#Online Premarital Counseling Class

[drdarienzo]

How to Pinpoint a Narcissist

Take our $14.97 premarital course and save money on your Florida license and avoid the three day wait! We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading for tips and Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips on How to Pinpoint a Narcissist: How can a narcissist be…

[toomanysurveys9]

Do you take lessons for anything? No. Although I’m in grad school for marriage and family therapy. So that’s kind of like lessons. Lol.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? Not really, no.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I usually use natural colors.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? It has a curtain.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? I have so many pets, and Phe and Cocoa do occasionally get jealous.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? Not a room, exactly, but I hate our basement.

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Just the one I just answered here.

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Jalapeno powder stuff they have at our local movie theater. It’s good with the butter.

Are you lonely? I guess you could say that.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? I haven’t really read any magazines in a long time.

Do you like pineapple? I do. I used to not like it when I was a kid, but I do now.

Have you ever seen fireflies? I have!

Have you ever trespassed? Not that I can remember.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? I mean, sometimes. Sometimes I will just say I’m leaving, and leave it at that.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I’m doing online classes. It’s mostly reading and writing papers.

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? I used to. But it’s kind of stressful these days. Although I do want to go soon for a smoothie. There’s a store in one about an hour away that has the best.

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? No.

Would you ever see a therapist? I have before, and I would again if I needed to.

Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

Are you afraid of the dark? Not really.

Are you a jealous person? Not normally, but I can be if I think I have reason.

When is your birthday? September 1.

What are you listening to right now? The kiddos talking about ice cream.

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Yeah. My mom caught us having sex once when we were 18.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? Not really.

What is the most important thing to you? My kids.

Do you like whipped cream? Yeah, usually.

Are you close to your mother? Yes.

Are you close to your father? Yes, but it’s not quite the same as with my mom.

Do you walk around bare foot when you’re at home? Or do you wear socks? I am usually barefoot.

Do you like chocolate popsicles? I haven’t had them in a long time, so I couldn’t really say.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? I guess Big Ben because that’s a place I really want to visit.

Have you ever written a poem? A long, long time ago. They weren’t that great.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser? NO. NO. NO. I’m too chicken.

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? Pulled pork sandwiches.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? A longer vacation to TN than what we are doing during memorial day weekend.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom? I have no idea.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? I didn’t have to, but I took my statistics class in undergrad during summer.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Yeah. Since getting pregnant, I’m afraid of being told I lost the baby.

Have you ever been to the rainforest? I wish, but no.

Have you ever created a website? Nope.

Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. I think it would be fun but challenging.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I don’t think so.

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Yeah.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Runny nose. And it can be more painful.

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? I hate being nauseous, and I hate throwing up.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? Eh. Kind of I guess. I never should have dated him.

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? I’ve never really tried, so no..

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Probably Stephanie these days.

Would you consider yourself to be emo? I guess. 

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I don’t really listen to metal.

What is your current desktop picture? Nothing. It was my kids and then my computer did something funky and I just never fixed it.

Thick or thin blanket? Depends, but usually thicker.

Who are your favorite bands?  That’s kind of hard to answer. I don’t really know.

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? It varies from highlighter, circling, or putting a line through it.

Have you ever sewn something? I don’t think so.

What did you eat for dinner last night? Turkey sandwich.

Ever been grounded? Story of my life growing up.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) It’s been several months, at least.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? Yeah.

Have you ever had a black eye? I have.

Have you ever eaten a bug? I have not ever chosen to eat one.

Do you like pranking people? Nope.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school? I did in high school.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Not really. We celebrate Wyatt’s birthday. My little St. Patrick’s Day baby. :)

Do you use Skype? No. I use zoom when I have meetings with professors.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? Nope.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? He never was.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I honestly don’t know. Jacob isn’t exactly the romantic type.

Have you ever cheated on a test? Nope.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? Nope. Or... not really. We did premarital counseling with the pastor that officiated our wedding, but I don’t know that I would count that.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? A lot. Considering I am part-time and said a maximum of 3 full days a week. Plus she has me on one of the most aggressive kids, so that’s great. I emailed her over the weekend letting her know I was done working with him, so we will see how that conversation goes tomorrow and whether I will have a job still.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? YES. I have always loved to read.

When was the last time you were scared? Yesterday while watching Jacob in the night of destruction events.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? I don’t really know.

Can you speak binary? Nope.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? I would prefer neither. Lol.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? Nope.

When was the last time you saw hail? A year or two ago. We are getting a new roof thanks to insurance because of it.

What is on your mind right this second: That I kind of want ice cream.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Yeah.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? Last week.

Do you ever try free samples at the store? Yeah.

Do you like boys with long hair? I don’t really have a preference with hair length.

Do you like root beer? Yeah.

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? I don’t know.

Do you have faith in yourself? LOL. No.

[brentjosph7-blog]

Trusted, Beneficial Counseling in Clermont

Finding a Clermont therapist can be tricky, but there are a few things you can do to ensure you'll find a good one. While most insurance policies don't cover therapy with a clinical psychologist, some may. With new technology making it easier to find and connect with therapists, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a therapist near you. The information below will help you choose the best option for you.

Their training and experience have given them a unique perspective on the issues that affect each individual. They also specialize in various mental illnesses and situations, such as anxiety, and depression. They are also familiar with issues related to attachment, testing, and childhood. The goal of a therapist's services is to meet the needs of their patients.

To find a qualified therapist, start by asking friends and family for recommendations. Your religious leader may know of someone in the area who can help you with your problem. You can also try asking your doctor for a list of recommended counselors. Or you can look up therapists through online databases. Even your insurance company may have a list of recommended counselors. Ultimately, you'll want to find a counselor or therapist who will understand your situation and make it easier to access the services that you need. Brent Joseph Biblical Counseling marriage counseling clermont fl

Brent Joseph Biblical Counseling has extensive experience with domestic violence, premarital issues, blended families, and substance abuse, among other things. Additionally, they specialize in trauma, including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. Among her specialties, they help couples find their way back to the joys of parenthood. In addition to her counseling practice, they offer classes on marriage enhancement and anger management. If you're interested in hiring a therapist, here's how.

Brent Joseph Biblical Counseling may use several different approaches to help you overcome your issues. While talk therapists focus on listening to your concerns, behavioral therapists use various techniques to help you overcome negative emotions and thoughts. Some counselors use the principles of psychoanalysis to help their clients deal with trauma, addictions, or problems. They will help you develop coping mechanisms and model-related situations. However, there is no single approach to therapy. However, your counselor can help you find the right approach to your unique situation.

Contact us:

Brent Joseph Biblical Counseling Address: 1655 E Hwy 50 Suite 302L, Clermont, FL 34711 Phone: (352) 600-0209 Email: admin@brentmjoseph.com

https://goo.gl/maps/5DmskaPnKFvwmc877

[loveshiddenpolicy98]

Couples Relationship Counseling in Palm Beach, FL: Therapy That Works

If you are looking for couples counseling in Beach, FL, then you have come to the right place! Our therapists can help you with any relationship issues or problems that you may be facing. We offer individual therapy sessions, couple's counseling, family counseling, premarital counseling, and more.

Our team at Relationship Counseling in Palm Beach will work with you to find an affordable health insurance plan that covers mental health treatment. Your coverage may cover visits with licensed counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc.

In addition to our services, we also offer free resources to help you learn more about relationships and healthy communication. These include articles, videos, books, and other materials that can help you improve your relationship skills.

We offer a variety of services including: individual counseling, couple counseling, family counseling, parenting classes, life coaching, business consulting, executive coaching, group therapy, workshops, seminars, retreats, and trainings. Our goal is to help our clients move forward in their lives by providing practical tools and strategies to improve relationships, increase self-awareness, enhance communication skills, and develop new habits and behaviors.

Furthermore, if you live in Florida, you can take advantage of our free online portal that allows you to schedule appointments without having to make an initial phone call. This service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Online marriage & relationship counseling, couples therapy, relationship coaching, family therapy or coaching to support children sessions are less heart-felt than face to face sessions. Our 30+ years of experience shows that face to face sessions bring a deeper dimension to the work being done. We can generate deeper interventional solutions for your relationship, family or parent-child relationship.

What can face-to-face marital counseling, couples therapy, relationship coaching, family therapy or coaching to support children at Hippocrates in West Palm Beach, or at our Palm Beach appointment office, help your loving relationship, family or parent-child relationship?

Moreover, we provide telephone counseling, email counseling, text messaging counseling, and video conferencing counseling. If you need to speak with us via one of these methods, please contact us and we will do our best to accommodate your needs.

In summary, our team at Hippocrates offers a wide range of services including individual counseling, couple's counseling, family counseling, parenting classes, life coaching, business consulting, executive coaching, group therapy, workshops, seminars, retreats, and trainings. We want to help you move forward in your life by providing practical tools and strategies to improve relationships, increase self-awareness, enhance communication skills, and develop new habits and behaviors.

[positivepsychologyinterventions]

How to Spring Clean All Areas of Your Life

Come springtime, many of us start refreshing our surroundings, yearning for brighter, tidier spaces. But spring cleaning doesn’t only include decluttering and deep cleaning our homes. We can spring clean all areas of our lives to create greater meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. Here’s how.

Spring Cleaning Your Career

What does spring cleaning your career look like? It’s reflecting on “what is truly fulfilling and helping you achieve your bigger goals, and what [you’re] doing out of fear, habit, [or] confusion,” said Aurora Meneghello, founder of Repurpose Your Purpose, a program for individuals who want to change careers.

As such, Meneghello suggested these tips:

Apply the 80/20 rule. Consider what 20 percent of your work is giving you 80 percent of your results. Keep the 20 percent, and consider whether you can drop the rest.

Re-evaluate your current projects. List the projects you’d like to say goodbye to, and for each one, ask yourself: “What would I gain by closing or leaving this project?” We tend to evaluate our work based on a single factor: money, Meneghello said. “But what about having more time? More peace of mind? The opportunity to take on a different project we are more excited about?”

Re-evaluate your current position. Sometimes, you need a more drastic change, such as a new job or even a new line of work. To figure this out, carve out time during the weekend to simply enjoy yourself: Sleep in, take a walk, take a mini road trip, or spend time with loved ones. “Tune into your deepest self, spend some time there, within your heart. And at the end of the [weekend], ask yourself whether you would miss your job or business if you left.”

Meneghello noted that “spring cleaning your career doesn’t have to be a rash, anxiety-provoking process,” and can take time. 

You also can spring clean your workspace: Declutter your cubicle or office. Trash or shred paperwork you don’t need. Return the piles on your desk to their proper homes (and maybe create those proper homes).

You can evaluate your planner/calendar system, along with any other systems you use for work: Are they easy and enjoyable to use? Are they helping you accomplish what you want to accomplish?

And, lastly, you can update your website, resume or curriculum vita, online profiles, and anything else you use for work.

Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

“When you are talking about spring cleaning your relationships, it is about taking a step back and looking at [each one] from a bird’s eye view,” said Jennine Estes, LMFT, a certified emotionally focused psychotherapist who works primarily with couples at her group practice in San Diego.

Estes shared these recommendations:

Reflect on what you’d like to keep and change. List the habits and communication styles that you like and dislike, and decide which ones to keep and toss, Estes said. For instance, maybe you realize that you don’t like watching TV with your partner every night, and would rather connect face-to-face. Maybe you realize that you’d like to work on being assertive—instead of passive-aggressive—with your friends when they hurt your feelings.

Check out relationship resources. Maybe you’d like to attend a couples retreat or workshop to strengthen your connection. Maybe you’d like to read books on growing your relationship. (Estes regularly recommends Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight to couples.) Maybe you’d like to attend couples therapy or premarital counseling.

Minimize time with unsafe people. Think about the people in your life, and who you feel safe to be yourself with. Then spend less time with the people you don’t feel safe with (even if they’re family). For instance, instead of calling your mom every day and listening to complaints and negativity, call her once a week, Estes said. 

Find what works best for you. Do you feel good about how much time you’re spending with your partner, your family and friends, your kids—and yourself? While you won’t be able to reach a perfect balance, you can reflect on a good-enough split, and make small changes. Maybe you’d like a weekly lunch date with your best friend, and a few nights out with your husband. Maybe you need a few hours to yourself every week.

Tamsin Astor, PhD, a coach and author of the book Force of Habit: Unleash Your Power by Developing Great Habits, stressed the importance of having meaningful conversations with your most important people. You might talk about how to support each other, what you want your future to look like, and how you can help each other in creating that future, she said. You also might discuss tougher topics that you’ve been avoiding, such as a recent conflict.

Astor suggested this active listening technique: Set a timer for 15 to 20 minutes, which is when just one of you speaks, and the other person listens, only nodding or smiling. This is how we “hold space” for each other.

Spring Cleaning the Self

“Spring cleaning one’s self is about decluttering the things that no longer serve you so you can make space for [joy],” said Christina Cruz, PsyD, an online life coach who specializes in perfectionism, people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, lack of self-confidence and self-compassion, and feelings of overwhelm.

Thank your old habits. Similar to Marie Kondo’s tip of giving sincere thanks to objects we’re giving away, psychologist Lauren Appio, Ph.D, suggested acknowledging the coping strategies you’ve used thus far—even if they’re no longer useful. “For example, maybe you developed perfectionistic beliefs and behaviors to cope with situations that felt out of control, or to obtain approval whenever you could.”

In other words, instead of criticizing ourselves for not coping well, we can practice self-compassion. We can acknowledge that we were doing the best we could at the time, and those strategies got us to here.

Adopt a new coping strategy. After saying goodbye to an old habit, consider trying out a new stress management, self-soothing, or communication technique, said Appio, who specializes in working with individuals in New York City who are caregivers and people pleasers and struggle with codependency.

You might even use spring as an inspiration. For instance, you could meditate on your porch most mornings, visit the botanical gardens, start swimming, or take an outdoor painting class.

Honestly check in with yourself. Be honest about your feelings, needs, preferences, and limits, Appio said. For instance, she said, you might ask yourself: “If I wasn’t afraid of judging myself or being judged, how would I feel about this?” or, “If I wasn’t worried that I would hurt or disappoint others, what would be my preference here? What would my limit be?” 

This doesn’t mean ignoring others; it means gaining a clearer understanding of your own needs before considering other factors. In other words, start with yourself.

Toss out a limiting belief. Replace it with a new belief, look for the evidence to support that new belief, and then practice saying it over and over, Astor said. She shared this example: You trade out the belief “I am unlovable” for “I am lovable.” Some of your evidence includes your parents and best friend regularly saying they love you, and your dog always being excited to see you and being sad when you leave.

Address avoidance. Cruz noted that avoidance can add to our mental clutter—whether it’s avoiding a task or avoiding an emotion. First, identify the things you do to avoid a stressful task or emotion. For instance, one of Cruz’s clients avoided her anger by listening to music, watching TV, and exercising—which only created more distress in her life. Cruz helped her to sit with her anger by meditating.

If you’ve been avoiding an emotion, Cruz suggested this practice: Take five deep breaths, and focus on your body. Visualize your breath running through your body. Focus on the emotion, and its location (e.g., your belly, heart, chest). Describe the emotion, and visualize it “as a wave that ebbs and flows.” Gently notice any desire to avoid it. Finish up by taking five more breaths.

If you’ve been avoiding a task, Appio recommended breaking it down into manageable, even tiny, actionable steps. You can set a timer, or use different techniques to spark your start (e.g., Pomodoro technique of working for 25 minutes and then taking a break).

Clear your mind. To help keep her home clean, Cruz spends about 10 to 15 minutes tidying up at night. We can do the same by tidying up our minds. For instance, she said, if you were particularly self-critical today, replace negative thoughts with kinder ones by imagining that you’re talking to someone you love. You might say: “I may have made a mistake today but I am still a good person,” or “I accept who I am.”

Cruz also recommended asking ourselves these questions: “What no longer serves me? What can I let go of today that would serve my higher good? What was not meant for me to keep?”

After all, that’s what spring cleaning is all about: relinquishing what’s not working, and creating a clear, refreshing canvas.

from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2VtI0zO via IFTTT

[psychotherapyconsultants]

How to Spring Clean All Areas of Your Life

Come springtime, many of us start refreshing our surroundings, yearning for brighter, tidier spaces. But spring cleaning doesn’t only include decluttering and deep cleaning our homes. We can spring clean all areas of our lives to create greater meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. Here’s how.

Spring Cleaning Your Career

What does spring cleaning your career look like? It’s reflecting on “what is truly fulfilling and helping you achieve your bigger goals, and what [you’re] doing out of fear, habit, [or] confusion,” said Aurora Meneghello, founder of Repurpose Your Purpose, a program for individuals who want to change careers.

As such, Meneghello suggested these tips:

Apply the 80/20 rule. Consider what 20 percent of your work is giving you 80 percent of your results. Keep the 20 percent, and consider whether you can drop the rest.

Re-evaluate your current projects. List the projects you’d like to say goodbye to, and for each one, ask yourself: “What would I gain by closing or leaving this project?” We tend to evaluate our work based on a single factor: money, Meneghello said. “But what about having more time? More peace of mind? The opportunity to take on a different project we are more excited about?”

Re-evaluate your current position. Sometimes, you need a more drastic change, such as a new job or even a new line of work. To figure this out, carve out time during the weekend to simply enjoy yourself: Sleep in, take a walk, take a mini road trip, or spend time with loved ones. “Tune into your deepest self, spend some time there, within your heart. And at the end of the [weekend], ask yourself whether you would miss your job or business if you left.”

Meneghello noted that “spring cleaning your career doesn’t have to be a rash, anxiety-provoking process,” and can take time. 

You also can spring clean your workspace: Declutter your cubicle or office. Trash or shred paperwork you don’t need. Return the piles on your desk to their proper homes (and maybe create those proper homes).

You can evaluate your planner/calendar system, along with any other systems you use for work: Are they easy and enjoyable to use? Are they helping you accomplish what you want to accomplish?

And, lastly, you can update your website, resume or curriculum vita, online profiles, and anything else you use for work.

Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

“When you are talking about spring cleaning your relationships, it is about taking a step back and looking at [each one] from a bird’s eye view,” said Jennine Estes, LMFT, a certified emotionally focused psychotherapist who works primarily with couples at her group practice in San Diego.

Estes shared these recommendations:

Reflect on what you’d like to keep and change. List the habits and communication styles that you like and dislike, and decide which ones to keep and toss, Estes said. For instance, maybe you realize that you don’t like watching TV with your partner every night, and would rather connect face-to-face. Maybe you realize that you’d like to work on being assertive—instead of passive-aggressive—with your friends when they hurt your feelings.

Check out relationship resources. Maybe you’d like to attend a couples retreat or workshop to strengthen your connection. Maybe you’d like to read books on growing your relationship. (Estes regularly recommends Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight to couples.) Maybe you’d like to attend couples therapy or premarital counseling.

Minimize time with unsafe people. Think about the people in your life, and who you feel safe to be yourself with. Then spend less time with the people you don’t feel safe with (even if they’re family). For instance, instead of calling your mom every day and listening to complaints and negativity, call her once a week, Estes said. 

Find what works best for you. Do you feel good about how much time you’re spending with your partner, your family and friends, your kids—and yourself? While you won’t be able to reach a perfect balance, you can reflect on a good-enough split, and make small changes. Maybe you’d like a weekly lunch date with your best friend, and a few nights out with your husband. Maybe you need a few hours to yourself every week.

Tamsin Astor, PhD, a coach and author of the book Force of Habit: Unleash Your Power by Developing Great Habits, stressed the importance of having meaningful conversations with your most important people. You might talk about how to support each other, what you want your future to look like, and how you can help each other in creating that future, she said. You also might discuss tougher topics that you’ve been avoiding, such as a recent conflict.

Astor suggested this active listening technique: Set a timer for 15 to 20 minutes, which is when just one of you speaks, and the other person listens, only nodding or smiling. This is how we “hold space” for each other.

Spring Cleaning the Self

“Spring cleaning one’s self is about decluttering the things that no longer serve you so you can make space for [joy],” said Christina Cruz, PsyD, an online life coach who specializes in perfectionism, people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, lack of self-confidence and self-compassion, and feelings of overwhelm.

Thank your old habits. Similar to Marie Kondo’s tip of giving sincere thanks to objects we’re giving away, psychologist Lauren Appio, Ph.D, suggested acknowledging the coping strategies you’ve used thus far—even if they’re no longer useful. “For example, maybe you developed perfectionistic beliefs and behaviors to cope with situations that felt out of control, or to obtain approval whenever you could.”

In other words, instead of criticizing ourselves for not coping well, we can practice self-compassion. We can acknowledge that we were doing the best we could at the time, and those strategies got us to here.

Adopt a new coping strategy. After saying goodbye to an old habit, consider trying out a new stress management, self-soothing, or communication technique, said Appio, who specializes in working with individuals in New York City who are caregivers and people pleasers and struggle with codependency.

You might even use spring as an inspiration. For instance, you could meditate on your porch most mornings, visit the botanical gardens, start swimming, or take an outdoor painting class.

Honestly check in with yourself. Be honest about your feelings, needs, preferences, and limits, Appio said. For instance, she said, you might ask yourself: “If I wasn’t afraid of judging myself or being judged, how would I feel about this?” or, “If I wasn’t worried that I would hurt or disappoint others, what would be my preference here? What would my limit be?” 

This doesn’t mean ignoring others; it means gaining a clearer understanding of your own needs before considering other factors. In other words, start with yourself.

Toss out a limiting belief. Replace it with a new belief, look for the evidence to support that new belief, and then practice saying it over and over, Astor said. She shared this example: You trade out the belief “I am unlovable” for “I am lovable.” Some of your evidence includes your parents and best friend regularly saying they love you, and your dog always being excited to see you and being sad when you leave.

Address avoidance. Cruz noted that avoidance can add to our mental clutter—whether it’s avoiding a task or avoiding an emotion. First, identify the things you do to avoid a stressful task or emotion. For instance, one of Cruz’s clients avoided her anger by listening to music, watching TV, and exercising—which only created more distress in her life. Cruz helped her to sit with her anger by meditating.

If you’ve been avoiding an emotion, Cruz suggested this practice: Take five deep breaths, and focus on your body. Visualize your breath running through your body. Focus on the emotion, and its location (e.g., your belly, heart, chest). Describe the emotion, and visualize it “as a wave that ebbs and flows.” Gently notice any desire to avoid it. Finish up by taking five more breaths.

If you’ve been avoiding a task, Appio recommended breaking it down into manageable, even tiny, actionable steps. You can set a timer, or use different techniques to spark your start (e.g., Pomodoro technique of working for 25 minutes and then taking a break).

Clear your mind. To help keep her home clean, Cruz spends about 10 to 15 minutes tidying up at night. We can do the same by tidying up our minds. For instance, she said, if you were particularly self-critical today, replace negative thoughts with kinder ones by imagining that you’re talking to someone you love. You might say: “I may have made a mistake today but I am still a good person,” or “I accept who I am.”

Cruz also recommended asking ourselves these questions: “What no longer serves me? What can I let go of today that would serve my higher good? What was not meant for me to keep?”

After all, that’s what spring cleaning is all about: relinquishing what’s not working, and creating a clear, refreshing canvas.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-spring-clean-all-areas-of-your-life/

[erraticfairy]

How to Spring Clean All Areas of Your Life

Come springtime, many of us start refreshing our surroundings, yearning for brighter, tidier spaces. But spring cleaning doesn’t only include decluttering and deep cleaning our homes. We can spring clean all areas of our lives to create greater meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. Here’s how.

Spring Cleaning Your Career

What does spring cleaning your career look like? It’s reflecting on “what is truly fulfilling and helping you achieve your bigger goals, and what [you’re] doing out of fear, habit, [or] confusion,” said Aurora Meneghello, founder of Repurpose Your Purpose, a program for individuals who want to change careers.

As such, Meneghello suggested these tips:

Apply the 80/20 rule. Consider what 20 percent of your work is giving you 80 percent of your results. Keep the 20 percent, and consider whether you can drop the rest.

Re-evaluate your current projects. List the projects you’d like to say goodbye to, and for each one, ask yourself: “What would I gain by closing or leaving this project?” We tend to evaluate our work based on a single factor: money, Meneghello said. “But what about having more time? More peace of mind? The opportunity to take on a different project we are more excited about?”

Re-evaluate your current position. Sometimes, you need a more drastic change, such as a new job or even a new line of work. To figure this out, carve out time during the weekend to simply enjoy yourself: Sleep in, take a walk, take a mini road trip, or spend time with loved ones. “Tune into your deepest self, spend some time there, within your heart. And at the end of the [weekend], ask yourself whether you would miss your job or business if you left.”

Meneghello noted that “spring cleaning your career doesn’t have to be a rash, anxiety-provoking process,” and can take time. 

You also can spring clean your workspace: Declutter your cubicle or office. Trash or shred paperwork you don’t need. Return the piles on your desk to their proper homes (and maybe create those proper homes).

You can evaluate your planner/calendar system, along with any other systems you use for work: Are they easy and enjoyable to use? Are they helping you accomplish what you want to accomplish?

And, lastly, you can update your website, resume or curriculum vita, online profiles, and anything else you use for work.

Spring Cleaning Your Relationships

“When you are talking about spring cleaning your relationships, it is about taking a step back and looking at [each one] from a bird’s eye view,” said Jennine Estes, LMFT, a certified emotionally focused psychotherapist who works primarily with couples at her group practice in San Diego.

Estes shared these recommendations:

Reflect on what you’d like to keep and change. List the habits and communication styles that you like and dislike, and decide which ones to keep and toss, Estes said. For instance, maybe you realize that you don’t like watching TV with your partner every night, and would rather connect face-to-face. Maybe you realize that you’d like to work on being assertive—instead of passive-aggressive—with your friends when they hurt your feelings.

Check out relationship resources. Maybe you’d like to attend a couples retreat or workshop to strengthen your connection. Maybe you’d like to read books on growing your relationship. (Estes regularly recommends Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight to couples.) Maybe you’d like to attend couples therapy or premarital counseling.

Minimize time with unsafe people. Think about the people in your life, and who you feel safe to be yourself with. Then spend less time with the people you don’t feel safe with (even if they’re family). For instance, instead of calling your mom every day and listening to complaints and negativity, call her once a week, Estes said. 

Find what works best for you. Do you feel good about how much time you’re spending with your partner, your family and friends, your kids—and yourself? While you won’t be able to reach a perfect balance, you can reflect on a good-enough split, and make small changes. Maybe you’d like a weekly lunch date with your best friend, and a few nights out with your husband. Maybe you need a few hours to yourself every week.

Tamsin Astor, PhD, a coach and author of the book Force of Habit: Unleash Your Power by Developing Great Habits, stressed the importance of having meaningful conversations with your most important people. You might talk about how to support each other, what you want your future to look like, and how you can help each other in creating that future, she said. You also might discuss tougher topics that you’ve been avoiding, such as a recent conflict.

Astor suggested this active listening technique: Set a timer for 15 to 20 minutes, which is when just one of you speaks, and the other person listens, only nodding or smiling. This is how we “hold space” for each other.

Spring Cleaning the Self

“Spring cleaning one’s self is about decluttering the things that no longer serve you so you can make space for [joy],” said Christina Cruz, PsyD, an online life coach who specializes in perfectionism, people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, lack of self-confidence and self-compassion, and feelings of overwhelm.

Thank your old habits. Similar to Marie Kondo’s tip of giving sincere thanks to objects we’re giving away, psychologist Lauren Appio, Ph.D, suggested acknowledging the coping strategies you’ve used thus far—even if they’re no longer useful. “For example, maybe you developed perfectionistic beliefs and behaviors to cope with situations that felt out of control, or to obtain approval whenever you could.”

In other words, instead of criticizing ourselves for not coping well, we can practice self-compassion. We can acknowledge that we were doing the best we could at the time, and those strategies got us to here.

Adopt a new coping strategy. After saying goodbye to an old habit, consider trying out a new stress management, self-soothing, or communication technique, said Appio, who specializes in working with individuals in New York City who are caregivers and people pleasers and struggle with codependency.

You might even use spring as an inspiration. For instance, you could meditate on your porch most mornings, visit the botanical gardens, start swimming, or take an outdoor painting class.

Honestly check in with yourself. Be honest about your feelings, needs, preferences, and limits, Appio said. For instance, she said, you might ask yourself: “If I wasn’t afraid of judging myself or being judged, how would I feel about this?” or, “If I wasn’t worried that I would hurt or disappoint others, what would be my preference here? What would my limit be?” 

This doesn’t mean ignoring others; it means gaining a clearer understanding of your own needs before considering other factors. In other words, start with yourself.

Toss out a limiting belief. Replace it with a new belief, look for the evidence to support that new belief, and then practice saying it over and over, Astor said. She shared this example: You trade out the belief “I am unlovable” for “I am lovable.” Some of your evidence includes your parents and best friend regularly saying they love you, and your dog always being excited to see you and being sad when you leave.

Address avoidance. Cruz noted that avoidance can add to our mental clutter—whether it’s avoiding a task or avoiding an emotion. First, identify the things you do to avoid a stressful task or emotion. For instance, one of Cruz’s clients avoided her anger by listening to music, watching TV, and exercising—which only created more distress in her life. Cruz helped her to sit with her anger by meditating.

If you’ve been avoiding an emotion, Cruz suggested this practice: Take five deep breaths, and focus on your body. Visualize your breath running through your body. Focus on the emotion, and its location (e.g., your belly, heart, chest). Describe the emotion, and visualize it “as a wave that ebbs and flows.” Gently notice any desire to avoid it. Finish up by taking five more breaths.

If you’ve been avoiding a task, Appio recommended breaking it down into manageable, even tiny, actionable steps. You can set a timer, or use different techniques to spark your start (e.g., Pomodoro technique of working for 25 minutes and then taking a break).

Clear your mind. To help keep her home clean, Cruz spends about 10 to 15 minutes tidying up at night. We can do the same by tidying up our minds. For instance, she said, if you were particularly self-critical today, replace negative thoughts with kinder ones by imagining that you’re talking to someone you love. You might say: “I may have made a mistake today but I am still a good person,” or “I accept who I am.”

Cruz also recommended asking ourselves these questions: “What no longer serves me? What can I let go of today that would serve my higher good? What was not meant for me to keep?”

After all, that’s what spring cleaning is all about: relinquishing what’s not working, and creating a clear, refreshing canvas.

from World of Psychology http://bit.ly/2VtI0zO via theshiningmind.com

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