it’s 5:24 am and I haven’t been able to get any sleep because i've been thinking about the anon on the chnt confessions account yesterday, the post about elijah.
ELIJAH VOLKOV IS NOT A "PURE EVIL VILLIAN." I AM PREPARED TO DIE ON MITKSI’S HILL FOR THIS.
in fact, i'd say he's quite the opposite! he's not some kind of irredeemable, vile monster of a human(?). he is a mentally disturbed man with an unhealthy pious obsession with an idealized version of somebody he does not know.
is he an "evil" character? he fits the textbook definition well enough and he plays an antagonistic role in the story, so yes, i suppose he is.
referring to elijah as a "pure evil villian" might as well be the same thing as calling jedidiah one. both characters and the way they treat sydney are two sides of the same coin. elijah is more stereotypically manipulative than jedidiah, sure, but they still both damage sydney in their own ways.
elijah did do arguably worse things than jedidiah did, for example, stalking, brainwashing children and trying to bury jedidiah alive(through the bodies of people he was also brainwashing). not a great look. but he isn't little jack horner from the newest puss in boots movie, he has real motivations and believes wholeheartedly that he is doing the right thing for all parties involved. his intention wasn't to kill sydney, and i personally don't believe it was his intention to manipulate sydney either. with how divine he views sydney, it just feels out of character for him to do that intentionally. unlike jedidiah, who is self aware enough to realize his flaws and how he harms sydneys mental well being. jedidiah, who(i'm pretty sure) has been aware of how his behavior effects sydney for YEARS, and has still done nothing to change. meanwhile, elijah, who was seemingly unaware of how he negatively impacts sydney, is made aware suddenly, and we see no aftermath of that. presumeably he still views sydney in the same way, but still, who knows?
i guess the main issue i personally have with this take is how it neglects to mention how jedidiah is just as bad. i'm just a jedidiah hater though, so this is probably extremely biased.
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idk if this is controversial but i don't think vash is ashamed of his scars. i think vash is mainly concerned abt the picture he presents to the world and other peoples well-being/feelings. so the reason he doesn't like others seeing his scars is because he think it will make them uncomfortable, and it also sort of undermines the image he wants to project of someone who's very sillygoofy/carefree etc. similarly, i don't think vash is ashamed or insecure about being a plant/having those inhuman features, more he's concerned with how other people react to them. (the plant stuff esp makes sense to hide given how people literally stoned him lmao)
but yeah i don't think he's filled with self loathing over the scars and being nonhuman. i feel like vash's self image is fine, he just prioritizes how others feel and reacts based on that. his whole philosophy of covering up how he feels inside (that smile is fake!) is based on this principle, it doesn't matter if he's depressed as hell as long as he can pretend it's ok, because external presentation and how you affect the world is what really matters to him.
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I successfully logged onto ao3. On my kindle. Proceeded to read two sentences of my own draft and gave up because god, the display is awful.
Then moved on to read Xornoth's entire page on empires-smp.fandom.com even though the display was arguably worse
ohohohoho, nonnie... ive written two chapters of a dsmp chatfic i once wrote on the fucking kindle web browser.. it was painful 👍
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“hope she can take all 7+ like a good girl when she's bouncing on his lap” LMAO omg I’m so excited it just makes me think about all these positions they are gonna do. Any snippets/ideas u have? I’m living my erotic life thru fics bc my actual life sucks
my mouth is staying pretty zipped from here on out. i might share stuff like title + draft/header closer to the chapter's release, but no more sneak peeks or spoilers like there have been.
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