#Mystery Blorbo

[icharchivist]

so little insanity moment i hope you'll excuse me a sec, related to Mystery Blorbo.

so yesterday i had a Icha Insanity Level 10 Moment where i kinda spiraled down crying and all about Mystery Blorbo literally all day that led me, as one does, to spam my bestie who knows about them 30 messages including at least 3 different homemade memes i've made about them, while i also collected various pictures again of Mystery Blorbo.

And, as a normal person does, i realized i could make a collage of the pictures i had in my files about them and put it on my wall.

so i start selecting which pictures i want to print in a word document (it takes 22 pages, i put multiple pictures by pages tho) and then look for my Blu-Tack (? google translation says it's how you say it the paste that fixes papers on wall) but i can't find it for the life of mine.

so i figure my masterplan has to wait, and ideally, while i go buy some Blu-Tack to a stationary store, i might as well use their printers to print pictures bc my own is bad with colors in general.

except as one does, it obviously haunts me all night, and i wake up uneased thinking i need to at least find the Blu-Tack today. Plus i need to do some restock on meds and grocery shopping anyway.

I prepare myself to go, and since my family just decided to annoy me today, i needed some comfort and i put my little custom made Mystery Blorbo plush in my bag to accompany me, but then i realize it's Sunday, and on top of that, a holiday, so the majority of stores are closed.

I figure my plans have to wait tomorrow. But for some reasons, i'm in full state of unrest. I can't focus on anything i just want to go hunt for it.

So i figure, screw it for the stationary shop, i can find some Blu-Tack on some hyperstore, and a couple of them are still opened today (ironically, not the one closest to my home that i would have gone to otherwise, so i have to look for an unusual store for it). So here starts my quest for it.

I blast my Mystery Blorbo's playlist in my ears (as i always do), and i go out full of Mystery Blorbo's thoughts in the quest of Blu-Tack so i can hang Mystery Blorbo's pictures in my living room.

First store i go to, where the Blu-Tack is next to cooking objects, they ran out of Blu-Tack. Shame.

I decide not to give up though and start going through more stores. 2nd Store i go, where the item is near the bathroom supplies? no luck either.

I think about going to a 3rd store at the opposite of the city, because one of the other bigger store i could go to is usually closed on Sunday. But, while i'm way underway, halfway between the store i disregarded and the store i was going to, i have a slight moment of "but i should check if it's REALLY closed though", and turns my feet around to check that store.

what i didn't consider is that today being a holiday where we usually consume a specific cake -- the store in question was actually opened. to sell emergency cakes.

When i go to this store, i usually go to the floor with food on it, so i never linger on parts of the store with utility objects, which is two floors above. but i know my way to it, and i move up.

And so i move to the Blu-Tack corner. Which is, unlike every place i've been before, in a corner with various hobbies related things surrounding the aisle.

and legit just next to it, there's an item i can't enter into details about --- related to Mystery Blorbo, that has no business being here, that i legit ALMOST BOUGHT ONLINE TWO WEEKS AGO. AND THEN I DIDNT. BECAUSE I THOUGHT HAVING IT DELIVERED HERE WOULD BE A PAIN. and also the one store i found it on wasn't really trustworthy.

literally JUST NEXT to the Blu-Tack. JUST next to it. Like ONE STEP away of distance from it. I could see it from standing in front of the Blu-Tack.

And i'm trying to keep it vague because the less you know about it the better for me (don't try to guess please), but it's not something i expected to find here. Like, it's not from something i'd expect to find easily in stores. And the item in question is also supposed to be pretty niche and only found in very specific stores, but this specific version was not on shelves last time i checked because it wasn't popular even in its niche.

I had a demented plan of making a collage of Mystery Blorbo, then had a nice so full of unrest i remade my whole plan, improvised because today everything is closed and nothing should have been doable, went to stores where i wouldn't have found the item that happened to have ran out of Blu-Tack, thought about going to a store THAT IS USUALLY CLOSED on Sunday and is only opened for the holiday, on an aisle i don't even usually come CLOSE to, to find the fucking Blu-Tack that started my journey, all that while blasting my Mystery Blorbo songs and holding my Mystery Blorbo plush in my bag, and it's at the end of this absolutely insane journey i found an item i've been CONVEYING that i was told wouldn't be found on here because it's too niche to be there, RIGHT. HERE.

Am i insane or is this insane. Like i remind you the whole thing with Mystery Blorbo is that they first started appearing in my dreams out of nowhere, haunting me, giving me legit fever dreams when i didn't buy something about them i found so much so i almost sleptwalk my way into going to buy it 4 TIMES in the same night, that i learnt they've showed up multiple times in the last decade of my life at various moments that made me curious in them but not enough to get into their stuff, that i had actual magazines full of articles that talked about him at my mom's place, hell pretty recently i also found times in my childhood (very early) where i almost got into something adjacent to it (my bestie says it counts because when i recalled the details she was crying laughing at how specific it was), also while i happen to own stuff related to the motif linked to this character from waayy before that, and much more things i can't even start to point out to lest i remove the mystery all together---

And then after another unrestful night thinking about them and making insane plans about them, which i was supposed to postpone but was too unrestful to postpone, i fucking find. This thing. in the most crazy level of circumstances there is.

also another layer is that i've been talking about the item to my bestie and was lamenting how more expensive it was online (esp with delivery fees) than in store, and my bestie, bless her soul, had had plans to find it for me ------- but she couldn't find it anywhere online. (like i tried to dissuade her but she's too sweet)

(small explanation to friend about my reasons for finding it)

(the typos are kept for autenticity as i was in a hurry, on my phone, and also genuinely shaking)

so long story short i'm adding this to the list of "i think Mystery Blorbo is haunting me because this is not normal" that keeps growing every single day. i feel ill.

[zhukzucraft]

it's Sherlock Stress and Dr Watskall

[lunarriviera]

Big Dumb Hot Cop & Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant: A Manifesto

So it has recently come to my attention that this, my archetypal pairing formulation, has broken containment, probably because I've been flinging these terms around like a deranged person wielding a blunt instrument. Therefore it behooves me to explain what the hell I mean by all these adjectives, and who are some classic and contemporary examples of the idiots under discussion—who are by the way extremely in love with one another whether they realize it or not. (Don't you say "bromance." Don't you dare SAY that word to me.) I will use blorbo from my shows to illustrate.

I first realized that I am in fact a Big Dumb Hot Cop whisperer thanks to Chinese police procedural 猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin (2022). Right away, it's very important to note that Big Dumb Hot Cop is NOT in fact all that dumb. He's only less intelligent IN COMPARISON to his Effete Slightly Sociopathic Genius Consultant, who is, as already stated, a genius. Big Dumb Hot Cop is in fact ruthlessly good at his job. He's driven, he obsesses about cases, he can walk into a crime scene and pick up on the one thing everyone else has missed. There is no suspect he cannot intimidate upon investigation. And he's even better when he's working with (or against, depending on what stage they're at) the genius consultant. They need each other, whether they're fighting or collaborating. They can only clear cases together.

Here are, then, police captain Du Cheng and his genius consultant, sketch artist Shen Yi, eyeing each other significantly as some witness is, I think, lying his face off? Honestly I can't even remember what's happening because the important thing here is their nonverbal communication. This is crucial for this pairing. They can think circles around each other without saying a word. Love that for them.

Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant has two levels of Possibly Sociopathic. Most maddeningly of all, he has secrets. Sometimes many secrets. So at first, Big Dumb Hot Cop is going to think he's the criminal, or in some way involved in the wrongdoing. The second level is that he'll find Genius Consultant just worryingly, disturbingly good at predicting criminal behavior. And he will continue to be suspicious of him for exactly one or at most two episodes, until he's then swept off his big dumb feet by the rapidity and correctness of Effete Genius's deductions. There's nothing Big Dumb Hot Cop loves more than solving cases. Well, maybe beer. He also loves beer. Once he sees that Effete Consultant is useful, he'll do a 180º and stop complaining to his chief of police, and instead start demanding that Effete Consultant be his forever. He'll start hanging out in his office. He'll literally drag him to crime scenes by the wrist.

(And did I mention Effete Consultant must be very pretty? Did I mention that? He is lovely. Long, thin fingers to steeple while he thinks. Delicate features. Haunted dark eyes. Never sleeps. Shocking self-neglect. You may see where I am going with this.)

Another important attribute of Big Dumb Hot Cop: he's big. Or anyway strong, or a gifted fighter. Let's face it, he has to be, because Genius Consultant is going to be reckless with his own personal safety to the point of stupidity (now who's dumb, huh?). For example, consider another Chinese procedural, S.C.I. 谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (2018). Captain Bai Yutong is sort of impossibly physically talented (former fighter pilot! national sandu champion! runs over moving cars and then shoots at them, like some kind of weird urban biathlon!) and, like all good Big Dumb Hot Cops, his entire life is thrown upside down because he now has to drop everything to protect his effete consultant, criminal psychologist Dr. Zhan Yao, who's so careless with himself that in any another drama he would probably be driving Bai Yutong to drink. Thanks to the danmei on which SCI Mystery is based, however, we can safely assume Bai Yutong is taking it out on Zhan Yao in blow jobs.

Note that Bai Yutong is the cook, even though he's the gong, and that he moves in with Zhao Yan to "protect" him from...something, I can't ever remember what, and then just sort of forgets to move out again. For the length of the entire series.

I would argue that 镇魂 | Guardian (2018) is a procedural, even if it also has ghosts, a talking cat, snake lady, eerie dark energy that gets flung around like paintball splatters, and a whole bunch of other supernatural stuff that was not approved of by Big Red (it's based on a danmei of the same title by Priest, a novel which has been pulled from circulation for censorship). Further confusing matters, Zhao Yunlan isn't particularly Big or Dumb, nor is he even really a Cop, technically; but I'm claiming him for this genre not least because of his Effete (drop-dead gorgeous) Possibly Sociopathic (Chief Zhao thinks he's a suspect for a good third of the story) and Definitely Genius, Later Gangpressed into being a Consultant, chock-full of secrets Professor Shen Wei.

Once they finally team up, though, they do this genre/pairing proud. Why, there's nothing they can't solve except how to stay alive. Look at them here enjoying some fine nonverbal communication: "Oh my god, you're just like me—you too will fling yourself directly into bodily harm in order to save a clueless civilian. Okay this could be inconvenient for both of us. Also wow for a genetics professor you're really fucking built, do you lift my bro." (Yes. Yes he does lift.)

A final example: the cruelly short-lived 光渊 | Justice in the Dark (2023), which like Guardian is based on a danmei by Priest, 默读 | Silent Reading. I got baited into watching the eight (8) existing episodes by seeing a cut of Captain Luo Wenzhou taking on like forty guys with a champagne bottle, a pair of curtains, an axe handle, and a birthday cake, like some kind of cultivator. He's so big and hot, and he's so very dumb. He's also a cop, and ACAB (which is sort of the plot of Silent Reading); and Fei Du is possibly using him for his own nefarious ends (cf. possibly sociopathic and secretive). But underneath all of Fei Du's "I am the abyss, fear me, rawr!" scary posturing, like a puffed-up kitten, he's just a very pretty tender-hearted effete genius, and you can watch Luo Wenzhou melting, and practically pinpoint the exact moment when his whole heart flies out of his eyes and he decides: Yeah, okay, that's it for me. That one. The annoying little traumatized fuerdai with some kind of a death wish that I do not understand. I'll be throwing myself in front of bullets for him and/or cooking him dinner for the foreseeable future, thanks.

Priest is gonna mess with this dynamic of gong/shou caregiving and safeguarding, because that's what she does; but the fundamental beats are still there. Look at these ninnyhammers, just this second figuring out they're actually kind people who belong to each other.

Here they are confronting a suspect together. (You will notice the large butcher knife wavering in the foreground.) Luo Wenzhou, highly trained, nonetheless cannot de-escalate the situation. It takes a pretty playboy in an arm sling to come wandering into the room, and then, using his superb personal knowledge of what it's like to be traumatized to the point of insanity, getting the suspect to disarm. I just love the way they look at each other, incredulous (Luo Wenzhou) and mock-fascinated (Fei Du). If I ever meet the person who directed this scene I'm going to need to kiss them on the mouth.

Once you accept the gospel of Big Dumb Hot Cop and Effete Possibly Sociopathic Genius Consultant into your media-based life, you'll find it has many applications, not all of which have to be procedurals. Consider: characters from the Daomu Biji franchise, possibly (Hei Xiazi is the biggest dumbest hottest not-a-cop I've ever met). Leverage, in a weird OT3 way. Assorted combinations of Avengers. Teen Wolf fic, absolutely. Various Stargate incarnations. Several other Priest danmei, not only procedurals. Definitely Mysterious Lotus Casebook. Et cetera. (You're on your own with MXTX, though.)

This has gotten long and there are still so many nuances and features and wrinkles and problems with the theory that should be ironed out, but it'll have to do for now. I'll simply close by saying: yes, there is also a classic example and you already know exactly who it is.

[vinlynce]

my curse is that im constantly vibe checking characters for PMD aus and drawing them as an increasingly long list of pokemon

[qpjianghu]

–ocean vuong [x]

Li Lianhua | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[lyselkatz]

Seeing HúLíJing more plumpy than ever, HuaHua complained that XiâoBâo has spoiled her way too much during the months he disappeared on them she was in his care. Turns out she just had a secret life at Tianji Manor and was expecting puppies. (She's about 7 in this headcanon).

For some reasons, the puppies seem to love a-Fei the most. FDB is not vexed at all!! (He is just very a little jealous)

Edit: Oops! Oops I was too focused on how I wanted the puppy in a-Fei's collar that realised too late that it's tied on the wrong side! Too late for the reblogs already out there! 😅

...☕?/commission

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

(ps very terribly sorry about posting a busted version of this earlier. Whoops)

[murderedbyhomework]

I've definitely said this somewhere but:

If Li Xiangyi was the sun (blinding, bright, golden, full of light and life but painful to look at for too long, unattainable) then Li Lianhua was the moon (still bright but you can look at it for a very long time, always changing and impossible to pin down, scarred and damaged visibly but all the more beautiful for it, seemingly less remarkable and softer than the sun so it deludes you into thinking you can reach out and touch it but in the end it's still as unattainable and unreachable as the sun).

[jackyjackdraws]

Going back into drawing more with these two

[brainyrot]

Goth gf

[mykeyboardistryingtokillme]

live by the pale die by the pale

[icharchivist]

hey remember when i left those tags on that post?

i still don’t want to talk about what the work of fiction is but i legit just got reminded today that while it’s been like over 15 years that i did want to check this thing, the character that “caught my interest like 7 years ago” actually caught my interest 12 years ago. As in, there was a specific moment in time when i wanted to get into it because i learnt about the character in question.

i’ve been in hysterics for the past ten minutes because i’m realizing it’s been over a decade that once in a while i had humored starting this thing, and that while it definitely started out of another place, it’s been 12 years that steadily it was because this character was standing out to me enough that i wanted to get into it, but then forgot all about it, and now i’m out there actually getting into it after a *dream that came out of nowhere about this chara popping up while i haven’t thought of them in years* and i’m just. 

bestfriendo is making fun of me because “this is the most slowburn in all of history of fav characters” and i’m screaming into my hands, imagine considering getting into something for OVER A DECADE while constantly one character keeps standing out for you and eventually you just get a dream out of nowhere of this chara like a sudden “hey. I’ve been sending you messages about it for the past decade why the fuck are you leaving me on read” and now you’re not only forced to pay attention but also forced to realize YOU COULD HAVE STARTED ALL OF THAT OVER TEN YEARS AGO i’m feeling so unwell.

[rosielav]

Rosie's Favorite (currently finished/caught up) Podcasts:

The Amelia Project - silly, quirky, morbid but almost always more jaunty and eccentric than completely dark. Great for anyone who loves 'narrator' or interview type podcasts. If I'm not mistaken, I've posted some of my thoughts on here using the pod's hashtag.

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbitity, and Mortality - another narrator type podcast, and probably my favorite of all time. The main voice you hear is perfect imo and keeps you engaged in all the right ways, bringing tension where it's needed, and levity where it's funny or odd. Absolutely consumed this podcast with a voraciousness I haven't felt for a bit. Keeps you guessing and always wanting more from every exhibit.

Victoriocity - excellent voice acting, interesting and unique premise and setting, and great plot. One of the podcasts I'm most looking forward to returning :) think steam punk but also it's the 1800s still in weird ways. If you love an old timey British accent, you'll love this haha.

The White Vault - probably my favorite specifically horror podcast, that makes you wait for answers in a craving sort of way, a longing to know what's going on, and not slogging through a bunch of filler to then get answers. It's great, gorey, geographically diverse fun. Interesting mashups of various cultures re: mythology, history, religion(?). Another on my list to watch out for the return of.

Midnight Burger: the quick pitch is - a time traveling diner that always services people in need, no matter what time, space, or dimension they may reside in. Excellent cast of characters, great development, wonderful implementation of a new character(s), and in general a very comfortable vibe to return to (speaking of, once I run out of recommendations I may relisten to this one). Highly recommend if you like sitcoms with time travel splashed with a bit of horror.

Edit: just finished up another one, so time to add it to the list!!

Monstrous Agonies: A radio show advice segment, about, by, and for the Creature Community. If you like WTNV, but find it a bit intense sometimes, or a bit too plot heavy/etc, you'll absolutely love this. Instead of the whole show, you just get the advice segment, but oh ho ho, is it so much more than that. If you're queer, BIMPOC, from a blended/mixed/broken/anything but 'typical' home... I think you'll like it. Very much what I would call 'easy listening', meaning you can just ease into an episode without having to remember a huge cast of characters, a plots b plots C plots meta plots... And it just feels *real*, in that strange and beautiful way WTNV does, but instead of a fictional town, the setting is the real world, with real problems, and real solutions. Sometimes you really do just need to howl or cry or chew on some slippers and that's OK. Highly recommend for ADHD havers or anyone with a short attention span who loves a soothing voice.

Edit: Another absolute banger to add to the list

Wooden Overcoats - how do I even properly describe the experience of this podcast. Let's start with the basics: It's the story of twins who run a funeral parlor on a small island, in a small village. Their family has been running said parlor for hundreds of years, as the only funeral directors on the island. Until one day... They aren't. A man arrives and sets up his own funeral parlor directly across the square, and boy, do things change for those twins. If you've listened to (and loved) Victoriocity, or The Amelia Project, I guarantee you'll enjoy this one. Strange, silly, and interesting things are always happening, except this one doesn't have quite as much drama (well...... Perhaps a different kind of drama. I'd call this an interpersonal dramedy, with emphasis on the comedy). An incredible listen, through and through. I thoroughly enjoyed every single episode, and the ending was quite safisfying :)

Another EXCELLENT addition to this ever increasing list of content!!! I'm not even finished with this one, I just love it so much that I can't help but add it to the list:

Mission Rejected - you know in those spy movies, where the spy gets a secret message from HQ and they say 'your mission, if you choose to accept it...' ok great. Now imagine if 007 said 'no'. This is the story about the backups, the team that takes the missions rejected by the Top Spy Guy. It's got diverse voice acting (in many senses of the word - you can tell the voices apart, it's not exclusively straight cis white dudes, etc etc), wonderful worldbuilding, great pacing, an excellent plot, I really could go on and on. I highly recommend this specific podcast to anyone who wants something light to get deeply invested in, that has a lot of comedy but also develops the characters outside of just their bits. 100/10 no notes

Edit: not sure which podcast/podcast enthusiast rb'ed this yesterday but I'm so glad more folks get to see this list!!! It makes me so happy that lots of folks enjoy this list, a d share their fave ones, and!!!! Aaaggghhhhhhhhh!!! I love podcasts and podcast enthusiasts!!!!!

Also I have another one for yall :3 if you're looking for another improv comedy to add to your list!!!

Hey Riddle Riddle - exactly what you think it is, but also so much more. Three friends/coworkers who also happen to be sensational improv comedians solve riddles and puzzles together, while also introducing bits and skits and reoccurring segments, so it never feels like 'just a Riddle podcast' (whatever that means). I have laughed every single episode, which is a big deal for me (some comedy podcasts only make me laugh every few episodes, and I require at LEAST one laugh per episode). I can genuinely say this is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever listened to, and the absolute best improv I've ever heard. I'm all for committing to the bit, and this one absolutely delivers on both the commitment part and the bit part haha. Seriously can't recommend this one enough if you maybe listen to a lot of drama/horror and need something easy to listen to (easy meaning there's not a plot you have to be intensely listening for, you can just enjoy it casually). 1000/10, please listen and also tell me YOUR favorite riddles :)

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

listen we all know who im obsessed with. it doesn't take rocket science to figure it out. but i've got to say. roy kent truly is just. such a character. truly a stunning example of peak blorbo material. just look at him. look at everything about him. that sure is. a guy. and not in the like generic "that's just a guy" way in the indescribable "wow. what a guy" way. what a guy. i love him

[larrythefloridaman]

fankids are funny. anyway her name is Present

[raveartts]

I couldn't decide on an expression 😭