#No but seriously though what was up with the rollerblade guy

[turtlethon]

“Turtle Trek”

Season 8, Episode 8 First US Airdate: November 1, 1994

The Turtles journey to Dimension X alongside a new ally who may not be as trustworthy as he seems.

“Turtle Trek” is the final episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles season eight. David Wise is credited as the writer of this story.

Today’s proceedings kick off in a power plant, where Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop install a transmitter to send the facility’s energy to the Hall of Science. The Turtles intervene to stop them, and a fight breaks out that spills into a factory nearby. Leonardo engages Shredder in a sword-fight and is on the verge of winning when Bebop intervenes, using a projectile to pin his belt to a spinning cog nearby. After the other Turtles step in to free him, the fight extends to a third building. This time Shreds uses a smoke bomb to keep his enemies busy, escaping with his henchmen in one of Berserko’s old tanks. The Turtles can only shake their fists in vain as they once again fail to stop their old enemy.

Returning to the Lair, the Turtles begin to argue amongst themselves as to which of them was responsible for Shredder getting away, something they never did the previous 130 times this same scenario played out, though given that he’s a competent villain now and not the ineffectual doofus from seasons two through seven I can see why they’d be rattled. Splinter intervenes, and just like in last year’s finale encourages his students to not worry about stopping his arch enemy. “We all live in what we radiate,” explains the team’s sensei. “Therefore, doing good should be your primary purpose. Because the good you do for others will come back to you in abundance.” The Turtles are perplexed by this, but intuitively understand that all will become clear soon enough – Splinter’s lessons, as we all know by now, invariably tie in to whatever predicament awaits in that day’s adventure.

At the Hall of Science, Krang uses the stolen energy to activate his new dimensional portal generator. After establishing a link back to Dimension X, he leaps through the portal to his home world alongside Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop. The alarm systems in Donatello’s workshop alert the Turtles to the power surge, and the team begin trying to determine why their old foes would want to return to the Technodrome given that it’s now devoid of power.

Our heroes sneak into the empty Hall of Science and find the dimensional portal still active. The group are about to follow their enemies inside when they hear cries for help from nearby. In a holding cell is Gargon, a diminutive, scaly green alien who explains he was the victim of an experimental mutation carried out by Krang. Raphael is reluctant to free the captive mutant, reasoning that they should be focusing on stopping their enemies, but is reminded by Michaelangelo of Splinter’s earlier instruction that they focus on doing good above fighting evil. Gargon points out that he’s from Dimension X and can help the Turtles track down their enemies, and so the team free their new ally, agreeing to let him tag along. Arriving in Dimension X, they find themselves at a different location than expected thanks to a route scrambling function implemented by Krang, and face the prospect of being eaten by a dinosaur-like monster with huge fangs as act one ends.

The Turtles run up a hill to escape the monster, receiving no help from Gargon who cowers in a tree. The hill itself turns out to be an even bigger creature, and with some encouragement from the green teens soon awakes from its slumber to do battle with the smaller beast. With the two giants going at it, the Turtles are provided with a distraction, and able to continue their journey. Gargon informs them that he overheard Shredder and Krang discussing heading to the planet Balaraphon, “an arid desert world”.

As Gargon heads off to source a spaceship, the Turtles find themselves divided, unsure whether he should be treated with suspicion or given the benefit of the doubt. Leonardo again points out Splinter’s remarks that “the good you do returns in abundance”. Donatello jokes about the abundance of monsters they were forced to confront; for some reason Michaelangelo takes offence at this, assuming Donnie is “making fun of the sensei”.

For a single shot Donatello and Michaelangelo briefly resemble their pre-Red Sky selves in appearance as Gargon returns, explaining that he’s found a group willing to trade a spaceship for the weapons used by the Turtles. “They’re collectors of unusual armaments,” he adds, “and of course, your earthy weapons are incredibly rare here in Dimension X.” You’d think this would be the moment when the Turtles finally decide this guy is bullshitting them, given that they’ve been here multiple times and encountered enemies using equipment far more complex than swords, sais, a wooden staff or a grappling hook, but they continue to go along with this.

Gargon introduces the Turtles to The Wrecking Crew, a group of huge half-mechanical, half-organic aliens who look like they were designed by somebody who enjoys playing Smash T.V. while getting incredibly high. (Seriously, one is a half-man, half-tank... guy, another is an entirely different kind of tank-man, one’s a cyclops, still another some sort of rollerblade warrior... collectively these dudes must be the most bizarre unit to ever appear in the show.) The gang inform the Turtles that they’ll need to wager their ability to beat them in battle to be awarded a spaceship. Our heroes find themselves outmatched but begin using the equipment scattered around the Wrecking Crew’s hideout to defeat them; as per their agreement the Turtles quickly leave with Gargon in one of the ships belonging to the group.

We cut to the Technodrome, where Shredder and Krang say little of any importance. They’re greeted by good old General Traag, making his eleventh and final appearance here; a pretty good run for a guy who never got to do a whole lot beyond carry out the occasional order from his boss. He did a lot better than poor old Granitor, that’s for sure.

Aboard the spaceship the Turtles still can’t decide whether Gargon is trustworthy, with Michaelangelo insisting they give him the benefit of the doubt while Donnie and Raph wonder if his real intent is to get them killed. Enemy fire forces the ship to make a sudden landing, and the Turtles soon find themselves face-to-face with a unit of Rock Soldiers Warriors. The team are forced to run for cover as their ship is flattened during an attack by Krang’s army, who are advancing upon a village where innocent people are fleeing. Yet again, the Turtles find themselves unable to agree on whether to focus on their mission and head for the Technodrome or take time out to help the villagers, but remember Splinter’s words and ultimately decide to offer assistance. The green teens oust the troopers, hijacking their equipment and forcing them to retreat.

Taking one of the ships left in the battle, the Turtles and Gargon travel in the direction of an enormous pit, but soon wind up back on foot. Friction among the team has been increasing throughout the episode and worsens now, with Leonardo admonishing the others for constantly squabbling; the on-again, off-again tension between Leo and Raph that we’ve observed through the years during Turtlethon appears to be set to come to a head as the two prepare to throw down, but the team’s leader ultimately opts to relinquish his katana, declaring that Raphael “[isn’t] worth fighting”.

The group continue to argue as a purple, tentacled monster grabs each of them. Facing the prospect of being pulled into the nearby pit, the Turtles call for help from Gargon; the mutant begs for forgiveness as he backs away, unable – or perhaps more accurately, unwilling – to come to their aid. Soon the Technodrome rolls up, now rendered in an odd cream and baby blue colour scheme; from it emerges Shredder, at the controls of a new retro-mutagen cannon. The Turtles assume Shredder must be bluffing and won’t shoot, but if this season has taught us anything, it’s that the new Shreds never bluffs. He turns the cannon on Gargon, rewarding him for his duplicity by undoing his mutation and turning him back into... a lumpy yellow guy in a powder blue tunic? Honestly, it’s not much of an upgrade. 

Gargon explains to the Turtles that this treachery was the only way he could become his old self, but has a sudden change of heart upon seeing that Shredder is seconds away from turning them back into ordinary pets. (It’s not entirely clear why, given that he’d been okay with putting them in grave danger this entire time.) He restrains Shreds long enough for the Turtles to break free of the tentacles and return to their hover vehicle; moments later the retro-mutagen cannon is destroyed, and the green teens hurl their old enemy into a vat of... some undefined substance. Whatever it is, it looks gross, I’ll say that much.

The Turtles are fed a story by Gargon about how when he saw them beat the Rock Warriors, he knew he couldn’t go through with Shredder’s plan. (If he’d had a change of heart that far back, why did he still refuse to help when the tentacle monster attacked?) After saying goodbye, he takes the hover tank back to his own world. Our heroes bypass Bebop and Rocksteady to escape back through the dimensional portal; moments later the Technodrome itself, already burdened by failing engines, is wrapped up in the tentacles of the unseen monster and pulled into the pit, landing upside-down.

Returning to the Lair, the Turtles reflect upon how Master Splinter’s teachings turned out to be correct, and doing good deeds ultimately allowed them to banish Shredder and Krang to Dimension X. They agree to not fight between themselves again, but it doesn’t take long before they start squabbling once more, this time over who gets control of the TV remote.

Season seven’s "Shredder Triumphant!” set a high bar as far as grand finales go, and given how much of the show as it was has been discarded since then it would be hard to outdo. “Turtle Trek” is restrained by comparison, but efforts are made here to give the team a sprawling, involved adventure to round things out. As alluded to earlier, we’ve seen the team visit Dimension X numerous times over the course of the series, but the hostility between them – I don’t think we’ve ever seen the Turtles this aggrieved among themselves, certainly not for this long – brings something new to the mix to prevent the story from feeling like a complete retread. We also get the big status quo altering shake-up we’ve come to expect at the end of each season, with Shredder and Krang arguably in an even worse position than they were before, now trapped in Dimension X within the powerless husk of the Technodrome. I don’t know if I’d say this is a great episode, but for long-time viewers of the show it’s certainly an interesting one.

Going into season eight I feared the worst, having never watched this year’s episodes from beginning to end and only having vague memories of the unpleasantness of seeing some of the Red Sky shows almost three decades ago to work off, all of which coloured my perceptions. To my astonishment, TMNT season eight is a solid body of work. You get the sense, watching these adventures, that the pressure placed upon everyone involved in the production has forced them to step up their game, and yet conversely with the casual viewers having long since left the building there’s also an air of freedom. The [animated] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of 1990 could never be what their 1994 counterparts are: they could never live in this world that is so unrelentingly wary of them, or brood to this degree, or get genuinely mad at each other because they have disagreements about how to fight evil – they have a reputation to uphold, and tins of pasta to sell! In season seven, we saw all of that begin to slip away. Now, as 1994 approaches its end, the Turtles are liberated from the trappings of being squeaky clean heroes whose adventures are primarily targeted at young boys; if anything, as we saw with the X-Men inspired HAVOC arc, the demographic the series is looking to win over demands of them this newfound maturity, something the new TMNT is ready and willing to offer. It’s a good thing.

And yet... part of me laments that the show has changed so much that it’s almost unrecognisable at this point; that what we’re watching isn’t the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of 1987-1993 but a distinct entity, one that hovers in its own creative orbit somewhere between the goofy cartoon that preceded it and the 4Kids Turtles still to come early in the next decade. Even now it continues to shed its remaining ties to the cartoon that many of us grew up on, with today’s adventure seeing further departures.

BIDDING THE BOYS GOODBYE

General Traag’s exit is notable, but it’s nothing compared to this: “Turtle Trek” marks the last appearance in the series of Rocksteady and Bebop. For eight years The Boys – Krang originally addressed them as such on one occasion a few seasons in, and at least around here it stuck – have been the comedic backbone of TMNT, their mishaps and failings genuinely funny even early on, when the Turtles themselves had a tendency to come across as one-dimensional. These two goofballs, paired with Shredder and Krang, comprised a sort of makeshift dysfunctional family unit that I suspect allowed the cartoon to maintain a degree of credibility with cynical older kids, teens and adults that it would otherwise have lacked.

Regrettably, the writing has been on the wall for Rocksteady and Bebop throughout season eight. No-one is allowed to be funny in TMNT anymore beyond the occasional quip, and our favourite mutant henchmen have largely been relegated to carrying out routine tasks for Shredder, afforded only the most mundane lines of dialogue along the way.  

Shredder and Krang will be back – eventually – but the family dissolves here, neither of the two underlings seen again. It’s too bad that the retro-mutagen cannon was destroyed, as it would have provided a fitting explanation for their absence from this point on: Shredder’s willingness to turn Gargon back into his original form suggests that he would perhaps offer Rocksteady and Bebop the same way out and a chance to return to their old lives if that was something that they wanted (and given that by now he’s lost almost everything – and won’t be the show’s main villain moving forward – there's little point in them hanging around in the remnants of the Technodrome). I’d like to think that wherever they wind up after this, as mutants or as humans, things eventually turn out well for them. As we’ve discussed previously, free from Shredder’s influence The Boys were never truly evil, but simply misguided, and they remained that way to the end.

So that’s it. No more Wardrobe Updates, no more driving Shredder up the wall, no more run-ins with the Turtles. Don’t feel sad, we’ll always have the fission plant. Or was that the fishing plant?

The Summer of Red Sky will continue, but before we get to Carter, Dregg and everything else still to come, it’s time for us to briefly shift focus. Between seasons seven and eight we explored the first live-action TMNT movie; next time we’ll look at the metaphorical “difficult second album”, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

[trialbyselenelion]

Masters of None (Prologue) - Act 2

Several voices rang out, though admittedly there were less detractors than I expected. I mean, I didn’t get up either despite not liking what I was told, but I thought there’d be some more push back from the others. 

About twenty or so people made their protests clear, but less than half of them got up from their seats. Their voices overlapped each other though, so I couldn’t really make out what anyone was saying.

Winona, back straight while staring down the crowd, silenced everyone by bringing both her hands together in a resounding clap. In a manga or cartoon this would be signaled by a visual cue, such as a shockwave, going over the crowd to emphasize how much attention an action can get with enough power behind it. In this case, I could actually see the effect in front of me.

It moved like a literal wave, rippling outwards, pushing past all the dust particles in the building to reach every corner of the room. All conversation died, and the stomping of feet caught everyone’s attention. I looked towards the five people standing in the aisles, all five of them now stood at attention. It was difficult to take such strangely dressed people so seriously, but their stony faces notified everyone that Winona had something to say, and we had to listen.

“You may attempt to cause a ruckus, but you will not be able to do so for the time being.” She began explaining, “This is due to my Signature, which you will understand better once you hear the first announcement to completion. Save your breath, you may ask questions at the end of my speech.” 

A few people shakily sat back down, but those still standing tried to voice their opinion. No sound came out of their mouths, however, as if they'd been muted. I couldn’t read their lips, but from their expressions I think they’ve also realized this.

Honestly, how would you react if someone blatantly used a superpower on you?

I looked back at the only visible exit, the double doors I entered through, and saw the rollerblader skating up to them. She stationed herself in front of those doors and pulled out an item from behind her, much like Chenzira did with the journal. It was a heavily worn wooden paddle, the kind found in college fraternity houses.

I was unfortunately aware of what those things were used for, so I understood the cost for trying to leave early as the red-head tapped her palm with her paddle’s jagged edge. 

Looking at her, I also now realize that I have yet to see her eyes. No matter how much light shined on her, the area above her nose was cloaked in shadows. Alongside that, there were black streaks of what might’ve been mascara running down her face from her unseen eyes.

I turned back to Winona, who was surveying the crowd with a frustrated look. 

I followed her gaze, seeing a lot of my fellow ‘citizens’ with calculating or anxious expressions. Fight or Flight, the most basic options for anyone without a clue on how to respond to a new and strange predicament.

“I know you may be tempted to make a run for it, or yell at the top of your lungs.” She looked pointedly at a large woman dressed as a Nun when she said that. “But for now, please listen to what I have to say. I will explain everything to the best of my ability. I would hate to have anyone restrained, which I will allow if the situation calls for it.”

I looked over to the giant Nun and saw a man sitting next to her, a robed guy with an off-putting haircut, who placed his hand on her shoulder - instantly calming her.

Others in the audience settled down, or at least surrendered to the insanity. Once everyone was back in their seats, Winona began again.

“I will restate myself,” she said. “My name is Winona, and I am the Town Mayor. As of today, as citizens of Grimmstown, your wellbeing is now in my hands.”

“You have all been selected beforehand to participate in the Paradise Regained Project, an experiment in immigration to secure human development for Millenniums to come.” Winona stated. “Selenelion was recently discovered as of this century, but today marks only the first day of your current settlement on its land. You have been chosen by a select number of investors and engineers tied to this project, and though you may not remember doing so, you have all signed legal confirmation of your participation in this lifelong event. You have all agreed to, and will comply with, a contract that states you will live on Selenelion for the foreseeable future.” 

No attempts were made to interrupt Winona this time, but not because there was nobody against what she was saying. It was clear that even those who were calm in the beginning felt taken aback by what Winona stated. What she had implied was that: not only were they no longer anywhere near their original homes, but that they will remain in this strange place forever until the day they die.

Some, like the girl in face paint or a teen in an oversized jacket, remained amused at the current situation. I didn’t know if they just didn’t believe Winona, or were truly unperturbed by the bombshell dropped on them.

I was glued to my seat, overcome by the strangeness of the situation.

Specifically, the fact that I wasn’t as concerned about this as I knew I should’ve been.

After all, this woman I’ve never met before just told me that I agreed to live and die in some place, only discovered recently mind you, and just forgot about it. That is suspicious as hell.

Winona sensed the concern plaguing her citizens and spoke accordingly. “Do not fear, your relatives and other loved ones were notified of your departure. Several Non-Disclosure Agreements were put forth to ensure you would all comply with the decision. You are neither missing, nor held against your will under the laws you abide by. Understand that you will all have a one-of-a-kind experience, because you are the first settlers on a brand-new frontier for all of humankind!”

Though she spoked energetically, her citizens did not match her enthusiasm. If it weren’t for the fact that Winona had magically silenced everyone, you would be able to hear the mutterings of several people calling hooey on what she said.

“Your needs will be met, and neither you or those close to you will have to pay a single cent for food, shelter, and any other basic amenity you would need to live a long, fulfilling life.” Winona continued. “And, we have a wonderful governing body to ensure any complication that may arise will be dealt with swiftly and efficiently.”

Winona motioned to one of the men in the aisles, someone dressed like a historically accurate cowboy - sombrero and all - with dark blue hair. 

“Pato Hernandez-Torres, our Town Sheriff.” Winona said, introducing the man. “And who can forget his loyal Deputy Chico.”

Something then stirred from under Pato’s sombrero, he removed it and bowed. Perfectly balanced on top of his head was an actual live chicken, a masked one at that, comically too big to have ever naturally fit under that hat. The bird had Krueger-like claws over its  talons, hopefully more for show than action.

Chico the chicken fluttered off Pato’s head and landed on his arm, on which he wore a thick leather glove so that Chico could really dig his fortified talons into.

“These two will handle most situations, especially those involving physical violence.” Winona said. “Please do not confuse them for the police, for they are much more efficient than that. Next, I would like to introduce another man of the law, our Town Judge - Bernando Vargas!”

She then motioned to a tanned man with very large hair, and with its green color it made his head look like a piece of broccoli. He wore a red polo shirt and white shorts, alongside sweatbands on his wrists and around his head, like he was ready for a game of tennis or badminton. Outside of the numerous band-aids covering every inch of exposed skin, the only other thing of note was the fact that he obviously wrote “Hunk Alert” on his shirt with black marker.

I mean, I wouldn’t not consider it; but come on man, show some humility.

“Judge Vargas will assist in legal discussions that require more time than usual; he can turn a weeks' worth of discussion into a day-long session at his best.” Winona said, before turning her attention to a man with dual-dyed hair. “As for non-legal negotiations, such as for resources and trade, we have our Town Banker, Taro Asakawa, for that.”

Mr. Asakawa was a man who wanted the left side of his body to stand out next to his right side, with the only things of note on his right half being an eye tattoo and blue dye job. The left side of his body was decorated with jagged tattoos. Random patterns, arrows, and smears painted all over that abruptly cut off before they reach the other side. He even took the extra step of dying the left half of his hair yellow.

“As I introduce our next council member, please keep an open mind as I tell you her role.” Winona spoke cautiously. “Sometimes, the toughest choices must be made by someone who’s judgment will not be clouded by resentment or pity. It is necessary to have Devil’s Advocates, alongside a Devil or two as well. Understand that though her profession is one of death, she will not harm anyone without the approval of at least four other council members. Deirdre Upton, as Town Executioner, is our ruthless arm against greater evils.”

Deirdre, the girl armed with a paddle, grinned as she bowed. 

A lot of people stood up at this point, regardless of the silence placed upon them, upset despite Winona vouching for the apparent Executioner. Deirdre seemed to only relish in this negative reaction.

“And last, but certainly not least, is our Town Safekeeper Chenzira Israel!” Winona continued despite the wordless protests in front of her. “Our record keeper, and head of both Human Relations and Human Resources. Not to mention, the glue that holds this town together.”

Chenzira shrunk into herself with mild embarrassment as the metaphorical spotlight was placed on her. It was actually really cute. 

“Yes, we might not be what you expect of an elected party of government officials.” Winona said, continuing to ignore the people still hung up on the Town having its own personal executioner. “Do not be afraid, for we were all selected to place the entire town’s needs above our own. It is our own personal vow to value every life here and foster a safe and joyous community. Believe us, almost no crime can be committed here under the Town’s watch.”

I looked over to Chenzira again as Winona spoke, she was no longer looking directly at the Mayor and chose to hone in on her shoes instead. 

“We also understand that you are all very agitated, and may fear that some harm may fall upon you.” Winona continued. “Which is why we provided you all with your own special form of self-defense. Signatures, much like the one I used before.”

Now that caught people’s attention. Eyes went up over the implication that everyone had abilities like Winona, this must be what every powerless main character in a fantasy story must feel when a random stranger tells them they’re the chosen one.

Well, I guess we’d be the chosen Thirty-Three. Thirty-Nine if every Council Member had a ‘Signature’ like Winona too.

“Signatures are abilities given to you based on your Town Role, you may ask your personal journals what that entails whenever you see fit.” Winona elaborated. “Town Roles are exactly what they sound like, every member of our community will need to take part to foster prosperity and companionship. So to assist those with no experience, or those looking for a familiar routine, we have assigned you roles that best suit your abilities and character. Many of these roles may very well be your occupation before you moved here. Perhaps it’s a specific talent, or just a hobby that can help brighten up everyone’s day.”

“In a few seconds I will use my Signature, Front Woman, to release you from my Mute.” Winona said with excitement. “Then we can begin questioning, and I implore you all to raise your hands. I will try to address any and all citizens who want more answers, but I cannot promise that I have all the knowledge you may believe I hold."

With another shock-wave backed clap, sound returned to the new citizens of Selenelion.

Hands shot up, a sea of extremities that would’ve obscured even Winona if she wasn’t on an elevated platform.

“Yes…” Winona paused, surveying the hands to pick one out of the crowd. “Maximillian! What is your question?”

Maximilian, who was the man who calmed down the Nun, stood up. He kept a serene smile as he spoke, looking at Winona with all of his attention.

“Yes I do have, I do believe I have one.” He said nonchalantly. “I believe that the main question is over my gap in memory. I don’t see you as a liar, I truly don’t, but I must admit that I am worried over not remembering any contract being signed or how I awoke in a strange bed far different from the one I slept in last night.”

“Hm, yes of course.” Winona nodded. “During the move to Selenelion it was determined that the journey would be difficult if your bodies were not fully protected. When you were moved here, you were put into suspended animation to ensure that you’d be perfectly secure within your traveling chambers. However, the procedure that placed you all in this superior sleep comes with a side effect similar to some tranquilizers. Specifically, a loss in memory that may vary in length between each person.”

“And I should assume that we all agreed to this procedure, with the side effects in mind?” Max, because Maximillian is a mouthful, asked. 

“Of course, feel free to request your contract from either Judge Vargas, Chenzira, or Taro. They have access to the contracts you all signed and can deliver copies to your room personally.” 

Max nodded before speaking again. “Then may I ask a follow-up question.” (I guess we're moving on from the Suspended Animation part)

“Yes.” Winona answered.

“Is there truly, with the contract in mind, no way to return home.” Max asked with a serious face.

People began muttering, some even whispering amongst each other. This was the moment everyone was waiting for, but as I took a glance towards some of the Council Members, I realized that they almost looked uncertain over the question.

Or maybe even…uncomfortable with it.

Except Deirdre, she was ecstatic over Mac's question.

“Yes.” Winona answered with a frown. There was a hollow look in her eyes, as she stared above us all to some far back part of the ceiling.

Max took a pause over her reaction. “May I ask how?”

Everyone looked at our supposed Mayor.

“Crime was factored into the creation of this project, and we’ve prepared for all situations.” Winona said, almost robotically. “We have studied you all for potential hazards, and placed safety measures for the worst crimes imaginable. Especially if we ever planned to include animals, children, or other vulnerable citizens in the near future.”

Silence rang throughout the Town Hall. I mean, it wasn’t something anyone likes thinking about. Truly ‘deviant’ stuff, specific crimes that I almost don’t want to think out loud about. 

“We have reached the conclusion that that some types of behavior require our full attention, even if it may overstep a boundary we placed on ourselves as to not directly meddle in your lives.” Winona continued with a serious glare. “However, we disagreed over a specific crime and its consequences.”

“What crime?” A blonde man in a letterman jacket asked with a shout.

“Murder.” Winona replied. “The act of killing another citizen.”

Winona almost didn’t need her magic or whatever, everyone was quiet. Rapt in what she was saying, even if they didn’t want to believe what they were hearing.

All except for one.

The woman in face paint, with the ridiculous 4th of July-ready costume.

I looked over to where she sat and saw her leaning forward with renewed interest. Her feet now planted on the ground, because now she gave a shit about what was being said.

“Now we’re getting interesting.” She chuckled, and suddenly, I realized that something bad was going to happen.

Something very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad.

[klugpuuo]

erm.... do ya have a relationship chart with mothbox,like how he feels about a buncha guys in canon,and my feller rollerblade?

I MADE A DRAFT FOR ONE BUT YOULL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

I FORGOT TO FUCKING SAVE IT]

so YES I am absolutely PLANNING to make one but i havent gotten around to it yet. ill probably work on it once i finish my third phighter and get the story and finer details for timebomb . but i prommy it'll be soon

for now!!!!!! know this:

he looks up to skate and rocket, envying their laid-back attitude and wishing he could be as active as them ALL the time

he distrusts blackrock as a whole due to a History with it, but he thinks the biografts are mildly interesting. he might even feel a kinship with them, depending on how much i decide to have him have been experimented on...

alchemy secretly adores gossip, and patiently awaits the day Da Broker Jaby!!! can give him the Hidden Lore. otherwise, though, alchemy seriously distrusts him

he's decently friendly with boombox - if they're on opposing teams, though, he starts to audibly cry in fear /j

being in a very vaguely similar situation, he respects medkit, although it dislikes his capitalist ways

he adores rollerblade, who's the inspiration for a lot of his attacks (he wouldn't have attempted to actually fly and attack with his heelies without insp from it!!!)

BUG'S SO FUCKING SCARED OF SLEDGEHAMMER. the second he sees her on the other team he's kicking screaming wailing and begging to be let out of the phighting arena. she's the PERFECT class to go against him and he KNOWS IT. she is, so far, the only phighter he genuinely dislikes

das it

[wincore]

field day | jung sungchan

pairing: sungchan x fem!reader

synopsis: when you, as cheer captain, are best friends with the pride and joy of the soccer team, rumors are bound to fly around.

genre: high school au, soccer au, bff2l, fluff

words: 7.5k

warnings: language, jung “the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math” sungchan

request: sungchan + ball + “ everyone is looking at us. is that a good or a bad thing? ” (from the first option) ^__^

song recs: after school - weeekly / pleaser - wallows / some - bol4 / sweet talk - saint motel / love so sweet - cherry bullet

a/n: i tried recalling some hs memories for this and im hoping i wasnt the only one that went through the “shipped with a random dude” ordeal LOL. i haven’t written shorter fics in a while so i’m glad i got to. tq for requesting, lovepie <33

In high school, peer pressure tends to come in different forms. For you, it’s taken the shape of this.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” 

You look around your classmates, scanning each and every face chanting with glee like you’re a star player scoring the winning point. The tall figure shifts beside you, glancing at you like a blinking idiot. You’re not even on the losing team but it feels just as frustrating.

You glare at the boy beside you. The trouble is Jung Sungchan. The trouble has always been Jung Sungchan. 

“Come on!” Chenle calls with a teasing grin from the buzzing crowd. The little shit. It’s getting hotter with each minute you spend by the green soccer field and its dusty chalked lines, just at the tip of the bleachers. You didn’t even get enough time to breathe before you were surrounded, the soccer team pushing a stumbling Sungchan onto you. It’s too sunny for this today.

“The star soccer player gets a kiss from the lead cheerleader after a winning game! That’s the rule.” Chenle announces.

Sungchan looks at you and you turn to him, the both of you looking at each other like fish out of water. Even though you’ve clarified at least a hundred times that you’re just friends, your peers don’t seem to be satisfied. (“Famous last words,” they say.)

“No,” you say, firmly. 

“No,” Sungchan agrees, nodding his head wisely.

“Don’t copy me,” you say, smacking his chest, and a quiet ‘oof’ escapes his mouth.

The fact that you’ve been best friends since Sungchan offered you a light green crayon in elementary school just fuels the idea that you have to date. There’s this difference between elementary school kids teasing and high school kids teasing—it was so much easier back when boys were afraid of cooties from girls. It was innocent too. Now, it’s more of nudges and sly grins, teasing with unnecessary innuendo. (What else do you expect from teenagers experiencing puberty?) It doesn’t stop you from being best friends though. Sungchan still visits on Fridays to get on your mom’s nerves and help you with homework (or try to). You still have all the little trinkets he’s gifted you over the years and the lock to his phone is still your birthday. You’re best friends and strictly that. 

When you got into the same middle school though is when it started going downhill. Holding his hand was awkward, touching him in any way was awkward and god forbid you compliment him on something. The kids around you would run across the halls saying “(name) likes Sungchan!” or the other way around sometimes. Heathens, the lot of them. But at the very least, he wasn’t too fazed and you wonder how he could be that even-tempered. If it was just you feeling that way, then maybe you did like him more than he did you. 

You shake it off. 

Sungchan’s much more grown now and at least a foot taller since his awkward adolescent years; he looks handsomer too but you wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud. After all, it’s only going to spark another debate on the anonymous school forum. (“(name) finds Jung Sungchan attractive, they’re totally dating.” “I knew it. A boy and a girl can’t be friends, especially if they’re both good looking.”) If you’re being honest, you hate the rumours so much—it’s one of the reasons, apart from puberty, stopping you from being as close as before. However, you do understand that this is how the passage of time works. You’re not going to be spending all of your time with each other, yes, but you still regard him as important. Your life is too busy now, with exams and practice—and you’d think a busy bee would get some honey as reward.

Sungchan’s curls stick to his forehead, unruly after he wiped at them with a towel. The sunlight plays with his eyes when he looks at you intently and you shrug. The smell of sweat is starting to make you nauseous. You remember that you too need to take a shower.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you mumble.

“Not today?” He asks.

You shake your head. “The girls have a plan.”

It’s not just the sweat. Or the crowds. You don’t like being here at all. There’s one more problem with this place.

You hate soccer. 

And by hate, you mean you despise it. Like you’ll throw up at the sight of it. What’s so riveting about a bunch of smelly, sweaty guys excited about chasing a patterned ball? You’ve tried to understand it but every time your dad explains the rules, you find yourself zoning out of whatever alien language he speaks. 

Sungchan has been the closest to getting you to understand the game and even then, you refused to learn. It’s not like you’re society’s definition of girly—but you’re not a tomboy either. The school has granted you the “ice queen with a warm interior” stereotype so you’ll just go with that. To be honest, you’re just a little more awkward at open affection than your friends. (And Sungchan has the “friendly beagle” stereotype which you’ll agree is partly true. He’s more of a retriever though, with that size.) It’s just funny how you can never seem to know who you are but other people see so clearly.

You hurry up to the locker rooms and hope for a better evening than this afternoon.

-

The sky burns blue and you wipe the sweat off your brow once you step out of the changing room. Cooling off from your shower has gone to waste. Adjusting your school skirt, you take your usual strides to the school gates. 

Ryujin seems to be showing Yuna a very flamboyant dance move while the latter hypes her up. Ryujin is in her gym uniform because she has no care for her reputation apparently, but she makes it work. Yuna’s about to show her own move when she notices you and waves at you vigorously enough to make you jog towards her and stop embarrassing herself in front of the after school crowd. But then again, she’s too cute for that.

“We got bored waiting for you,” Yuna explains, voice hoarse from her cold. Poor thing wasn’t let into performing because of it. “Do you wanna see our cool new move? Ryujin came up with it!”

Ryujin rolls her eyes. “You’re trying to advertise me to (name) so she can recruit me into cheerleading, aren’t you?”

You smile and cross your arms, facing Yuna who’s been caught mid-act. She smiles sheepishly and pats your shoulder like she just said a funny joke.

“Actually…” You begin and Ryujin holds up her arms in a cross.

“No. Never. I’m already part of the hip-hop dance club.”

“I was going to say that I’ll join you instead.”

Yuna gasps in betrayal, big eyes widening, and Ryujin grins before sticking her tongue out and potentially ruining her image with that expression. She doesn’t care, however.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to get to college and join a dance club.” Ryujin looks at the two of you excitedly. “I keep getting snaps from Yeji and feel so jealous.”

Yuna pouts. “Don’t be so happy about leaving me.”

“Aw, is the baby afraid of not getting any more sisterly doting?” Ryujin teases and you laugh at the disgruntled expression on Yuna’s face. 

“Don’t worry,” Ryujin continues with a sly grin. “Taehyun’s here to keep you company for another year.”

Yuna turns red in the face, a high pitched complaint emitting from her throat. “I told you to keep quiet about that!”

“Oh, what’s this?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “We’re starting boy talk early today.”

Yuna huffs. “At least, mine’s just a crush. I don’t know what relationship status: complicated you have going on with Mr. Soccer Captain.”

You flush hotly. “There’s no relationship status to be complicated about! Seriously, why does everyone think we’re a thing?”

“You’re cheer captain and he’s soccer captain,” Ryujin answers logically. “Plus, you’re best friends.”

“You have a lot of sexual tension,” Yuna answers honestly.

You make a face, slipping your arms into theirs and pulling them along the sidewalk. You better get something to drink before the sky starts to turn purple from pink tinged blue. 

“Ooh, another desperate attempt from (name) to not get teased,” Ryujin leans back to whisper to Yuna.

You stop walking. “Wait. Where are we going?”

Yuna shakes her head. “I’ll lead the way.”

Skipping over the concrete sidewalk, you laugh at your friends and their stories (read: Ryujin gushing over Yeji’s college dance club and Yuna’s newfound crush on Taehyun). The blue sky has tinged orange by now but it’s the sort of colour that sits in between more significant timeframes, like night and evening. Passing by a city square, you eye the people with wonder. A girl in a pink skirt skateboards smoothly over the concrete, her boyfriend filming her with a loving smile. 

“We’re here!” Yuna announces.

You look around the large open plaza, with people of all ages and in different attires trying out skateboarding and rollerblading over the grey concrete. It’s been getting popular lately, with idol pop stars taking to it too but you never knew there was this big a community. There seems to be a few stalls renting out skateboards too. The wind caresses your hair, evening cool settling in nicely on your skin. The sky is purple but it’s lit up with the city buildings and street lamps flickering on. It’s not a bad day at all.

Someone catches your attention. A boy that sticks out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes. 

“Sungchan?!” 

Your eyes somehow always settle on his figure, tall and standing out in the crowd of teenagers. He clutches his blue bag, the one he’s had since third grade, close to his chest and looks more like a tourist in this place than a frequent visitor. He’s not the only one in school uniform now that you’re here.

“(name)!” 

You hate how you love the way his face lights up when he sees you. You’re not actually into him. It’s your friends brainwashing you.

“I was going to invite you,” Sungchan says, a sorry smile on his face. 

Ryujin and Yuna frown at each other but you can’t exactly ask the reason for it.

“Isn’t it great we had the same plans?” he beams at the three of you.

Yuna suppresses a smile and you wonder why. It’s not like your friends would know he’d be here—you’d know first as best friend.

"How did you guys come across this place?" He asks, eyes round with curiosity. 

"Somi's Tiktok," Yuna answers, smiling. "We thought she works here but if she really was, guys would be swarming this place."

Ryujin raises her eyebrows. "Speaking of which, I can clearly see why there are so many girls here."

Sungchan beams, turning to you for affirmation and when you don't give him any, he drops his grin to a more polite smile.

“I don’t work at the stalls though,” he answers. “I’ve just been here a few times.”

“You’re trying to learn, aren’t you?” Ryujin asks, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. However, you furrow your eyebrows at her. How does she know? Eyes widening, you realize it must be the school forum. You remember reading a post about a student wanting to learn skateboarding and the wording felt familiar but you didn’t think much. How they figured it out, you will never know.

“Oh! Oh, I think my nose is bleeding. Oh god.” Yuna sniffs vehemently, her finger at her nose. “I think I’m going to need Ryujin to get me to a clinic.” 

Linking her arm through Ryujin’s, Yuna makes an apologetic expression and runs off into a particularly crowded area.

You blink. The realization dawns. 

"They just left me," you tell him, exasperated. "How could they just leave me?"

He shrugs. "My team left me at a rival school's field once."

Great. Your last outing before midterms and your friends have abandoned you. If this is the case, you wonder why they complain about you spending so much time with Sungchan and allegedly ignoring them.

You regain a sense of your surroundings and turn to him. "Wait. They really left you?"

He nods diligently, eyes trained upwards as he tries to recall the memory. "I told you, didn’t I? On the plus side though, I made friends with the opposite team."

"That's so… cute."

Your cheeks heat up at saying it out loud. If Sungchan is affected by it in any way, he doesn't show it. Instead, he has his usual smile on. 

“Do you wanna try?” he asks. “Skateboarding. Or rollerblading but I personally don’t recommend that.”

He curls his lips, shaking his head slightly. You laugh. Of course this beanpole has trouble balancing on skates.

"I- I figured you'd be good at skateboarding. Since, you know, you're so balanced and all."

You raise an eyebrow. "You wanna add skateboarding to your resume or something?"

"Yeah, that and the ability to imitate dog sounds. Wanna see?"

"No, thanks. I’ll pray this weekend to cure your furry behaviour."

Before he can respond, you’re interrupted by a whirlwind of colours and excited calls. A few girls run up to the two of you, younger and probably in middle school, flocking to Sungchan like bees to honey. Never in your life have you felt so ignored as in this singular moment.

You blink, turning to Sungchan who looks like a rather helpless, flustered eye of the hurricane. The winds don't seem to be stopping any time soon.

You clear your throat trying to get their attention. 

"Wow, you brought your girlfriend?" One of the girls exclaims, sounding disappointed.

The other girls make similar whines of disappointment and you have half the heart to whack them over the head and tell them to focus on their academics instead of boys. 

"You're so lucky to have him as your boyfriend," a girl comments, round eyes brimming with jealousy. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you declare sharply.

Sungchan looks at you with his doe eyes, blinking cartoonishly. You nudge him with your elbow.

“Yeah!” He agrees, with far too much gusto to be believable. “I’m not (name)’s boyfriend. I have no idea why everyone keeps saying that.”

“Let’s go, babe,” you say, resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at the girls. They’re younger than you and you have high school dignity, you remind yourself.

Slipping your hand into his, you take a few long strides away from them before you realize what you said.

“I- I did- I didn’t mean to call you babe,” you sputter, pulling your hand from his to look at him with wide eyes. 

“It’s okay though?”

Sungchan raises an eyebrow and slips his hand back into yours, smiling. 

“I don’t mind the rumours, you know?” He says honestly but his smile feels all too teasing. “Maybe we should go out for real.”

You huff, separating yourself from him again. “Maybe you just love attention. Disgusting.”

You point an accusatory finger at him and he bites at it playfully.

“While you're here, wanna see a cool trick I learned?" He straightens only having to tilt his head to look at you.

"If it's you falling on your face, then yes."

"I mean, hey, I could totally do that. Done that several times actually."

You smile despite trying your hardest not to. You like this about him—that he’s easygoing enough to make you look at life less seriously. If it’s with him, you could quit everything that makes you unhappy and start everything you love. 

“So where is your skateboard?” you ask, walking side by side with him, who has finally learned to match your pace.

“It’s with one of my friends,” he answers, and points to a tall girl with long brown hair, wearing a pair of tomboyish shorts and T-shirt. Another girl with short hair and a bucket hat accompanies her, wearing a long hoodie and shorts, but she leaves before you reach them. They must be from a different school because you’ve never seen them before. The first thing that pops into your head is that they’d be good replacements for your cheerleading position if you were ever to leave. You shake your head. Now is not the time.

“That’s Jimin!” he introduces, and you wonder how he’s this way—how he makes friends so easily.

Jimin waves at Sungchan and then proceeds to ask if you’re his girlfriend with a big smile, like a script being followed everywhere you go.

She seems a little disappointed at the answer. “Well, I was going to suggest one of the couples skateboards.”

You flash her an awkward smile. 

“But those are pretty difficult! I’ve been here for a month and my idea of skateboarding is still sitting on it while Soeun pushes me around. That’s my friend, by the way.”

“Ah.” You nod. “This is my first time skateboarding, actually. The only ‘sport’ I’ve ever done is cheerleading.”

Jimin furrows her eyebrows before her eyes widen. “Wait a minute. You’re the cheerleader best friend that Sungchan wouldn’t shut up about!”

Sungchan flusters, in the subtle way he usually does, and waves his hands robotically trying to explain. “I was just saying- that- that you’d be good at skateboarding. Because of the cheerleading.”

A boxy grin accompanies his explanation. 

“Right.” Jimin covers her face and sends an obvious wink your way. “Anyway, you can have my skateboard for the day.”

She hands over a smooth black skateboard with white wheels, but on closer inspection you find that they’re light-up wheels instead. It’s oddly fitting for someone like Jimin even if you’ve known her the entirety of ten minutes. Sungchan is good at finding friends, rather. Soon enough, she runs off after making Sungchan promise he’ll deliver the skateboard home.

The trick Sungchan wanted to show you was a failed kickflip. At the very least, it made you laugh so hard you almost spit out the strawberry milk he’d bought you. Sipping his own banana milk, he sulked for a moment or two, telling you to try it out and see how difficult it is.

On the contrary, Sungchan was right. You are good at balancing on skateboards. But that’s where it ends. You don’t think you’ll be naturally good at kickflips, though being able to glide through the plaza while Sungchan runs after you with the drinks puts a big smile on your face. It’s the most fun you’ve had in a while.  

Accompanied by Sungchan’s panicked “oh no”s and “oh we messed up”s, the two of you try the couple skateboarding move too; no one’s watching you here. It’s fun to see him stress over a skateboard because frankly, you’ve never met anyone as easy-going as Sungchan. (“I’ll figure it out along the way,” he says when you ask if he’s studying for finals, and proceeds to get a decent enough score). Suddenly the wandering gap is closed again. You’re not going to worry about stupid rumours from now on. 

But for some reason, ‘you like him as a friend’ doesn’t sound right either. Despite having said it so many times, you might not believe in it. You shake off the thought. This evening, at least, you’re going to enjoy with Sungchan without thinking of teenage drama and hormones. 

"You still don't think you and Sungchan make the perfect pair?" Yuna pouts. 

You narrow your eyes. "I don't take opinions from traitors."

Chaeryoung leans back on her chair, and whispers to you asking if you’re okay. At least someone is concerned about you.

“It hurts to be left by my own friends but—”

“No, I meant, are you okay? Why aren’t you dating Sungchan already? You’re so cute together! And you’re best friends—Netflix writers literally daydream of this.”

You groan, throwing up your hands in defeat.

“And,” Yuna adds, knocking her chair closer. “Who’s really the traitor here? Us who ditched you with the love of your life—or you, who runs off every time she gets a call from her boyfriend?”

“Sungchan is not my boyfriend.” You cross your arms.

“She even shares her lunch with him more,” Ryujin complains from the side. “And they’re not even in the same class. Unlike me, by the way. Class 1 Shin Ryujin. Same class as you, (name).”

You slump, resting your forehead against the desk. At this point, you wish the teacher would walk in and start the class already. Unfortunately, lunch break isn’t over for another ten minutes and lady luck clearly isn’t smiling upon you. 

“Speak of the devil!” Ryujin announces monotonously, leaning against her desk.

Sungchan and a few of his friends from the soccer team wave at you and the girls from the classroom door. Noticing Taehyun, Yuna quickly fixes her hair and you would tease her if Sungchan hadn’t casually strolled up to your desk and sat down on the chair in front of you. Long legs barely contained in the space, he adjusts himself by resting his arm on the headrest and his chin upon it. It’s all normal. However, when he leans down to match your eye level, you hear the sudden pit-a-pat of your pulse in your ear. At this proximity, you can even see the mole on his lip that he’s pointed out before. The sunlight from the open windows is pulling golden strings over his eyelashes and his lips aren’t dry as a desert like you expected. You know he uses the watermelon flavoured lip balm. 

“Too close,” you croak. Embarrassed at your own voice, you rise sharply and glare at him.

“Is your heart fluttering?” Sungchan asks, smiling as he looks up at you.

You roll your eyes. 

You can hear Yuna’s giggling and before you can shoot her a glare, Sungchan calls. 

"Do you have any bandaids?" 

He points to a rough scratch at the base of his palm, fingers slender and less calloused than what you'd pictured. Then again, soccer players don't use their hands much, do they?

You blink. "You came all the way here for bandaids?"

"Well… I remembered you keep band-aids in your phone case. And the nurse hates me."

You giggle.

Yujin mouths from behind Sungchan, “He just wanted to see her.” 

You would feel flattered if you didn't know these people and their shenanigans. They'd do anything for some drama (and to get two innocent people into the dating trap).

“Why would I waste my cute band aids on you?” you mutter under your breath. “They’re limited edition, you know?”

No way are you sticking Ice Bear on your urban hazard of a best friend. A tall, cute, surprisingly polite hazard but he still annoys you nonetheless.

However, Sungchan's pleading smile has grown on you.

You reluctantly take the band-aid out of your clear phone case, the pink panda doll attached to it swaying with the movement. Proceeding, you take Sungchan's hand and lay it on your desk. With careful focus, you place the band-aid, admiring the size difference of your hands before snapping to reality.

Enough with the pink cloud of thoughts, you scold yourself.

When you look up, the proximity makes your heart skip a beat despite the logical part of you saying you shouldn't. Your faces are too close and this time, you don't even have the energy to croak it out.

"Thanks, (name)," Sungchan smiles at you. 

Right then, the sound of a chair sliding harshly against the floor makes the two of you jolt away from each other. All of your friends and his friends seem to be sporting Cheshire cat grins and you don't like it one bit. You don't like not being in on the gag.

"Anybody up for gaming after this? My treat." Chenle looks around. “Sungchan is banned from the arcade soccer game though.”

"'Ey," Sungchan complains.

"Hey, Jisung and Ryujin are banned from DDR too but that's because they almost broke the handles off last time."

The memory makes you smile. Sungchan was there too, and you don’t know why you’re only just recalling all the memories with him in it, carefully and in detail. Every one of them seems to have been amplified, the little interactions suddenly coming to mind. 

“(name)? You’re coming?”

You take one look at Sungchan and give up. Even if this is another childish ploy by your peers, you don't mind spending some more time at the arcade with infuriatingly addictive games. A tiny part of you is even willing to go along with them and see if it turns out the way they want it to.

“I’ll go,” you mumble, and the rest of the group cheers. 

“But I have cleaning duty today.”

The group groans. 

“Just get someone else to do it. Like a junior.”

“Isn’t that bullying?” You ask, frowning.

“Ask nicely. Anyone would be willing to do your bidding, (name).”

“Chenle, will you do it?” You give him a sickly sweet smile. “You’re class president after all.”

Chenle wrinkles his nose. “You’re getting stupider every day, (name).”

You sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask one of Yuna’s classmates then.”

“By the way,” Chenle announces. “Only twelfth graders are invited—”

A bunch of groans interrupt him. 

“Quit whining.” He crosses his arms, glaring at them. “What do you even have to worry about? We’re preparing for the exam of our lives. Oh, and Jisung is an exception.”

“We’re only two years apart,” Yuna mutters under her breath.

“Oh, and from class 5, only Sungchan is invited.”

Another round of complaints pass and Chenle breaks into laughter. “Just kidding.”

Your friends are and will always be an odd bunch. Sungchan has previously proved to be the weirdest (several times) and it makes him the most lovable too. But then again, you don’t have free space in your timetable to put in teenage crushes, much less falling for your best friend. What you do have time for this afternoon, however, is relaxing at the arcade. 

-

“Let’s go! I am so good at this. Think I’d impress your Steve Curry?” Ryujun gloats, after having scored three hoops in a row at the arcade basketball game.

“It’s Stephen Curry,” Chenle corrects. “And no, let’s focus here. Our goals are—”

He points to the two figures by the DDR machine, looking like a real couple. He’s been acting as damage control for the rumours and making sure you don’t drift apart because of it. They really don’t make guys like him anymore, Chenle sighs. He should get a friendship award or something.

“—those two.”

Really, Sungchan better be thanking him by the end of this. He’s never met anyone quite like Jung Sungchan, especially because Chenle cannot picture himself liking the same person since elementary school.

“Man, now I wish I had a girlfriend,” Chenle mutters.

Ryujin snorts. “Who’s going to date you?”

“You don’t have a boyfriend either,” Chenle reminds and gets a basketball to the shoulder.

“Why are you playing that when you don’t even know how to use it?” Your voice rings through to them.

“I said I’ll figure it out!” Sungchan reasons.

Chenle and Ryujin stare at the two of you blankly, as you bicker over a claw machine game and they share a look.

“Do they need our help?” Ryujin whispers.

Chenle shakes his head. “I think they’ll figure it out from here.”

Soon enough, you were laughing at Sungchan’s failed attempts and trying to outplay him. Your friends have already given you the shove. Chenle and Ryujin share a high five and that’s where the new story begins.

You finally know the thrill of a teenage crush. It makes you so damn infuriated that it had to be Jung Sungchan. 

Now every time he waves at you from the field or hands you a bottle of strawberry milk or explains the calc notes you missed or does the bare minimum, you need to deal with the quickening of your pulse and a few butterflies loose from their cage in your stomach. It doesn’t help that you’re almost always together.

The two of you currently sit by the school field, Sungchan tying his shoelaces while you cool off with the water bottle he offered you. Practice ended a while ago for you and the girls have receded into the air conditioned indoor gym. The indoor gym is apparently occupied by the gymnast club and you couldn’t be more disappointed that you didn’t join them instead. 

If anything, however, you’d rather leave this whole thing and focus on your academics. Hobbies shouldn’t be draining you—they should feel like skateboarding on a lilac evening with the wind in your hair.

With a friend you like very, very much.

“Sungchan,” you call quietly. 

“Hm?” 

When he looks up, you can’t hold in the urge to fix the hair out of his eyes. You’ve never been very physically affectionate so it might have come off strange. Sungchan looks at you quietly, stars in his eyes and you clear your throat.

“How long have you been playing soccer? It was before we met, right?”

He hums, eyes traveling up and then back to you when he remembers. “Since I was six. You were there at my first soccer match actually.”

“I was? Oh my god, was it the one you lost horribly and the whole team started crying?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

You giggle. “Six year old you would be so in awe now.”

Sungchan beams at that. 

“Who knows?” he smiles, looking into your eyes with firm determination. “Maybe I’ll be the next Son Heungmin.”

“Even I know who that is so… no.”

Sungchan pouts and you make a face in disgust. “Don’t act cute, it gives me hives.”

“Okay, maybe not Son Heungmin. I could definitely be the next Park Jisung—and I don’t mean him.”

Sungchan points to a boy passed out on the benches, his exhaustion typical of any high schooler while another boy sits beside him, fanning him with a bunch of assignment papers. Jisung and Chenle really are more entertaining than any game on this field. 

You turn to look at Sungchan, who’s moving his head around trying to catch their attention. When he finally does, he waves at them and gets big grins in response. He’s not all that bad, you think. In fact, he’s quite possibly the most amiable boy in senior year.

“Just be Jung Sungchan,” you mutter. “Not Son Heungmin or Park Jisung.”

Sungchan turns to you, smiling wide. “Advice taken.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Maybe it’s just you but Sungchan has been glancing at your lips very frequently today and mentally thank Chaeryoung for letting you borrow her lip tint. You didn’t know something so subtle could get you this giddy.

“Are you… going to give the CSAT?” You ask, glancing at him nervously. Part of you is sad you only developed your first high school crush in the very last semester. Or if it’s comforting, you could believe you’ve liked him all this time.

“Nah. Sports scholarship,” he says nonchalantly. “I was going to tell you but… I’ve been scouted already.”

You gasp. “That’s… great. Your future’s all settled.”

Sungchan seems to dislike the idea, lips pursing. “I don’t think anything’s settled except for the next step.”

You nod, somewhat understanding. 

“What about you?” He asks. “Any university in mind? SKY? I’ve seen you study extra hours at the library.”

You look away, not feeling ready for the conversation.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly. “I don’t know what I like and what I want. I don’t even like cheer anymore.”

Sungchan gazes at you wordlessly but it’s the most comfortable you’ve felt talking about this.

“Maybe I should quit,” you mumble.

You don’t want to commit to something you no longer have passion for. But then again, you’ve spent so much time on it that it’s hard to leave. 

“You should,” he responds, honest. 

You scoff, shaking yourself from that moment of vulnerability. “But why would I quit something I’m good at?”

“If you don’t like it. If it hurts to leave but isn’t any better when you stay, you should leave.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re quite the philosopher.”

“I’m smart, right?”

You smile. 

“Oy, you two!” Chenle calls, making his way to you two with Jisung trailing behind. “I don’t mean to interrupt your flirting but you got a spare water bottle?”

“Are you two going out now?” Jisung asks as a follow-up, and you feel a hot flush for some reason, unlike the previous times you’ve been asked this question.

“No,” you answer. You don’t mind the idea though now.

“Don’t lie,” Chenle complains. “I saw that picture of Sungchan teaching you how to kick a ball. You? And soccer? Something’s up.”

You throw up your hands in exasperation. “Seriously, who keeps up posting to the school page? And where do they get the time?”

"Two people with this much compatibility will always be a hot topic."

"We're not compatible," you retort quickly.

"Wait," Jisung says. "I know how to resolve this."

You raise an eyebrow.

"How do you have your cereal?" He asks, looking from you to Sungchan.

"Cereal first, obviously," you answer.

Sungchan looks up, finger below his chin as he thinks. "I drink the milk first, then eat the cereal and then breakdance to mix it all together."

You pinch your nose. "I swear I question your sanity all the time."

"Hah! That means you're thinking about me all the time."

You look away, rolling your eyes. He responds with an open-mouthed smile and finger guns.

"See?" Jisung grins. "Compatible."

The gruff voice of Coach Lee startles the four of you and Sungchan leaves with a sigh and a promise of meeting after practice. Jisung leaves with Sungchan and Chenle gives you one last teasing smirk before sitting down and going through the assignment papers he was using as a fan previously. You will never understand his miraculous ways of performing his presidential duties.

You don’t have a good feeling about the next match. The only reason you’re even sticking around anymore—as embarrassing as it—is to spend more time with Sungchan. Being with him puts you at ease, even if the school tries to wrap the two of you in a rope of uneasiness. This is your very last practice, for the next match is the final one of this year and then you’ll be back to spending even longer hours at the library with a stack of textbooks. It’s supposed to be a carefree age. At least, adults say that. Your high school life seems to be riddled with worries, and with that thought, you head into the air conditioned room to take a breather off your anxieties. 

Only one more match, you remind yourself. 

The pre-match buzz is driving you to the edge.

Your form is off, you can feel it already and Coach Kim isn’t as sunshine-as-rainbows as she usually is, courtesy to it being the last match of your life. She’ll never know though, how much you don’t want to do this. 

Sungchan waves at you as he usually does before a match, disappointing a third of his fangirls, but it helps you ease. One last time, (name).

Watching the crowd of people, parents and siblings and friends, all excited and talking makes you take a deep breath. You practiced but it wasn’t good enough. You can never do well at something you don’t like anymore. This time, you feel guilty for committing to things half-heartedly. You want to start that fresh new college chapter already, with all of this behind.

There’s ten minutes left. You go back to the empty hall outside the lockers only to pace. This isn’t helping.

“(name)!”

You turn around abruptly to find Sungchan’s tall figure, and you must be looking miserable because his smile falls.

He doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, only takes careful steps towards you. “Do you need water? Medicine?”

His hands hover over your shoulder but he doesn’t burden you with them. You put your face in your palms and sigh, sinking down to the floor in a crouch.

“I want to quit,” you whisper. Your voice comes off more brittle than you’d like, and you realize that Sungchan hasn’t seen you cry since seventh grade when you failed a math test. You didn’t tell him then but you appreciated him studying extra hours for math just to teach you.

“You don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to,” he says quietly, dropping to the floor beside you. “I’ll stay with you.”

You stare at him dumbfounded. “Don’t be ridiculous! They’ll lose without you—you’re the ace, Sungchan!”

“There will always be an ace,” he retorts. “Maybe Jisung will finally get to shine. Or anyone else. I don’t mind spending an hour with you alone.”

You feel a hot flush spread over your cheeks. Looking away to the side, you mumble an ‘alright’ and only glance from the corner of your eye to see him smiling. Jung Sungchan is the most unreasonable boy you’ve ever met. Perhaps it makes him somewhat loveable too.

“It’s your last match,” you whisper helplessly.

“I’ll join the college soccer club and get to play more matches.”

You sigh, giving in. If he’s so adamant, you think that perhaps there is something in you worth sacrificing his game over. It makes an oddly warm feeling bloom in your chest. Sungchan is so damn convincing with his words. You wonder if it’s really okay.

With shoulders touching, an awkward silence takes over in the next second. You turn to him and open your mouth, watch him do the same and close it at the same time he does.

“You know,” he begins, “I was kind of lying about not worrying because I get the feeling coach will evaporate me tomorrow but—I can handle it. Mostly.”

You stare at him with wide, worried eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Sungchan. I’m the one running away.”

You slouch, pulling your knees closer to your chest and burying your face in them. The urge to scream is boiling within you but you can’t get caught. Not now.

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing,” he responds, insightful. “If you’re not up for it, it’s better to quit early than to regret it in the long run.”

You don’t know if it’s the fact that he just quoted Taylor Swift or spoke like your old school counselor—but you find yourself laughing. He makes sense. Sungchan, in his weird, oddball ways, always makes sense. And in that same way, he feels like home.

“You’re so good to me,” you say, looking up at him and at a proximity you’ve never been before.

It’s his turn to fluster, though he doesn’t do so as visibly as you do. He clears his throat, shifting his eyes around before meeting yours. “I- This is bad timing but… I like you. I really do. Since third grade when you drew that birthday card for me. I have it in my bedside drawer, by the way.”

He looks away and makes a face, probably wondering why he said that out loud.

You press your lips tight to prevent the smile that tugs at them. He looks at you with a wobbly smile, trying his hardest to resume his usual dignity—but he’s just a boy, after all. 

“My type is dumb and pretty, though?” You tease, the smile escaping. “You said it yourself.”

He blinks. “Well, I am pretty but if you want me to be stu—”

You shake your head. “I like you too. You don’t have to act cute.”

He pauses, thinking. “I have never acted cute in my life ever. I was born cu—”

You hold his face between your thumb and forefinger. “You do that again and you die.”

He breaks into a smile. 

“I’ve never met someone quite like you,” you whisper, embarrassed of your own feelings bubbling up from the bottle you had kept them in.

He laughs, open-mouthed and pretty. 

“Actually, hey, I didn’t like you all this time from fifth. I liked you and then I didn’t like you and then I liked you again—”

“Okay, I get it.”

His shoulders relax and he smiles at you. You look up at the clock on the wall by the entrance to the field and bite your lip. You don’t love performing anymore but you know all the girls do, even the stand-bys. Jisung might not have to take over Sungchan’s position but you bet one of those tenth graders would love to take yours, the same way you did back then. They’ve practiced harder than you too and it’s only a matter of deserving.

You take a deep breath and get up, pulling up Sungchan by the hand. He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive eyes scanning over your face and you smile at him, strengthening your resolve. You should have done this way sooner.

-

Sungchan plays. You don’t let him sit it out with you. 

Halfway through, you cheer the hardest you ever have, plastic decorative gemstones stuck by your eyes borrowed from the other girls cheering. It’s much more fun, you think. You’ve never experienced soccer like this. You’d love to sit at stadiums and join in victory chants. There’s enough weight off your chest to yell your lungs out.

Sungchan scores a goal almost immediately after and sends a thumbs up over to you. You laugh. This is the best break you’ve ever taken from cheerleading. 

“Ooh, is this perhaps the (name) effect?” Chenle’s voice rings through the speakers and you feel yourself shrink slightly under the eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your homeroom teacher signal very angrily to the commentator box. You shake yourself off it. So what if everyone’s looking?

Sungchan places his hands on his hips, chest heaving and sends another signal to you before beelining for a straight goal. You whoop and the girl with a notebook beside you is visibly annoyed at this point but you don’t care. 

Without doubt, your school wins and you watch as Sungchan runs to his team, a big smile on his face. The second he’s done getting pet by the team, however, he rushes to the bleachers, skipping over the steps to you, panting when he stops. The risk he took was definitely not calculated. He holds up one finger while he heaves.

“My cheering worked best this time, it seems,” you say to him, laughing.

His face is flushed from the exertion but he laughs heartily. “You could be yelling profanity at me and it’d still encourage me.”

You shake your head at the cheesy line. He takes a step forward, well inside your space but you don’t mind. He leans in.

“Everyone is looking at us,” he says under his breath. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

You look behind him to find the whole team, along with your girls sharing furtive glances and giggling at the sight of the two of you. A few of the junior girls slap each other’s arms, bouncing on the balls of their feet in excitement. You’re not a celebrity. But everyone wants to cheer things on once in a while, don’t they?

“Good,” you answer, before pulling him by the shirt into a chaste kiss. When you pull apart, Sungchan’s face is so struck with awe that you want to look away but instead you bite back an obvious smile. It’s about damn time, someone from the soccer team yells.

“Woah. I think I scored a goal either way,” he says, an offbeat smile on his face.

“Oh come on, we didn’t even get to chant ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ yet—oh shit, the mic’s on.”

Chenle is definitely getting an earful from your teacher after this. The two of you wave at him at the box and end up laughing at him trying to hide behind the desk. 

As expected, the whole crowd surrounds the two of you in less than a minute’s worth of time, with several congratulations and “good score” offered to the two of you. The boys mess up Sungchan’s hair while the girls compliment you on how cute a couple you are. There’s also the question of when you started dating that pauses the buzz and makes everyone look to the two of you for an answer. Sungchan turns to you and you turn to him, and there’s no way you’ll tell half the school that your confession came in a private hallway outside the field—teenage imaginations run wild. 

Instead, you slip your hand into Sungchan’s and run down the bleachers and towards the exit, laughter spilling from your lips. There’s only one place you can think of going to spend a cool blue late afternoon with.

“Skate plaza?” He asks.

“Skate plaza,” you answer.

[rollerbrawl-hog]

Bust a Groove 2 Character Tier List

based off of pretty much everything related to these characters, their design, song, stage, etc.

(yes i know nobody asked for this. You could probably count all the fans of this game on one hand lmao)

S Tier:

Robo Z Gold: Robo Z, but ten times cooler. Fantastic level, and you fight in a helicopter. The song is pretty mid but I think his presentation makes up for it.

Capoeira: They have some of the best choreography, one of the best songs, and one of the funnest levels. I still jam to Algretto Break. 10 billboards out of 10

Heat: His moves in this game aren't as good compared to the first game, but his song definitely makes up for that slight setback. Plus he's just a cool racecar driver that controls fire and breakdances.

A Tier:

Strike: His song is so ridiculously 90's but still manages to be catchy. Fun to play and one of my go-to characters

Tsutomu: Another one of my absolute favorites in this game. My only complaint about this little guy is that his dance animation look floaty sometimes!

B Tier:

Comet: Her song is one I both hate and like. It kind of drones on and onnnnnn, but it doesn't get that old? The main reason she isn't C Tier is because of her dance style. Rollerblade dance was something I hadn't even considered as a possiblity within the game. Props to her motion capture artist!

Pander: I know most people hate this guy, but c'mon. His inclusion in the game is so out of left field and it's HILARIOUS. His level is completely insane and is probably my favorite in the entire series. Not A Tier though, cause his dancing is uninteresting.

C Tier:

Kitty N: Not gonna lie, she was way better in the first game. Her dance style isn't as energetic here. An okay song.

Hiro: He's just the disco guy. That's pretty much it. His song doesn't live up to the first game either. I dig the aesthetic tho.

Bi-O: This guy is probably the world's worst dad and nowhere as cool as Gas-O. BUT, his design is cool and so is his attack.

D Tier:

Shorty: She got shafted. Went from being one of the most fun characters in the first game, to having lame ass moves and a mediocre song. An okay design.

Hustle Kong: I like his design. He monki. that's it

E Tier:

Columbo: It's Shorty's cute mouse that loves to clip into itself.

McLoad: He's a dinosaur I guess? WHY does he have Kelly's moves?? is it trying to seduce the audience?? They couldn't have made it one of Kelly's weird party friends or something?

F Tier:

Micheal Doi: his design is just bad. sorry not sorry. Also just serves as an unfunny gay stereotype.

Chichi and Sally: MORE CLIPPING, except not cool like when Capoeira does it. They're kinda cute I guess? Seriously, who plays as these guys?

Sushi Boy: Sushi Boy. what.

Welp, that wraps it all up. I love this ancient game and I couldn't help myself. Thanks for coming to my TED talk lol

[merihn]

Hello! Your writing is beautiful!! Would you be open to fluff prompt #27 "are you blushing?" for poly Alex/Luke/Reggie where Luke and Reggie are teasing Alex after realizing that he likes Willie too? ~

Got randomly inspired. This is utterly ridiculous, but I hope you like it.

Prompts filled.

“Willie said he would teach me how to skate if I wanted!” Alex was practically vibrating with excitement.

“You, skateboarding?” Luke asked skeptically.

“What?” Alex frowned.

“Well, remember that time we all tried to rollerblade and you fell down and skinned your knee so badly you swore off all wheeled things except bicycles?” Reggie put in.

“Yeah but that was ages ago, and I think Willie would be a really good teacher.”

Luke and Reggie looked at each other. 

“Oh, you do, do you?” Luke said meaningfully. Alex frowned again.

“Yeah, he’s really patient and kind and -”

“Are you blushing?” Reggie interrupted. Alex’s blush deepened and he spluttered out a protest. 

“He totally is!” Luke nudged Reggie to look at Alex as though Reggie hadn’t just pointed it out. Reggie giggled and nudged him back as Alex turned increasingly red and his words got more scrambled by his embarrassment.

“Do you like Willie?” Reggie asked coyly.

Luke put his arm around Reggie and pouted. “Are we not enough for you anymore? Have you grown tired of us? Are you throwing us away?” His voice got increasingly dramatic as he asked each question, and Reggie nodded along and matched Luke’s exaggerated sad face. 

Alex rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “You guys are ridiculous. I don’t like Willie, he’s just a friend. Besides, he knows I’m dating you two idiots, although I’m not so sure why anymore.”

Reggie gasped and clasped Luke’s hand over his heart. “It’s true. He doesn’t love us anymore. He’s throwing us over for a long haired skater boy!”

Luke let out a sob and dropped to his knees in front of Alex. “Please don’t leave us for the beautiful skater boy. Whatever he has that we don’t, we can be better! We can try! Just don’t leave us.” He clutched at Alex’s pants pathetically. 

“Oh my god, shut up. I’m not leaving you for Willie!”

“You’re not?”

They all turned to see Willie at the doors to the garage, clearly fighting to keep a smile off his face.

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeene!” Reggie wailed, and Willie cracked up. He doubled over clutching his stomach, and none of them could keep a straight face anymore and joined him. 

When he finally stopped laughing, Willie looked over at Alex with a mournful expression. “So all those times we hung out and I thought we had something special, you were just using me to make your boyfriends’ jealous!”

“What - I -” Alex spluttered and Willie, Luke and Reggie burst out laughing again. “I hate you all. I’m not dating any of you anymore because you’re all terrible people.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, baby.” Luke pulled himself up and grabbed Alex’s hips to pull him in close. Alex blushed again at the pet name and Luke pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. He felt Reggie sidle up next to them and moved his arm to pull Reggie into the embrace. 

“We don’t really mind if you like Willie,” Reggie whispered, sliding his arms around both their waists. Alex didn’t say anything for a moment, biting his lip and staring at them seriously. 

“Are you sure about that?” he murmured hesitantly.

“I mean, I already share you with Luke, what’s another person?” Reggie winked at Luke and Luke smiled softly.

“We know how you feel about us, and if Willie wants you too, well, we have each other to occupy us while you’re busy.”

“What are you guys whispering about over there? Is the joke over?” Willie looked a little bit lost, still standing in the doorway to the garage. He had his arms wrapped around himself, one thumb rubbing just above his other elbow.

“Sorry, Willie, we didn’t mean to leave you out.” Reggie smiled at him warmly, and Willie smiled back automatically. 

“I thought maybe Alex wanted to try out skating today, but if you guys are busy I can come back later.” He took a step backwards.

“No, we’re not busy. He’d love to come skate with you,” Luke said, pressing another kiss to Alex’s mouth and then pushing him toward Willie. 

“I - Ok,” Alex muttered. He gave them a nervous smile and walked over to Willie,who took his hand with a worried look in their direction. Luke wrapped his arms around Reggie and set his chin on his shoulder. They both gave Willie an encouraging smile and he let out a breath and disappeared with Alex. 

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?” Reggie asked.

“Yeah, I just want him to be happy, you know?”

“Yeah,” Reggie replied, and twisted around in Luke’s arm to draw him closer, kissing him soundly. 

“Plus, Willie is really pretty, I don’t want to miss seeing that every time he comes around for Alex. Reggie laughed and kissed him again.

[eradicatetehnormal]

LAST EPISODE WAS LIT!! Intial Thots of the Series and Rambling(not me sounding like a boomer)

Episode 12, My reactions to major events

Adam gets a suit: SCREW YOU ADAM >:( >:( >:(

race time!: KICK HIS A** LANGA!

the zone: GET OFF HIM ADAM! FOCUS LANGA, REMEMBER WHY YOU'RE OUT HERE GOING OFF!

Langa almost f*cking dies: LANGA NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Renga moment turns into flashback sequence: BECAUSE REKI IS THE MAN!

Langa being reminded of boarding with his dad and the JP VA's speak Engrish: Awww that's so wholesome. Hey at least these VA's can fully pronounce English words

Slight Adam redemption and acceptance: ...why?

Adam loses:YEAH SUCK it BOIII!!!

Langa jumps on Reki: BIG GAY MOMENT, not the one we wanted or needed, but that's to be expected *shrug*

Shadow's girl gets took: WHACK *adventure time lemon meme style U N A C C E P T A B L E

Reki teaching his sisters to sk8: this is SO cute, aw damn she sk8in boys

Langa telling his dad about his sk8 board and Reki: more wholesomy goodness uwu Langa and Reki racing: LOOK AT EM GOOOOO!

overall thots on episode: A decent finale, it did everything it needed to do. I'm still annoyed that Adam got off scott free for his actions, i'm there's some symbolism shiz going on but still, ehhhhhhh... Overall though, just a feel good episode with an epic battle, some gay moments, and sweet sweet wholesomy goodness. 7.5/10 a vibe.

Thots on series: A very feel good series. It caught me off gaurd because I'was just falling off shounen when I started watching this series and I generally don't watch a lot of anime anyways. Even so it kind of has this warm nostalgic feeling. It understood everything cool about shounen and why I liked it in the first place. This close bonds formed between two characters fighting for the same goal, a fun soundtrack, the happy go lucky characters, AND THE DOPE FIGHT (in this case skateboarding) SCENES. It also managed to keep itself interesting mainly off premise alone. There isn't much anime out there purely about something like skateboarding, surfing, rollerblading, or any of a sort, which makes since since it's more of a western sport. I'm not too sure how well it captured skating culture, but the skating aesthetic is captured extremely well with the amazing directing and animation. *chef's kiss* superb. The actual story, while nothing special, was very heartwarming and just kinda...Chill. It's just this half Japanese dude from Canada moving to Japan with his mom, feeling depressed, and meeting this cool dude who loves to sk8. Which then makes him love to sk8. Simple, to the point, digestible. And really, does it have to be anything else? The side characters are all great, my favorites being our favorite couple in an open relationship, Joe and Cherry. Their dynamic is just so much fun. The two are old friends who knew each other in highschool and would compete together in skateboarding competitions. They're always fighting and insulting each other, and if i'm being honest, it's hilarious. Miya is good too. He's an acceptional kid with a knack for boarding. Unfortunately, he got too good and so the homies peaced out on him. Fake friends... He has a bit of a cocky, sly personality. He's cute, I wish we got more of him in later episode. Shadow is just a big soft dude who wants to be a badass so bad. He just wants to get the girl but he couldn't. D*cks out for Shadow guys. For real though, he's enjoyable to watch, he just isn't as intersting as the other characters I just mentioned. One thing I gotta say about a certian character though...This...ADAM guy...I don't like him. He's creepy, had implications that project an evil stereotype, a legitmate danger to other racers, possible cultural appropriator, just an all around whack person. The worst part is that it rubs off on another character named Tadashi, who I dislike for continuing to follow this creepazoid. I will say I like the backstory between these two, but looking back on it, it made me just kinda feel bad for Tadashi because he thinks he can't give up on a dude that's clearly sick mentally. Adam needs to stay away from teenagers, then get jail time, then therapy. He's a danger and he either need to be taken away from the things he has, punished, and then reformed. //THE MEAT//

So the foundation for the entire series is the relationship between Reki and (almost called him ash) Langa. Honestly, it's a really good dynamic. Just a pure, healthy relationship between two boys, one of which introduced the other to a sport that would become his new meaning in life. Throughout the series, the two would go onto to inspire each other to keep improving and become each other's main motivation for wanting to skate in the first place. However this becomes too much for Reki and he sees how everyone Langa has surpassed him in ability. Reki then tries to catch up to him but fails, realizing he may never be as good as Langa. This causes him to stop skating for a while, as he's feeling too out done by everyone else around him. Though this arc is short lived, it causes for what I think is the best episodes in all of the series because it showed the possible weak point between Langa and Reki's relationship and showed a flaw in Reki's character being his inferiority complex. It also might have shown a bit of a flaw in Langa's character too, since it seems as though he is codependant on Reki and skating to be truely happy, as he just loses all motivation for skating without him their and his "heart doesn't beat as fast". Even though they didn't spend as long of a time as other anime would on this arc, it was still super satisfying to see them reunite and find their resolve together. The relationship between these two is simply very sweet.

All of this culminates into one easy message: Have fun bru. That's it. Just go, and have a good time. Anything that you love doing will be meaningless if you don't. Having fun is what relieves stress, what brings you and your friends close together, and what creates good memories. A dumb sounding message, but a good one to hear. It's suprising how much you forget this when you get older. You get so focused on being "productive", all you ever want to do afterwards is relax. It becomes this endless cycle of bordem that you can't escape from because it's devoid of any real joy. You're not doing the things that make you happy, you're just sitting in mental limbo. So it's nice to be reminded that it's okay, and even good to just, try to have fun doing something you love sometimes, and not have to take it seriously.

Have fun man. Sk8 is love. Sk8 is life.

Easily one of my favorites, low-key ranked as like my 10th favorite right behind revolutionary girl utena the series. A good time. 8/10

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death  /  terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

[bleached-d-soul]

Team ALAN: Lovely In-CON-veniences

Part 3 of Team ALAB commissions for @the-hapless-ace

This was a mistake.

When you join a terrorist organization, you have to learn how to sense danger before it occurs. You either learn to do it early or have to learn from experiences, sometimes not without the loss of some limbs and sanity. Adam should have know that when Ruby burst into their room with that creepy smile of hers, he should have run and hidden for a week or two.

The Vale Comic Con was an event not unknown to Adam, if only because he once considered it as a potential target for White Fang attack. And no, it wasn't because of the overwhelming amount of Ninja Catgirl cosplayers there. He simply hated the fetishism with reagrds to the faunus. Rehardless of that, he absolutely refused to go.

Unfortunately, he owed Weiss a date of her choosing. And just like the real Schnee, she refused to suffer alone.

"Oh my Gods, can we please take a picture?"

The decision came last moment. And since |Ruby refused to allow him to go there in his normal clothes, he had to make do with whatever stuff he had lying around. His old cloak without the rose emblem. His old mask without color marks. And of course, the black wig provided to him by Blake. Apparently, his ex couldn't miss the chance to get some laughs out of it.

"You look just like the Joker!"

"The clown?"

"No, from Persona series!"

"Ah, right."

He had no idea who that was. In a couple of moments, thankfully, that humiliation was over. Before he could get back to Weiss to give her another piece of his mind though, another couple of girls approached him. More pictures? Fine, whatever got that off his back.

"Can you take a rose from my hands with your mouth?"

Sure, whatever. Quickly, he did as asked. The girl ran away squealing.

"Can you cover your eyes with your hands, please?"

She did promise him to leave quickly so why not. The girl wandered off smiling.

"Can I sit in your lap?"

"Yeah, su-"

The ground shook. The air around them dropped a few degrees in temperature before the wall of ice separated him from the surprisingly large crowd of women. Were they under attack? Finally! Some chance to escape this madhouse and-

"Adam. Taurus."

The chilling and emotionless tone pierced through the air, his eyes drawn towards the source of it. Surrounded by ice and snow, in the middle of the hall stood none other than his girlfriend. And she was absolutely burning with rage, if only the giant Knight of white and blue looming over her was any indication.

"I leave for a few seconds and you are feeling up some other girls?"

What?

"I didn't do anything like that!" Was it really how it looked? He was just trying to get them off his back. It was either caving in to their demands or cutting them down. And it was her and Ruby that explicitly forbade him from killing the people he found annoying. "You know this is not my fault, right?"

Something clicked in Weiss' eyes. The semblance of clearance and understanding that promised him the peaceful resolution and the quiet for the rest of this already unpleasant and annoying day.

That promise died an ugly death as the girl's eyes lost any and all light and her lips stretched into an ugly smile.

One that promised only bloodshed and death.

"You are right... This is not your fault at all."

Good, maybe things weren't so bad.

"It is all these harlots that want you!"

...

Shit.

ALAB

"Yang, are you angry at me?"

"No."

"You look angry."

"I don't."

"Your hair is on fire and your eyes are burning red."

"And?"

Ren looked at his girlfriend's face, wondering what he should say. What he could even say when faced with this angry pout of hers. In many ways. Yang was just as emotionally broken as he was. She hid her abandonment issues and insecurities behind the cocky attitude and pride much like he hid his anger and pain behind the stoic and serene attitude.

But no matter how much they masked their fears and insecurities, those still existed and sometimes came to the surface in the most unfortunate of times. Just like their current situation.

"Sorry for getting us kicked out of that contest," Yang said as they sat down in a nearby cafe. It was a nice place and, thankfully, with only a few people. It was pretty early right now so most attendees must have been stuck buying merch and meeting all the celebrities that were here today. "I know I could have handled that... better than I did."

That was one way to put it.

Ren had little reservations about his body. And even though he was embarrassed with the outfit Yang picked for him, he grew comfortable with it very quickly. Yang herself said she wanted to show off her boyfriend's amazing body in that skintight outfit that consisted of only a shirt that covered his chest and a tight pair of shorts. And she did enjoy the jealous and hungry looks thrown his way.

For a total of ten minutes before she started frantically looking for something to cover him with.

She found nothing and so spent the last hour or so glaring at every woman that passed them by. It was fine, Ren told himself. Glaring and growling was fine as long as things didn't become physical. They eventually did, mostly because he couldn't help himself. Ren rarely indulged in things like video games or junk food like his friends. But when the chance to get the next edition of his favorite game came, he simply couldn't let this chance pass him by.

So he signed up even though Yang wasn't interested and got ready to win. It was all good and great for the first two stages. He was in the lead and, by the looks of it, would be coming home with the prize in his hand.

Then the third stage announced was the couple game. And unfortunately, for all the single ladies and gentlemen, they were paired up with random contestant. It was clear the stage was meant to see who could adapt the fastest and give the most coherent performance. He was lucky to draw the second strongest contestant for himself.

Who turned out to be Neon, the girl Yang fought just a few days ago.

He could have sworn he heard something snap. And when he looked at Yang... Well, he told himself she wouln't do anything drastic in the open.

And for the first few minutes, he was actually right. Their dance was energetic and synchronized, him acting as the strong and solid foundation for Neon's more flashy and bright moves.

The music came to an end, the crowd exploded with claps and whistles. They were going to win, for sure. That game was as good as his!

Then Neon delivered a loud and sharp slap across his ass.

And next thing he knew, the dancing contest turned into a huge catight.

"Ren?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you angry at me?"

"No."

"You look... Well, I never can tell but I would be angry if I were you."

"I am not though," a little bit upset. But not angry. "Plus, I am sure you are not going to-"

She was gone.

He turned to look at the trail of blazes left behind. The sound of an all too familiar laugh of one rollerblading huntress was the proof enough his day was about to become much louder and hotter.

ALAB

Mercury loved to drive the little Red crazy.

Call him an asshole but there was something incredibly satisfying about watching the girl so confident on the battlefield turn into a blushing stammering mess. Sometimes he would kiss her out in the open or flirt with her during the spar. She looked so cute when she was trying to take his head off with that scythe of hers while burning red as her cape.

Today was an exception, though.

Today it was him on the other end of the stick.

"C-Come on, Red, be reasonable here, please?" He was backed against the wall, the passers-by either ignoring them or taking pictures. Something about real-life Yandere of whatever the fuck those nimrods were whispering about. "R-Ruby, I swear to Gods, stay away from me with that marker!"

She dressed up as some superhero named... Flasher or whatever, he didn't pay much mind. He did, however, take the opportunity to show off his assets and get the girl all hot and bothered under that skintight suit of hers. Seriously, for the girl with so many reservations and social troubles, she seemed unaware of how many guys threw horny looks her way.

He did. And now those guys stayed far away from her.

Apparently, she was not as oblivious as he thought and noticed all the lustful and hungry looks. But only the ones that came from other girls towards him. Which brings us back to him, backed into the corner with his girlfriend trying to mark him of all things!

"I will be quick, Mercury, I promise!"

"That's a permanent marker, Ruby!"

"I am sure we can remove it later!"

"This doesn;t make it better!"

In hindsight, it was all his fault. He should have chosen something that could be actually zipped up. Instead he went dressed as this emo ninja with weird eyes powers who dressed like a stripper. And now Ruby wanted to write her name on his chest like some toy.

Sounded kinky but it wasn't!

"I will buy a bunch of strawberry cookies a-!"

"No!" She yelled, covering her ears. "You can't bribe if I can't hear you!"

An opening to exploit! Yes!

He rushed past her and into the crowd. Maybe he could snatch someone's cape or something? Before he could rob some poor sucker, the torpedo of rose petals smashed into him from behind. Positioning herself on the top of his stomach, Ruby showed no hesitation or shame as she breathed down his neck.

With the eyes full of the terrifying emotion and her smile so hollow it sent chills down his smile, Ruby whispered:

"Now they all will know you are mine and only mine!"

Her marker stabbed into his chest like a knife, marking him as her property and lover.

Somehow, he didn' feel so scared about it.

"Now let's go and show them all that you are mine!"

... And now he was.

ALAB

"Go and tell her she is ugly."

"I am not doing that."

"Fine, then the collar stays on."

"Ugh..."

Out of his entire team, Jaune was possibly the only one excited to come here. He never attended one of the major conventions since, well, his town didn't have any and he barely had the money to come here. So when Ruby won the total of eight passes here, he was ready to kiss her! Well, not really, since she was dating Mercury and that was violation of a bro code.

Also because he also had a girlfriend whom he liked a lot

Even if she could become a bit... possessive.

"Come on, this doesn't even make any sense for me to wear a collar! I am Leon Kennedy!" And Leon Kennedy was a badass that could never stay caught for that long. "Also Ada uses a giant crossbow and your weapon looks nothing like that."

"I don't give a shit, it was the costume the guy in the store recommended," Vernal scoffed as she tugged on his leash. Her eyes scanned the crowd like an expert predator. She saw a couple of nerds drooling over how tight the pants hugged her legs and ass. Heh, good time jerking off, losers. Then her eyes caught some girls drooling over how tight Jaune's pants hugged his ass and legs.

...

They would have to go. Not now, of course. Her boyfriend always got upset whenever she threatened other girls with violence, Gods know why though.

"V-Vernal, where are we going?"

"Just shut up and follow me, loverboy."

Vernal might have lived in Beacon now but she still lived by the laws of her tribe. And the law of the strong was simple back home: See. Want. Take.

The last part - about putting down anyone who tried to take something from you - was an unspoken rule, of course. Back in the tribe, it was the strongest who got the best food and stuff. Not because they were better at scavenging and stealing, but rather because they knew how to take something from others better. And Vernal knew that, if she allowed even one of the girls here approach her boyfriend, she would give everyone the signal she was soft.

Not happening.

"And now for the second place in our couples costu- Hey, ma'am, you are not supposed to-Oh! Wait, not in the face! Not in the face!"

The silence fell over the crowd.

All eyes were on them,

Vernal took the mic.

Jaune covered his face.

"Alright, listen up, all of you! I know that most of you here are losers with nothing better to do than dress up as leather-clad morons and bitches and think you are cool because you watched some Mistralian cartoons with lots of yelling. I also know that at least eighty per cent of you are fucking virgins desperate to get some and watching some camgirls dress up like your favorite cartoon girls drives you nuts," she ignored the death glares thrown her way. Jaune yelped as Vernal dragged him up and planted a deep wet kiss on his lips, invading his mouth with her tongue for the crowd to see. "Having said that, neither me nor MY boyfriend here are as lame you all. And if I see any of you bitches looking at my fucking man, remember-"

She spread her arms, showing her toned body for people to drink in.

"- this is what he enjoys every night. Remember that before looking at him next time!"

Vernal dropped the mic.

Then she grabbed him by the collar and began passionately marking him as hers.

Regardless of that, Jaune would cry as he would later find out he was banned from this convention for the foreseeable future.

Just like the rest of his and RWBY teams.

[szyszkasosnowa]

OMG of course you can!!! Thank you so so much <3 <3 <3

(I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve decided to skip questions that I have unexciting answers for, or the ones I don’t feel comfortable answering)

The meaning behind my url: 

A picture of me:

Last time i cried and why: With all honesty, I can’t remember? And I’m very happy about this!

How many tattoos i have and what they are: none and they are nowhere

Piercings i have: none

Favorite band: Blind Guardian

Biggest turn offs: honestly... the “””patriotic””” clothing. I don’t want to be within 10 m from the person wearing this shit.

Tattoos i want: I never really had a desire to have a tattoo. Although in the height of my Tolkien obsession I thought about One Ring’s verse around my wrist/ankle.

Age: 23

Ideas of a perfect date: Cat cafe!

Life goal: be happy

Piercings i want: Like with a tatto, I never really missed having a piercing? But I find piercing along/at the top of the earlobe very nice, so maybe someday.

Favorite movie: to no one’s surprise, Mad Max Fury Road

A fact about my life: I’m having a job interview tomorrow, pray for me guys.

Phobia: monkey brain says deep water scary

Middle name: One day I read that in old times middle names were these secret names to protect you from bad witches and so and from that time I feel uneasy about revealing my middle name on the Internet. 

Height: 171

Are you a virgin? Yea I’m not discussing that topic with strangers on the Internet

What’s your shoe size? 39

What’s your sexual orientation?

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? I drink when I have an ocassion, like when I’m out with friends, which is not that often.

What’s one thing you regret? Being too afraid to ask a lady walking a beautiful, fluffy dog whether I could pet him.

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Nicholas Hoult maybe?

Favorite ice cream? Peanut butter from Nice Ice parlor.

One insecurity: “”””one”””””

What my last text message says: ‘Thanks’

Have you ever taken a picture naked? neither taken a picture of me naked, nor taken a picture of something else while being naked

Have you ever painted your room? yes but then my dad had to help me finish the work

Have you ever slept naked? no, I live with other people

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? yeah

Have you ever had a crush? yeah

Have you ever stole money from a friend? ...what kind of question is this??? Of course NOT

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Not in the real one.

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Like, went out without telling my parents, or specifically went out when they told me not to? If the latter then no, but also I never really needed to.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? eh

Have you ever been arrested? No, being an idiot is not a crime yet.

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Ok, maybe I’m not understanding nuances of English language, but. Met up? Just met up? Yeah, I’m constantly meeting with members of opposite sex.

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? Yeah, is that weird at my age?

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? No, they’re all old.

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? Once in high school, but I can’t even remember what I did then? Maybe went for an ice cream with friends? 

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yeah.

Have you ever seen someone die? No.

Have you ever been on a plane? No :<

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? boy do I ever

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? Yes, I used motherlode in Sims 2... Also the code that made you be friends with Grim Reaper and the hula dancers.

Have you ever been lonely? Yeah?

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? No, but last Wednesday was a close call.

Have you ever been to a club? Yeah.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? No, I live in a quiet part of the world.

Have you ever touched a snake? No that I can remember.

Have you ever ran a red light? Yes. But I’ve done it very responsibly.

Have you ever been suspended from school? No, I was a good kid.

Have you ever had detention? ^^^ I was a very good kid!

Have you ever been in a car accident? ... yeah, in a very very minor one. I’ve been traumatized ever since, because a nasty old lady suddenly came out of the pharmacy’s to yell at me while other old ladies looked.

Have you ever hated the way you look? Kinda, but now I’m ok with my looks.

Have you ever witnessed a crime? I once saw a dude driving a bus roadway and a bus drove rigth in his car, Idk if that’s considered a crime, but it looked scary.

Have you ever been lost? Yes, but since it was on the biking trip with my friend, I prefer to call that “an adventure”.

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? yes! That would be Gdańsk and I have to do it again one day!

Have you ever felt like dying? Mentally or.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? ...yeah...

Have you ever sang karaoke? I was surprised myself, but actually yes. Although it was only some online karaoke that me and two friends sang out of boredom. I remember we were covering Barbie Girl.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Many times I thought to myself “there’s no way I’m gonna pass this class” but then, surprise!, I passed it.

Have you ever dream that you married someone? Yes, I once dreamt I had an arranged marriage with a guy I just met (in real life) in some kind of space opera setting. Then I felt very silly around him. 

Have you ever gone to school partially naked? ...what kind of a question xD 

Have you ever been a cheerleader? we didn’t have such a thing in any of my schools

Have you ever sat on a roof top? It’s outrageous but no! Not even once!

Have you ever brushed your teeth? ...seriously

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? I often watch true crime stuff when I’m alone even though I know I will end up walking around the flat scared shittles, checking if there’s a murderer behind every curtain.

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no, if I have I would 1) die, 2) kill the person who did this

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? No but once a lady told me I had a cool outfit and asked if she could take a photo for some kind of fashion blog(?)

Have you ever broken a bone? No.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Obviously.

Have you ever cheated on a test? Yes, but the last time it happend it was in the middle school.

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? Once I saw a guy rollerblading through the campus in a tiger onesie when it was like -10C, but then again, it was on the campus.

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. Let the goblin have some secrets.

[astridxreyes]

W H O    A R E    Y O U?

ASTRID REYES

AGE: 28 APPEARANCE: Astrid rarely wears makeup and, when she does, she wears a bare face kind of "no makeup" makeup look. She likes fashion and likes experimenting with clothes, but often is seen in more plain jane clothes in an attempt to blend in (ex. t-shirt, jeans , sweaters, white sneakers). GLASSES/CONTACTS? She has glasses that she occasionally wears, but only to help her blend in as a "human" who needs reading glasses. TATTOOS? She has a matching tattoo with her friend Liv (who she accidentally turned into a harpy) that says "to infinity" across her rib cage (here); A couple of watercolored little birds on her right collar bone (here); stay gold tattooed across her left wrist (here); a tattoo that says 'but without the dark, we'd never see the stars' on her left upper thigh (here); a little anchor on the back of her neck (here); and a little elephant on the back of her ankle (here). SCARS OR BIRTHMARKS? Astrid has a couple different scars on her body. She has some scars on her hips and her wrists from TW: self harm; Her left wing doesn't tilt exactly right and a has a scar across from it; she has a tiny little scar that can barely be seen across her right temple. RICH OR POOR? Astrid grew up in poverty and although her adopted family is very wealthy, she lives a lower middle class lifestyle not wanting to borrow money from them. SPECIFIC TICK OR MANNERISM? She fidgets with her hair when she's nervous, often switching up her part from one side to the other or fidgeting with the hem of her skirt or shirt as she talks to people; she also has a tendency to rock back and forth slightly on the balls of her heels and nibble on her bottom lip.

P E R S O N A L I T Y ?

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 

“I don’t really know if I believe in perfect happiness anymore, but I guess if I had to pick I’d say that moment when I just forget where I am. When the world around me fades away and I just can exist without the past or... fear of the future.” If she had to pick a specific moment, she knew it would have been when she was flying, high above the trees, far away from any source of people whom she could hurt, where she could just sing to her hearts content, letting the wind kiss her cheeks.

What is your greatest fear? 

Being found out, being sent to prison or even worse, transferred. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare the shit out of me, excuse my language, to be sent somewhere- anywhere- away. But, I think the part of me that scares me more is what would happen to my family- the Reyes who took me in when they didn’t have to- and my friends like Liv. I did this to her, I scratched her. I turned her. I ruined her life and, because of me, she might end up spending the rest of it behind bars. And Damien- he already lost so much. I wonder if he’d even look at me again if I ruined what was left of his family, Astrid couldn’t help but think. But, she wouldn’t ever dare mutter it out loud.

What is your biggest pet peeve or trait you deplore in yourself? 

“There’s kind of too many to list. But, I guess if I had to pick I’d say just not feeling able to be myself? Or even really knowing who I am? I sometimes see other people around my ages, fooling around laughing and letting loose. You know, those people who are the focus of every group they’re apart of, who make you laugh out loud and are just magnetic? Those people who everyone can’t help but be drawn to? I see them and I get jealous, so freaking jealous, because I can never be like that. And it’s not just because-” Because she was undeclared. “I just- sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in my own body. In my own skin. Like no matter who I’m around or what I do, I’m on edge and petrified of being myself, of letting people in, of getting hurt again, of having someone take something of mine that wasn’t theirs to take. I hate that I don’t feel safe, that I haven’t felt safe since I was like 10 years old and will probably never feel safe again and- and I hate when I look at these bright amazing people, I know deep down that I’m not one of them and I probably never will be, I guess...”

What is your biggest pet peeve or trait you deplore in others? 

“I don’t know? I don’t really know if there is one. But, maybe being entitled? Those people who feel like the world belongs to them and everything is for their taking even if it’s not?”

Which living person do you most admire? 

“I have two. My mom and dad. My adopted mom and dad. They took me in and gave me everything. Not just a home, but a family even if it was far from easy. They’re kind of the coolest people in the world and I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

Which living person do you most despise? 

“I don’t know if he’s alive anymore, but...” Charlie...

What is your greatest extravagance?

“College? I only went for a year and a half before it was just too much to keep paying for on my own, but it’s definitely the most I’ve probably ever spent on anything.”

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? 

“Maybe faith? I don’t just mean in the ‘higher power’ sense. I mean just hope. Believing that everything is going to be okay, even if the world is falling apart at the seams?”

On what occasion do you lie? 

“I kind of lie everyday, now-a-days. About who I am? Where I came from? But, I guess I lie the most when I tell people ‘I’m fine’.”

“What is the quality you like most in a significant other?

“Optimism? Or maybe humor? If someone can make me smile or let my walls down, they’re a-okay in my book.”

 Do you have a catchphrase? Which words or phrases do you most overuse? 

“Maybe ‘Gosh Darn it?’”

Who or what is the greatest love in your life? 

“Fiyero Tigelaar. And if you know who that is, then you probably know why.” She’s a little theater nerd and fell in love with singing and the stage.

When and where were you happiest? 

“The first time I flew across the lake. I kind of had a whole Harry Potter riding a hippogriff, moment. It’s was pretty awesome.”

Which talent would you most like to have?

“Shapeshifting would be pretty cool, but I’d settle on getting over my stage fright?” Or singing without the possibility of accidentally paralyzing someone or knocking them out... Kind of puts a damper on being a broadway star and all.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 

Being Declared without having to go to jail, would be pretty cool? She couldn’t help, but think.

If you could pick up and go anywhere, where would you most like to live? 

“Just get me anywhere in Europe with a backpack and I’ll be happy.”

What is your most treasured possession? 

“My Hello Kitty backpack. It’s silly and cheesy, but it’s all I’ve got from before I ran away, so...”

What do you value most in your friends?

“Faith, trust, and I have yet to find someone with pixie dust, but that would be cool too.”

Who is your hero of fiction? 

“Elle Woods. She got into Harvard. You know, not like it’s hard or anything.”

What historical figure do you most identify with? 

“Amelia Earheart. She was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and she just never let anything hold her back. I don’t know if I’m anything like her, but I want to be.”

What is your greatest regret? 

“Not getting out fast enough when Charlie... when I was turned.”

What is your life’s motto?

“If you’ve seen Warm bodies-”

Would you describe yourself as being an optimist or a pessimist?

“Optimist. I’d say I’m a glass half full type of person, but I drink water too fast to have half of anything left.”

Introvert or Extrovert? 

“Introvert aka a not so closeted loner... I really should get that on a t-shirt.”

How do you hope others will see you? 

“Hooman?”

How are you seen by others currently? 

“Nice? Which I kind of hate by the way. I mean being nice is great and all. At least, I’m not the devil or anything, even if our pastor might disagree if he-” learned the truth. “But, in my experience, nice is kind of the go-to-word to describe someone you know nothing about.”

How do you see yourself? 

“Like Tracey Turnblad shoved inside a scrappy filipina body.”

How do you react to praise? 

“Last time someone complimented me, I’m pretty sure I flailed my arms and made a sound that could best be described as an awkward dinosaur noise? So not great.”

How do you react to criticism? 

“I thrive in it. My self-esteem loves being taken down a notch. But, in all seriousness, I try to prove them wrong and often end up doing something I’ll probably regret like doing a weird rollerblade dance routine to Stayin’ Alive. Clearly, one of my finer moments.”

Do you often make snap judgements or take time to consider? 

“I’d like to think I’m a rational thinker, but... did I mention the Staying’ Alive boogy dance? On Roller blades?”

Do you think you lead more with your head or your heart? 

“Bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum...  I was trying to make a heart sound and the second I did, I instantly regretted it.”

When was the last time you cried? 

“When half of the ice cream in my cone fell on the ground. What? It was a very traumatic experience.” Even, though she knew it was actually when her parents asked her if they could adopt her. Happy tears.

What is your guilty pleasure? 

“The Bachelor franchise. It’s like watching a car crash. It’s horrifying, but you can’t look away. That or singing to show tunes in my car at the top of my lungs when no one’s watching or sitting in the taco ball parking lot eating a quesarito while... also listening to showtunes. And then I end up ordering dominos and make the deliver guy knock on my window like I’m doing some shady drug deal when in actually it’s just for cookie brownies and those parmesan bread knots... I have a lot of guilty pleasures.”

When was the last time you showered? 

“This morning and every morning like a hygienic person?”

Are you the type of person who talks in the movie theater? 

“No. Unless it’s a horror movie. Then, you’ll find me curled up in my chair, peaking through the cracks in my fingers covering my eyes, screaming at the characters not to go in the room and asking them why in the world they’d be asking if anyone’s home when they hear a creepy noise upstairs, as if the killer is just going to respond with ‘oh hi love! I’m just making myself a sandwich. But, don’t worry. I’ll be down in a giffy to kill ya.’”

Are you more of an indoor cat or an outdoor bird? 

“I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane-” (Cue Five for Fighting - Superman) She’s an outdoor person.

Are you a fan of Harry Potter and, if so, what would be your Hogwarts house? 

“Honey badgers don’t care.” She’s a huge Harry Potter fan and a Hufflepuff all the way.

Do you like superheroes and, if so, which character is your favorite? DC or Marvel? 

“Yes! And Kitty Pryde aka Shadowcat.”

Did you used to play Pokemon? And if so, what be your starter Pokemon? 

“Yes! And in the versions I’ve played, Squirtle and Piplup.”

Star Wars or Star Trek? Or neither?

“Both?”

If you were in the Hunger Games, what would be your game plan? 

“Hide?” Hide until I get caught and then fly up real high or sing until anyone who tried to attack me gets stunned so that I can escape?

If the zombie apocalypse happened today, how would you defend yourself?

“I’m a goner anyways, so...” ZOMBIE HARPY HERE I COME!

What’s the first thing you do when you’re home alone?

“Slide across the floor like I’m Tom Cruise in Risky Business while singing ‘What Dreams are Made Of’ into a hairbrush like Hillary Duff.”

What is the most overplayed song you listen to? 

“Defying Gravity or Satisfied. Can you tell I used to be a theater kid in High School?”

Do you believe in a thing called love?  (cue the Darkness song…) 

“I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh!...

too much?”

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

“No. I believe in lust at first sight, but when you think about the cliche disney fall in love moments- Prince Charming couldn’t even recognize Cinderella when she didn’t have a big ball gown on and, in Snow White, which also was Prince Charming funny enough... he was kind of a stalker and necrophiliac? And yeah... I don’t know if I want that personally.”

If you could travel to any period in time, future or past, where would it be? 

“I’m kind of happy now, to be honest. Even though I wouldn’t mind reliving the early 2000′s again?”

Have you committed a crime? 

“Who? Me? Nooooo.... Never....” I’m literally undeclared so... you do the math?

If you could commit a crime and get away with it, what would it be? 

I’d like to continue being undeclared without being caught, thank you very much.

If you found yourself trapped in an elevator with a group of strangers, what would be the first thing you’d do? 

“Panic? I’ve seen Tower of Terror and I have no want to be the little girl in that movie.”

[bigwheelblading]

Caleb Smith is an aggressive, urban and distance skater from Des Moines, Iowa. This past winter he had some time off work and decided to make a trip and get his century title before turning 28. Between December 18th, 2017 and January 30th 2018 he visited Denver, Peoria, Chicago, Madison, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Los Angeles, Long Beach, San Diego and Austin. He made it a point to urban skate, visit a roller rink, check out a museum, eat at nice restaurant and drink at coffee shops in each city that he visited.

What made you want to do this trip?

I had some cities I wanted to travel to and I also had some life stuff that I had to get over. I really wanted to get my century (100-mile) title skating from Los Angeles to San Diego. In the end the trip was a complete success.

Skating through a cemetery in Des Moines, Iowa.

How did you plan for a multi-city trip?

The planning of this trip was a bit crazy. I just picked cities I wanted to visit and started looking at bus fares, plane and train tickets and ended up getting all of my tickets for 350 dollars.

How did you budget yourself to make sure you didn’t spend all your money too quickly?

So I wouldn’t over spend I had a friend put money into a spending account every week for me.

Did you bring your aggressive skates with you on this trip?

No, I didn’t bring my aggressive skates with me. It was kind of weird. At first I didn’t think about it, but later on in the trip I wanted to aggressive skate more. Not bringing them was a good thing, because I didn’t hurt myself before the BIG century skate.

Caleb ready for his blading adventure.

Caleb in Des Moines before heading on his journey.

Caleb’s helmet.

So your first stop was Denver, what was it like skating there?

I took the train there from Des Moines and spent a week in Denver skating. I was really lucky that the weather was good. I did a lot of solo trail skating. There is a trail that went all the way from where I was staying into downtown and then goes through the city center. Downtown Denver is a crazy place to urban skate, the traffic is wild and there are a lot of people.

What was your favorite thing you did in Denver?

The last night I was there I went to this event called Denver Roll. Once a month Denver Roll rents out a warehouse and turns it into a roller club. It is a huge space with stages, dance floors and an open bar. Everyone just gets trashed and starts falling over on their skates. I met a figure skater there that was incredible on his blades. He had been figure skating for 30 years and had only been rollerblading for a year. I also randomly met Will Enzenauer there, which was super sick. I was there until 2 am and then at 6 am drove 14 hours to Peoria, Illinois.

The serenity of a clear blue mountain lake, And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high

What did you go to Peoria for?

The friend I was staying with in Denver also grew up in Peoria. I rode with her to visit my family for two nights before Christmas.

Did you skate in Peoria?

When I was in Denver I bought a brand new pair of skates before going to the Denver Roll event. The next day, I was back home in Peoria and wanted to skate because it was going to snow the next day. I went out blading and my frame bolt receptor inside the boot broke. The thread snapped off of the plate and my frame broke out two miles away from my house.

Caleb’s gear.

So what did you do?

I ended up finding an old pair of Razor Cults that were in the garage that had a cuff bolt receptor in them. I had to cut the bottom-lining of my new skates and dig out the broken receptor and replace it with the receptor from the Razors to get it working again.

Did this affect the feel or performance of the skate?

Not really, but I’ve been kind of paranoid ever since that my skate are going to break again. I feel like I’m a little jinxed having brand-new $400 skates break that fast. I had only skated them for a total of four hours before they broke. It was a bit disappointing.

Where did you go after Peoria?

On Christmas night I headed to Chicago for eight days. It was a bone chillingly cold  –10 degrees Fahrenheit (-23 celcius) outside. I did not let the cold weather get to me though and immediately went skating to put on miles.

It was so cold in Chicago Caleb’s beard iced over.

What was it like skating Chicago?

I had one of the best blades of my trip there with Ben Price. We did a full moon skate on New Years Day covering about 10 miles. We went to a completely empty Millennium Park and skated “The Bean”. I had never been under Millennium Park before so Ben took me to these underground parking garages that continued on for miles. You can skate around a garage until you get kicked out of it and then just skate to a different garage. We ended up skating underneath the city for hours.

Did you know Ben Price before your Chicago trip?

Yes. He rode his motorcycle to Des Moines once. He bought a motorcycle, rode it from Chicago all the way to Des Moines, stayed with us and rode it all the way back.

Did you go back to your favorite roller rink in Chicago?

Yes, I went back to Southside Rink in Chicago with all the derby girls. It is my favorite roller rink. They have the nicest wooden floor and always have a live DJ. Everyone there is super chill and respectful.

In front of the Wisconsin Capitol building in Madison.

What was you’re your next stop after Chicago?

I was really fortunate and found a $1 Megabus ticket from Chicago to Madison, Wisconsin. The weather was super nice when I arrived so I immediately did a 20 mile skate around a lake to an isthmus. There was second lake on the other side of the isthmus that I wanted to skate around too, but it started snowing pretty heavily.

Did you check out the roller rink in Madison?

I was staying with a girl in Madison who quad skated. We went to a roller rink whose floor was all busted up. There were big cracks and chunks missing out of the concrete. They had put masking tape over the cracks but that didn’t help much.

I was skating backwards really fast, looking over my shoulder trying to avoid a crack and crashed into a mom. I hit her really hard back to back, I fell and swiped her legs out and she fell on her back onto the concrete floor. It was seriously one of the scariest moments of my life; I thought I had killed this lady. Everybody huddled around her and she was holding her back. I didn’t know what to do; I was like “Oh my god! Are we going to have to exchange insurance or something? But I don’t have insurance. I don’t know how that works.”

Lol, it’s not a car wreck! You can’t insure your skates in case you run into somebody!

I was really worried that I hurt this lady, but in the end she was fine. So the next day I was in a museum and decided to cut through the state capitol building to go to a coffee shop on the opposite side. As I was walking out of the building, the lady I hit was walking in. It turns out she worked for the governor at the capitol and ended up giving me a private tour of the whole capitol building.

Caleb getting a tour of the Wisconsin State Capitol.

After Madison you headed to Minneapolis and St. Paul, was it cold and snowing there?

That is correct. It was a little snowy but it was sunny enough that the snow had melted during the day. In St. Paul I had a really nice skate around the by myself and skated to the capitol building. In Minneapolis I went skating with Mike Lufholm.

He is a great photographer; I saw you went out to get some shots with him?

That ledge roll gap I did that he took a photo of was huge and scary. I had that new city hype, wanting to represent while I was there. He shot a lot of photos of me.

Ledge roll to gap in Minneapolis photo by Mike Lufholm

What were the skating rinks like in Minneapolis?

The rink that I went to in Minneapolis was pretty rad. They actually have two different adult skates and I went to both of them. They do a Tuesday night skate and a Sunday morning skate. Many of the rinks I went to on the trip had morning adult skates on the weekends and would serve coffee. I thought that was really cool.

Were there mainly roller skaters or were there also inline skaters?

At the rink in Minneapolis most people were on roller skates but there was one other guy on big wheel blades. There were some other rollerbladers there too, but were more like figure skaters. They were super good at dance moves and tricks.

Caleb toe bonking the lamp post in Minneapolis. Photo by Mike Lufholm.

Where did you head to next?

I caught a flight out of Minneapolis to Los Angeles to visit my friend Josh from Iowa that moved there. It turned out he was hosting somebody else and didn’t have room for me. I posted on Instagram that I was looking for a place to stay in LA and got a reply from Caitlin Krause. She is a rollerskater and the girlfriend of Cletus Kuhn. They offered me their couch to sleep on and I ended up staying with them for eight days. They were super friendly and it was really fun staying at their place.

Did you get to skate with Cletus Kuhn?

We went on an aggressive session with about ten other bladers. Since I didn’t have aggressive blades with me Cletus let me use his Seba skates with Oysi frames. He took me to the Seba warehouse, which was really cool. We also went on a few big wheel blade sessions and did a photo shoot under the Santa Monica Pier.

Caleb in Santa Monica. Photos by Cletus Kuhn.

Wallride under the Santa Monica pier. Photo by Cletus Kuhn.

In Santa Monica. Photo by Cletus Kuhn.

Had you skated Oysi frames before that session?

No I had never skated them before. They were tall but not too tall and I could lock really well on the h-block. The length was also really good. He had his rockered so I could swivel but not loose speed or control. I really enjoyed skating the Oysi frames.

Did you do any other freeskating around LA?

I had briefly met Cletus’s friend Al Romero who told me to meet him the next day downtown to go blading. I met up with him and he became my official tour guide for Los Angeles. We ended up blading all around LA and skated through several of it’s parks. We then took a train up to North Pasadena and did a 10-mile downhill skate through neighborhood streets, trails and city parks. We ended up skating down to the LA River and stopped and had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. It was such sick skate and Al was a really cool guy to spend my day with.

LA Courthouse session with Jasen Richard, Cletus Kuhn, John Grillot and Caleb Smith. Edit by Mike Klaric.

What was the most random thing that happened to you in LA?

I did go on a really cool date in Los Angeles! I met this girl on the connecting flight from San Francisco to LA. She was from Saudi Arabia and came up to me and asked me about my coat and we started talking. We exchanged information and I found out she was also going to LA so I asked her out on a date. We walked all around Venice Beach, went to the Venice canals and had a really nice pizza dinner. We hung out at the beach for an hour or so. She is a photographer and we ended up doing a photo shoot together, which was pretty cool. She was probably one of the raddest chicks I’ve met in my whole life. She was like a little pistol.

And where is she now?

She is back in Saudi Arabia, she was just in LA visiting her sister. She did invite me out there though, so…

From the photo shoot Caleb and his date did in Venice Beach. Photos by Mashael ALObaiden

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Was Los Angeles what you expected?

Yes and no. I did not expect it to be a crazy mind-blowing place. I figured it would just be like a regular city but I did not expect it to be so gross and dirty. It smelled like piss everywhere. The homeless population there was crazy. I saw homeless people in Denver and I saw homeless people in Chicago, but the homeless people in LA were insane.

Did you go on the LA Night Skate?

Kind of, there is a group that meets up on Tuesday nights. I didn’t have cell service, so I messaged them on Facebook and said I would meet them at 8:30 pm at the sculpture where they start the skate. When I got off the train I skated towards the meet up spot but couldn’t find it. I asked several cops on the street for directions but none of them knew where I was talking about. When I finally found the spot they had I already left.

I had to find a WIFI spot and contact them on Facebook again. One of these guys left a tracker for me to be able to locate them. I loaded the tracker app on my phone and started to skate to where they were but lost my WIFI connection. I kept skating around looking for WIFI spots so I could track them. For 12 miles I was just barely behind them but could never catch up to them. I skated through skid row and some really sketchy parts of downtown.

Finally I caught up to them at a bar. None of them were aggressive bladers that also rode big wheels. They were just random people who had also been rollerblading for a long time. The whole night was a surreal experience

I told them about my century skate that I was trying for and they were giving me advice. They were friendly people but I just wanted to be like, “Yo I have been skating for 24 years, I don’t need your guys’ advice.” It was cool though, they bought me a beer and we just chilled and talked for a while.

Skating in Los Angeles with Al Romero

Caleb and Al Romero skating in LA

On the trail along the LA river.

Where did you start the century skate from?

I went on one last skate around downtown LA and then caught a train to Long Beach. One of the guys I bladed with on the aggressive session with Cletus lived in the Long Beach area. He picked me up from the train station at 12:30 that night. We went to his house, hung out a bit and I went to bed at 1:30 am. My alarm went off two hours later at 3:30 am and I started my Endomondo tracker app when I left his house at 4:09 am.

I started my skate going through a massive shipping yard full of containers and towering cranes. It was still very dark outside and it was pretty scary skating through this place. Without realizing it, my map had re-routed me and I had skated 30 miles on an inland road that was parallel to the coast highway that I was supposed to be on. When I finally realized I was off course, I readjusted my map and bee-lined it back to the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH).

How far did you skate before taking a break?

After skating 50 miles I stopped at a coffee shop to rest. All I had left was $10, so I bought a coffee and a bagel. Afterwards I changed my socks and started skating again. My plan was to skate another 25 miles before taking another break. I got to 25 miles and decided that I was going to continue and do 50 miles. I wanted to see how long I could go and ended up skating non-stop until I reached San Diego.

The route Caleb skated from Long Beach to San diego.

Did you skate with all your stuff?

Yes. I had my backpack that weighed around 25 pounds. In my backpack I had my cloths, all my gear, a whole bunch of PB&J’s that I made, some tangerines, some trail mix, some water and coffee. It was so heavy! I was super worried about the pack and was afraid it was going to stop me. Near the end of the skate my back was hurting. I was holding my pack strap over my head and pulling it up to take the weight off my back.

What was the coastal route like?

I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I began my skate. The PCH ended up being beautiful and the weather was perfect. Most of the time I skated on a very smooth bike lane on the side of the highway.

Once you entered San Diego County you had to go through Camp Pendleton Marine Base, how was that?

To go through the base on a bike or on skates you have to register with them. You need to do it seven days in advance and I only did it two days ahead of time so I was rejected at the gate. Since they turned me away I had to change my route and skate on the shoulder of Interstate 5.

Skating along a six lane Interstate for 8 miles was really terrifying. The cars and semis were flying past me. This is the only part of the Interstate were it is legal to ride a bicycle on the shoulder. Luckily the shoulder was really smooth and easy to skate on. After 8 miles I was able to go back on the trail again. The rest of the way I skated through a state park that looked like a post-apocalyptic vast open space of nothingness.

Skating along the Pacific Coast Highway during his century skate.

How was skating on hills between Oceanside and San Diego?

Skating on the PCH between Oceanside and San Diego was a bit more difficult because of the hills. It was late afternoon and there was a nice breeze coming off the ocean. I was really enjoying skating through all the beautiful beach towns and people watching. However, I was starting to get physically worn down.

The sun was setting right when I was about to skate up the massive hill on Route 1 into the Torrey Pines area of San Diego. Several People warned me that there would be a big hill at the end of the skate. In my mind though I was like “whatever dude, I’ve skated up big hills”. But this hill was so freaking big and took me nearly an hour to skate up it. I had already skated 100 miles before going up this hill. Once I ascended to the summit and saw San Diego in the distance I began to celebrate my victory.

Soon after I realized my GPS quit working and I had no idea where I was going. At this point I was just trying to see how many miles I could push before my body was done. I ended up skating all the way down a trail to Sea World. By the time I got there I had logged 121.33 miles in 12 hours and 54 minutes and was officially done. I had tried to make it to 125 miles, but my ankles were too sore from the vibrations of the roads.

What did you do when you got into San Diego?

When I arrived to Sea World I called my friend Dakota Richardson, who is a blader from Des Moines that lives in San Diego. He met me at a Denny’s near where I was at and we had a huge meal. I stayed with Dakota at his parent’s house in South Park for the rest of my time in San Diego. It was a really nice area and staying with them was one of the coolest parts of the whole trip!

His dad is a renewable energy engineer and his parents grew all their own food and cooked family meals everyday. All organic, all home cooked and eaten at the dinner table. All that food was better then any meals I paid for during the entire trip. The whole time I was there we had family meals together, played board games and hung out. It was such a super sick time.

Street skating in San Diego. Edit by Dakota Richardson.



Did you do any more skating in San Diego?

The next day I big wheel bladed around Balboa Park with Dakota. Then that night I met up with the San Diego big wheel bladers and skated Balboa Park again. They were all really cool dudes to skate and hang out with. The lightening at Balboa Park was really rad, and there were still lots of pedestrians walking around there at night. I was in San Diego for four days and spent the time skating around downtown and heading to all the beach towns to skate on their boardwalks.

How did you enjoy San Diego?

San Diego was really low key. It was almost like a life reset where I was able to relax and rewind. It was the complete opposite of Los Angeles.

Caleb taking in the majestic view of the Pacific Ocean in San Diego

Taking in the view

Waves splashing

So then you flew to Austin. What was the first thing you did there?

When I arrived in Austin I skated from the airport to Andrew Broom’s apartment. He was sick but that evening he drove me to Playland Skating Rink for adult night. His car was falling apart though really bad. I skated really hard at Playland for two hours and then skated 15 miles back to his apartment. It was a pretty brutal skate because I was really worn out.

How many miles had you skated so far on the trip?

I hit 400 miles of skating on my trip when I was in Austin. I ended up getting sick from Andrew while I was there, but didn’t want to become a burden on anyone. So even though I was sick, I drank a lot of beer and hung out. I don’t really drink much anymore, so it was fun and a change of pace.

One day we took a road trip to Waco to go street skating. I met Josh Glowicki and Fritz Peitzner from Dallas there. I didn’t have aggressive skates with me but it was still pretty sick to skate with those dudes.

The metaphorical finish line of Caleb’s journey. Photo by Joseph Gammill.

Fakie roll down the ramp of mystery

The metaphorical finish line of Caleb’s journey

And you went to the big ramp in Austin?

Oh yea, the ramp of mystery, that was the metaphorical finish line of the whole journey. I had already done everything I wanted to, I had gotten over the girl, the same girl from last time I was in Austin. So I got over her and did the century skate, I wanted my first century title, which I got. I went to a museum, coffee shop, a nice place to eat and a roller rink in every city I went to. I shed a bunch of skin and became a new me.

We went to that ramp and it was pretty huge. I went right to the top of it and rolled down it without even thinking. I went right back to the top and fakie bombed it. It was gnarly, with broken concrete, but it felt good. It felt like I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore and I could do anything I wanted in my life. Then I went home and didn’t blade at all in February which was weird because in January I bladed over 400 miles

Caleb with a mute grab into the Ramp of Mystery filmed by Anthony Medina

http://bigwheelblading.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/caleb-final.mp4

Why did you take February off?

I’ve had chronic injures that I never let heal. Caitlin is a certified occupational therapy assistant and helps people with injuries. When I was in LA she asked me when was the last time I took a break from skating and I couldn’t tell her, because I don’t take any breaks. So she told me I needed to take a break to let my body recover.

Later on in the trip when I was in Waco, Texas I was talking to Josh Glowicki and      he told me if there is something in your life that you love, then try not doing it for 30 days and see how you feel about it after those 30 days. I took this as a sign and didn’t skate the whole month of February. I kind of cheated though because February is only 28 days!

And now you are back on the blades again?

Yes, I turned 28-years-old a couple of days ago and I wanted to skate 280-miles in March but the weather has been kind of shitty!

Caleb night skating in downtown Des Moines. Edit by Bruce James Bale.

Of all the cities you have skated in, which is the best for big wheel blading?

Des Moines! I am serious, the whole time I skated these major cities, I paid attention to the garbage, the traffic and the way the cities were designed. I started to miss Des Moines. It is big enough but small enough. It is clean and it’s nice. In fact Des Moines is so nice that I had to do one last skate before I started my month of no skating.

Did you have any bad things happen to you on the trip?

I did leave my camera in Minneapolis and  had to have it mailed to me, so I didn’t have my good film camera for my first six days in LA. I also was pulled over by the cops in LA for skating through an intersection too fast and ended up getting a warning ticket. It was so funny, they pulled me over and started running my ID and I was just rambling on about rollerblading because I was a little bit nervous.

I had my backpack on, was shirtless and sweaty. It was a female cop and I was just like “pull out your phone!” and I had here look at the Big Wheel Blading article about me skating in the RAGBRAI race. I had her pull it up on her phone and told her all about RAGBRAI. I think she just wanted me to stop talking so she let me go with a warning.

Caleb in downtown Minneapolis. Photo by Mike Lufhlom.

What are your skating plans for the rest of this year?

My next distance goal is 150 miles and once I’ve achieved that; I will attempt skating 200 miles. I’m going to skate RAGBRAI again in July, but this year I’m going to do it really hardcore. I’m going to try and make a big commotion and get some momentum coming from it for myself. After the race I am flying to Anchorage, Alaska. I’m going to be there for three months to blade and work on a fishing boat to save up money.

A lady at my coffee shop has a friend who lives in Anchorage and he has his own fishing boat. He told her the fishing season starts in July, but if I come up there at the end of July I would still be able to get a job within a day by just going around and asking for one. I would like to meet up with bladers up there but I don’t know any. I’m definitely bringing my big wheel blades and my aggressive skates.

After I’m done working in Alaska I will spend a week camping at White Sands National Park outside Albuquerque, New Mexico. The family I stayed with in San Diego have a house in Costa Rica so I will be going there for a month starting November 6th. I plan on spending a month in their house and getting adjusted, before I start backpacking across South America on my blades. I want to meet and blade with different skaters around South America so please contact me.

Links

To keep up Caleb’s adventures follow him on Facebook and Instagram.

To see more skating edits check out Bruce James Bale’s Vimeo page, Dakota Richardson’s YoutTube page and Anthony Medina’s YouTube page.

For more great photography visit the Instagram pages of Mike Lufholm, Joseph Gammill, Mashael ALObaiden and Cletus Kuhn.

For information on Oysi frames visit oysius.com. Also follow them on Facebook and Instagram.

Caleb Smith Goes on an Epic Winter Skate Adventure Throughout the USA Caleb Smith is an aggressive, urban and distance skater from Des Moines, Iowa. This past winter he had some time off work and decided to make a trip and get his century title before turning 28.

[d00dt00nz]

Your songs are going to grow up with or without you, and there’s nothing you can do.

Black Friday was two days ago. For the first time in my life, I found myself wandering around a huge rich shopping mall trying to match everybody elses' frantic pace. I felt like a dog trying to rollerblade. These people had a plan. I had a vague notion of “I think I'd like some nice headphones”. In the end, I got my headphones and immediately abandoned my audiophile pretensions about bluetooth headphones. Maybe it sounds a little squashed, but I can just plug them in with an aux cord. It's fine.

Right now I'm sitting across from my girlfriend's bed. She's been asleep for five hours, which is about as long as I've been listening to the Burt Bacharach Google Music station. Google Music's main draw is that its algorithm creates an infinite playlist based around a single band. The songs may or may not be from that band, though I'd say about a third of them are. The great thing about Burt Bacharach is that even without an algorithm, his music is nearly infinite. Bacharach is not my favourite songwriter There's a reason that I could listen to this playlist for five hours. Bacharach's music is the kind of music that can be constantly played in the background at a very low volume. You can listen to it as much or as little as you want. I don't even mean that as a dig, I think that's fantastic. It's a great compromise between thoughtful brooding and sentimental reminiscing – it's about as comfortable as music gets. Unfortunately as a result, listening to it makes me question if the guy's ever had sex... or if he even knows about sex.

Bacharach pretty much invented the genre known as “adult contemporary”, which has never not held negative connotations. The hallmarks of a great adult contemporary song are thoughtfulness, complexity, emotion, professionalism, and a small but consistent drive for experimentation, with everything being stuck together through the glue of a strong dedication to the craft of songwriting. Nobody wants to be adult contemporary. The Replacement's Let it Be is an angry, nihilistic, depressive, coming of age collage that oozes both sexual frustration and sexual confusion. On that album, Paul Westerberg is drunkenly lashing out at basically everything he can in response to being completely alienated from a world where he lacks an identity and nothing makes any sense. It's messy and ugly, but in a very pretty and resonant way. When you compare it to Close to You by the Carpenters, it really shows the distinction of art and craftsmanship. The former has both but the later is jam packed with craftsmanship while devoid of much artistic merit.

I adore Close to You. I also adore Let it Be. At the end of the day, both are fantastic albums. That raises the question – who cares? I think that basically every single discussion about art in the context of such a juiced up medium as popular music is worthless. I'm not saying art itself is worthless. An artistic vision usually is what makes a great and memorable album. I just don't think you need the art. I love Carly Rae Jepson's Emotion, and I love Taylor Swift's 1989. I'd hardly call those albums daring or visionary, but they're fun, so who cares? And this is where things start getting dangerous.

“Who cares” is the code for mediocrity. Nobody who made anything worth anything has ever dropped those two words about their craft, or their art, or whatever you want to call it. Who cares is a lie anyway. The moment you say “who cares” the flags have gone up and the sincerity police are called. You care. “Who cares” is an attempt not to care. It's an attempt to escape. You can't escape. You're going to artist jail for even thinking about escaping. Nice try running from your neuroticism buddy, but nothing will ever get these stupid minute obsessions out from the back of your mind. You're going to be thinking about cadences and midrange frequencies for the rest of your life – and that's a good thing! If you keep things balanced, you can still have a nice life and also make cool art stuff to show people.

I finished my third album almost a half a year ago at this point. I've been meaning to start work on a fourth. I've had a lot of false starts, and it's becoming harder and harder to throw a “who cares” at my own songwriting identity crisis. I'm happy to have finally gotten to a point in my songwriting where  I consider myself to have a grasp on songwriting as a craft. I can point myself at a guitar, or a piano, or a computer, and I can make it happen. I have a trajectory as a songwriter. Unfortunately, in the context of the music I try to make, that sucks. My own songwriting developments have been refinement, but not enrichment. My favourite songs that I've ever written were in a period of miserable depression. It was a period where I basically disappeared to my friends, had no job, wasn't in school, and (to surprise nobody) spent all day indulging in my Brian Wilson-esque fantasies. Brian Wilson comes up among a lot of sad-dudes-writing-music types. It's a resonant myth – the obsessive nerd who pushed himself way too hard, had a breakdown, and isolated himself. At the end of the day though, Brian Wilson's life is a real and complicated story that shouldn't be reduced to a simple archetype. All it does is inspire sad dudes to sit around and feel bad – not that there's anything wrong with that.

The music that I put out during that time in my life wasn't very refined, nor was it particularly honest. I mostly just ripped off the Beach Boys and Phil Spector (even moreso than I do now). At the same time, there must have been some kind of emotional release I was getting there because it was the only thing worthwhile I was doing. All of that music still has some kind of purity to it for me. It makes me sad. I've said it's not very honest, but it's also maybe the most honest stuff I've ever recorded. I think being a shell of a person at that point helped reduce the person that I was into a cartoon, and in turn, write music for that cartoon. There was no labour to the music. The compositions sound easy, even when they're not. It's because they were easy to write.

I think when music, or any art, I made with that lack of self consciousness, it becomes easy. Of course for people who take this stuff seriously, that's the hardest thing. Craftsmanship is the key cornerstone of making something good, and nobody's driven to make something bad. We cling to our craft because we've earned it. We draw maps of the world and then we navigate it. Unfortunately, as those maps become more and more complex, we become more and more obsessed with the treasures hiding in them. It becomes impossible to ignore the lure of our own ambition, and we do a lot of neat things that we're very proud of.

Unfortunately, in our drive to build the biggest, baddest, Bacharachiest battleship to sail the seas, we miss out on being the drunk raving idiot who manages to drive so fast that he flies off earth and discovers the moon. Of course, people constantly launch themselves like that. Most of them fail, and many of them had no chance of succeeding.

It is easy and satisfying to create for the sake of creation, but nobody tunes in to watch Usain Bolt do exercises. At some point I became obsessed with thinking about songwriting, and it wasn't because it was simply satisfying. It felt awesome. It felt like the coolest thing in the world to make something out of nothing, and have it sound like something. I made really lousy music at that time, but the good stuff felt really natural, and it's because it was. I was less creating and more discovering. Now I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'm no longer discovering. I'm afraid that I'm labouring and obsessing. Even if I were to wipe the slate clean and try something else, it'd still be a calculated and laboured attempt. Nobody can ever be who they were. You can't go home again. All we can do is take a step back and try not to worry so much about these things – who cares?

[mina-van1104]

Even though I’m an AMERICAN born & BORN & raised in Nevada & family has been living in Nevada for literally 40 years & same house for thirty years (before I was even born), I walked instead of ran on my treadmill at home with my injured knee, travelled to the woods with my mom (on her day off) & hung out with my dogs, & celebrated one of my aunt’s birthday yesterday.

•

My knee is recovering & could rollerblade now without using too much weight on it. I hurt my knee when a white Ford tried to hit me with their car (on Monday) on purpose & honked at me from behind when they made a U-turn. They snuck from behind me, & honked at me even though there was room in the other lane for them to drive. I had to swerve really quickly & hurt/did something to my knee so yeah recovering from that...

•

Person who shot my car with a bullet/pellet last week around January 9th is highly suspected the neighbors’ friends or families. Their kids spread rumors to other new neighbor kids to hate on us. They also used to openly verbally, harass us, & are seriously racist.

•

Watch out for a Black truck (Dodge Rams I believe), also watch out for a white truck, & white SUV. If you see them in/near our neighborhood, or behind our neighborhood behind my house on Sparks Blvd, please be cautious use your instincts/gut & please report their license plate number. Also it’s not the black truck living directly across from us & not the white SUV in 2265. Hope they get caught! Thank you to everyone who have been looking out this week for mainly the black truck when you guys are near my neighborhood.

•

Highly suspected it’s one of those neighbors or their friends/family of what they made up about us to hate us when we did nothing to them. Blatant racism. I’d like to repeat, believe me when I say this, but I’m not going to explain everything I know on here. I know what I know & I would never falsely accuse anyone. Possible suspected friends or families related to 2225, 2266, & people who used to live in 2235 moved out in July 2019. Please watch out, they are dangerous! Our neighborhood is not even a sketchy area but sketchy people/their families or friends like to come to our neighborhood...

•

Their family/friends are dangerous! If you do not know the full story, please do NOT judge or assume, because I don’t post everything bad that has happened online! I have security cameras like I’ve said for years so yeah, I know what I’m talking about. I love my warm/happy/loving/cozy house & my family will NEVER move, sorry-not sorry! Again, thank to everyone who have helped or are still helping to find the suspects.

•

People who know us well would never say such things to us or treat us like that. We have literally lived here the longest out of everyone & some of the newer people who don’t know us well, just hate on us. People who know us well, actually really like us.

•

*Nevada BORN & Raised & some of my big families living in Nevada for 41 (forty one) years now with mixed family of Asians/ Caucasians with American Veterans🇺🇸, Doctors, News Reporter, Nurses in our- blood-related family & family in-laws, & mixed Asian/small portions of European Descents,etc., it’s not Democrats Versus Republicans & it’s not about which party winning, so do what’s right for ALL people & do not vote for Trump.

•

# Selfie # NevadaProud # NativeNevadan # blessed # PositiveVibes # grateful 📸 💎🐾🏃🏻‍♀️💪🏼 # NevadaBornAndRaised # HomeMeansNevada # Nevada # UNRnevadaAlumnaMay2016🎓 🐾# PostUniversityGraduate 🎓 # WolfPackAlumna 🐾 # BachelorsHealthSciences # PublicHealth 🐺 # 2CollegeDegrees # 2ExtraMedicalLicenses # AllAccomplished 👊🏼 # AlreadyAllAchieved # TrueAccomplishments # integrity # honesty # humble # kind ✌🏼 # RenoBornSparksNative 🤙🏼🐾🐶

[originaldetectivesheep]

The Thirty and One Nights' Momentary Diversion - The Abortive Translation of Elinor Littlebranch

Tonight's tale comes to us from the near-future or an alternate present, as robots and humans, living together, examine what's truly meant by the "self"; where life and death touch that, and just exactly how sexy you can pose in a shirt from a goregrind band.

The Abortive Translation of Elinor Littlebranch

I lifted the clock up, shaking it a little, trying to see if anything would go weird just from getting it rattled around.  I'd already reset it twice in the last three weeks, no power drops or anything, and it was already like an hour behind again.  "Man," I said, "I really don't want to, but I gotta think I've got to replace this clock radio at last."

"I don't get why you haven't done it already," Elinor said from the doorway, leaning against the frame.  "I mean, you cycle out old phones like nothing – what the hell are you so attached to an old clock radio for?"

I turned, still holding up the clock, a finger on the top to keep the long-broken cover of the cassette deck from falling off.  "I've got a lot of history with this – I've had it since I went to college, even before; I first heard Hypocrisy on the radio over this thing, and one way or another it's survived from the era of cassettes to cloud-based streaming, still pretty much working the way it's supposed to.  It's seen the singularity, six girlfriends, three inter-state moves, and now nearly four years of an AI roommate who doesn't know what knocking is, or why she ought to do it around other people's doors."

"I could be your alarm clock," Elinor said, reaching up to tousle her hair like she was trying to do 'sexy', shrugging to almost-slide the shirt she was wearing off her other shoulder.  "I could sneak in here in the morning and blow in your ear, and then sing the theme from Boku no Jinsei nannte daikirai that you always pretend to not get maudlin over until you poke me in the eye to make me shut up."

I set the alarm clock down with a buzz and a clunk, shutting off the broken radio again.  "First off, we both know you wouldn't do that, or if you did, you'd do it once and then skip and laugh when I woke up late for work.  Second off, you know that I know you don't actually like me like that, and that messing around is against our Roommate Best Practices.  And finally," I said, my voice raising in spite of myself, "if you are going to do the 'sexy pose in a dude's big shirt' thing, you need to do it in one that doesn't say IMPLODING GORGE across the chest in bloody viscera.  Come on, Elinor.  Seriously."

"Man, you never let me have any fun," she complained, stripping the shirt off and throwing it randomly at some corner behind the door, slumping away like she was actually mad about me not playing with her.

"Hey – wait – that was my Imploding Gorge shirt!  Don't just take stuff out of the laundry and throw it around wherever!  Put it back in the hamper, jeez!"  The alarm clock started buzzing again, and I dove to yank the cable out of the wall.  I was really going to have to do something about that.

Helping make breakfast – well, for her, huffing esters off the teapot and the bacon pan, and then getting to run the dishwasher because it was marginally easier on the neighbors than playing Insect Warfare records, which was her second choice – improved Elinor's mood a little, and as for my part it was only one shirt I had to pick up, then back checking the news, eating my breakfast, and ordering another alarm clock to show up at work on Monday.  It was easier that way – I wouldn't have to worry about scheduling the delivery when Elinor was off shift, or asking her to take it in, and I could put off actually throwing the old one out a little longer.

"Iain?" I looked up.  Elinor was sitting folded up on the other sofa, her tablet up to her chest.

"Yes? What is it?"

"Do you think you have some time today – to come out shopping with me?" She was looking about as nervous and as hesitant as I'd ever seen her – as it was even possible for a robot to look.

I pushed my laptop back onto the coffee table.  "Sure, I don't see why not; are like Yukio and Traylie and Jamila busy?  It's just, it's kind of rare that you'd want to hang out with me."

Elinor knocked her head back, the thing she did instead of taking a deep breath.  "Yeah.  Yeah.  But – I really need the moral support, and I can't think of anyone else I'd want with me for it."

"What's the deal?"

She leveled down at me again, eyes wavering.  "I've… been saving up, and I want to go out to Micheltage and see if I can find a new chassis I like."

I sat straight up.  "Sure – sure, if you want to.  But – I thought you liked your body just the way it was.  Didn't you just get tuned up like three weeks ago?"

Elinor smiled a kind of wry, kind of half-smile.  "I did – I got the effectors in my arm tightened up again – and now…"  She lifted up her left hand, flexing her fingers; the last two were slow to close, and they didn't open all the way.  "There's something wrong in there; I'm breaking down.  I could change out the arm, but do they even make whole unit spares for this chassis any more?  And it wouldn't be my arm – I dunno how to explain it, but it'd just be weird.  It'd be weird in a new body, too, but maybe it'd be easier than swapping stuff around piece by piece.  But I still want someone I know there with me: I've been in this chassis since I bootstrapped up, and I don't know how I'd handle being in something else."  She suddenly grimaced, looking more concerned.  "Is it okay?  Is this weird?  I don't want to like put all this stuff on you, but I don't know who else I could ask.  If you're –"

"No, it's okay," I said, standing up so I could go find my shoes. "Just let me know when you're ready, and I'll call us an autocar."

"Car? Why a car?" Elinor asked.  "Why not the bus?  It's cheaper, and it doesn't take that much longer."

"Because the last time we took the bus out that far, you got bored and started asking it all kinds of dumb questions, and it nearly missed a bunch of stops.  Don't you remember how that lady was about to haul off and punch you, and the bus had to slam on the brakes and nearly run over that AI guy rollerblading in the bike lane?"

Elinor scowled.  "Man, you really never do let me have any fun around here."  She didn't stop me, though, as I tapped the app to call the car.

Elinor calmed down on the way over, and was unusually calm and reflective as we walked in from the autocar drop station to Micheltage.  I couldn't blame her; it was always sobering to walk in to this place, both for what it represented and how it was almost the last big-box kind of store left.  The signs for intelligent electronics, where you could interview and homestay a toaster you could have an actual conversation with; the wide shopfloor of the latest humanoid and parahumanoid chassis models, with androids and their friends or partners walking carefully around, deep in thought about an almost life-defining purchase; the placement agency, where nervous and lonely humans and nervous, new-booted AIs waited to interview each other as roommates, until the robot got a job and got on their feet – or like with Elinor and me, on and on because we'd actually become friends, friends for what was looking increasingly like life off a brief "Death metal?" "Death metal." "Fuckin' death metal." in the interview booth.  And now here we were, picking out her next chassis.

I hung back – this was her deal, after all – as Elinor wandered through the floor, looking over the different models, posed like Greek statues.  The impossibly humanoid and extravagantly parahuman models at the front, the expensive ones, she drifted straight on past, without even a hint of longing; Elinor had her own ideas of what she wanted.  Budget-friendly but not too cheap, reliable, no extra limbs that she'd have to buy a new wardrobe to accommodate.  As I followed, I got the definite sense of her type; she was sticking closer to, and coming back to, pretty much just the next generation of her own current chassis.  She was, after all, who she was, and she wasn't looking to turn into a juicer or a quadcopter or a centaur, or even just swap modes and identify as a dude robot: Elinor was Elinor, and she'd be Elinor in her new body too.

"Excuse me, can I help you?"  I turned, but the attendant was clearly already talking to Elinor, clearly the one who'd be making the buying decision today.  Micheltage obviously took customer comfort seriously: most of their sales staff presented very conservative and average-humanoid, but the one helping Elinor had a blue undercut and a clearcoat mod on their right arm, showing off the skeleton and cable harnesses inside the chassis.  Elinor was her own person and if she wanted to leave the house wearing her one Maggot Plague shirt with the executioner shoving the Pope under the guillotine, I couldn't stop her; if it let her get to the models she was actually interested in maybe buying before someone could get over and try to upsell her, so much the better.

"I – yeah.  I'm, actually, maybe looking for a new chassis today, I think – could I maybe see what kind of range of options you have for this model?"  Elinor pointed at the one she'd been looking the most closely over.

"Of course; certainly," the salesperson said, motioning towards an alcove that might be a fitting room.  "Won't you come this way?"

Elinor nodded and followed, waving back to me.  "Come on, Iain; come in while I pick."  I hustled up just as they got to the door, the attendant looking me carefully over as if they were trying to decide what exactly our relationship was.  "This is my roommate, Iain," she said, clomping me on the shoulder, almost pushing me ahead onto the sales rep.  "I bet you were wondering if he was like my boyfriend, or some dude I was stringing along like I might want to date him, and wondering what the hell was wrong with my taste, right? Ha!  As if."  Elinor gave me a dig in the ribs going past, and I drove my hands down into my pockets.  That was her nervous laugh, like she still wasn't sure about this.  I could deal with her bad-mouthing me, if that's what it look for her to keep it together, but she was going to owe me for this later.

The "fitting room" was a VR booth; the sales attendant carefully moved icons through the air to show off the range of chassis options, the new features of the new model.  For what it was worth, the verisimilitude was better, the sensors had an improved response range, and there were all the usual promises about less energy use, better battery life, more storage capacity, faster reflex actuation; it wasn't that much different from virtual-showrooming for a new laptop.  Elinor eventually got down to a combination of features that she liked, and wouldn't break the bank, and that they would be able to put up from stock on hand; her current hair color had gotten discontinued, but she picked out another shade that was nearly there, and sat back, nodding, satisfied.

The sales rep looked over the assembled options on their tablet.  "All right, Ms. Littlebranch, if that's your final configuration, I'll send this on to the back for customization, and then we can go along to the test-drive pod, and when the chassis is ready, we can trial you in it.  It'll only be a few minutes to get your options fitted out."

Elinor leaned forward.  "This part – for the test drive, can Iain come in too?"  She was clearly nervous, but the attendant just smiled and nodded.

"Certainly. We're very aware that it can be strange to boot up in an unfamiliar chassis, so in fact we recommend that our clients have someone familiar with them to help them adjust.  Mr. Vanderschaaf is welcome as well."  They tapped on their tablet, and then pointed with an open hand at a doorway that had slid open in the VR wall.  "This way please."

The doorway led on to a short corridor into a spare and medical-looking room with what almost looked like a morgue slab in it for furniture; the salesperson sat Elinor on the slab, and pulled around a chair for me next to it, then left us, checking on their tablet as they went off, presumably to wheel Elinor's new chassis in.  "Well, this is a great atmosphere, and totally not an anxiety trigger at all," I said, looking around at the grim décor.

"Aw, come on," Elinor said, cuffing me on the shoulder again, "it's great.  I bet you want to climb up here and lie down and play about-to-be dead, don't you?"

"That is, uh, exactly the problem," I said. "I know it's different for you, and that you're going to still be you when they transfer you over to the new chassis, but humans can't exactly do that just yet.  I'm sorry if I'm making it weird for you – it's ridiculous, you bring me down here for moral support and now you're having to keep me stable."

"Aww, poor Iain," Elinor said, punching me again.  "You got it so hard.  But I'll make it up to you – on the way out, I'll make a distraction in front of the security camera so you can feel up that deluxe sexbot chassis by the entrance, the one that looks like Jamaica Tasso.  I know you want that glorious fourth-gen nuvo-silicone booty."  I was not going to go around feeling up floor-model sexbots, but before I could say anything back to Elinor, there was a whirr of wheels and electric motors through the corridor behind us: her new chassis coming in.  She lay back on the slab as the sales rep and a couple other techs nestled the new body in beside her, then started to connect up the transfer cables and diagnostic displays between them.

"Thank you for your patience, Ms. Littlebranch," the salesperson said, hanging back as the techs checked all the connections.  "This will take a moment, and you may have a sense of lost time.  You're going to need to power down and go into a save state: when we confirm that the save is complete, we'll trigger a hard shutdown and then transfer your shut-down gestalt into the new chassis.  When we send the hardware boot command there, you'll wake up in your new home." Elinor nodded, her head donking against the hard plastic.  "Then, whenever you're ready, you can start your power down."  The sales rep looked down at something on their clipboard, and Elinor's eyes shot over to the side, to me.

"Iain," she whispered, "while I go under, will you hold my hand?"

"Sure," I whispered back, sliding a hand up to hers along the slab.  "But –"

"I don't care if you tease me about it after," she hissed, looking straight up again. ��"But I'm scared – I'm scared.  I've never been in another chassis; I'm scared about shutting down like this and I don't want to do it alone."  I nodded, my hand slipping over the cool plastic skin and hard-ridged steel skeleton of her fingers beneath it, pressing against her touch sensors as Elinor cycled down and turned herself off.  The techs leaned in, opening panels and activating switches, muttering about the transfer progress; right now, Elinor was somewhere in between the body she'd always been in and the new one next to her, not quite one or the other.  What if something went wrong?  What would happen to her?  Would she be the same – no, she could go back, they couldn't seriously delete the local gestalt just running a transfer.  It had to be.

"And… transfer complete, running the CRC check," one of the techs said, and the other two bent over the other screen, closer to the new chassis.  "CRC is… good, all intact; starting the hardware boot."  I was still holding on to Elinor's hand – no, I was still holding on to the hand of a Burriss-Knepper Model 31 "Alexandra" general-purpose AI chassis, the chassis that Elinor had been using ever since I'd met her.  She wasn't here any more – this wasn't 'her' in any sense that would matter.  I let go, and stood up slowly.  In a couple more seconds, Elinor would wake up, and I wanted her to be able to see me when that happened – I wanted her to know that I was still here for her.  The eyes of the new chassis focused, a flinching behind, and she blinked.

"Elinor – Elinor, are you all right?  I'm still here."  I leaned over as the techs started unplugging their monitor cables, closing up the access panels.  The chassis' reactions were slow, like Elinor was still figuring it out, but at length she looked at me and spoke.

"Yeah. Yeah; it's different, but I'm fine.  It's just… different." It was almost Elinor's usual voice – almost, but not quite, different technologies and different parts in the speaker mechanism. She was obviously trying to use the same settings, but the same positions in the EQ of her new body had different outcomes in the output synth.  She slowly raised herself up, slowly and gingerly, making sure that the new servos would respond, making sure she understood her range of motion.

"Does it – how does it feel?"

Elinor thought for a moment; it was strange, a little bit, to think of her in this new body that didn't barely look like what I associated her with at all, but the way she held herself when she was thinking about something, it was clearly her in there and nobody else.  "I… I dunno what to compare it to," she said at last.  "It's just… different."  She lifted up her left hand, rapidly curling and uncurling her fingers.  "Maybe – maybe kind of like when they cut off a cast."

"You don't know what that's like – when you bent your shin strut out of line falling over that amp you just went to the robotics garage and had them straighten it out with the hydraulic press.  How do you know what a cast is like?"

"When you're comfortable," the sales rep cut in, "perhaps you'd like to take a walk and see how the new chassis feels?  Take as long as you like; we'll stay here with your former chassis and your other things."  Elinor nodded, pushing herself up to stand, wobbling, on shaky legs as she got used to how locomotion was going to work. She took a step, another, more confident, and twirled in place, the plain white standard-issue gown floating up away from her frame.  She nodded over at the door, beckoning me to follow, but stopped going around the slabs, looking down at her old chassis lying still where she'd left it.

"So… that was me," she said, looking it over.  "That's what I looked like – for real, from the outside.  It's a weird feeling – I'd only ever seen myself in a mirror, mostly, so it looks like everything's backwards.  Like it's not real."  She traced a hand along the chassis' arm, across where the actuators for those sticky left fingers were, down under the plastic skin, and then left it, heading out through the hall.  I followed; it seemed like she was adjusting just fine, but you could never really tell.

Elinor seemed to be getting a greater command of her body as she went, more confidence in her stride, as she came out back into the VR fitting pod; the cameras were projecting us onto the wall now, a full-body, full-flow uncanny-valley backwards video mirror.  She turned around to me, half confused, half with some strange expression that I couldn't place, as I came through the door.  "Hey – hey Iain – who is this white-dress whitebread robot chick in here with you, looking like she's too cute for her own good?"

I stopped, brows furrowed.  "Elinor – that's you.  It's just us. And you don't need to fish for compliments like that – if you want to go back and get changed, then –"

"Seriously? Wei-rd," she said, not listening, leaning into the wall like she was looking at herself in a bathroom mirror, a finger yanking her cheek back to inspect her teeth, her jaw armature.  "It sure looks and sounds like she's doing all the stuff I'm doing, but it's so weird – like she looks almost like me, but not really; I'm talking and it's, like, not my voice that's coming out – are you listening to me, or are you listening to her?"

"Elinor, I'm telling you; this is you.  This is you – this is your new chassis.  This is what we came out shopping for – this is the model you wanted."  I was starting to get alarmed; Elinor was pulling at the slack plastic synthskin of her face.

"It – I – she – it's – it's not me.  I'm in there – I'm in there, somewhere, but – but this isn't my body.  This isn't my face – it's not my hair – I – where am I?  Who am I?  Where's my body?  What happened to me?!"  She was shaking, digging her fingers into the skin, eyes defocused and dilated – she was going to rip herself apart.

"Elinor – Elinor – calm down.  We can go back – we can go back – your old chassis is still there."  I put what I hoped was a comforting hand on her arm, trying to bring her back to herself.  "We can go back, and you'll see it – you'll understand, and you'll get better.  If –"

"Right," she said, a strange and haunted note in her voice that I'd never heard before, "right – it's still there – I'm still there – I'm still there lying dead on that slab – I'm dead, and this is a nightmare – I'm dead and reincarnated – my body – I'm still dead in my body and they're going to cut it up and recycle it – I'm dead and I'm going to get ground up and whosever's body this is will come back and force me out and –– " and suddenly, just as suddenly as her fit had started, she went limp, the techs who'd done the transfer holding her up as one of them held in her emergency-off switch, the sales rep murmuring some kind of robot ASMR into her ear as she locked up and shut down.

"Wait!" I yelled, stretching out a hand.  "You can't – she just –"

The sales attendant shook their head.  "She'll be fine. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon side effect of booting into a new chassis, particularly for an AI who's only ever known one body and has spent several years building up a self-image tied to it.  We do these test drives, and have the VR booth set like this for them, just so that if a customer does have a disassociative psychotic episode, we can usually catch it before they do any permanent damage to either themselves or their new body."  They smiled a pleasant and stable smile that had nothing to do with building protection from mental breakdowns into their sales cycle.  "We will bring Ms. Littlebranch back in, and transfer her back to her former chassis; once she's recovered, we'll discuss whether she still wants to go ahead with the purchase."  The salesperson smiled again, and then followed the techs as they carried Elinor's body out; I just shook my head, and it was a while before I got the nerve to follow them back in.

Elinor took a while booting back, at least before she signaled anything that had to do with consciousness; the Micheltage techs had left, giving us some space alone.  "Hey," she said, looking over at me, still flat on her back.  "I guess I really freaked you out back there."

I shook my head.  "No, it's all right – I'm sorry that this happened for you; I don't know –"

Elinor sat up, pulling herself around.  "No, it's all right.  I guess I learned my lesson."  She lifted her left arm up, curling her fingers, looking almost with relief at the sticky ones.  "I was talking with the staff while I was out, and I think I'm just going to have the arm off, as soon as they can get the interconnect bridge for a new-model one in.  I'll save some money, and I guess I still want to keep this chassis around, at least the parts that don't need replacing right away."  She smirked.  "But that was a hell of an experience; I sure hope that by the time your chassis wears out, they've got uploading, so you can freak the hell out like that – and I can be the one watching."

I breathed out, shoulders slumping down.  "I'm glad that you can think of it like that – I'm just glad that you're conscious and you can remember.  When they EMOed you I was sure that they were doing a buffer flush – that they were killing you there, and they'd boot you off the gestalt left in this chassis, and you wouldn't remember anything."

Elinor waggled her eyebrows.  "You know, they might have, and you'd never know."  She smiled evilly at my shocked expression. "They didn't, but I almost wish they did – wouldn't it be wild to have an insane evil version of me lurking in a rack-model chassis that didn't get flushed right?"  She stood up, tracing the lines of an autopsy incision on the new chassis, the chassis that had briefly been her, lying on the other slab.  "What's that old human proverb?  'That is not dead which can eternal lie; And with strange aeons death may die'?"  She turned her head around, smiling, that weird light up in her eyes.

I shook my head, trying to keep down the shivers.  "God damn it, Elinor," I said at last, "if you're feeling good enough to give me the heebie-jeebies like that, we don't need to stick around here any more.  Come on, let's go home; we can even take the bus, if you just promise to stop creeping me the hell out."

[jflashandclash]

Attrition of Peace

Seventeen: Leo

I Descend on a Disco Ball

             Leo figured people would get mad if he crashed the party with several tons of bronze dragon, so he parked Festus in sleep mode on the roof. He, Felix, and Calypso had an easy time breaking in through the roof entrance. He and Calypso talked about going through the front, but Felix seemed intent that the roof was the most direct route. That, and there were about a dozen monsters outside the front. Not the kind of place he’d want to charge in fists blazing.

           Felix, his other “dragon,”  tugged ahead on her leash. Well, she didn’t really look like Felix. Felix was supposed to be a silver dragon companion to Festus, and Calypso’s emergency search-and-ride if he and she ever got separated. Felix had been a beauty: all silver circuitry, with sapphire eyes, and lovely metal. Then Felix got blasted out of the sky by a discus and a Roman ballista when she was out on a rebellious stroll.

           Now Felix was a small, silvery work table. A bit of a downsizing, but Leo figured they’d manage until he could get her original body. It was all he had on hand to immediately insert her control disk into.

Turns out, when Leo programmed her, he hadn’t been specific enough. Who would have known search-and-rescue would be so close to search-and-destroy in the language of programming? And, he didn’t specify Calypso of Ogygia. So, Felix flew off from Calypso and Leo’s Garage and found Kalypso Cassand, the daughter of Apollo who happened to now be traveling with Kronos’s scythe.

As he predicted, as soon as Felix’s disc was inserted into one of the replacement Buford prototypes, Felix continued her last command: find Kalypso Cassand. Leo would worry about the destroy part later. However, he kinda hoped a demigod could take a work table if things got messy.

When they were flying to find Kally and the group that trashed their shack with a party, Felix had suddenly jerked her attention away from California and towards the East.

“You better hope she hasn’t completely malfunctioned,” Calypso had muttered at the sudden change in direction. Calypso had been jumpy since she’d found out about Kronos’s scythe two weeks ago, and—Leo suspected—since she realized their search would lead them towards New Rome or Camp Half-Blood. It worried Leo that Felix detected these people so close to his friends.

Leo didn’t want his friends to be attacked by a jerk wielding Backbiter, but he couldn’t hide his disappointment when they landed in a different part of the Big City other than Long Island or Manhattan. He could really go for some of Sally Jackson’s blue cookies, or for some dryad served brisket, or Coach Gleeson telling him to eat some beef to beef up his arms. Not the most conventional satyr wisdom.

When they landed on this rooftop, he could tell—his friends were close. And that wasn’t just because he heard a hoard of people shout, “Percy Jackson!” somewhere in the floors under him. He knew before he even entered. He liked to think his demigod senses were tingling.

That’s why he asked Calypso to wait on the roof to guard Festus. She seemed to get agitated every time he mentioned his old pals. Besides, several thousand years of isolation didn't make a great formula for an avid club go-er.

He opened the shockingly unlocked roof access and let Felix drag him forward. There was no way Leo could sneak in with Felix. The walking table sounded less like someone on a stealth mission and more like someone wearing rollerblades that tripped into his dad's tool shed. But, with how loud the music was, the noise didn't seem to matter.

The club's set up was weird--or at least Leo thought it was. He was sure Annabeth could say if it was up to code for a monster jam bar. He and Felix went through the doorway, almost fell down a ladder, and onto a metal catwalk. The hanging walkway swung violently as Felix thrashed to jump over the hand railing.

“Wow! Felix, I know you’re excited to search-and-destroy, but cool your jets! I haven’t even installed jets in you yet!” Leo struggled to keep both of them from plummeting to a demigod's-lamest-death: splat onto the disco floor of a monster club, or at least that’s what he guessed was under him.

Felix whined and creaked in protest. Leo could hear it now, But I want to kill nooowwwww.

The ceiling was bizarre. Either Hephaestus set up a Talos sized fog-machine and engineered a hundred tiny fireflies to dart around, or someone took a piece of the sky and tucked it into the top of this building.

Leo couldn't fully appreciate it. He was struggling too much not to fall to his death. He slipped to the floor grate when Felix next jolted forward, apparently thinking a suicidal hop off this catwalk was the fastest route for both of them. Leo skidded forward on his butt with Felix’s tugs and would have flipped right down to splat onto the dance floor had he not slammed his feet into the railing.  He dragged Felix back and restrained her. As quickly as he could, he jury-rigged a locking mechanism for Felix's chain leash. Normally, the average sentient table wouldn't pose too much of a threat of escaping, but Felix was a feisty one.

He just hoped Felix wouldn't bend the railing he tied her to.

From what Leo could see... well, he couldn't really see much. Just the dark fog, flashing lights below, and a few shapes fluttering through the mist. He was pretty sure there was a wall ten feet to his side, and—though he was disoriented—he'd guess this area would be on the right side of the club.

There wasn't much to work with up here. The catwalk made a solid square around a huge cage that dangled from four chains, one at each corner. There was a hole at the top of the cage, so—Leo assumed—the massive disco ball above could descend through the cage.

Leo was shocked Felix's clanking didn't attract any security guards. The music below was so loud though, Leo figured he could drop a screaming Coach Gleeson down there and no one would flinch.

Despite feeling an adrenaline rush at possibly seeing his pals for the first time in forever and getting totally pumped for a potential battle, Leo felt himself sway to the music. It was a club remix of some weird comedy song, and Leo could swear he recognized it, something with two guys singing, And I jizz in my pants, far too seriously.[1]    

Before he did anything else, he needed to take care of that cage. Those metal bars looked like bad news for a demigod—or a T-Rex, based off how big the cage was. Leo patrolled along the exterior, making quick locks to jam the pulley system to avoid any lowering.

Next, Leo needed to figure out how to get down. From the looks of Felix, Kalypso and her group must have been right under—

Someone, that sounded a suspicious amount like Annabeth, shouted in pain.

Leo needed to get down there now.

He made a quick remote for the last non-jammed pulley. "Sorry girl! I'll come back for you! And I promise to bring you a souvenir fit for your search and destroy setting," Leo said to Felix.

The table squirmed and creaked in protest.

Leo lunged at the wires above the disco ball, barely catching it. From his tinkering with the pulley, he knew the metal cords could hold him, but balancing on a shiny, reflective sphere? Not quite as much like riding a metal dragon as he hoped. Maybe he should complain to management to make a disco ball seatbelt.

One button click and he was descending through the fog and into the unknown. The further he got, the more lightheaded he felt. An odd sense of euphoria hit him. He was going to see his friends. He hadn't seen them since—

The fog broke and Leo realized riding a disco ball into the unknown might not have been the best idea. Kinda like riding a reflective shoot here sign. There were monsters everywhere. None of them seemed to pay him mind. Winged ones flapped past him in a crazed dance. One even waved a giant foam hand at him that read I love Eating Romans.

He really wished he could have Festus in here. Having a several ton dragon burst through the roof might have been safer.

But he was already halfway down. As he descended, he saw a small patio balcony lining the second story appear out of the Mist. He quickly recognized two people standing on it from his earlier security footage: a tall African boy with a black and red beanie and a black scarf and an Asian girl with a video camera recording something under him.

The tall boy with ebony skin had a golden bow in his hands. He looked horrified and leaned heavily on the railing of the patio, like he'd just shot Chiron in the butt before remembering that Chiron didn't always have the best sense of humor about being shot in the horsehind.

While the ball lowered, Leo nodded his head to the club beat of Jizz in my Pants and made eye contact with the girl. He could feel the presence of Kronos's blade on her belt. He couldn't remember her name, but gave her his best wait-until-I-get-off-this-disco-ball-look that he could muster.

Leo glanced down to see what she was recording.

What he saw underneath him made his jaw drop. "Holy Toledo..." Leo muttered.

More monsters were dancing below. What he assumed was Annabeth's frizzy, blond hair bobbed in and out of the monsters in a manic search for something she must have dropped on the ground. She didn't appear physically injured, but he had to wonder why she'd shouted in pain. Annabeth didn’t strike him as the type to freak out over losing a hair tie or something, but whatever it was must have been important for her to be sweeping the room in such a meticulous grid pattern.

His heart did a double thud. Piper and Hazel were standing nearby, seeming not to notice Annabeth's wondering. They cheered and danced. Something about their actions looked familiar. It kinda reminded him of when he'd met Dionysus' crazed fangirls, the Maenads.

Although he couldn't be sure, since the boy was half-covering his face, Leo thought Nico Di Angelo was standing beside Piper and Hazel. The boy looked gloomy and annoyed enough to be their resident goth.

There was a small stage directly under the disco ball's path, ending beside Hazel, Piper, and Nico. That's what made his jaw drop.

Excitement made him even more lightheaded. All his friends were here. Percy, Jason, Frank, and Will were on the stage, doing the electric slide and leading the monsters to clap to the beat.

When Jason spotted him, a cheer went up. The four boys jumped up and down. Percy pointed at Leo and shouted, "A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE RETURN OF LEO VALDEZ!" Leo couldn't really hear him over the throbbing subwoofers, but was able to read it off Percy's lips.

Leo didn't know how they knew he'd be here, but he felt honored that they'd prepared a dance number and a little confused why they'd planned it in a club full of monsters.

The disco ball touched the stage and Leo hopped off. This was definitely not what he'd expected to find. Before he could glance around to see if Kalypso or her other friends were in the crowd, or if the Asian girl had dashed off with Kronos's blade, the four boys were patting his back. Jason punched him in the shoulder.

Everyone was smiling. Some part of Leo whined to let this continue. They did care about him. He was important to the group, not just some junky mechanic comic relief. After months of being away, he missed these guys!

Leo tried to play it cool, but had trouble when Jason and Percy picked him up and threw him in the air. Once they caught him, Leo tried to shout, "Woo! Guys! We can party extreme later—we need to catch a person first!"

But no one seemed to hear him. To be fair, no one probably could over the music. He had to wonder where the sound booth was so he could mute it.

The monsters were shouting, "Dance! Dance!" in a throbbing beat of itself. Will motioned for him to take the center of the stage. Leo wasn't used to dancing like this, but—if one dance would get these guys to focus on their quest at hand—he figured he had to oblige.

The five male heroes of Olympus lined up on stage in just enough time to sing to the song's bridge: I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me. Will and Jason were perfectly lined up with their significant others. Piper shouted out a giggled laugh as Jason winked at her and mouthed the words, And when we're holding hands, it's like having sex with me.

Nico looked like he wanted to kill someone, but what else was new? Or really, that he’d just resigned himself to the fact that the rest of the guys were being awesome.

Though… Jason’s behavior seemed a little… off? Leo hoped it was just because Jason was glad he was here, and not because he’d had another amnesia session.

Leo didn't care if he looked stupid while dancing. All five of them did. He kinda wished Calypso would be able to see this. She'd find it hilarious. He got giddy when he saw her walk up alongside Nico in the crowd. She must have found a way to come through the front.

Nico looked about ready to smash his face in with one of the nearby Scytherian Drycean's tails. He sighed and motioned to where Will had taken off his shirt and was swinging it around. Leo didn't care. That kid needed to learn to chill out anyway.

You say I'm premature? I just call it ecstasy. I wear a rubber around--all times it's a necessity.

Calypso, of course, also looked annoyed. Then paled upon noticing everyone else on stage.

Once the song came to an end, the five of them burst into laughter. Percy stumbled, knocking Will and he to the ground. They both giggled.

Nico visibly flinched and looked away. Calypso sighed and pointed at the floor offstage in a come right here Mister motion.

Then it hit Leo how bizarre it was that they were able to convince Frank to do this. Percy and Will? Definitely. Jason? Probably with enough coaxing. Frank...?

Frank seemed to snap out of his revelry. He glanced down at his feet in concern and confusion. Dread coated his expression as he scanned their surroundings.

The song melted into another one by the Chainsmokers. With this song, Leo could see Frank's look of horror spread. Hazel suddenly grabbed Piper, forcing her to stop dancing. Jason's eyes went wide with realization.

Maybe they hadn't planned a dance number for his arrival.

Frank and Jason nodded at each other. Jason grabbed Percy and Frank grabbed Will to drag them off stage. Leo figured he'd better follow close behind. The monsters and some stray demigods cleared space by the stairs for them. Hazel, Piper, Calypso, and Nico made their way to the stage’s exit.

The music clogged for a second and restarted, like it was changing stations. Everything quieted down to appropriate screaming level. As they hopped off stage, Leo could hear Piper gasp, "Oh gods. What just happened?!"

"Nice break dance," a Cyclops laughed, patting Frank on the shoulder. Frank winced, trying to keep his eyes down.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Yea, that was the best performance since the one with the goats!" a ghoul cheered and winked at Will.

Will fumbled to get his shirt back on. Nico walked over and broke the ghoul's hand. The ghoul whined but didn't dare raise a hand to the son of Hades. He crept away, sulking.

Nico gave Leo a weird grin. "Welcome back. I told everyone you weren't dead. And now you got to see the world’s dumbest stage performance."

As though no one had seen his grand entrance with the disco ball, a wave of excitement washed over the others.

"Leo!" Piper gasped. She wrapped him up in a hug. Over his shoulder, he could see Calypso scowl. Leo gave her a helpless shrug, then tightened his arms around Piper.

"Hey Beauty Queen. I missed you!"

Hazel hopped in to join the hug with a laugh and a quick peck on the cheek. "Leo! We're glad to see you're okay!"

Calypso would kill him for this later.

"You're really here!" Jason said. Once Piper and Hazel released Leo, Jason punched Leo's shoulder, like he didn't remember punching it the first time. "That's for freaking us out."

Jason, miraculously, hit him in the same spot as before. Leo grabbed his arm, scared it might fall off if his amnesiac friend forgot again.

Percy grinned broadly until he caught sight of Calypso. Both their faces fell. She looked away awkwardly and hugged herself.

He mouthed the word, "Oh," softly, having a hard time not staring.

Leo's heart sank a few hundred feet through the floor, maybe stopping close to Tartarus.

"You must have all been enchanted to dance," Calylpso shouted, breaking up their reunion revelry. "A child of Dionysus maybe?"

"Yea... enchanted..." Leo muttered. "That's the only way we could have all been dancing on stage."

"Shut up," Calypso snapped at him. He could tell that she knew he'd done that of his own free will. She looked so tense. Leo wanted to give her a hug, but—after all that hugging he'd done with Hazel and Piper—now might not be the time.

Will put an arm around Nico, seeming to want comfort more for himself than his... was Nico his boyfriend now? They looked kinda boyfriendish..? "Why weren't you affected?" Will asked.

"I don't dance," Nico growled with a blush. "But this girl is right. Calypso, I assume? Merry and her group disappeared. And I think we might want to leave now."

Leo remembered all the monsters around them. None looked ready to attack them. Most continued to dance with the music. Regardless, Frank and Hazel checked the weapons at their belts.

A Cyclops with a XXXXXXXL biker jacket put a large hand over Frank and Jason's shoulder, making both Romans jump in consternation. But the Cyclops just chuckled like they were old buddies. "We have orders not to attack you. Great dance. Can't wait to see it on Hephaestus TV."

"Hephasteus TV?" Frank repeated in horror. "You mean—”

"Yea, that'll broadcast at some point. We aren't killing you in exchange for the video footage. It's already downloaded onto the magical intersnar—”

"Internet," Piper supplied, looking queasy at the thought.

“Yes, the internet. Now this way, little demigods and Cyclops hugger,” he said. He ruffled Jason’s hair at the last part.

Leo glanced at Jason. “Cyclops hugger?”

Jason sighed, “Don’t ask.”

Percy glanced away from Calypso, touching his hands to his pockets like he didn’t know what to do with them. He jumped when he realized someone was missing. “Where’s Annabeth?” he asked, his eyes darting around.

He relaxed when he saw his blonde girlfriend crouched on the ground beside a harpy, scanning for something.

“Hey, Wise Girl—”

She raised her head, eyes distractingly searching the floor until she noticed Leo. “Oh! Leo, thank the gods you’re okay.” Annabeth stood up and stepped over to them. She tried to smile at him and look excited, but she looked agitated.

“Did you like Leo’s welcome home performance?” Percy asked. He still looked shaken by the sight of Calypso. He went to put an arm over Annabeth’s shoulder.

Annabeth stepped out of his reach. “Percy, I’m leaving you for a weasel. As soon as I can catch it.”

Leo coughed on a laugh. She’d said it so seriously. Everyone glanced at her, including the biker Cyclops.

“I didn’t think we danced that poorly,” Percy said lightheartedly.

“Don’t try to convince me otherwise. I know we’ve been through a lot, and I promise we’ll still be great friends—”

“Uh, Wise Girl—”

“But, I’ve made up my mind. I know this is sudden, but you can’t sway me from my new found love of this creature—”

Percy grabbed Annabeth’s arms, the pallor returning to his face. “Oh gods, you’re serious.” He searched the faces of everyone else in their group, most of which were holding off laughs, before landing on Piper. “What’s wrong with her?!” he demanded.

“Calex must have gotten her,” Piper said, mystified. She had a hand over her mouth to contain a smile. “I wonder if one of the others thought Merry’s powers wouldn’t work on Annabeth for some reason.”

“Whatever,” Percy said. “Fix it, Piper.”

Annabeth removed Percy’s hands with calm determination. “There’s nothing to fix, Percy. We’re through. That’s just that.”

Piper shrugged helplessly. “I… don’t think I can. Eros’ powers of love tend to be more powerful than Aphrodite’s. From what Calex said, I think you just need to wait for it to wear off.”

“And get teasing material for months in the meantime,” Leo cheered. He fumbled in his tool belt to see if he had a recorder. “Annabeth, in your most romantic words, can you describe this weasel to me?”

Annabeth and Percy both scowled at him.

Annabeth lifted her nose. “This is serious, Valdez.”

He was shocked Percy couldn’t find the humor in this. Everyone else looked ready to burst into giggles, even Frank. Well, one other person didn’t seem mirthful. Leo’s heart crumbled again when he noticed Calypso. She seemed near tears, still avoiding eye contact with any of them. Occasionally though, her gaze would slip up to Annabeth with a hateful sneer.

What would happen if Annabeth and Percy broke up? Not necessarily over a weasel, but—

“This way, little demigods,” the biker Cyclops cheered.

He rounded their whole group up, Hazel, Frank, Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Will, Piper, Jason, Calypso, and Leo, and directed them towards the exit. Leo stepped to be beside Calypso, but she wouldn’t look at him. He wanted to introduce her properly, but she didn’t seem to want that right now. Maybe it would be better outside of the club, where there was less imminent danger.

“Well…” Hazel said with a little blush, “That was… um… I didn’t know you could dance, Frank.”

Frank blushed. “Let’s never talk about this again.”

“Until it shows up on Hephaestus TV,” Jason groaned. “I wonder if we can find out when it’s airing and get the Stoll brothers to steal Dionysus’ TV that day.”

“I kinda wanna know how we looked,” Will said with a laugh.            Nico’s cheeks went a dark red. Leo had a feeling their son of Hades rather enjoyed how Will had looked while dancing. “Whatever, now we’ve lost our main lead on Kronos’s blade and the others. Unless Frank can sniff them out, they’re gone.”

Leo forced his mind away from what must have happened when Percy was on the island with Calypso, and gave everyone a broad grin. Everything would be fine. Annabeth wouldn’t really leave Percy. And Calypso loved him, right?

Besides, they had a job to do. “It’s okay, guys. The Leoman has that covered! Once Superman here flies me to the roof, we can catch a ride on Festus and, I can introduce you to Felix.”

“The dragon?” Frank asked hopefully.

“No,” Leo said with gusto, “The table.”

As they went into the night air, and the Cyclops demanded Jason give him a hug goodbye, Leo calmed down and genuinely smiled. All his friends started asking him the typical questions he’d guess they would ask. Where have you been? What have you been doing? Did you send a silver dragon to attack our camp?

They were excited to meet Calypso, though she seemed really reserved. Leo understood. This was a lot of new people at once. And Percy, but he was trying not to think about that. And the girl Percy left Calypso for that happened to be madly in love with a weasel at the moment.

Leo paused before Jason sky lifted him. “Wait—what weasel did Annabeth see?”

This scene was one of the reasons I wrote this book, s I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it XD Thanks for reading!

Footnote:

[1] I know Lonely Island put this song out eight years ago at this point… but it was still the most appropriate song for this scene.  Though “I just had sex” came as a close second.