#OH!! her and N have matching bracelets on their tails. this is so important

[lovexmemonster]

My uzi interpretation !!

[vroomvroomkachowboi]

The Gift of Magi

smut, fluff, angst: fluff ig

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem)

word count: 1.8k (1897 specifically) 

summary: it’s valentine’s day soon, y/n decides to sell something to get draco a gift, since she’s poor, she sells a valuable item to buy him something,  and draco’s gift relates to the item she sold  (this is based off of that one christmas story “the gift of magi”, except its valentine’s day and draco is obviously not poor)

warning: i think curse words, and i barely proofread my one shots so, and math sort of   

a/n: i hope y’all know what story i’m talking about because then it would be embarrassing for me lmao. (if you’re confused just search up mickey’s once upon a christmas, you’ll probably recognize it) omg the amount of math i had to do for this one shot is ridiculous,  but i’m actually really proud of this, also he won’t be very draco-like 

Valentine’s Day would be a lot sooner than later. The day of love would be here in 2 days and Y/n still needed to buy a gift for Draco, her boyfriend. Unfortunately, she was just as poor as the Weasley family. She felt bad, Draco loved to spoil her even on regular days, since the Malfoy’s were filthy rich. She just wanted for their first Valentine’s day to be perfect, she almost couldn’t send him anything during winter break. He, however, sent her many gifts that she wasn’t expecting. She just knew Draco was going to spoil the shit out of her for Valentine’s Day.

Thankfully it was Saturday, and she could go into Hogsmeade, and fortunately for her, Draco had to stay at Hogswarts to study for an important test in potions class, which gave her some time to go and look for a gift. The first place she’d go is to Honeydukes, she’ll buy him his favorite candy first and see how much money she’ll have left over and find him a suitable and cheap present.

When she arrives at Hogsmeade, she runs into Honeydukes and begins collecting all his favorite candies, she paid for them and left, trying to find a store that sold a good enough gift for her boyfriend. From the corner of her eye, she saw it.

The perfect gift for Draco.

Her friend had told her about a new jewelry shop at was right by Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. She walks over the window to get a closer look. On display, at the window, she stared at the ring. A silver snake ring. It had a real Victorian style, the snake would loop around his finger 3 times, each scale was defined from the tip of the tail, to it’s end of it’s face, and the snake had emerald eyes. It was truly meant for Draco.

Her heart dropped when she looked at the price. 150 galleons?! How would she afford the ring, she only had 20 galleons left, and she had to save it for a while, where would she get 130 galleons?

She began to fidget with her necklace. A habit she did when she was nervous. It was a gorgeous minimal gold necklace with a moon on it. She found it on the street when she was younger when she visited the muggle world as a trip. Draco loved it as much as she did.

Coincidentally she saw a sign at the window saying “We buy jewelry as well!”, the idea popped into her head at that moment.

She walked in and saw the beautiful jewelry around her, she never got to go into stores like these since she barely had any money, she became so distracted in the beautiful earrings on display, that she didn’t notice a middle-aged woman standing right next to her, not until the lady cleared her throat for her attention.

“Hello, young lady. How may I help you today? Looking for something in particular?” The lady spoke in her strong London accent. Y/n blushed in embarrassment. “Yes. I’m getting a present for my boyfriend. I saw the sign, and I want to sell this,” She said, unclasping her necklace, and handing it over to the lady. The lady put her glasses on, which made her eyes look twice as large, as she inspected Y/n’s necklace. With a wave of her wand, the lady tested for real gold in her necklace. The woman looked at her necklace for a good minute before looking back up at Y/n.

“It is real gold. I will give you 140 galleons for this.” The lady said. Y/n eyes widen. That was a lot of money! She didn’t even know that she had something so expensive hanging around her neck for so long. For a moment, Y/n thought about saying no, but she thought about how perfect the ring would be for Draco and said yes. The lady handed her 140, giving her in total, 160 galleons.

“Is that all I can do for you miss?” The lady asked. “Uh, I saw that snake ring in the window. I’d like to buy it please.” Y/n said to her. The lady opened up a cabinet on her side of the table. “Size?” She asks. Y/n tells her Draco’s ring size and pays her the 150 galleons. Leaving her with 10 galleons left over, she leaves Hogsmeade and goes back to Hogwarts to prepare Draco’s gifts.

Valentine’s Day finally arrived. Draco had his owl send Y/n a letter, telling her to meet him at Astronomy Tower after the end of classes. She waited all day to see her boyfriend, unfortunately, they didn’t have any classes together, but he did say hello in the morning, and they both pecked before telling each other “Happy Valentine’s Day”.

But finally, the end of the day came, and Draco and Y/n planned on eating their favorite foods and exchange gifts at the Astronomy Tower. She ran out her final class, and into her dorm. She wanted to get all dolled up for the date, she did her makeup and put on a cute and date-worthy outfit, since it was a date and Draco was always dressed up in one of his black suits. Finally, she put on an outfit she felt and looked good in and she knew Draco would also enjoy it too.

She went up the spiral staircase that led up to the tower, Draco was there, leaning on the railing, wearing his all black suits. She let her presence be known as she ran up the stairs, Draco saw his girlfriend’s head pop up and smiled.

Before they said anything, Y/n ran up to Draco, and threw her arms around his neck, embracing him in a bear hug, he returned it by wrapping his arms around her waist. One of his hands made it’s way up to pet her hair, “Hey love, happy Valentine’s Day.” He whispers. She let go of his a little to face him but connected her lips with his, which he immediately kissed her back, holding her face with one of his cold, large hands.

“Come sit, darling. I brought you’re favorite, y/f!” He says and lets go of her. He sits on the large blanket he brought, and she sat on the opposite end, with their foods sitting between them. They talked and laughed for a while, until he brought up the topic of gifts. “Can I go get my present for you, my love?” She nods. He gets up and grabs something from a dark corner. He pulled out a huge teddy bear, a box of all her favorite candies, and a bouquet of all her favorite flowers.

She knew it. Draco did go all out for her, she can’t say she surprised. “Awe thank you, Draco! Wow, you didn’t have to get me so much.” She says. “But I wanted to darling. I love to spoil you, the look on your face is all worth it. Plus I don’t mind, I have plenty of money.” He says back. She gets up and grabs Draco’s hands, kissing both of them. “Thank you, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.”

She saw Draco’s heart melt right there, she kissed him before he said something cheesy. As always, Draco puts his skinny pale hand to her face when they were kissing, something she always loved. “I love you.” He says as he pulls back. “I love you too, Dray.” She says, smiling at him.

He looks down at her outfit, “I forgot to mention, that I liked your outfit love. You walked in, and I thought I saw an angel.” She laughed at his words. “Thanks, baby. But enough with the cheesy compliments.” They both laughed at her words. “I didn’t get you as much as you got me, I only got you 2 things.” She pulls out her purse, pulling out all the sweets she bought at the shop. His eyes lighten up. “Awe love, you got all my favorites in here!” He thanks her and puts the baggie of candy down on the blanket with the food.

His brows furrowed in confusion. “Uh, wait. I thought you said 2 gifts?” He questions. Pulling out the box containing the ring, she hands it to him. “I really hope you like it. I almost couldn’t get my hands on it. I saw it at Hogsmeade when you were studying for the potions test. I saw it at the window, and I thought, ‘that was made for Draco.’” She says, suddenly feeling nervous about Draco if liked the gift she got him.

Draco smiled as he pulls the ribbon, and opened the box. He gasped and looked at her, and back the ring. He grabs the ring and slipping onto his left ring finger. “Oh Merlin, Y/n. I love it! But it looks expensive, how much was it?” He questions, suddenly curious since he knew she was just as poor as Weaslebee.

“I sold my necklace for it. I didn’t even know my necklace cost 140 galleons! I wanted to make our first Valentine’s Day perfect...” As she rambled on about the necklace and ring, Draco’s smile dropped, and Y/n noticed it. “What’s wrong, Dray? I know you liked the necklace but I did it for you.” Draco didn’t say anything, only to pull out a white rectangular box from the inner pocket of his jacket.

He hands it to her, and she opened it skeptically. Now she knew why he was so upset. To match her necklace, Draco brought her gold star dangling earrings and gold charm bracelet with the planets. Y/n didn’t know whether to be happy or upset, she loved her gift, but now she felt dumb for using her necklace to buy his ring. “Shit, Draco. I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.” She says, she couldn’t even look him in the eyes, just stared at the floor.

“Y/n, I understand you don’t have that much money, you don’t need to buy me expensive gifts for you to show your love to me. I already know you do, I would’ve been content with the sweets. I love the ring though, I was just really surprised.” He says and uses his hand to get her to look at him. Her eyes were watery, she was at the verge of tears. “I just wanted to make our Valentine’s day perfect. You spoil me so much, I just wanted to do it in return.”

He whispers a “It’s okay darling, come here.” And pulls her in for a hug. She returns it back, just wanting to feel his arms around her. “I was gonna gift you this,” She pulls back to pull out her wand and whispers, “Accio photograph.” In just a second or two, a framed photo landed in her hand. Draco grabbed it and look at it.

It was a photo of them two the first month they started dating, they made silly faces and laughed in the photo, Draco smiled at the memory. “Awe, darling, I love it!” He says, throwing his arms around her. She does the same and apologizes again. “Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll just buy it back, for you.” He whispers and pulls his head back a little to kiss Y/n. “I love you, happy Valentine’s Day darling.”

[phoenixplume117]

Aspik & Marinette

(If you  read my other works this does NOT fit in with that timeline)

2017

Ladybug turned to Rena Rouge she needed someone to deliver Sass to Luka but she couldn't do it right now.  She looked over at Nino-er Carapace, right now they were on the offensive, they didn't require his defensive power she ran to him.

"Carapace!  I need your help!"

Carapace turned to her and nodded while watching the Akumatized woman begin to run their way, along the river, "uh.. sure?"

Ladybug opened her yoyo and produced a box, "I need you to find--  Ugh, I hate telling you this.  You already know who Rena is…" she mentally argued if she could deliver it herself.

"How about instead of telling me who it goes to, you let me guess?" he offered?

Ladybug looked down the Seine at the quickly approaching Melusine that decided to dive under the water and gain it's mermaid tail, dragon wings, "Alright, it's the Miraculous of the snake."

"Um, Julika's older brother?" Carapace didn't bother to tell her that everyone already knew everyone else except who she and Chat Noir were.

Ladybug took a step back in surprise then recovered and pretended he was wrong, "Uh, I've met him, he sounds like a good match for a one time use, take it to him let the kwami, his name is Sass, explain how it works, now go!"

Carapace ran to the Couffain's boat and he was nearly there before he remembered, Luka broke his leg the day before.  He quickly thought then veered to his best friend's house, Adrien wasn't home, he would just be getting out of fencing, he ran to school.  Out of breath he hid in the shadows of the courtyard stairs and waited.  When Adrien walked out of the cloakroom doors he rushed him, picked him up and pulled him under the opposite stairs so no one would see them.

"Adrien Agreste?"

Adrien looked at the turtle superhero and knew he was needed, some place, IN BLACK but he was about to be offered something else.  Plagg was going to be pissed… again.  He nodded,  "Yes?"

Carapace looked around and finding no one he pulled the box out from under his shield, "This is the miraculous of the snake…"

Adrien did even hear the rest of what his sometimes partner was saying. He just looked at the box trying to figure out a way to say he did not want to do this.

Carapace opened the box with a grin and a flourish, "Well?" a heartbeat went by and his best friend didn't respond, not that he knew they were best friends but he thought for sure Adrien would be at least a little excited.  He'd been completely stoked when LB had given him Lil' Dude. "Uh, Du- er M. Agreste?"

Adrien looked like he was in pain or at the very least mildly constipated.

Sass spoke up, "Master Agreste, may I explain the way my miraculous works?"

Adrien looked at Sass, "um, can I not?  I'm kind of not supposed to put myself in danger."

Carapace looked surprised but Sass didn't, he remembered their time together. 

"Um, dude, I'm sure you can, but I'm begging you, LB needs our help Chat Noir is totally MIA and this is the first time she's ever asked me to do something so important. Please, don't make me let her down."

Adrien had to smile, Carapace was such a team player, how could he let his friend down, he reminded him so much of Nino sometimes.  On the other hand he really did not want to do this, after all history had shown him, the odds were not in their favor if he were Aspik.  He looked at Sass who also didn't seem thrilled, where was Luka?  His face lit up, Luka!  "Actually, I know who Viperi.." Adrien trailed off and his smile faded, he'd forgotten.

Carapace nodded, "Yeah, I guess, I was right, the guy who broke his leg yesterday?"

Adrien shrugged, "Ladybug said I had to keep it a secret so I'm not really sure how I should answer that."

Carapace grinned and held out the box again, "Adrien Agreste-"

Adrien pursed his lips then put his hand out, "Okay," he put the miraculous on and quickly called the Gorilla to tell him the team had extra drills and stashed his bag then transformed.

Carapace watched his efficiency and reminded himself to tell LB to give Adrien a Miraculous more often.  "Ready?"

Aspik nodded and ran after Carapace into battle.

With a little black blur tucked between him and his lyre giving constant negative feedback.

"You could have said no," Plagg said.

"I tried," Aspik whispered.

"Did you forget the last time?"

"No, I just need to figure out a way to, get hurt or something," he said.

"Did you say something?" Carapace said, turning toward the river.

"Yeah, what am I supposed to be fighting?"

"Oh, it's like a massive Melusine the size of a statue, it can switch between legs and fins.  And we haven't figured out what the akumatized object is."

"She needs her Chat Noir not Snekboi," Plagg said dryly, then to make sure Aspik understood he was being made fun of, "That's spelled S-N-E-K-B-O-I."

"Yeah, I figured," then louder he replied to Carapace, "Um, I'm going to meet you at the riverfront on the other side, see if I can get a lay of the area."

Carapace nodded, Adrien was smart, Viperion did that a lot, watched the entire battle area, to see what needed to be done, "Okay!  Thanks I appreciate it so much!" Carapace said, then ran ahead.

Aspik ran diagonally away from him, then found a recessed area and detransformed.  "Sorry Sass but-"

"He's mine!" Plagg interrupted, "Stop trying to take MY chosen."

Sass looked unimpressed, "First, I don't choose to be GIVEN although Master Adrien is very nice I much prefer Master Luka, Second, until now, I had no idea you were Chat Noir… My condolences having to work with… Him," Sass said looking at Plagg.

Plagg's chin dropped in shock, that anyone would think that he was anything less than amazing. After all, he was!

Adrien rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket for some blue colored cheese and popped it in Plagg's, still open mouth, "Snack time." he said.

"Yuck, that completely messes wi-" he grumbled with his mouth full.

"Aqua Plagg, Transform Me," Adrien said, looking both ways then ran for the water, tucking the Snake Miraculous's bracelet into his pocket.  Now Sass was hiding in his hair, something that occasionally Plagg would do.

"You know you don't have to pick on him," Chat Noir chastised Sass.

"He needs it, don't worry about him," Sass replied.

"So nice of you to join me!" a frustrated Ladybug was suddenly in front of him in the water.

Chat gave her a gallic shrug, "I came as soon as I could, and worse yet, I have to leave early, I know I've never done that before."

Ladybug looked ready to blow her top.

"Milady, I've told you my parents really worry about me well, I don't think the excuse I gave them was very good," Chat lied trying to come up with a way to show up as Aspik for at least a few minutes of the battle.  He didn't want Ladybug to think HE was a loser after all.

By this time they had finally caught up with the akumatized woman, "Woah! She's huge, are you sure she's not a sentimonster?"  And she was naked, Carapace hadn't said that.

Ladybug nodded, "Yes, she's been talking to Hawk Moth."

Chat nodded and shot forward and began climbing the Melusine's braid.

"Chat!  No!" Ladybug yelled, "Stupid cat," she muttered, then climbed up after him.

"Excuse me!" Chat Noir said from the Melusine's shoulder.

The Melusine stopped and a wave pulled Ladybug from her hair throwing her backward.

"Cat!" the Melusine yelled under the water.

Chat looked a little less certain of his plan at this point, "That's me," he said hurrying away, "so who are you?" 

The akumatized woman gestured to herself as if it were obvious, "Melusine, didn't you learn anything in history?!"

Ladybug swam up, "What happened?"

Melusine snapped her gaze to Ladybug, "Give me your miraculous and I'll tell you all about it."

Chat looked at the woman and realized she wasn't wearing anything he vaguely remembered the story but her hair was braided, he raced down her braid and sliced through the band with his nails hoping that was the object and ran off not waiting to find out if he was right.

Ladybug smiled, how could she have missed the clear elastic? The black butterfly floated toward her in the water trying to get to the surface but she swam after it.  When she broke free a hand was waiting to pull her out and she looked up, it was Aspik.  She'd told Nino to give Sass to Luka!  She'd deal with this later she only had seconds left from using her Lucky Charm before Chat had joined her.

She jumped out and purified the akuma and ran to detransform only to find she'd ran out of snacks for Tikki.

"It's okay Marinette, I'm sure Aspik can take care of the woman," Tikki said.

Marinette leaned around the bridge's side to see and Tikki was right, Aspik was talking to her and calming her.  Her heart melted, Adrien was so awesome, she would just watch for a second she thought.

"Marinette?  What are you doing?  You don't want to be caught."

"Okay I'm going," she said and began walking as if she'd been taking a stroll along the river suddenly she heard quick footsteps catch up to her.

"Hey, are you okay, were you hurt?"

Marinette  turned, "Me? No, why, wh-who are you?" she feigned ignorance.

Aspik introduced himself, "I'm Aspik, I'm, ah, just helping, I'm supposed to give my miraculous back but," he shrugged, "everyone left."

"Oh," Marinette smiled shyly.

Aspik grinned, this was kind of fun, he didn't get to see Marinette as often as he used to since they were in completely different classes.  It would be nice if LB would let her be Multimouse but he knew it wasn’t worth his time to even bother asking.

Marinette looked over her shoulder in confusion, “Um? Did something… Happen?”

Aspik looked at her with narrowed eyes then leaned back to check if maybe she had been hurt, “You didn’t know there was an akumatized giant?” 

Marinette felt her face get warmer and tried to calm herself, “Uh-uh?” She looked around, she had to get out of here so she could feed Tikki then get his miraculous back from him.  Aspik  was looking at her thoughtfully and she worried she was being too obvious.

Adrien worried, maybe Marinette had hearing problems, maybe that's why Ladybug wasn't giving her another chance, he sighed and looked up at her in time for her to throw her hands up and clip him in the chin.

"Actually I heard- OH!, Omigod!  I'msosorry!  Aaaaspik!!!!!" she wailed as she tried to correct herself from saying his real name.

Aspik smiled, this was the Marinette he knew and lov-uh…  liked.  Right, liked.  "It's okay, it was an accident you barely brushed me, what were you saying?"

Marinette wished there was a hole nearby for her to crawl into, "I heard something but just figured it was someone with their television too loud."

Aspik nodded then pointed across the street, surprised they were so close to her home already.

"Well, this is me, thanks for taking me home," Marinette smiled and waved as she hurried away from him.

Aspik nodded and waved with a silly grin.

"You can stop waving, she's not even looking at you," Plagg said from behind his shoulder.

Aspik dropped his hand and his silly grin and coughed as if it could make the embarrassing moment go away, "I hope she's okay."

Plagg rolled his eyes and went back to his hiding spot between Aspik and his lyre, "She's fine."

"She thought the fight was someone listening to their television."

"She's fine, let's get home so your pretty lady can get your miraculous.  Or should I say Luka's miraculous."

Aspik was walking toward school for his bag but detransformed in a crevice first.  

When he reached his bedroom he was surprised to find Ladybug sitting on his sofa watching his television.  

"Adrien!" She jumped up.

"M-Ladybug!" he said simultaneously.

"I-I'm sorry, I was just waiting and, I hope you don't mind," Ladybug said pointing to his television.

Adrien shook his head, "Not at all," he reached into his bag, "I didn't mean to keep this, but everyone just left."

Ladybug shook her head, her face turning pink, "I didn't think that, Chat Noir and I had to rush out, sorry, I should have said something or sent someone!  I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," she said biting her lower lip.

Adrien walked forward, the sofa between them holding the oval box to her.  "I'm not, I'm happy you felt comfortable here.  You should come over more often-er-I mean- ifyouwant," Adrien rushed to finish.

Ladybug gently plucked the box from his hand then took her yoyo and opened it depositing it inside to give her something to do as she recovered her sanity.  Was he inviting her over?  She nearly squealed in her mind. "Thank you, Adrien, I know how hard being Aspik is for you."

Adrien shook his head, "It, it was fine."

Ladybug put her hand on the back of the sofa and leaned forward and kissed his  cheek and whispered, "Thank you."

Adrien's eyes fluttered shut and when they opened she was gone.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23469514/chapters/57343678

@adrinetteapril

[ayearofpike]

Black Knight (Witch World, Vol. 2)

Simon Pulse, 2014 441 pages, 9 chapters + prologue and epilogue ISBN 978-1-4424-6734-7 LOC: PZ7.P626 Bl 2014 OCLC: 1065025018 Released December 2, 2104 (per B&N)

A month after her connection, Jessie Ralle starts dreaming about a young thief who mysteriously disappears in a flash of light. On the ninth night of the same lucid dream, she herself sees the flash, and wakes up next to the thief and four others in transport to a deserted jungle island. There are no ideas, no instructions, no obvious goals. There’s just a clue, a plaque mounted near their drop-off point that indicates that six groups just like theirs are here, but only one will make it out alive.

In other words: Remember that world-building we had in the first book, where it was implied that Jessie and her baby daughter were going to be integral components to the new and evolving leadership among the witch council? Remember the difficulty and heartbreak of Jimmy only being alive in one half of her life? Remember the potential new bonds of realizing her father was active in her upbringing, and could be again in both worlds? Well, fuck all that — let’s have a Hunger Games. 

OK, technically this is more like Battle Royale, and Pike actually makes a reference to it as the young adults acclimate to their surroundings. But it is undeniable the influence that Suzanne Collins had on YA fiction, and certainly YA sci-fi/fantasy/analogues. In the wake of Katniss Everdeen, the market felt like it made a hard shift from doomed supernatural romances to dystopian future societies. It would be irresponsible of Pike to not try to cash in on that.

But this book ... is lacking in this regard. Collins’ success was not just that she made us care about Katniss, but that we cared about the bigger problem endemic to her (and all the other contestants’) situation. And Pike doesn’t give us enough to care about here. We don’t know what the stakes are, beyond survival. We don’t know who these people are, where they come from, or what they have to live for. We don’t even know where they are or why. I’m assuming there was another book or two planned for this series that would eventually get us to the meanings and revelations of this battle and why they were chosen to fight it and what ultimately was to come out of it. But this shit was so unsatisfying and we care so little about anyone or anything here that I can’t imagine we’ll ever see resolution.

(Like, does Pike even care? He claimed when the first one came out that it was going to be his “finest work,” and that the series could go “over ten books.” But it’s been almost five years and we haven’t seen another one of these. He didn’t mention his newer works at ALL in that recent Electric Lit interview. So who knows?)

The biggest problem is that the characters and setting we already know makes such a drastic shift to accommodate this story. And, like, I get it. The model of the industry, especially when this book came out, almost requires that you have established characters and an ongoing storyline before you ever publish anything. But it doesn’t feel connected to what’s come before. At all. It’s a new place we’ve never seen, everyone in the action except Jessie is a new character (and remember there are thirty-five of them), and there is almost zero resolution or explanation for what’s happening. There’s no reason this couldn’t have been literally anybody. Like, this could just as easily have been a Sita book, and maybe it would have actually made more sense, except that there’s no other vampires left. It probably shouldn’t have been a book about Jessie, who has a uniquely important position in witch world in light of the high-profile deaths she’s overseen and her responsibility to the Special. None of what happens in this story fits with anything that’s led up to it, and we are left a) wondering why the hell we’re reading this and b) ultimately unsatisfied.

I don’t even necessarily feel like there’s much to summarize, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because I’m dedicated.

We start with a chapter about the thief — Marc — whose MO is to hide in the trunk of a fancy car he’s valet-parked, wait for the owner to take him home, and then make off with the jewelry she (usually it’s a she) was wearing after she falls asleep. This heist is going to be his last job, because he doesn’t want to risk someone putting together a pattern that these high-profile thefts all came in the wake of the victims having been at his theater. So he steals the lady’s necklace and then her car to safely get out of Dodge, but when he stops to take a leak the light appears.

This is the dream Jessie has for over a week. The rest of the story is told from her immediate perspective, in first-person present tense just like a good little dystopian. She’s wondering about the dream, but she’s more concerned about who she just saw in the mall: the Highlander and President Coroner, just sitting there eating ice cream like they didn’t both get fatal holes in their chests last month. And yes, this is in witch world, where they died. She tails them and discovers they’re staying with (of course) the Alchemist, who tells Jessie there’s a reason for this and she needs to be prepared for ... something big, he isn’t clear on it. The Council has more info, maybe: the bad witches need to replace their leadership, and Jessie is first in line because she facilitated the killing. But what about the fact that she just saw President Coroner? The Council has an answer to that as well: one of the witch genes allows its bearer to control time, and so probably the Alchemist has that and has brought her and the Highlander forward from the past for some reason.

So Jessie goes home and has the dream again, only this time when the light appears she feels as though she’s yanked from her bed. She wakes up in the real world (and yes, I have expressed my hate for these names, but I’m sticking with them for consistency’s sake) in some kind of a shipping container with five other dudes, all of them wearing identical green outfits and matching unbreakable bracelets. And yes, one of them is Marc. The others are a precocious genius who’s going to MIT at 16, a quiet and scared Korean girl, an Israeli military fighter, and a Sudanese farmer who exudes strength and just seems to accept the situation. All of them were snatched at about the same time, globally and not locally — morning for the Americans, evening for Africa and Israel, middle of the night in Korea. But as far as Jessie can tell, she’s the only witch. So what is this about? 

They don’t get very far before the next chapter, where Jessie wakes up in witch world and realizes she’s in some deep shit. She spends all day trying to find Marc, but like ... if he’s not connected, how is this going to help? She ends up not doing anything about it, and awakens again in the real world on some kind of volcanic jungle island. They find the aforementioned plaque and immediately realize that they’re going to need to work together and find a place to defend. They also need food, and so Jessie has to start showing her hand when she catches a bunch of fish just by grabbing them out of the water. They find a cave to hide out in, but they also see some fast-moving people in gray outfits, presumably another set of contestants.

The Israeli wants to hunt them down — kill before we get killed, she says — and so everyone except the brain and the Korean go tracking. What they find is a grotesque death scene: five bodies in various states of dismemberment. It’s not the gray people there, though: it’s a giant Swede who has a deal for Jessie. He wants her to kill her humans as a show of faith, and he’ll do the same, and then they can team up against the other witches. Because of course he’s gotten all the information already, having made better use of his interim day in witch world than stalking some boy. Jessie refuses, and they fight, only the Swede has a healing factor that works almost immediately. Luckily some of Jessie’s time-controlling gene kicks in and she manages to run away, but her teammates aren’t so lucky. Another witch shows up and throws motherfucking LAVA at them, killing the Israeli and spearing the Sudanese to a tree.

So her next day in witch world needs to be more productive than the last one. Jessie calls up the Council, who is all pissed off that she didn’t come to them already. To survive, they say, she’s gonna have to go back to the Alchemist, because obviously this is what he wanted to prepare her for. So she shows up and talks to the Highlander, who starts working with her on fighting. Specifically, he forcibly activates her telekinesis power by throwing her off a cliff. So after this she’s gonna want to unwind with her family and enjoy their time together, right? Nope — she goes straight to Marc’s house and tells him the world’s least believable story, ending in the prospect that she might want to try to kill him so his witch powers activate in the other world. But haven’t we already said that killing someone in witch world means they’re totally dead? Technicalities. So she gets home and, oh shit, Jimmy’s mad that she went on a date with some random dude without talking to him at all about her troubles! What a silly boy!

When they wake up in the real world again, the Sudanese warrior is totally healed. Apparently the Korean girl has a super-powered healing factor even though she’s not a witch, tied somehow to the death of her twin sister, who presumably channels the power through her. They’ve also been offered a truce by a couple of other witches, not the ones who tried to kill them last night. So they partner up, but the Korean girl’s healing factor is instantly undone when she tries to fix one of the other dude’s teammates but they die randomly on the walk. (Probably actually secretly strangled by the lava-thrower, who Jessie learned yesterday can also make herself invisible.) They talk about the bracelets, which have some kind of weird stone inside, and one of the other witches says he’s found the source: a giant wall that blocks off half of the island they’re on, which you can only see if you climb to the top of the volcano.

As they’re walking, the gray team attacks ... sort of. These people are short and pale, almost albinos, but they move faster than any human can and Jessie knows they have some kind of group mind that allows them to work together. They surround the group and lure them into a battle with the giant Swede, and while they’re fighting him the invisible lava thrower murders all the humans except five: Marc (who does take a poisoned knife to the back), brain boy, Korean healer, and two dudes on a new witch’s team. Jessie manages to lop off her hand and collect her bracelet before she totally vanishes and gets away. Oh, and the other witch has captured the leader of the albinos, and is holding her hostage to attempt to lure in the rest of them. She doesn’t talk, but her telepathy is unsettling at best.

Jimmy shakes her awake in witch world and tells her to do whatever she has to in order to survive. If that means blowing another dude, whatever. So Jessie calls up the Council, which gives her a little more info on the two witches she’s teamed up with. Watch out for the second one, they say (not the one who’s tied up an albino), because he might have choked his last boyfriend to death and successfully covered it up. She goes back to the Alchemist’s house, where President Coroner pins her down about why their present selves can’t help Jessie train. So she has to limit just what she says about their deaths, and in turn they limit telling her that they traveled to Jessie’s funeral in the near future. 

Fuck this training, then, right? Jessie figures the only thing to do is help Marc live, and to do that she’ll have to activate his witch genes. But to convince him to die she’s probably gonna have to give up the booty ... only she can’t do it, she’s too busy thinking of Jimmy for a change in this novel. He wants to go through with it anyway (the death, I mean) but she has second thoughts and isn’t ready to put him through it. So they fall asleep next to each other and wake up in a cave on the side of the volcano, where the other two witches are fighting. It seems the first dude had his teammates on watch, but they mysteriously choked to death in the night while the second dude was backing them up. Huh. But they have to keep moving, climbing to the place where the second dude said he saw the wall, for ... like, reasons. 

They find another cave near the top of the volcano, and inside there are drawings showing a woman who looks suspiciously like the Council president touching a bracelet to a giant wall. They have to learn more, but the second witch isn’t eager to reapproach the wall. Brain Boy wants to go, so they agree that Chokey Witch can watch Healing Girl and Slowly Dying Marc while the rest of them investigate. Brain Boy touches the wall and freezes, and even though Jessie knocks him away immediately he senses that a lot more time passed, and he’s seen things that happened in witch world but not the real world. So Jessie wants to try, and when she touches it she’s suddenly playing red queen with the dead gambler from the first book, who reminds her that there’s more to the game than just the next card in her own hand. What? I don’t know.

She comes to on the ground with a lot of screaming going on. The Swede is back, so she and the first witch have to fight him. But he forgets Jessie’s plan and attacks weird, getting stabbed in the gut by one of the flying spears Jessie is controlling with her new telekinesis. Oh, and here’s Invisible Lava Thrower too, about to kill Brain Boy! He acknowledges that there’s nothing he can do and succumbs so Jessie has enough time to grab the Swede’s head and crank it around 360 degrees. Lava Girl vanishes, and Jessie picks up our other witch and carries him back to the cave, which is suddenly being guarded by all six albino dwarves. The other witch says that in this proximity, killing the leader will cause all of them to die because of the group mind, so Jessie sneaks up and lops off  her head, and then goes inside the cave by herself.

Sure enough, there’s Lava Girl, holding Chokey at machete-point. Marc is mostly submerged in a freezing stream, and Healing Girl is just, like, there. Chokey fights free, but of course Lava Girl hits him with ... you know, because they’re INSIDE A FUCKING VOLCANO. Only Jessie has realized something: these bracelets with the rock inside that matches the wall control their physical connection to the island. Lava Girl looks sick, pale, and weak since she’s lost hers, and when Jessie casually chucks it into the lava she drops dead.

And now Healing Girl comes to. She wants to try to help revive Marc before it’s too late, and wants to study the poisoned knife. Only she then tries to stab Jessie with it. Turns out that when she was alone with the first witch, the one hiding outside with a spear through his guts, he used his strongest power: mental suggestion. He turned Healing Girl into a slave, designed to kill those who weren’t expecting it. Jessie uses all her mental powers to break the hold, upon which Healing Girl ... jumps right into the motherfucking lava herself. 

I don’t know, I guess because we’re getting close to the end.

So Jessie disguises herself as Healing Girl and goes to confront the last witch standing besides herself. Who, surprise, does NOT have a spear through his guts. Apparently he can disguise himself too, in addition to the hypnosis. So he tells her to kill herself with the knife, but she stabs him in the lungs just before dropping her disguise, and then ... slits her wrists.

So Marc can live.

Because only one can survive, and of course it should be some dude we just met rather than the main character of the LAST TWO BOOKS. THE ENTIRE SERIES THUS FAR.

But as Jessie’s soul is floating away, she sees something. She sees herself, only older. Even though I thought once you were connected you stopped aging. And she tells herself that it’s not over, and they can go wherever they want to go ... or whenever, rather.

The epilogue takes place at Jessie’s memorial service (not actually a funeral, because there is no body, Jessie’s just been missing for a month but because Marc is now connected they think they know what happened) where Jimmy approaches Marc and they talk about what they know. In particular, Jimmy asks Marc to watch after his real-world son, who oh yeah there was an unfollowed thread where they got a DNA report that said he wasn’t actually Jimmy’s kid but it was also prepared by Jessie’s still-mostly-absentee father who has an agenda in ascending the ranks of the Council so its authenticity is questionable. But then they talk about Jessie and ... neither one thinks she’s actually dead.

And that.

Is the end of Black Knight.

I can sort of pick out the seeds that Pike is sowing in this story. I can start to sense the coming trails and paths the characters might walk in the supposedly potential ten-book series about witches. But like. You just essentially killed your MAIN CHARACTER. Your NARRATOR. And we don’t actually care about this jewel thief guy, who by all appearances is a BAD PERSON. But you went ahead and put him in the forefront. 

Is it any wonder this series fizzled out? Part of why I (and maybe a lot of us) got tired of dystopian fiction is that so many authors felt the need to keep raining shit on their protagonists. And yeah, this is another Hunger Games thing, but there’s a reason there — the dictatorial leadership fighting to keep rebellion down. To be perfectly honest, even though I see that reason, I didn’t like it there either. At some point, I wanted Collins to HELP Katniss rather than repeatedly jamming a boot in her face. We want to trust our authors to care about the protagonist the way we’re supposed to care. So when writers keep making their characters climb uphill, for no reason other than to try to get readers to buy the next one and see how they get over the obstacles, it becomes stale. If they obviously don’t care, why should we?

[maknaes-and-hyungs]

Bangtan And Onesies

Note: I didn’t know what to name this post, because it deals with multiple things that have to do with onesies. This is the first part in a series of six scenario posts that I plan to do for each group about onesies. I hope you enjoyed this and that you look forward to the upcoming parts!~Rin

Min Yoongi

Ever since your younger sibling had gotten a tiger onesie complete with a face, ears, and a tail you had been longing for one. Sure you might not have been a child, but who said you had to be one to enjoy cute and adorable things. Still you had yet been able to find a onesie that fit your taste and your budget. With this in mind you had given up your search long ago, settling on wishing for one.

The last time you remember talking about it you had been half asleep and mumbled it to Yoongi as you cuddled further into his chest. You had thought he didn’t even pay attention to the stupid comment made by a sleep riddled mind. Two months later you were wronged when you found a plain white clothes box sitting in the middle of your bed. Assuming it was a present from your boyfriend you opened the box to find a Stitch Onesie. Smiling ear to ear you picked up your phone and called Yoongi.

Y/N: “I didn’t think you even remembered I wanted one Yoongs.”

Yoongi: “I knew before you even said it Y/N. How could I not when you sit in that living room of yours looking at them for hours.”

Y/N: “Thank you so much! I love it!”

Yoongi: “And I love you Y/N. You better be wearing that and ready for cuddling when I get back.”

Kim Seokjin

You were used to your washing machine breaking down and leaking water all across your wood floors. What you weren’t used to was pulling your clothes out to find that one or two items had sustained tears. It crossed your mind to figure out the issue before something you cared about got ruined, but you dismissed it. It rarely ever happened and it wasn’t like you cared much about most of you clothes. The chances of it getting something important were low so you decided to risk it.

Soon you would be cursing yourself ,and wishing you had called Seokjin to help you out with your problem, when you found your Red Panda onesies had been claimed as a victim. Calling Seokjin nearing the edge of tears you explained what had happened. Quickly he calmed you down and said he would be over as fast as he could knowing how much that onesie had meant to you. An hour later you opened your front door to Seokjin standing there holding something behind his back.

Seokjin: “Y/N I know how much you loved that onesie so I have come prepared to help you.”

Y/N: “How?”

Seokjin: *Pulls a new onesie from behind his back*

Y/N: “Kim Seokjin you are the best person in this world.”

Jeon Jungkook

Dating an Idol from such a popular group like Jeon Jungkook’s was not the easiest thing in the world. Bangtan’s popularity meant frequent touring that left you sitting alone in your apartment trying to find ways to comfort your lonely heart. This usually meant curling up on the sofa, suffocating under a mountain of blankets, and watching yours and Jungkook's favorite movies. Even with all of this you couldn’t help the feeling that gripped your heart when the moon rose and you fell into an empty bed.

Unbeknownst you Jungkook had been trying to find you something that would remind you of him. Something you could use to forget that he was gone even if it was only when you went to sleep. After getting the opinions of his hyungs he found the perfect gift while on tour and had it sent to you as fast as he could. A week and a half after he left was when you received the gift. It was a white bunny onesies that had a ‘my name is sticker’ reading Jungkook on it. Tears welled up in you eyes at your boyfriend's consideration and you had to call him right away.

Y/N: “Kookie this is perfect.”

Jungkook: “Really? Hoseok hyung said you would want something bunny themed so I got you that. I thought if you fell asleep in that you would dream of me.”

Y/N: “I dream of you regardless.”

Kim Namjoon

Already having matching bracelets and hats Namjoon thought that this was the most natural next step. Unlike with the other couples items you had picked together he decided to keep this one a secret. He wanted to get you both onesies that complimented each other. What would be better than to snuggle up in matching pajamas as you both watched disney movies?

After a month of searching in secret Namjoon had finally found the perfect pair. One of your favorite movies was Monsters Inc. so when he saw the mike wazowski and sully onesies he didn’t even bother price checking before he bought them. You received your onesie as you went to your room to get changed for your movie night. Namjoon insisted you wear what was in the box and upon seeing it you excitedly chucked it before leaping on to Namjoon who was already dressed and lying on the couch.

Y/N: “I love you. I love you. I love you Kim Namjoon.”

Namjoon: “So you want to watch Monsters Inc. or something else?”

Y/N: “What do you think?”

Jung Hoseok

A lazy saturday spent laying in bed and starting up a drama you had heard someone swear by. Those were your plans before Hoseok came pounding at your door and screaming about finding the best thing ever. It took everything you had not to put in your headphones and pretend to be sleeping. As much as you loved Hoseok you were sure his constant energy was the cause of him sapping all of yours.

Groaning you pushed all of your blankets off and went to open your front door. In doing so you were greeted by your boyfriend dressed in a green dragon onesie with a purple one draped over his shoulder. All signs of grumpiness faded away as Hoseok thrust the other onesie at you with the biggest grin you had ever seen.

Hoseok: “Y/N it has a tail and you have to wear it with me.”

Y/N: “You’re lucky you're cute and I like you.”

Kim Taehyung

You weren’t one to like wearing cute things and instead tended toward black clothing.You knew Taehyung wanted to get you to try something cute out, but even with his boxy smile you wouldn’t break. You liked black and plain clothing and you were fine with that.

Taehyung refused to take no as an answer and slowly started switching out your dark pajamas for a variety of different onesies. You didn’t notice until half your pajamas were gone and Taehyung not so subtly started wearing onesies of his own around you. When confronted he acted clueless and wouldn’t give you back any of your clothes. When he had successfully switched everything in your closet you conceded and threw on a pastel blue panda onesie. Even after he had returned your things you decided the onesies weren’t the worst thing in the world.

Taehyung: “I just wanted to see you in something cute. You don’t have to keep wearing them.”

Y/N: “But their soft and you always say I look cute in them.”

Taehyung: “Aw does my Y/N like it when I compliment her!”

Park Jimin

Park Jimin was the definition of cute with his sweet smiles and infectious giggles. That’s why it was a surprise to you when he told you he didn’t own a single onesie. You weren’t a particularly cute person and you owned multiple. Yoongi wasn’t the softest person either, but you knew for a fact he had one stashed away. {Whether or not he would fess up to that fact was another matter.} Now that you knew this fact you wouldn’t stand idly by and let it stay a fact.

Telling Jimin this you just got a small smile and an okay before he left in the morning to go to practice. He expected to return to a onesie sitting on the bed or for one to be presented to him. He did not expect to find you walking in close to midnight weighed down by dozens of bags all containing onesies.

Jimin: “Oh my god jagiya what is all of this?”

Y/N: “You can’t just have any onesie! It has to be the cutest one ever. Now come try these all on so I can judge the cuteness factor.”

Jimin: “With me in them I bet they will all be ten.”

Y/N: “That is for me to judge now get going.”