#PET SEMATARY BLOODLINES (2023)

[slashericons]

Norma — Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

[gameofthunder66]

'Pet Sematary: Bloodlines' (2023) film

-watched 11/10/2023- 2 stars- on Paramount+

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2023 - Worst Film

It’s a marvel this category isn’t filled up with superhero films after the year they’ve had. Here are The Aarons for Worst Film:

#10. 65

A Quiet Place screenwriters Scott Beck and Bryan Woods don’t knock it out of the (Jurassic) park with their subsequent Spielberg homage. 65 will have viewers counting down the seconds until they can go home. The science-fiction tale strands stars Adam Driver and Ariana Greenblatt in a B-movie bereft of a reason to see it. The fusion of futuristic tech and ferocious animals should have been easy fodder for frivolous entertainment. Instead, the sluggish pace of the film’s imminent extinction event suggests it wasn’t a meteor or da ice age that killed the dinosaurs; it was extreme boredom. 

#9. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire

Director Zack Snyder likes to paint himself as a rebel against a restrictive studio system while being constantly given new opportunities without cause. His latest big-budget misfire is a childish mash-up of Star Wars and Seven Samurai. Par for the course, the prosaic director copies his inspirations while completely misunderstanding their objectives. Already, the film’s awkward and abruptly-ended parade of thinly-sketched characters is being billed as another incomplete vision, requiring not just two parts but two cuts of each part to truly fulfill Snyder’s intentions. Maybe his hardcore fans will be pleased at the end of the prolonged journey; everyone else will be over the Moon long before then.

#8. The Exorcist: Believer

From the beginning, the involvement of David Gordon Green inspired little faith in Believer. Sure enough, the director of Halloween kills interest in his proposed trilogy one film sooner than his last. It’s unclear what exactly led the studio to release a sequel fifty years later that’s tamer than a TV edit of the original. It surely couldn’t have been the return of Ellen Burstyn in her Oscar-nominated role of Chris MacNeil given how quickly the film disfigures and discards the character. That said, it may be for the best that she could excise herself from the proceedings before its embarrassing ending. The franchise is no stranger to desecration but, even at its worst, it was never before this uncompelling.

#7. Five Nights At Freddy’s

Topping the box-office may have demonstrated audiences’ appetite for the haunted pizzeria franchise but, make no mistake, the film adaptation of Freddy’s is as run-down as its central establishment. The animatronic mascots at center stage only manage the most pedestrian of jump-scares; they’re far from the only ones just going through the motions. The script, written in part by franchise creator Scott Cawthon, stretches out its thin premise with banal characters and a bizarre child-custody B-plot. It might have been entertaining if it had been any more cheesy. Instead, Freddy’s only serves up an interminable runtime; five nights has never felt so long.

#6. Hypnotic

Hypnotic is aptly named; the thriller from Spy Kids director Robert Rodriguez certainly commands one’s attention. The plot, which revolves around Ben Affleck sleepwalking through a conspiracy involving dueling factions of psychics, is simply too inane to ignore. Rodriguez wrote his initial script back in 2002 but was clearly susceptible to outside influences; the film rips off several works that were released before and since, including the dream-like architecture of Inception. Although the director may pride himself on his low-budget prowess, even he can’t make those knock-off sequences look good (though they’re not the silliest instance of replicating elaborate scenery on a miniscule budget here). The film fulfills its intentions on one front: once it’s all over, audiences will have a hard time believing any of it was real.

#5. Children of the Corn

The latest offspring of the rotten franchise at least had a kernel of a good idea: the remake roots its characters’ motivations in righteous fury at environmental recklessness rather than strictly religious fervor. However, Children never develops this into any kind of sustenance. The horror here is as, ahem, corny as can be, particularly its stale translation of demonic entity He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Director Kurt Wimmer shows no growth as a director since his last film in 2006, the infamous Ultraviolet; the wooden child actors at least have their youth as an excuse. Sadly though, if ranked within the rest of the series, this one would still land in the middle of the row.

#4. Haunted Mansion

2023 was home to many failures for The Walt Disney Company, but none quite as ghastly as the new Haunted Mansion. It’s baffling how a film this overstuffed with actors (including Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, and Danny DeVito among many others) could end up this vacant. Indeed, the biggest throughline of the theme-park adaptation is not its attempted reflection on grief but its pervasive and perverse product placement (One character’s tearful monologue about his dead wife comes complete with a prominent Baskin Robbins namedrop). It’s definitely haunting, just not in the way they hoped for.

#3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

The Big Fat franchise became even more bloated last year with a picture that can most charitably be described as ‘an all-expenses paid trip to Greece for its cast’. There’s certainly no storytelling reason why audiences are still following the adventures of this extended family, which haphazardly include a last-minute wedding of two very minor characters to justify its title. Nia Vardalos finally receives the director’s chair in addition to her regular writing work just in time for there to be no fresh direction to take things in. If she tries to reunite everyone for a fourth go-round, they would be wise to divorce themselves from it as quickly as possible.

#2. Pet Sematary: Bloodlines

Bloodlines resurrects the series last seen in 2019; if this was how it was going to come back, it should have stayed buried. While Stephen King is an imaginative writer, trying to stretch a single chapter of any novel into a feature-length film is like getting blood from a stone. The zombie prequel stumbles its way from scene to scene in search of life, but Bloodlines has nothing for audiences to relate to. Even screen icons like David Duchovny and Pam Grier can’t rouse any interest. Exploiting known franchises may be easy, but, sometimes, making anything else instead is better.

AND THE WORST FILM OF 2023 IS…

#1. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 

Disney slowly losing their stranglehold on intellectual property is a bit bittersweet; Honey is bad enough to sour anyone on the idea of a public domain. The shoddy slasher film, which blustered its way onto the marketplace as soon as the filmmakers could profit from it, is barely recognizable as Pooh but unmistakable as crap. Making the lovable animal into a feral murderer may be legal now, but writer/director Rhys Frake-Waterfield didn’t think, think, think up any other ideas beyond just stirring the pot. Winnie is hoping to prey on one’s curiosity with its premise alone. Word of advice? Don’t bother.

NEXT UP: THE 2023 AARON FOR BEST DIRECTOR!

[abs0luteb4stard]

W A T C H E D ☠️

[frecklesandpoverty]

31 Nights of Halloween Horror: day 9

My choice for today was the prequel to a remake of a classic horror movie. A lot of people didn't like the remake but I did, and apparently a lot of people didn't like this one either but I thought it was fine. My choice was: Pet Sematary Bloodlines

I rated this one 6/10. Acting was fine, writing was fine I guess, I liked all the characters (of course my favorite ended up dying T_T). Nothing amazing, but people are reviewing it like it's complete dog shit, which it wasn't. I haven't read the book since I was a teenager, so I don't remember all the details, but I saw people mad that this entirely changed Jud Crandall's backstory. Maybe if I'd recently reread the book, I'd dislike this movie, but since I haven't, it was fine lol. A few things I would have changed or expanded on, but otherwise it was fine.

Btw this is a prequel to the remake that came out a few years back, so if you didn't like that one already, maybe skip this one lol. I thought it was fine though.

[splatteronmywalls]

[adamwatchesmovies]

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

How did you feel about the 2019 adaptation of Pet Sematary? If you thought it was great, how hungry are you for more? Very? Very very? If yes, you could check out Pet Sematary: Bloodlines. Just be warned that this movie has some good ideas that generally, don’t pay off.

In 1969, Jud Crandall (Jackson White) and his girlfriend, Norma (Natalie Alyn Lind), are preparing to leave Ludlow. Though neither have ever explicitly voiced it, there’s something about the town that just… doesn’t feel right. The evil force in question stems from the Mikmak burial ground deep in the nearby forest; a place whose soil can bring the dead back to life. The trouble is, they never come back quite right.

The film begins with Bill Baterman (David Duchovny) burying someone. It’s not spoiling anything if I tell you that it’s his son, Timmy (Jack Mulhern), who died while fighting in Vietnam and that he's coming back evil. That’s one of the film’s first problems. You kind of already know everything that’s going to happen. I suppose you could flip that around and say that the movie isn’t pretending like you haven’t seen Pet Sematary before, so obviously, it won't make what’s going on a twist. What does that leave us with? We know what will happen to Jud, since he survives. We know the burial ground won't be "defeated". We know basically everything, which makes a voice inside you wonder why this movie was made at all.

To be fair, there are a few things this movie does that are new to the… series? The first is to tell us the origin of Ludlow. Do the flashbacks to the town’s original founding add a whole lot? No, but there is one aspect of this origin story that is interesting: the way everyone reacts to the news that Bill Baterman has brought his son back. In the 2019 Pet Sematary, the burial ground’s ability to resurrect the dead is revealed to Louis by Jud. Now, we see that everyone (or at least, most of the people in the town) seems to know about it. We also find out why people stick around despite the area being cursed. Those who know feel like they need to be there in case something goes wrong; in case someone succumbs to the temptation to use its power. Of course, the fact that they know means they are precisely the kind of people who are prone to using the dark magic. The burial ground is described as a mouth that needs to be fed and grows hungrier as time passes. There are also several hints that the area surrounding the burial ground can influence people, which is a spooky thought. You might be able to defeat a person, but how do you defeat a location?

The other interesting aspect of Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (a generic title) is Timmy. As a former Vietnam War soldier, he eventually uses the tactics he learned in combat against our movie’s protagonists. That means booby traps, guerilla tactics, that sort of thing. There’s something there about a fear a lot of people must’ve had (or still have) when family members return from conflict: What if they come back… but aren’t quite right? What if they can’t leave the fight behind? It’s a lot more threatening than a child going against their parents.

I want to be nice towards this horror prequel because I wasn’t bored while watching but there’s no skirting the ending. It’s terrible. I never would’ve expected a climax in a series of underground tunnels big enough for grown adults to stand in. The finale asks you to suspend your disbelief from a ten-story window in the middle of a rainstorm, with your eyes closed while telling everyone "It's fine!". For every choice or character that intrigued me (I’d like to call out Forrest Goodluck as Manny and Isabella Star LaBlanc as his sister, Donna) there’s another that makes you groan. If this was the best a prequel to the 2019 film could be, I again question whether this story really needed to be told. (May 13, 2024)

[anotherleftturn]

October 07, 2023

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines(2023) Taking place sixty years before the remake of Pet Sematary, Jud and his girlfriend or wife? Never made clear, are off to join the Peace Corps when they almost run over the undead dog of Timmy Baterman.

This movie does so many things wrong that it truly hurts my brain. One: they omit the fact that Jud's dog comes back not the same so they can make him a clueless main character. Just a story that has jumpscares that are just loud noises essentially, and whoever directed this put no heart into it. This movie felt like an empty vessel. I was thinking as I watched this that I could as easily read the damn book. Sequels, prequels and remakes are becoming an absolute waste of time for me to watch.

A prequel to a remake that people generally have very little interest in. If they had made a prequel to the original Pet Sematary and got Mary Lambert back to direct and Stephen King to write, Maybe this would have been worth watching. And make it from Bill Baterman's perspective. It's movies like this that make me want to quit watching movies all together.

And David Duchovny as Timmy Baterman's dad. Maybe The Red Shoe Diaries needs a revival too, because David Duchovny probably acted better in that than he did this corpse of a movie.

[faniacmag]

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines | Official Trailer | Paramount+ - YouTube

In 1969, a young Jud Crandall is set to leave his hometown of Ludlow, Maine in search of his life’s purpose. Before he makes it out, however, Jud and his childhood friends encounter an ancient evil that has gripped Ludlow since its founding.

Stream Pet Sematary: Bloodlines October 6, exclusively on Paramount+.

[usertiff]

— FORREST GOODLUCK GIFS !

in this pack, you’ll find exactly #95 gifs of FORREST GOODLUCK in pet sematary: bloodlines (2023). he is indigenous of the navajo, hidatsa, mandan, and tsimshian nations, please cast accordingly. all of these gifs, including the psds, were made from scratch by me. if you’d like to use these gifs, you can find them on a page in the source code! if you plan on using them or found them useful, please give this a 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠

these were absolute ass to color, so i’m sorry the quality isn’t the best here <3

if you'd like a download, you can dm me for the gdrive, and if you'd like to donate, they're $2 on payhip (as payhip doesn't allow $0 uploads anymore)

USAGE RULES

DO NOT edit ( resize, re-color, crop, etc. )

DO NOT use to rp anything gross, taboo, actual people / celebs, or minors

DO NOT claim as your own or redistribute them

TRIGGER WARNINGS: smoking/weed, gun

[slashericons]

Jud Crandall — Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

"The X-Files alum humorously draws parallels between being a father in real life and his character, noting that while he's never walked in on one of his children eating bloody raw meat, he has walked in on enough horrific things to give him some basis to work on."

[dantorrance-moved]

FORREST GOODLUCK as MANNY RIVERS PET SEMATARY: BLOODLINES (2023)

[brokehorrorfan]

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines will be released on Digital on December 5 and on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, and DVD on December 19 via Paramount. The 2023 prequel to Stephen King's Pet Sematary is currently streaming exclusively on Paramount+.

Lindsey Anderson Beer directs from a script she co-wrote with Jeff Buhler (Pet Sematary, The Midnight Meat Train). Jackson White, Forrest Goodluck, Jack Mulhern, Henry Thomas, Natalie Alyn Lind, Isabella Star LaBlanc, Samantha Mathis, Pam Grier, and David Duchovny star.

Nearly an hour of special features, listed below, are included.

Special features:

Origins - Explore haunting secrets with David Duchovny and other cast members

Fresh Blood - Watch as new talent embraces the Pet Sematary legacy

Death’s Design - Unearth hidden Easter eggs

Method to the Madness- Go behind the scenes with actors Jack Mulhern and Isabella Star LeBlanc

War Comes Home - Enter the realm of Pet Sematary as filmmakers and cast dissect the final scene

In 1969, a young Jud Crandall is set to leave his hometown of Ludlow, Maine in search of his life’s purpose. Before he makes it out, however, Jud and his childhood friends encounter an ancient evil that has gripped Ludlow since its founding.

Pre-order Pet Sematary: Bloodlines.

[esqueletosgays]

PET SEMATARY: BLOODLINES (2023)

Director: Lindsey Anderson Beer Cinematography: Benjamin Kirk Nielsen