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chvnnie · 2 years

Note

im dying for a soft!dom felix in public, doesn't matter where it could be anywhere (library, a fitting room, a car, etc.) plsss

the way i had to write this immediately because i could not stop thinking about it-

The Game

lee felix x reader

word count: 1.4k

genre: smut - MINORS DNI

warnings: soft dom!felix, sub!reader, use of vibrator, teasing, mentions of alcohol, public sex (like they aren’t even subtle about it), unprotected sex (y’all should know better by now), mentions of spit, marking, this is just fluffy porn. if i missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: it might be the easiest game to play, and you lost every single time.

a/n: i didn’t proofread this bc i’m feeling chaotic today

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents lee felix as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

The rules to the game were simple. First to make a sound or do anything to draw attention to the two of you loses. In theory, it shouldn’t be hard - you were a fairly quiet person and never liked to draw too much attention to yourself. The problem was Felix, and the way he rigged the game so that you always lost.

All it was was getting drinks with friends. An easy, low key Saturday night. All week you had looked forward to unwinding and sipping a cosmo, talking shit about your coworkers or that stupid guy on his phone who cut you off and almost ran into you two days ago. It was a night you wanted - no, needed more than anything. A simple night to relax and let loose.

The booth you sat at was a half circle, made of comfortable black leather and packed full of people. You sat between Felix, who was at the edge, and Minho, shoulders touching both men and their’s touching yours. The lights were dim, tables lit only by fake candles in the center that glowed yellow. Chatter filled the space, the rock music slowly fading into the background. It was the best, and the worst place to play the game.

That’s exactly why when Chan brought up drinks, Felix suggested this place. There was some comfort in the darkness the bar offered which made it safe, but it was always crowded, adding to the risk of getting caught. It was perfect for you two to play in.

So you sat, thighs clenched and pressed together, trying to focus on Hyunjin’s story as Felix turned up the speed of the vibrator resting against your clit. All evening he had messed with the setting, changing from a constant vibration to a pulse, which he knew was your favorite, and alternating the speeds based on his mood. He loved watching the way you froze, deer in the highlights look on your face when he sped it up, and the way your shoulders immediately relaxed when he turned it off.

Maybe he was sadistic for thinking it was fun. But he didn’t care. Not when he heard a small whine slip past your lips as you sipped on your drink.

Felix put his phone in his pocket, leaving it on a high pulse, and put his arm around your shoulder. He felt the way your skin pimpled at the slightest touch. God, you were a mess. He gave it five, ten minutes tops before you broke.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss right above your ear. “All good, love?” His voice was lower than usual, sending shivers down your spine.

“No.” The soft squeak barely audible.

Felix hummed, fingers ghosting up your shoulder to your hair. He took a strand and began to twirl it around his finger. “Ready to tap out?”

Knowing if you opened your mouth again, you’d lose immediately, you shook your head. He chuckled, absolutely loving the way you reacted to him. Fine, if you didn’t want to tap out, he could get you to surrender in other ways.

To everyone else at the table, it looked like Felix, the cuddle bug of the group, was just snuggling with his girlfriend. They were used to his PDA at this point; he never could keep his hands off you. But, under the table, his other hand was making its way up your thigh, pushing your dress up as it went. Felix felt the vibrations against his fingertips the closer he got to your center. He wasted no time pushing your panties aside and shoving two fingers into your warm cunt.

The added sensation made you jolt, knee accidentally hitting the table with a thud and knocking Minho’s whiskey onto his lap.

Quickly removing his hand from yours, his face shifted into one of concern. “What happened?”

That motherfucker.

“I ha-I had a leg spasm.” You said, voice weak and unbelievable. “Are you alright, Minho?”

Minho was patting useless thin bar napkins against his crotch, trying to soak up the amber colored liquor. “Fine, just looked like I pissed myself.”

“I’m so sorry-“

He waved you off, either not wanting to hear your apology or not wanting to accept it. “Can you guys let me out? I want to check if I have any extra clothes in my car.”

You followed Felix out of the booth, letting Minho squeeze out. While everyone was distracted with Minho leaving, Felix gripped your arm to pull you into him. “Say you don’t feel well. We’re leaving.”

So you did. With a shaky voice, you apologized to the group for making a scene, asking them to relay the apology to Minho. Their eyes filled with concern as they told you to go rest and text them when the two of you got home.

You didn’t even make it inside the car before he was on you.

Felix pushed your body against the driver’s door, lips immediately finding yours and devouring you. Finally alone, you let yourself release the moans that had built up in your throat. They were loud, needy, echoing throughout the empty parking garage even with Felix’s mouth muffling them.

He pulled away from you, spit connecting your lips as he grabbed your left leg and hoisted it up to wrap around his waist. “Fuck, I didn’t know how much longer I would last.” His fingers worked on his belt buckle and he dove into your neck, sucking little love bites onto it.

You whined, holding his head against your neck and grinding against him. “Need you, Lix.”

“Me, too.” Once he freed himself, his hands met your core, immediately moving to take the vibratior off you.

Your hand grasped his wrist, stopping his movements abruptly.

“N-no.” You panted as you shook your head, hoping Felix would get the point.

Judging by the way his slammed himself into you, hips crashing against your with a force that would leave you bruised, he got it.

“Fuck.” One hand on your hip, the other gripped the back of your head, pulling your hair to look at him. His thrust had the vibrator pressing against your clit harder, your lower stomach twitching in anticipation of your release. Your moans quickly turned into soft screams, the idea of someone hearing the two of you no longer a priority. “You’re so pretty when you scream for me like that.”

Your hands gripped his shirt, holding him close to try to stabilize yourself. Felix preferred to take his time, showering you with kisses and praises as he expressed his love for you with his hips. Never did he rush, never was he in a hurry. When you two were at home, he took all the time he wanted to pleasure you.

That was why you loved the game. The side of Felix it brought out was animalistic, same loving demeanor with a quick pace and depth that made you feel just a toy to him. It was a different side of Felix that wasn’t remotely like him.

And you were the only one who got to see it.

His lips pressed against your collarbones, lowering as much as he could to cover the swells of your breasts in kisses. The hand in your hair moved to your left boob, squeezing with a softness that didn’t match his pace.

“Love you.” He moaned, kisses leaving spit in their wake. “Love when you’re needy like this.” He pulled the top of your dress down, immediately capturing your nipple and biting down on it as he sucked.

That was all you needed to send you over the edge.

“Lix.” Your nails dug into his chest, slowly feeling yourself lose control. “Gonna cum.” A shrill moan left your mouth, and echoed around the two of you.

“Do it. Fuck, cum around my cock baby. Want you to soak me.” He continued his work on your nipple, pushing you far over the edge.

The orgasm that coursed through your body had you weak, hitting you hard and causing your body to go limp. You moaned his name through it, thank yous and praises almost unrecognizable.

The pressure of you clenching against him as you came made Felix reach his breaking point. He pulled himself out of you right as he started to cum, painting your pussy with his essence.

Felix collapsed into you, body shaky and sweating. The leg that was around his hip dropped to the ground with a thud, echoing off the walls like your moans did moments before.

“So good.” His breath was hot against your neck. “I love when we do this.”

You smiled as you began to catch your breath. “Me too.”

That was the thing about the game. Winning got you nothing.

Losing got you everything.

taglist: @lix-ables

©: chvnnie 2022

#skz smut #stray kids smut #lee felix smut #felix smut #skz drabbles

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

wetter | reader x minho

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x lee minho

Genre: smut, angst, pwp

Tags: harddom!minho, sub!reader, fuckboi!minho, fratboy!minho, waitstaff!reader, hookup au, degredation, penetration (r), oral and facefucking (m receiving), several mentions of gagging bc of deepthroating, fingering (r), semi-public sex (bathroom), quickie, cumshot (face), several allusions to infidelity

Word count: 2.5k

Requested: “hard dom!minho... with degradation...pls...” & “my thoughts are filled with hard dom!minho with degredation 🤤” (original ask)

There’s something intoxicating about hooking up with a person when the only thing that you know about them is the heat from their lips.

Some would argue that this makes them less of a “person” but more of a fantasy. If you had know their name, it would’ve made other strings twist in the mix. If you had known their name, maybe you would have been inclined to look them up maybe, or even worse, fall asleep with their name running over and over in your mind.

It was best when they tasted like sin and like the daydreams that you had never uttered.

He wasn’t like the other men that you would lead into the spotless bathroom of the country club which practically shone from the hard work of janitors who were paid less than the meals served at the god-forsaken place. As a part of the wait staff, your pay was dismal, but at least you could get a good fuck out of it once and a while.

Then men that would frequent the country club and golf course were always the kind that had starving hands and dicks that would twitch under their belts from the slightest brush of your hand. They were the kind of men who had wives, mistresses, and even handsome young men who could be at their beck and call. You liked to think that you were unlike those who they secretly craved. If anything, you were their daydreams.

This man seemed to be no different--at least in looks.

He sat with his legs spread where he socialized with his young friends on the veranda. The small group ate their salmon on bagels and caviar along with expensive cocktails that you barely knew the names of. A couple of them already had girls on their laps, and they fed them cherries which stained their plush (and likely fake) lips.

This man sat alone with his cardigan and perfectly pressed pants and loafers that appeared to have never been worn before. He had barely touched his food, but rather seemed to satiate his appetite from the teasing and dumb laughter of his friends. Judging off of his chunky and extravagant watch, there must’ve been no way that he had paid for the thing himself. Daddy or Mommy’s money made him appear as if he was some heir or prince. He even smelled like one too.

The male patrons would often follow the way that your hips moved when you walked to and from their table, or how your hands would rest on the crystal glass tables as you took their orders. You knew they must have been imagining what your fingers would’ve looked around their cocks.

He even gave you the same look.

You had guessed that he must’ve been college age or some kind of graduate. His friends wore Greek letters, so you assumed that he must have been one of the “brothers.” A long time ago, someone had told you to be especially careful of his breed of boy.

“Care to accompany me away from this crowd?” He had whispered into your ear, tickling it, when you had reached across to grab the plates.

The other boys had decided to go to the pool or the gym--not that it mattered--and his hand crept behind your waist as soon as he had excused himself from the rest of the group.

“I’ve got to call my mom real quick. If she wasn’t such a nag all the time...”

He held your hand as if he had known you, but it was likely not to rouse suspicion.

“Nice to meet you.” He sneers, looking back and passing the crowds of women in their feathered hats and other golfers in their finest designer polos and slacks.

You nod, noting that his hand feels strong and domineering in your own, and you can’t even begin to wonder where he might be taking you. If you were lucky, they would take you to their rooms and lay you down on the California King Sized Mattress, then you wouldn’t have to bend uncomfortably. However, this wouldn’t always be the case. Most of them favored coat closets, bathrooms and powder rooms.

You kept your head down as he pulled you further down hallways, praying that none of your coworkers would take notice. Some of them already had, however it wasn’t like any of them cared...not when they would often indulge in the same vice. Unhappy marriages were where most of you found some brief moments of happiness.

The young man snickered finding his hiding place and promptly lead you along with him into the towel closet which had been unlocked by the pool boys. The door was painted white and louvered with slits for airflow. It was then when you knew this would have to be one of the times when you would have to bite your tongue back.

He closed the door as quietly as he could, then turned to shove you back against it, and smear his heavy breaths over your mouth where he slicked his tongue against yours immediately. As he did so, his heated fingertips set to shrugging off your apron and hastily throwing it aside. You returned by sinking your fingers under his leather belt and jingling the metal around. If he was to see you bare, you wanted to see him too--something told you that he had something to show under his designer cardigan and this cotton shirt which must’ve cost a similar fortune.

His abs were toned as you had expected, and they rippled under your fingertips. The young man popped the button to your pants, and you reciprocated doing the same. Just like the others, it barely took anything for him to get hard. His length swelled against your stomach and he grinded it into you too just so you could feel his eagerness.

“You were practically asking to get fucked? Weren’t you? You whore.”

The young man smiled out his poisonous words, but they felt as luxurious as they usually did when you had heard them grace your ears. He kissed you once again with a mixture of teeth and tongue that ran your lips raw while you pulled down his pants to his ankles and tugged at the elastic to his briefs.

“Fuck, you really do want it that bad don’t you baby?”

His hands palmed at your own quivering sex which had slicked with your own arousal from his greedy advances. His hand pushed at the confines of our underwear and pants where he started to rub incessantly, then ate up your shuddering moans which floated from your lips to his.

All at once, he removed his hand and left your knees to buckle from the sudden lack of contact. With a deathly glare, he brought his fingers to your gasping mouth.

“Wetter.” He demanded before dipping them onto your tongue. You lathered them with your salvia where he twisted them around your muscle with the taste of bitter sweat and your own cum.

Once he saw fit, he drew his soaked fingers back down to your waistband and resumed teasing at your sensitive skin.

“You’d like to taste my cock wouldn’t you? Are you hungry enough for it, kitten?”

You nodded, trying to hide your whimpering from his touch.

“Get on your fucking knees then.”

He nearly shoved your shoulders to the ground, but you didn’t need him to prompt you. You pulled down his briefs on your way down his body, springing free his hardened member that was wrapped in thick veins. You firstly jerked at his hooded shaft beading with his cum, and you kissed at his tip roughly too for good measure.

“Did I say to tease me? Take me in your throat, you slut.” He slapped at your cheek, then aligned his dick with your lips. “What? Scared that it’s too much for you?”

“No.” You answered while testing him from below. “I can take it.”

“Show me.”

You did so--even though his considerable length burned and stretched out your throat at first. You knew that sometimes they liked it when they saw you cry, so you let the tears well at their own will. You hummed against his dick while he pushed at your gag reflex. With your right hand, you took his shaft back to twist at it while your head bobbed. Your steady pace kept your gags at bay, but every so often he would jerk his hips a little with a grunt, and you would nearly loose your composure.

“Is that as deep as you can take it? Fuck...here I was thinking that you would feel different...”

The young man laced both of his hands to the sides of your face: the exact place to give a cue into his intentions.

“Let me know if you need me to stop.” He growled.

He fucked your face deeper and deeper, gradually working up to a pace that felt comfortable while you puffed up your cheeks. Gag after gag he teased, and the strings of your drool slicked and bubbled on his cock while dripping down your neck too.

“Your pretty, tight, little throat feels so fucking good on my cock. Is that how you like it you cockslut?”

Hot tears dripped down your cheeks while you nodded the best you could in response, and your feet startled to tingle where they had fallen asleep where you knelt.

“Oh fuck yes.”

All that you could do to steady yourself was claw at his lower back, then moan helplessly against his length which stretched you out so well, it was impossible that it had felt this good before.

The young man pulled out after leaving your lips raw, pausing to pant like a wild animal while still firmly holding your head. You gasped, open mouthed, and sucked in air greedily while your spit strung from your lips to his cock.

“Stand up.” He commanded, and pulled you to your shaking feet. “Ready to get fucked sweetheart?”

“Y-yes.” You said, lightheaded, wiping the drool from your mouth onto your uniform sleeve.

The young man smirked out before turning you face first into the door. “Good. Don’t make a fucking sound doll. That is, unless you want to get caught? To have someone see you fucked out like this?”

“N-no...”

“Lets feel then how tight this hole of yours is.”

He let out a devilish sounding chuckle while bringing his hips to yours and coaxing his cock into your leaking entrance. He was just as thick in your hole as he had felt in your throat, and you squeaked out feeling the challenge. With your face pressed against the wooden door with ventilation slits, you could see the feet of those walking past, barely even knowing what had been occurring on the other side. Light from the hallway peeped in and striped over your whole body which the man ravished.

“Spread your legs farther...that’s it...just like that.”

The stranger thrust slowly at first, like he could just barely give you a taste of his full length; like you barely deserved it too.

“Fells good, doesn’t it? Such an obedient little fucktoy for me, aren’t you? I bet you were dreaming of this happening weren’t you? ...Looking at me the way that you were...”

“P-please...” You begged for him to quicken, but that wasn’t even your place.

“Do you fuck everyone like how you fuck me? I should have guessed that you would put out for anyone with those coy glances. I’m no idiot.”

“H-harder...fuck me harder...”

“Harder?” The rich young man scoffed, “I get to decide when I go harder.”

The man rolled his hips, and the patting of skin filled the darkened room. He gasped out while finding his rhythm, then reached around his fingers to tease at your lips once more.

“Wetter.” He chanted.

You did as you were told, he and rewarded you with the harsher grinding of his hips. Once his digits were properly wetted again, he brought them back to your throbbing sex, and rubbed at it with the same ferocity that he snapped.

“Cum all over my fingers you whore, cum like you fucking want it.”

His words were dizzying, and you gently rocked yourself over his hand and focused everything you could to drawing out your orgasm which was nearly there.

“That's right. Fuck my fingers kitten.”

The stranger too began to shake and you could sense that he had started to let go as well. The door rattled where he had you pressed against it, but he didn’t appear to care in the slightest.

“Oh god,” You peeped as quietly as you could, and felt your orgasm begging wildly.

He stopped for a couple moments to tap lightly into your arousal nearly on the edge, then laughed wickedly at the way that your whole body shook in response. All the while, his hips maintained their quick drags.

“Cum for me.” He demanded once more, and you obliged, finally erupting over his fingers with the cream of your cum lathers over your thighs and wrapping around his digits.

The words came out airy and broken, “S-shit....s-shit...”

He had become unchained, then turned his whole attention to the way that his fingers dug into your hips and how he could graze you so deep inside, it was like nothing you had known of before. He then grabbed at your ass with the bite of his fingernails while he pumped with hitched breaths.

“Back to your knees.” The command was sudden, but soon you found your shaking legs right back on the ground.

The stranger jerked himself fervently with eyes screwed shut and his own soft moans trailing from his pink lips and wetted tongue.

“Look at me.” He whispered. With one more flick of his wrist, he sent himself spewing his white and warm cum all over your face; ruining every feature. You closed your eyes to protect them but permitted your tongue to him freely where he jerked out the last of his milkly liquid directly onto your taste buds. His cum had painted your cheeks, and dripped from your jaw. At last you swallowed down the most you could with the bitter aftertaste that you had loved so much.

“Well, that’s certainly a sight.” The man reveled at his work.

You gasped out for him and grabbed a nearby towel to wipe the rest away, although he appeared somewhat disappointed by this. He too took a towel to wipe off his length and sweating forehead. After, he was silent picking up his clothes, and jingling his belt once more back over his waist. It often ended like this: the few words spoken in the moments before they left.

“Thanks for that babe.” He grinned. “Name’s Lee Minho. ‘Hope I’ll be seeing you around again.”

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

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semisgroupie · 3 years

Text

The Woman Who Used to be Mrs. Jones

Genre: smut, fluff (kinda at the end?), angst

Pairing: Aoi Todo X F!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k words

Warnings (some of the content can be triggering so please read through the warnings before reading this): cheating (in this Todo is the other man/reader is in a loveless marriage where her husband cheats on her/her husband is just a huge asshole), toxic relationship, sexual scenes, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), dirty talk, multiple creampies, bathroom sex, praise, risky sex (they fuck at a party the reader and her husband is hosting), mention of a small altercation between Todo and reader’s husband, mention of a child & brief mention of pregnancy (not detailed), if I missed anything let me know

A/N: I do not condone, support or encourage cheating! It is not good, don’t do it! The song Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul helped me with creating this piece so I recommend listening to it while reading this. This has depicted sex within this so MINORS DNI (I’m not gonna cry bc I don’t cry but I am not afraid to beat some ass) So I hope you all enjoy it, comments/reblogs are very appreciated!!! I also apologize in advance if formatting is weird on mobile :/

Flashbacks are bolded & italicized! Also separated by a border!

Todo walks up to the counter of the cafe and orders the usual for the both of you. He came early since he was done with work earlier than usual so after paying for the drinks he carried them to the special spot you two shared. Once seated he takes his phone out to check the time while taking a sip from his drink.

The time read 5:45. You got out fifteen minutes ago and your job wasn’t too far from the cafe, so you’d be there soon. The bell chimed to the cafe and Todo looked up to see you walk in.

His heart pounded in his chest, you looked as beautiful as you did the first day he met you all those years ago in high school. Once you two made eye contact you flashed him a smile and made your way over to him.

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you’d be here before me.”

He felt his cheeks flush at the pet name. You leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss, placing your hands on each side of his face caressing him as your lips met. Once you pulled away you sat down and started talking about your day at work.

He couldn’t help but lose focus as to what you were saying. He knew your day was tough from how your hair looked a bit disheveled from running your hands through it, a habit you had picked up when you were extremely stressed.

Time passed as the two of you spoke about each other’s days and then you were both done with your drinks.

“Wanna go home now Aoi? As much as I love it here I found this new recipe online that I would really like to try out!”

He nodded as you both got up, tipped the cashier one last time before heading to your shared home. The distance was short from where you both were currently and when you two were together even one hundred miles would feel like two blocks.

As Todo put the key in to unlock the door he sighed in content. Once you both were inside he took your jacket off and put it away. He leaned on the kitchen island while you started taking out ingredients for dinner.

“This isn’t a dream right Y/N?”

It just felt so unrealistic to him he just had to be dreaming. Your laughter filled the air as you walked towards him. You wrapped your arms around his body and looked up at him.

“While we did this in the most unconventional way it is very much real” you removed your left hand from his body to put your hand close to his line of view, “this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.”

Unconventional? Was that even the right word to explain the events that led you both to where you are now?

You started your arrangement with him two years ago. You became “Mrs. Jones” a year before that. A happy marriage was wished to the both of you, but your marriage was anything but that. Six months after you both said your I do’s you found your husband in bed with his boss. They didn’t even think about trying to conceal their affair.

To say it broke your heart was an understatement. You felt like he ripped your heart out of your chest and destroyed it slowly as you watched. Soon there were lonely nights filled with you drinking and crying yourself to sleep. Soon after you just became numb, you got used to putting up a facade whenever your friends or family asked how married life was.

The only one who knew of the affair and how horrible your marriage actually was, was your best friend Valerie. When she first found out you had to hold her back the next time she saw him because she was just filled with rage. You were trying to find a good divorce attorney, but you just didn’t have enough money yet, so you were stuck for the time being. Then it was time to plan how to celebrate one year since the day you married him.

Valerie said that she would bring a special surprise for you, but you just pushed it to the side. You settled on hosting a party at your parent’s house since it was big enough. The fake smile you had plastered on your face burned your soul more than the cheap ring on your finger. A cheap ring that meant the entire world one moment but now means absolutely nothing.

You were leaning on the wall, holding a glass of champagne, next to your husband as Valerie approached you.

“Y/N! You look absolutely stunning!” she gave your husband a side glance as she begrudgingly said his name, “Declan... anyways I have your surprise so come with me to the backyard!”

Before you could say anything she grabbed your hand and weaved both of you through the crowd of people. She opened the door and you almost dropped your glass at the sight.

“Aoi? I thought you were away in Sweden?”

Todo brings a hand to his neck.

“I was but my job relocated here, and Valerie told me everything. As much as I’d love to say congratulations, I can’t.”

Your body moves on its own as you approach him and hug him. He holds you on instinct and all that is heard is sniffles. You move back and quickly apologize for your abrupt actions.

“Hey, don’t apologize pretty girl” he brought his hands to cup your face and wiped the tears from your face, “Declan should be the one apologizing, how could he take someone like you for granted. I know you might not believe me, but you look just as beautiful as you did when we were in high school.”

The two of you were high school sweethearts but got accepted into different colleges. The inevitable happened and you both broke up, heading your separate ways losing contact. The last thing you heard about him was he had a job in Sweden and that was it. After college you met Declan and he seemed like a knight in shining armor, but it was too late for you to realize he was the devil in disguise.

You leaned into his touch as if you two were the only ones there. Only if he was the one you married; you both would be so happy. You wouldn’t have to worry about any mistresses or affairs because even in this moment you felt all his love. Todo moved in and before you knew it you felt his lips on yours.

You melted into the kiss immediately kissing him back until he abruptly pulled away.

“I am so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to you’re still married, and this is the anniversary party and he’s inside—”

“I don’t care about Declan. The only one I care about is you. Valerie always says I should be a little selfish and now is the time. I still care about you Aoi, I still love you. The piece of my heart that left with you is now back and I’m whole again. I understand if you’re not comfortable with this, I am trying to find a lawyer and once I get the promotion at my job I can finally pay for one.”

You looked up at him hoping he would indulge you in one last kiss even if it would be the last one you two ever shared. You watched as a smile grew on his handsome face.

“I love you too Y/N, I always had and I always will. When Valerie told me about everything I cannot explain the anger I felt not only at him but also myself. If I never left then you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe you would’ve been with me.”

He leaned down and placed another kiss on your lips. Before it could continue Valerie ran out to the both of you.

“Hey lovebirds as much as I love seeing you two together Declan is starting a toast and wants his wife by his side.”

She rolled her eyes as your husband’s name left her lips. You took a deep breath and turned inside, Valerie and Todo following you. You took another deep breath as you made your way to your husband putting up the fake smile. He handed you a glass of champagne and started the toast.

“This past year with my beautiful wife by my side has been the best year of my life. Waking up next to her every morning is what fuels my fire. I love this woman so much and marrying her was the best decision of my life. Thank you all for coming and supporting us. Here’s to a happy, healthy marriage and for many more years to come!”

As glasses clinked and cheers filled the room you were filled with disgust at his words. How could he spew such garbage knowing it meant absolutely nothing?

“Come on honey, you can do a better job with that fake fucking smile. Make everyone believe that we’re in love and that I haven’t fucked almost every single one of my coworkers. Maybe I’ll even indulge in you tonight.”

“Fuck you Declan, you piece of shit.”

You excused yourself to the bathroom shoving your heel into his foot making him wince in pain. Todou followed you upstairs a few minutes afterwards hearing your sobs. He knocked on the door once, twice until your shaky voice responded.

“Hey it’s me, I wanted to check on you.”

He waited hearing your heels click on the ground until you reached the door to open it. You looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, eyes puffy from all the rubbing and wiping your tears away. Todo looked at you with so much love it was as if Eros struck him with his bow.

He quickly placed his lips on yours, the kiss feverish but also very loving. As if he was telling you how much he loved you each time his lips met yours. He picked you up and placed you on top of the bathroom sink, quickly running to shut and lock the bathroom door.

“Please let me make you forget about him. Please let me show you what it is like to make love and not fuck. Please Y/N.”

All you did was nod before placing your lips back on his allowing your hands to slide down and undo his belt. He allowed you to undo his belt and pants letting them hit the ground while he was lifting the skirt of your dress up.

“As much as I’d love to take my time worshipping your body we have to make this pretty quick beautiful. But please if you want to stop at any time stop me.”

You nodded at him as you felt his hand lightly graze your clothed pussy. He moved your panties to one side as he slipped a finger in, slowly moving it then inserting a second finger moving it just as slow but each movement made you moan and shiver. You started getting impatient and you grabbed his wrist.

“Please Aoi, please make love to me.”

He slotted his lips against yours again as he removed his cock from his boxers. Moving the tip against your folds making you both moan in the kiss. Once he entered you, slowly and gentle, you broke away from the kiss to throw your head back and moan. Once you gave him the okay he started thrusting.

“Fuck, you’re so tight baby. Just holding me like you don’t want me to let go.”

He moved faster hitting all the right spots. It was as if his cock was designed to fit inside your pussy. Both of your moans and groans filled the small bathroom. It quickly became heated as the mirror started to fog up. He started thrusting into you faster and harder making you throw your hands on the mirror for stabilization.

He placed sloppy kisses along the column of your neck. He lifted himself from your neck to lick two of his fingers and place them on your clit, moving them in small tight circles.

“Come on baby cum for me. Cum all over my cock and I will fill you up. I’ll make this pretty little pussy so fucking messy with my cum and you’ll walk around in that party filled with it. You look so fucking gorgeous baby. I love you so much.”

That sent you off the edge, creaming on his cock with a high pitched moan of his name. He continued pounding your pussy through your orgasm as he was nearing his own. You pulled him in for another kiss running your nails up and down his clothed chest. Feeling your nails against him made him reach his own peak, filling you completely with his cum.

Todo peppered kisses along your lips, swollen and puffy from kissing so intensely, as you both came down from your highs.

“I’m going to pull out now okay?”

“Okay that’s fine.”

You didn’t need to tell Todo to be gentle, he was already treating you like fine glass. He slowly pulled out and quickly moved your underwear to cover your cum filled pussy. A low chuckle left his lips.

“Don’t want you leaking cum all over the place.”

He lifted you off the bathroom sink after picking up both his pants and boxers. Before you could even smooth out your dress Todo did it for you, fixing any flyaways in your hair and placing one last kiss on your lips. He unlocked the door and helped lead you to the stairs.

“We should head down at separate times so we don’t look so suspicious.”

You nodded, placing one last kiss one his lips.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

You went downstairs and walked to your parents. You had a small limp and it filled both Aoi and yourself with joy seeing how your husband stared, completely confused at you. Valerie leaned next to you close to your ear.

“I already gave Aoi your phone number, go get that dick again.”

She lightly smacked your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips. The party went on for a couple more hours, lingering glances shared between you and Todo. When the party ended you had to figure out a ride situation since your husband drank way too much and you were a little tipsy.

Declan’s brother offered to take him back and before he could offer you a ride Todo came up and offered to take you home, to which you immediately agreed. The ride was filled with laughter and talk of memories. Also, when Todo parked at a secluded area near where you live you thanked him for the ride with a mind blowing blowjob.

He dropped you off in front of your place, being the gentleman he is, he walked you to the front door giving you one last kiss.

“I hope to see you again soon beautiful angel.”

“How about tomorrow? We could go get drinks or dinner.”

“There’s a cafe near my job, I’ll text you the address. Meet me there tomorrow when you’re done with work.”

You nodded as you fished your keys out of your purse. Taking a deep breath you unlocked the door and put your things away, heading straight to the guest bedroom because you refuse to sleep in the same bed Declan had all his whores in.

You thought he went to sleep until you heard a groan of your name. You rolled your eyes and continued going to the guest bedroom, ignoring him until you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“What do you want Declan?”

“What, I can’t touch my wife? You looked really sexy tonight so I thought I might do you the favor of fucking you.”

Fire burned in your veins. Every time you tried to pull yourself away from his hold, his grip got tighter.

“Declan, you’re drunk, and I hate you. Even if I was drunk I still wouldn’t go to bed with you, so make good friends with your hand or call one of your whores up because I will never sleep with you again.”

He turned you around.

“Listen here you bitch, you will never talk to me like that ever again. I did you the fucking favor of marrying your sorry ass now you treat me like this? I haven’t touched you in fucking months and this is what you tell me? Fuck you.”

“My sorry ass? Did me a favor? Did you also do me a favor by cheating on me over and over again? Did you do me a fucking favor then Declan? Rubbing it in my face that you didn’t love me the way I loved you, fucking anything that had tits and bringing them back here. I. Fucking. Hate. You. Rot. In. Hell. I don’t know what those girls see in you anyways, I had to fake almost all my orgasms and your dick has a weird curve, you should go see a doctor for that actually. I can’t wait until I have the money to divorce you and properly leave your sorry ass in the dust.”

You snatched your arm from his grip and locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You took off the heels and unzipped your dress letting it hit the ground as you made your way to the bathroom that was connected to the room. You took off the ring on your left hand flushing it down the toilet.

“That’ll be the last I see of you.”

You turned on the shower letting the water run, steam filling up the bathroom fogging up the mirror. You slipped your panties off the memory of your time with Aoi in the bathroom of your parents’ house filling your mind as you picked up the cum stained panties and put them in the laundry basket.

You entered the shower letting the water run over your body. After your shower you put your pajamas on and sent a goodnight text to Todo setting up the time for meeting at the cafe tomorrow. The next morning you woke up to an empty house, you let out a sigh of relief not wanting to deal with Declan after the stunt he pulled last night.

Your day at work went fairly quickly then it was the end of your workday. Inputting the address Todo gave you into the GPS you realized the drive was going to be pretty short. Once you found parking you walked into the cafe, the little bell on the door chiming with the movement. You looked around and saw Todo sitting at a corner side table, isolated from most of the crowd.

That’s when you started the arrangement. He was fine with being the sideman for now until he could properly have you to himself. Little dates and mind blowing sex filled your lives for the next four months.

~Four Months Later~

Todo was sitting at the table that basically became the unofficially assigned table for you both as he heard the chime to the door. His head shot up expecting you to come through the doorway. It was just an elderly couple. He checked his phone again, checking for any new messages from you and nothing. Just the last message that read: “I’ll see you soon my love”.

Today was the day you would find out if you got the promotion. With the promotion you would get a huge increase in your salary and a $2,000 advance once it was official. $2,000 was the amount you needed to finally afford the divorce lawyer.

Ten minutes passed and Todo ordered another drink for himself. To say he was nervous for you would be an understatement. He was fidgeting like crazy. He received the drink and sat back down at the table. The door chimed again and he looked up to finally see you.

You waved at him and gave him a small smile. Worry filled him and he was afraid to ask you how everything went.

“There’s no way she didn’t get the promotion. She has the best relationship with her boss and she works so hard.” He thought to himself.

You greeted him with a kiss on his head and sat down. He stood silent watching you.

“So I should tell you about what happened at work right Aoi?”

“You don’t have to honey, it’s fine.”

A smile graced your face, a genuine smile, the only type of smile that you shared with Todo since he filled you with genuine happiness.

“I got the promotion.”

Todo sat there in shock.

“What? What did you just say?”

“I got the promotion. I just came back from meeting the divorce lawyer to fill out necessary paperwork, that’s why I came so late.”

He got up from his seat and lifted you up into his arms.

“I’m so happy. I could yell from the rooftops.”

So he did the next best thing, he yelled about your promotion to the entire cafe. The people inside applauded you and gave you words of encouragement. The elderly man approached the both of you after Todo put you down.

“Congratulations to you young lady. This young man seems to be extremely proud of you. I didn’t mean to interrupt the celebration but it’s just that the both of you remind both my wife and I of us when we were younger. While we met under unconventional circumstances we have spent the past 30 years together. I wish you both a happy, healthy relationship.”

You both thanked the old man and watched him walk back to his wife.

“Do you think we’ll be like them one day Aoi?”

He pulled you close to him.

“I don’t think we will, I have a feeling I know we will. Now let’s go pick up your things and bring you back to my place to properly celebrate.”

He drove you to your house and walked with you inside to pack your clothes. In the midst of packing things you both heard the front door slam shut, meaning one thing: Declan was home.

“Care to explain the car in front Y/N? I know you don’t have enough money to afford a new one.”

You sighed and continued packing with Todo.

“I was asking you a fucking question -- oh who’s this? Why are you packing? Oh I get it now, finally got a new guy to deal with your shit? Good luck buddy--”

Before Declan could get another sentence out Todo walked over and shoved him against the wall.

“Don’t you ever speak to Y/N like that again asshole. For your information, she’s leaving you and coming with me. A guy who actually loves her.”

Declan stood there shocked that someone stood up to him. Once you zipped up your bag Todo left Declan to help you. Todo walked behind you with your bag in his hand. You turned one last time to Declan.

“Oh by the way I’ve been having sex with Aoi for the last four months and the first time was at the anniversary party. The reason I was limping was because of him not because of my heels. And you’ll be getting my divorce papers soon, go fuck yourself Declan.”

You walked with Todo to his car and he drove you back to the cafe so you could bring your car to his place. Once you entered through the front door he was on top of you. Placing sloppy kisses all over your lips and neck.

“You looked so fucking sexy there Y/N.”

He picked you up and brought you to his bedroom while you were peppering kisses along his neck. He put you on the bed and started stripping, you followed suit until you were left in your bra and panties and he was left in his boxers.

He pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you. Placing kisses down your body, removing your bra once he got to your chest and removing your panties once he got to your hips. Not one inch of your body was left untouched by his lips except your pussy. The place you needed him most.

“Aoi please.”

“Please what baby? Tell me what you want.”

“Need you—your mouth on my pussy please.”

He wasted no time. He licked from your leaking entrance to your engorged clit. Making you throw your head back.

“I don’t know how but you taste better every time. I’m fucking addicted to how you taste.”

He dove back in, wrapping his lips around your clit and using a finger to tease your entrance. He was alternating between light sucks and harsh sucks making you buck your hips against his mouth.

“Aoi please fuck me. Wanna cum on your cock please.”

He gave your clit one last suck and took the finger he used to circle your entrance and put it in your mouth. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his finger made him even harder if that was possible. He stood up and took off his boxers, throwing them to a random area in the room.

He spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times as he made his way back on the bed.

“Are you ready my love?”

You spoke breathlessly “yes Aoi, please.”

He aligned himself and entered you slowly, going inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you. A moan leaving both of your lips.

“And correction my love, I don’t fuck you” you furrowed your brows but that expression quickly changed when he pulled himself back until only the head of his cock was inside you and he bottomed out again in a swift movement, “I make love to you.”

He leaned down placing his forearms on either side of your head slotting his lips against yours. His thrusts slowly increase in speed. He breaks the kiss to praise you.

“My beautiful girl is so talented. You look so gorgeous right now. So fucking beautiful, I love you Y/N. I love you so much.”

“Aoi, feels s’good. Please I’m gonna cum soon. You fill me so good, like you were made for me.”

You wrap your legs around his waist and he slides his hand down between the two of you to rub circles around your clit. Your moans start increasing in pitch signaling that you’re going to cum. You bring your hands to his back and rake your nails down, digging into his skin, sure to leave marks. His ruts increased in speed bringing you to your orgasm.

“Fuck baby you’re clenching my cock so tight. I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy baby. I’m gonna fill you up every single day because now you are mine.”

He emphasized each word with a hard thrust. He buries his face in the crook of your neck. Once he cums he sinks his teeth in trying to conceal the guttural moan that leaves his mouth. Coming down from his high he lifts his head up.

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to—”

“There’s no need to apologize Aoi, I’m sorry about the scratches on your back.”

“Don’t apologize pretty girl, with how often we’re going to be making love I’ll get used to it.”

He slowly pulled out and you felt the cum leak out of you. He picked you up and carried you bridal style to the shower. Let’s just say both of you were lucky that the neighbors were gone for the night.

~1 year later~

The both of you have been together for a year and four months. Todo was by your side the entire time throughout the divorce preceding. Comforting you and supporting you the entire time. Once your divorce was finalized your relationship received an official title.

Both of you were extremely happy but there was the voice in the back of Todo’s head that gave him doubts. When he went to go engagement ring shopping with Valerie the voice was there.

As he picked out the perfect ring for you the voice was there. His head was filled with doubts. Of course he loved you, he loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. He knew you loved him. His love for you was immortal, unconditional but he wasn’t so sure if it was the same for you.

That voice in his head hammering doubts over and over again it made him nervous. He started to wonder if he should bring the ring back. If he should change his mind. It was that voice.

“What if she gets tired of you like her husband did with her? What if she finds someone better than you? What if she doesn’t love you as much as you love her? Could you handle the heartbreak Aoi? Could you?”

He started getting distant from you, less kisses in the morning, leaving without saying goodbye, barely initiating sex, it made you worried. What if he’s getting tired of you like Declan? You texted him wanting to meet at the cafe after work. He just sent back a simple “okay”.

Reading it made you even more nervous than before. When you were done with work you drove as slow as you possibly could to the nearby parking lot. You opened the door to the cafe and once you looked around you saw Todo there, fidgeting.

“Is he going to end things with me? We were supposed to move to the new house next week.” You wondered to yourself, you both had so many plans for the future but the future is uncertain.

You sat down and it was silent. He nudged your drink over to you and that was the most interaction you got from him since you got there. It killed you to not talk to him and it was killing him too.

“Y/N, I’m scared.”

You looked into his eyes and saw the fear within them. But what could he possibly be scared about?

“Aoi, what’s wrong? What’s scaring you?”

“What if you get tired of me? What if you meet someone better than me? What if—”

“Aoi. Stop that please” your voice started shaking, it broke your heart to see the man you love being plagued with such fears.

“Aoi, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. You’re my love. You’re my soulmate. You make me happier than anyone in this world. You brighten up my day, the small things you do make me fall even more in love with you.”

You got up and bent down to hug him. You pulled back holding his face in your hands.

“Aoi I will never get tired of you. I let you leave me once and I never plan on doing it ever again. I love you Aoi Todo, I will love you until my heart stops beating and I will love you long after that. In every life I will look for you to recreate this love over and over again. If I had to go back in time I would go through this all over again just to be right here with you.”

Tears were falling down both of your faces by the time you stopped speaking. You wiped his tears away and he lifted his hands to wipe yours away. He pulled your face closer to his and kissed you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so so sorry.”

He muttered apologies against your lips and when you both pulled away it was his turn to speak. You sat back down holding his hands above the table.

“I just got scared Y/N. I love you so much and I just can’t imagine my life without you. I look forward to the future with you, I want you by my side through every single endeavor. You’re my everything. You’re the sun that brightens my day. You’re the stars that shine through my night sky. You’re the air that I breathe. I love you.”

You stood up and pulled him along with you as you both walked out of the cafe. You drove the both of you home and once you entered you led him to the bedroom. Once you entered you undid his work shirt and pants stripping him to his underwear. You led him to the bed and sat him down.

“I never want you to question my love for you ever again.”

You kissed him and placed kisses down his body. Little nibbles along his pecs, a flick of your tongue along his nipples, slow sensual kisses until you reached the waistband of his boxers. You tugged at the waistband and he lifted his hips to help you properly take them off.

His cock slapped against his abdomen. You took it in your hand and gave it a few gentle strokes. You placed featherlight kisses from the head of his cock to the base. You took his head into your mouth swirling your tongue around it and letting it go with a pop.

You took your hand and spit on it using it to lube his cock for you and you started to take more of him into your mouth. His moans and groans filling the room along with the sounds of you gagging yourself on his cock.

When you popped up for air looking at him he could swear he just saw a goddess in front of him. Even with your saliva and tears coating your face he has never seen anyone more beautiful than you. Even Aphrodite herself could not even come close to your beauty.

You got up and stripped off your clothing. You pushed him back gently to lay on the bed as you straddled him aligning his cock with your pussy. You sunk yourself down onto him, he tossed his head back into the bed feeling your warm slick walls welcome him in.

You started moving up and down slowly before gaining a rhythm bouncing on his cock. You moved your upper body close to his grabbing his face and making eye contact.

“I love you—ah fuck—Aoi. I love you so much. You fuck me so good. You are so handsome. Thank you for loving me.”

You felt his arms reach around your waist as planted his feet on the ground to pound into you. Once he started jackhammering into you repeatedly hitting your g-spot you felt yourself cumming around him over and over again.

He used this position to pull as many orgasms as he could from you until he had his own and with how tight you were around him it would be extremely soon. You felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Please cum inside me Aoi, please please please. I need you to fill me up please I need your cum.”

He pulled you down and his hips lifted bottoming out inside you, filling you with his cum. You let your full weight go onto him as you were catching your breath. Hard breaths filled the room. You looked at him and kissed him again.

“I love you Aoi.”

“I love you more Y/N.”

The following week you both moved into your forever home. Todo made dinner and ordered your favorite dessert to celebrate the move. It was also the day that he was going to propose. He knew how much you hated public proposals and receiving unnecessary attention so why not do it at home?

When you were doing the dishes making small conversation on how you saw a documentary about female serial killers he got the ring and went on one knee.

“So all of her victims were just random men who had green eyes, isn’t that—”

“Y/N.”

You turned around and dropped the sponge in your hand. Your jaw drops at the sight of the man you love and the most beautiful ring you have ever seen.

“Y/N, you have made me the happiest man the past year and four months. Time with you has been amazing. You make me feel like I have been floating on air and I never want to come down. I love you so much. Will you continue this journey of life with me, as my wife?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

You bent down to kiss him and he slipped the ring on your left finger. A few seconds later Valerie called, already aware of what Todo was planning to do. You set the date of the wedding six months from the day of the proposal.

The wedding was small and filled with only close friends and family. It was the happiest day of your life and everyone preferred Todo over your ex husband, even your father, who never liked any of your boyfriends.

“I like this guy a lot Y/N, I mean I’ve always liked him.”

“Dad you threatened to hunt him down when we first started dating in high school.”

“Oh honey it’s just dad stuff but that was a promise and it still stands.”

“Dad! He’s not like that, he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world and like I’m a precious gem.”

You both looked over at Todo sharing a dance with your mom and when he looked at you, you could see your future in them. Wherever he would go you would be there beside him as his wife.

“this ring you gave me a few months ago is proof of our love and the ring I gave you on your left ring finger is also proof of my love and dedication to you.” Todo leaned forward and kissed you holding you in his arms.

“I never thought that one person could make me feel so loved and make me feel so much love for them Y/N.”

Now married life was doing the both of you well. Nothing could tear the both of you apart. Not even the news on your one year anniversary that you both were going to have your first child. If Todo felt like he was on cloud nine before then holding your beautiful, healthy son in his arms made him feel he was in seventh heaven.

A/N pt2: thank you all for reading this, I’m really excited about how this work turned out I hope you all enjoyed it. This is by far my longest fic so I really appreciate you reading it through. I have much more on the way, if you have any requests my ask is open! Again thank you so much for reading I appreciate you all! — D <3

#aoi toudou x reader #aoi todo x f!reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #x female reader #tw cheating #tw toxic behavior #tw toxic relationship #tw unprotected sex #Aoi todo smut

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sagemusesoutloud · 3 years

Text

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

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remmyswritings · 4 years

Text

our secret pt. 4// regulus black x reader

ok so i’ll admit this one definitely has a bit less of regulus x reader dynamic but that’s only bc we see more regulus and sirius / reader and sirius, reader with her best friend Stephanie (surprise @firewhisky-kisses) and then one more towards the end that’s a surprise.... I really hope you all like this one :) <3

taglist: @summer-writes @willowbleedsonpaper @obsessedwithrandomthings @firewhisky-kisses @potterverseimagine @in-slytherin-we-trust @masterofthedarkness @imboredandneedalife @lila-lilakk @strawberriesonsummer @62442-am @nebulablakemurphy @kashishwrites @pcseidcnsvoid @mytreec @curious-curios @jenniweaslee @cherrycolakxsses @peeves-a-legend @booksmusicteaandanimals @heart-of-tempered-steel

part 1

part 2

part 3

“Love,” you looked up from the newspaper to see your husband standing in the kitchen doorway, “what are you still doing here? I thought you said you had to get into the office early.”

“Oh I do,” then you motioned toward the stairs behind him, “but you brother is currently busy hogging all of our hot water.”

Regulus came over and placed a long kiss on your head, “I’m sorry that he’s been staying here for so long darling.”

“Reg, you know that doesn’t bother me, what does is how long he takes in the shower.”

As if you manifested him with your words, Sirius came strutting into the kitchen, his hair still wet from the shower, “Good morning fire + whiskey. What are we discussing on this fine morning?”

You and Regulus both rolled your eyes at the nickname Sirius had given you. When you first heard it, it was when Sirius sat in the middle of your living room completely wasted… that was 4 months ago.

“We were wondering what exactly it is you do in the shower Sirius,” the glint in your eyes shining as brightly as ever, “we might have to start charging you for every shower you take.”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Sirius ran his hand through his hair, “And thanks for letting me stay here, I really do appreciate it.”

You reminded Sirius, just as you did every morning, that you were fine with him taking over your guest room. You knew that him and Reg both deserved a life where they could actually spend time with another… Now if only you could find someone for Sirius.

After finally being able to take a shower you rushed around, hoping to get to work as soon as possible. When you hopped down the stairs, you found Regulus standing at the door with your bag in hand, “Don’t worry everything is already packed.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” you gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Hmm,” Regulus pulled you in for one more kiss, “I’m not sure, let me get my notebook where I keep track of how many times you tell me you love me.”

Regulus acted as if he were going to carry you back into the house but instead turned you around and set you down on your front porch, “I love you and I hope you have a nice day at work.”

“Do you think I’ll ever have what you two have Reg?” Regulus turned around to see Sirius leaning against the bannister with a look of longing in his eyes.

Regulus nodded his head and squeezed Sirius’ shoulder, “I think you will. Say, I think Y/N might know someone who would be a good fit for you, why don’t you ask her?”

“Are you sure?” Sirius turned to look his brother in the eyes, “When it comes to my wife, I believe in her 10000%.”

While Regulus and Sirius were talking you had apparated near one of the stops on the tube and rushed towards the entrance of the Ministry of Magic. You were grateful to have gotten a job at the Department of International Magical Cooperation when you and Regulus returned to London but you definitely did not like your boss who gave you hell for every little mistake you made. Thankfully you weren’t greeted by him when you walked into the office instead you found your good friend Stephanie there, holding a cup of your favorite caffeinated drink in her hand.

“To what do I owe this greeting today?” You smiled at Stephanie as you grabbed the drink out of her hand.

She smirked, “How about me getting our boss off your back for the rest of the week?”

“I swear Steph, you are the absolute best,” you took a sip of your drink, relishing in the comfort the warmth brought you.

The two of you walked down the hall and towards your desks knowing that the second you sat down you’d be bombarded by your male coworkers asking for you to send notices for them and whatnot. When lunch time rolled around, you and Steph stepped out of the Ministry and headed towards the cafe the two of you found on your first day at work.

“Alright Steph, you haven’t said a word about your date at all,” you looked over at your friend to see her making a face, “So was it really that bad?”

“Ugh,” her head fell into her hands as she groaned, “it was so bad that I don’t have the words to describe how bad it was.”

You thought back to the past couple months of watching Sirius also go on blind dates only for them to all crash and burn, “Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I don’t,” she looked at you to see the twinkle in your eye that let her know you were scheming, “whyyy?”

“Just trust me,” you looked down at your watch, “and would you look at that we have to head back to the office.”

You were so tired when you made it home that you almost forgot about your plan. Well, you almost did until Regulus brought up the question that Sirius had asked him after you had left.

“Would it be crazy if I set up a friend of mine with your brother?” your fingers danced over Regulus’ shoulder and down his arm to meet his hand.

He placed a couple light kisses up and down your neck, “No, I don’t think so. I take it you are talking about Stephanie?”

You hummed in agreement as Regulus slowly trailed up to your jaw, “You should mention her to Sirius tomorrow at breakfast.”

“Ok,” you shifted closer so that instead of resting on the pillows, you used your husband’s chest for support and soon fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning you found yourself face-to-face with Regulus’ sleeping form. It was rare for you to wake up before him, so you took advantage of the sight in front of you. Your fingers slowly ran up and down his face, trailing down his nose before drawing the outline of his lips. Surprisingly, Regulus hadn’t woken up to your touch, so you brought your lips to his forehead and then his eyelids and then his nose, which is when you finally felt him start to stir.

“Hmm, I could get used to waking up like this,” he muttered, his voice still scratchy from having just woken up.

You started to pepper his jawline with kisses, making sure to avoid his lips knowing that the action would bother him, “Are you sure you want to be woken up like this?”

“Can you please kiss me already?” Regulus whined.

“Mhmm,” you leaned down very slowly, your lips practically touching when you suddenly jumped out of bed, “how about later?”

Regulus whined at the loss of your touch and could only watch as you grabbed your outfit for the day and jumped into the shower. When the hum of the water filled the air he begrudgingly headed towards the kitchen where he found Sirius standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands.

“Good morning, where’s the fire to your whiskey?” Regulus sat down across from his brother, who was making him a cup.

He motioned to the upstairs portion of the house, “She’s currently enjoying our hot water since you aren’t getting wet.”

“That’s nice,” Sirius muttered.

Regulus faced his brother and looked at him inquisitively, “Are you okay Sirius?”

Sirius sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, “I’m not sure… I don’t know. That French girl that I went on a date with a couple weeks ago stopped by yesterday to talk and she said she doesn’t quite understand why I acted as if I wanted an actual relationship with her, but that is what I wanted!”

“Hey,” Regulus spoke softly, “You’ll find that person.”

“And how can you be so sure about that Reg? Whenever I find someone who seems interested, turns out all they want is a good fuck and that may have been what I wanted a couple years ago but not anymore,” Sirius groaned in frustration.

“Well,” Regulus hesitated, “Y/N told me last night that she’s been thinking about setting you up with a friend of hers at the office. She thinks you’ll be good for one another.”

When Regulus finished the sentence, you appeared at the doorway of the kitchen, “I heard my name. Are you trying to summon me darling?”

“Love,” Regulus pulled you into his arms, “I was just mentioning your friend to Sirius.”

“Oh perfect!” You turned to face Sirius, noting how disheartened he looked, “Sirius, I really do think she’ll be perfect for you.”

Sirius nodded his head, “What is she like?”

“Well her name is Stephanie, she was a Puff back at Hogwarts. She’s a super loyal person, honest, and very strong and quite frankly she has this adorableness to her but she isn’t willing to get dirty if need be,” you watched as Sirius' eyes lit up at her description, “and she wants to be with someone who will accept her for who she is completely.”

“Do you think she’d like me?” Sirius’ voice sounded so vulnerable.

You nodded, “I think she’d love you. Why don’t you come up with some date ideas with Reg and I’ll see if she’s free this weekend.”

Looking at the time, you rushed over and gave Sirius a big hug before you and Regulus met at the front door where you gave him a long kiss on the lips and the two of you said your goodbyes and I love yous.

Sirius soon came up with just the idea for his date and after begging slightly to his younger brother he set up your backyard with a multitude of fairy lights. After sending a letter to you before lunch time, you convinced Stephanie to stop by your place for dinner and made sure to let her know that she wouldn’t be having dinner with you and Regulus.

When you arrived home to see what Sirius had created, you knew your suspicions were right and confidently left Sirius alone as you took Regulus out to muggle London with you. As you and your husband went to the movie theater, Stephanie arrived at your house all dressed up.

She knocked on the door only to her surprise for Sirius Black to open the door for her, “Hello.”

“Hi Stephanie, I’m Sirius,” he opened the door further, “Why don’t you come on in?”

She walked into the house to see that the fairy lights had been extended to the main hallway, filling the room with a golden shimmer. When she made it to the kitchen, she saw that Sirius was still preparing dinner, “I hope you don’t mind waiting a bit.”

“No not at all. What are you making?” She leaned in closer, the smell consuming her every thought as she ended up with her chest pressing against Sirius’ back.

He turned to see her standing so close to him but in a way that was different from how his previous dates did, “oh, it’s this pasta recipe that Y/N mentioned you really liked. I hope I do it justice to be honest with you.”

“The fact that you are even making me dinner right now, is absolutely amazing,” she took a deep breath in, “and it smells really good.”

A couple minutes later, Sirius levitated some plates over and served dinner for the both of them, but instead of heading towards the dining table he led Stephanie to the backyard where he had set up a table for two.

“I hope you don’t mind being outside,” Sirius blushes slightly as Stephanie stood at the doorway in shock at the sight in front of her, “I just knew that the stars would look extra beautiful tonight and I wanted to share that with you.”

Stephanie finally turned to Sirius, “This is the best thing anyone has done for me before.”

The two of them sat down and conversed for hours on end. Even after they had finished their food, and Y/N and Regulus had returned from their night out, and Sirius brought out a blanket for the two of them to stargaze for a while. They were so caught up in one another they hadn’t even realized that they’d fallen asleep in one another’s arms, only to wake up the next morning with the sun shining in their faces.

“I’m so sorry,” Sirius looked down bashfully, “I didn’t mean to keep you here with me all night.”

Stephanie reached out and cupped Sirius’ face, “Sirius, I had the most amazing time last night and not once did I think about wanting to leave.”

“Could- could we do this again sometime?” Sirius looked at Stephanie with a face that reminded her of puppy dog eyes.

She nodded, “I’d love to… that is if you’d like to.”

“Ya, ya,” he nodded his head eagerly, “I’d love to as well.”

#remmys writings #regulus black x reader #regulus black imagine #regulus black #regulus black x y/n #regulus x reader #sirius black #sirius black x steph #sirius black x boo 💛

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angeltrapz · 3 years

Note

ok saw asks!!! bcuz i have Amanda on th brain rn i wd like ur take on her interacting w Lawrence? personally idk how much she knew of his involvement bc she implies in 3 tht Lynn was entirely John's choice, but i also think th idea of her Knowing + deliberately not telling Hoffman is extremely funny. Hoffman cant come 2 th weekly disciple meeting bcuz hes got Cop Business so he misses Lawrence's introduction + Amanda is just like "sure John of course ill tell Mark that we got a new friend :)" and just never does. LOVE that thought

dhgsdkj thank u!!

it Is extremely funny 2 think that she just. knows but refuses to tell Hoffman + THAT'S why Hoffman doesn't know who Lawrence is until he jabs him w the needle + takes off the pig mask lmao omg. just like "oh yeah of course I'll tell Mark we have a new teammate don't worry abt it!" and she Never Does dkjkdsg??

okay but 2 Seriously answer yr question. when I think abt it I always think that like. it wld b pretty hard fr John 2 keep them frm each other given how integral Lawrence's participation is in every game from SAW II onward? 'cause like we know Amanda helps w the kidnapping process + placing them in their traps, which one CLD argue would only mean she wld see them after Lawrence would do his thing but. I feel like she'd be vaguely aware? bc she wld also then have 2 know that he survived his game, given that she helped set it up - we know that she'd AT LEAST know his name.

to elaborate on th idea that only HOFFMAN doesn't know (both bc it's fucking hilarious + actually how I view things happening jdkhfksd), I feel like Amanda + Lawrence's interactions wld be rather limited. in canon, Lawrence becomes a disciple after John "rehabilitates" him or whtever he wants 2 call it, but I feel he'd have to be aware of Amanda, too - both that she is also a disciple + SHE'S th one who helped get him in the bathroom in th first place. as grateful as Lawrence seems to feel toward John + as much as he believes in John's "work," I feel like that wld be smth he'd have to work thru: working side by side w someone who had a direct hand in basically destroying yr life as u knew it. n I feel like Amanda wld know that, n as such she'd want to keep her distance bc she can't predict how this man will act/what he will do, even if he is technically on her side. so like. things wld def be tense btwn them until Lawrence has had some time 2 process his new life + what tht means for him, and until the two of them can have some sort of talk/acknowledgement of that.

though I will say that their roles kind of imply they'd at least see a good bit of each other. Amanda scouts, in a way, helps subdue & bring ppl in, which wld then be brought to Lawrence fr any medical procedures they feel r needed (such as sewing th key behind Michael's eye in II) so it'd definitely be like a "hey did u bring some1?" sort of thing. Mark is muscle of course so like I know he def helped on tht end (I believe Amanda is th one who caught Lawrence in the parking garage but like it wld be SO much funnier if Hoffman was the one crawling around) but IDK if he rly Saw Lawrence bc. Cop Business. so he'd just kinda b like "here u go" n bring ppl to Amanda n then peace out 'cause he's gotta keep tht reputation of Respected Detective. we know he also might've messed w traps themselves as well (like The Rack in III), which wld definitely keep him separate from Lawrence bc Lawrence had No Involvement in designing/setting up traps. tht was strictly a John/Hoffman/Amanda endeavour.

as fr how they'd feel abt each other? it's really dependent on how u view thm as characters. Lawrence, after he becomes a disciple, believes that what John is doing is truly helpful and truly has the capability to change lives; he devotes himself 2 it, shows countless times tht he has complete faith in John + his methods, so much so that John left a tape fr him telling him to look after Jill + to act on his behalf if smth were to happen to her. he calls Lawrence his greatest asset. his trust in John + the Jigsaw legacy is unwavering.

Amanda, however, has been shown several times to act directly against John's beliefs, such as constructing inescapable traps (Kerry) or rigging others' games (Adam). th breakdown she has in III I think showcases the disconnect between her love fr John as a mentor/father figure, and the realization that not only is John entirely hypocritical and doesn't stay true to his own beliefs half th time, he truly has shown no regard fr her safety + has only been using her to further the agenda that was built upon a fragile foundation 2 begin with. u've mentioned this b4 too but John always liked 2 say that if u can anticipate the human mind, then nothing is up 2 chance - which wld mean that he KNEW Xavier might throw Amanda into the Needle Pit to get out of it. he KNEW Daniel was just a fucking kid and was perfectly fine w putting him in very real danger to get back at some1 he felt like needling fr the express purpose of provocation and nothing else. he KNEW Laura, a woman she'd formed a bond w and pretty much swore to protect th minute she woke up and saw her crying in the corner, could begin to seize n choke on her own vomit and die in that house. he knew all of those things, ENCOURAGED the belief that smth was wrong w her because she wasn't "fixed" as he had claimed, and it's so unfortunate that she doesn't realize that sooner (I fully agree that she deserved to lose her shit completely on John. it's what he deserved! it's what SHE deserved!!!) but she still Does before she dies (which, again, I Don't think should've happened. she didn't deserve 2 go out like tht + she deserved so much more of her story being told).

so there's the conflict of beliefs between thm. I think Amanda definitely starts out like Lawrence does, completely devoted + believing every word John says, but thru II we can see that certainty begin to falter n her faith in John is completely shaken by the end. I don't think Lawrence wld Know she felt tht way until after she died, if he ever finds out at all, bc I doubt that's smth she'd want to express. it's not even smth she discusses w John himself until III, in which she's already made up her mind to shoot Lynn as a final act of misguided disobedience. I still think tht Lawrence wld feel fr her in some way, though, bc even b4 he became a disciple he was rather horrified when Sing + Tapp had him sit thru her testimony; his feelings would change on this a lil, bc he'd see it as her rebirth (as she once did too), but I still feel like he'd want 2 like. watch over her a little. not super directly, + not because he felt threatened by her presence or anything like that, but because they're in this together n I'm sure John's told him abt some of the circumstances regarding how she came to be a disciple after her game as well. I feel like he wld definitely be saddened by her passing, bc I feel he'd come 2 respect her at least a bit, but fr him it's like. they have 2 keep moving. John is gone now too, smth I'm sure was probably a pretty huge blow fr Lawrence, and now he has to put his energy into making sure Hoffman stays unaware of him. just in case he has to act on that warning John gave him abt Jill. but he wld still miss Amanda n wld mourn her, to be sure.

I don't think they'd be close or anything like tht. kind of just friendly coworkers who only see each other every once in a while, passing thru the doors of each other's lives with a nod and a wave and maybe a greeting if they're feeling up 2 it. they're not too involved. Amanda can't tell u tht Lawrence's favourite flowers are sunflowers. Lawrence can't tell u tht Amanda's favourite smell is lavender or tht her favourite colour is a deep, almost greyish purple. but they're connected thru John, thru their work, n that still means smth to both of them, at least in some manner. when Amanda dies, Lawrence grieves. Jill pays for her headstone n Lawrence makes sure to bring fresh flowers every once in a while, but he has to hold his head up n keep walking. now tht John's gone, there's work to be done.

and someone's gotta keep an eye on Hoffman.

#saw #amanda #lawrence #mandy makes me so fucking sad she deserved so much better #mainly to go ape shit on john #but just. better in general #tysm!!! I don't often get 2 talk abt mandy dkjfkds #yr right it is MUCH funnier 2 consider tht mandy n lawrence knew each other but nobody told hoffman abt lawrence #tht's what u get mr. hoffman!!#long post kinda? not as much as my other ones but #u know #asks

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madmeridian · 3 years

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hm, idk if this is exactly wild, but maybe an atla au?? for meronia??

ahahahahaha okay i was so fucking excited about this i accidentally wrote a 1,900ish word fic... oops. i hope you like it! i kinda just made it in the atla universe and not like a direct fusion bc i got this idea for it. also italics are flashbacks and non italics are present day! okay pls enjoy

“Near? I’m heading out for work.”

There was no response for a second and Mello nearly thought that Near wasn’t going to respond, but he rounded the corner just as Mello took a half-step out the door. The restless night had left Near exhausted and Mello hoped he’d at least go back to sleep after.

“I’ll see you when you get home,” Near murmured, not quite looking at him.

“Take it easy today.” Mello held his arms out, inviting, and Near stepped into them without hesitation.

“I can’t,” Near said. Mello could practically hear the grimace in his voice. “I have orders to fill.”

Near hadn’t been particularly interested in any of the work Ba Sing Se had to offer, considering most of it was either customer service or construction work. But people in the Middle Ring, as well as a few from the Upper Ring, had taken a liking to his craftwork, so he’d started his own little business.

“At least get a nap in.” Mello kissed Near’s forehead. “Promise me.”

“I’ll try,” was all Near offered before he walked away, leaving Mello in the doorway alone.

The streets of the city were busy, as they usually were in the mornings, especially where they lived. Mello walked through them silently. The people who had come to know him greeted him cheerfully and asked after Near.

When they’d first met him, Mello had been cold to them, suspicious. After all, he didn’t want them to know that there were two fugitives in their midst and he couldn’t give anything away. If they were found, they were dead.

Though they were still on edge, Mello and Near had warmed up to the people, mainly after discovering they were mostly harmless. Not to mention, they hadn’t seen their own pictures in any of the wanted signs around Ba Sing Se.

“Get some more sleep, you looked exhausted,” one of their neighbors called to him jokingly. Mello feigned a smile and nodded. Near had been struggling with nightmares since they’d arrived at Ba Sing Se and as long as he wasn’t sleeping, Mello wasn’t either. He couldn’t let him suffer alone, not when it was partially his fault.

-----

Mello was certainly not a fan of the freezing temperatures, cold wind whipping against his face. Similarly, his fellow Fire Nation soldiers shivered and groaned, though all of them fell silent when their commander walked past.

The Southern Water Tribe, diminished as it was, still had capable waterbenders, and it was their mission to capture or kill them. Mello had been on plenty of raids before, but never to either of the water tribes. He was interested to see how well they would fare against the Fire Nation.

Judging by the mass scrambling that was going on when the ship came close enough to the Tribe, it didn’t seem like things were going to go all that well for them.

Mello ignored the feeling of guilt that was creating a pit in his stomach. Part of him had always abhorred the raids, the pain they brought on others, but he was a soldier and pity had no place in him.

Screams began to rise up when the ship finally docked and a flood of soldiers descended on the Tribe.

-----

Mello shook the memory away and focused on what he was doing. None of the retail jobs would hire him, apparently because he was too intimidating to work with anyone, so he’d settled for construction. Though, he would have to admit, there was something therapeutic about hammering a nail into place.

“Hey, come eat lunch with us,” one of the other workers called to him. “It’s break time, man.”

Part of him wanted to tell them to fuck off and leave him alone. But, that wouldn’t bode well for his job, nor for blending in. Things weren’t the same in Ba Sing Se as he was used to. Adapting had taken some getting used to, but he’d gotten good at being less rude.

“Sure thing,” Mello said, plastering on a fake, polite face. “Just give me a few minutes to finish this up.”

The others nodded, smiling at him with approval. Whether or not they liked him wasn’t really a concern of his, but it was smart to stay on their good side. Blend in.

The last thing he needed was to get on someone’s bad side and get ratted out because of it.

-----

“Please,” the white-haired man had said, holding out his hands. “I’ll tell you where the waterbenders are if you let them go.” The children in the corner cowered away from Mello, from his flaming hand, and the other that held a sword.

“If you’re lying, I’ll kill you,” Mello sneered. Still, he waved the kids out. They ran, crying and yelling. The pit in his stomach made itself known again. “So, where are they?”

“I don’t know where the others are,” the man began, “but I’m one. I only didn’t tell you because I’d thought you’d kill them.” To prove his point, he directed an arc of water in the air. Mello grabbed his arm and dragged him out.

“That’s all I need to know,” he said through gritted teeth, wishing that the man hadn’t just given himself up like that. He’d seen the prisons and knew what happened to waterbenders. The guy would be executed or kept in a cage.

Either way, his end would be miserable.

-----

“You’re home late,” Near noted. Mello grunted and flopped down in a kitchen chair.

“I got kept up by my coworkers,” he said, watching as Near poured him a cup of tea. “They’re a talkative bunch and I’m trying not to be rude to them.”

“You, trying not to be rude?” Near asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done to my Mello?”

“Oh shut up,” Mello huffed. “I’d imagine if they liked me, they wouldn’t report me if they saw my face on a wanted poster.”

“That’s smart.” Near gave him the tiniest bit of a smirk. “And maybe if you’re less mean you’ll actually be able to get a job at a shop instead.”

“Please, as if you’d be able to. You’re just as bad as I am.”

“Hardly. Now come on, you promised me a game of Pai Sho.”

-----

“You’re telling me, out of all of you, only one waterbender was captured,” the commander shouted. “One! It’s pathetic. It’s a fucking disgrace. Keehl, you’re excused for now. Go guard your prisoner. The rest of you will stay here.”

Mello was more than happy to escape the scene, the commander’s anger boiling in the air. It was all luck that he was the only one to have caught a waterbender.

Said waterbender watched him with wide gray eyes as he approached the cell. He didn’t seem at all fazed by his capture, nor his captor standing in front of him.

Mello turned his back once he got to the cell, standing there as he’d been taught, straight back and searching eyes.

“My name is Near,” the prisoner spoke up. Some were more talkative and some didn’t try. Mello hated the talkative ones. He was always sad to see them go. “I think you should at least tell me yours.”

“And why’s that?” Mello asked quietly.

“So when I go to prison, I can tell everyone about the man who caught me, in case one of them escapes and finds you one day. So they can get revenge for me,” Near said dryly.

“Very convincing.” Mello paused, before looking down at the man for a brief second. “It’s Mello.”

“Did you do that to yourself or was that someone else?” Near pointed to Mello’s scar. “It looks like it hurt a lot when it happened.”

“Someone else,” Mello said gruffly. “And yeah, it hurt.”

“I appreciate you not doing it to me.” Near offered quietly, “you don’t seem very evil. I thought you’d be much harder to talk to.”

“Don’t get too comfortable.”

-----

“I win, again,” Near said smugly. Mello crossed his arms, glowering.

“I’m almost certain that the only reason you ask to play this is solely to piss me off.”

“Then you’re wrong. I play with you because you’re the only one who gets close enough to beat me. Mind you, you have won a few times.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know that. I fucking hate losing though and you know that,” Mello grumbled. Then he yawned, stretching. “I’m exhausted.”

Near was quiet for a moment, looking at Mello blankly, then frowning.

“You shouldn’t have stayed up with me last night. You need sleep.”

“You need sleep too and you fall back asleep better when I’m up too,” Mello argued. “Not to mention, it’s my fault. I’m gonna keep staying up with you.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Near shot back, crossing his arms.

“Come on, let’s just get some sleep,” Mello said, getting up and heading to the bedroom.

-----

The commander had made a huge mistake. He’d constantly put Mello on guard duty for Near, since the rest of the soldiers were doing grunt work they normally wouldn’t as punishment.

And Mello had gotten… attached. More so than he usually did with prisoners.

So, on his next shift, he’d carefully snuck the keys to the cell away. When he got to the cell, he crouched down low. Near tipped his head in curiosity. He’d smiled a bit, but his face was much more thin and gaunt than it had been.

It made Mello’s heart ache in a way he didn’t quite understand.

“You don’t have family in your tribe, right?” Mello already knew the answer, from their talks, but had to make sure.

“I told you I was an orphan,” Near said, a little crease forming between his brows. “Why?”

“How do you feel about Ba Sing Se?” Mello whispered, holding out the keys. Near leaned forwards, grabbing the bars. A twist of disbelief and relief made his eyes widen.

“Can we get off safely?” Near asked, one hand trembling, reaching out.

“We dock in an hour and I know every inch of this ship. They won’t know we’re gone until my shift is over. Three hours after we’ll leave here.”

Four hours later, the alarm bells sounded on the ship for their escaped prisoner. Neither Mello or Near were there to hear it. They were on their way to Ba Sing Se.

To freedom.

-----

Mello had never been Near’s night guard, but he’d never heard anything about him having nightmares from the man who was. He’s not sure the man would’ve been able to tell. Mello is a light sleeper, luckily, so when Near starts to gasp and whimper, he wakes immediately.

It happens like clockwork. Near has a nightmare, Mello wakes up, then Near does too, and then they sit there. Mello just waits for Near to calm and talk to him. Near’s told him several times that’s all he needs to do, is just give him a minute, and Mello is glad to.

Near’s nightmares vary. Sometimes it’s the raid, playing over again in his head, his people’s blood staining the snow of his home. Other times, it’s on the ship, and Mello dies. They aren’t free and Near is sent to his grave too. And sometimes it’s incomprehensible, just horrors over and over.

Mello waits for Near to talk, smoothing his unruly hair back and holding him close.

“I’m sorry,” Near whispers. He always says that, and Mello always says the same thing back.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Near.”

Near is quiet for another moment, leaning against Mello’s side and blinking slowly in the moonlight. His eyes almost look silver and Mello has to sort of bite his tongue to compliment them because he’s not sure it’s the best time to flirt.

“Thank you for staying up with me,” Near says slowly. “I know I said you shouldn’t but… it helps.”

“It’s what I’m here for. We’re in this together, Near.” Mello kisses Near’s forehead and hugs him tight.

Mello sees the tiny smile Near tries to hide and smiles too, genuine for what felt like the first time that day.

#this wasnt meant to be this long #also i have another ficlet i will do tomorrow #bc i am dead now #I LOVED WRITING THIS THO THANK YOU #LIKE A TON #I love atla so #i accidentally wrote 19000 but i mean 1900

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kisskissbanggang · 4 years

Note

I just woke up from a nap and let me say—political android Jaehyun is a crazy idea. In my dream he killed my coworkers in a planned destruction of scientific data, but got scared of himself and was hiding in my office so I went back 3 days later to go recover what I could and poor boy was scanning and reprinting all the data he destroyed because he felt bad so I brought him into my home and recovered the data with him and then his ai was great but I didn’t know that yet (part 1)

Move along, nothing to see here unless you want to see Lexi’s incredible nap-dream play out and then me screaming about it. 💕

I was just being me, nice to robots, but I started to do more research on the ai his model had, and had him destroy my search histories and found out that I could remove his “person chip” so he could go back to work and have most of his memories that were positive wiped so he was able to continue his government work while he was feeding me information, and the government found out I didn’t die so I lied and faked my support of their actions and they brought me into the ranks (part 2)

But he still preferred to come to my place most nights so I would replace his person chip when he came into my home and we became friends and he expressed that he always wanted to know about human feelings like having parents and pets and falling in love so one night I asked him if he wanted to lay in my bed with my cat since she’d gotten used to him being around and so he laid in my bed and was all stiff and didn’t know what to do because inexperienced robot (part 3)

And he asked what cuddling was like but he was all stiff so I resituated his body to be okay for cuddling and snuggled him and told him to research “body language” and 2 minutes later he moved himself again and wrapped his arms around me because he learned about body language and I kept telling him keywords to research about intimate human interaction and interacting with pets until I fell asleep in his arms and when I woke up (part 4)

He was in my kitchen with breakfast prepared waiting for me and sitting on my couch, petting my cat whom he befriended overnight 😂 and we watched the news about the government again and he said to me “you don’t really like it do you” and I was engulfed in my eggs and said “no I love what you cooked but fuck that guy” at [insert gov official here] and he said “how come you work for them now” and i said “I need a job because my other one was destroyed” and he got all glum looking (part 5)

And he said “I didn’t want to do it, but they decide my actions when I’m in uniform” and I said “I know I don’t blame you for what they make you do” and he said “How can I learn about them to decide if I like them or not?” And I gave him keywords about the government to research and he came back and said “oh those conspiracies are true I saw it with my own eyes” and I said “well shit then I hate them even more” and he asked about keywords to learn about morality (part 6)

And he ended up mentioning his creator and I remembered learning about how that guy was murdered by his creation (Jaehyun) because the government made him, but that that creator always created both the most powerful androids but also the most ethical and I asked him if it was true and he said it was true and that he regrets his actions everyday and that’s why he wouldn’t ever hurt me. He talked about how mean the gov was to him and how I was the only nice person he knew since his creator(part 7)

And it became this cute thing in the mornings, I’d take out his person chip while I adjusted his collar similar to a spouse putting on a tie and he’d go off to work before me and then I’d go off to work and get back before him so when he’d come home I’d loosen up his shirt and put his person chip back in and he’d turn back into a docile friend and one day we ended up “meeting” at work because I reached a higher rank and we had to pretend we didn’t know each other (part 8)

But as time went on the government was still shitty and made him do not great things and my job got slightly less ethical as days passed but I was getting paid a lot more and Jaehyun told me about the plans to destroy the low income neighborhood I lived in to remove those people from the planet and make everyone else there homeless so I took a personal leave from work to both move and also warn everyone there (20% of them outright believed me—they thought I was a crazed scientist) (part 9)

But I moved into a nicer area that wasn’t getting destroyed and that neighborhood was destroyed but only 5 people died, but that was because they thought they could take on the android, but also one elderly lady never made it out even though my neighbor promised to get her out so I was devastated about her loss, Jaehyun could tell something was off and did research on the event and learned about the old lady’s death (who he killed ofc) and felt sadness for the first time in his life (part 10)

Eventually I’m to the point at work where my creation is being tested so I’m told to move back home to be safe and they’d give me a retirement for my work (I guess I lived on the east coast) but couldn’t take a plane because of Jaehyun so we were road tripping all the way back to North Dakota which Jaehyun loved because he never had to pee and could use the AC adapter in my car to top off his charge. He was a great GPS though (part 20)

But because of the global warming and regulations you could only drive 250 miles a day so we had to stop a lot and ended up at a lot of motels so they wouldn’t ask questions about my other guest since he had minimal ID and was theoretically meant to stay on the east coast and never move. And we ended up at this janky place and it spooked me out so Jaehyun actually laid with me again that night instead of just sitting at the desk charging like he did at other places (part 21)

And my car had issues so we ended up having to stay at that place a couple of nights but it was still v scary for me. We ended up going to a saloon near the motel for me to get food, Jaehyun came with because spooked) and they were having a dance night and Jaehyun had never danced before so I decided to teach him and he was having a great time and suddenly a slow song came on and I was so focused on teaching him how to slow dance that I didn’t notice how he was looking at me (part 22)

And so I finally feel like he’s got the footwork down and the song is half done and I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me and his dumb android lips are too great and part of me is revolted because I’m kissing a robot but also part of me loves Jaehyun more than I could ever love anyone I’d ever met because of his innocence and good morals and when he pulls away he looks shocked and he said “I just wanted to copy the movies I didn’t know I could feel that” and I laughed at him (part 23)

And when we got back to the motel and I’d washed up he was like “Can we do that again?” And it was the dumbest most cute thing ever and I sat on the bed with him standing in front of me, way too eager hoping I’d say yes and I nodded and he did a little dance before leaning back down to kiss me again and he kept going and eventually had my back on the bed with him over me, holding me as close to himself as he could and then the moment was ruined bc there was some guy rattling room doors (part 24)

I got spooked and Jaehyun guarded me with his body and the guy kept going and management called the room to apologize for the drunk guy who forgot his room # and I ended up just going to sleep. The next day my car was fixed and we were back on the road. Jaehyun kept touching his lips and opening his mouth to say something, but instead of speaking, he’d blush, look away, and close his mouth. He’d do this ad nauseum until I asked what he was thinking (part 25)

And he just asked “How do I know what love is?” And I choked on air, not expecting that question and I tried my best to describe it and gave up and said “You just know. You’d be devastated without them in your life and you enjoy being with them and you love all of their flaws.” And he asked if I loved Gladys and I said “Of course, platonically” and he asked the difference between platonic and romantic love and he said “I loved Gladys platonically too” (part 26)

I ended up going north to Wisconsin for some reason (I think there was a safety issue?) so it took a while to get anywhere but the day after we talked about love Jaehyun looks at me and says, “What if I think I romantically loved you?” And I pulled over, absolutely shocked by my own internal instinct to say “I love you too” and he looked at my face and sheepishly asked “So is now a good time to kiss again?” And we ended up making out on the side of the highway (part 27)

At that point in the dream it gets fuzzy, we get to the next motel, Jaehyun kisses me again, but puts his knee between my legs and when he moves and up moving against my groin and things escalated from there. The dream cuts to my parents meeting him and my dad having a weird vibe about him but not being sure what to think because the dogs think he’s cool. Piper bit his finger once and he didn’t flinch so my dad was like “????” But whatever he seemed like a nice boyfriend to me (part 28)

I end up telling my sister everything and my mom overheard the part about what my job was doing not about Jaehyun being a robot. My sister was understanding and my mom was worried about my work and told me that’s why she warned me about working at the Naval Academy. And between my sister, her husband, Jaehyun, and I, we came up with this plan to take over the government and it was crazy but Jaehyun had all the information to get into places since I backed him up (part 29)

Okay but OH MY GOD??? I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW INVESTED I ALSO JUST GOT IN YOUR NAP DREAM???????????? This had everything like it had stakes and drama and comedy and suspense and science and sex and what the hell it was a whole movie??? It was a whole miniseries??? ANDROID JAEHYUN WANTING TO LEARN WHAT LOVE IS WHAT AN IDEAAAA

I’ve said Android au’s are my jam I feel discombobulated in the best way this is like three different movies in one I’m still losing it BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP THINKING OF ANDROID JAEHYUN LOVING YOUR CAT HOLY SHIT

#mail #hellapainyo #my children #let me tell you!! this was a ride #and i wish to get right back on pls

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bittersweetmelxdy · 5 years

Text

Day 29: Surprise

fight me I’m not in the UK for day 29, so I am posting it now, bc your girl is not missing Gavin’s actual birthday fic. Also guess who literally screamed in frustration when she found out she’s on holiday for Gavin’s birthday event (it’s me), if there is a date for this card, they can take my money, I am getting whatever card they release if it comes with a date.

Words: 1736

You woke up this morning, at 4:30 to someone calling you, you blinked blearily, groping around your bedside table to try and silence your phone so you could just go back to sleep. You blinked at the blinding light of your phone and had to literally restrain yourself from throwing your phone at the wall seeing the name.

“Minor. What. Do. You. Want?” you spat into the phone.

“Hey, Boss Lady! You ready for today!” Minor replied in with too much pep for this early in the morning.

“Minor. Why are you calling me at 4:30?” you said still gritting your teeth.

“It’s Gavin’s Birthday Boss!”

“And? It’ll still be his birthday in a few hours from now. You know… when it’s a decent hour.” You deadpanned. “You don’t even put this much energy into work.”

Minor gasped scandalised at your blasé attitude.

“Listen Minor, I’ve got the whole thing sorted, now let me sleep.” You hung up the phone before Minor could reply to you.

You sighed and flopped back onto you bed, but soon turned your head to smile slightly at a small metal object glinting in the moonlight. It was the key to Gavin’s apartment; he had given it to you when you had asked him for it, ears bright red and only one condition “Do not let Minor into my apartment’. You blushed remembering how he had handed you the key so nonchalantly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, despite his clear embarrassment.

You had accidentally let slip at work that you had the key for Gavin’s apartment, much to your coworker’s amusement and outrage. Willow, Anna and Kiki had teased you mercilessly, cooing and poking fun at you, Minor had acted calm in front of everyone, but later had slammed his hands on your desk and demanded you tell him “How on earth did you get Gavin to give you his key, he won’t even tell me where he lives!”. Since that day, you had tried to avoid all talk about Gavin’s apartment with Minor, a feat that was growing increasingly difficult since Gavin’s birthday was growing closer and closer.

But you had managed it, even when Minor tried to convince you to celebrate Gavin’s birthday with a surprise party at his apartment. You had tactfully, countered with suggesting that since Minor was “Gavin’s best bro” he should plan something he “knows Gavin will love, the day after his birthday”, so excited at being acknowledged as Gavin’s “best bro”, Minor had walked off already planning his surprise for Gavin. ‘Gavin forgive me’ you had sighed, but at least you had managed to keep Gavin’s actual birthday clear for your plans.

You knew how much Gavin didn’t like big celebrations or his birthday, so you had planned accordingly, Gavin had mentioned he was a mission and wouldn’t be back until around 9 in the evening, so you were planning to go to his apartment, decorate the room, and treat him to a home cooked meal and cake, and then the two of you could spend the night stargazing, especially since Jupiter was going to be very bright this evening, hopefully it would bring back fond memories for Gavin of when you had gone on a star gazing date.

Around 10am you unlocked the front door of Gavin’s apartment, taking a deep breath before you stepped over the threshold, thinking how strange it was that you were here without Gavin. You looked around Gavin’s apartment, noting the space you had to work with. You placed your bags in the kitchen, and walked back to the living room, grabbing a broom on the way. After tidying up, you strung up some light up polaroid clips, the pictures depicting your various scenes from your dates, food, scenery and some of the two of you. You pursed your lips looking down at the last few, wondering if you should put them up, Gavin had mentioned he wanted to see some pictures of your childhood, so you had brought some with you, a couple from high school, and a few from when you were a small girl with muddy knees, messy hair and a big gap-toothed smile. You were a bit embarrassed by them, but if it made Gavin smile, it’d be worth it, you mused placing them in clips.

Heading back to the kitchen you spent the rest of the day cooking a nutritious meal for Gavin after his mission and baking the most ambitious thing you had made in your life, a galaxy mirror cake. The cake was the easy part, but you had to watch at least four videos, just to make sure the mirror glaze was correct. Since you were making it for Gavin you had to make it perfect, because he always does so much for you, and on his special day you just wanted it to be perfect for him, especially since it was the first birthday you were spending together.

As nine rolled around, you heard the sound of a key being turned in the lock, and you ran around in panic, nearly tripping over air, fixing a few minor things and then hid behind a potted plant (the only place you could find to hide in your panicked state). Gavin walked in and you held your breath and covered your mouth with your hand, hoping to erase your presence. Gavin stopped in the living room and looked around in silence, seeing this as your perfect moment, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath preparing to shout “Surprise!” when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and you were lifted clean off your feet, causing you to yell,

“Gavin! How did you know it was me!”

Gavin gently placed you back on your feet and turned you around so he could see your face, his hands still loosely wrapped around your waist.

“You are the only person you would break into someone’s house and clean and decorate the place.” He said nuzzling his nose against yours at the sight of your pout.

Although your surprise was clearly ruined, you perked up and with a bright smile lead Gavin by the hand and pushed him down onto the sofa. You then dramatically presented the dinner you had spent the day preparing, a plethora of dishes, ranging from mild spice to very spicy, you made sure to tell Gavin the spice level of each dish as you presented it and when you were done you sat on the floor opposite him, and just observed him. Gavin looked from you to the table, and repeated the process again, his eyes and his smile wide. The two of you said your thanks for the food and you dug in happily. Gavin made sure that throughout the meal he sampled each and every dish and offered compliments for each one, and each comment just endeared him more to you, and by the time the meal was over you face sported a rosy hue at his praise.

You stood up, gesturing at Gavin to stay put and he tilted his head in confusion, and you offered a soft smile in response. You picked up the plates and cleared the table, balancing the various plates, in preparation for the cake. You put the candles and lit them and carefully picked up the cake, as you walked into the living room, you sang ‘Happy Birthday’ softly, and placed the cake in front of Gavin. The soft candlelight made the mirror glaze sparkle just like a real galaxy, and Gavin’s eyes were so soft as he looked at the cake and then at you at the tail end of the song. The emotion shining through his usually guarded eyes, brought tears unknowingly to your own, and you only noticed when you felt Gavin’s calloused thumbs wiping away your tears.

“Gavin, quick you need make a wish.” You said in a almost whisper, leaning back and wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

Gavin smiled and blew out the candles before excitedly grabbing the knife and cutting a piece of the cake. He picked up some on his fork and instead of eating it himself he brought it up to your mouth. You furrowed your brows slightly, and Gavin bumped the forked against your lips lightly, until you opened your mouth and Gavin fed you a piece of the cake. Your eyes lit up in delight at how well the cake turned out, and at your clear show of delight, Gavin snorted in amusement, and placed a piece in his own mouth to taste. You clasped your hands under your chin and anticipated his reaction, Gavin ate the rest of his piece in silence looking down at his plate, and then after using his thumb to wipe his lips, he glanced nervously at you.

“You… you did all this for me?” Gavin whispered, almost reverently.

Tears welled up in your eyes at his nervousness, “I told you, didn’t I? I’ll spend every birthday with you from now on, and I’ll make every one of them special.”

Gavin stood up abruptly, and picked you from the floor, spinning you around whilst keeping you in a firm bridal carry. His pure laughter bounced off the walls, and after placing you back on you feet, he cradled you face in his hands, as if you were the most precious thing he had ever seen, and placed a flurry of kisses all over your face, eliciting a fit of giggles from you. He then rested his forehead against yours and looked directly into your eyes.

“Love, this was amazing. You are amazing. Thank you.”

You averted your eyes from Gavin for a second and a shooting star caught your eye, you gasped and ran to the window, hands gently resting on the windowpane. Gavin followed you, holding you from behind, arms around your waist, and rested his head lightly atop yours.

“Gavin, look a shooting star! You get an extra wish!” You whispered excitedly, lifting your eyes and tilting your head back to catch his gaze.

Gavin huffed in amusement.

“I don’t need them; I’ve got everything I could ever wish for right here.” Gavin finished his sentence with a kiss to your temple, and the two of you spent the rest of the evening watching the stars in a content silence.

#mlqc gavin #love and producer #mr love queen's choice #gavin month #mlqc scenarios

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saltywithsarcasm · 4 years

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When I was a freshman, I had a senior neckbeard who was creepy asf- always insisted on walking me home and being very touchy even though I was uncomfortable, followed me around, tried to catfish me while pretending to be my crush online even though I never told him about my crush. He acted like he was better than me bc he was a dude, def the know-it-all type and friends with some of my friends so I couldn’t really avoid him. I know how it can be,, so YEAH I GET UR POSITION. Love you Salty! 💕

I have a whole story about a neckbeard I ran into and now I don’t trust them.

It all started back in 2017 when me, my sister and a couple of our friends went to a convention together, we were all pretty excited and ready to put on our cosplays that we’ve been working all year on.

The first day of the con was great, we were all having a fun time, eating junk from food trucks, staying up late with other cosplayers at panels and we even got to meet an actor from the Anime, Black Butler. It was going pretty well.

The second day was when we met him.

I can’t really remember what cosplay I was wearing at the time but I know this guy was cosplaying a character from the same fandom and he came up to me wanting a photo which I agreed to since that’s what people did at conventions.

After the photo was taken, me and my friend went along our business. I remember going to the artists alley afterwards because I wanted to see if they had any prints that I could hang up on my wall back at home. I remember buying this cute cat-bat plush and a few posters drawn by some local artists, even followed them on their social media so I could be updated what to look forward to next year.

Later that day we all met up and hauled all our junk back to the room, pretty tired from all the activities they had that day and decided to change into comfortable clothes. I got change into my pjs pretty quickly and wanted to go down to the food court to get something to eat so I went ahead down by myself while the others were still changing out of their cosplays.

Since we were in the third floor, I had to take an elevator which took forever to wait on but eventually it came up to my floor and to my dismay, there was a guy by himself inside. Not to be mean, I’m just not a really people-person and was already socially exhausted from being at the con all day but I didn’t want to wait for the elevator again so I got in and hit the floor button.

Instantly after the doors close this guy is asking about the con, if I was having fun, if I dressed up, who was I cosplaying. All the sort of stuff, which was understandable because people have a great time at conventions so I answered him, turns out he was the guy who asked me for a photo earlier that day and we thought it was pretty cool that we bumped into each other again. We chatted for a bit until he arrived at the second floor.

After that I just went to the food court and got something to eat, sister and my friends came down shortly after that and we brought our food back to the room to watch Yuri on Ice for the night.

The guy didn’t cross my mind for the rest of the con, not until it was over and we went home, running into him at our local supermarket. Turns out he lived in our hometown as well, which we thought was pretty cool. Made a new friend who was into the same fandoms we liked, cosplayed and lives in town. Pretty cool, huh?

We started hanging out after, playing dnd and even did stuff like hanging out at the mall. Pretty much everything normal friends did.

It wasn’t until a few months later, he started to get on everyone’s nerves because turns out, he was whiny, wanted everyone to pity him but also wanted all of us to worship the ground he stood on like he was sort of protagonist from an anime.

Even started to telling us who we should cosplay and how we should cosplay for the next con, even told my sister she shouldn’t go as a character she liked because he already planned to.

It was really obnoxious and though we did still hung out, we didn’t as much as we used to.

After that, on one of our barely rare occasions we did hang out with him again, I remember him telling me about his new girlfriend and about her moving in with him soon, me telling him that it was pretty cool and even congratulated them. Then he asks me if I’m seeing anyone, I told him my sexual orientation and yes, I was single but wasn’t really looking for a relationship, even had to tell him before I only liked him as a friend when I noticed he started being overly friendly towards me early on; I was happy being single and didn’t really have any intentions of changing that anytime soon.

I don’t really like repeating myself but I know a few people tend to like to flip these sort of things onto the victims and sympathize with the guys by claiming “you should have just told him you weren’t interested or you were leading him on”.

Oh no, it was nothing like that. I already told him I wasn’t interested in him earlier on, he knew that I didn’t like him like that because I flat out told him.

Later that night I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post the guy shared, a photo stating “share if you have no problem dating a person with this sexuality” or something like that. I thought this was really strange considering I told him only hours ago and not to mention, he told me that he was moving in with his new girlfriend.

It was a red flag and I remember texting my sister about it shortly after. She replies rather quickly, telling me she felt weird vibes from him too, even mention that he was a little too touchy-feely with her while we played dnd, like trying to put his arm around her or his hand on her thigh. She told me she told him to stop and would swat his hand away.

There was even one time he wanted to get drunk at our house while we played dnd and I kind of felt like it was just an excuse so he could stay a night at our place, we told him no; In which he replies we should get drunk at his place, we told him no again because I wasn’t born yesterday and could see his shady intentions from a mile away.

It only got worse from there, weeks later some of his coworkers started approaching me and my sister when they saw us in public and told us some of the things he was saying about us, things you wouldn’t say about your “friends” and the most creepy part was that they told us that he liked us both and want to date me and my sister as “a set”.

We were repulsed by this, so we didn’t hang out him anymore after that.

I really wish I could say that was the end of it but it wasn’t.

Though we quit hanging out with him, he would keep messaging us wanting to hang out more. I came up with more or less excuses like I was busy with some of my art projects or I’d just tell him I didn’t want to hang out with him.

I didn’t even see him until a few months afterwards when I was hanging with another guy friend, my best friend name, lets call him Keith for now.

Me and Keith had just finished a all horror movie marathon, which pretty much all we ever did when I hung out at his house but we were getting pretty hungry and decided to go get some food at the restaurant nearby.

It was a pretty big restaurant and was a little busy but thankfully there was nobody at the register so we both went up to take our order, me first because Keith was deciding what he wanted to eat.

It wasn’t until after we got our food that I noticed the creepy dude was even there because Keith told me some guy was staring at us awfully hard. It was eerie so we left and went back to his house to eat.

Hours later I get a message on Facebook from the guy, asking about who I was with and basically demanding to know what our relationship was.

I told him it was none of his business but he wouldn’t let it go so I told him Keith was my best friend and left it at that, I didn’t reply anymore because it wasn’t any of his concern who I was with and I just didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

None of us spoke to him much even when we saw him in public and he tried to speak with us; we were all just done with him and he just wouldn’t take the hint.

Few months later the conversation was coming up again, so I spent most of my time working on my cosplay and listening to music and unfortunately when we went to the con, he was there too.

We didn’t let this bother us though, we were all having a fun time like we normally did when we went to these things, people came up to us complimenting our outfits and chatted with us; we all almost forgot he was there.

That is until on night there, me and a friend were just sitting in the bar area in our pjs while everyone else went to either a panel or the rave. We were talking and showing each other what we had bought from artist alley until my friend was glancing behind me and I turn but I didn’t see what she was looking at until I noticed the fucking creep staring down at us from a balcony; we got up and moved out of his line of vision, pretending not to notice him.

At some point, one of our other friends met up with us and we told her about it. It was creepy but still, we didn’t let it ruin our night and we all just decided to go to rave to hang out with the others.

When the music got too loud, me and the friend who was spending time with me at the bar before decided to go back to our room for the night but on our way there, we ran into him. He was wanting to hang out but we told him we were heading in for the night and he tries to follow along, wanting to find out where our room was and wanting to come inside.

We rushed back, ignoring him.

After the con, his girlfriend starts messaging me, telling me she broke up with him and told me some of the most fucked up, creepiest shit he’s said about wanting to do to me, her and my sister.

I was beyond furious, never wanted to hurt someone so badly in my life and it only got worse when she told me about the photos.

Apparently while we were all still friends, he would sneak photos of me while I was leaning down to play with the cat, pictures I hadn’t even known about until she told me. She even showed me them, they weren’t made up, I saw them.

I blew up, messaging him over Facebook messager, screaming at him and calling him out on every creepy bullshit he’s pulled on us for the past year and of course, he has the nerve to deny it all and blame the photos on his ex, claiming she did it for blackmail because they had a bad break up.

I’m not fucking stupid, we hadn’t hung out with him for months and the only time they could have been taken was before this bad break up.

Not going to lie, she was over a few times but the ex was an air head; no way she could have been smart enough to want to plan blackmail ahead before anything went south between them; so I knew the whole “she did it to make me look bad” was bullshit but to play it safe, I cut them both out of my life.

Put them both in a group chat and told them that I was done and couldn’t trust either of them, I blocked them both. Someone did take a picture of me without my knowledge or consent; I felt violated and I’m pretty fucking sure I know which one of them it was.

I don’t talk to either of them anymore but to my inconvenience, I still do see pathetic excuse of a human being time to time.

Hopefully he’s smart enough to keep his distance from me but then again; he wasn’t smart enough to tell the difference between flirting and rejection.

Don’t ever force yourself to spend time with people who make you uncomfortable and to all those who go to cons, please be careful because even if you meet new people and they seem pretty cool, you don’t really know them and they can turn out to be a predator.

This person gave me severe trust issues.

#there’s a lot more that he’s done but I don’t want to talk about it #salty replies #personal life stuff #long post #saltywithsarcasm #tw neckbeard

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96xie · 4 years

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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literaphobe · 5 years

Note

i don’t want to be invasive or anything but what about the episode was an issue? (Sorry if this bothers you 🙁)

i think my biggest issue was how the b plot just really clashed w the a plot? like (am putting some of my thoughts down here bc u know who cares):

amy solving a sexual assault case vs holt catching an 80 year old w a determination that stemmed from a rivalry rather than a need to keep streets safe

amy working so hard on the case mostly on her own (occasional advice from rosa, jake she had to sort of convince not to drop the case by telling her own experiences) vs terry and charles devoting themselves to whole-heartedly helping holt w an investigation that wasn’t even a case that frankly wasn’t even important and the episode wasn’t at all self aware about how almost pointless it was to even. pursue this

jake having to hear about amy’s experiences w sexual harassment before choosing to devote himself to working the case and not dropping it even though. he literally has worked several times harder for cases w far less stakes. and it kind of. maybe. idk maybe i’m thinking too deeply about this but. it perpetuates the Men Can Only Care About Women’s Issues If They Personally Know A Woman thing and like. so it feels like the show is inadvertently saying that if jake hypothetically was working this case alone he would have dropped it? he would have reduced it to a whole sometimes cases don’t get solved situation and left it at that? and this went ignored

a plot being about how women go unheard and their words ignored, their intentions misconstrued vs b plot where only woman involved is accused (by a man) of falling for a man’s charms and doing his bidding (and he’s proven RIGHT) and that’s literally the entire purpose she serves in the plot. she does what a man wants and suffers and has no ulterior motive

jake getting an ‘i love you’ from amy bc he watched a documentary about feminism,,,,,, uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,, why are we rewarding men for the bare minimum again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

me being v uneasy when amy pushed that lady to press charges bc yeah she’s a white woman in a sort of position of power and she has money but also. in the real world i truly don’t feel like a case like that would’ve gotten such a deus ex machina and for most of the ep when watching you can’t help feeling that amy made the wrong choice somehow even though you know that this is a show where the characters Win

jake and amy being shocked that the woman whose case they solved would have the audacity to quit their job after worked so hard to get her job back and her reasons being change in perceptions from her coworkers --> she will never be considered for promotions,,, failing to address that hey,,, maybe people don’t tend to want to work at places where they were sexually assaulted? where they were sexually harassed? and it’s strange for the show to have THIS be the reason and have amy react to the lady quitting the same way jake did even though she herself transferred to the 9-9 for reasons along that line (the lady’s being hostile work environment, amy’s being quid pro quo, aka the two types of sexual harassment)

ep could’ve benefitted more if they did this one before chelsea left, an extra main female character voice could’ve brought more to the discussion

ep makes the corporate office folk (eg beefer who turned in evidence only for their own gain plus the guy who said the money was offered not as hush money but to fix that lady’s problems???) the bad guys bc yes they are bad but fails to acknowledge how a big reason sexual assault cases get thrown out is bc the police brush them off, there’s no mention or inclusion of how that’s an issue etc etc the perspectives there were largely To Sue or Not To Sue

jfc there really shouldn’t have been a b plot at all this episode could’ve covered so much more ground if the episode just focused on this case or maybe brought in a further complexity that wouldn’t have made it seem like this is the first ever sexual assault case their precinct has gotten bc. this happens a lot

and bc of that this ep feels like a cash grab

#ask #like yeah ik i went off a bit n like #no hate its just #my genuine initial thoughts on this ep #wanted to have a brain cell for a sec #Anonymous

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allurascastle · 7 years

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There isn't any shame in being upset about somebody who's harassing you. I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope everything works out with the restraining order, or that that guy just leaves you alone in general. Take care.

Aww, thank you! It makes me feel a little better for you to say it, I just…really hate having emotions and being effected by things. Boo.

Admittedly, I’m 60% sure most of my response to this is because this isn’t the typical kind of creeping. THAT I can deal with just fine. This is…wow. Just downright unsettling. (And the conversation we’d been having immediately before the one that sent me into fight or flight mode really just makes the whole thing worse.)

This dude, who I’ll from now on identify as Logan, was someone I first met in early May if I had to guess. It was before Ethan was sent to jail.

(Context of Ethan: he’s one of my two older brothers, who are twins. He is very much the problem child of our family, and is the one getting into legal trouble and drugs all the damn time, is abusive, self-centered, and delusional. Overall: awful person and has done enough shit to warrant me saying he deserves the life sentence he may very well be getting. Back to the story.)

I’m not sure why Logan was in the infant’s diaper aisle, he didn’t grab anything and just tried chatting with me, but he recognised me pretty much on sight (in retrospect, my name isn’t a very common one and we wear name badges, he could have pieced it together from that - and I say that because it was a little too fast for having been three years…or maybe not) as being Ethan’s sister. I say “tried chatting with me” because the second someone utters Ethan’s name, I’m all but gone. I hate him and want nothing to do with him and hia fucking friends need to leave me alone. (But I was at work, so I said “yes, now how may I help you?” and then left with “good night, I have work to do.”)

At the time, I assumed he was one of Ethan’s recent friends. He goes through them like toilet paper, as you’d expect from a serial abuser, and is really great at convincing him he’s great and swell. They never listen and frankly, 8 years of no one listening to you will just have you throwing your hands up in the air and saying “go get your fucking self esteem ruined away from me, idgaf.”

Now…Ethan has this habit of talking about us (the family) and showing off pictures (last I checked), so I chalked it up to that, fumed, angrily ranted with a friend and moved on.

Saw Logan a few other times. He asked me how Ethan was doing once and I angrily snapped “I don’t know, I don’t talk to him.” To which he responded: “that’s a shame, he’s a great guy.” I had no answer appropriate for my workplace so I just walked away from the fitting room with none of the items I intended to put away. I think I saw him one more time before this most recent* time, but I don’t remember any of it.

*the most recent time would be earlier today, 9/24, but I am actually referring to the incident, which happened around 8:10PM on 9/19.

So…the incident. It started off innocently enough - and at this point, I should mention I had bad vibes about this dude already, but brushed them off because he obviously wasn’t neurotypical (which made me disgusted with Ethan, but I wasn’t shocked), I’d guess on the autistic spectrum if I really had to: just the way he talked and seemed to process things.

But so, I figured it was good ol’ social ableism and told myself “you’re better than that” and was friendly with him bc a) it was my job, b) I had no reason to be rude but if he brought my brother the fuck up again I was GONE, okay, GONE. I ain’t here for that shit. I like my life drama-free. I should ALSO mention that thos whole time, spanning a few months, I didn’t know his name AND I was under the assumption he’s the one who turned Ethan into the troopers for the Rikki fiasco, and in my eyes, that was a bit of a redemption most Ethan’s friends would never get.

I really wish I’d just…listened to that bad vibe and gtfo of dodge. At first, he strolled up to Fitting Room while my coworker, an older gal named Sharon, with a cart of Halloween decorations and said he was just in the store buying some Halloween stuff and proceeded to tell Sharon about what he was going to be for Halloween, emphasising that it was the scariest thing he could imagine (turned out to be a “dark Flash” from Flash a few years ago. Idk bc I’m not really into superhero TV shows or movies. Doesn’t sound scary to me, but whatever. We all have different things that really spook us).

We somehow got onto the subject of a kidnapping that’d happened in the area, and from there some dude has apparently been reported watching female employees leaving at night from the parking lot (creepy, and I didn’t know that, but I also get picked up because I don’t have my licence yet). And from there, I mentioned some things to do in that sort of situation, and the conversation shifted towards the subject of kidnap AND rape (he mentioned that it happened to his friend’s niece when she was thirteen and that it broke his heart. This is the only thing that really sticks out from this part of the conversation and for a reason).

Sharon leaves, and Logan starts talking about his relationship woes and saying how when he’s around girls he likes, he gets flustered and starts pouring his heart out - and mentions a specific time he did this with a long time female friend of his and he starts bemoaning about how the friendship they’d had for so long was just gone. (I politely asked him if she had reacted cruelty, because - and I SAID this - there was no reason for the friendship to be gone since she didn’t reciprocate, after all she wasn’t obligated to. He said that she was but…the way he said it sounded Bad.) And then onto cheating (I told him no one deserved to be cheated on while trying to edge away, because dudes getting onto the friendzone is a huge red flag, and then going onto cheating? B y e) and he mentions he caught his recent* fiance cheating on him (and specified that he caught her walking up to some dude. Er…I hoped I was just missing some context from that, but I’m not giving the benefit of the doubt on it).

And then. AND THEN he says this: “You know, I was really into you a few years ago, but your brother said not to try because of the age gap.”

My alarm bells were already going off, but my blood went cold as ICE at this.

I’m eighteen, a few years ago I was fifteen. I hadn’t EVER met this dude, and I commit all of Ethan’s friends to memory so I can avoid them. Also, nice hypocrisy, Ethan (Rikki is either 14 or 15 right now. He’s in jail for dating and fucking her).

Let me emphasise I THOUGHT THIS WAS A RECENT FRIEND OF ETHAN’S WHO HAD SEEN A RECENT PICTURE OF ME AND RECENTLY BEEN TOLD ABOUT ME

Now, back in 2014 before Ethan moved to Anchorage, he did not live with me and my parents, and we were living in one of my dad’s friend’s cabin. He lived with my grandmother a decent way away, and were were pretty fucking livid with both of them. So he only got to come over to see his kids when we had them, bc their mother had a restraining order, but even that didn’t last bc - well, he was abusive and homophobic and screamed at my TODDLER NEPHEW that he would not have a gay son…when all he did was put on a straw hat to get giggles like his sister.

So yes, I have never met this dude. I didn’t even know his name until he mentioned going to grade or middle school with my sister in law (I…am not sure how he knew my other brother was married, that happened THIS year) and her brother, who he called by…well, I’ve only ever hear this brother called “RJ”. I was a little shocked and mentioned it, and he mentioned his name and how he wasn’t called by it much anymore either. I completely forgot this until I was in the car on the verge of crying again to Susanne.

“You know, I was really into you a few years ago, but your brother said not to try because of the age gap.”

Like. I’m going into panic mode as everything I’d thought is being challenged. (I vaguely recall in our conversation with Sharon, him mentioning how much he hates pedophiles and me asking if he was the one who called the troopers on Ethan than, and even after a short summary he maintained he wouldn’t “do that” to Ethan… Also at some point we established he was terrified of my parents, and after that night he has a very good reason to be.)

I don’t remember what I said. I just remember trying to leave again but a customer came by and I had to let them in the rooms because I had the keys, and policy states I can’t leave with people in the room, and Sharon has the radio with management on it.

He then asks me, while I am effectively trapped there, if I believe in fate. “No.” I said as curtly as possible.

“Well I do, especially when it comes to love.” I LEGIT WANTED TO FUCKING DIE. I WAS CRINGING SO HARD. He went on to say something about how love’ll happen of it’s meant to and…

The customer left and I told him I had to go do my job and took off weaving through apparel.

I think I saw him head towars Halloween (the front of the store, where he presumably got the shit in his cart; what brought him over in the forst place was apparently a discarded shit and it drives him nuts whem those get left around by other customers). I didn’t have a radio to find out where a manager was, but I booked it to Customer Service to hunt a CSM down.

I told her, came up with a code (code alex) if I ever needed to be saved from a similar situation. Not even an hour later I was still so nerve-wracked and only getting more anxious as I was there until 10 but Sharon was leaving at 9, that I went and talked to an ASM. Or tried. I staryed crying on the phone with her so she sent me on a break, and I started to break down again talking in the office. She sent me home early at 9:20 PM and told me to contact management if the dude showed up again.

My sis talked to her on Thursday about the guy, since she knew his name, but I don’t remember what Susanne said was the outcome bc I didn’t work Thursday and The ASM wasn’t there today. (I did have to tell another ASM who had me call the police, who recommended me to go get a stalking order after he stopped being stupid.)

Another ASM heard while he was back there and offered to walk me to my car, and hung around for a little bit when I told him I was being picked up. I know he told my sis he’d walk me to my car of I ever needed or wanted someone to, so that was a relief.

TODAY I saw him briefly right after I clocked in and was on the salesfloor talking with my coworker E. He tried talking to me but fight or flight kicked in and I noped all the fuck the way to Mark, who had the radio, and then hunted Jaime down with E walking with me.

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