#Not even sure this qualifies as toriel anymore

[necrocelium]

Winning

[undertale-rho]

Underearth: Book 4 - Chapter 22

The inside hosted architecture like Frisk had never seen before or since. Ahead of him was a grand staircase that led to upper floors, yet the walls of the main hall also hosted staircases. Doors to other rooms aligned with the floor, along with multiple walls, and a few up in the ceiling as well.

"We should split up." Calibri said. "If anything gets found, send out a pulse-wave and run back here."

"What's a pulse-wave?" Frisk asked.

Calibri brought his hands together to demonstrate. With his eyes glowing red, as soon as his hands contacted one-another, a blast of red energy erupted from them. The pulse of red energy continued outward until it disappeared just a few inches from his hands.

"That was a weaker version. In the event you find something, you'd need to make a bigger one that covers the entire mansion. Just be careful, the bigger the pulse, the more AURA you'll expend."

The two then split up, with Calibri starting from the first floor and Frisk climbing the grand staircase and starting from the second.

Over the following few hours, they searched the massive structure, occasionally running into one another, more often from different angles, with one being on the other's wall or ceiling. After many hours had passed, they both arrived on the roof of the structure.

"Did you find anything?" Frisk asked when he saw Calibri.

Calibri shook his head. "I take it your search was just as fruitful as mine?"

"Unfortunately..."

They both heaved a sigh and sat down. Frisk took this time to look around at the surrounding environment.

"Do you know where we are?" he asked.

"Not a clue. I've never even heard of a place like this." Calibri replied.

"Guess a question regarding its size is also out..."

They both then sat there in silent contemplation regarding what to do. A few minutes in, Calibri spoke to break the silence.

"So," Calibri said, "if your magic isn't sourced from LOV, where'd you get it all from?"

Frisk looked at him. "What do you mean?" he asked, trying to dodge.

"I've been watching your every move since your first RESET. Remember when you spotted me in Snowdin?"

"Yeah, I remember." Frisk gulped.

"During that run, you had a very... novel grasp on magic, having it just... happen around you. It looked like it was in the same vein as LOV, but you weren't killing anybody, so that's out. Next time around, though, you were slaughtering all, LOV's magic developing with each kill. Now, here you stand, or... sit, with masterful control over your own magic. So I ask, how? How'd you go from being completely incompetent to mastering a few types in basically no time at all?"

Frisk let out a sigh. Might as well tell him... he thought.

"It was relatively recently. In the last World. It started after I absorbed Toriel's SOUL."

"Wait, you absorbed her SOUL?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was there. I thought, hey, let's grab this thing, and so I did, and absorbed it, and then suddenly I just... had great magic. Didn't really think much of it further."

"Interesting. And what about everybody else? Everyone I rallied against you. Did you absorb their SOULs too?"

"Of the ones I could. Sans didn't release his SOUL, and everyone after Gerson turned to rock after I killed them, except Mettaton."

"Well that checks out. That would be all the Boss Monsters you fought. And you said everyone after Gerson turned to rock? That'd be around the time I'd gotten the Human SOULs to them."

"What's a Boss Monster?" Frisk asked.

"Remember when I said some Monsters only having a hundredth of the SOUL strength instead of the more normal thousandth?"

"Yeah."

"That's what qualifies a Boss Monster. They're just ten times more powerful than the more average Monster you'll often find."

"I see... So, backing up a bit, does absorbing a SOUL turn you to rock after you die?" Frisk asked.

"That would seem to be the case, with Monsters absorbing Human SOULs, at least. I don't see any other reason it would happen." Calibri then looked right at Frisk. "Would you mind if I... searched your SOUL?"

"What!?"

"Would you mind if I searched your SOUL?"

"I know what you said, I just... didn't understand it."

"I want to use my magic to investigate your SOUL to see if there's any signs of absorption. There's only ever been one documented case of somebody absorbing somebody else's SOUL, and that was Asriel absorbing Chara's. You're a sudden new case that I can actually study here and now. Err, with your permission of course."

"You want to study me."

"Err, yeah... word choice isn't my best quality." Calibri said, nervously laughing afterwards.

"Will it hurt?"

"No, not at all. I had my SOUL vigorously studied for the first ten-or-so years of my life. You'll hardly notice a thing. Maybe a bit of mental discomfort, like somebody looking at you while you're naked since your magical sensitivity is rather high, but that's hardly the same as physical pain."

Frisk took a deep breath. "Alright, I don't see why not. I would like to know a bit more myself, so yeah, go ahead."

"Excellent!" Calibri said, his excitement barely stifled.

Calibri placed one of his hands just above Frisk's chest. As he watched him, Frisk noticed his eyes start glowing red, which was quickly followed by an uncomfortable sensation, like somebody grabbing your very heart. As soon as it happened, Frisk took another few deep breaths.

"You alright?" Calibri asked, his primary focus on the situation at hand.

"Yeah, just... hurry please."

Calibri didn't respond. After a few more seconds, the glowing ceased, along with the awful sensation. No later had it stopped had Frisk collapsed backwards, breathing deeply.

"Incredible." Calibri said. "There's no sign of what I thought would be present after an absorption whatsoever."

"What do you mean?" Frisk asked, still lying on the ground.

"The SOUL ESSENSEs, the source of consciousness, they're all gone. There's only yours. This must be why your head isn't filled with the literal voices of those you absorbed screaming at you."

Frisk laughed a bit. "What makes you so sure of that?" he asked.

Calibri gave him a weird look. "Are the literal voices of those you absorbed screaming at you? Being that it's not you remembering them to make yourself feel bad, but them actually having an actual presence inside you."

"No. There's nothing." he said.

"That's what I thought."

"So, this SOUL ESSENSE. If I don't have it, where'd it go?" Frisk asked.

Calibri shrugged his shoulders. "Passed on, I guess. You did kill them, after all. Passing on is typically what happens after your SOUL is gone."

"Passed on?"

"Whatever you want to believe regarding that. Gone to Heaven or Hell, gone to be re-incarnated, vanished completely from existence, whatever. It's just not here anymore."

"I see."

The pair went silent again. After a few minutes, Calibri started shouting.

"LOOK!" he said, shaking Frisk while pointing off at a dark patch of sky.

"What about it?" Frisk asked, sitting up and looking off in the direction Calibri pointed.

"I saw a dim red glow coming from that direction. It could be something worth checking."

"A dim red glow... What does that have to do with anything?"

Calibri looked back at Frisk. "What all do you know about SOULs?"

"Besides the stuff you’ve just told me, pretty much nothing."

"Great! Long story short, SOULs glow in the dark. LOV glows dark red."

"You think that could be it?" Frisk asked, getting ready to stand up.

"It's better than sitting here, doing nothing."

They both stood up and approached the edge of the roof.

"So where'd you see it?" Frisk asked.

"Right over there." Calibri said, pointing to a small white point of light.

Frisk squinted at the point. Just above the white light, Frisk could just barely see a dim red against the infinite black. Upon spotting it, both Frisk and Calibri jumped from the building, the lack of gravity allowing them to simply drift away.

Drifting through the nothingness, Frisk eventually looked back at the structure they had left. It was now only a pinprick of light, as it had been before. Ahead, the light they sailed towards grew larger and larger. As they got closer, it became clear that the source of the white light was a small dish-like platform, circular in appearance. Floating above the platform was a distinct heart-shaped object, heavily encrusted in an extremely dark-red, spiky object which was separated into multiple plates, a brighter red light shining through the narrow gaps in-between.

"H... holy shit." Calibri said, his voice barely audible. "That's... a lot of LOV..."

"Hello Partner." Chara's calm voice pierced the darkness. Looking down at her, Chara was standing in the center of the platform, directly below the giant SOUL above. Her smile lowered slightly when she saw Calibri. "Who is this? How did he get here?"

Frisk and Calibri landed on the platform. "Wouldn't you like to know." Frisk said.

Her frown reverted to that eerie smile she almost always wore. "It doesn't matter. So, Frisk. Have you thought about my offer? Join me, and we can cleanse this world of the vile presence of Humanity."

"Enough, Chara. I'll never help you destroy Humanity. I'm here to stop you."

Chara laughed. "Fine." she said, her voice on the verge of acid. The chitinous figure appearing behind her. "Then both of you will be the first to die."

Chara vanished completely as the chitinous figure shot forward at Calibri, its progress halted by a sudden surge of bones erupting from the ground. Where the bones touched, chitin of its exoskeleton began melting, a lavender glow emanating from the molten bits.

"Frisk!" Calibri said. "Let's waste this thing."

Nodding, Frisk brought up his hands and launched a stream of fire into the bones. As the fire engulfed the field where the figure was trapped, its chitinous form shot from the inferno, charging Calibri once again. As soon as it escaped, Calibri rolled out of the way towards Frisk, seemingly already knowing that it would charge.

"You really need to stop doing that." Calibri said.

"Doing what?" Frisk asked, stopping the flames while the chitinous figure slowly regenerated from its wounds.

"Throwing fire magic around like you do. Fire magic is real fire that burns SOUL AURA as its fuel, SOUL AURA being what is used when preforming magic. Think mana from a bunch of fantasy worlds. Those bones I summoned were just SOUL AURA, especially with the karma magic infused within them."

"So, when I threw the fire, it burned through the bones?"

"Exactly. Try using soul magic instead. I'm sure your unique formations, whatever they may be, would be more useful than the other magics you've attained."

"But isn't that thing made of magic too?" Frisk asked, staring at its nearly regenerated body. "Shouldn't it burn with the bones?"

"It should, yeah." Calibri said, also watching. "From its lack of major injuries, and being on fire, when it emerged, I'd wager it's extremely skilled at both fire and ice magics, so it could counteract both burning and freezing temperatures."

At this point, the chitinous figure had finished healing itself, its eyes ceasing their red glow as its posture re-steadied to attack.

"We're out of time." Calibri said, getting himself ready to dodge whatever would be thrown his way. "Just use soul magic for now until we know more."

"How? I don't really even know how I'm using what magic I am. I just think, and it happens."

"That's pretty much it. Since you absorbed the SOULs of those Monsters, you gained their power, magical expertise, and the spells they knew. It's gonna be instinctual for you. Don't think about it, just do it."

The chitinous figure's eyes turned orange as a blast of heat and flame shot from its hands, deflecting off a shield summoned by Frisk.

"Good. Just like that, but with soul magic this time." Calibri said. "Like so."

Calibri's eyes then glowed red as a swift red wave of energy shot into the ground and rushed towards the chitinous figure, emerging as more bones that impaled the creature. As soon as the bones struck their mark, numerous skulls appeared around the platform, a small point of lavender light sparking to life within their terrible maws moments after their summoning.

The chitinous figure thrashed through the pain and melting, snapping free of the bones that impaled it, firing another beam of heat right at Calibri, who blocked it with a summoned shield. The chitinous figure then appeared from the flash, its claws burning with murder as it hastily closed the gap between it and this unexpected Human.

"CALIBRI!!!" Frisk shouted, throwing his hands up as he closed his eyes, hoping that something would happen.

The darkness of his eyelids only made the silence that followed worse. It quickly became too much and Frisk cracked his eyelids. Before him was the chitinous figure, barely moving, as particles of sand whizzed around it.

Calibri looked over at Frisk. Upon seeing that his eyes were glowing red, a smile broke across his face.

"Nice work." he said, moving out of the way of the chitinous figure. "So, this is your innate magic." Calibri walked around the small dust storm before heading to where Frisk was standing. "Seems like you've nullified its movement." he said.

"No." Frisk said, his head starting to throb. "I, can't explain it, but it feels like it's moving in there."

"Interesting. So maybe just a slowdown, like slowing time within this specific spot... Most interesting indeed..." Calibri then summoned a small bone-knife and threw it into the storm. The knife, almost as soon as it had completely entered, halted its progress, which was followed by Calibri saying "Interesting..." a bit more.

"Can you do this another time?" Frisk asked, his head feeling like it was being crushed.

"What? Oh, right. Sorry." Calibri looked back at the storm. "Let's finish this thing off. Stop focusing on maintaining the storm. Think about something else."

As soon as Frisk stopped thinking about the dust storm that had formed around the chitinous figure, the dust stopped swirling and fell to the ground, disappearing soon after. Once the storm dropped, the figure and knife thrown in moved again. Roughly a second after it began moving again, impact fractures appeared all over its body, which was followed by it screaming in pain. Calibri, unconcerned at this, pointed his hand at the figure. Simultaneously, the skulls surrounding the platform all opened their jaws and fired great lavender beams at the chitinous figure, beams which held their fire for a quarter of a minute before fading. The target which they fired upon was nowhere to be found when the beams faded.

Above them, the great SOUL in the center cracked, shooting lavender liquid in multiple directions. Remembering it, Calibri had one of the skulls ram the object.

"Wait!" Frisk said upon seeing this, running to Calibri.

"What? We're close, we can end this now. Is that not what you wanted my help for?"

"Sort of, but my goal was to save Chara, remember?"

Calibri looked off to the side. "Right, yeah. I remember." he then looked back at Frisk. "Real quick, though, I have a question for you. What makes you so sure she wants to be saved?"

Frisk raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"From what I've learned with you and past subjects, LOV only gives its host the DETERMINATION to press forward with murderous goals and intents. You wanted power, and LOV convinced you to grow it for that power. She wants to wipe out Humanity, and likely has since she was in the Underground. Why do you think the Dreemurrs are separated as they are?"

Frisk simply stared at Calibri, his mind racing through this information. As it coursed through, Frisk remembered something the Timepiece had told him.

"Yet, despite this, Chara is still alive in there. A tender, loving soul who only wants the best for everyone."

"And what makes you so sure of that?" Calibri asked.

"Because I felt it before, back when those SOUL fragments were connected to my own SOUL."

Calibri went silent, his own mind now racing.

"Alright." he said after a minute. "But if you really want to do this, we're gonna have to work fast. LOV is a parasite, and there's likely not much of those fragments left after that fight."

Above the two, the shell around the SOUL shattered, its separate tectonics turning to dust as a much smaller version fell to the ground, forming a crater upon landing. This inner shell, upon landing, cracked itself slightly. From within, a golden liquid began seeping out.

"We haven't got much time." Calibri said. "Alright, here's what's gonna happen. Pay attention because we'll only have seconds at best. I'm gonna crack open the shell and tear out the fragments. As soon as their free, I want you to use the life magic you got from Toriel to sustain the fragments. That may buy us just enough time to force a fusion back with your SOUL. Understand?"

"Life magic?" Frisk asked.

"Think about being compassionate and using your magic at the same time. Try using it right now."

Frisk tried. Almost instantly, his eyes started glowing green as a green aura formed around his hands.

"Excellent. Seems like you got the hang of it." he said, looking back down at the LOV-encrusted SOUL. Calibri then summoned a long, four-pronged polearm, pointing it at the SOUL. "Ready?" he asked.

Frisk nodded.

"Alright. Three. Two. One. NOW!"

Upon shouting now, Calibri shoved the end of the weapon into the SOUL, golden liquid spilled from the opening like the insides of an egg. As the liquid spilled, small red slivers started to become visible. As soon as they were visible, Calibri dispelled the polearm as his eyes glowed purple. The slivers shot upwards, breaking from the sides of the inside of the shell, and out into the open air. As soon as they exited, Frisk's eyes glowed green again, his hands hovering over the fragments.

Seeing them maintained, Calibri focused his magic into fusing the slivers with Frisk's SOUL. Shortly thereafter, the slivers shot straight into Frisk's chest, the pain of this fusion causing him to scream out, clutching his chest as he collapsed to the alabaster floor and lost consciousness.

Sozo : LOV

Previous First posting First of this book Next

[saveloadreset]

The ask that turned into an essay: People seem to come to some funny conclusions about Chara based of some selective quotes

SLR INSERTION

Rather than putting it at the end, I’m going to be inserting my commentary all over this submission like this, in little ‘pockets.’ Now … 

Trigger warning: suicide mention, self-harm mention

… on to our regularly scheduled submission

The ribbon description is not a hint at previous violence in Chara’s life. “If you’re cuter, monsters won’t hit you as hard.” = “Chara was subject to beatings before running away, long enough to be familiar with the experience” Is the ribbon description not plain and simple advice on how battles with monsters work? We later find out in the librarby that monsters really do hit less hard if they don’t want to fight. Putting the ribbon on and becoming cuter works against even Undyne the Undying,* so it seems that this really is a nature that monsters can’t help.** Narra-Chara uses descriptions to hint at their tragic backstory elsewhere, so the ribbon could be part of that pattern, but there are also examples of Narra-Chara giving us plain and simple advice.** So I see the ribbon description as honest advice, not a hint at abuse or whatever

*  (at least, I’m fairly sure it does) **  (and isn’t sans clever for finding a way around it?) *** Some of the advice is snarky or condescending, but not all of it is.

SLR INSERTION

That’s a valid reading. I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong. But it’s really not any stronger than the readings of people who read it as a sign of abuse. And there’s a piece of info that I think you might find interesting … Did you know, this narration changed?

Here’s what it said in the demo.

Tells you most of what you need to know, really. But Toby looked at this, and decided … Nah, this has gotta change. And I would argue that what he changed it too was much less objective, and much more ominous.

Do with that knowledge what you will.

Chara didn’t necessarily develop their deep hatred for the humans whilst in the village; that could’ve grow in the underground, or at least been a lot more complex than simple revenge for a violent childhood. “Frisk, I’ll be honest with you. Chara hated humanity. Why they did, they never talked about it. But they felt very strongly about that.” = “Chara was treated badly by the humans and hated them for it” Is it not possible that Chara’s hatred developed AFTER falling into the underground? If tween-age me had ran away from home, found what Chara found, and learnt the history and plaight of the monsters, then I can imagine me falling disillusioned with humanity (and maybe even growing a martyr complex). “I hate humanity” sounds like a very angsty and tweenish thing to say. It could be so easy for a child to grow a very negative view of humanity, if first they lost a little innocence (maybe they learnt about war, or maybe they read a sad book (like Kitchen)), found a tragic race like the monsters, then learnt their story and their view of humans, at a time when they were still making sense of the world. Especially with the librarby comment about humans not needing compassion, monsters could very easily teach a child the wrong things about their kind. Maybe things would’ve been different if there was another human in the underground, who could be a good example to Chara, and show that humans can still have compassion, even if they don’t strictly need it. What’s more, Asriel says “humanity”, not “humans” or “the people of the village”. That feels very significant to me, as though there were some quality that “humanity” comes with that had that had Chara’s attention, not a personal hatred for the people of the surface. We know humans in Undertale differ in at least a few important ways from monsters, from their persistent souls and their physical bodies, to their lack of needing compassion and …. whatever’s going on with determination and time rewinding (if Chara knew about this). Could one of these qualities, unique to humans, be what Chara dislikes about humanity? I sometimes wonder (inspired by Underline), whether Chara could reset, and something about this, or something that happened because of this, sparked Chara’s strong hatred? Though, personally, I believe Gaster’s experiment caused the reset ability, somehow.  If Chara’s/Chasriel’s soul survived death (both humans and boss monster’s souls persist at least briefly after death), perhaps Gaster took it and mucked about about with DT and gave himself the ability to play about with time and resetting. Perhaps playing about with that is what scattered him across time. Perhaps he used to soul to build the core (a machine that converts heat into magic?). Perhaps once he had used his ability, maybe something “broke”, and resets became possible for the most DT-filled creature behind the barrier, and only behind the barrier. All of this would have happened after Chara’s death, and Toriel’s comment about knowing previous children somehow makes me think she’s not including Chara when she says that.     Or maybe Underline hit the nail on the head? Maybe Chara’s hatred for humanity happened after some bad timeline that Chara had to reset from. After all, something about Chara, even just “the look in their eyes”, inspires the monsters to not be afraid of humans anymore, and gives them hope. Yet this does not rub off on Chara? Or maybe Chara has a change of heart? …. Though, hope for what? Peace with humans? That not all humans are evil? Or maybe just hope of breaking the barrier? Maybe Chara made a scheming promise to break the barrier and the buttercup plan was what they had in mind, but I somehow doubt that. Maybe the hope was just the feeling of having found a happy place to live. Either way, there’s so many different things to say and think here, that I can’t think it’s as simple as Chara having a personal vendetta against the village for violence they used to receive.

SLR INSERTION

Let’s talk about why people think this about Chara, because that’s worth analyzing in greater depth. The first significant point–it didn’t happen while Asriel was around. This isn’t explicitly said, but if it had, Asriel would know about it. 

Second, Chara is reluctant to actually talk about it. If they hated humanity as a result of schooling in monster schools and learning monster history … Why wouldn’t they tell Asriel at all? Even if they learned it in a reset, it’s hardly a surprise that they look at all these murals and go ‘golly gee, humans are horrible!’ That implies that there’s a specific incident that sparked this hatred in Chara. One big inciting incident. And one that they’re reluctant to share with Asriel, their best friend. 

SO, it had to happen both while Asriel wasn’t there, and it had to be something Chara would be reluctant to talk about. Abuse on the surface is one of the very few things that would qualify for that.

And like, I love underline and everyone should read it (Hi dusty!!!) but they take a couple liberties in order to tell their story. For instance, their Chara needs to meet humans and encounter them, seeing their reaction to monsters, before they go ‘to hell with these guys I hate humans.’ In canon, that cannot happen. The barrier is impenetrable. If Chara had a personal encounter with humans that soured their feelings on the matter it happened before they fell. No question.

That’s not to say that there might be other things that might spark a deeper loathing of humanity. If, for instance, someone in particular groomed Chara into hating humans more, and seeing them as the enemy, to the point that they weren’t really eager to tell anyone about it …  That could do it, too.

But at that point, we’re just dealing in wild speculation. People lean into ‘Chara hates humans because they had  bad encounter with humans’ because it’s the Occam’s razor solution. It’s pretty strong. Personally, I imagine it might have had more to do with Gaster’s meddling, but speaking objectively, from what we know now, it’s more likely the humans Chara knew were garbage to them.

Dying was not on the table until the buttercup plan “Travellers who climb the mountain are said to disappear.” + earlier context = “Chara deliberately climbed Mt Ebbot to commit suicide” We know falling into the hole in the cave in Mt Ebbot was an accident, not deliberate. I also feel that it’s much common for children to run away from an unhappy situation, rather than think of suicide. Committing suicide and commiting self-harm, as some seem to think is implied, sounds like the actions of a teenager, not a child. Also climbing a mountain, one that people don’t return from, doesn’t sound very suicide-y. My intuition and experience with children is they get quiet and they run away. Well, Chara ran away from home. In the family photo, Chara is hiding their face shyly. Chara revealed private and important things to only their best friend, who kept them secret. Chara strikes me as a reserved, but bright child, who had a bit of sadness inside them. Falling into the hole in the cave was an a ccident, after apparently exploring said cave out of curiosity. That sounds more like a child who has run away from home with hopes of finding a better place and never having to return, than one who intends to end their life.

SLR INSERTION

Okay, let me get this out of the way right now before it riles me up too much. You’re entitled to your headcannons and nothing says explicitly that Chara wanted to kill themselves, but if you think someone is too young to self-harm and want to kill themselves, you’re dangerously wrong. 

At risk of getting too personal, I was chewing on my arms so much they were more or less one big bruise by the time I was elven or twelve, and already chasing off thoughts of … You know. That’s a false assumption and a pretty dangerously wrong one. Whatever else you take away from this post, please at least revise your understanding of that. It’s important.

Secondly, we don’t really know how old Frisk/Chara are. If I had to guess, I’d throw it somewhere around thirteen years old, because that’s Ness’ age in earthbound. But ‘kid’ can mean a lot of things. Preteen? Prepubescent? Teenager? All kids. You can’t really narrow that down.

And like, we know that Chara’s fall was an accident, but … You don’t climb a mountain it’s said nobody returns from if you really think your life is precious. There’s more, but I’ll get into that next insertion.

The buttercup plan was not about a long standing wish to die buttercup plan + “I know why Chara climbed the mountain. It wasn’t for a happy reason.” + earlier context = “Chara was suicidal, even before falling into the underground” Surely, the buttercup plan was not about a desire to end their life, but about sacreficing themselves? I know self-sacrefice and suicide kind of functionally have the same end, but we all know the differing contexts makes all the difference. In suicide, your own death is the goal, in and of itself. In self-sacrefice, there is some end that your own death helps achieve (even if that end could be achieved through other means). I don’t think Chara was lying to Asriel about the buttercup plan being, at least partly, a plan to break the barrier. I can certainly imagine adult me, with all my fully functioning coping mechanisms, stable mental state and confidence in life, getting tempted (and tempted is the important word) to stand in front of a monster I trusted and offer my life to them, if I was in either Chara or Frisk’s shoes, stuck underground with these tragic people that deserves better. Not out of any self-hatred or suffering on my part, but out of sympathy for their plight. Who wouldn’t want to help these people if they could? I won’t ask who else would be tempted, but I think a child with less life experience and weaker coping mechanisms would quite possibly be more than tempted

SLR INSERTION

Why not both?

I think you may be ignoring some of the actual context of that conversation with Asriel. Like, let’s chart the followup to what he says. It begins with Asriel asking Frisk why THEY climbed the mountain. Was it curiousity? Was it fate? Or … ? And he trails off here. He had something to say, but then suddenly elected not to say it.

Let’s not kid ourselves, he was about to ask Frisk if they came to kill themselves, and then thought better of it.

And from that conversation he follows immediately into Chara’s mysterious, sad ‘reason’ to climb the mountain. Immediately after electing not to ask Frisk if they came here to die. It’s not proof. But. It’s kind of hard to shake that off.

I mean you’re right. CLEARLY Chara wanted to save monsters, and that’s why they came up with this plan. But this plan is stupid painful. Buttercup poisoning is awful. And a child who comes up with a plan to kill themselves like this never thought too highly of their life in the first place. 

I think you’re right about why they did it. But I don’t think you’re correct about cutting Chara’s self-loathing out of the equation completely. It might not be why came up with the plan. But I think it’s definitely a factor in whether they thought it was worth it.

For instance, when Asgore sometimes kills himself at the end of the neutral routes, he’s killing himself because he wants to give Frisk the chance to find a way to free his people. But if he really believed that was the biggest hope they had, he would have killed himself when he came to trust Chara and given his SOUL to them. What changed? 

He hates himself, he thinks he’s a horrible person, he doesn’t think he deserves to live. He wants to die, and that makes the decision to give up his SOUL easy. Sound familiar?

And it’s not like suicide isn’t rare here. It’s all over the place.  Undyne meets Alphys as she’s staring contemplatively into a dark pit and if Mettaton or Undyne die, in the ending, Alphys mysteriously disappears. Toriel tries to trap you in a situation where if you DO get past her, she won’t be lonely and afraid anymore because she’ll be dead. As Flowey, when Asriel gives into despair he destroys himself and, in his own words, ‘decided to follow in your (Chara’s) footsteps.’

I don’t think Chara took Asriel for granted. That just doesn’t make sense to me. *the lab tapes* = “Chara took advantage of Asriel, and was mean and manipulative to him” Chara and Asriel really were best friends. Every source of information about their relationship, besides the tapes, makes that clear to us. The “walk of feels” tells us so. Geno-Flowey tells they played together in New Home. They shared clothes and a room. Asriel had all the toys on his side of the room, while Chara had just a photo, pointed at the head of their bed. Gerson tells us the Dreemurrs’ behaviour embarrassed Asriel and Chara. Chara had secrets about themselves that they privately revealed to Asriel, and only Asriel, given that none of the other monsters know what Asriel tells us. The kinds of things Asriel reveals to us about Chara are things that sad children keep secret, revealing only to those they trust. And I think Chara does trust Asriel. After all, he proves himself trustworthy, keeping the secrets, only ever revealing them privately to Frisk after some very significant events. Asriel even has an air of privacy in the last conversation, like he’s revealing private things that aren’t meant to be shared (to the person he says he would replace Chara with, I might add, which is gut wrenching to hear because I think Asriel was the best thing to ever happen to Chara). Asriel also comments repeatedly about how Chara being the only one who ever understood him. I think there were things Asriel told Chara that, either he didn’t tell anyone else, or the he felt only Chara truly listened to. I’m not saying there were no secrets between them (after all, Chara doesn’t talk about why they hate humanity). And what’s more it seems Chara’s (implied) interest in flowers failed them and, despite their knowledge of them, fed them to their new dad and got him really sick. Maybe Chara’s botany didn’t fail them and it was deliberate, but maybe it was a joke, the consequences of which Chara didn’t process and laughed away. Maybe it was when Toriel got upset at the two children, that Chara was forced to realize what they’d done. Maybe that sparked the martyr complex. Chara sounds like a fan of poetic justice, so I can easily see the way they chose to die, and the idea of becoming a martyr in the first place, being related to the poisoning incident. I can imagine a stubborn kid like Chara, and Chara apparently takes after Toriel, who is very stubborn, you don’t listen to your crybaby brother’s fears when you came up with a plan like the buttercup plan. I’m not saying Chara was or wasn’t the greatest person, but at worst, I imagine Chara as like one of the kids from The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson. It’s a story about a girl who lives in a care-home (think orphanage). The kids in the book are sometimes horrible to each other, but despite the kids literally having nothing in common with each other except that they live in the same care-home, there is clearly a shared sense of family between them. You might say some of them are trouble makers, but you wouldn’t (if you had any sense of empathy) call them bad kids.

SLR INSERTION

I have nothing to say here. I think Chara loved Asriel deeply.

[cluelessnamelessao3]

But It’s Not Funny

15. I’m Not Laughing Anymore

You would be lying if you said that you were doing well.

Despite the zoo adventure and other various simple hangouts, you were still preoccupied over the conversation with Frisk and Flowey. There was worry embedded in your heart over the condition of those kids and their fate. There was a sense of fear that hadn’t left you since that day.

Though, you had stopped trying to research. There was just nothing to research—at least nothing with even an ounce of validity. You had toyed with the idea of talking to one of the monsters, like, perhaps, Toriel, but you were hesitant. Frisk seemed very keen on secrecy, did Toriel even know about their purported powers?

You could talk to Alphys, maybe. She seemed the most qualified of any, what with her background, to explain monster and human magic. Yet, still, how could you frame your line of questioning in a way that didn’t expose Frisk? How would you explain your sudden interest in magic, souls, and the history of the monsters? Prior, you had been relatively accepting—preferring not to question your friends about their past but allowing them to share what they wished to when they wished to do so.

Then, there was Sans. He was the first person you had considered talking to, however, you had a sickly gut-feeling upon the notion. Additionally, you remembered Frisks words—after all, how could you not? They had played in your mind on repeat, occupied your night-time musings, and haunted your daydreams.

“No one knows…?” you had asked.

“Well, I think someone does… but I can’t exactly talk to him about it. He hates it. He made me promise that I wouldn’t reset.”

He. He hates it. He. He made them promise. He.

There were few “he’s” that Frisk could be referring to. Though, what were the odds? Surely, Frisk knew far more of the monsters than you did. What were the chances that they were referring to Sans? Perhaps, Papyrus?

You tried to picture Papyrus in the situation, but it just didn’t fit. Someone that sweet and that hopeful could not be privy to such devastating information.

Which, inevitably, led you back to Sans. You could certainly see the effects of trauma in his tired bones—hah, making puns even without your skeleton friend. Considering these things brought you also to a memory of Sans’ late nights. He often seemed like an insomniac, unable to sleep for the thoughts in his head. He’d confided in you about his nightmares; you had thought at the time that they were just fears and worries manifesting in his dreams. You remembered him talking about violence, about things that had happened, yet had never truly happened. Most poignantly, you remembered him admitting that sometimes it was hard to know what was real and what was not.

All evidence pointed towards the mysterious “he” that Frisk mentioned being none other than Sans.

Still, though, you were reluctant to ask him. The feeling resided deep within you; from a place you couldn’t identify. You just knew, it was not a conversation you wanted to have—or perhaps, you just weren’t ready for it yet.

So, it brought you back to Alphys. Perhaps, it would not be so hard to talk to her about magic without revealing anything—you questions could be disguised as curiosity that you had not entertained out of respect for them.

You needed to talk to Alphys, though it struck you that it would be difficult to question her with Undyne around. You needed to talk to Alphys alone.

Would she even want to talk about magic? Or, for that matter, what happened in the Underground?

Your phone buzzed, bringing you back into the present moment.

You looked around you, taking in the colourful shop around you and the quiet of a slow afternoon. Although Frisk had been allowed to resume working again—a fact you had been excited (and apprehensive) about, Frisk hadn’t come in today, apparently having too much work to catch up on in school. You hadn’t minded, knowing that the middle of the week was always slow for you in any case. Though, you did miss their company.

Gingerly, you grabbed your phone off of the counter and checked it. Just one message flashed on the screen, from Sans.

Sansational [12:50 pm]

knock knock.

You rolled your eyes, though a soft smile did grace your lips.

XXX–XXX–XXXX [12:51 pm]

who’s there?

Instantly, a response appeared.

Sansational [12:51 pm]

wendy

You played along, texting back “wendy who?”

Sansational [12:52 pm]

wendy you think we can go on a date?

For a moment it felt like your heart had stopped; for all too long you simply stared at the text message. Date? You thought, feeling not entirely unhappy with the notion.

However, before you could formulate a response, your phone dinged again and then again. As you opened the thread again, two more responses popped up.

Sansational [12:52 pm]

uh * coffee date

like we did before

lol

oops

You could feel a wave of disappointment wash over you, though you couldn’t identify why. You shook yourself and typed out a response.

XXX-XXX-XXXX [12:53 pm]

cant leave now, at the shop alone

after work?

Sansational [12:53 pm]

how about dinner?

 The rest of the day went without much incident, although Greater Dog did come in for a quick groom—apparently their family was taking photos today and he wanted to look his best. You smiled at the image of their huge family getting together for pictures—how cute.

As you were cleaning up the backroom and locking up, there was the sound of the door chiming.

Without looking, you called out, “Hey, we’re closed!”

“That’s the hope,” came a familiar gravelly voice.

You smiled, emerging from the backroom with a dirty, hair-covered rag in hand, “Oh, hey Sans! I didn’t know you were coming here.”

He looked you over, you with your apron and washcloth, with dog fur littering your clothes, and your hair tied back—though now strands of it were sticking out at odd angles.

Sans appeared as cool as ever, hands in the pockets of his deep blue jacket, wearing his typical gym shorts and converse. It fit him, despite the fact that you had never seen him partake in anything remotely sports-related, or for that matter, active.

“Thought you might be bonely without the lil’ squirt.”

You nodded, “Yeah, actually, I used to love working alone, but now? I’m so used to having someone with me.”

Luna, at that point, trotted up to Sans with her tail lowly wagging. She sniffed at him curiously, ears at attention, though they relaxed once he placed a skeletal hand on her head.

As he pat Luna, you finished cleaning and closing up the store.

The two of you chatted idly as you worked, and he continued to give Luna the attention she deserved.

With him here, you couldn’t stop thinking about Frisk and their words. It would be so simple just to ask—“hey, do humans have magic?” Or anything about the conversation without giving too much away, yet, when you looked at him, something stopped you.

Perhaps, it was the clear exhaustion rimming his eye sockets, or the subtle way his shoulders were hunched. Perhaps, it was something in you that was making you hesitate.

“Almost done?” His voice broke into your thoughts, drawing you back from your musings.

“Just finished!” You said with glee, before adding, “Can we stop at my place first? I definitely need to wash-up.”

You gestured at your fur-covered self.

“Fur real,” Sans laughed, “S’no paw-blem.”

You snickered at his joke, then got ready to leave.

 It was a short walk to your apartment building; however, you had the uncomfortable sense of being watched. Every time you looked around, though, the streets were empty. Sans had noticed your nervousness, even trying to question you about what was wrong, but you couldn’t quite articulate what was bothering you.

Still, you arrived uneventfully.

“Okay, just give me like fifteen minutes to shower and dress, then we can go.”

He just nodded from his place on the couch, Luna already having clambered into his lap.

Fifteen minutes later, you were fresh and ready to go.

“So, where to?”

 You arrived at Grillby’s as afternoon rolled into the evening, it was still brisk outside—winter still in full-swing, though it hadn’t snowed yet. The sky was clouded and dark, the air cool and still, but you felt warm as you spent time with Sans.

After securing a booth, Sans ordered a bottle of ketchup, a burger for himself, and one for you. He also ordered two drinks, though you weren’t sure what they were.

Grillby was serving, today—you were always in awe of how much he could do. He cooked, he cleaned, he worked the front, all while keeping rowdy customers from causing a scene.

Soon enough, there was food in front of your face and drinks were served.

Sans, as per his usual, absolutely drowned his burger and fries in ketchup—also taking a sip from the bottle for good measure.

You shivered, watching, before digging into your own plate.

The drink was as colourful as the previous you’d had on other occasions and though you had the temptation to drink it quickly, since it tasted so good, you had also learned your lesson from the last time.

It settled your nerves, making you more at ease. You hadn’t even realised how tense you had been beforehand.

“How’re you feeling?”

He always seemed to sense your mood.

“Better,” you answered truthfully.

“What was wrong?”

You paused, trying to figure out what to say, “I had a lot on my mind—what with the attack on Frisk and everything.”

“Did Frisk talk about it to you?”

You shrugged, lying, “Not really…”

Sans quirked a brow, then sipped his own drink, “I see.”

Suddenly, you saw an opening.

“Why?” You asked, “Did they talk to you about it?”

The expression on his face was unreadable before an easy grin took over once more.

“The kid and I get along, but we’re not exactly—I’m not exactly the person they go to with their problems.”

That surprised you, after all, you had seen the easy way that they joked with each other. They seemed like good friends, though with the context of your conversation with Frisk, it almost made sense that there would be some underlying problems between them.

He finished his drink, prompting you to drink yours a little faster. As you took the last dregs of it, he ordered another round.

“You trying to get me drunk?” You asked cheekily.

“Just trying to,” he paused, holding his drink up, “raise your spirits.”

The pun took a second to hit you, but you laughed wholeheartedly.

“Do you know why they call alcohol spirits?”

“No?” He responded quizzically.

“It’s because when they make alcohol, they distil it, and when they do that it is like they’re taking the essence, or the spirit, of whatever they use to make the alcohol.”

“Why do you know this?”

“I know a lot of things.”

He raised a browbone, “Oh?”

“You’ll just have to find out!”

“Oh, I will,” he said with a smirk.

The tone of his voice gave you thrills, though you weren’t sure why. You were feeling pleasant—pleasantly full of good food, pleasantly warm with the drinks, and pleasantly at peace with your company.

“I don’t know a lot about monsters, though,” you admitted.

“Well, I don’t think the humans knew about us.”

You nodded, sipping on your drink thoughtfully. Maybe, it would be alright to press a little bit.

“How did you guys get underground?”

Wrong question. The lights of his eyes disappeared for a moment and reappeared just slightly dimmer than before.

“It… is complex. I guess, the short of it, is that humans forced us into the Underground.”

You hummed in agreement, having already knew that much.

“Do you know much about magic?”

“Not a lot,” you said, thinking about the conversation with Frisk. Despite all that you had learned, you, in truth, still did not know a lot.

“Well, monsters are made of magic and can use it, but humans used to have magic too.” He stopped to take a drink, almost as though gathering his courage, “Several mages—human magic users—got together and used their powers to trap the monsters below Mount Ebott.”

“That’s awful, I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged.

“Humans don’t have magic anymore, do they?”

Something in his grin twitched, but he kept his easy smiling façade.

“As far as we know, most don’t.”

You noticed his word choice—not “they don’t,” but “most don’t.” It confirmed Frisk’s proclaimed powers. He knew something, but you weren’t sure what or how much.

“What’s with the sudden curiosity?”

You felt sheepish, not wanting to reveal anything that Frisk and you had talked about.

“I just wanted to know more about you guys, you know? That’s what friends do, they’re interested in each other’s history.”

The words felt like a lie, although they weren’t technically untrue. You were curious, you had been curious, but you certainly had other motives for asking these questions now.

He seemed to accept your answer, though.

“To patella you the truth, I don’t like thinking about it that much.”

Guilt washed over you like a sickly pestilence, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“S’okay, natural to be curious. I’d tell you anything you want to know.”

“You’re not ribbing me?”

He chuckled, “No bones about it. I appreciate that you wanted to be sensitive. I’d rather you know the truth from an actual monster than those crazy theories you humans post online.”

At that you laughed, your face flushing with some embarrassment, “Yeah, it didn’t take me long to figure out those were a skeleton of crap.”

He laughed, too, the sound rich and deep. It made you feel warm; it made your stomach squirm. You liked his laugh. Well, you liked his voice, too, with its almost sultry cadence.

“Would you show me your magic sometime?”

His skeletal face became tinged with blue, though you weren’t sure why.

“Sure, I can show you a trick or two.”

“Cool.”

 A couple of hours later, the two of you were certainly feeling the effects of those drinks, but it was entirely pleasant. Conversation came easily and naturally between you; the dinner—you hesitated to call it a date—had been a much-needed reprieve from everything that had happened in the last few weeks.

“You ready? It’s getting late…”

You nodded, checking your phone, and feeling a sense of surprise at how quickly the hours had passed.

“Geez, didn’t realise the time!”

Sans made to get up, reaching out a hand for you to take, “Need a hand?”

“Is that a clock pun?”

He snickered, you grabbed his hand gently, and he pulled you out of the booth and the restaurant. You liked the feeling of his bony hand as it engulfed your own. He was soft, but still firm.

You didn’t let go, even outside, and he didn’t protest.

The two of you walked down the street, hand in hand, in easy silence. All too soon, you reached the doors of your apartment building, but you didn’t want this night to end just yet.

“Want to come upstairs?”

He wiggled his browbone at you, to which you sputtered and blushed.

“Not like that!”

“I didn’t say a word.”