#Ozzer

[aspiring-creative-person]

Ok just finished monstrous regiment today. I’m gonna dump some of my thoughts, will post fanart sometime this week.

First of all, I’m a little surprised people are shipping Polly and Maladict? Like in my mind there is a significant age gap lol but if you read them closer in age I guess I see it

Ok I know Maladict is canonically a woman but I still read him as a man. Like He/They maybe because who really knows about vampires you know?

Jackrum being a trans man makes sense to me. Literally said “I am your dad now” in more ways than one 😂

Honestly I read Polly as gender fluid? I haven’t seen many people talking about this. Like, there are moments, at least two, where she feels like she’s dressing *up* as a woman, not just dressing *as* a woman, and I guess the end where she tells the girls they can choose might indicate this but also I guess was more there for plot reasons but still.

Ok, also I absolutely love Otto the Vampire?? What a character entrance 😂😂

I haven’t actually read many other discworld books. I wasn’t aware until after I finished this book that some of the side characters in here are major discworld characters, and I’m excited to keep reading it!!

Oh more about Maladict. I also didn’t reread the physical description until the end, and I view him as very short and not actually really skinny like it describes him oops. But it’s too late I already have my image of him. Anyway I love how in discworld the vampires are like, middle aged men, rather than sexy Twilight high schoolers forever 😂😂

Also Igorina is so cute??? I’ll never get over characters who are like aliens or something, enjoying something that tastes bad to other people. It’s always so wholesome 😂

Also Blouse!!! Super fun! I love him. He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit. And also he is actually really smart! And he sticks up for them when it matters :) Good for him.

Ok I think that’s it for tonight oof

[valvalentintin]

Could I interest you in my Little Lads?

[creativenicocorner]

Now I KNOW this has been done already, but I wanted to give my take on Ye Olde Lesbian Meme ♡ 

[pourablecat]

7. Polly/Ozzer Perks

"And then there was the young-male walk to master. At least women swung only their hips. Young men swung everything, from the shoulders down. You have to try to occupy a lot of space, she thought. It makes you look bigger, like a tomcat fluffing his tail." - Monstrous Regiment

I promised not to draw any primped-up dresses this time, yes? Unfortunately I didn't say anything about ridiculous style changes. So this time we have Ozzer in Osamu Tezuka's style. Aka Shoujo manga Polly. And... I didn't notice until now that I forgot to draw her, ahem, socks. But I swear, I used a male character as reference for her build. Tezuka's characters don't have much in the way of secondary sexual characteristics anyway.

If you've read some of Tezuka you'd probably know why I chose his style for this book. Ribon no Kishi or Princess Knight has the two-hearted Prince/Princess Sapphire, who is in no way like Polly. (By the way it wasn't Sapphire I used as reference - it was her son in Twin Knights). Unlike Monstrous Regiment, though, the crossdressing/genderfluidity was... not really handled that well. Yet there's something so distinct in Tezuka's drawing style that carries very well across genres, I think the wackiness would work very well in some (not all) Discworld novels. For one Jackrum would work awesomely in Tezuka's style - I could see him moving along like a balloon in the wind like how Sir Pterry describes him.

Still, I do find Monstrous Regiment one of the weaker Discworld books. Might be how the Ins-and-Outs don't really do much in the way of bringing about the climax of the story (granted, the problem here is deep and systematic and pretty much unsolvable by a measly few people). One thing I did like, though, was how part of the message was that toxic masculinity is unacceptable even when enacted by a woman. Here it's sockness, in Revolutionary Girl Utena it's the concept of a Prince. A woman can wear socks, or be a Prince, but still step right into the pitfall of misogyny. A world in which being a woman in power means you have to act exactly like the men (which, by the way, Angua mentioned once in Feet of Clay, I think?) is not really much better than a world in which you have a Nuggan-mandated code for womanly behavior.

Jackrum, though - his last confession and the bit where he retires to be a grandfather brought tears to my eyes. Did it never occur to him before that he could leave the army as a man? And yet again how could one say Sir Pterry would've supported the transphobes?

[cateyedfox36]

MONSTROUS REGIMENT

great book. We can all agree. However. The audio book I have is read by a man. And not even a young guy, or even a guy with a solid femme voice. It's Stephen Briggs who arguable is the worst narrator, or at least my least favorite, but it'd be whatever in a book who's pivotal character is masc. But to have a bloke like him narrate Ozzer's story! It's stupid. And I fully get that the 'were all afab and some of us will likely return to presenting femme, but a few of us are trans masc" of it all. So hire a nonbinary narrator! Who can balance the sliding gender of 99 PERCENT OF THE FUCKING CAST!!

When I die, I'm going to find the schmendrick who decided Briggs can do this book justice and kick him in the shins. After dumbsacking Joanne rawlings' prison cell in hell.

[dimity-lawn]

If Monstrous Regiment ever gets made into a movie, David Tennant could play Lieutenant Blouse.

Me to myself as I type: hehe… LieuTennant.

[substitious-bastard]

polladict is such a funny ship name to me bcs on one hand i love the poll-adict like mal is addicted to polly but on the other i find mally or even mazzer fucking hilarious

[gutsfics]

i saw this clip and instantly Knew i had to make screenshots with Imtura and Ozzer lmao

[batteryfisher]

"Forget you were ever Polly. Think young male, that was the thing...walk like a puppet that'd had a couple of random strings cut, never hug anyone, and, if you met a friend, punch them." - Monstrous Regiment

[the-witchhunter]

Sometimes a family is:

a boy/girl/ozzer, a vampire, a troll, a lesbian, an arsonist lesbian, a teen mom, a blouse, an Igor, a religious fanatic haunted by the ghost of a dead dutches, and their trans Dad

[burlesque-brigade]

Me as Private Polly/Oliver “Ozzer” Perks from Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

@woodsmokeandwords as Corporal Maladict

Photo by @electrospectrum

[milfdarthrevan]

ozzer, they're lesbians

[mllemaenad]

The Magnus Protocol: Getting Off

Much like Gwen, I would very much like to know what the point of this is.

The first time I listened to this, I had a horrible fever, and honestly I think my only takeaway was that dying to the sound of that irritating Mr Bonzo song sounds tremendously unfair. That's a gross insult added to fatal injury situation right there.

Now, listening with a clearer head, I just keep thinking – this feels like a ridiculously convoluted way to achieve anything. So what are they aiming for, with all this rigamarole?

Most of the victims seem to be ... well, moderately important, let's say? They're throwing a bachelor party in a private room in what sounds like an upmarket strip club, so they have some money to throw around.

And this:

Norris/Jordan Bennett This lot weren’t the worst. Just a bunch of heavyset, middle-aged lads with names like Ozzer, or Rozzer or whatever. My guess was they used to be a school rugby team or something. The groom was fine, acted embarrassed even though he was obviously keen and they were easily pleased. – The Magnus Protocol: Getting Off

... very much gives off private school old boys vibes. Er. I mean public school, since it's British. But regardless.

They're probably somebodies, up to a point. Successful in business or politics. Drive Audis or Lamborghinis, or whatever is fashionable these days (my entire understanding of what car people like may be derived from a couple of Top Gear episodes I saw over a decade ago). Vote Tory. Have wine collections. Send their sons to the same school they attended. That sort of thing.

But only up to a point. Jordan, the bartender doing the narration, pointedly doesn't recognise any of them. They're just more of the same sort she served every night. The Prime Minister didn't die in that strip club that day, nor did any famous film star, nor any CEO big enough to have been on the news defending his company's dubious business practices. Just some guys, presumably with a bit of money.

It took a bit to set up, too. All the business with the name and address in the envelope, which required a hand delivery to the monster. Then, of course, someone had to plant the lunch box – or I suppose it could supernaturally manifest itself, but that does not sound like less work. And it seems to have only worked because "Baz" the groom was genuinely a Mr Bonzo fan.

Norris/Jordan Bennett They started giving the groom gifts. Same old tat as always, cufflinks, poo gags, all the standard stuff. Then the groom spotted the last one on the table, this cheap yellow and purple kids lunch box. It looked old and shoddy and no one admitted to bringing it but the groom just squealed with glee and carefully opened it before pulling out a bunch old souvenir merch. Pencils, postcards, keyrings, all sorts of crap, all the same yellow and purple and last of all a cracked CD case. When they saw it the whole bunch gave this big laughing cheer. – The Magnus Protocol: Getting Off

He had to like Mr Bonzo to trigger the trap. Had that lunch box been delivered to Jordan she would have tossed it.

It required research and setup, and access to exactly the kind of monster to which Baz would be vulnerable.

For an assassination, it's obviously absurd; there have to be thugs who'll do that job with less associated nonsense. It's entirely possible that somebody wants these guys dead, but that can't be why the OIAR did it. It's also a lot for the purposes of generating a scary story. I mean – the OIAR is drowning in scary stories. And if I'm honest, this one wasn't especially scary. I mean, don't get me wrong – it's deeply unpleasant and awful, but I've never been much moved by "monster on a rampage" tales.

But on the other side of it, it's much too small scale for a The Magnus Archives-style ritual.

There is Jordan, though. The thing about Jordan is that she is very much the sister of Dianne Margolis from Give and Take. If you subtract the specifics of the monsters, the stories are basically identical:

A place of business

A monster that is in some sense invited in

A massacre

A single, surviving staff member, traumatised and seeking compensation

Jordan and Dianne themselves are both professionals who find themselves wildly out of their depths when confronted with a supernatural interloper. And, crucially, both were abandoned by their superiors, and that isolation made them vulnerable. Dianne has a boss who goes on "personal development sabbaticals" and doesn't answer her emails. Jordan has a doorman who goes on unscheduled smoke breaks. Now, in fairness to poor Joey the doorman, it does seem as though Mr Bonzo took him out first. But there's a lot of plausible deniability to be found in that history – sometimes, Jordan is left on her own, and if something were to go wrong ...

Norris/Jordan Bennett All I actually want is my hand back so I can tend bar but that isn’t going to happen is it? So I’ll have to settle for the next best thing and sue you for everything I can get, because I don’t know what happened that night but it was in your venue and no one came to help. Not Derek, not another doorman, no one. So yeah, you’d better have one hell of a settlement waiting for me, or I'll see you in court. – The Magnus Protocol: Getting Off

A bachelor party is an odd choice of a place to kill someone. This isn't Baz's address. He wouldn't be here long, and in practice might be hard to pin down: he could arrive late or leave early; he could decide to go hang out in the public areas for a bit. Jordan, though. This is her workplace. You can just about guarantee she will be there.

Monsters in The Magnus Archives were not primarily interested in killing people. I mean – they did kill people, obviously. Sometimes quite a lot of people. But they killed people because dying people are often afraid, or because if you're, say, trying to make people afraid of falling, throwing one guy out of a cable car will make an impression on the other passengers.

Killing wasn't the point.

We have, here, another semi-public murder with a surviving witness. Jordan is unlikely to convince herself this never happened because she has her missing hand as evidence.

Geraldine The witness statements from three murders over the last five years – Nigel (speaking over her) I told your producer this wasn’t going to be discussed. Geraldine – that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat? – The Magnus Protocol: Saturday Night

On her own, Jordan might just be a spooky story. But that's a fourth witness statement for Geraldine. There have been at least four cases over the past five years of something almost exactly like this: grisly murders, and someone left alive to tell the tale.

Something is trying to get everyone's attention.

And I wonder if the name Gwen gave Mr Bonzo wasn't Jordan Bennett.

As for who benefits, I have no doubt Alice is quite correct.

Alice What are you getting at? Gwen You never wonder what the point is? Who benefits from all this awfulness? Alice I don’t wonder. I know. Gwen (sitting up) What? Really? Alice (portentous) Oh yeah. I’ve known for a while. What we’re doing here, it’s all part of a grand plan to satisfy one of the most unspeakable evils known to mankind… Gwen’s on the edge of her seat. Alice (almost a whisper) …the UK government. – The Magnus Protocol: Getting Off

Sure, that's one of those lines that sounds like a joke, but which actually speaks the truth. That's been the horror all along: the difference between The Magnus Institute, that had to coax people in, and the OIAR, which can just harvest the horrors, sometimes from very private sources.

And I have not forgotten this:

Alice Colin! There’s my guy! How's it hanging? Is it an app yet? Do we have a minimalist logo? I assume you’ve finished all the social features? Colin Don't you start. I swear I'm going to shove a cable down that prick's throat, pull it out his ministerial anus and floss him to death – The Magnus Protocol: First Shift

There's a minister behind this mess, somewhere, and he is likely the one pulling the strings.

The question, mostly, is whether Alice knows she's right. She does talk a good game about indifference, of course, but it's becoming abundantly clear that the OIAR does not hire people who are not marked by the supernatural. And something is already following her.

What could she tell you, if she were ever willing to talk?

Celia and Sam are what remains, of course, but that's just more put-a-pin-in-it-for-later stuff. Whether Alice does or no, Celia has things going on, but she won't talk until the plot is right for it.

[unearthlytraveller]

"Hadn't you spotted her? She went mad when the man charged at Lofty." "But Lofty and Tonker..." Polly began, running to keep up. "I mean, the way they act, they... I though she was his girl... but I thought Tonker... I mean, I know Lofty is a gi-" Even in the dark, Maladict's teeth gleamed as he smiled. "The world's certainly unfolding itself for you, eh? Ozzer? Every day, something new."

[leona-florianova]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @couriers-mile and for once i shall participate

3 ships:I dont really ship much besides friend-ship, and the ships I ship (more like vaguelly acknowledge their existence) are usually canon.. Or close to canon anyway.. uh.. The ones I recall now and usually stand by are - Cable/Deadpool (circa 2004 Cable & Deadpool), Meryl/Milly (Trimax), Maladict/Ozzer (Discworld)

First ship: damn...I dont remember... (throws dart at dartboard of memory) Uhh..either Angel/Buffy or maybe KITT/Michael Knight

Last song: Vacant Lot (The Growlers)

Last film: Il Boemo

Currently reading: Looking for Jake by China Miéville

Currently craving: pork goulash with potatoes (its in the kitchen... and its gonna be tomorrows lunch... so im not even allowed to sniff it)

I'm tagging NOBODY, HA...but anyone who wants can participate

[haveyoureadthistransbook]

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

goodreads

Polly Perks joins the Discworld army to find her brother Paul. "Ozzer" cuts off her blonde braids, dons male garb, belches, scratches, and masters macho habits - aided by well-placed pair of socks. The legendary and seemingly ageless Sergeant Jackrum accepts her plus a vampire, troll, zombie, religious fanatic, and two close "friends". The best man for the job may be a woman.

Mod opinion: I haven't read this book yet (shameful I Know), but I am slowly working my way through the discword novels, so hopefully I'll get around to it sometime.