#My mom finds it hilarious and thats why I keep doing it. So many pictures of me are just me pointing at paintings

[igneous-croc]

Never take me to an art museum

[mhathotfic]

As earlier promised, here’s the big list of big brother head canons. Real quick though, most of these have little bits of my personal ships in them except for Iida because when I wrote his I didn’t have anyone I really shipped him with and now it’s the exact opposite problem where I have to many Iida ships I love

Warnings: brief mention of child neglect

Todoroki

- Ok, so you know those parents that like to document everything their kid does because they’re just so proud?

- Yeah that’s how Todoroki is with his little sister

- Like I’m not even kidding, she’s the background picture on his phone

- He just loves her so much, ok

- He likes getting new things for her

- Toys, clothes, books

- Really whatever she might need or like

- Enji doesn’t care enough to get her even just some nice things

- So Todoroki might as well take matters into his own hands

- Whenever they go to visit Rei he lets her pick out flowers for her

- She always tries to get her favorites since she wants the visit to be extra special

- She loves it when Todoroki reads her bedtime stories

- She likes to compare him to the story book princes

- She’s really well-mannered and polite

- She calls all of Todoroki’s friends by their name followed by san

- except Midoriya she hasn’t explained why but she insists on calling him Izu-Niichan

- The first time she met Midoriya she stared at him for a good five minutes before he asked her about it

- “In the stories the prince always lives happily ever after with the princess but you and Shou-Niichan are both boys. Hmm… Shou-Niichan likes you a lot though, so it must be ok right?”

- Midoriya.Exe has stopped working

- “(Yn) I think it’s time we head home, it’s almost time for your nap” “Huh? But I’m not even tired yet!” “No arguing, or I won’t read you a story today” “That’s no fair!”

- They don’t talk about that incident

- A week after that though he read her a brand-new story about two princes

- She has definitely figured out why

- Because I’m sure you’re curious her hair is red at the roots and fades to white at the ends

- She once accidentally froze Enji’s legs together

- That’s when they learned she has an ice quirk

- All the Todoroki sibs were just like !!!!! our little sister did that???

- Todoroki was so proud

- He works carefully with her to make sure she can use her quirk to its fullest potential

- He won’t start helping her with hero training until she’s old enough to make that decision for herself though

- She accidentally called him Daddy once

- She doesn’t remember doing so though because she was already half asleep

- But Todoroki remembers it

- It was kinda bittersweet for him though

- On one hand he’s happy that he means that much to her

- On the other it makes him mad that he had to fill that role in her life because their father refused to

- Either way he’s determined to not let her suffer the same type of childhood he did

- She’d have a good life, he’d make sure of it

Midoriya

- Oh boy, he’s such a doting brother

- Midoriya sweetie, honey? She’s six, she can definitely walk around just fine on her own you don’t have to carry her around all the time

- He keeps a separate notebook so he can keep track of her hobbies and interest and do research on them

- See after being bullied for so long he’s really worried about her feeling isolated

- He was really relieved when her quirk manifested

- He’s glad that she won’t have to go through the same thing he did

- But my goodness did it surprise him

- She got their mom’s quirk but it’s a little stronger

- She was sleeping when she first used it

- Inko asked him to check on her and when he opened the door there were so many things just flying around her room

- He just kinda closed the door then slowly opened it again

- He then proceeded to lose it

- “M-MOM!? (YN) HAS A QUIRK!” “Izuku, you’re going to wake her up!”

- Inko is on the verge of cuteness induced heart attack every other day

- Like she’s gone into his room with fresh laundry and found them taking a nap together and she just melted

- She took pictures and if you ask nicely, she’ll show you

- He taught her how to read and write by letting her sit on his lap while he was taking notes

- He didn’t know she was learning from him until Inko started trying to teach her only to find that she already had a good grasp of it

- He’s actually pretty stern with her

- He doesn’t let her have her way all the time because that’s how you end up with a spoiled little girl

- He’s still really gentle with her, but he’ll put his foot down when needed

- “But Oniichan!” “I said no (Yn), you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. It’s not healthy for you ok? You can have some later today if you’re good” “Fine”

- Since she follows him around like a puppy, she’s picked up some of his habits

- She mumbles to herself a lot and has the same love for heroes

- If you ask her who her favorite hero is, she’ll undoubtedly say it’s Midoriya

- She loves his friends especially Uraraka because their quirks are so similar

- She was left alone with Todoroki for about fifteen minutes while the others got ice cream

- She rapid fire asks him about what he thinks of her brother

- “Do you like Oniichan? If you do, then are you going to tell him? When are you going to? How much do you like him? I think he likes you a lot, but I’m still his favorite ok? You can be with Oniichan as long as you don’t keep him all to yourself ok?”

- Once everyone comes back and Midoriya hands her the ice cream she tells him something along the lines of she approves

- He’s really confused until he asks how she behaved while he was gone

-“I think she gave me permission to marry you” “HUH?! I’m sorry Todoroki-kun that must’ve been uncomfortable for you” “I can’t say I’m all that bothered by it actually”

- He’s still not exactly sure what he meant by that

Kaminari

- He lives to make her laugh

- He sees it as a great achievement whenever he can get her laughing until she’s in tears

- They basically have langue of their own and yes that langue is memes

- No one ever know what they’re talking about

- But they look happy, so no one questions it

- He adores her and will find any excuse to brag about her

- They’re on some type of hive mind I swear to God

- Like they can look at each other from across a room and he just nods, and brings her a snack no questions asked

- He always brings exactly what she wanted to

- His friends thought maybe her quirk was telepathy or something but nope

- He calls it his big bro senses

- He calls her Pichu you can’t convince me otherwise

- Pichu is actually a great way to describe her

- She has the same quirk and even less control of it

- If she gets too worked up, she might zap you

- Kaminari forgets to tell his friends about her habit of shocking others so everyone in the Bakusquad has definitely been zapped

- “What the hell was that?!” “Oh yeah, she doses that sometimes”

- He’s actually a pretty responsible brother

- Whenever he goes somewhere with her, he makes sure to have everything she might need

- He always forgets to take everything out of his bag before going back to school though

- “Why do you have a doll in your bag?” “Huh, oh man that one’s (Yn)’s favorite she going to be so mad at me”

- She was, don’t get in between a girl and her favorite doll

- He’s learned how to style her hair in all sorts of ways

- He’s especially good at braiding her hair

- When she lets him, he’ll pick out her outfit

- Sometimes he picks a really nice outfit

- But most of the time it’s obvious she was dressed by him

- Like they aren’t ever bad outfits, but they’re interesting

- He takes her to parks a lot

- She likes exploring new places so he tries take her to different parks as much as he can

- One time a certain purple haired boy happened to be running in that park

- It couldn’t hurt to just talk to him really quick right?

- Wrong, he might have big bro senses, but she has little sis senses and she exclusively uses them to mess with him

- “Hey, Denki-Nii is this your friend?” “Yeah, this is Shinsou” “Oh! He’s that boy you like, right?”

Kirishima

- You ever seen a video of a golden retriever playing with a puppy retriever?

- Yeah thats them

- He’s just adores her so much

- She’s so spoiled oh my God

- He wants to be a good role model for her

- He’s heard that kids base their future relationships on the ones they make when they’re still young

- So, he wants her to know exactly how much she’s worth

- He’s not ashamed of playing dress up with her

- She wants to be a princess and it’s the manly thing to do

- If someone tries teasing him about it, he just kinda looks at them in pity and shakes his head

- “Why should I be ashamed of making my sister happy?”

- He paints her nails for her all the time

- One time she asked if she could paint his

- And that’s the story of the time he went to school with messily done red nails

- He gives her piggyback rides all the time

- Yes, he knows she can walk but this way is way more fun for both of them

- He gets really excited whenever she learns to do something on her own

- Then he gets a little pouty because she won’t need him anymore

- “You’re my best friend! I’m always going to need you!”

- Cue the water works

- Sero called her Minishima once

- It just kinda stuck

- She is now known as Minishima by all

- She picks fights with Bakugou a lot

- She’s on good terms with his other friends

- It’s literally just Bakugou that she picks fights with

- Kirishima thinks it’s hilarious so he provokes the situation

- He’s hanging out with Bakugou today? Better bring the kiddo

- She wants to have a tea party? What’s a party with just two people?

- “Hey! Don’t think that I’ll let you win just because Eiji-Niikun likes you!” “(Y-yn)!”

- It appears that there’s one drawback to his game

- her quirk is crystal manipulation

- Instead of hardening her skin she can crystallize things

- She has definitely used it to trip Bakugou before

- “What the hell brat!?” “He’ll never believe you”

- He did and scolded her about how that wasn’t a nice thing to do and made her apologize

Iida

- She looks up to him so much and he doesn’t really know how to handle it

- Like she looks at him like he’s just the coolest person ever

- And suddenly it’s clear to him why Tensei always tried to be someone he could look up to

- Of course, he got it before but it’s just different being the one someone looks up to

- All he wants is for her to be proud to call him her older brother

- He definitely picks out her outfits whenever he takes her somewhere

- She actually insists on it he doesn’t she’ll get pouty

- “(Yn), I you’re old enough to pick out your own clothes now” “But I want you to do it! I always like what you pick Tenya-Niikun!” “If you insist, I suppose I have no choice than”

- She loves riding around on his shoulders

- He knows he’s spoiling her a little too much, but he can’t help it

- He’s just completely wrapped around her little finger

- His friends think it’s really cute

- It’s not often you get to see him relax and let himself just be in the moment so it’s absolutely precious to watch them

- She loves playing pretend and has managed to get not only Iida but the whole dekusquad to join in her games

- Their all wrapped around her finger let’s be honest here, even Todoroki has a huge soft spot for her

- She has no idea she has so much power over them and thinks it’s normal to have five heroes in training ready to drop everything to play princess with her

- Her quirk is also engine but hers are on her heels

- She likes to have impromptu races with him

- He likes to let her win because its adorable to see her celebrate her victory

- He reads to her all the time as a result she well above the average reading level for her age

- Bedtime stories are a chapter or two form whatever classic he’s deemed age appropriate for her

Shinsou

- Nap time buddies, like just super snuggly all the time

- There’s legit a corner in his room that’s dedicated to being the comfiest nap spot for a five year old girl and her older brother one can imagine

- We’re talking fluffy blankets plush pillows a few stuffed animals and some story books in case she wants a story

- Ya know, the works

- It’s really cute honestly

- I can see him being a low key over protective

- Like he seems like cool chill older bro who doesn’t care as long as she’s having fun, but he’s so worried all the time

- He’s just like ‘you’re so tiny, literally everything could hurt you, but you walk around like you could kill God and that’s a problem’

- I know I’ve said literally everyone wrapped around their little sis’s fingers and he’s no different

- Proudest brother of them all

- Will take any opportunity to mention her

- Low key though, it’s way to embarrassing for him to casually gush about his younger sister

- “Who’s the kid on your phone?” “Oh, that’s my sister (Yn)” “I didn’t know you have a sister! She’s so cute!” “Ah thanks, she is pretty cute huh?”

- Ok so you know how some kids decide that when they get older they’re gonna marry the person their closest with because they think that’s what you have to do when you love someone?

- Yeah she thinks they’re gonna get married

- “When I grow up I’m gonna marry Nii-kun!” “No you’re not” “I am to!”

- She gets really jealous and huffy when he has to do something with out her even though he’s home and can hangout with her

- Like she understands when he has to leave for school but now he’s home! That should be her time!

- She’s definitely the 'you can’t date my big brother! He’s mine!’ type of little sister

- There was an incident when she met some of his school friends

- She looked Kaminari in the eyes and told him he’s not allowed to like her brother

- Shinsou has never scooped her up and excused himself so fast in his life

[springmagpies]

My Uncle Reacts to AoS Season 4

So, instead of getting chores done this morning, my uncle and I finished Season 4 of Agents of Shield. Here are his reactions! Enjoy! Fair warning, it is a long post because Steve had a lot of feelings.

4x01

Before the episode: I’m guessing Coulson was like “I got too close to the situation and could no longer be impartial.” And then he passed over the title of director to May or that general guy. Talbot! That’s his name.

He’s like ghost rider is all. Holy crap he is ghost rider! I didn’t realize he was marvel.

Why’d they have to break up the band?

I am concerned about the robots.

Well, ghost rider is badass.

4x02

“You’re an engineer Mack. And a small tank.” Bwhahahahahaha, that’s so true.

The director is Talbot. Ooooh, not Talbot. Someone new.

Oh, Daisy has a picture of Lincoln. I miss him.

May is not okay. May needs a nap.

I still can’t get over Mack offering that maybe they’re just ghosts. Fitzsimmons faces were amazing.

Mace is such a politician.

4x03

*Lincoln is mentioned* Owwwwwww

I love the Phil, Mack, and Fitz team up.

Wow, Fitz is badass this episode.

Okay, so Elena is amazing. That shot with the light was awesome!

4x04

Fitzsimmons moving in together, count me in.

I see where Daisy is coming from, but not awesome that she’s using her friends and then leaving.

Come on Daisy! Come home.

Heylo? Hahahahaha

Radcliffe, I don’t think telling the android it’s okay to lie sometimes is a good idea.

What’s that face she’s giving? Oh shit, is she feeling things? Is she feeling things for Fitz. That’s not good.

I don’t trust James. *moments later* Called it.

Yes, Mack, two fire dudes just fell into fireworks.

Jemma for sure knows she’s an android.

“I prefer a classical beauty myself.” Awww, Fitz.

4x05

Oh, Fitz, a high five will not fix her being mad at you. Trust me.

“I’m sure they have it under control.” *cuts to chaos* Okay, that’s the best transition of the whole show.

Robbie, please don’t go after that guy. Just keep going please. Dammit. Why can no one just follow instructions in Shield.

Way to go Jemma! But what happened with Mace?? What did he do?

May had a heart to heart with her and she’s still leaving? Is Daisy really going to leave after all of this? She can’t, right?

Robbies uncle is going to get sucked into that book. Yeah, look at his expression. That’s not good at all is it.

Well that senator sucks.

4x06

*Mace mad at Coulson* Daaaang

Fitz is so smart. He would be a millionaire if he was an inventor or something. But he just wants to help people.

Wait, shit, Eli is bad!

*Fitz, Coulson, and Robbie disappear* Oh no!!!! Wait, that’s how the episode ends! Noooo!!

4x07

Shit, where are they.

Oh, so that’s where they are. That’s not good.

“I have to phone Simmons to tell her... I’m in another dimension.” Bwhahahahaha oh no.

That’s not Mack. Holy shit!

“Oh Mack’s the ghost rider no big deal. But you can’t hear us.” Oh my god, these lines are amazing.

The dialogue this episode is fantastic.

No!!!!! Don’t give the darkhold to Radcliffe. He’s already so morally grey!!!

Fitz is going to hit Mace

Aww, Fitzsimmons

There’s some flirtation with Phil and Melinda going on.

Have we seen who’s in that photo Mack is looking at? Hope?

Oh hey Robbie, how was hell.

Ummm, is Aida building a brain? Is she corrupted. Yep. She’s corrupted. We’ve got a corrupted android. Great.

4x08

Coulson’s comedic timing is everything.

Oof, Robbie is not having a good time.

“Oh yeah, Fitz solved that” Of course he did. He’s Fitz.

*Badass Fitzsimmons duo scene* They truly are a dynamic duo aren’t they. That shot was awesome!

*Daisy looking at Robbie’s car* well, you’ve got a sweet car.

*Mackelena finally kiss* gasps. There it is!

*Aida kills Nathanson* Oh dears.

*Reveal that May is an LMD* Wait wait wait. Holy shit. Oh shit. Damn.

4x09

Aida’s so sweet to May. And she sweetly killed Nathanson like it was nothing. Not creepy at all.

Once again Mack’s lines are amazing.

Yeah, don’t attack the android guys. Not a good idea.

“Why would you want to hurt me Leopold.” Aaaah haaaa, umm. No.

“Well, Simmons has only been kidnapped twice on this planet.” Hahahahahahaha that’s hilarious.

Smart people are stupid. That’s amazing.

*Aida freezes may* AAAH, she doesn’t even know she’s a robot!

*Radcliffe reveal* O. M. G. He’s corrupted. He played them. Asshole. Dammit he read it for just a second! No!

This is a good part of the show! I’m really enjoying this.

4x10

What the heck’s in that brief case?

And Radcliffe is now super creepy.

Poor Fitz, he doesn’t know his friend totally betrayed him.

“I did this to protect you.” Awww, Fitz. I mean, let’s not make robots, but that’s still really sweet. He just wanted to protect Simmons and everyone.

*May wakes up* Jesus, god May. She’s a badass. Imagine waking up like that! God! That’s terrifying.

“I can’t help feeling like somethings off.” Yeah, May, you aren’t real.

Mace isn’t an inhuman! Oh damn.

*Fitz analyzing Aida’s head* Uh oh Fitz.

“Is it weird that I found that attractive?” Hahahahahahahaha. Fantastic.

*Coulson back in charge* hell yeah!

*May finds out she’s an LMD* Aaaaaaah! Well, that’s an existential crisis.

4x11  

Does Radcliffe have more of them? Because he just happened to have May.

*May waking up over and over again* Feels like I’m watching The Good Place.  

*Aida breaks a glass* That’s concerning that a robot would make a mistake like that.

*Hope reveal* Oh that’s awful! Poor Mack.

Whose the other LMD?

*Radcliffe LMD reveal* Ohhhh noooo. Poor Fitz.

4x12

Hey! I was wondering where the lanyard guys were!

“You’re going all Gollumy again” bwhahahahaha that’s amazing

“I’ve lost too much already, I’m not losing you.” Awww, Phil.

*Robo Radcliffe talks about Fitz’s past* Oh my gosh, that explains so much. Oh Fitz! Screw Fitz’s dad.

How many Koenigs are there?

Awww, baby Fitz!—Maggie

I bet that’s his real mom too!—Steve

Fitz and Simmons are cute!

*Philinda kiss* Noooo! She’s a robot!

“Sorry, you weren’t meant to last” Radcliffe you ass. You evil ass.

4x13

*Agnes reveal* Eeeek, creepy. That’s who she’s based on!

Wait, is she really Australian? Damn, she does a great American accent.  

Mace really got the short end of the stick in a lot of this didn’t he.

*Shockley gets turned into an inhuman* Oooh shit.

Did they just put Shockley on the plane. The dude that blows up? Well, damn.

*Fitzsimmons realize Shockley is the bomb* Way to go dynamic duo. Now gooooo! Oh, they’re going. Simmons pushing Fitz is amazing.

Aaaaaah! Fitz! Fitz and Mace!

*Fitzsimmons hug* Awww. I know I’ve said it before but they’re cute.

Noooo! Mace! Shit they kidnapped Mace!

*Aida takes put on Agnes’s necklace* Ewwwww, creepy. Creepy creepy creepy! Aaah.

4x14

*The superior walking* He must have this ‘I’m so cool face’ on at all times.

Aww, is Radcliffe in there to be with Agnes. That’s so sad.

*Flashback with Phil and May* Aww, May is all playful. It’s before the sad times.

*Mace chained* that’s not great for your circulation.

They’re going to kill Mace. No, don’t kill Mace.

“Morales, you’re with me.” Uh oh, Morales. More redshirts with names making me nervous.

“You’ve enhanced yourself with alien technology.” Actually Fitz built his hand.

“Cool origin story, bro.” Okay, that’s incredible.

“Concern only slightly lessened.” Davis is just like ‘thanks dude.’ Fantastic.

Mack doesn’t need super powers to be a badass.

*LMD reveal* Holy shit. Holy shiiiit. They switched out all four of them??? All four??? Holy shiiiit. Fitzsimmons are all alone. Aaaahaaa.

“Even filth has a purpose.” Ewwww, and she’s leaning over him like that. So creeeeppyyy. Eewwww.

“He’s a shrink.” Oh awwww. It’s Andrew. She falls in love with him.

Well I guess Phil and Melinda’s robots can be together. Kind of weird but okay.

Oh my god, this is stressing me out!!!

‘Even filth has a purpose.” Gaaah, ewww. I’m still thinking about it.

So is Radcliffe even in control anymore? Or is he too preoccupied with the framework to care. Like, is Aida just doing whatever the heck she wants now because that’s unsettling.

4x15

Where are all of them? Oh they’re in the framework. Uh oh.

Ewwww, Aida is evil! He’s (Ivanov) alive and she’s cutting into him.

Aaah, they’ve got them surrounded. It’s so creepy.

This is some body snatchers shit.

*fitzsimmons LMD scene* *Steve biting his nails with wide eyes* oh my god that was awful.

*Steve rewinds to rewatch the LMD scene* they’re so good. And it hurt so much to see Fitz go so cold. Owwww. Because it was him and how he would act and then it just shuts off. Ugh, they’re so good.

*Jemma stabbing Fitz scene* Oh he’s thought about getting married. Oh my god, that’s so awful. So disturbing. That hurts. They’re so talented.

*Daisy LMDs* Ohhhh that’s so disturbing. This is all so disturbing. Oh my gosh.

*Daisy and Jemma scene* Awwww, they found the only other person to trust. That’s so sweet. Gosh, that was also a brilliantly acted scene.

They’re all such good actors. All of them.

God, this is all so disturbing.

*Aida kills Radcliffe* oh shit. Aaaaah. That’s so creepy.

“Because you and Fitz belong together.” Thats the truth.

“Their poor base” -Maggie

“And they just retiled the bathrooms.” -Steve

Ooh, quake jump, that’s so cool.

*Slow motion quake* That’s sooo badasssss!

*Davis flying the Zephyr* Aah, Davis. Careful. He just started training.

*LMD May blows up the base.* oooh ho.  Damn.

“Lincoln?” Oh noooo. That’s awful.

*Ward reveal* Whaaaaat?

*Coulson reveal* Whaaaaaat?

*Mack reveal* oh nooo, he’s got his daughter.

*Fitz reveal* Whaaaaaat? But, damn.

*Jemma reveal* Whaaaaaaaaat? She’s in a grave? Who’s in the car with Fitz?

*May reveal* is she an avenger? *Hydra logo appears* Waaaaait. Whaaaaaaaaat?

What the hell is going on. What the hell? What is this place. Are they all evil? Some of them evil? Mack isn’t evil right?

*Ivanov’s head* Ewwww creepy.

Whaaaat the helllll. As Fitz would say *does Fitz impression* what the hell?

Dammit why do I have to put the kids to bed!! I want to watch the next episode!! Gosh dang it.

That’s disturbing count: around 15

4x16

“Skye?” Skye??? Skye!!!

*Logo* ooooh, agents of hydra

“You’re on another planet this morning.” Yeah, she is. No shit Ward.

*Daisy looks up Lincoln* Awwww. Owwwww.

*Jemma jumps from the grave.* Lucky she was in a shallow grave.

They’re having a bad week.

Vijay isn’t real. He’s at the bottom of the ocean.

*Ward punches Vijay* wait, did he want him to stop talking? Hmmm.

*Coulson class scene* Aaaahhaa that’s not awful at all.

*May Bahrain reveal* oh shit, it changed that much! Shit.

“We’ve got him doctor” Radcliffe? *Fitz reveal*  Ooooh nooo! Noooo! Shit, noooo! Jemma died and he went all dark. Nooooo.

“It’s a magical place.” Oh damn!

“My father used to say...” Shit, does Fitz have his dad’s influence?????

*Ward double agent reveal* Ooooooh! Shiiit. That’s so interesting!!

“This isn’t the framework this is hell” Jemma’s so pissed.

“Drones, Dwarves. Whatever.” Awww, Jemma’s heart just broke right there.

Are they stuck in the framework! Well shit!

*Fitz and Aida kiss* Ewwww. I mean it makes sense in this world because of course she’s using Fitz but ewww.

She replaced Jemma with herself. That’s not creepy at all.

“Daisy?” Aaaah! He remembers!

This place is messed up! Interesting, but messed up!

4x17

“I make my own soap now.” Bwhahahahahaha. That’s amazing.

Aww, Mack has his daughter. And she’s adorable. Oh no!

Ophelia? Oooh, she’s got her own name.

“I’d cross the universe for you.” Ewwww! Noooo. He literally crossed the universe for Jemma.

*Fitz and Aida make out* *Maggie screams and Steve shivers* But why is Fitz so hot in the framework though—Maggie *Steve nods*

“The soap made me do it.” Bwhahahahaha

*Mace reveal* Aaaaah! Mace! He’s all gruff now and an inhuman! He got everything that he ever wanted.

“And we’ll make our society great again.” Ewwwwwwwhewe!

This is so interesting! I’m really liking it!

*Mack and hope get taken by Hydra* that’s so awful! That is so disturbing!

Coulson is so nerdy, I love it.

“You’re Daisy Johnson. We’re agents of shield.” Mack remembers.

*Revealed that Mack doesn’t remember* No! Shit.

*Fitz kills Agnes* *sharp intake of breath, Steve stays silent for a very long time.*

*Mack joins Shield* Good job Mack.

“How do you feel?”-Maggie.

Steve quietly: “sick.”

4x18

I love how Mace is all scruffy and his suits all scratched.

Aaah, evil Fitz makes me sad.

*Jemma seeing Mack and Hope* Yeah, it’s an oh shit moment.

“Tell your old man all about it.” *Steve gasps* Oh no.

“I don’t know the kind of man I’d be without you father.” “That’s why I’m here.” Yep, to brainwash him.

TRIP!

*Brainwash room* Oh no! It’s the other kid too! No!

MACE! Noooo! Why would Aida do that. She’s so evil.

That’s so messed up.

*May used Terrigen on Daisy* Yes. Good job May. And hopefully it’ll heal her in the process.

4x19

Ha, Bakshi has a tv show.

Aww, mace is dead. He was a good man.

*Daisy quakes Aida out a window* *Steve laughs* That took her by surprise didn’t it.

“It’s like sipping poison...” Mmm, Fox News.

“You’re the new head of hydra” Yikes.

*Ward throws remote* Umm, you guys have limited remotes!

*Steve pauses show* I don’t like any of this. It’s interesting but I hurt inside. It hurts that Fitz is evil. Mace is dead. Agnes is dead. Radcliffe is in prison. May was evil. I’m sad.

Aww, Coulson all of a sudden became that paternal leader.

Wait, so she totally used Fitz in like every way. What a jerk.

Trips the best.

Sorry Ward. She wants to feel bad for you but she can’t.

So much Scottishness this season. I love it.

*Radcliffe yells at Alistar* yep, because you’re a worthless asshole ya jerk. Oof, he just throat punched Radcliffe.

Aww, Coulson is coming into his own.

“When this is over-“ Do I get Skye! “Do I get my Skye back?” Called it!

I liked that scene with Grant. It was the redemption that the other Ward didn’t deserve but this one did. It was nice. Also really well acted.

“Hydra giving alternative facts.” Ooooh, they’re calling them out. They are so not fans of Trump and it’s amazing.

*Coulson on the news* This is Shield’s please vote! Please vote.

That was amazing.

4x20

Yeah, I hate all of this.

This all hurts.

*Fitz talks to Radcliffe* Come on Radcliffe, please don’t betray us. Please.

*Jemma kills Alistair* Well, that’s not going to help us.

“I’m sure everything is fine.” It is not. Simmons killed Fitz’s dad.

I hate this. It’s fascinating and I hate it. She’s just made him mad. God, no.

*Trip saying goodbye* Awww, this hurts. He’s goneeee in our world. Whyyyyy.

Is Aida trying to build her spine *body being built on the other side* Ohhh. Damn.

*Coulson gets shot* SHIT

*Coulson wakes up* You’re going to have to fight a killer robot, Phil.

*May wakes up* Awww she did it! She followed him!!

*Radcliffe redeems himself* Yes! Radcliffe! Yes! Thank you!

*Fitz falls through* Thank God!

Thank you Radcliffe.

*Mack not coming with* Maggie, I really don’t like this.

Oh gosh, Fitz is so freaked out. They’re all so freaked out. Aaah, Aida!

*Aida and Fitz teleport* Well that was unexpected.

I feel really ill. Like, this hurts a lot. I hurt a lot.

It’s like The Red Wedding but drawn out over 4 episodes and I hurt.

4x21

Before the episode: I came into the framework so optimistic and it crushed me. Like I thought May was an avenger and then it was like hahaha pain.

Oh yeah! And then she teleported with Fitz. JERK!

Fitz really got screwed by the framework didn’t he.

*Coulson kills Robo Ivanov with a shield* WOAHHH!!! That was amazing! ...and disturbing.

*Coulson recounts what happened with Robbie Reyes* BWHAHAHAHAHA. It sounds so ridiculous when you recount it but it’s so amazing watching it.

Will she stop teleporting Fitz! He already feels sick!

Yeaaaah, giving Fitz his abuser back and replacing the woman he loves with yourself is not what would make him happy Aida!

“If he wanted to kill us he could just flood the place. Why is he stalling.” TO FLOOD THE PLACE, PHIL!

“I drank the bottle of Haig” “you piece of—“ *Steve can’t stop laughing*

*Mack almost drowning* Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT.

*Fitz and Aida rescuing mack* THANK GOD.

*Jemma shoots Aida* well, yeah.

*Jemma shoots Fitz* Love ya Fitz, sorry man.

“What do we do with Fitz?” Talk to him!!

“I’m just like Ward.” Oh ho, that hurts.

“There’s only room in my heart for her.” YES! Oh shit, Aida’s not happy.

OH SHIT!

NO DAVIS! DAVIS!

*Toddler starts crying IRL over a toy* Now imagine if we gave her powers.That’s what’s happening with Aida.

*Fitzsimmons pod scene* oww

*Yoyo plugs herself into the framwork* This is a mess.

*Aida throws bottle in anger* His vodka!

*Aida and Ivanov scene* Aaah! Inhuman robot sex. Oh. Nope. Murder.

*Robbie comes back* Welcome back buddy! SHIELD shit has hit the fan.

4x22

“How do we kill Aida?” Hell chains? I’m thinking hell chains.

*Robbie waiting for Shield* Hello, back from another dimension? No way, us too!

Well Radcliffe is screwed if the framework is falling apart.

“I’ll talk to him. He’ll remember me.” No he won’t Elena. Wish he would though.

*Robo!Daisy shoots Talbot* *Steve sits with his mouth open* NO!! I mean, he could be annoying but he was a good man! And he’s been around since season 1!

“There’s a pulse.” How? Yay! But how?

“Once you say you can’t stop me. Well—“ it’s like when you say you feel safe on Survivor and then get voted off the island.

*Daisy & Robbie team up* Boom bitches!! That was super cool!

Mack’s not going to leave until Hope de-materializes. And that sucks ass.

“Robot May was much more supportive.” HA! That’s amazing.

EVERYTHING’S A MESS AND EVERYONE IS HURT AND DIE AND PAIN AND OWW AND THINGS.

Maggie: “What?”

Steve: “You heard me.”

*Aida kills LMD!Jemma* WHAT! What the hell? I feel so sick. Oh thank god she’s an LMD! But I feel ill.

Eeeewwwww the kiss Aida gave Fitz on the cheek is so disturbing.

*Jemma shoots Aida* YES! AWESOME!

*Coulson ghost rider reveal* HOLY SHIT THAT’S AMAZING! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

*Aida dies* Well that was awesome and terrible and poor everyone.

They really do a great job of making you feel sick don’t they.

*Mack and Hope scene*

Maggie: “you okay?”

Steve: *wipes away tear* no.

Wait, is there more to Coulson’s deal with the Ghost Rider?

“Gave me a glimpse of the life I could have here.” Oooh! Mack and Elena! She did almost die for him. They’re in love.

*Robbie having to leave* He and Daisy couldn’t like kiss before he left? No? Fine.

*Daisy speech to Fitz* someone hug him, please!

*Diner scene* Whaaaat?

We’re in space next season!!?? Whooo!!

They’re all so messed up after all of this. I feel messed up after all of this.

[joaquinfeed]

Love Letters (Arthur x Reader)

Prompt: You find Arthur’s journal and start exchanging notes with him. Fluff ensues. Word Count: 2,929 

— You push open the door of your Gotham city apartment building, before trudging over to the mailboxes.

“Bills, bills, bills,” you sigh, shoving the unopened letters into your bag. You turn to make your way to the elevator, but something catches your eye. A worn notebook lays on the floor at your feet, words scrawled across every inch of it. Your curiosity gets the better of you, and you can’t help but reach down and grab it.

You let your fingers run over the pages, as your eyes land on what looks to be the last thing written. You almost set the journal back down, not wanting to intrude on the stranger’s personal thoughts. But something about the messy handwriting draws you in.

I just want peeple to see me. I think I would be happyer if I had someone who cared.

Your heart felt heavy for the stranger; there was no way you could pretend that you never saw this. Your hand immediately shuffled around inside your bag, pulling out a pen and getting to work on your note back.

I’m sorry you feel that way. Everyone deserves to be seen. I’m sure you have someone who cares about you, and if not, I’ll be that person.

You read over your words, nodding in approval. You drop the notebook next to the mailboxes, hoping that the man or woman who left it behind will come back for it. As you made your way to the elevator, you couldn’t help the light feeling that washed over you. For once, you felt like you actually did something worthwhile in Gotham.

—

The next day, you were practically buzzing with excitement as you rushed home from work. All you could think about was the journal you found. Had the person read your note? Did they write something back? Did they even notice that the journal was gone? So many questions were swirling through your head, but you didn’t have to dwell on them much longer.

Sitting in almost the exact same place as you left it in, the journal was open to a new page, and another messy note was scrawled across the lines.

I only have my mother. You must not have many peeple to. Why else would you be writing back to a man in a jurnal journal.

Despite yourself, you laughed at the bluntness of the stranger, who you now know is male. A few other residents of the building gave you a look as you chuckled to yourself. With your pen already in hand, you moved to draw a small smiley face on the paper.

:) It’s funny of you to say that. Very bold. It’s nice that you still have your mom. Do you see her often? P.S. My name is Y/N, what’s yours? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.

Oddly enough, you were looking forward to getting up the next morning to see if your mystery guy would write back. At first, you were sure he would, but the more you thought about it, the more you started second-guessing.

Was asking about his mother too forward? What about asking for his name? After all, this man didn’t know you whatsoever. He has no obligation to tell you anything about his life; however, he did say he was lonely in some regard. You’re just trying to be friendly, you told yourself. If he didn’t want to answer, he didn’t have to. You wouldn’t be disappointed.

—

You were right to tell yourself that you wouldn’t be disappointed. When you took a detour over the mailboxes that morning, you instantly saw a new reply sitting beneath yours from the previous day.

You think I’m funny? I do stand up comedy sometimes. I actully live with my mother here. I take good care of her. Ps I like your name. My name is Arthur. Arthur Fleck.

Your fingers traced over the man’s name.

“Arthur,” you said out loud to yourself. You liked the way his name sounded, and as strange as it seemed, you felt like his name matched his cute, scribbly handwriting.

I like your name too. Also, you’re a comedian? Now you have to tell me a joke!

You looked over the words, wondering if you should write anything else. He didn’t ask you any questions, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t tell him anything.

I think it’s great that you take care of your mom, not many people would do that.

You considered adding “you seem like a really nice guy” to the end of your note but decided against it. You’ve already been inquisitive; it’s probably best to hold back a little.

A reply was waiting for you the next morning when you checked back in. While reading it, you couldn’t help but laugh at Arthur’s response.

Why dont canibals cannibals eat clowns? Becus they taste funny.

There was a line of space between the joke he scribbled down and the rest of his note. You glanced down, hanging on to every word that was written on the page. You wondered if he felt the same way while reading what you left him.

Most peeple find it strange that I live with my mother. You said it was great. Thank you for being nice to me Y/N.

Your heart picked up at the use of your name. At the risk of sounding cliché, you can’t remember a time when the mere doodle of your name has caused such a surge of warmth to fill your body.

You felt kind of absurd for feeling like this. You haven’t even met the man. He could be any person in the building, and yet, you still felt drawn to Arthur like he was someone you’ve known forever.

You hastily wrote back to him, deciding to take a bit of a chance with your next move.

No need to thank me, Arthur. I truly think it’s admirable. Oh, and that was a hilarious joke. I’d love to hear it in person sometime.

You knew that was a bold thing to say to him. It has only been four days since you found the man’s notebook, and you’ve already given him a reason to meet with you. You’re absolutely positive you have a high chance of being the next star of a late-night murder mystery documentary. Still, at this point, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Pushing the thoughts of Arthur out of your mind, you left for work, hoping to go one day without thinking of your new pen-pal.

—

When you arrived home from work, you were nearly falling over in exhaustion. You just wanted to get back to your apartment and crash in front of the TV. As always, though, you stopped by to read any new messages that Arthur had left. You were surprised to see a rather long entry this time compared to his usual two or three sentences.

I dont understand why you want to talk to me Y/N. You know you are not forced to anser me. I know that you probly dont actully want to meet with me. Thats ok. I enjoy getting your mesages and I want to keep talking. I feel like I have somebody with you around. But I understand if you want to stop. You dont have to lie to me and tell me you want to meet. I will be fine.

For the first time, Arthur’s note didn’t make you smile. Instead, you read through it with a dull ache in your chest. You wished there was some way to prove to him how much you looked forward to this encounter every day. Honestly, it was the only thing you looked forward to these days. 

Arthur,

You doodled a little heart next to his name before scratching it out, too nervous about leaving it there.

I have never lied to you, and I never will. I would like to meet sometime, but only when you’re comfortable with that. Until then, we can talk here. I enjoy getting your messages too; they actually make me really happy. I feel like I have a friend in you. P.S. What’s your favorite color?

The notes between you both went on for another two weeks. Even though your communication was often brief and to the point, you still found yourself craving the disordered, misspelled words from Arthur. Nearly three weeks of knowing him, and you were convinced he was the kindest, funniest, and most selfless man in Gotham. With every new letter in the journal, you felt your control slip away, leaving behind a feeling that you haven’t experienced quite like this.

You liked him. It has only been three weeks, and you liked him.

You tried to reason to yourself that it wasn’t totally crazy to have a crush on Arthur. It’s normal to develop a crush on someone in such a short period; that’s how crushes work. You knew, however, that it wasn’t normal to crush on someone you’ve never even really met. Arthur was nothing but some words on a page right now, but you still couldn’t shake the thought that you knew him.

With each day that passed, you learned something new about him. From his favorite foods to his job at HaHa’s, you found yourself holding on to each fact as if your life depended on it. You briefly wondered if you should take a stop by HaHa’s on your way home from work, but ultimately decided against it. You wanted Arthur to be ready to meet you; you didn’t want to force him to.

After a particularly hard day at work, you sat by the mailboxes, writing furiously about your day.

I hate my job. I hate this apartment. I hate Gotham. The only thing I look forward to is writing with you, but I don’t even know you. Isn’t that pathetic?

You carried on for a whole page and a half about the shitty day you’ve had. You considered tearing it out so Arthur wouldn’t feel required to comfort you, but something kept you from doing so. Arthur has been somewhat open with you; it’s about time you do the same for him.

The next day, you halted to a stop by the mailboxes, seeing the journal laying in its usual location. But next to it, a single blue flower. You slowly made your way over, trying not to get your hopes up.

Y/N Im sorry you are feeling like this. Things in Gotham can be awful sometimes. I have felt like that my hole life. Im starting to feel diferently now that I have you. I hope you feel the same way. I got you this blue flower to cheer you up. Blue means comfort.

You felt your ears burn red, as you picked up Arthur’s gift. You knew how much courage it must have took him to leave something like that for you. The man has told you enough about him for you to picture his bouncing leg and racing heart as he sat the flower down next to his new entry.

This means more than you know, Arthur.

This time, you did leave a little doodle heart next to his name. You knew he would only find it endearing now.

I am incredibly lucky to have found you. You make living in Gotham worthwhile.

You took the flower up to your apartment, knowing that you were going to do whatever you could to keep it alive and well.

If you weren’t sure before, you were now. You really, really liked Arthur. And you kind of, sort of, hoped he liked you too.

—

The next night, you were off early from work. So, after grabbing something quick to eat, you walked back to your apartment in hopes of seeing a new message from Arthur.

When you got inside, you stopped in your tracks. A man with curly, brown locks towered over the journal. Your heart started thumping loudly in your chest as you took in, who you presumed to be, your month-long writing buddy.

“Arthur,” you said quietly, trying not to startle him. He still jumped slightly, almost toppling over from lack of balance. He gave you a confused look, seemingly trying to figure out if he knew you. “It’s Y/N.”

Suddenly, his eyes went wide, and he hurriedly concealed the journal behind his back.

“B-but, I only talk to you in my notebook. W-why are you here? You’ve never been here before,” he said, moving his hands from his chest to his waistline, a gesture you guessed was made to ground himself.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just, I got off work early. I didn’t know you would be here, I swear,” you told him. “If you want me to leave, I understand. I’ll just look at what you wrote later.”

“No.”

“No?”

He finally looked at you—all of you. His eyes roamed from your shoes, all the way to your face before his gaze rested on yours.

“You- you can’t read it. You can’t,” he mumbled.

“But… I’ve been reading everything in there,” you paused before quickly continuing. “Everything you’ve written to me. I haven’t read anything before that! I would never.”

He nods, staying silent.

“Were you going to stop talking to me?” you asked, a little hurt at the insinuation.

“No! I- I could never.”

“Then, why can’t I read what you wrote?”

He looks down at the floor, picking at a part of his sweatpants. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You know I’d never judge you, Arthur, but you don’t have to show me if you don’t want. I can leave, and we can continue writing like this never happened.”

“Okay,” he agrees, and you’re glad to see him meet your eyes once again. He drops the notebook onto the floor, and gives you a wave before taking off towards the elevator. You wait until he’s inside before reaching down and grabbing the book.

His writing, as usual, brings a small smile to your face. It makes your heart flutter that you have a face to put with the name and the messy scribbles.

I checked every word twice in order to get this right. I wanted to make sure I spelled and said everything perfictly perfectly.  I know we have known each other for a little bit but youre always on my mind. Just like you said… you make living in Gotham worthwhile. I have a queston question for you. I hope you still want to write after this. Will you go on a date with me to Pogos? It’s a comedy club. It’s okay to say no.

You bit your lip, nearly drawing blood. The smile threatening to take over your face grew the more times you read over the note. You couldn’t believe the man you just talked to wanted to go out with you. And poor Arthur, who was too embarrassed to tell you that, looked like he wanted to shrivel up.

You scrawled down a giant “yes” under Arthur’s last writing before aimlessly drawing a few hearts around the word. After running upstairs to grab a few things, you came back down to the mailboxes and threw a blanket down on the floor. You were confident that people were going to think you’re crazy, but you weren’t concerned about their opinions. You parked yourself on the blanket and decided to camp out until the next morning when Arthur would, no doubt, be returning.

When the sun did arise, so did your writing partner. You heard the elevator doors screech open, and before you could look, Arthur was standing in front of you gawking.

“Did- did you get evicted?”

You laughed slightly and shook your head. “I was waiting for you.”

“You were waiting for me,” he repeated, looking puzzled and a little nervous.

“Yes. I wanted to be here when you read my response,” you told him. Your heart raced as he carefully took the journal from your hands and looked at it. His brows furrowed, and he looked back at you in astonishment.

“Are you sure? I think you made a mistake,” he dropped the journal and put his hands firmly back onto his chest. “This is not real.”

Your heart sank a little as you took in the distressed man in front of you. “This is real, Arthur. I didn’t make a mistake. I like you.”

“No- no,” his hands went to his head, so you reached out cautiously and took them into yours.

“I like you,” you repeated. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

That seemed to break him out of his episode, and he looked down at your intertwined hands before he broke out into a smile.

“Really? Okay. I’ll write to you and tell you what time to meet me.”

You giggled, debating whether or not to tell him that you didn’t need to write any more now that you knew each other. However, you let him go with a smile on your face and kept your mouth shut. If he wanted to write to you, you’d gladly let him. You were looking forward to seeing what time your scribbly, disordered, writing partner would come up with in your journal. 

Your journal, you thought to yourself. You and Arthur’s journal. 

You liked the thought of that. Arthur will just have to get used to it. 

Turns out, Arthur didn’t have to get used to it. He already was.

[pbandjesse]

We are sitting in the car waiting for James to get his bike all attached to the back. Which is taking a little while but that's okay. I'm just really tired. We just finished dinner with his family again and it was excellent and a lot of fun. But we did a lot today and I am just really looking forward to sleep. 

I did sleep okay last night. But I heard everyone awake around 9 so I got up too. 

To find that the water was turned off. Because one of the water heaters in the building broke. Dang. So I washed my face and brushed my teeth with my water bottle. 

I felt pretty good. James and Jess were having coffee. And James had scones baking for us. I finished getting dressed. And soon Jess was sitting with me and we were doing our makeup together. It was fun. 

Eventually we headed out and walked over to the café for real breakfast. 

And it was good. And I am glad we have two nice cafés in walking distance. But mostly I was just really happy to be with Jess. I'm sad she's going home tomorrow because this weekend has been excellent. 

Once we were done with breakfast we headed back to the house to get the car. 

Off to the thrift stores we went. They were calling for snow but it only lasted a few minutes once we were inside and then it was just horrible rain. But that was okay. 

I had an interaction that upset me a little though and could have dampened my whole day but I saved it. Through kindness. Me and Jess were looking at stuff and went over to the toys and another girl our age was looking took and she found a baby furby. And I was so upset I didn't find it first but excited for her. And her boyfriend came over and was like I saw that! And I said to them it's a lamb baby and they are my favorite and if you don't get it I will. And he said they are trying to fix some furbies right now and I was like that's so cool. And was trying to be positive but then she shot me a look and was putting off this vibe like she was upset with me. Like I was trying to take that furby from her. And I wasnt! I was just excited. So we walked away. 

But then I was sad. And Jess went to look at shirts while I looked at coats. But I was sad and trying to shake it. 

But I told Jess why I was sad and shook it off best I could and we went to look at dressed. 

We loaded up this cart. Just everything we even only kind of liked went in the cart. It was hilarious. I went around the corner to the other dresses and there the girl who got the furby was. And I decided to reach out and have a conversation. Turns out she sells nostalgic 80s and 90s toys on ebay! And I told her about my Instagram and now we follow each other. And I told her if she posts furbies I'll make a post about it! It was so nice and it made me feel 1000% better. 

Once me and Jess decided we had enough things we went to the dressing room. Jess went first and I organized the cart so our stuff was easier to grab. She tried on some ridicules things I picked out for her. And many just silly things she found. But she found some stuff she looked beautiful in and it was just really fun to see what she found. I tried things on a lot quicker even though I had about the same amount of stuff. I ended up getting a couple dresses and skirts. But my main great find of the day was an LL Bean jacket in light blue that I am so obsessed with. Im going to wear it tomorrow. It was a maybe at first and I actually put it back because its a little big. But I couldnt stop thinking about it and it was only $7.  

The line to check out was very long. So we wandered around for a while longer. Jess found this really neat faux antique mirror but it would have been a huge production to get it to New York. So after much hemming and hawing it was left. But I did find a kneeling chair and I have wanted one for as long as I can remember so that was a well spent $15. We spent a good amount of money but we got so much stuff. Including 2 really great pairs of shoes. One are beetle boots in blue velvet with buttons, and the other are leather shoes with sherpa interior that spills out and they are while but incredible. Im really jazzed about them.

We finished up there and it was raining. But we got to the car in one piece and headed to the small goodwill down the street. I do not like this goodwill. I find them rude. But we each got one good thing. She got a bottle shaped like a fish and I got those hand gripper exercise things I wanted. But I got really upset because there was an amazing vintage suitcase I wanted to buy that didnt have a price ad that goodwill wont just go to the back and find out and they have signs about it all over. And I was just really bummed. And they were like. Well you could try again tomorrow. And my feelings are this store, of all the good wills Ive been too, has the highest amount of unpriced stuff I have seen. And they wont sell it without a price! But they also wont put a price on it. Like guys. You are just wasting everyones time. You continue to be the worst goodwill. It sucks. 

So I just felt upset and wanted to go. We wanted a snack so off we went to the amish market. Except somehow I chose the wrong one? this was not the one I had been to before. It was very strange. But we did find one and I got a pretzel and she got a pickle and it was nice to walk around for a coupe minutes before we were back on the road. 

We went to the other goodwill. But honestly I was a little burnt out on shopping. I didnt want to look at anymore clothes. She did get a pretty excellent planter and I got an amazing 4 set of plates shaped like sea shells. They are great. But thats all we got. And that was just fine.

We went to a diner for a late lunch. It was so cute and chrome. My favorite type of diner. The food was good but alll very hot. And I was starting to get tired. 

We were about to be on our way home when I remeberd one of the things I wanted to accompish today was getting more snails and maybe a second frog and a heater. So we tried a pet store near where we were. No luck. So into Towson we went where we had great luck. I got 3 black snails. The same kind as my white ones. And a heater. No frog but as soon as we got home and got everything inside I put the snails in the tank and its like a switch was turned on in the frog. 

He starts swimming around. And the snails werent all the way out of their shells yet but he was just sitting and as soon as they started moving he started moving. And now they are all motering around in the tank and I am so excited. He seems so much happier now. And the tank is already free of old worms and food. This is great. 

Me and Jess sat in the living room taking tags off. And figuring out where James was. I knew he was with his friend but we were going ice skating and wasnt sure if we were waiting for him. 

But we ended up going and meeting him there and it was a blast. It was so nice skating with Jess and we took pictures and I just had a really good time. James got upset after we left because he somehow lost a glove. But I keep telling him its okay. But hes mad at himself. I wish he wasnt but it happens. 

We all left there and had dinner with his family again. Very expensive weekend! But the food and company was lovely. We were there until like 1030 and we were also celebrating James's mom's birthday and it was just really good. I felt really happy. But also really tired. 

But once we went back to the park to get his bike we headed home. Which is where Im finishing this post. Jess just got a shower and I am going to do that next. I am very happy but also very sleepy. And tomorrow is another day. I hope you all sleep great. Have a wonderful night. Pray for snow. 

[all-at-once-you-are-the-one]

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

TO

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Like

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

I

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

[entitynotincluded]

April 5th 2019;

2:56 am/4:05 am

I cant sleep and my whole body is physically aching. All these people that hurt me keep cycling through my mind.

First my dad... Luis... Why could you never show me love or even that you were proud of me. My youngest memories are of you being drunk and passed out. Yet I still loved you and idolized you with all my heart. You were my strong and hilarious dad! No one could stop you! You were out all day keeping the bad guys in jail so how could you be bad? When the divorce happened and you disappeared entirely. Any part of you that I thought I had was gone and I lost the dad I had grown so attached to. Any love that I felt you had for me left and it felt like an eternity till you said “I love you” to me again. I know you’ve said you love me before.. But that was when I was so young. I barely remember it. After all this time why? Why did you finally say it right as you left me again.

Mom... I don’t remember much before the divorce.. I wish I did. I wish I could remember you’re smile from back then. Who you were before my dads lies and cheatings were discovered. I see all these pictures of you back then. You looked so light and happy. Now when you smile I feel uneasy at times. When we left dad you started to drink and party... a lot. Living with Nana feels like the begining of the nightmare. That’s when you would go to work, come home to change and then head out again. Till you’d come home covered in the scent of booze, cologne and sweat. You’d just climb in bed, laughing because I had turned your creepy dolls away from me so they werent looking at me, then pass out. You never could tell that I had spent all night crying... worried you wouldnt return. I sat in that room staring out the window just waiting for you. I just wanted the mom that would read and sing me to sleep back. I wanted so badly for you to just be my loving mom again. I thought you being gone was the worst. Soon I learned you being there was living hell.

When you were with Luis still sure you guys would pull my ear and spank me... That was so rare though. After the split though... It was like a switch flipped in you and I became the punching bag to all your frustrations. It felt like everyday you would be hitting my ass raw. Pulling my ear so hard and constantly that it felt like it would fall off. Shaming me in public. Did you feel powerful bending me over in those stores, all those people watching, and just hitting me till I was screaming in pain because I could barely stand anymore. You would be worse behind closed doors. I wasn’t allowed outside a lot because I was always grounded or I hadn’t cleared my plans with you at least a week in advance. I lived in constant fear of you. When the front door opened.. what mood would you be in?? How long could I hide in my room before you came for me?? Some days you would just come home; tell me to go to my room, take off my pants and bend over. Thats you be there soon with the spoon or spatula. I can still remember how that wood felt on my bare skin. The marks that were left. The tears that would seem to never stop. “I’ll stop when you stop crying. Why are you still crying?” I learned to not cry because of that. Emotions would only bring me pain so why did I need them? After you would leave though and that door would close (that is if it was allowed to be closed, which it usually wasnt) I would just cry. Forcing myself to be quiet so I wouldn’t draw your attention again. I’m an adult now so you don’t do that to me now. Yet I still feel so much fear to you sometimes.

Harleigh/Zeih... You were supposed to love me. Did you ever really care about me? Or was I just someone you dated cause why not?? You were polyamourous, yeah I was ok with that. I just wanted to know I had a special part in your heart. You could do what you wanted with people and I would have been fine with it. BUT you hid it from me. You withdrew from me and slept with some of my at the time closest friends. I had to learn from your roommate that you were having sex with these people. Then to have your dad call me and defend you? All I wanted was for you to reach out to me.. Talk to me. For when you saw me.. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!! To come after me and just show some form of guilt or caring. But no.. You iust watched me break every time and cry while trying to run and hide.

You probably never learned this but... one of the people you were busy spending all your time with... Romancing and screwing... That son of a bitch would later take advantage of me. Thats for later in this hell of a post though. First you Harleigh.. You get to know how what you did affected me... I already had trust and abandonment issues. You knew this... After this though... I just lost all sense of trust. Those I dated after you were because I felt the need to say yes not cause I wanted to. I remeber one guys name after you and thats cause I know I hurt him and for that I’m truly sorry. It took YEARS for me to finally, FINALLY feel attached to someone again. To fully love them. He is so much to me but god damn am I terrifed. I’m so scared of history repeating. You know why I’m so scared?? Because of you Harleigh... Harleigb you are the reason my heart fucking turned to dust. After you I stopped eating because maybe you found my body disgusting?? I identified as Asexual at the time but had been willing to have sex if that was what you really desired from me. I was willing to be that vulnerable with you. Yet you twisted it and shattered me. I stopped eating, my body would just start puking everyday... I lost all sense of time.

That is until Sam.

Sam... You through all of this had been there for me to go to and cry. When hugged me it felt like a shield. I thought you were my genuine friend. I called you my older brother sometimes for gods sake. But no... You took my trust and shattered it too. I just wanted a ride to my best friends house after a long day of guys being creepy and flipping my skirt up. You offered me a ride so I could avoid the creeps on the bus. Did you plan to take me up to that hill/mountaint that day? When did you deside that was the destination? All I remember is Ninja Sex Party playing in your speakers and driving past my friends house. I was so confused but I trusted you.

I got out of that car and looked at the view you had wanted me to see.

I sat on the rock like you told me to.

I was being the good little girl everyone told me to be.

Then next thing I know.. your mouth is on mine. Your hands just touching and clawing at my chest. Suddenly you had pushed my skirt up.. it felt like you were clawing at my tights... like you would rip them off at any second.. You had asked if I wanted you to go in my underwear. How many god damn times did I say no and shake my head??? Were my tears not enough for you?!!!! Apparently not. Your strong hands that had held me so many times suddenly were violating me. I remember your touch on my vagina.. You made a comment about how I shouldnt be embarrassed that I wasnt bare down there. You finallt took me to my friends house when you were done with me and after that you never spoke to me again.

Dylan... you were a minor part in all of this. You were just a boy that wanted his dick to get sucked. And I was just a boy that wanted some weed. Yet that wasn’t all... you knew I had a small crush on you... You joked about it to me. You led me along and ditched me right as one of my close friends that you liked started talking to you again. You left me like some road kill. Why couldnt you at least stay and be my friend?? No. You had to completely stop talking to me. So for that fuck you. You never cared when I cried. Never came when I was crying and on the verge. Just begging for some form of help.

After all this I tried to stop eating and existing. I went to an out patient program and acted like a good recovering depressed child. I just wanted to play happy until the day I snapped and killed myself. Now though... Now I feel so happy. Everyday I get to talk to the love of my life. He sees my pain. It scares him yes. But it doesn’t scare him away. If anything it brings him closer. He wants to be there for me and I want to be there for him. I don’t have to be fake happy anymore.

I just get to be genuinely happy!

He makes living through all of this worth it and so much more. There will be hard times in the future. I accept this. Yet I feel so much more prepared to face it as long as I have my soulmate, James. He makes me not hate the world anymore. In fact now I don’t hold hate towards any of these people except you Sam.

My mother: I love her dearly even though she terrifies me

My father: I want to trust you and feel a bond if that were possible

Dylan: We were both so young I just hope you learned and are a better person now

Harleigh: I hope you find joy in your life. Though it would bring me so much joy if you could see like once in public with my James. I just want you to see how much better of a person he is than you will EVER be.

[dork-empress]

Yellow Flowers and Punch

Rating: General Audiences

Category: M/M

Fandom: Trollhunters (Cartoon)

Relationship: Steve Palchuk/Eli Pepperjack

Characters: Steve Palchuk Eli Pepperjack Toby Domzalski Darci Scott Mary Wang Shannon Longhannon

Additional Tags: First Dates Homecoming Bad date Bullying Alcohol

Eli waits anxiously for his first 'date' with Steve, but some of Steve's friends arrive to spoil the party

I was going to have this as one section of a 5+1 I'm writing, but it exploded so I'll do something else for that section.

Goes along with my fic 'You're Alright' but can probably be read independently, theres just reference to the fact Steve asked Eli to homecoming.

“Mooooom,” Eli whined, “It’s not prom, you don’t need to take pictures.”

“But you have a DATE!” She said, practically jumping up and down, “And you look so handsome and fancy! We have to commemorate the occasion.”

Eli groaned and mumbled under his breath that it wasn’t a date. Though, truth be told he wasn’t sure about that. Steve had asked him out to the dance while they were stargazing and had spelled out the question in christmas lights, which was romantic as all hell and made Eli strongly believe his heart was going to burst. But still, Steve had never said it was a date, and Eli didn’t want to assume.

Then again, he’d never said it was ‘just as friends’ either. His heart did a little jump every time he reminded himself of that.

The doorbell rang. “Oh! That’s probably him!” His mother squealed, going to answer before Eli could move.

“Mom don’t--” Eli wasn’t even sure what he was going to warn his mother against, but he felt like there should be something.

Ignoring her son, Mrs. Pepperjack opened the door to reveal Steve, standing with a flower in hand. “Oh, how sweet! Eli, come look.” Eli came over, shrugging his shoulders. Flowers...that was DEFINITELY Romantic, right?

Steve smiled. “You look nice,” Eli looked down at his own outfit, a green button down and khaki slacks. His mom made him wear a tie, shiny and silver. She had to tie it for him.

“Thanks,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you too,” Steve was a bit more classic, white shirt, blazer, and bow tie. Eli wondered if he was nervous too.

Steve handed him the flowers, “here,” he said a touch too forcefully. Eli smirked, taking them. They were yellow, and didn’t look in the best condition. Yellow flowers meant friendship, right? Oh god this was confusing.

“Thanks,” He said nervously.

“Here, let me take those and put them in water,”Mrs. Pepperjack snatched the flowers up and rushed to the kitchen, “don’t move! I need pictures of the both of you!”

“Mooom,” Eli whined, but Steve snorted.

“No worries, Mrs. P!” Steve smirked.

Neither of them met each other’s eyes or spoke as they waited. The photos were stiff and awkward, and then Eli rushed them both out of the house.

“I am sooooo sorry,” Eli said instantly, as Steve led him to his Vespa, “she gets excitable.”

“Gee, I wonder who that reminds me of,” Steve said. Eli frowned at him, “you’ve never seen the way your face gets when you talk about conspiracies have you?”

Eli covered his face, “is it bad?”

Steve chuckled, “Nah. Not at all.” He got on his Vespa, “Come on, let’s do this.”

Eli started shaking as they made their way into the gymnasium, while Steve stood up taller, emboldened by the presence of his schoolmates. Eli was not emboldened. Eli was terrified.

Immediately they were immersed in the low buzz of chatter covered by the music booming from the speakers. They’d gotten Krel to DJ this year, and it seemed like he was still trying some of his more experimental stuff. It was early enough in the dance that people weren’t really dancing yet, just milling. Eli’s eyes darted around the room, seeing where they could go, or what they could do.

“Hey, Steve,” A cold chill ran through Eli’s spine as he recognized the voice belonging to Brad, one of Steve’s football buddies. “What took you so long, man?”

Brad and their other friend, Kevin, came over, full bro stride in process. Eli knew exactly how fast he would have to walk to try and escape that stride, but he fought his instincts and stayed in place. “Hey, guys!” Steve said, grinning broadly, and unintentionally copying their posture. Eli wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it. “Whatsup?”

Brad and Kevin came over, giving Steve the traditional bro-hug. Their eyes inevitably turned on Eli, and Kevin’s smirk turned to a scowl. “What’re you lookin’ at?”

Eli shrunk into himself, wishing upon wish that he could face high school bullies with the same confidence as he faced literal monsters.

Thankfully, he wasn’t alone this time. Steve shoved Kevin back, “Not cool man.” he said, frowning and beefing himself up to the perfect ‘alpha male’ posture. “I told you to lay off him now.”

“Yeah, man,” Brad said, snickering, “Didn’t you here. Little buddies a full-grown freak-slayer now.” Brad hooked Eli into a half-Nelson and noogied the top of his head. It was a stupid thing to be thinking about, but he worked hard on his hair! He didn’t want it messed up.

“Well, takes one to slay one, I guess,” Kevin said, laughing, “Steve, come on, Brad got stuff to spike the punch bowl, it’s gonna be hilarious.”

Steve actually laughed, and it felt like a punch to Eli’s gut. “Yeah, sure, sounds fun,” Steve said, “I’ll keep cover.”

Brad and Kevin walked as non-chalantly over to the snack table as they could, which wasn’t exactly subtle. Steve went to follow and Eli grabbed his arm. “You’re not actually going to spike the punch bowl, are you?”

Steve shrugged, “Why not? It’s funny.”

A hundred responses flew by Eli’s mind, and he didn’t know where to start. “You’re going to get in trouble!” he said urgently, wishing he could whisper, but it was impossible with the music. It sounded like whale songs.

“Only if I get caught,” Steve said with a wink, that Eli would have found charming if he weren’t so devastated. “I’ll come find you after, ok? The dance should have picked up by then. Alright?”

Eli wanted to explain how what Steve was doing was wrong, wanted to yell at him for leaving him two minutes after they arrived...but all he did was say, “Alright” and watch as Steve ran off.

And there he was, stranded in a hot, stuffy room with all his classmates. In other news, his worst nightmare. Well, one of his worst nightmares. It was in the top 5.

His tie started feeling too tight, and no matter how many times he adjusted it, it felt like a noose. The music was pounding in his ears with no sense of melody. Whatever it was made his blood feel like it was pulsing out of his eardrums, ready to burst.

He heard a familiar voice and picked his head up. “Hey, Eli!” the words became clear through the music. Toby was calling him. “Come over here!”

Reluctant to move from his spot, Eli made his way over. Toby was with Darcy (dressed in her mascot costume for some reason) Aja, Shannon, and Mary. Darcy and Shannon were chatting about something, Mary on her phone, either trying to text, take a selfie, or both, it was unclear, and Aja was dancing along to Krel’s odd music, in moves Eli had never seen. “Hey, what’s up!” Toby said, “You ready to battle it out for homecoming king?”

“Oh, y-yeah,” Eli said. He’d been so consumed with worry about his date, he’d forgotten the competition, “Can’t wait.”

“So, we’re trying to form a dance circle,” Darcy said, being pulled from her conversation with Shannon, “You know, really get the party started.”

“You can dance with me, for now!” Mary said, “My date from Northwest Oaks is running late, and Shannon says she’ll dance with Aja.” They all turned to the platinum blonde briefly, but then Mary put a hand to her mouth and did her best to whisper, “Although we haven’t figured out HOW yet.”

Eli swallowed. It was nice of her to say so, everyone knew the popular girls didn’t really like to be seen with the complete-total-loser boys. The very cynical part of Eli’s brain wondered if it was because she knew he was gay, and was only willing because she might get a ‘cool gay best friend.’ Some girls had tried to put him in that position before. It did not work out. “Um, actually,” he said, “I’m with someone.” He didn’t specify whether he meant at the dance or in life. Frankly, he didn’t know.

The girls didn’t mind, cooing as one “oooOOOOooooh,” “Eli’s got a date!” Shannon said.

“Oh my gosh!” Mary said, jumping on the balls of her feet, “WhoisitwhoisitwhoISIT?!”

Eli blushed and massaged the back of his neck. “Steve,” he said, soft enough they might not have heard.

Their blank stares told him they did. “Wait,” Toby said, blinking as though he was trying to figure out a math problem. “You mean, Steve Palchuk? That Steve?”

“Yeah,” Eli said, shifting uncomfortably. It had seemed like such a wonderful idea at the time, but now….now he wasn’t sure.

“Wow,” Shannon said, trying to sound intrigued, “I--definitely wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah,” Darci agreed, “I mean, I heard you guys were doing that...that creepslayer thing, right?” Eli nodded, “Well, I guess he’s changed a lot in the past year.”

“He has,” Eli said, meaning it, as he smiled. “We’ve spent a lot of time together this summer, it was great.”

“Aw, thats nice,” Mary said, “Where is he now?”

Eli’s face fell. He didn’t know how to explain or excuse what Steve was doing.

“Well, as long as you’re happy,” Shannon said.

Was he happy? Eli shifted uncomfortably. “I…” Eli swallowed, “I have to go.”

He ran out of the gym as quickly as he could without bringing too much attention to himself. He wasn’t sure how much success he had there, but it was an attempt.

As a general rule, he tended to avoid public school bathrooms, choosing instead to go right before class, and once right when he got home. It was dirty and covered in graffiti, a great deal of it inappropriate, and he didn’t even want to think about what was under his shoes. Still, this was his best shot at avoiding Coach Lawrence wandering around the school looking for strays.

He locked himself in a stall, resting his back on the back of the door. He took a breath, trying to figure out whether it was worth calling his mom to come pick him up. He sniffed, remembering how excited she was. Remembering how excited HE was. He really thought he and Steve had a chance.

The bathroom door opened and he stood still. “Hey, Eli, you in here?”

Eli stood perfectly still, trying to move as little as possible. It was Steve. Eli wasn’t sure he wanted to see him right then. “Eli,” Steve said, “I can see your zip slips underneath the stall door.”

Dammit. Reluctantly, he stepped out of the stall, hanging his head. “Hey,” Steve said, his voice going down to his kind voice and reaching out to hold Eli’s arms. “What’s going on?”

Eli shrugged, and tried to turn away, but ever so gently, Steve turned him back. “Talk to me.”

“Why would you want to talk to me now?” Eli muttered, “you seemed fine just talking to your friends.”

Steve frowned, “What? Are you talking about Brad and Kevin? We were just messing around a bit, I told you I’d be right back.”

Eli rolled his eyes, “That’s what you call ‘messing around?’ Spiking everyone’s punch?”

“Oh come on,” Steve said, “It’s funny!”

“It’s not!” Eli said, his voice raising, “It’s bullying!”

The word hit Steve like a bulldozer. He visibly recoiled, letting Eli’s arms go. “What? No it isn’t! It’s just a stupid prank, we’re not picking on anyone.”

“Getting people drunk who don’t want to be is mean!” Eli said, “Even if it’s not directed at one person, it’s STILL mean!”

Steve gawked at him, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “It--It’s just watered down vodka!” he said, “People probably won’t even notice that stuff.”

“If they won’t notice, what’s the fucking point?” Eli said, feeling all his despair turning to anger. Steve gaped at him, not able to respond, “God, why do you even hang out with those guys?”

“What, Brad and Kevin?” Steve said, “They’re my friends!”

“Are they?” Eli asked, “You never saw them over the summer, I know ‘cause you were with me most of that time. You guys only seem to hang out at football or when you’re picking on people.” Eli very generously said ‘people’ and not ‘me.’

“Hey, we’ve gotten a lot better recently,” Steve said, “We’re learning.”

“YOU’RE learning,” Eli said, “Around me, at least. You go right back to being mean and aggressive when they’re around. And they….” he trailed off, not even knowing how to describe Kevin and Brad.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Eli, have they done something to you when I wasn’t there?”

Eli didn’t know how to answer that either. They respected Steve’s wishes to leave Eli alone, with physical stuff at least. They didn’t stop their snide comments, though, and Eli would always remember being in middle school with them. Steve didn’t know how awful they could get. “Kevin literally just called me a freak in front of you.”

“What?” Steve asked, “No he didn’t!”

“Brad said I was a ‘freak-slayer’ and Kevin said ‘it takes one to slay one.’”

Steve spluttered, “That--that was just messing around,” Steve said. “He was just teasing you, we tease each other all the time.”

“Well his ‘teasing’ feels a lot like ‘bullying,’” Eli said, “And I would know.”

Steve actually flinched, and that made Eli feel both guilty and a bit satisfied at the same time. “We didn’t mean anything,” He said, “I’ll tell them to stop.”

Eli took a deep breath, “Fine,” he said, “And you have to tell Coach Lawrence about the spiked punch.”

“What?” Steve said, “Come on, Eli, it was just a joke!”

“It’s mean!” Eli said, “There are ways to pull pranks without hurting them! And besides that it’s just a jackass move!”

Steve blinked at him, “Did you just call me a jackass?”

Eli swallowed, his sudden burst of confidence starting to fade. “Well, you’re being one right now.”

Steve bit his tongue, turning to lean on the bathroom wall, something Eli would not have done, especially in Steve’s nice outfit. “This is a pretty terrible first date isn’t it?”

Eli blinked, feeling a shock go through his system. “So, this WAS a date…”

Steve looked up, in shock. “Of COuRSE it was a date!” he said, his voice breaking. “I LITERALLY spelled it out in lights and...and I took you out stargazing….and I. I got you flowers!”

“See, I thought that,” Eli said, blushing, “But you hadn’t said it, and like, the flowers were yellow, and I think that means friendship? Or I heard that once, anyway.”

“They do?” Steve said, “Flip!” He sighed and looked off to the side, “I knew I shouldn’t have waited til last minute to buy those.”

Eli bit his lip, stepping forward. “Well, I did WANT it to be a date…” Eli said, rocking himself back and forth, “I mean, that’s why I wasn’t sure, I thought maybe I was just looking to into things or maybe had wishful thinking or something.”

Steve frowned at him. “Stop it,” he said.

Eli tilted his head, “Stop what?”

“Stop being so cute.” Steve said, “I’m in emotional turmoil here.”

Eli couldn’t help but chuckle. He stepped forward, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. And lecturing you. And calling you a jackass….”

Steve sighed, “No, you were right. I am a jackass.”

“Hey,” Eli said, “Look, you really HAVE been being better. I wouldn’t have agreed to what may possibly have been a date if you hadn’t.” He stepped right in front of Steve.

Steve hung his head, “I just….I want to be a good person. I’m trying. I just keep messing up.”

“That’s ok,” Eli said, Steve frowned up at him. “No, really. Look, you were….kinda terrible for a long time.” Steve winced, “But no one’s cursed to be like that. You’re trying to be better, and thats huge. One mistake doesn’t set that back. It’s just a matter of KEEP trying.”

Steve groaned. “It’s hard.”

“Being a good person usually is,” Eli agreed, “But that’s what it means to be a creepslayer.”

Trying to be encouraging, Eli held up his half of the symbol. With a smirk, Steve completed it. “I’m glad I have you around to help me.”

Eli smiled, “Of course.”

They both dropped their hands. “Hey, Eli,” Steve said, “Can I ask you on a date? A real date? Next Friday, maybe?”

Eli nodded, “Yes.”

Steve’s face broke into a grin. “Nice,” Steve got back up and wrapped Eli up in a hug. Eli froze up for a moment, but relaxed, holding Steve close.

Eli smiled to himself, resting on Steve’s chest. Steve rocked him slowly back and forth. “Hey, Steve?” Eli said. Steve hummed in answer, “As romantic as it is standing in the middle of the boys’ bathroom…”

“You wanna head back to the dance?”

“That would be best, yes.”

They seperated and Steve held out his hand. Blushing, Eli took it and let Steve lead him out.

Back in the gymnasium, the dancing had picked up, playing some modern EDM music. Eli enjoyed the snack table while Steve went over to talk with Coach Lawrence, before making his way back. “Well, I’m grounded,” he said, “AND I have Saturday detention, which I think having one person give two different punishments is just too much,” He scowled over to where Coach Lawrence was removing the punch bowl, “But, I get to stay at the dance.”

Eli smiled, “That’s great,” he said, getting Steve a cookie. “I guess we’ll have to push the date back?”

“Oh flip,” Steve said, sighing. “Well...the grounding only lasts until the detention next week. So, why don’t we have the date then? I’ll pick you up after?”

Eli nodded, “Sounds good.”

Steve smiled, reaching down to grab Eli’s hands, pulling him to the outskirts of the crowd. “Wait,” Eli said, pulling back, “Steve I’m really bad at dancing.”

Steve shrugged, “Me too,” he said, “Come on.”

And they were. They were so bad at dancing. If either of them were trying to do it themselves, no doubt they would be embarrassed, but together, they had fun. Eventually, Aja wandered over to them, seeming to be inspired by their erratic movements, which brought over Toby, Darcy, Mary, and Shannon.

They retired back to the tables, laughing together and eating way too many unhealthy foods. Eli could feel some of his classmates stares at them, and worse, saw Steve noticing them, and looking a little self-conscious. He knew the both of them must have seemed like an odd pair. Still, Eli had fun.

The music died down, and people looked up at the stage. “Settle down, students!” Ms. Janeth said, “It is now time to announce the homecoming king and queen. This year’s queen, is…Darcy Scott!” Darcy cheered in her mascot outfit, but more than her, Toby was practically jumping up and down. The both of them ran up to the stage, the crown lowering a crown onto Darcy’s head.

“And this year’s King is….Eli Pepperjack.”

Eli’s eyes went wide as he stared up at the stage, unsure if he could trust his own ears. Heads from all across the gymnasium turned to him, “Come on, Peppers!” Steve said, grabbing his shoulders, “It’s the year of Eli!” He pulled Eli up onto the stage, like a marionette on strings being poorly puppeted.

He then felt like his strings got cut when Steve let him go so Ms. Janeth could put the crown on his head. He turned all around, but in that half second, Steve had disappeared, Toby was there, smiling at him and clapping, as was Darcy. In the crowd he saw Brad and Kevin snickering, and it made him more afraid the longer he didn’t have Steve next to him.

“Steve?” He said softly, “Steve?”

“Right here,” Steve said, appearing at his side, “Just had to talk to Krel.”

“Krel?” Eli asked, confused under the heavy lights. He felt like he was going to fall over as he twirled to the DJ. Krel was going through a playlist, frowning, and picking one.

Familiar synth notes filled the gymnasium, making Eli perk up his head even through his anxiety. “Is this...is this what I think it is?” He asked

One moment later, they were being serenaded by the wonderful voice of Cyndi Lauper. Steve shrugged, “You like 80’s music right?”

Eli blushed. He never thought he would have his first real slow dance to the song ‘Time after Time,’ but he wasn’t sure if he could have picked a better one if he tried. MAYBE ‘Take my breath away’ but he was happy with this.

Steve pulled him in, grabbing his hips. Eli felt embarrassed that he seemed to be doing the ‘girls’ part, but even with a growth spurt, Steve was appreciably taller, so that helped. Across the stage, Darci and Toby were dancing. “So,” Eli said, “I guess this makes you my duke,” he said, as they both awkwardly swayed back and forth. It probably looked so dorky, but in the little bubble of Steve’s arms, Eli didn’t care.

“I’ll take it,” Steve said, swaying with him. “I guess this is me coming out to the school, huh?” He self consciously looked over his shoulder.

“I would tell you it gets better,” Eli said, “But it kinda only JUST did for me, so, I don’t know what’s going to happen now.”

Steve shrugged, “I mean, I kinda knew what I was getting into here,” he said, “I guess all we can do is just...keep dancing?”

Eli smiled and laid his head on Steve’s shoulder, “Sounds good to me.”

[tomhollandisdaddyaf]

Cheater Cheater

Authors note: Tom sees a picture of you and a musician leaving a club in LA and thinks you’ve been cheating, also I just picked that photo of Perrie Edwards as a reference to what the photo would be. Enjoy :)

Tom’s jet was set to land in an hour, at the beginning of the journey all he could think about was getting home to you. Now, however, all he could think about was the photos.

About an hour into the flight, when the wifi was enabled, Tom’s publicist sat beside him. “Tom, sweetie,” she was using her mom voice on him. 

“Whats wrong?” Tom perked up, worried that something had gone wrong or there was a delay in him getting home. 

“An editor from TMZ, a friend of mine, distant friend but,” She held her iPhone close to her chest. “He sent me this as a courtesy, but they won’t pull the story,” Handing him the phone.

“How bad is it?” Running his fingers through his hair, expecting a headline about being rude to a fan. Instead, his heart dropped into his stomach.

TOM HOLLAND’S GIRLFRIEND CAUGHT CHEATING LAST NIGHT IN LA? 

Tom Holland, your friendly spider, may not be the only boy y/n y/l/n is getting friendly with. Photos of Y/N coming out of a club late last night in downtown LA, on the arm of up and coming musician Guner, who was said to be playing in the club that night. Sources say she arrived alone and met up with the musician after his set. 

Tom couldn’t believe what he seeing, it was clear as day, there you were with your arm around another mans arm. 

Harrison replaced the seat beside Tom, “Let’s not jump to conclusions mate, there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation?” Harrison had always taken your side and wanted to believe that it was nothing more than a friendly night with a picture taken out of context. 

“I didn’t know they were friends?” Tom handed the phone back to Harrison who nodded at the publicist. “If she were going out with friends she would have told me,” Hot tears threatened, swallowing them down he looked at his best friend “I love this girl, I wanted to marry this girl,” 

Tom was now seated against the window, ignoring the commotion of his best friend and brothers messing around. Scrolling through photos of the two of you from 6 months ago, the last time you had seen each other. 

YOUR POV

Last night was a much needed break from the stress of finally finishing your senior thesis, now just to kick back and wait 2 more weeks until graduation and you’ll have college degree. Nothing could go wrong, you finally met Guner, your best friends secret boyfriend, who was nothing but a total gentleman last night. You and your best friend had gotten a little too tipsy on free booze and needed to be walked to the car seperately as there was no way he could carry both of you to the car. Not in the stilleto heels you both refused to take off. When it was your turn to be walked to the car, you had enough of a sense not to be caught drunk off your ass, for Tom’s sake, he didn’t need his drunk girlfriend being carried out of a club with her best friend. But today your love bug was coming home, your hair was done in loose waves, faux lashes and a sultry red dress, slaving for hours over a perfect 3 course meal. Tom would appreciate it, a home cooked meal followed by intense love making and a long bubble bath. A bottle of champagne on ice, and a pack of stellas in the fridge, tom’s find my friends said he would be pulling up into the driveway any second now. You heard the front door open and close, perching yourself on the counter, the room only lit by candles, you held your breath as he walked in. 

“Welcome Home my love!” You squealed, you wanted to be seductive but your excitement taking over. 

“What is all this?” He hadn’t looked up at you, looking at the table set with disgust. 

“I thought you’d want a nice home cooked meal,” your voice low and dripping with disappointment, “I made all your favorites,” 

Taking a deep breath Tom looked at you “What is this for? You think dinner is going to make me forgive you?”

“Forgive me? For what?” Walking towards him, your hand landing on his arm, which he pushed off. “What the fuck is your problem? I spent all fucking day making all of this for you, and you’re mad because, what?” 

Tom looked you up and down, a look in his eyes you had never seen before, hatred. “You thought I wasn’t going to see the photos from last night?” 

“You’re honestly pissy because I was drunk last night?” Kicking off your heels, pulling up a chair. “I’m an adult Thomas, I can get drunk with my friends if I want,”

“That you most certainly can, but next time you’re going to fuck someone behind my back, maybe don’t get caught leaving a club with him, yeah?” Tom could hardly look at you.

“Excuse me?” You stood up, marching your way towards him, “And who the fuck am I fucking Tom? Please, oh for the love of fucking God tell me who am I fucking?” Pressing your finger hard into his leather jacket.

“Here,” handing you his cell phone with the photo of you and Guner last night, “What the fuck is this huh?” Hot tears leaking down his face.

“Guner? You think I’m fucking Guner? That’s fucking hilarious, so fucking funny,” Biting your lip, tears now coming down your face, “Fuck off Tom, like actually go fuck yourself,”

“Me? Fuck you! I’m gone for 6 months and you decide to start fucking someone behind my back? Seriously? You think this guy is better than me?” Toms voice cracking, looking down at you.

“YOU LEFT ME HERE TOM!” Shoving him slightly “You left for 6 months, never ever inviting me to go see you, never ever letting me come up. Now i’ve ignored every rumor that you’re fucking someone else,” Turning away from him, you felt your heart shattering, “And you wanna accuse me of cheating because of a photo?”

“If you did nothing wrong, then why didn’t you tell me you were going out last night?” Rubbing his mouth in frustration

“Why the fuck would I need your fucking permission you possesive prick?!” You couldn’t handle it anymore, he had no idea how hard this was on you. “Do you ask my permission when you miss a skype call because you and Harrison can’t fucking keep your hands off a god damn bottle? Should we talk about that Thomas? Should we talk about all the girls on Instagram you follow, so many fucking models Tommy, and we both fucking know I don’t look like that.” Your eyelashes were hardly hanging on now, mascara running down your face. “You wanna fucking check my phone? Go right the fuck ahead!” Throwing him your cell phone, grabbing your keys off the hook, his hand grabbing your arm. “You have two seconds to let go of me,” Sniffling, he complied and you stormed off bare foot and heart broken. 

Left alone Tom sat in the chair, going through your cell phone, a series of texts coming through all at once

> I am so thankful that you met Guner last night, I’m so glad you got out of that house last night, hope Tom loved the food you made for him!

>Ok but, isn’t he so sweet for taking our drunk asses home? tbh, i might love him dude!

>Last text I promise! You’re a babe!

>holy shit i just saw the TMZ thing, are you okay?? dont worry, Guner’s publicist is on it!

>tom will understand so don’t stress and let me figure it out, i got us into this mess, just stay strong n remember graduation is 2 weeks away! you did it!

Tom felt like the worlds biggest piece of shit, looking up at the meal you had made him, back to the texts from your best friend, he fucked up. 

You drove around LA before parking in an empty lot, tears rushing down your face, barefoot in LA, no phone, no money, too hurt to go home, and too proud to go to a friends, you stayed in your car all night crying your eyes out, ruining the red silk in an attempt to clean your eyes when an officer tapped on your window. 

“Ma’am? Everything alright?” His voice sweet and soft, signaling to his partner to join him.

“Heartbroken, but physically I’m okay,” You coughed, looking up at him. 

“Hey sweetie, mind stepping out of the car?” The female officer asked, “We just have to make sure you’re not drunk or anything ya know? It’s LA,” 

“Yeah, but I’m kind of barefoot, had a fight with my boyfriend and stormed out,” You realized how that sounded, shaking your head, “He didn’t hit me or anything like that, he just accused me of cheating on him and I haven’t seen him in almost a year and I tried really hard tonight ya know?” Shaking your head again and getting out of the car, you had the sense to leave your license in the glove box, and after a chat you sat on the hood of your car with the female officer, drinking black coffee at 3 am, telling all your woes to this stranger. 

“Go home sweet heart, go somewhere, LA at night is not the place you wanna be right now, not now,” Signaling to your current state. 

“Yeah, thats probably a good idea,” You both slid off the hood, waving goodnight as they waited for your car to exit the lot, driving back to your shared home, turning off the lights before pulling into the driveway. You could go inside and be confronted again, or you could sit in your car and cry some more, which is exactly what you did. Locking the doors, turning off the engine, you crawled into the backseat and sobbed into the leather.

Tom hadn’t left his position in the dining room chair, except to put away the meal you had prepared, finding a note on the 6 pack;

I LOVE YOU! Please Enjoy this and meet me upstairs ;) btw, yes I am using sex and beer as a way to get you to clean the kitchen but you love me!

Fuck did he love you, and he fucked up horribly. He let you walk out without a word, without your shoes or your cell phone or even a coat. He sat back against the wall, finishing the six pack, no longer able to cry. 

The sun had begun to peer over the kitchen window, illuminating the mess of last night. The ice of the champange had long become water, the candles flame died out, what was supposed to be a romantic reunion was now a painful reminder of what he had just let walk out of his life. Fresh tears threatened his eyes when the front door quietly opened and closed, bare feet were the first thing he saw, dirty and blistered, then the black stained silk, and finally, her. Her puffy eyes, makeup running all over her face, hair in a mess. 

“Y/N?” Tom whispered, praying it was really you and not a hallucination.

“Don’t worry, I just came to change and get my phone, I’ll be moved out by tonight.” She said coldly, fresh tears leaking down her face.

“Angle, no” Tom leapt up. blocking you from leaving him. “I fucked up, I really really fucked up.”

“No shit Holland,” 

“I deserve that, but you,” He took a look at you, his heart breaking, feeling as though he could never ever make the world right again, “you don’t deserve any of this” His hand brushed your arm, but stopped when you flinched at his touch. “I’m not going to hurt you,” His voice was low, pained that he had lost all your faith in him.

“I don’t really know that do I?” You began, shaking your head “Never mind,” 

“where did you sleep last night?” Looking down at the mess of a broken soul that he made, “You look rough love,”

“In my car, in some parking lot in downtown LA for a few hours before the police came and made me leave, then in the driveway,” Tears dripping down your face, but too tired to wipe them away.

“Baby, I fucked up, I really really fucked up,” lifting your chin to meet his eyes. “I love you, I haven’t been good to you, I’ve been the worst boyfriend and I guess I thought you were slipping away from me. I knew I wasn’t being enough and when I saw that photo, I just, I thought that maybe you were,” Shaking his head and pulling your little body into his, your sobs shaking his body, “I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry,” His grip on your body tightening, “ I fucked up and I hurt you and even if you walk out of this door right now and never want anything to do with me, I will spend my whole life trying to makeup for hurting you. I love you so so fucking much, I was trying to keep you away from the mess of my life during filming, I wanted you to be focused on school, but in reality I was being selfish and an asshole.”

“I’m not leaving,” You choked, gripping onto his leather jacket, needing him as close as possible. 

“May I take you upstairs and take care of you?” He asked, looking down at your frail body, your puffy eyes and stained face and neck. All he needed was a nod from you, putting his hands under your legs and carrying you bridal style to the bathroom, your hands pulling on his t-shirt. “I love you so fucking much,”

“I love you Tom, I would never ever-” your words halted by a brief kiss from Tom

“Don’t, you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to prove to me,” Setting you down by the tub, slipping the dress off of you, “I’ll replace this,” Running the hot water, adding a bath bomb to it, helping you step in.

“Please, hold me,” locking puffy eyes to puffy eyes with the boy you loved, watching him nod and strip, finding his spot behind you, your head on his chest, silent tears rolling down his face.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” Kissing the top of your head, Toms hands pulling you into him more, rubbing your hips. “I love you Y/N, I really fucking do.”

Tag list @jkam3327 for giving me the idea!

[boo1a4]

11 question tag!

Hey guys so I was tagged by 5 of my fav gals to do the 11 questions tag (THATS 55 QUESTIONS WHY ARE YALL LIKE THIS) but anyway I was tagged by @s-lay-ing @sambashua @achuu-nice @indiepoptime and @yongpal-i (this tag is fucking eternal help me)

Cloud’s Questions!

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho)

Blackpink’s As If Its Your Last, Heize’s Star, Day6 I loved you and You Were Beautiful, most of seventeens title tracks and most of their ballads, lastly  Pristin’s Aloha! I'm sure my pronunciation is way off but those are tho the ones that I've taken the time to actually sit down and learn!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close)  

Ummmm I think it depends on the friendship? also I think I can tend to be a bit of both (cause I'm an insecure ass binch), tho I don't ever feel like my friendships are dying lmao

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)

not that I can think of?? like I'm sitting here thinking if there is anything and like honestly no????

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs)

Dracula Teeth - The Last Shadow Puppets(honestly cloud just listen to all of their music is so great) Daydream In Blue - I Monster (this is honestly one of my all time fav songs I love it too much) No Way Down - The Shins (you know I can't go 2 mins without mentioning them, some great lyrics right here tho also give September a listen in beautiful) Beechwood Park - The Zombies (I'm assuming you know the zombies cloud but on the off chance that you don't BINCH THEY ARE MY ACTUAL FAVORITE well beside cream and zeppelin but they are up there) Kimbra - Miracle (kinda of a random one but this song just never seems to leave me!) Big Bird -Hyukoh (oh that was 6 BUT THIS SONG IS SO GREAT also listen to wing wing!!)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs?

I generally prefer second generation??? I think????? I like a bit of all of them tho. but like there is no definitive answer to when each of the generations start and end so like I don't even know??? but most of my fav groups as far as music goes are older around 2nd gen but a fair amount of them are gen 3, I have a really strong love for kpop that was released between 2009-2014.

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE)

girl idk just my whole fucking life tbh, but my family members and irl friends will all tell you I do this thing where I yell sing songs and change the lyrics to their names this includes badly sung kpop songs IM SCREAMING THO CLOUD WHO ARE YOU AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle

um probs ofd?? id say weekly idol also but damn the hosts would literally be like who is this weird binch!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017?

In no order but 1. Would U - Red Velvet 2. Let’s Hang Out - SF9 3. Night Rather Than Day - EXID 4. Aloha - Pristin 5. Missing You - BTOB 6. I Loved You - Day6 7. Teenager - Got7 8. Habit - Seventeen 9. As If It’s Your Last - Blackpink 10. You, Clouds, Rain - Heize

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house?  

Im a real messy binch so definitely compact studio

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow)

ok so I spent a lot of time at my aunt Lori’s house when I was a kid (like summers, and after school) and my cousin was the BUG queen so she hand made leashes for her pet toads (that she caught) and we walked them around on leashes for like a week but I was always so afraid of them and also hurting them so I WAS NOT ABOUT THAT ahahaha dumb story but it makes me laugh alsoalsoalsdo they had this bench swing in their back yard and my cousin my sister and I would swing on it together for hours at a time and one time we were swinging real hard (REAL HARD) and the links?? or whatever that held it to the ceiling it was hanging from snapped and the three of us of us flew off of it and we all collectively blacked out??? it was so weird but I woke up to my cousin stuggling to get me off of her and then there lays my sister underneath the bench just blacked out chilling (she was fine) then my aunt came running out cause she had just heard the loudest crash ahsdfasdf not long after my uncle put stronger links on it and that bench is still there! From time to time when the three of us get together this story gets brought up its still the most hilarious thing ( ALSO CLOUD YOU ARE SO PURE I LOVE)

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept?

yeah I love music so much why not! not sure I would be able to contribute much  lmao

Mir’s Questions!

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

hmmmmm do you mean like I wouldn't be visiting anyone and just traveling alone?? or like going someplace where I know no one?? ok cause for the first I would book it straight to az TO SEE YOU MIR!! AND SISTER!! but for the second I would love to go to Japan (my cousin lives there tho so that also doesn't technically count lmao)

What inspires you?

Music, books, and tv shows! Also really well written characters or just interesting people I guess! but on like a ??spiritual?? level my mom?? she's just that binch you know ( like seriously Ive never met anyone kinder or more driven and hard working in my life she's wild)

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

47 KITS, no realistically I want 2 kittos and they will be named Bellamy and Murphy cause I got too also lowkey want to name a cat rami or Elliot or also kaz or Inej damn all the good names wow. Also the name Calloway is my fav name of all time and I WANT SOMETHING WITH THIS NAME

What are you opinions on fedoras

um eww?? what other opinions are there?? what is this question mir I'm???? but like ngl when worn in a none cringe manner then can look nice!

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

girl I've done my time (lowkey did you put this on her cause I told you about my gravy spoon today???)

What is your favorite type of tree?

I like Birch trees!

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

damn MY MOM cause then she might listen to something other than bruno mars once in a while

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

art, sleeping, reading and um idk?? tbh??? like maybe not being shitty and being funny??? idk??? like I don't know????

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

um hm im a moody binch bonch so probably moodmaker?? mir is main dancer cause yes duh ivy is leader cause she's the only sane one kennedy I feel would be a great rapper like she got that chic thing going she could do it I feel??? and cloud would be our talent tbh??? nom would be the maknae cause she's small I feel! Jeddy would be my happy virus bud cause she's a fun and funny gal ( I love) Jamie ALSO ONE OF OUR TALENTS wow yes I feel a main vocal here she’d go solo and be singing ballads left and right! JESS WOULD BE THE SWEET MOTHER MEMBER THAT EVERYONE LOVES AND IS JUST THE SOFTEST,,,A SUNSHINE GAL.

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

damn idk I'm like horrible at taking care of things (including myself) so like honest id just stick to the kit kats

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

The best ice cream (tho I can't eat it anymore and its very cursed)

Nom’s Questions!

how are you? :D

I’m good Nom thanks for asking!

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs?

Im a ballad ho these days they are honestly all I listen to anymore, but I do love me an good upbeat song I'm just slightly more picky about them!

fave anime movie?

ok tie between Whisper of the Heart and Howl’s Movie Castle, I honestly need to see more that arent Ghibli!

dogs or cats?

Cats! (my dog is practically a cat tbh)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room?

I have one! its a portal companion cube! its not technically an animal BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY ITS ALL IVE GOT!!!! also if you count tsum tsums I've got a few big hero 6 ones!

someone you miss?

My dad, its been especially hard lately.

describe your phone case?

its like rainbow watercolor! I have a pop socket that matches

favorite lore/myths?

Not technically myth or lore but Beowolf! I've seen the movie at least 40 times and I've read the epic! generally I find northern european mythology/literature to be more interesting than southern. but if we’re going for like ubran myths tbh not really my thing ahahaha.

eardbuds or headphones?

both for different things! but when I first listen to an album I like to listen with my headphones!

can I steal your heart?

you already have ~~~~~~~

favorite thing about your ult bias?

His sensitivity and kind heart! I love a sweet boy! Also I'm really here for Boo’s cheeks!

Jamie’s Questions!

If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

ohhh there are a few songs that I really really love, Heize’s Star is a song that I listen to daily and I feel like I could listen to it for the rest of my life! also September by The Shins! Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets also. Idk man I just really love songs with a mystical quality to them.

If you were in a kpop group what would your group be called and what would your fandom name be?

BINCH AND OUR FANDOM NAME WOULD BE BONCHES

If you could acquire mastery over ONE skill instantly, what would you pick and why?

Singing!! its just about the only kind of musical talent I think I’d be any good at! Im a vocalist ho I just want to be like my favessssss

First reaction if you spotted your favorite celebrity on the street?

I would literally hide so fast omg

First reaction if your favorite celebrity followed you on your favorite social media site?

SCREAMING ALL THE LOVE FOR BOO SEUNGKWAN 24/7 and literally only doing art of him and nonstop posting it

Snap your fingers and you get to steal your favorite outfit off of a kpop idol. What outfit do you pick, off of whom, and why?

OK literally all of Soonyoungs airport looks cause damn that boy does not get enough credit for his fashion (he's the best dressed in the group fite me)

If you were to get a painless tattoo that you could remove with the press of a button, what would you get and where would you get it?

umm probably something really pretty? and colorful? I'm not sure what put I like  arm tattoos!

What is your most prized possession?

probably my laptop?? also my collection of sketchbooks!

What’s a YouTube/online challenge that you have always wanted to try?

Im always interested to try those youtube art challenges, I've done the three marker challenge before and the draw this again challenge also!

You get a guarantee that your favorite celebrity will see your social media post but you only get 100 characters. What do you say to them?

I would literally just send my art to them! I feel like it says more than 100 characters can!

You wake up in your dream room. What does it look like?

LITERALLY A LIBRARY AND LIKE NICE AND DARK AND WARM BUT NOT TOO WARM LOTS OF BLANKETS

Kennedy’s Questions!

Make a 10-song playlist for your current mood.

it is here

What vine do you quote the most?

what is that?? who you fighting?

What do you value most in a friend?

I like people who are good listeners! but also people can keep a conversation going! But really tho just genuine kindness and openness.

If you could learn any kpop choreography instantly, what would you learn?

DAMN THIS IS HARD, so many great ones that I love a lot but probably Red Flavor?

If you go to your Tumblr activity page, who does it say is your “number one fan?”

damn Idk them so I'm not gonna like tag them or something lol

What is your ideal clothing style?

I like simple dark clothing that is comfortable.

What is your favorite Snapchat filter?

I really like the ugly ones tbh I don't use them enough

What subject would you like to study, but wouldn’t necessarily want to make a career out of? (for example: I really want to learn about botany!)

psychology, I really love learning about how people work.

Would you rather be constantly half an hour early to everything, or constantly 15 minutes late?

early of course, I hate being late

Would you rather have a single day to spend with your top bias or a week to spend with your number 2 bias?

damn neither??? ahahah no a day with boo would be very blessed!

If you could bring back any disbanded OR inactive group, who would you bring back?

F(X) BINCH I NEED MORE MUSIC

My Questions!

if you had to chose one kpop stage outfit to wear for the rest of your life which would you choose?

favorite music video aesthetic?

Group you are most excited for in 2018?

Recommend me some underrated kpop songs/groups?

If you could join any group other than your bias group who would you join and why?

Favorite soloist? and some song recs?

Childhood Story? (thanks Cloud)

Were you in any fandoms before you got into kpop, if so what were they?

Favorite Comeback/debut of 2017?

astrological sign? Myers Briggs type? Hogwarts House (I'm a Gemini, infp, and Gryffindor)

Random question but what are your favorite names?

Tagging : @s-lay-ing @sambashua @achuu-nice @indiepoptime @yongpal-i (y'all can do mine if you feel like it!) @forgetjunnot @babybyuny @kae-popx @kiheehyunie @jeonwoooo @trbldean130 @howcaniwait @joshhjs @maetaamong and if you’ve already done this you don't have to do it again ahahahaha I feel like everyone has done it already lol

ok thats it do it if you want!

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 3 because i have no self control

wah. I don’t want to start BL because that would mean leaving Edelgard and Claude. I don’t care about dimirti as much. part 1 dimitri is so earnest though

i think blue lions was written first. 1 the two monthly missions that have to do with students’ families are both in BL (Ashe and Sylvain). I didn’t notice this at first because for some reason I got it into my head that one of them was in the black eagles and so i thought every house would have a “welp and now we kill  your [insert family member]”. 2 two fairly important side characters at the monastery are related to BL students (Annette and Mercedes). Chapter 3 actually provides a intro for all the lords in their respective routes. Edelgard’s scene is serious but not especially sad, instead you can feel te fire burning within Edlegard and the scene shows how she’s willing to sacrifice the lives of those under her if she believes she is doing the right thing. Claude’s is actually quite light hearted in tone after the first few lines and it highlights the mystery surrounding him and makes him seem very sketchy. Chapter 3 in Blue Lions though is really sad. Ashe my baby boy. Here there is a sense of tragedy in the post battle scene.

My opinion of Gillbert slowly plummets as my opinion of Annette continues to rise. I mean absentee emotionally distant father? He doesn’t deserve Annette and her mom. Ok during Dimitri and Annettes C support about how being siblings would be nice, I’m like ummmmm you two are less than half a year apart. Annette is just small not young. its actually off putting to see Sylvain act like a decent person in Dedue’s supports. Underneath all that philandering and shitting on women, he’s actually a good dude and pretty smart, but wow I want to hit him sometimes. wow Felix is actually nice* to Annette. *well nicer anyways. He’s not mean to her. the “fight” Annette and Mercedes have in their B support is so stupid and now I need to get to the timeskip for it to resolve? wow.

I think Dedue like trauma latched (is that a thing???? I should go look up ptsd sometime) on to Dimitri. Like found the first person that showed a bit of kindness for him and clamped down. He sees himself as a tool of Dimitri, his entire existence is for the sake of another person. He hates Faergus for what it has done to Duscur but instead of helping to enact meaningful resistance against Faergus, he latched on to the first person that didn’t treat Duscur like scum. That’s not rational. Come to think of it everyone in blue lions need therapy like more so than the other houses (who could also use some)

And here I thought Sylvain was the one with self-worth problems, turns out Dimitri’s a part of the gang too. Its like he can’t see any good parts of himself. He is very earnest and straightforward. Also “you didn’t appear to be suppressing you emotions” huh really. not a topic you’re familiar with yourself Dimitri? Can’t remember if I’ve said this or not but why is Dimitri the only one to have a modified armored uniform.

Edelgard: tower, fortune, emperor. Linhardt: hermit. Mercedes: high priestess, strength. Ashe: star. Dimitri: moon, justice, devil?. Claude: sun, hermit?. Seteth: hierophant. Felix: chariot, emperor. Lysithea: magician. Flayn: lovers, priestess. Manuela: empress. Marianne: fortune, priestess, sun? death?. Ingrid: Emperor?. Bernadetta: hermit, moon. Dorothea: lovers, empress. Ignatz: hanged man. Caspar: justice, chariot

Ashe is such a good boy TT^TT

I always thought it hilarious that Lonato got Catherine’s name wrong, but no there was more to it than that.

Also I don’t get why Annette or her mom couldn’t just go to Garreg Mach. She didn’t need an excuse to visit a place, its not like you need a visa to enter. The school of sorcery and then officers academy sounds like such a roundabout way of doing things

I wonder what name Claude ascends the throne under. He likely only took up the name von Riegan upon entering Fodlan and probably used his father's family name before that. I wonder if Claude has an Almyran given name. If he tried to claim the throne under the name Claude von Riegan it’d kinda be an insult like spitting in the face of his people and that wouldn't gain him any favor in Almyra. But would he go under a fully Almyran name? He would be a more popular king showing himself as one of the people. However, I imagine that he'd keep the name Claude. Maybe he grew up with his parents calling him that maybe its important to him now that he's lived under it for ~7 formative years of his life. Coming to fodlan marked the beginning of claude carrying out his plan's to achieve his dream. Its also a period where he is devoid of his parent's guidance and presence. I'd also just say 16-23 is a pretty important period of identity building in a person's life. Its under the name claude that he finds people he wants to walk down this path with. Its an acknowledgement of both sides of his heritage. I wonder if his choice would be different in a non Verdant Wind route.

What if timelines get mixed up and 23 year old felix gets sent to right before glenn dies.  23 yo felix get teleported to an alternate universe or something and meets 13 yo felix. Felix angsts that glenn seems so young and how he's now older than him, maybe yells at his dad a bit and has a chat with 13yo felix.And then idk gets teleported back? Or worse gets trapped so now there 2 felixes running around and i dont know how thats going to affect the time line

Ashe would make the perfect court asassin. He has enough rank/political clout to get access to targets and its not suspicious if he is in proximity to them.But he's not important enough that anyone would pay attention to him. He's a knight and the lord of castle gaspard at most. He's like a minor lord not a duke or anything. Ashe has enough social and emotional intelligence to navigate social situations. He's easy to get along with and has that harmless sweet boy demeanor to him. He already is good at lock picking, sneaking around, and bows. All he need is some training from Shamir and Claude and Ashe would be unstoppable. The only thing stopping this is that Ashe is a genuine good sweet boy and hates deception. My boy is going to be a knight! 

You know what Dimitri needs? A Raphael. Put the one who cant deal with his own emotions next to the emotionally mature on and maybe Dimitri will finally get the help he needs. They can train together too

Dimitri: Kill them all. Don’t let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls.

Me: how about no. Kids, don’t do that.

(later) Dimitri: I will search for survivors

Me: Yeah the ones you didn’t kill

The more I learn about Dimitri’s childhood the more I’m like what the hell is wrong with Faergus??? The lifting rocks makes sense because Dimitri is ridiculous strong, but having a kid run all night in heavy armor, or waking an 11 year old up in the middle of the night and having them catch deer. ????? Also Flayn’s cooking and Dimitri’s taste buds are a good match.  “Look at that young maiden wielding a giant lance. How adorable!” I mean that does sound pretty adorable actually.

Sometimes I think about how the officer’s academy is run as an institution and then I get a headache. The player character students we have number around 25 but you see npcs everywhere around garreg mach and there’s enough of them to fill a ball room. In talking to the students, a lot of them imply this is their first year at garreg mach which would imply that the officer’s academy’s course is 1 year long. This is also supported by the age range of the cast from 15 to 22 with most at 16-17 at the beginning of the year instead of having the younger and less experienced students at a different grade level. With a multigrade system unlikely though, how can we explain the number of students? There are 3 possibilities. First is that the class sizes are huge (conservative estimate is like 60/class, probably more based on cut scene estimates) with full day lecture classes. second is that there are only half day classes with half the students in morning class and the other half in afternoon class. Third is that there are actually more professors than shown.

The Central and Western Churches use the exact same rhetoric as shown in the Ashe-Catherine and Flayn-Seteth paralogues. We are divine and just and you are all heathens and sinners. Goddess this Goddess that. And both of them claim justifications for invasions under this rhetoric. Oh its not that you are politically inconvenient to me its that the Goddess says you are evil and I can’t argue with the Goddess so I have a moral obligation to strike you down. I wonder how many of them are actually delusional religious and how many are just using it as an excuse/cover.

I was thinking star or sun for claude because despite/because of everything he's an idealist. Like the sun guy in p3 akainori??? He take all that pain and tries to make the world a better placeInstead of a picture book though claude tries to revolutionize the worldAhhhhh I love this. theres so many narrative you can pull from these types of thingsDevil is like struggling with vice. Hubert's character arc deals withhis trouble connecting with people, his loyalty to edelgard, and what he has to do. Maybe justice? Rationality, jusgement, and themes of what is justice. Especially his convo with Hanneman that calls into question the execution of his fatherSeteth is probably hierophant as he's that one strict follow the rule book teacher we'vr all had. He also repeRepresents the chuch, authority, and the establishment (initially)Mercedes is a nurturing motherly type person with fits empress well. I take back the priestess statement from earlier. I think mercedes struggles are more external than internal (priestess is like more personal relationshio to spirituality and intuition). Wheel of fortune is an option? ?? Mercedes was born with a crest the her house fell and her step dad only wanted her mom for thr lamine crest. Then the church. then her adoptive dad wanting her for political gain theb the academy. A lot has been outside her control. Byleth is another good option for obvious reasons Edelgard is another good one given what happened in her childhood. If thing had been different she would be living a different life. Emperor could be another good one fore her since its about imposing your will on your surroundings

Dimitri’s stupid. I mean he’s using reasoning, but he’s jumping to conclusions when equally or more probable options are still there. I wouldn’t exactly believe Edelgard’s words either, but its clear Flame Emperor and TWSITD have their own separate agendas. Dimitrii’s  “edelgard is the root of all my sufferings” is like the same reasoning as edelgards “the church and its systems are the root of all suffering in Fodlan” but worse, at least Edelgard is half right.

Its honestly disturbing how willing Dedue is to erasing his autonomy and personhood.

timeskip time~ JP dimitri speech tone is much more calm it makes the dissonance with what he is saying all the weirder. He just making up excuses for his bloodlust now. “they” are “evil” so its ok to slaughter them. also yay monarchists, is gilbert actually relevant in this route???. Fleche and Randolf are actually relevant in this route???? I really hate Faergus. why are all of you following dimitri on his suicide run. why would you let the man clearly not in a good mental place decide the course of the army????

ch14: I mean getting ready to torture someone is one thing. but actually threatening me? You’re on my shitlist dimitri. Boy. You dare threaten me.

Woooowww its like watching a bunch of lemming run off a cliff

Rodrigue gets a bad rap in fandom because its true he’s not a great dad, but I don’t think he’s rock bottom either. He and Felix have different world views and he just has no idea how to deal with Felix. I’d be quite funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Dimitri doesn't have a rational bone in his body

In other news I'm getting kind of annoyed at everyone in azure moon.  Like heyyy maybe monarchy is a bad idea???

I read an interesting thought on why the prologue happened the way it did.  tldr: smear tactic against the church. It'd look bad if bandits even got close to the nation's heirs. And even worse if they got injured or killed. If one of them died, edelgard could get an advantage

hot take: Claude is naive in the same way Griffith is naive

another hot take: Claude is Buddha. or maybe Claude AS Buddha. Specifically the birth prophecy thing of kingdom vs all of time space

oh to clarify its about how Claude wants to change not only Fodlan and Almyra but the whole world. The Buddha thing is that there was a prophecy that he would either be an excellent king or like a spiritual leader whose teachings would echo through time around the world. so I want an AU

me finding out about dorothea's and mercedes backstories: who do I have to kill

Its implied in the hanneman supports that hubert’s dad might have been a part of the insurrection to protect hubert

I was imagining Ferdinand and Sylvain interacting and Sylvain probably hates Ferdie's guts and then in got dark first Ferdinand dislikes nobles that aren't noble so he'd probably disapprove. sylvain would see sheltered ferdinand and want to make him suffer as he has. not to mention Ferdinand ... always looks forward, he's always trying to improve himself and I can see sylvain resenting that and himself. on the flip side both hold the chavalier position in their house, and they both appreciate the fine arts. like ferdinand is out here being an obnoxious good boy championing everything sylvain hates

me looking at all the dudes Mercedes can A support: none of you deserve her. what are you bringing HER in this relationship

the only thing i likea about faerhgus is their flag. which is just so aesthetically pleasing

petra and edelgard are foils for each other.  they are princesses from opposite sides of a past war.  both are dedicated to their nations and seek to become the person their country deserves.  both are very driven.  each was for a period of their life removed from their home country.  but their positions are very different from one another.  edelgard and petra also have a low key friendly rivalry where they motivate each other to strive for more. they should have had an A support

I've been avoiding jeritza because his character concept seems like an edgier dimitri. So I'm just here to say i like his deaign. Partly covered face + long hair? Its like the devs are out for me by pairing that with a personality I don't get along with

Unpopular opinion but ignatz's part 2 haircut is super cute

i know someone here was plotting out a persona 5 cross over, but the more I think of it, dimitri belongs in persona 4.  that game's all about facing the parts of your personality that you don't want anyone else to see.  I mean feral dimitri is basically his shadow, that part of him that he rejects

A supports/total supports Claude: 10/13 Sylvain 4/16 So here's a comparison of how their trust issues affect their relationships. Claude might be incredible closed off and even in his A supports, still be with holding important information, but given enough time he can still potentially bond with a great number of people. While on the other hand Sylvain has destroyed his ability to form meaningful connections with people, so half of his A supports are people he already has a bond with. Sylvain is a bitter resentful boy and its getting in the way of his life. oh those supports are excluding byleths

Sylvain is deliberately stupid which makes him the true idiot here

i've been wondering, does dimitri's super strength randomly activate or is he like that all the time

Dimitri and sylvain. When 1+1=0

Chess club edelgard, hubert, sylvain, claude

Edelgard assumes there will be costs and doesn't try to find a way around it. That sort of glory in being killed is faerghus' thing

I really wish I could expierence the game in its full state. What we have in yhis reality is like a shadow of what it could have been.  I just want cf and vw to be their complete, best selves. Of all the routes, AM was written first and the only one that was completed and reached its full potential. VW and SS feel like half a route with of the other routes patched in to fill the gaps.  all of byleths lines in VW are suspiciously about rhea.  In some of the cutscenes theres graphical errors where the soldiers are wearing chuch colors instead of alliance.  Some parts of VW were clearing written fot SS and shoved in last minute.  Like the Edelgard scene. That scene makes mire sense in SS where byleth was her house leader, but not as much is VW where you barely talk to her. which is a shame because that’s one of my favorites.  Byleth's lines make sense in SS which is about rhea and saving the churcv but not in VW which is about whats really happening and Claude.  The same of course applies to SS, where seteth just says Claude's lines, and its so weird. And yet VW and CF are the strongest conceptually for me (or at least tickle my personal preferences). I also don't think any route should be seen in the absence of the others. Its is all 4 route together that show what the game is about. Focusing in on any one route is an incomplete picture.  Verdant Wind was so good and yet it could have been so much better.  That gap between the potential and the actual both angers and saddens me.  Also VW is the most big picture of all the routes. Instead of diving in, it takes a step back for perspective. You can see the war as a whole instead of just what's happenibg with faergus or adrestia. You see what's actually happening. That its not adrestria vs faregus but  the remnants of an ancient war still affecting modern politics from the dominance of the churcv to the agarthans who gave been stirring up shit for centuries.  Despite all its flaws Verdant Wind is also my favorite. Its not better than the other routes... but its spirit managed to reach my crusty old heart. Its like an ugly puppy. I just see all the places it could be better... (gronder field, and that ending??)

Hanneman legit reminds me of some of my professors. Well intentioned very nice people who are just incredible nerdy. A cute old man.

for all that many of Petra's ending end up in Nuvelle, its not actually all that close to Brigid. Seems like a mistake to me

claude badgering seteth to help him with his translations of old books

also its nice that 3h does not have the male as default thing and there are female background characters. Watching the starwars movies its weird that like every mook is male

dorothea and leonie co-chair the  let's-eat-the-nobles club.  claude and petra are both like fodlan nobles are weird and helpless with goofy dances

Ingrid and raphael competing at an eating competition.  Lysithea joins in because she wants cake

I have been overcome with the sudden urge to bully sylvain.  I want to see him make the sad pouty face

ferdinand is a good boy

I like to think that Agartha while progressing in some aspects, has also lost a lot of their technology in that they can still use it but no longer understand how it works

I want  more ignatz supports. I can see him bonding with ferdinand and dimitri strangely enough

Also claude and linhardt and claude competing for who can turn their room into a library first is so great

Again... still wondering what the climate and biogeography look like. Tall trees tend to be in wet temperate with good soil.  We knoe faerhgus is cold but not how cold.  All we know is that duscur ans sreng are cold and arid/semi arid.  We'd need some interesting wind patterns for fodlan to be temperate. If the northern coast is arid. The only way the interior is temperate is if wind is goinf north to south and gwtring trapped by tje central mountain range.  I dont think garreg mach is up in the himalayas

Sothis poorly grandmafriending byleth. Excellent

Playing AM and wow I forgot how much I want to punch dimitri I just want to off gilbert

I watched one of gilbert and annetes supports and wow I want to beat him into the ground all over again. Gilbert doesnt deserve a family

Ahhhh why did I play azure moon again. I'm stuck with gilbert the rest of the route!

i got a birthday letter from gilbert... i dun wan it

Linhardt really just does not care. Not about your "traditions"  or "laws". He only sort starts caring about "morals" after remire

Count Dominic: i have made the perfect crest bearing knight's daughter Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. look at her. she's got anxiety. Me: prepare for pain.

Time to go beat up annettes uncle for giving her anxiety.  now I know where annettes fear of failure comes from... Annette deserves so much better

Sothis really is that gremlin living in the attic

I cant believe the reason dimitri made it past gronder was that his actions were so insane that so one could plan for them

I didn't expect ashe to be my mvp this time round... but he is.  Byleth and dimitri both have good strength but are squishy. Ashe's range is insane. He gets that skill that expands range + longbow + deadeye + horse + ring. And if thats not enough canto gets him back out of range. He crits on every other hit and has like a 60% crit rate with a killer bow. He kills everything in one turn. Armor units? Magic bow. Anything else he doubles and crits.

Alao update on the cornelia conspirqcy theory: busted

She just built firdiad a functioning sewer system

Back onto the debunking of the cornelia conspiracy theory  yeah she totally got replaced

Why am I playing azure moon.... I miss Claude

So the derdriu chapter in AM.... claude isnt as heartbroken aa in CF but he's not in a good place. I think he's mourning/coping with loss (the loss of possibilites, future, what could have been etc.) just like he was in CF. It also makea me think he's planning on invading fodlan in the future. I will need to think over this.

Gautier territory is a cold steppe and known for their horse breeding. Those hairy horses have to come from somewhere

Interestingly dimitri is 3/10 strongest in the army despite being a couple levels higher than everyone. So much for that Blaiddyd strength

Flayn is scared of being forgotten isn't she

Sylvain really takes care of dimitri huh

ahhh yeess claude in a poofy sleeved white shirt

Literally dimitri: no i dont "need rest". I have a headache but thats just from lack of sleep

Rodrigue and lambert ditching class getting high on the monastary roof

Faerhgus really is one giant death cult huh

Oh wow ingrid is like unhitable. High speed + evasion ring + avo+10 +alert stance+ + defiant avo

A-after many years I have finally finished azure moon... I think part of why I don't like azure moon is that it wasn't able to sell me on the rightful king narrative. And I CAN be sold on that as both Tolkien and Claude prove. That and the continued existence of gilbert. My loathing for that man is beyond expression

[briteboy]

MORE ASKS I’VE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!

GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT

P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCH 

Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him

some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares he’s in jail forever now good riddance ugly

I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"

OMFGFD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND I’M LAUGHIN

i don’t blame u i bet when it happens i’m gonna be like “u know she ded”

(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)

i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah that’s......nah

it’s ok get it outta ur system i’m here 4 u

the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|

OMG WHA LMAO REALLY that’s wild. i feel like i’m the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all

hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?

HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo i’ve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so there’s one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know that’s the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that you’ve never considered before and i bet you’ll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results. 

i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.

an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.

SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. i’m glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and i’m cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok

everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip

OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and i’ve seen them perform twice actually!! i’m watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry

thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx

i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily

OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you don’t sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, you’re too sweet, thank you ;-; i’m just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW that’s true love. ily ;-; <333

how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(

tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-to’s are @helgatisha‘s poses lol. they’re the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my sims’ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, you’d be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.

Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!

hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and i’m sorry it got some negative attention, i didn’t mean for that to happen by any means) anyway don’t sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didn’t make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. it’s just a hard question y’know. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise it’s not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily

How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it

boop

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN

WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING

how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?

uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if that’s what you mean aheh. here’s a guide on how to use custom page themes

okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg

TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! it’s not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally

If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.

YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece o’ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if they’re that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.

There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !

I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.

OMFG...that’s how u know the pain is real

but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...that’s real...that’s real my guy

omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333

yaaaa i’ve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe he’ll revisit it again someday and i’ll watch him do it (i’m only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3

I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE

WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho don’t worship false gods

Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?

UM YES LMAO because i didn’t even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao i’m...a noob. i don’t want separate saves anyway because 1) it’s too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and i’d be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah there’s three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santi’s name is literally just Lil Santi)

I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? 😂 Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad

I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens

“okay cool” UM PLEASE that’s a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily

[boydie-boo-boo-blog]

My Beautiful Family

Morning, so if you read my blog yesterday you will see that i promised to do a blog on my family, im going to try to keep it to a minimum or I'd have a mile long post, but i guess the first person to start off with is my mam, i call her my omma, since im studing korean, but i think omma sounds so cute and she loves it to. I know everyone says this and its so clique but i honesty have the best omma ever, i can't imagine life with out her, shes my isperation and my hero, i don't think I'd be who i am to day with out her, every time i see her i want to sqeeze her shes a total babe man, i'd go on and on forever about my mam but like i said i try to keep things to a minimum. Next up my dad, now even though my dad is super camp he is super straight hahah, my dad is the person in the family we all like to tease and the best thing is he can take it because he has a wicked sense of humour, he can make anyone laugh, i guess thats why im so funny because both my parents are. So when i was 2 my parents got divorced, and a quote i live on is When there is a negitve always find a possitive, the possitve is i got an amazing step dad, amazing step mom and 2 beatiful sisters, 3 other siblins and my step moms and step dads family are Precious but i will get to that. My step dad, but i call him dad, yep i have to dads, but my step dad is married to my mam even though i mentioned my real dad was camp hahah, but my step dad isnt hes a mans man, hes very tuff and strong he gives me tuff kind of love but he loves me thats why i call him dad, most kids who have step dads/mams call them by their first name, but this man raised me and like my mam i couldnt picture life without him. Next my beautiful step mam, diane, i do call her diane, but i only met her when i was 10 so i wasnt quite sure what to call her so i just called her by her first name, but now shes been in my life for so long now im going to have to start calling her mam, I'll rephrase that not have to, i want to. Im guess im luck that i have to sets of parents that love me and i love them back. Next my siblins i have 2 sisters Emily and amber both diffrent but both bonkers, like their big sister is haha, our realshionship is like no other we are their for each other, we love each other and thats the way its supposed to be because sisters are friends for life, i think emilys turning into a little me which os scary hahha but she dosnt like hugs, i love hugs and so dose amber i guess thats when ever we see each other we always cling to each other like magnets aw i love them so much, then i have a step sister who has 3 beatiful daughters, a step brother with an adorable little boy and another on the way and he has a beautiful fiancée, and a step brother who i dont get on with but lile i said with a negitve find a possitive and the possitive is i got a goeorgous god daughter. So lets talk about my step parents family, on my step dads side i have 2 uncles and 1 auntie and god knows how many cousin's, on my step mams side i have 4 auties and 3 uncles, but Autie helen and uncle George are my favorite on that side shush dont tell anyone, the reason this is these people are the most kindest and funniest people i know, my uncle George is always boosting my spirt, i remember his saying the man that ends up with you will be a lucky man, because you are beautiful and have heart like a lion, them words stuck with me ever since and when i feel lonly because im single or of my self esteem is down i think about these words, i also remember something auntie helen said we were standing outside at my dads and step mams wedding, and i said to her well it offical your now my auntie, and she said no darlin i have always been your auntie it dosnt need a marrige to tell you that, im so lucky to have a huge family that loves me. I guess i cant forget the elders, the elders that still remain are my nanna and granda on my dads side, nanna on my step mams side and grandma on my mams side, i dont really see my nanna and granda much but theres somethings ive learnt about ive inherited things off my nanna like i have weird dreams about people i havnt even met, my nannas pyschic so she thinks its something to do with that, we both like to travel and write songs to, my nanna on my step mams side is hilarious, one thing i love is when the grandchildren do something wrong she just taps them and gose stop that but if the parents do something she wacks them or launches something of them eeee its so funny, one week i was cheeky so she tapped me on the arm me and my sisters giggled at each other and my dad said something cheeky in the same night and she through her slipper of him eeeee what a howl 😂😂😂, last but not least, my grandma, my grandma is mental if you tell her that she says no im perfectly sane i have a certificate to prove it and i always say aye but how olds that hahah shes a little buggur but i love her i guess i wouldnt have her any other ways. Yes i have a huge family but i love them all very much, thanks for reading my other fam, tomorrow i think it be nice to do a memorial to my family that are no longer well they are in spirt and in our hearts, lots of love from Boydie xxx