#Peb is so grateful

[liminalpebble]

I've been a fanfic writer for one year! 🥳🥳🥳

My darlings, my dears, my sweet naughty little cookies and crumpets,

Tomorrow will mark exactly one year since I posted my very first chapter of my very first fic (The Refugee) with shaking hands. I was so nervous to release this thing I loved and labored over so much into the world.

@lokisgoodgirl very kindly and patiently showed me all the ropes and was such a steadfast cheerleader from day one. (I'm so grateful for you, darling). She also opened the door for me to meet all of you incredibly sweet people. When I tell you that you've changed my life, I am not exaggerating. You gave me a place where I am appreciated and belong and can be my very odd self, and that's a rare thing.

Anyway, The Refugee became an absolute behemoth. I had a big complicated world in my head, and its characters and plot lines and themes volleyed around my skull at all times. I didn't expect anyone to be enthralled or obsessed with it like I was, but SO many of you gave it so much love and engagement and time. A year later, that piece is still my magnum opus, and your reception of it has given me a feeling I'm not often good at letting myself have...pride.

I'm a weird little mentally ill perfectionist of a person, trying very hard to be more than that...to be brave, and clever, and hard-working, and adventurous, and kind, and generous and grateful. I want more than anything in life, to create things and experiences that mean something. I want to create art and send it out into the world like a love letter. It's the best of myself and I want you to have it. Thank you for taking the time to see the best of me (especially when I have trouble seeing it for myself). Thank you so so much. I love you all so much and I hope this year gives you as much joy as you've given me.

All my love,

Peb

@acidcasualties @lokischambermaid @mischief2sarawr @holdmytesseract @infinitystoner @smolvenger @tripleyeeet @take-everything-you-can @leelei1980 @unlucky-number-13 @unfocused81 @sweetsigyn @veemoon @loz-3 @little-wormwood @littlespaceyelf @glitchquake @viv-annelore @peachyjinx @gigglingtiggerv2 @marcotheflychair @mochie85 @muddyorbs @sailorholly @holymultiplefandomsbatman @thedistractedagglomeration @hellfirenacht @thenerdyoldersister @alexakeyloveloki @lemongingerart @eddiethehunted @fanfic-collection @girl-next-door-writes @fictive-sl0th @mischiefmaker615 @icytrickster17 @ladyofthestayingpower @goblingirlsarah @chokeanddagger @loopsisloops @slutty-thevampireslayer @coldnique @eddies-house @fairyysoup @jennyggggrrr @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @elegantkoalapaper @raccoonboywrites

[spotsupstuff]

heck i really just want to say how much i love the sibling dynamic of pebbles to moon, he’s like the independent kid who dislikes being nagged and cringes at affection, also doesnt show if he’a grateful for something easily because *pride* and gets embarrassed easily lol, yet if there’s somebody else that’s worse he straight up hides behind the said person(moon) he just pushed off of and ultimately cares for her in a more secluded way anyway. The vibe may be bits inaccurate but it’s how it felt after reading the comic of innocence high hipping pebbles and other arts

YEAH ITS LIKE the main idea i have of what's going on is that he was very forced to have everything spinning around Moon. he exists to help Her, his place has Her culture instead of developing its own (that makes him as a culture nerd disappointed and annoyed), he was set up to choose Her as his mentor, they share certain supplies, in my thing he is even Identified under her acronym n tag on the map

so he feels nasty as hell about that. he wants to get away, prove that he's more than just a complex supportive organ and a fool Moon needs to lead, so when it comes to Big Defining things he pushes her away

but the thing is that Moon is *nice.* she geniunely loves him. and when someone geniunely loves you it's kind of hard to stay mad at them 24/7- after all! even though she doesn't really approve of Suns in the position of a mentor, she never tried complaining about Pebs' decision to take Them as his mentor (even though maybe she should have)!! he has his own free will to act on and she respects that unlike the Ancients

so what he does is that!!! if it's something he can argue benefits more Him, if he can hide behind that, he will silently love her back. like asking her about the history she has seen for the sake of broadening his reference pool in research (a tiny little silent "i want to listen to you talk for a bit, let's spend some time together?"), challenging her to race at who gets simulations and such done faster ("we get to laugh as we run at the hip with each other in the only way we really can- i think that sounds quite nice. would you be up for it?")... if it helps putting him higher, he's doing it. but he also kind of comes off as a prideful selfish asshole as a result. plus what u said- i really like that he'd hate bein nagged at and open physical affection. this man is a handshake kind of kid. suit constantly on, kind of boy. arms behind the back, lookin fly n serious kind of man

but Yeah then there's these moments where when he doesn't really wanna deal with smth or is legit uncomfortable/scared and he hides behind Moon because he subconsciously knows she will have his back and protect him as long as he's hiding no matter what's happening (except maybe against large centipedes she hates those. that's when She hides behind Him). it's that silent sibling™ understanding

[lesservillain]

Ahhh! I've missed you, you legend! Good to see you again. On the Outside was such a beautiful perfect thing. I'm sure it was a labor of love and I'm so grateful to you for writing it. Thank you! Can't wait to read more of your work ❤️🖤❤️

Much love!

Peb

hi peb!!! missed you too sweets!!!

I'm glad you loved On the Outside! I'm currently working on remastering the first two parts to eventually reupload, so keep an eye out for it! It's already like 3 times as long as the original so it's going to be a labor of love but I hope everyone will enjoy it all the same : )

[peblezq]

Pebs I know you definitely don’t care but I need you to know that page 306 of Little Lavender is my favourite page

(I’m rereading it for probably the 7th time lmao)

I absolutely DO CARE

I'm grateful that you enjoy my book (:

(Runs to grab a copy to see what was on that page)

Ah yes. The pain, the drama. The love. The one line in particular where John is so overcome with emotions that he just grabs Alexander's coat collar and pulls him into a passionate kiss, unable to say in words how much he means to him. I love that part especially.

[journeydb]

August 25 2021 Methuen

One of my best and longest friends is Patricia Ellen Barden Murphy, nicknamed Peb for her initials when she was a child.  We met when our family moved back to Wilmington from Ohio when I was ten and entering the fifth grade.  I heard there was a girl my age living across the street so I went to her house to meet her and we have been friends now for 61 years.

We went to elementary school, junior high school, and high school together.  We both married our high school sweethearts and endured years of abuse from them before divorcing them.  Peb had two beautiful daughters with Bob but I didn’t have children with Keith, for which I’m grateful.

Peb’s little girls, Keri and Heather have grown up to be responsible, intelligent, caring women with families of their own.  Peb was a single mother and devoted her life to her daughters and she is a marvelous grandmother, adored by her grandkids.

Peb remarried and her marriage to Jim was fraught with animosity from his family and the responsibility of caring for him when he got cancer, which eventually took his life.  She was a loyal and loving wife to Jim and I know she misses him still.  Her daughters and grandchildren are the main source of joy in her life.

Our families were close when we were young, being neighbors and friends, and her siblings were also friends with some of my siblings.  Her brothers Lee and Ted and her sisters Eve and Joyce were close and supportive of one another through Life’s trials and tribulations.  Eve, the oldest, on the right in the photo above, died last year and left behind a big family which misses her greatly.

The Barden family reunion several years ago when the grandkids were little kids.  Now many of them have grown into teenagers.

I haven’t been able to see Peb often since I moved to Colorado 45 years ago but every year when I go back to New England I do my best to get together with her.  A couple of years ago I had lunch with her and a high school friend, Linda, and today we had lunch at the Irish Cottage here in Methuen, because it was close to where she lives in Pelham, New Hampshire.

We sat outside on the patio and reminisced about our childhoods, discussed our families, the state of the world today, and our hopes and dreams for what remains of our lives.  We laughed a lot, as we always do, and we cried a little, too.  I love my dear friend a lot and I’m happy to have made the effort to keep our friendship alive over so many years.

I met our nephew Randy, our brother Rod’s son, for dinner at the Brick House Center Sports Bar and Grill in Chelmsford.  I was hoping to see his wife Colleen and daughters, Brynn and Maeve, as well but they had a prior commitment.  I always enjoy being with Randy and he reminds me more of his father all the time.  They both have a wry sense of humor and they are both completely committed to their families.  Randy’s job is going well and he enjoys working mostly from home, so the pandemic didn’t cramp his style much.

 Brynn and Maeve will be going back to high school in person in September, and Brynn is happy about it, since she is very involved in after school activities, especially basketball.

Maeve, who is a bit shy, preferred learning from home, even though it was more challenging academically for her.  She enjoys riding horses and being with her cat and would just as soon study from home, where she can go at her own pace.  They have grown up so much and will be on their own sooner than we know. 

[ask--kirp]

Oh do not Worry! Not much an Advert-isment drone would be able to do, not that i would want to hurt you, Marcus. You may call me Advert or The Lovely Advert, I Am just bored and lonely, So i Found a way to contact interesting creatures as yourself. Where did you go on your first date? -Sent by The Lovely Advert

Well, I suppose that is a relief..bored and lonely hm? Heh, I understand that all too well, but I’m sure everyone has at least once in their lifetime. And you actually aren’t the first person to call me interesting, thats not always a good thing in my case though haha..In this context though, I’ll take it as a compliment!

Our first date? Oh man, where do I even begin?~

Peb was the one who planned the first part of our date. We both went to see a movie called..’Gorpy?’ I think thats what it was called. Gorpy was your standard alien invasion film, except apparently I, or more accurately their version of ‘The Mothman’, would be making an appearance in the film. Obviously we had to see this for ourselves. 

The film was AWFUL. But I think it was a good kind of awful, since were both giggling at how bad it was. I don’t remember much from what the plot actually was, only that their portrayal of aliens was so inaccurate that it hurt and that The Mothman flew away to space to fight an entire fleet of aliens. That was fun.

After the movie was over, I took Peb to a special part of the forest. It was night outside by this point, which was perfect for what I wanted to show her. We kept walking for a little while until I heard a familiar little ‘Fwee!’

Lo and behold, a little Mispfolk came fluttering towards me. I’m certain you are wondering who the Mispfolk are yes? To be brief, they are luminescent shapeshifters who take the forms of lights flickering in and out of the sky. As far as I know, the Mispfolk do not speak any human language, or well-maybe they do speak English and are just playing a prank. It wouldn’t be above them to so; Mispfolk are as mischievous as they are mysterious. 

I initially became aware of their existence after hearing a shrill scream while walking in the forest. I investigated the scene to see an adolescent Sheepsquatch terrorizing the poor things. When I told the kid to back off he got angry and tried shooting his quills at me..He seemed pretty confident in his attack, right up until he realized the quills hadn’t even pierced my skin. He got really pale after that.

I made him apologize to the Mispfolk and sent him back on his way home to his mother. Apparently, the Mispfolk were so grateful for my help deterring a teenage hooligan that they wrote a little message for me saying that they’d be more than happy to let me watch their nightly dances as repayment for helping them. 

I had their offer at the back of my mind for the longest time, but never did anything with it since I didn’t want to trouble them. That is, until Pebbles and I decided to plan our first date together. I remember I had wanted to surprise Peb with something unique and beautiful after everything she’d done for me. I admittedly spent a lot of nights mulling over ideas. None of them were good enough for her in my eyes and I was getting frustrated..then I remembered the Mispfolk.

And so, we watched their show that night..

The rest of the night turned out just as beautiful as I had hoped for.

And yet, as talented and spectacular as the Mispfolk were; in all their beauty and grandeur…

They were not the most beautiful thing I had seen that night.

[moonmoonbiin]

Bam Bam’s twin sister part 17!

                                                                                                                                 The early morning atmosphere of the LA airport was quiet, and not nearly as busy as it had been when when we arrived. It's nearing 6:30 in the morning as the boys walk with me to my gate. I'll be leaving a good two hours before them, my bag along with Tai have already been loaded on the belt to be put on the plane.

I hold Mark's hand as we walk, and Bam Bam is on he other side of me with the rest of the boys around us. It's quiet, like the airport. It seems as if it's too early to hold any proper conversation and I don't want this moment to end. The last week has been so wonderful... Even though Bam Bam seems to know just how to grate my nerves, I will miss him tremendously. And Mark... I hate having to say goodbye to him, especially now that we just got together. I'll miss the rest of the boys, too...

We stop at my gate. There's ten minutes until it closes so I don't have all the time in the world. I glance around at the boys with a sad expression, and Mark let's go of my hand as Yugyeom steps up to hug me.

"I'm glad you got to come," he tells me.

I laugh, hugging him back. "Me too. Thanks for playing with me, I had a lot of fun."

"Me too!" He grins as he leans back. "Make sure to change my name in your phone!" He winks to me.

Youngjae hugs me next, promising to send me updated photos of Coco. Jinyoung is after him, and he promises me that he'll keep Bam Bam in line while I'm not there. Jaebum steps up next, a huge grin on his face and I have a feeling that he's going to tease me, but instead he just says, "have a nice flight, Little Sis." Jackson is crying dramatically by the time he hugs me. He has me in a tight grip and rocks us back and forth.

"Jacks," I manage to wheeze out with a laugh. "You're hugging me too tight!"

"I'm going to miss you so much!" He cries even more dramatically. "I'll make sure to keep sending you embarrassing pics of Bam Bam," he whispers in my ear before leaning back and kissing my cheek.

I turn to Bam Bam, who seems to be pouting and hold out my arms to him. "Come on, Bam Bam," I grin at him.

He sighs before hugging me tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, Pebbles."

"I'm going to miss you, too," I tell him honestly.  Being a twin is so strange, I'm not sure if the pain I'm feeling is mine, Bam's, or both of ours together.

"Make sure you tell Mom that I love her and I'll call soon," he tells me. "And you had best call whenever you land, too!" He tells me sternly.

"I will," I promise with a smile.

We finally depart and then there's only one left... Mark holds out his hand to me and I take it as I step closer to him. He turns his face and raises his eyebrow and as I follow his gaze I see Jackson standing just a few feet away from us, his eyes wide and a huge grin on his face.

"Do you mind?" Mark asks.

"What?" Jackson just continues to grin as he looks back and forth between us. "Go ahead!"

Bam Bam sighs loudly, and grabs Jackson's wrists, forcing him to follow the others as they go wait for their gate to open.

I giggle softly as I listen to Jackson whine, but Bam Bam isn't letting him go and I appreciate that.

"I hope your flight goes well," Mark tells me.

"Yours too," I say. "I think you guys will land an hour before I will," I tell him with a pout. It really wasn't fair... I was leaving first but they would still land before me.

"Well I like it, that way I'll be able to take your call when you call me," he smiles.

I smile back, but I can't help but feel so sad... "I don't want to tell you goodbye," I whisper. After this week with him, I don't want to be away from him...

"You don't have to tell me goodbye," Mark wraps me up in a hug. "You can just tell me, 'see you later', because we'll see each other soon."

"I hope so..." I mumbled.

"Hey now... we got Skype, and phone calls and texts, there won't be a day that I'm not talking to you... Plus, I think everyone is suppose to meet up like Christmas like we did that one year."

I can't help but beam at that, my excitement growing. Christmas is still a good few months away, but at least I'll have a date to countdown to.

An announcement rings up above that my gate is about to close and Mark sighs, his grip tightening on me slightly. He kisses me, just as soft as he did the other night but there's more passion in this one, like he's trying to make the kiss last until we see each other again.

We pull away with sad smiles and I can feel him watching me as I turn to walk onto my gate. My heart is still thudding from the kiss but it also feels so heavy... Christmas cannot come soon enough...

One Year Later

I giggle as I watch the boys antics on the VLive app. The boys had just started it a few minutes ago, and it was mostly just them being silly. My eyes couldn't help but focus on Mark as he sits on a chair next to Jaebum and laughs at something Youngjae says. I glance up, happy to see that I've made it at the right destination. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I reach up and give the door a few knocks. I can hear the echo of them on the app.

"Who's here?" Jackson asks.

"Mark Hyung, you answer it," Bam Bam tells him.

"Why do I have to get it?" Mark mutters and I can't help but grin. Oh, if only he knew who was on the other side...

"Cause you're the closes," Jaebum tells him. "Just get it..."

"Fine," Mark grumbles, starting to stand up and my stomach starts to knot as he walks closer. Any second now he'll open the door and I'll see him for the first time in months!

I hear the doorknob start to move and I put my phone up as I wait... Mark opens the door and it takes him a few seconds to realize it's me. His eyes widen as his gaps, "Little One...?"

I can hear Bam Bam and Jaebum giggling loudly at everyone's surprised faces. They were the only ones I told about my arrival.

"Hi!" I raise my hand and wave. "I'm Y/N, and I just moved into an apartment a few blocks down the street. I don't really know my way around here, would you mind helping me?"

"YOU MOVED HERE?!" Jackson was screeching, squeezing as close as he could beside Mark.

"Yes," I chuckle, glancing up at Mark. "I live here in Korea now, too... Surprise!"

A huge smile breaks across his face, and it's just a few seconds later that he has me in his arms. "I'm so happy!"

"I have a feeling that it's about to get a lot more interesting around here..." Bam Bam told the VLive app with a huge grin.

Yugyeom snickers, "this is gonna be fun..."

"We got to go out now!" Jinyoung announces. "It's a celebration!"

"Yes," Mark nods happily, resting his forehead against mine. "We've definitely got to celebrate."

"Here," Bam Bam gives the phone to Youngjae before he runs to Mark and me and squeezes between us. "I've missed you too, Pebs! Did everything get moved in, okay? Sorry I couldn't come to help."

"Yep! Everything went smoothly," I tell Bam. "And you actually kept me moving here a secret, I'm quite surprised," I tease.

"Hey!" He pouts before throwing an arm around my shoulders as Mark wraps one of his arms around my waists. "Are we going out or not?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jaebum nods. "Let's get going."

"Y/N, I'm so happy you're here now," Jackson was bouncing in excitement. "It's going to be so much fun! We're going to have so many sleepovers and-"

I can't help but laugh as Jackson continues to go on in excitement with Yugyeom and Bam Bam cutting in. I lean against Mark as I hear Youngjae laughing as he finished the VLive. "Thanks for hanging out with us. That's all from us for now. See you next time!"

"You'll have to show me your apartment soon," Mark leans down to whisper to me.

I grin up at him, "I say we ditch the guys later on tonight and then I can give you a private tour."

"I like the sound of that," he chuckles as we start to leave.

[Part 16] 

A/N: I just want to say thank you to everyone who followed this series and everyone who enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! I’ve had this idea in my head for sometime now, though it was a lot different before I got serious about writing it. Thanks for sticking through to the end with me... I’ll have plenty more stories coming up so I hope to see you guys there too! 

Xoxo, K 

[liminalpebble]

Mental illness and neurodivergence is so fucking hard.

Mental illness and neurodivergence with a public-facing one-man-show type of job is fucking exhausting...

... and heartbreaking, because I want to bring every ounce of optimism and empathy and skill I'm capable of, and I always feel like it's more fake and feeble than I mean for it to be. I'm barely holding it together, but I'm scary good at hiding it.

I put on my war paint and smile and try to remember everything with a rickety brain that sorely needs a medication adjustment (which I will get soon...FINALLY), and I fall apart later. I know I do good in the world. I bring people joy and knowledge and purpose. (Exactly what this work also gives me on the good days). But the cost is staggering sometimes. It frequently smacks me right to the ground.

And this is the only place I feel comfortable expressing the truth of this. So here the fuck we are. Thank you for just being here to witness it. I just want to tell what it really feels like, because I don't want other people like me to feel alone. I also don't want to feel alone, of course. But if you feel this way too...know that I'm hugging you very tightly and telling you we'll make it and I have cookies for you.

I'm a fighter. Im fighting to remember that my students give me hugs, and kisses, and flowers, and gifts, and cookies, and coffee, and so much love and gratitude. That there are pure perfect moments where everything works. I'm always blown away by that, and so grateful...always grateful...even when I'm so tired.

Anyway. I love you.

Peb 💜

[liminalpebble]

Hello my beautiful naughty little cookies and crumpets,

I am in the final throes of this month-long move (or at least the phase where all our stuff is gonna be all at the new place. Unpacking will be, well, another whole thing).

I would really love a little "get help" to bolster me through it if you feel up to it. I love you all. I'm blessed to have you. I'm gonna make it through this week (I repeat to myself over and over). It's also my first week working at a new location, so wish me luck!

Also, I apologize that all my writing has been languishing on the backburner. I promise you I haven't forgotten any of those pieces and do intend to finish them. I'm grateful for your patience and support. Btw, your fabulous writing has been a welcome reprive and comfort through all of this, especially, @gigglingtiggerv2 and @darkficsyouneveraskedfor specifically. You are magically talented, friends.

Much love, deep breaths,

Peb 💜 🪨

@ladyofthestayingpower @acidcasualties @loopsisloops @goblingirlsarah @coldnique @azula-karai-27 @glitchquake @loz-3 @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @marcotheflychair @joejoequinnquinn @take-everything-you-can @leelei1980 @sweetsigyn @alexakeyloveloki @elegantkoalapaper @holdmytesseract @thedistractedagglomeration @thenerdyoldersister @josephfakingquinn @hellfirenacht @little-wormwood @littlespaceyelf @lemongingerart @somnambulic-thing @sunnythevampireslayer @morby @leelei1980 @tripleyeeet @smolvenger @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @reidsbtch @jennyggggrrr @lokischambermaid @anukulee

[liminalpebble]

Happy Thanksgiving, folks.

While I don't agree with the colonialist horseshit wrapped up with this holiday, I am in favor of a day dedicated to cooking, eating, lazing about, being with the people you care about and (shocking for Americans) appreciating what you already have and focusing on gratitude.

It's my second favorite American holiday after, of course, Halloween.

Anyway...I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful to live in a time and place in history that allows me to stay connected with you in ways previous generations couldn't even dream of. I love having this community of beautiful souls, imagining together.

Thank you for all the stories you've given me. Thank you for reading mine and playing pretend with me. Thank you for all the likes and shares and comments and follows and rallying around me for silly imaginary gatherings. And I have to give honorable mention for how enormously you've all built me up during some of my hardest times and made everything so much better.

I'm lucky. I'm so lucky and so grateful. It's amazing to exist. It's amazing to have a comfortable life and the things I need and a lot of the things I want. It's amazing to have good people and experiences with me on the journey. To be able to hug people during the brief time in which we share the planet (or even just to hug you digitally).

It's amazing to have this nice coffee, and a warm sweater, and a cookie, and hot running water, and electricity, and hundreds of movies and books and stories and lessons at my fingertips whenever I want them.

It's amazing to be alive to experience annoyances, and sorrow, and grief, and anxiety, and bad days, and survive them, because...hey...I'm still here, and that's one in the eye for death. That's amazing. You're amazing too. Thank you for being with me. You've all been so kind to me. You've changed my life for the better.

Much love,

Peb

P.S. Black Friday, that horrendous Wario of Thanksgiving, can go right back to the depths of retail hell where it crawled up from. I worked too many Black Fridays in my life...never again. It's unbearbly stupid to trample people in a frenzy of greed mere hours after a day dedicated to gratitude for what you already have.

@sweetsigyn @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @smolvenger @muddyorbs @mochie85 @coldnique @little-wormwood @littlespaceyelf @goblingirlsarah @anukulee @loopsisloops @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @holdmytesseract @holymultiplefandomsbatman @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @thedistractedagglomeration @thenerdyoldersister @slutty-thevampireslayer @leelei1980 @josephfakingquinn @unfocused81 @unlucky-number-13 @mischief2sarawr @mischiefmaker615 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @jennyggggrrr @loz-3 @lokihiddleston @marcotheflychair @fairyysoup @granuaile-slore @gigglingtiggerv2 @aesonmae @acidcasualties @alexakeyloveloki @veemoon @hellfirenacht @lemongingerart @sarahscribbles @take-everything-you-can @sailorholly @eleniblue @elegantkoalapaper @tripleyeeet @textsfromthetva @ladyofthestayingpower @fictive-sl0th @the-haven-of-fiction

[liminalpebble]

My dear friends,

I start my last semester at my job this week before my campus closes after Christmas. The days are numbered. I have 14 weeks. I love this space. I love the work I do. I love my students. This is going to be a very painful long goodbye, and the clock starts ticking tomorrow.

I'm trying so hard to stay positive and grateful that I've had this for some years now...and that I will still have it a bit longer. I'm trying to absolutely make the most of every ounce of it. I'm trying to keep my chin up, but...whew. I could just use a little extra love right now.

I've built this body of irl work over the years, mostly on my own, with trial and error and practice and study and blood, sweat, and tears. And I have 14 weeks to wrap all that up, try to take it with me, and build again.

I know nothing is wasted. I know it mattered. I know I will figure it out, and I know I'm being sad and whiny right now. But I think I just need to be allowed be not strong about it for a minute, in this little void, and admit that I'm heartbroken and change is hard.

And usually writing here is my joy. It's what saves me from how terrifying life is, but I'm even having trouble writing well at the moment. I worry that I'm disappointing those of you who read and are so kind and supportive of my work. I just don't know where to put all these thoughts and feels, so here they are.

Thanks for listening. You're lovely for listening, and read, and messaging, and just basically giving me hope in humanity as a whole by being lovely people. Thank you.

Peb

@muddyorbs @lokischambermaid @littlespaceyelf @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @unlucky-number-13 @acidcasualties @ladyofthestayingpower @peaches1958 @gigglingtiggerv2 @goblingirlsarah @smolvenger @lemongingerart @tripleyeeet @holdmytesseract @thedistractedagglomeration @peacefulpianist @marcotheflychair @holymultiplefandomsbatman @itsfreakingbats @fanfic-collection @infinitystoner @unfocused81 @sailorholly @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @alexakeyloveloki @sweetsigyn

[spotsupstuff]

Hows Nish n the gang doing in your post mass-ascension off the string au?

there's so many aus by so many people for the canon iterators with this premise that i haven't thought about what would be happening with them in my stuff gjklsdmcksdklg i figured everyone else has it covered enough i guess

HMM... do i have something that would be 100% canon if i ever tried poking the canon Iterators with th- yes Suns is a fucking Dead (sayonara, cunt)

aight joking but their chances of legit survival are pretty low. might actually let them go offline but before that i Would rather like for them and Pebbles to have a conversation. so Pebs can yell at them for being a horrible mentor and sibling cuz i'll never have enough of Pebbles hating on Suns. he is So valid to do that, go child i love you

Nish is going to come out of his stuffy chamber and into Risio and yell into the sky out of pure joy, definitely. then proceed to get snatched by a vulture and next figure out how to get Unsnatched by a vulture very quickly in the midst of shitting himself silly. next thing on his to-do list would be throwing himself into a bog

oh! with Tinktink/Sparrows giving a solid place for the au in the timeline, this would happen before Hunter would be sent out. so Nish would be making that journey *with* his bewoved scug daughter n since he'd be the one carrying the neuron, Hunter might not even end up with the Rot! so Those two are okay, gods bless ough <3

they make their way first to Pebbles n Pebs would be already off his string and probably very much frozen on what to do now, more or less stuck in his chamber still. the father-daughter duo enter, Nish gets to yell at Pebs, Pebs gets to have his well-deserved emotional breakdown, Nish is a good elder brother so he thinks on it a lil n figures that holding onto this bitterness over going over and hugging Pebs is a Grade S bullshit and from there they make their way to Moon

and revive her together

which like... Shit that's gettin me good.. they do it together.....

cue confused to hell and back Moon, grateful Moon, and hugged Moon. both of these two dumbasses would hug her so hard, good stars above

they proceed to figure out how to help her out with her memory problems and how to help her get off her umbilical arm too and for some time they'd be hanging around in the rock siblings' facilities to figure out how to be proficient at surviving (thank you Hunter)

meanwhile Wind is probably stuck admiring her own city (not too eager to go outside into the violent winds) and Innocence is figuring out how to be a proper Australian while hunting shit with her cyan lizard pack. she's havin a blast and when the main trio comes to find her she will have that survival camo markings on her face (mud), torn clothes and going "OOGA BOOGA HOOOOOOO" while waving her spear around

Suns just lying facedown in his chamber that's it. that's all they do. maybe visit Solis and have one fuck of a depression fest before going back to their chamber to lie facedown again

[liminalpebble]

OK, to start with, I may have sent this already but I'm a wee bit buzzed and not sure if it sent. You are my best friend. First, hugs so you can mourn the lost. Second karaoke to cheer up, get my drunk enough and I'll sing but you'll wish I didn't. Lastly we do shots toasting to the future.

Oh @sweetsigyn, you are such a darling, and if teleportation existed I would have Scottie beaming you up in a split second for hugs and drinks. You're such a good soul and I'm lucky to have you with me.

So many of you are so good and kind and smart and funny and I'm so grateful for your love on the bad days.

Thank you

Peb

P.S. I've managed to dodge the karaoke bullet my entire life. I never did it, despite having actually spent a few weeks in Tokyo with Japanese friends. I have no idea how I managed that, but it's for the good of everyone that I did. 😆

[liminalpebble]

hiya! could you add me to the “Stray (A Lokitty Story” taglist? i’m intrigued to see where the story goes!

Sure! And thank you so much for reading it! I'm really overwhelmed by the interest in this one (in a good way) and so so grateful.

Much love!

Peb

[peblezq]

9. the “you got kudos“ e-mail is usually much appreciated, but is there a fic you wish you didn’t get these e-mails for? if so, which one and why?

Well I won't say the title (or fandom) cause I actually have since orphaned it, but the reason why is cause it was written at a weird time of my life when I was evicted for the second time and was homeless for a few months - sharing a futon couch with my younger sibling in my mom's one bedroom apartment. I am so grateful I have family who will support me and not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have parents and siblings who would reach for the stars for me. The apartment was super cramped for space but it was better than nothing.

But ye. Everytime I got a kudos on this particular fic, it reminded me of that time and I just...would rather not think about that. So I altered the author's notes to take out my signature ~pebs signoff and then orphaned it so I never had to get another email update on it again. (The story was also just terrible but that's another story, Aha 😅) Kinda weird to admit it out loud but I am feeling candid tonight.