#My weakness for sad backstories and cute boys returns to make me cry over another silver haired boy

[drag0nalias0]

Wasn't expecting a trash isekai with an op protagonist anime to make me start to almost cry today but hey ho.

It seems that my weakness for cute villains with sad backstories has struck again.

Atl least Toma didnt die like i thought he was going to, unlike Rui and Destra. (Although the second season of Fruit of Evolution was horrible and deviated from the light novel in the worst way. He didnt even die, from what i remember, in the light novel. But i was yelling the whole season for the poor boy to get a hug and at least he got that. Untill he killed hisself)

[jae-daddy]

Holic (how it would’ve continued)

Holic l masterlist

the first part is backstory, and then the next part is breif summaries of how the chapters would’ve gone. Hope y’all enjoy it <3

not edited 

one:

The first thing we need to understand is the character. For me, she was broken. The cliche of rich parents who don’t have time for their kid was one of the main shaping tools for her. I can’t remember if its obvious or not, but y/n was kidnapped when she was younger, and none of her own family members had noticed. Instead, it was her maid, who she was close to, but her parents fired her after some time. So, most of her childhood she felt unloved. 

Also, she was kidnapped when she was in her teens. The timeline is a bit fucked, cause I didn’t plan well so, god bless lol. But she gets kidnapped, and it was a hard and traumatic experience for her. She wasn’t even given the opportunity to express that experience because it was just swept under the rug. A few days after she had returned, her parents continued to celebrate her sister’s birthday. Which isn’t a bad thing, but she spends it in her room, crying, and no one comes to check up on her. 

A few months later Jaebum and her meet at the ball, and she tells him that she doesn’t like him. She was just protecting herself.

The main characteristic about her is that she’s always trying to protect someone or something. She married Jaebum to protect the honour of their families, then she tells Jaebum not to do anything that will ruin their image in front of the public, and to respect her. And then, when she finds her hoe sister, she tries to protect her after knowing it was their mother forcing her to go through with the wedding when she was in love and pregnant with someone else’s baby. 

But mostly, she was protective of herself. She didn’t want to seem weak or show any vulnerability. She keeps on saying it's so people can’t use it against her, but its actually just so she doesn’t get hurt. She doesn’t want to get her expectations up. She doesn’t want to imagine, she doesn’t want to wonder or trust another human with her emotions and feelings because it never worked for her since she was a kid. 

so the future story would’ve gone:

y/n would’ve gotten pretty for the date with Jaebum, but her secretary brings photos of Jaebum and his secretary doing the dirty at the office. The outfit that Jaebum is wearing is the coat that she split milk on by mistake that one night. It was new, and then it was ruined so that was the only time he wore it after they were married, after she had asked him not to do anything stupid, after he had been nice to her, and before he did all this, and claimed to be in love with her, he was fucking his secretary. 

y/n thought she needed some time to collect herself, so she cancelled the date, and moved out. After like a week Jaebum and her go to a party. And this chapter would’ve been from Jaebum’s point of view. y/n would’ve been ignoring him and pretending like he didn’t exist. But she was still being civil and acting to be in love when someone came by, especially this old couple who they needed to finance their new business plan. So while y/n is trying to control her anger, and not rip Jaebum’s head off. Jaebum is completely oblivious to this and in his mind, he just thinks of how much he loves her. He looks at her and all he sees is beauty and an angel. He looks at her as she speaks to people, as she laughs, as she stands, the slope of her neck, her eyes and everything about her makes him feel like that kid back at the balcony of her parents anniversary. He was in love with her since then. It was her red heels that broke his heart and made him cold to everyone. And it was her that was laughing at him for having a red heel fetish. It wasn’t the fetish, it was the memory of her breaking his heart in two, and the necklace he had gotten for her the same fate that night. As he is looking at her, the old man says that love like her comes only once and to hold on to her. Jaebum already knew that. He knew it from the moment that she had walked away, he knew it when they walked down the alter. He knew it as she came and stood in front of him, her eyes dazed with intoxication from too many champagnes, her lips painted pink. He knew it, as he was still stuck where they had left off. He was in love with her. 

y/n wakes up at her house but finds that she is not alone. Jaebum is there waiting for you in the kitchen with oatmeals (your fav breakfast). You turn away from the dish and tell him to leave. He asks you what’s up, and you tell him to leave. Jaebum thinks you’re in a mood, and gives you a hug, chuckling and saying ‘okay, ill leave, you duckling. but have breakfast first.’ you push him away. You didn’t want to eat anything, you felt like vomiting. How could he say he loved you when he had been sticking his dick inside other girls. The thing that made it worse is that you didn’t know if this was still going on. If after every night that he held you close, he ran off in the morning into the arms of another and stuck his dick inside of them. You felt sick, hurt, but most of all stupid. Stupid for starting to fall into his trap, for letting go, for wanting to believe that what Jaebum and you had was real. that for one minute he had truly loved you. it was all just a mess now and you didn’t know what was right and wrong. You were hurt and so so so fucking angry, and the last thing you needed was Jaebum pretending to do whatever that he was doing. Jaebum reached out for you again but you pushed him. “Don't fucking come near me you asshole!” you sneered at him, your eyes raging. Jaebum didn’t understand what was going on, he looked sad. He was like baby what's wrong. You tried to walk away, but he pulled you back and asked you to tell him. So you were like fucking fine. You grabbed the envelope from the counter and dumped the photos onto the counter. Jaebum sees the photo and goes pale. You try not to cry and tell him “This was after our marriage. After that night at the party, this is what you were doing after sending me home. This was the night after our wedding Jaebum. Now, I know we don’t have any relationship like a husband and wife, but i just asked for one thing respect. I told you not to do anything stupid that could ruin this. Before you ask, I wasn’t spying on you. Some third-grade gossip journalist dropped this by my office. Next time you do something like this be careful. It isn’t just your life anymore.” Jaebum didn’t really have an explanation, because he did cheat on you, but that was the last time.  You leave the room and tell him to get out of your house. 

you knew what you were doing was wrong but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to hurt him, but more than that, you wanted to erase Jaebum. So. you hit up your old flame. Now, it was common knowledge that eventually (if your sister hadn’t run away) next in line would’ve been you and Jackson. You had known him since you were a kid, and he was like a friend more than anything else. But he was also very very attractive. And y’all sitting there having dinner at a restaurant, and then guess who walks in. That’s right Jaebum. And he is jealous. At first, you are too, seeing that pretty girl with him, but soon it doesn’t bother you cause he’s not even looking at her. All his attention is on you and Jackson. After a bit, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, and as you get out a man pulls you into the corner. You get scared and think you’ll keep on getting dragged away into a van, and then locked up in another dark room. But its just Jaebum, and you relax for a moment and hug him. You wanna cry, but you just hold him. Jaebum holds you tight and whispers “I miss you so much Y/n, please come back.” You snap back and push him away, and tell him to fuck off. He tells you that he’s sorry and that that night was the only time this happened, and it never happened after it and it will never happen again. He loves you, he told you. And you told him to go eat shit and started to walk away. He held your wrist and pulled you close to him. Your chest pressed against each other, as Jaebum pushed you against the wall and leaned forward. “You know, playing with boys like that won’t help. You can’t rid of me and what we have. You can’t go around fucking boys y/n” “I could say the same to you, but you’ve already been fucking other hoes, so I won't lose my breath over it. Let me go, and stay out of my life.” You and Jackson walk out, you sit in his car and tell him to drop you home. 

You get kidnapped. Jaebum saves you, because of special powers (special police) lol. You both cry and confess your love. You realise that while being scared of having love let you down or having your heart broken, or having it taken away; it's better to just love. so you forget and forgive and decide to live each day happy instead of safely. 

After months of therapy, and talking about your troubles you’re doing much better. You and Jaebum are going stronger than ever. And you both have such a cute boy. He’s like a taking no shit, don’t read me bullshit fairytales, but scared of clowns adorable little kid. Aww he’s so cute. And he brushes his hair to the side and tucks his shirt in, such a fucking cute boss nerd. And you both love this kid a lot, and you love each other a lot too. Even though it wasn’t the most romantic beginning to a love story, but as it was going right now it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because you loved him with all your heart hiding nothing and showing everything, and Jaebum doing the same. 

In the end, happy ending. I’m sorry I couldn’t finish this story. Maybe if i had planned it better it’d be easier lol. Sorry for plot holes or if i missed something. I had fun playing with story, and seeing all of y’all react to it. 

Thank you for all you love and support. 

[cheerisuu]

Im Back.

Boy, how time flies fast when you’re busy keeping things feel right. I mean, they’re supposed to be. I’m going to make this update as quick as i can and as precise as i can, bet i cant do both tho lmao.

It has been approximately 3 weeks since Rock Bottom (i guess it’s what you call it? Well, close.) and things has been quite, nice.

The month of July has really been a journey of what felt like forever. Today is the 12th of the month and i have come to the point where i realised that the mind is the only thing that keeps us from doing or achieveing something that we want. And this applies to a couple of situations:

I learned how to do a buck tuck.

This is one of the few things i achieved as i underwent through a “therapaeutic healing” after the incident. I surrounded myself with the few people that im friends with in our Pep Squad and fortunately my friend Dapitanon, P. also had a common friend which made our days more progressive. Just the act of cheering for each other to do one’s best really lifts everyone’s morale.

“It’s really all in the mind.”

We ARE physically capable of doing things but our mind seems to think that there’s an invisible obstacle that prevents us from pursuing what we want to achieve. I realise this as we were practicing for a back tuck, which i proudly achieved (with a spotter pa hehe). But that achievement was already some proof that if i can have control over my body, i can do all things if i just believe just enough to do it right. Heck, I think I’ll attach my tuck video somewhere on here.

1st of July.

We went to a dog cafe.

Idk what’s with me but i really like to do something special at least once a month with him and WITHOUT telling him. After all, I can’t just let myself be carried away with the emotions that lead me almost to the verge of thinking it was over, right? So despite our awkwardness and difference of treatment (slight), I still picked him up (with miraculously good timing too) with our Navara and was able to use it for the whole day before returning it back to my Granddad’s. Did i mention he got car sick? It was the cutest. (Am i weird for saying that? Doesn’t matter tho lmao) i thought of going to the dog cafe cause i was thinking, “Hey dogs can like help with your mental and emotional health right? So why the frick not.” Im surely going to post a little GIF here somewhere on how cute the doggos were. And when i tell you, dogs CAN bring the purest out of anyone. We literally were like talking to babies man and boy the dogs were HUUGE, only the pugs were like “hey hooman u can luv me unlyk diz oder bitchez” haha. But if ever things do go well for us in the future, we are DEFINITELY going to get a golden retriever man. It’s my dream!

Anyways, we also got to watch our first movie as “barkada pero gusto ang isat isa” or BPGAII, it was Toy Story 4. And bitch, dont get me started on how we were wondering if it was a child’s movie or not coz boi, we did NOT like the jump scares at ALL. But still, me being an emotional, soft potato, it still made me cry in the end. The meaning behind was great it was all about taking the risk, which was kind fitting? For him at least hekhek. Basically Woody chose to be with his hoe, Bo, for Buzz, his bro. But this aint no movie review so, *boop.

I gave him my skin care?

Ok tbh this was so random right. He realised my skin was glowing better (coz bitch, we aint lettin no sadness ruin this skin ya feel?) so he asked what was i using cos he was contemplating on his gorgeous face that he was getting ugly now. (The audacity, am i right?? Lol) so i CLEARLY (no pun intended) put into the effort of giving him some travel bottles and put in some samples of what moisturiser and micellar water i was using right, and i guess it worked out well? I also got to drive it TO him still. But the good side of this was i was able to be with my Granddad and spend some time together as his driver hihi.

LADY DRIVER.

So I’m getting good at this driving thing right, as driving from Malaybalay to Cagayan, Davao to Tagum and vice versa, Tagum to Maco and back. So i might as well be good at city driving and yall cant tell me otherwise lol,

(SIDENOTE:except for the fact i got stopped by the Yellow Ranger in Ecoland coz i was at the left lane at a traffic light and my mom told me to go straight WHICH WAS WRONG I GUESS THATS A THING RIGHT, so i was almost charged 1500 pesoses. But thank Heezuz i was with my mom and she was able to talk through the officer but sadly we had to name drop my Granddad since he was a known regional director at LTO before. Sorry Pops, i swear it’ll be the first and last time.)

Back to real time, i helped him with his errands and was really lucky with the timing coz my Dad went off for a trip and my mom was left with his car. So yup, got the chance to borrow it for half of the day and drove all the way to Maa to get a keyboard his friend is letting him use for the mean time, her name is Jen and she’s the sweetest. (No backstory will be dropped for privacy). Aight, so we drove back to their house at Magallanes but didn’t have enough time to say hi to his folks coz it was noon and they were on siyestas, right. I still regret why i didnt like fake-pee or something tho. HahahahahahahDONTJUDGE. We ate for some late lunch at SML and felt korek coz before we joke about “asa ta nag park?” And now we get to be in the situation haha. It’s funny coz just when i thought things were detoriating between us, the world just chooses to keep things tight and close and say something like “oh, u guys are having an emotional conflict and struggle about ur relationship? Here are things that only REAL couples do and i hope u enjoy em!!” Dumbass. Jokes aside, I drove him home and goodbyes are still awkward, but i was starting to understand the type of ‘low-key’ he means.

Usapang Gym.

Oh wow it’s already the fifth point. If you manage to read this far, congrats! You get nothing but to keep on reading this rollercoaster wreck lmao. I wasn’t expecting he would pay the whole month at our gym and expects me to come with him. And it came to me: i kept on thinking that i should ask for assurance but in reality, he really does mean what he said about just being “me”. Things were different but things also got better. It’s like losing some and gaining some right? Like a body excrcising, losing weight, gaining muscle, idk its a weak analogy but its close enough for yall to understand. It’s our first week today, (it’s Friday) i hope i could keep up tho haha. I guess I’ll keep progress updated? Idkidkidk. Also, i got to mention thats he is VAIN af. Idk if its a good thing or just a tragedy waiting to happen haha. I also became his coach, (oha san kapa haha), he told me he wanted help with increasing his verticle as he would help me with abdominals. So i bought sets of ankle weights only to find out the first one didnt suit him so i had to buy another set. AND IT WAS HALF THE PRICE I BOUGHT THE FIRST SET AND IT WAS BETTER. Prices will be disclosed. (250) So i like, i do my own workout right and he suddenly shows his hot-headed side of things coz he was upset he had to go home early coz there was this no-towel-no-workout policy at my gym so we had to cut our day short.

In times like these, my mind just goes to places to different situations. All the what-ifs start filling up my mind on how he could react to other situations that would cause a similar effect on what his character was showing right. But in the end, i still give kudos to myself coz im able to keep up and cope with how quick his personality changes sometimes. And sometimes, im the one with a crack on the head lmao. Well, most of the time.

TAKE AWAYS.

Fast forward to this very moment, its 11:30 in the evening and im recalling all of this on a positive note. Today was an addition to a great day we had as a rest day from gym. We watched Spiderman: Far From Home and i guess its now my current favorite and HAD to watch it twice.

Speaking of Twice, bruh i want to do a dance cover so bad of #Fancy or #YesOrYes coz i been itching and the choreo is sooo goood! Not to mention Twice was in Manila last 29th of June. *sighs in broke* but i cant say it was the best concert from them coz there were complications like Jungyeon had a sty and was wearing an eye patch the whole concert, Dahyun got sick after along with Mina who wont be attending the 2019 Twicelights Worldtour because she gets anxiety attacks and feels insecure about performing on stage suddenly. I mean i know you got no idea what im talking about but its just sad to think of the fact that even someone so adored by many people, someone who has great physical, social and emotional support, can still feel the lack of these mentally. And if you’re one of those people who feels anxious about anything? I hope you get well soon and i hope you find the true meaning of your purpose in this simulation, because you are not alone. x

In addition to almost wrapping this up, i also treated myself again something from Adidas (coz again, bitch, if no man gon treat me i gon treat myself! HAHA!) which i later on realise i now own 3 bags from there and thinking to get a fourth one....someone help me¿ i also have to mention i already treated myself about a week ago (🎶) by waxing my own axillae, grooming my own brows, a gorgeous lippie from Beauty Cottage called Elegant Impressionist shade #9 Byzantine for half its original price haha, nothing beats fishing me through a sale. Speaking of treat, my Dad gave me my first pair of Tigers man and i cant help but tell yall its the same pair that the He wanted and it totally pissed him off that i got the pair he wanted first so bad and now he doesn’t know what to do coz he’s afraid if we have the same pair we might wear it at the same time and it would be cringy and weird (now for normal people that would sound cute right, matching kicks and all. But no. Not in this lifetime.), since im just blabbering of how im spoiling myself might as well end it here folks.

Guess I’ll keep you updated on how stuff might go on from now since class is fast approaching. Tomorrow I guess I’ll be attending a send-off party for our friend she’s going to the U.S soon. Oh, did i mention the re-run for Endgame is out? 🤔