#POSolutions

[theinstock]

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[lipglossanon]

Neighborly Affections

Dante x fem!reader (one shot)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, slight flirting, PWP, Dante is probably OOC (sorry, I tried!), dirty talk, blowjob, ball sucking, praise kink, unprotected sex, creampie

looked over but not proofread

thanks for all the likes and follows! 💜 💜 we’ve crossed the 3000 threshold which makes me wanna throw up from nerves but here we are lmao. enjoy!

Everyone kept telling you that you’ve moved into a rough neighborhood, but you’ve been able to scrape by without any issues—that is, until now. 

A crash from downstairs wakes you from a dreamless slumber. Mind still fogged with sleep, you creep out of your room and over to the stairwell. A loud, otherworldly screech makes the blood in your veins freeze. Goosebumps break out along your arms and you hold your breath.

Some thing begins to climb your stairs. At first you thought it was a deformed monkey, your mind struggling with placing the abomination; but, as it jerkily walks up the steps, you realize it has too many arms for any kind of animal or human. Its limbs all end with hands and weird bulbous eyes litter its body. 

Another unholy wail drives you back into your room, fear suffusing your thoughts and actions. Your hindbrain is in control now, driving you to hide, make yourself small, to stay quiet. Shuffling steps can be heard outside your room now. Clasping a hand over your mouth, you squeeze your eyes shut and hope it goes away. 

Another loud yell from the creature is discordantly silenced by gunfire. Your eyes shoot open and you strain to hear over the beating of your heart. More gunfire interspersed with male grunts come from just the other side of your door.  

Your bedroom door bangs open and you cry out, hands coming up to shield yourself. 

“Nice digs, this your place?” 

You blink. A man meets your stare, crooked smile gracing his stubbled face. His white hair shines in the low light, giving him a supernatural glow. Eyes dipping down, you quickly take in the rest of him. Chest peeking out of an unbuttoned black Henley shirt, a faded red coat ending at his knees, and his hands, covered with black gloves, match his black pants. 

He checks over his guns and slips them back into their holsters as you stare. 

“T-thank you,” voice cracking on the first word; you clear your throat nervously.

“No sweat,” he grins outright, “not every day I get to save a pretty lady in distress.”

Shoulders finally relaxing, you move closer to him, catching a thick scent of gunpowder and leather oil. Seeing him up close, you realize he’s actually quite handsome. A strong jaw and light eyes that easily draw you in.

“Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

He waves you off, “All in a day's work. ‘Sides, we’re neighbors,” he jerks his thumb to the right.

A lightbulb dings in your mind’s eye.

“Oh! You own Devil May Cry,” you smile, and his grin widens. 

“That’s me. Dante, at your service,” he performs a mocking little bow, fluttering his hand out.

You laugh softly and introduce yourself, fear long forgotten in the wake of this charming stranger. Offering to walk him back to the front door, you chat amiably. 

“It’s safe now though?” You ask just as he crosses your threshold into the street. 

“Safe as houses,” he knocks on your doorframe. “But I’ll be keeping an eye out on ya.”

Biting your lip, you tilt your head. “That’s nice of you. Are you sure I can’t pay you back in some way?”

He tips his head back, cupping his chin with his thumb and forefinger while he thinks. Clicking his fingers, he points at you.

“I got it. Just swing by this,” he glances up at the night sky, “afternoon, and you can file some paperwork for me.”

“Really?”

He nods, lips turning up at the corners, “Posolutely absitively.”

You smile, “Okay, I’ll drop by later.”

Holding up two fingers near his head, he salutes you, then makes his way back to his place next door—gait easy and nonchalant. Closing and locking the door, you slowly walk through your house, taking in the few things that must’ve been broken by that creature. 

In the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing you can’t take care of—you're alive, and that’s all that truly matters. Thanks to Dante, you think, heart fluttering with excitement to see him again. Heading upstairs and climbing back into bed, you fall asleep much easier than you anticipated. You wake up late, but remain unhurried as it’s the weekend (thankfully).  

The rest of the day is spent cleaning up your house—and keeping an eye on the clock—until you feel it’s late enough to pop over to Dante’s place. It’s a little daunting, you muse while you glance up at the flickering neon sign bathing the brick facade and wooden doors in a soft red. Although the sun is still out, this part of the city feels as if it’s perpetually shadowed—the tall buildings crouching around the area like hungry felines. 

Rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait a beat until you can hear a man’s voice calling out to enter. Pushing open the heavy oak door, you greedily eye the room in front of you. It’s all wood and leather with minimal lighting, giving the whole space an intimate and cozy atmosphere. Not much furniture except an old desk with a comfortable looking chair, a bar in the back corner next to a jukebox, and a couch near the wall.

“Right on time!” Dante grins at you, feet kicked up on the desk and leaning back in his chair. Lowering his legs, he rests his elbows down on the desktop, propping his chin up on his clasped hands. 

“I’ll let you get to it,” he watches you make your way to the other side of the desk. “All of the papers are here and I just need someone to file’em. It’ll get some of my… associates off my back.“

Nodding, you fight to keep your hands at your sides and not pick at your nails. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Thanks, you’re really doing me a favor,” he winks, lumbering to his feet with a groan. 

Stretching his arms above his head, Dante’s shirt rides up, showing off his lower belly and a trail of hair leading your eyes down before being cut off by the band of his pants. A spark of heat pulses in your body, dropping your eyes down further and seeing a bulge pressing against his zipper. Mouth watering, you snap your gaze up to his face and mentally breathe a sigh of relief knowing his eyes were still shut. 

He doesn’t say anything else, walking over to the couch and flopping down onto the supple leather. Using one arm, he covers his eyes and promptly dozes off. Turning your attention back to his messy desk, you slowly start to organize the papers into quantifiable piles. Hours quickly pass this way until it’s dark outside once more. 

Dants’s still napping on the couch when you finish up the last of the paperwork. Biting your lip, you let yourself indulge a little and run your eyes from his broad chest down to the bulge enticing you like a siren’s song. Clearing your throat doesn’t do anything, so you walk over to the couch. Lightly touching his arm, you try to call his attention. 

He stretches out, shirt riding up again—the visual making you squeeze your nails into your palms. Yawning, he raises up into a sitting position, scratching the back of his head. 

“Damn, finished already?”

Smiling faintly, you shrug, “Yeah, it honestly wasn’t that bad. Whoever did the filing before had an easy system to follow.”

He nods, “I’ll let’em know.” 

Inadvertently, your eyes are drawn to his lap before you jerk them back up to his face, embarrassment suffusing your body.

“See something you like?” His lips curl up into a snarky grin. Spreading his legs wider, he tilts his hips up at you. “Promise it doesn’t bite.”

Not letting yourself think about what a poor decision this might be, you quickly drop down to your knees between his thighs. Gripping the hem of his shirt, you glance back up at him. He nods down at you and you’re quick to push it up, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth. Leaning down, you run your tongue across the skin of his belly before nuzzling into his happy trail. Neither of you are even undressed and you feel like you’re going crazy. 

Whining, you fumble with his zipper until he chuckles, hands sweeping yours out of the way allowing him to undo his pants. You eagerly watch as he tugs himself free, no underwear to worry with, only his leaking uncut cock—thick and heavy. Moaning, you press a sloppy kiss to the head. 

“Whoah, whoah, slow down there,” he laughs at you and it sends a frisson of heat to your cunt. “Promise it’s not going anywhere.”

He grips the base in his hand and taps it against your lips. “Such an eager girl, couldn’t wait to kiss it, could you? Practically gagging for it.”

You nod, eyes taking in how big his cock looks, his heavy balls making your mouth water. Without consciously realizing it, your face drifts down. Lolling your tongue out, you lick a stripe up the seam of his balls.

“Ohh, that’s nice,” he sighs out, spreading his legs as far as he can with his pants still bunched around his thighs. “I won’t say no to a pretty girl slobbering over my nuts.”

Whining, you open your mouth wider, messily sucking and licking at his sac. He holds his cock up towards his abdomen, giving you more space to suck his balls. He lounges back on the couch, draping one arm behind him across the back and using the other to grip your head. Eyes fluttering shut, you moan, gliding your warm wet mouth up to his stiff cock. You kiss and suck at his leaking tip, tongue delving into his slit to taste his precum.

Musky taste sitting heavy on your tongue, you hum, dragging your mouth down his fat dick to suck at the base before kissing his balls. Parting your mouth on a soft sigh, your tongue eagerly laps at the soft skin. He grunts, fingers twitching against your head. Eyes half lidded, you watch his head tilt back in pleasure. You suck on his squishy sac, lips and tongue working together to make his cock leak more precum.

You ignore your aching cunt—panties sticky with slick, hugging the lips of your pussy and making your clit throb. Nuzzling his balls, you moan, the vibration rumbling against the sensitive skin. You suck his balls back into your mouth, spit pooling at the corners of your lips.  

“So good,” he slurs, thighs twitching, “‘m really sensitive there.”

You whimper, tongue gliding up the seam of his sac before licking broad wet stripes all across his heavy balls. 

“Mmm suck me,” he groans, “use that messy mouth to suck me.”

Pulling away with a wet kiss to his balls, you run your tongue up his length and lick up the sticky mess dripping from his slit. You concentrate on his fat tip until he’s bucking up with a moan. 

“C’mon suck all of it, wanna be buried in that wet throat,” he croons, hand gripping your head and guiding his cock in deeper.

Your mind’s a blank canvas, head completely empty except for the driving need to get Dante’s cock in you. You choke, trying to slip him into your throat. Pulling back with a retching cough, you watch his cock blurt precum all down the shaft. 

“Try not to hurt yourself,” he jokes, cock flexing against your lips. 

You nod, and he groans loudly when you go right back to trying to deep throat him. 

“Such a messy girl,” he murmurs down at you, hand guiding your head to bob up and down his cock. 

A gargled moan vibrates down his cock as you sloppily suck him harder, spit spilling from your mouth to leak down to his balls.

“Oh, you like that? Like choking on my cock, huh?” he chuckles. “Yeah, ya do.”

Moaning, you suck his thick cock harder, lips stretched wide. 

“Hell, you’ve already got me close,” he grunts, cock flexing as the tip kisses the back of your throat, “gonna cum all over your tongue, stuff your mouth full.”

He humps forward, letting your hot mouth slide up and down his dick, tongue lashing against his sensitive tip on every upswipe.

“God, I’m about to cum,” he pants, “gonna swallow it for me? Yeah, you will—good girls always swallow.”

Dante grunts, eyes squeezing shut as he stuffs your mouth with his cock—your own eyes wet and hooded while you stare up at his face. His balls draw up closer to his cock. You're so turned on your nipples are tight buds, poking through your top; finally giving in to temptation, you shove your hand into your panties to rub at your soaked pussy. 

“Yes,” he hisses, cock kicking inside your mouth as he stiffens even more. His eyes roll back as he spurts hot and sticky your swollen mouth. “You take it like such a good girl.”

His balls twitch and throb as rope after rope of thick cum paints your throat, coating your mouth and tongue until you have to pull away with a cough, unable to swallow it all. His fat cock spurts a smaller load all over your lips and chin making you stick your tongue out to catch more. Arousal ignites your blood making you feel so hot you’re surprised you’re not catching fire. 

You lean forward and pull the head back into your mouth, tongue lapping up the weak spurts of cum you coax from his spent dick. He murmurs something under his breath, cock kicking inside your mouth—hungry for more of his cum. 

Pulling back, you whimper, burying your face against his thick thigh, fingers rubbing your swollen clit. You nearly go cross-eyed when his cock begins to stiffen in front of your face. Moaning, you drool, open mouthed against his muscled thigh, greedily eyeing his drippy cock.

“Get up here,” he moves his hands to grip your shoulders, tugging you up his body. 

Legs shaking from kneeling so long, you clumsily climb his body until you’re straddling his lap. Not even slipping your panties off, he just pushes them to the side, running his cock against your wet slit. 

“Please,” you beg, mouth swollen and sticky with cum.

“No worries, I got you,” he mumbles, eyes glued to your sopping wet cunt. “Now let’s see how much this little hole can stretch.”

Keening high in your throat, he guides the fat tip of his cock to push into your cunt. Without letting up, he pumps his hips upward while guiding yours down. It feels like it takes forever, your pussy drooling slick down his fat cock as he inches inside your hole. 

“God, you feel so good,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders as his dick grinds against the spongy spot that has your pussy walls fluttering like crazy. 

“You too,” he growls, hands gripping your ass, “this fat pussy’s a perfect fit.”

You can’t breathe, he’s buried so deep inside your body. If you hadn’t spent ages sucking him off, you’d swear you could taste him in the back of your throat. Tipping forward, you bury your face into his chest, rubbing against him like a cat in heat. Whining, you tug open more buttons, open mouthed panting against his pecs.

“Just a sec,” you feel his laugh more than hear it. He raises you up far enough to slip his shirt off, letting you go back to mouthing across his pecs. 

Dante’s chest hair tickles your face, but your fluttering cunt squeezing his cock says you like it more than you let on. His hot palms grip your ass under your skirt, bouncing you down harder on his cock.

“So soft and slick,” he groans above you. 

Splitting you open on his fat cock, you drool and whine with every pump of his hips. His tip knocks into the opening of your womb—sending shockwaves of pleasure pain throughout your body, making you dizzy with arousal. Your cunt gushes slick with every thrust into your stretched hole.

“Cockdrunk already,” he teases, jiggling your ass in his hands. “C’mon, bounce on it. There you go, good girl.”

Raising up, your hands drag down to his stomach, bracing yourself so you can ride him harder. The angle shifts and now he’s brushing against your g-spot with every roll of your hips. Eyes open but unseeing, you moan brokenly, pussy squelching as you fuck down on his cock. It doesn’t take long in this position for your body to arrive at the cusp of an orgasm. 

“I-I’m gonna cum,” you stutter out, making eye contact with the man rearranging your guts. “Fuck.”

He grins, blue eyes crinkling at the corners, “Yeah? Go ahead, squeeze down on me, let me feel this sweet pussy cum.”

Choking out a rasping moan, your cunt clenches down on his cock, body jerking while your brain detonates. It’s the strongest orgasm you’ve ever experienced with someone, and it has you seeing stars. Dante’s talking to you, but you can’t hear him over the blood roaring in your ears.

When you finally come to your senses, you find yourself slumped back onto his chest. He’s still slowly fucking up into your spasming cunt, and it makes your clit throb. 

“Did that feel good?” He murmurs into your hair. “Little pussy gripped me so tight, I didn’t think you’d ever let go.”

Sluggishly, you turn your head to look up at him. You realize you haven’t even kissed yet. Something in your face must give you away because he looks at you with regret. 

“Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell,” his low voice soothes the sting a little. “But I’ll make it up to you by making this little pussy cum ‘til she can’t.”

Faster than you thought possible, Dante has you on your back, pressed down into the couch cushions with him boxing you in with nowhere to move. A thrill of excitement rushes up your spine at the awareness that he never pulled out when moving you. 

He ruts his cock deeper into your fluttering cunt and you whine, hands reaching up to dig into the meat of his shoulders. Groaning, Dante sits back on his haunches, the head of his cock just inside your dripping hole. He humps forward, cock bullying its way inside your cunt. His hands grasp your hips, holding you down against the leather couch. Cunt leaking around his cock, you keen and toss your head back.

“Come on, let’s make this sweet pussy feel good,” he whispers, eyes lit up with mirth. 

Dante slips his hand down between your bodies, resting it across your mound. He rubs his thumb across the hood of your clit, pulling it back slightly to expose the swollen nub. 

“Look at how fat that clit is,” he whistles low, to himself.

He ghosts his fingertips across your clit, little barely there circles on your pudgy bud that has your thighs shaking. Bucking your hips up, you work yourself down onto his cock even further. Grunting at the sudden heat enveloping his dick, Dante pulls halfway out before rocking forward, fucking your pussy in quick strokes.

“Want me to cum in you?” He murmurs. “Stuff this pretty pussy full, have my cum dripping out of you.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, nails scratching at his bare chest. He bites his lip, cock flexing in your cunt. ”Please cum in me, Dante. Please.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll cum in you,” he groans, eyes squeezing shut, cock bullying in and out of your sopping wet cunt. “Don’t gotta ask me twice.”

A breathy chuckle escapes him as he moves his thumb down onto your clit. He plays with the swollen bud, rubbing it until your pussy walls clench down on his dick. Between the way he fucks you open on his cock and the pleasure pooling in your core from how he teases your clit, your orgasm crests violently. Back bowing, your legs clamp around his waist tightly, crying out in pure gratification.

“Good girl,” he coos, fingers pausing to tap on your clit. “Let’s go again.”

You can’t even form words and Dante begins purposefully grinding his cock against the soft spongy spot at the front of your cunt. His fingers don’t let up from tapping and teasing your clit, rubbing the slippery bud lightly enough it’s not too overstimulating. Your body is keyed up and he easily pushes you into another orgasm. 

Your legs spasm and twitch where they rest against his waist. Fireworks explode behind your eyelids, and your ears ring from too much sensation. You almost miss when Dante hits his own peak. Growling, he buries his cock deep inside your soft, wet heat and cums. Rope after rope of his hot, sticky cum spurts inside your clenching hole. You milk his throbbing cock, greedily working more of his thick spend into your pussy.

As you lay there, trying to catch your breath, the shrill ring of a phone pierces the room. Dante grumbles under his breath, pulling away from you with a tired sigh. He slips his cock out of your pussy, eyes tracking the globs of cum oozing from your used hole. Your walls flutter around nothing at his blown out gaze.

“Duty calls,” he gives you a lopsided grin, tucking his softening dick back into his pants. Patting your leg, he climbs up off the couch and walks over to the desk. 

“Devil May Cry,” he answers, phone pressed to his ear. You watch as a frown overcomes his face before it blanks out, lips pressed in a thin line.

“Alright, I’ll be there in ten,” he tosses the receiver back onto the cradle. “Sorry to cut it short, but I gotta run.”

Tossing on his shirt and jacket, he grabs up his weapons while you clamber up onto shaky legs—feeling like a newborn foal. Wincing, you brush down your clothing as well as you can. 

“Yeah, I’ll head on home.”

He follows behind you, making sure to lock his place up once you’re both outside.

“See ya around,” he says with a wink while tipping an imaginary hat at you. 

You shake your head with a smile, “Later, Dante.”

You watch him stroll around the corner before making the short walk to your own place, promising yourself a much needed shower. 

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Is dazzle the cutest?

She most posolutely absotively IS!!!!

[ilovetheelectricmayhem]

Y’all I need some advice, how do you write Dr teeth like specifically his vocabulary like ‘absitively’ ‘posolutely’ and ‘bodalacious’ because I��m writing a fanfic about the mayhem and it’s sorta focuses on teeth and Floyd. I also wrote another fanfic that focused on teeth and I felt like he was out of character the way I wrote his speaking.

[ekvb0]

drawing on my phone is a nightmare but here is dr. teeth, looking posolutely groovilicious as ever 🤘

[siobhanbooks]

xaden to the marked ones post IF

Picture in my head from The Muppets (2011)

Is there more I could've said?

Now they're only pictures in my head

That's why my green is feeling grey

Sometimes even [riders] have rainy days

(To Imogen) Remember when the [mat] caved in

While you were [winning fights]

(To Liam) Who'd have thought your [wood carvings]

Would be hard to live without

If we could do it all again

Just another chance to [fight)

Would anybody [join] or even care

Or did something break we can't repair

(To Bodhi) Your [constant faith in what is right]

It always gave me hope

(To Garrick) They may have been unbearable but

I still loved your jokes

Is there more I could've said?

Now they're only pictures in my head

(To Sloane) Des ferda shun do urg es furn de chicken

This [grumpy mumble] is most posolutely, most transparently bringing me down

One, two, and a half

Could we do it all again

Make 'em [fight] like we did then?

Herniginihurrgelow? Hoo-oo

We could [stand together] for one more [fight]

But I'm standing here instead

Now they're only pictures in my head

[nightmaremp]

Weremayhem: Songs of Beasts.

Ch1: After Rock and Roll All Night

It was a loud night for the mayhem. They had just finished playing at a theater. They were taking photos with some fans until Moog, their number one fan, showed up. He had Lewis and Annie, Teeth’s kids with him. Lewis was ten years old while Annie was just 11 months old.

Lewis looked a lot like Teeth but was different. He had antlers like deer but they were covered with red flowers. His eyes were two different colors. The left eye was a gold yellow color, the sclera of his eye wasn’t white but black as space. The right eye was blood red. Lewis had two teeth sticking out, one going up and the other going down. The tips of his fingers were black and had sharp claws. His arms show a lot of body hair for a ten year old.

His left arm had a scar near his elbow. Lewis had an alligator tail that was covered in blunt orange stripes like a tiger. He was wearing a hoodie since the air would be cold, some blue jeans with a pair of sneakers that were black. Annie is a chubby baby girl. She looks like a clone of Teeth except she has a pink nose. She was sleeping in Moog’s arms. Annie was wrapped in the softest blanket ever.

“Hey dad” said Lewis as he walked up to Teeth, his father. “Hey Lewis, have you too been good for Moog?” asked Teeth. “Of course, dad,” replied his son with a smile. Teeth rough up his son’s hair which causes Lewis to laugh. “Dad! Stop” he said between the laughs. “Alright, take your sister into the van” replied the doc with a smile on his face that showed his gold tooth.

Lewis takes Annie from Moog and heads into the van. Dr. Teeth turns to Moog with his famous smile. “Thank you for taking them, you’re a lifesaver” said the ginger-haired male with a chuckle. “Yeah! No problem! You guys brought the magic as always tonight!” said Moog, he took a breath before continuing. “When you guys added those extra six amps, I thought it was overkill, but you sounded better than ever!” said the black haired male.

“Am I yellin? I’m yellin’, aren’t I?” he asked. “Yes, you are, and you are most welcome” replied Floyd. Animal came over to Moog and showed him a drum cymbal that had a bite taken out of it. “Welcome” said the drummer. “What is this?” asked Moog as he grabbed the drum cymbal from Animal’s hands. “Oh, it’s a cymbal, which is a symbol of our appreciation.” replied Janice with a smile on her face.

“Aww, thank you guys” said Moog with a smile on his face. “I’mma see you in Austin, first rack of ribs is on me. And for Janice, vegan ribs” said the black haired male. The band nodded their heads. “Okay. Well, you have a great night, Moog. Oh! Thank you for watching my kids again” replied Dr. Teeth. “Yeah of course, no problem.” replied Moog with a smile on his face.

“Bye!” said the band with smiles on their faces. Lewis waves Moog from the window which Moog waves back. As Moog was walking away, He accidentally bumped into Nora, who was busy looking at her clipboard. He grabbed her phone and handed it back to her. “Thanks. Did they just give that to you?” asked Nora. “Yeah, it’s no big deal, though,” replied the black haired male. “But also, I’m freakin’ out inside” he chuckles.

“So, do I just go up to them, or-” Nora started to say before Moog cut her off. “I got you,” he said. “Hey guys!” he yelled to the band who were packing their stuff up into the van. “New mayhead newbie comin’ your way.” the black haired male said with a smile on his face. “That’s one way to do it” Nora said in a monotone voice.

Nora walks up to the band. She remembers some of the old clips from the interview she watched that Dr. Teeth didn’t have two scars on his face but when the interview started, she noticed them. One over his right side of his lips and the other over his left eye. “Hi. Excuse me, Mr. Teeth?” she asked. Teeth chuckles before answering her.

“Mr. Teeth is my father. I’m the doctor in the house and most posolutely excited to meet the last groupie of the group.” the doc said with his famous smile. “Not a groupie. I’m actually Nora Singh. CEO of Wax Town Records.” replied Nora. Animal turned his head to the side. “Nora?” he said in a curious tone like a puppy. “Right,” she replied. “Nora” replied the drummer.

“What is happening?” asked Nora Singh in a confused tone. “Nora” Animal said again but in a happy like tone. Kinda like a dog seeing its owner when they get home from work. “I think Animal digs you.” said Floyd before he closed his eyes and chuckled. “I did the Animal as well.” replied the black haired female with a smile. The drummer blinks before Nora turn back to Teeth.

“Anyway, I have business to discuss. Where can we talk?” asked Nora. “Well, step right into our office.” replied the ginger haired male. They all get inside the van. “Welcome to our office,” said Dr. Teeth. Floyd was sitting next to the good doctor. Janice, Zoot, and Lips were sitting behind Nora. “Livin’ the van life, huh? Respect” replied Nora. She looked up and noticed photos on the ceiling of the van.

“Cool photos” Nora said as she pointed at the pictures. Teeth looks up and sees the photos that Zoot had taken. “Mmm, indeed. That’s just our family photo album of our truly faithful fans.” replied Teeth with a smile. Lewis took a peak to see who his dad was talking to and noticed it was some lady. He retreated his head back and put his nose back into his book that Lips got him a few months ago.

Animal’s head popped through the sunroof of the van, he was on top of the van. “Nora,” the drummer said. “Still me” replied Nora. “Nora” replied Animal before he retreated his head back outside of the van. “Anyway, I’m here because it’s come to my attention that back in the 70s, you took a hefty advance from us to record your first album.” said the black haired female.

“Oh! And what an album” replied Floyd with his hand on his chest. “It truly is the greatest achievement of my lifetime” replied the doc. “It doesn’t exist,” replied Nora.

Teeth’s mouth opened in shock at this news. “There is no album,” she said. Janice, Zoot, and Lips look at each other. Floyd blinks his eyes a quick few times. Lewis’ eyes got wide. His dad and the band never made an album? He couldn’t believe it. “Well, then, it is the greatest disappointment of my lifetime.” replied Dr. Teeth, a bit sad. “The good news is, it’s not too late because I have a plan to make it happen fast,” replied Nora with a smile on her face. “Well, right now” replied the good doctor with joy. Lips said something but you couldn’t understand him because he mumbles. It sounded like the trumpet playing said “Mama, papa.”

“Totally” replied Janice. “We’ll hop to it as soon as the tour ends.” replied Teeth. “But your tours never end.” replied Nora. “So, either make the album or you could always pay back your advance of $420,000.” she said. “Whoa! That’s a big number” replied Floyd in shock. “Anyone remember where all that went?” asked Dr. Teeth nervously.

“It says here. The check was cashed by a Mr. Zootowiski.” replied Nora as she held up the check. Lips and Janice looked at Zoot, who was in the middle. “I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.” replied Zoot as he held his hand up with one finger up. “Memory’s a little hazy,” said Dr. Teeth. Lewis chuckles a bit, Zoot always says the funniest things out of nowhere. “Ooh! I know. We’ll just pay you back in groove.” said the blonde female with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s not an actual form of currency.” Nora replied while looking at janice. “Yet.” replied Floyd as he pointed his finger. Janice and Nora look at the red haired male in silence for a few seconds. “Okay.” replied the black haired female. “So then-” before she could finish what she was saying, the doc cut her off.

“Then the album it is.” replied Teeth with a smile on his face. “It is?” said Nora in shock. “It is. Great. Perfect.” replied Nora with a smile on her face. “Well, please contact me when you get into town and we can put my plan into action,” she said. “Onward to the City of Angels” said Dr. Teeth as he looks at Floyd. “We’ll crash with a friend and lay it all down” replied the doc.

Nora gets out before the band takes off. “Nora” said Animal as he looked out the sunroof as the van drove off. She waves. Nora does a fist pump before heading to her car.

As the van drives on the road, Lewis looks over to his dad. “Hey dad” said the ginger haired boy. “Yes, son?” replied Teeth as he drove. “Who was that woman?” he asked. “That is Nora. She is going to help us get our first album” replied the doc. “Oh? Neat” replied Lewis before going back to his book which was Jurassic Park. He enjoys this book so much that he can’t wait to get the Lost World one.

[gaystan]

"absitively posolutely"

their spelling is the least of my concerns i’m gonna be honest

[posolutions1]

POSolutions

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[donttalkaboutmemes]

Oliver & Company (1988) Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 100+ sentences from the 1988 version of Oliver & Company to use for your enjoyment!      

1.      “Come on, sweetheart. We’re late. You can play with the kitty some other time.”

2.      “Get off of me! What’s the matter with you?”

3.      “You sure picked the wrong guy to get hot dogs from, kid.”

4.      “I’ve been watching you and I think you’re in serious need of some professional guidance.”

5.      “Hey, it’d be a snap, kid. I’m an expert at these things.”

6.      “This city’s got a beat. You gotta hook into it, and once you get the beat you can do anything.”

7.      “Absitively posolutely.”

8.      “Our mission is to liberate those all-beef kosher franks and hightail it out of there.”

9.      “Starting to feel that rhythm?”

10.   “Hey, you really got that rhythm, kid.”

11.   “Listen, kid, I hate to break it to you but the dynamic duo is now the dynamic uno.”

12.   “What I mean is our partnership is herewith dissolved.”

13.   “But wait! Wait! You’re not being fair.”

14.   “Fairs are for tourists, kid.”

15.   “Consider it a free lesson in street savoir faire.”

16.   “You want them? Come and get them.”

17.   “Stop that racket! I’m trying to watch the show!”

18.   “Whatcha watching? Does he get the girl? What happens?”

19.   “Shut up, you little rodent.”

20.   “It’s none of your business you intrusive little pipsqueak!”

21.   “You insulted my pride! That means death!”

22.   “You remain our pre-eminent benefactor.”

23.   “Did you have to fight, man? How many were there?”

24.   “I love a story with food in it.”

25.   “You’re dead meat, kitty.”

26.   “I kind of like those burning eyes.”

27.   “I don’t think you grasp the severity of the situation.”

28.   “I lent you money and I don’t see it. Do you know what happens when I don’t see my money?”

29.   “People get hurt. People like you get hurt. Do I make myself clear?”

30.   “I can’t figure out why you’d rather hang around a dump like this when you could be living uptown with a class act like myself.”

31.   “Isn’t is rather dangerous to use ones entire vocabulary in a single sentence?”

32.   “You got something to say to me, fat boy?”

33.   “You guys don’t scare me. I’ll kill you both.”

34.   “Why don’t you pick on someone your size?”

35.   “Is this us losing our sense of humor?”

36.   “Nah, I ain’t lost my sense of humor. See? I find that funny.”

37.   “Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days.”

38.   “Run along. Your masters calling.”

39.   “We ain’t finished. You guys are gonna pay for this.”

40.   “Those creeps will think twice before hassling us.”

41.   “Three days. How am I ever gonna come up with all that money?”

42.   “I’ll never get out from under that maniac.”

43.   “My days are numbered and the number is three.”

44.   “That took a lot of guts.”

45.   “Time for bed. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

46.   “This is the big one. We’ve got two days to do or die.”

47.   “You keep an eye on the new kid. Show him the ropes.”

48.   “What kind of work do we do, anyways?”

49.   “When you got your pals, you got all you need.”

50.   “We gotta clean you up, child, and give you some on-the-job training.”

51.   “I know. My public awaits.”

52.   “Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll be here for your birthday.”

53.   “Why don’t you be a lookout, man?”

54.   “You were supposed to keep an eye on him.”

55.   “It’s hard to watch anything when you’re getting barbequed, man.”

56.   “We can’t just take in a stray off the street.”

57.   “Look at the poor thing. He’s half-starved.”

58.   “I know you’re growing attached to the little fellow.”

59.   “Rise and shine. Your public awaits.”

60.   “Wait til you taste this. It’s a secret recipe I just invented.”

61.   “Oh, aren’t you a clever kitty?”

62.   “I’m sure you two are gonna be the best of friends.”

63.   “We can’t let the kid take the heat.”

64.   “IF we don’t get him, they’re gonna torture the kid.”

65.   “He’s family. He’s blood.”

66.   “Oh, man! He’s dead meat now!”

67.   “I’ll handle that ruffian.”

68.   “This place looks pretty nice. How bad off could it be here?”

69.   “If this is torture, chain me to the wall.”

70.   “We’re here for the kid, remember? Let’s get him and go.”

71.   “You’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m not you I’m after.”

72.   “What’s the problem? Not good enough for you?”

73.   “Do you even know who I am?”

74.   “How stupid of me! You must be the friends he keeps talking about.”

75.   “There’ no time for long goodbyes, but here’s something to remember me by.”

76.   “I think she likes me, man.”

77.   “I was happy there.”

78.   “We brought you home.”

79.   “Well, I have another home now. And someone who loves me.”

80.   “The gang means family.”

81.   “We risked a lot to get you out of there.”

82.   “This place not good enough for you anymore? Don’t wanna mix with the riffraff?”

83.   “You want to leave? Fine. There’s the door.”

84.   “You loved him too. Don’t worry. We’re going to get him back.”

85.   “What do you mean? You start with the knuckles.”

86.   “What’s the last thing you do? You put on the cement shoes.”

87.   “I think there’s hope for you yet.”

88.   “This is your last chance.”

89.   “Stay close. It’s creepy down here.”

90.   “Listen, little girl, this is a tough neighborhood. You’d better go home.”

91.   “Keep your mouth shut. Consider our account closed.”

92.   “Don’t cry. They only eat when I tell them to.”

93.   “Hey, hey, hey! There is a lady present!”

94.   “Well! It’s nice to see that one of you has some manners.”

95.   “I don’t think you really appreciate the situation. Somebody could get hurt.”

96.   “This has all been very entertaining, but the party is over.”

97.   “You’re ugly! And you’re uglier than him!”

98.   “Don’t forget to make a wish.”

99.   “You know, you’re not so bad for a bug-eyed little creep.”

100. “Hey, woah kid! You think you can handle the champ?”

101. “We’ll keep a spot open for you in the gang. Vice president, uptown chapter.”

102.  “What a delightful scoundrel.”

[cheezit-reality]

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

Absitively Posolutely

[9w1ft]

I would really love to see more karlie on the runway! Especially in the more theatrical ones like Galliano's work (from Dior and the latest Maison Margiela!). She's made for those types of shows 😍

absitively posolutely

[triviavanillesimp]

Absotively, posolutely adorable

Drawing traditionally at work. Figuring out some things for my art and used Neo as my test subject. More to come in the near future.

[ohblackdiamond]

🥺 🛒 please, they look like fun and interesting questions

absitively posolutely!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

oh, gosh, yes. the awkward conversations between two people who have nothing and everything to say to each other, where even the small talk has a not-so-subtle tension running through it. i like the build up to a release of pent-up feelings, whether it's sexual or not. that moment when the facade gets stripped away, and the real, raw emotion comes to the surface... that's golden. worth all the tea in china.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

growing older and obsolete, struggling with fading looks/fortunes, dealing with regret and longing for the past. the hurt of betrayals. unstated and/or barely-stated feelings. even in stories set in the seventies, there's always that specter of falling off the charts and losing glory looming just behind. that's not to say it's all aimed at being depressing, and certainly isn't me trying to make a broad statement about the band. it's just what interests me to write about.

i probably end up using the same or similar imagery way too often without realizing it. i dunno. i like animal imagery. i think i've used a crab comparison more than once (exposing the soft insides = exposing paul's insecurities), and stuff about grease glistening on a burger....

thank you for the ask!! really made me think.

[roller-rink-haruno]

Can I see puppy pictures? Please? 🥺

Absotively posolutely!

Enjoy this photo of Ajax in his pajamas. He was very tired. 🥲

[gaystan]

actually i genuinely no joke totally absitively posolutely sincerely believe that, were i to see mcau cartman's drag thirst traps, with absolutely no knowledge of who he was and what he has done, i would find them sexy. i say this completely seriously with no joking intent, no /j, completely /srs, totally cereal. mcau cartman's one redeeming trait, the one good thing he adds to the world, is his drag traps.

YOU’RE INSANE