no reference to a spouse when the Witch Goddess was previously mentioned

Roughly 4-6 years before modern day, the pit fiend Bakur attempts to resurrect his god, whose name was lost "so they could not be worshiped." The return of this god is felt to be a significant threat to the world. Lydia Barkrock and her adventuring party stop him by sealing Bakur in a red gem in Lydia's chest, where she keeps him imprisoned with her rage

The Ratgrinders, then called the High 5 Heroes, meet in freshman year and consist of Kipperlilly, Oisin, Mary Anne, Ruben, Ivy and Lucy.

They xp level up by killing rats, twig gremlins and other small magical creatures in the woods behind Aguefort

The events of freshman year happen and Kalvaxus is released. During prom, Ragh spots Jace Stardiamond talking to Arianwen. He is later "barbarian healed" by Porter and after this can see Kalina. Kalina finds Ragh later and threatens Lydia if he talks about what he's seen

Sophomore year spring break happens and the Nightmare King is transformed into the goddess now named Cassandra

At some point Lucy began to return to the woods after party sessions to revive the rats they killed. She did this long enough and with enough regularity that the rats remember her name/face well and think of her fondly

Paperwork is submitted for Lucy to change her god from Ruvina to a god whose name cannot be read, just before her disappearance. A few days later a second request is submitted to withdraw this change. Neither form was ever seen by Lucy's teacher Yolanda Badgood

Lucy was killed near Lake Shimmerstone by multiple assailants with both weapon and magical damage towards the end of sophomore year, in the period of weeks after grades were complete, but before summer break. The area has multiple uprooted trees, some of which were used to hide her body. Unholy rites were performed over her body to force her soul to the beyond, so she cannot be revived.

Lucy is reported as dead but her body was never found. She was described as "not alive in this material plane" via divination

Because of the timing of her death, her party was not moved to pass/fail as all grades for that year had already been submitted

Night Yorb and the long dark summer happens

Buddy Dawn, a cleric of Sol, is specifically requested by the Ratgrinders to be their new cleric for junior year

Also over the long dark summer, the Loam farmers are accused of embezzlement and the Frostyfair festival is moved from there to the Thistlesprings tree at the recommendation of Lola Embers. Sklonda Gukgak is assigned as the Loam couple's public defender

Kipperlilly finds or is found by the rogue teacher and has passed the whole of junior year

Junior year begins. On her first day, Kipperlilly questions Jawbone on where YES! was created

Kipperlily announces she is running for student body president and her primary platform is for uniform equity under the rules without "favoritism"

In the mall of the Synod, the event that kicks off the battle is Cassandra becomes angry hearing Kristen isn't coming to help find followers. She says "This isn't fair!" as a razor-sharp flickering star of red light emerges from her chest. 24-point, red shatter stars infect nearby wizards and turns them into rage-filled, violent, giant versions of themselves. The people taken over by the shatter stars are instructed by an unknown voice to attack Cassandra

Cassandra is able to be calmed by a high persuasion and when she does, she expels multiple shatter stars. She seems to recognize them and says "I thought you were dead.”

Before Kalina is taken over by the shatter stars, she looks to Riz and says "Ragh Barkrock". She then slits Cassandra's throat, triggering a new round of rage in Cassandra

Cassandra suffers multiple attacks and begins to transform into a giant, red raging version of herself and attempts to kill the party. Before she's successful, the gang are swept away in a time loop back to Spyre. The Bad Kids see the Synod is destroyed, and Kristen finds she has shards of Cassandra in her pocket

Kristen attempts to commune with Cassandra and hears a voice say "She is at my side once more." The voice then mocks Kristen with YES!'s body and then tells Kristen it is coming for her, and it will break her irrevocably.

Ivy sees Fig disguised as Lucy at the party at Seacastor Manor, and has an inscrutable reaction to it, but did not seem surprised

The cloud rider engine in Fabian's basement is broken and a piece is found missing

Kipperlily does the food truck event with the subliminal OK messaging on the packaging

Ruben Hopclap performs at FrostFaire when he is attacked by Principal Grix. Grix is eventually killed by Fabian. The Bad Kids determine Ruben was doing some kind of ritual with a song about anger above an arcano-tech array in a 24 point star pattern, successfully releasing a large amount of some type of magical energy.

Simultaneously, Yolanda Badgood is killed at Lake Shimmerstone by immense concussive force damage, and afterwards her body is expertly hidden. She is subjected to the same unholy last rites that Lucy was.

The Bad Kids find Lucy and Yolanda's bodies, and Kristen releases their souls, who travel to the beyond on a "trail of moonlight"

Sklonda's clients are found murdered

Mazey reveals that the Vice Principal (i.e. Jace) does not become the Principal, and it would be the student body president who becomes the new principal of Aguefort

additional info we can reasonably infer or that don't fit neatly in the timeline:

Buddy's grandparents, and likely Buddy himself, have a vested interest in his grandfather becoming the cleric teacher. He went to Aguefort and is familiar with the school. Presumably he wants this to be able to preach about Sol and spread his influence

At some point before her death, Yolanda told Jace about her concerns regarding Lucy's deity-transfer paperwork

Cassandra is not dead, but is "beyond reach"

Lucy and Yolanda were noted to be in "realms beyond", which Brennan specifically noted they were taken from and "whatever was happening there"

The Ratgrinders are gunning for the bad kids and seem to be orchestrating situations to try to get them to take drugs

Porter's philosophical discussion with Fig regarding the concept of protection and how that is often inextricably tied with rage, that one can act as a fuel for the other

Porter is a paladin of the ancestors, and at some point was mentioned to be a goliath, though this seems to be debated in canon. If true, it's possible he's a descendant of giants

Kristen bring's up Sol's wrath and Buddy does not refute this, agreeing Sol's wrath is a well known aspect of him and he has been quite angry because of the dark summer/night yorb situation

As above so below. What the gods do affect their mortal followers, but conversely, what the mortals who follow them do also affect the gods

A god can only come back from death in a place a god had been born or created, meaning Bakur's decision to try to revive his fallen god in the Red Waste was what doomed it to failure

Bakur's documents are written in the language of giants, and his deity is said to be from the same region as Ruvina. Combining this with Adaine’s research, and the “mitochondrial magic print”, Bakur’s god is Cassandra’s former spouse

The cloud rider piece was likely stolen by the Ratgrinders as Kipperlily asked Aelwyn to research schematics of the device

Kipperlily seems to be keeping information from some of the other Ratgrinders, telling Aelwyn she needs to "protect Oisin" from their shady deals

Kipperlily's mother works for the city treasury and her father is in real estate. Neither are super wealthy, but Kipperlilly has been paying Aelwyn large amounts of money to obtain arcane components. Given the timing of this with the disappearance of a large sum of money from the Frostyfair accounts, the timing of the murder of the people who were blamed for it, and that the new chosen location happens to be the home of one of the Ratgrinders rivals, the Ratgrinders involvement is thought to be likely

Cassandra's whispered clue of "spies, tongue, curse"

Places outside Spyre, like the Synod, are easier for dead gods to reach

For whatever the Ratgrinders have planned, a student being the principal of Aguefort is essential for it. A lot of people have had to be conveniently absent or dead for this circumstance to occur.

This is all not even touching Aguefort's whole journey through time and possible time quangle issue and whatever the fuck Fig's Bad Luck Thing is. I'm not convinced that these are related to the god stuff and are likely their own separate issues. also, I am tired lmao. If you want to hear my rambling theories, I'll be making a separate post.

[tofixtheshadows]

You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.

The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.

For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.

I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.

Like, this

is funny.

But this?

Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.

The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.

I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:

Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.

And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.

[4-the-tainted-sorrow-21]

ALSO something I put on the yj server but I want to share, I’ve never really understood why it’s so upsetting to people that Bernard isn’t upset about Tim not telling him he’s Robin. Like I get it theoretically, they think it makes them boring, but I can’t see it that way. Because being a hero—being Robin—is so important to Tim, and it’s such a huge part of who he is (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of Robin) that isn’t it kinda amazing he found someone who understands that? I think it’s telling, actually, that Bernard still loves and trusts Tim wholeheartedly despite knowing he’s keeping that secret. Because he understands that yeah, sometimes the city has to come first, and yeah, it’s dangerous. He gets that better than any other civilian because he’s already had fucked up things happen to him because Tim is Robin even BEFORE they were together (Darla coming back and using him to find Tim, for example) and he’s been through enough to understand the severity of it. And he also knows Tim doesn’t want to leave him when he has to do Robin Things, but they both understand that there isn’t a choice. THATS SO INSANE TO ME because Tim found someone who understands it’s an obligation, not necessarily a choice. Tim can’t look away when people are getting hurt, and Bernard doesn’t even consider it an option. LIKE DAMN LET THE TWO LOSERS UNDERSTAND AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER god forbid Bernard trusts, respects, and understands his boyfriend 😭😭😭

[eardefenders]

Ok so I listened to SHOS pts 1 and 2 and I just have thoughts about the whole meta around mentioning Moriarty.

Because the podcast plays John and Sherlock as real. As if all of this is actually happening now in our world. It puts any listener with even a passing knowledge of Canon in the very intense position of knowing what's going to happen in a broad sense. We can see how John and Sherlock are doomed by the narrative.

We hold our breath as Sherlock talks about bodies of water though especially waterfalls.

We wonder how John will feel in the future about singing "don't go chasing waterfalls"

We scream as we hear James Moriarty get a shoutout.

But we can't warn either of them what lies ahead. If we try, they won't see it. It will be ignored or dismissed. There's also a sense that we cannot cross that line because it would also change the narrative and we can't because it's already literally been written.

Every listener has been forced into the role of Cassandra with this podcast and it is fascinating.