#Please feel free to add on if there is anything I didn't phrase clearly enough or that you would like to elaborate upon

[totally-italy]

so apothi folks are hardline aro and/or ace? cool, thank you for the explanation!

It's not so much that they are hardline about it; some arospec people are romance favourable or romance neutral, whereas some or romance-repulsed. The fact that they experience little to no romantic attraction is what makes them arospec, but the term apothiromantic would specify that their stance towards romance is that they are repulsed by it. Similarly, there are some people who are asexual who, whilst experiencing little to no sexual attraction, might be neutral about sex or might enjoy it, whereas there are others who are sex-repulsed.

[tiny-slasher]

Thomas Hewitt x Reader | Coffee Shop AU | Part 2

“Some more coffee shop AU thomas hewitt?👉👈“

“i've read that coffee shop au you wrote for thomas multiple times and i need more please!!!“

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･

You'd started to get strange looks from your coworkers. They never explicitly said so, but you knew why. You'd gone to Luda Mae's coffee shop every Wednesday and Thursday evening, spending more money on coffee than you had in your entire life, just to catch a glimpse of him.

He was so large, barely fitting in the space between the workstation and the counter you paid at. His hair was tangled under the straps of his mask, and his clothes were always stained with coffee. The intenseness of his eyes and constant furrow of his brow should've frightened you, and yet you found yourself lured by him instead. He always seemed surprised to see you, no matter how many weeks you'd continued your pattern, as if expecting you to just disappear one day. You were hoping that eventually the shock would fade, and that he'd seem relieved instead.

Upon arriving early at the coffee shop one Thursday afternoon, you were disappointed to see that Thomas wasn't there. You hadn't meant to show up so soon, but you'd felt so angry at your coworkers that you'd decided you couldn't stay at work for a second longer than you had to. Still fuming, you walked into the shop amidst the dwindling crowd of customers. The fact that they were all in such a hurry to leave, knowing Thomas' schedule themselves, had your blood boiling.

Your thoughts were broken by a familiar snap of fingers in your face, "Oi! What's gotten you all in a hissy fit, huh?"

The man at the register was Thomas' uncle, Charlie, who had introduced himself the third time you'd showed up in the shop. He was...not the type of person you would generally find yourself in company with, but he was nice enough when he wanted to be. Even though you hadn't breathed a word of your infatuation with Thomas, he and Luda Mae seemed to be very aware of it. You weren't sure if it made you giddy or uncomfortable when one of them was smiling at you, happy to see you in their shop again.

"What's the matter, darlin'? How bout I get'cha a cup, alright? The usual?" Luda Mae asked from behind Charlie, making her way to the coffee machine before you could respond.

You sighed and apologized, pulling out some money from your pocket. Luda Mae shook her head, "Nah, it's on the house, today. You look like ya need it."

Charlie groaned and turned to her, "Mama, ya can't be givin' out free drinks to them every time they show up!"

"It's my coffee, and I'll do as I please!"

You tiredly smiled at the two, shoving your money in the tip jar while they were looking away. Sitting down at a table nearby, you rubbed your temples in an attempt to rid yourself of a frustrated headache. You didn't realize that a cup of coffee had been set in front of you until a warm, gentle hand rested on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Luda Mae watching you in concern.

"I'm alright," you sighed. "Just had a long day at work, 's all."

She hummed, sitting down in a chair across from you. You sipped your coffee, sighing at the deep, silky, smooth flavor that hit your tastebuds. Despite your coworkers' very unkind opinions, their description of the coffee was shockingly accurate. The thought of them brought a frown to your lips.

"Oh, is the coffee no good? The machine's been a bit fussy today," Luda Mae sent a glare towards her coffee machine.

"No, no it's delicious! I was just..." You sigh and rub your eyes. "I just need to take a breather, I think."

"Well, alright. But if ya need anything, jus' holler, alright?" she patted you on the back before walking back behind the counter.

You tried to distract yourself with the coffee, but no matter how delicious it was, it wasn't strong enough to rid you of the memories in your head.

"His name is Thomas!" you'd bit out right before taking your leave for the day. "Not Leatherface!"

The disgusted glances they'd sent your way the entire morning had been bad enough, but hearing your coworker's unsavory nickname for him had been the final straw. You'd been tempted to punch each of their faces in, appalled that grown adults were even capable of such childish gossip and name calling, but settled with slamming the door on your way out. And now, your anger was growing again at the ever dwindling crowd in the coffee shop.

Now you understood why Luda Mae and Charlie had been so quick to dismiss you the first time you'd spoken to them, and it hurt to think about. How often must Thomas have been ridiculed or teased in his life for his mother and uncle to just assume that everyone automatically disliked him? That everyone had something nasty to say? The thought alone that anyone would purposely hurt Thomas, just because he was different, made you see red.

You jumped out of your skin when you felt a nudge at your shoulder, looking up to see Thomas standing over you. You were not used to him standing so close to you. He lifted his hand in a small wave, which he'd started doing after the fourth time you'd shown up to the shop, and you reciprocated.

"Hey, you're early!" you smiled at him.

He just shrugged, lifting his hands as if to try and say something with them, but then lowered them. Butterflies filled your stomach as he sat down across from you, his knees barely fitting under the table. You didn't want to seem like you were staring, but it was hard not to. He was just so handsome!

Still, you knew you were apparently in the minority of people who thought so. Everyone who talked about his looks always had to bring up his mask, and the scars on his arms. Someone had even started a rumor about what his face looked like underneath, and the descriptions only grew more and more elaborate as time went on. Even the smarter people that you knew were buying into these stories, and it frustrated you to no end.

"Hm?" you asked.

Thomas gestured if you were alright, and your cheeks heated as you realized you'd gotten lost in your thoughts again. You apologized, assuring him it was nothing, when Luda Mae walked over and placed a cup of coffee in front of Thomas.

"Here ya go, darlin'. Charlie and I will be leavin' in a few minutes. You might have a bit of trouble with the machine...it's been actin' a bit strangely," she told him, and then turned to you with a smile. "I suppose I'll see you next week?"

You nodded, "Hopefully."

Her smile grew wide, and her eyes crinkled at the corners. She gave you another pat on the back, kissed Thomas on the forehead, and then left into the back room. Thomas blushed at his mother's antics, and you couldn't help a smile from forming on your lips.

"You two behave!" Charlie yelled at you before walking into the back room himself.

You nearly choked on your coffee, but managed to compose yourself. The flush on Thomas' face was a lot darker than before, and he huffed in Hoyt's direction. You could feel his distaste rolling off of him in waves, and it was one of the many times you wished Thomas spoke. You always wondered what he was thinking. Was he funny? Was he smart? You got the feeling that he was sarcastic, if his eye rolls were any indication, but you never knew for sure.

Thomas sipped his coffee, alternating between looking at it and looking up at you. He always seemed like he wanted to say something to you, but of course, he never did.

"Have you ever tried to learn sign language?" you asked him.

Thomas slowly shook his head, his fingers twitching as if wanted to add on to that statement.

"Well, we could learn together, if you want!" you suggested, nervously.

Thomas blinked, his eyes burning into yours, and then he nodded. His mouth opened, and then slammed shut again, as his fingers twitched in abandoned attempts to communicate. Frustrated, Thomas stood and walked behind the counter, and then came back with a notepad and a pen. Your heart fluttered, excited and a bit nervous. You'd spent so many weeks wanted to know more about him, and now you supposed you'd get your chance.

So what if he wasn't behind the counter like he was supposed to be? It wasn't like many customers showed up anyway. You'd be surprised if he got more than two or three, and even then they'd probably leave in a hurry.

Seemingly agreeing with you, Thomas sat down and began scribbling on the notepad. Turning it towards you, you saw the phrase "I might learn slow" in very sloppy handwriting. Clearly, his penmanship wasn't the best, but it was legible...and that's all that really mattered.

"That's okay! I don't mind!" you said excitedly.

He nodded, his concern somewhat put to rest, and he clasped his hands on the table in front of him. He shifted in his seat, clearing his throat as he clasped his hands in front of him, unsure what to do. Hearing his voice for the first time did strange things to you, especially with how gravelly and soft it was. It made you wonder what he'd sound like speaking, if he could.

The bell over the door rang, signaling the entry of a customer. You turned to see who'd entered, and saw Thomas get up from the corner of your eye. He walked behind the counter as the man who'd walked in slowly made his way forward. His stance revealed how nervous he was, but he managed to order a cup of coffee without much fuss. He glanced in your direction, giving you a look similar to the ones your coworkers had given you.

Your gaze fell to Thomas as you played with the rim of your now empty coffee cup. You tried not to ogle his backside for too long, in case he looked your way, but you couldn't help but spare a few glances. It didn't take him long to finish brewing the drink, hurriedly paid for by the man ordering it. The man was out the door when you blinked next, and you rolled your eyes.

Thomas made his way over to you, grabbing your cup before you could protest. At first, you assumed he was going to toss it in the sink, but were surprised to see him going to refill it. Of course, you ordered the same thing every time you showed up, so he didn't have to ask what you wanted.

You jumped when you heard a loud bang, and the smashing of ceramic on the tile. You turned to see Thomas recoil from the coffee machine, grunting in what you could only assume was pain. The machine rattled and hissed until Thomas punched the off button to it, holding onto his right hand as though it had been broken.

You immediately stood from your chair and ran over, uncaring of the broken ceramic on the floor, and took his hand in yours. It was bright red, scalded by the hot water of the machine. You dragged him over to the sink and turned on some cool water, making sure it ran over the worst parts of burn. It wasn't until you'd assessed his burn to be fairly minor that you realized how close you were standing to him.

You were holding his wrist in your hands.

You turned to him, noticing how heavy his breathing had gotten. His eyes were wide as he stared at you, and you were sure yours were as well. One of your hands began to travel a bit past his wrist and up his arm, trailing over the thick hair that lay there. Swallowing, you shook your head to gather yourself and looked back at his hand, turning the water off and gently drying it off with a towel.

"It doesn't look too bad...might hurt for a couple of days," you said, frowning at it.

You looked back up at Thomas, still holding his hand in yours. All the air in your lungs vanished at the look he was giving you, one of disbelief, shock, and...something else. You trembled, frozen in place. His chest heaved, as if having to remind himself how to breathe.

He yanked his hand away when the backdoor opened up to reveal Charlie.

"Sorry, forgot my wallet-" he paused, looking at the two of you with a raised eyebrow. "Weeeell, what've we got here? I thought I told you two ta behave!"

Thomas sighed and grabbed a broom to clean up the mess on the floor. You tried to move out of his way, picking a piece of ceramic out of your shoe that had wedged itself there in your haste to help Thomas.

You cleared your throat, "The machine burned Thomas' hand, so I was just helping..."

"Damn thing! Knew we should've just kept the ol' one!" Charlie whacked the machine with a glare, shaking his head. "I told Mama not to get all dazzle-eyed at how shiny it was, but did she listen? Nah."

He grumbled as he walked over to grab his wallet from under the counter, shoving it in his pocket as he shook his head at the machine. Thomas dumped some of the broken cup pieces in the trash, not even wincing when he accidentally brushed his burnt hand on his apron.

"Guess we'll have to pull out the old one, the way the good lord intended," Charlie huffed before turning to Thomas. "Don't even bother making coffee with this piece of shit, we'll just close for the night."

Thomas stopped sweeping and glanced in your direction, his hesitation catching his uncle's attention. Charlie gave him a long look, eyebrow raised, and then followed his gaze to you. Recognition filled his gaze, and your cheeks grew even warmer than they already were.

"Well, if ya wanna stay open all night, be my guest," he drawled, making his way back out. "But I don't wanna be cleanin' no suspicious stains tomorrow, ya hear me?"

Thomas stomped over and ushered him out the door, and you heard Charlie laugh obnoxiously. Thomas spared a glance at you, clearly embarrassed, and then went back to sweeping. You decided it might be best to give him a bit of space, so you began to walk out from behind the counter.

Your heart rate increased exponentially when Thomas' arm wrapped around your stomach from the front, stopping you in your tracks. His grip on you was strong, and your hands instinctively grabbed his arm, feeling the unevenness of his skin where all his scars were. You wanted to ask him about it, but didn't want to drag up any bad memories.

You turned to him, surprised, and he let go to point down at the floor. A few inches from your foot lay a rather jagged piece of ceramic. The odds of it making its way through your shoe and into your foot were extremely unlikely, but clearly Thomas thought otherwise. His brows were furrowed in concern, searching you for any signs of pain.

"O-oh, thank you Thomas," you laughed awkwardly. "I guess I should probably just stand still then."

He nodded, huffing out a breath that resembled a laugh. You backed away a bit and stayed put, letting him finish his work. You definitely did not ogle his backside again when he crouched down to gather everything up. Once finished, he turned back to you as if to say something, but then shook his head and walked back over to the table. You followed him, surprised when he picked up the coffee his mother had made him, and offered it to you. Your heart swelled and a strange sort of a feeling settled in your stomach when you realized he was trying to make up for the refill he wasn't able to give you.

"No, that's alright, if I have any more coffee I'll be up all night," you smiled at him, gently pushing his cup back towards him. "I guess I'll just have to come back when you guys get the coffee machine working again."

Thomas nodded, satisfied with your reply, before reaching down to the notepad on the table. Scribbling something down really quickly, he tore the paper out and handed it to you. You laughed at loud when you read what it said, covering your mouth with your hand.

"IOU 1 coffee - Thomas"

"I'll put this to good use, don't worry," you thought for a moment. "You work in the back the rest of the week, right?"

Thomas nodded, curious as to why you were asking.

"If I come tomorrow," you hypothesized. "Would you come out and make me a coffee?"

Thomas' cheeks reddened, and he played with the strings of his apron. He looked away for a second, and then around at the empty tables, and then finally back to you. Seeing your hopeful expression, he nodded.

You beamed at him, throwing your arms around him in a hug before you could think of doing otherwise. He jumped, his arms hovering out as if they didn't know what to do. Realizing what you'd done, you began to pull away, only to have two large, and warm hands tentatively settle on your upper back. He was so warm, and his embrace was so gentle.

How could anyone think he was a monster?

You smiled up at him, and he let go of a breath he'd been holding a bit too long. You knew you should leave, since you would need to get up early the next day, and there was no reason for Thomas to have to keep the shop open when he couldn't make coffee. Yet, you found yourself hesitating, comfortable in his arms. He seemed to return the sentiment, his grip on you tightening in a barely noticeable way. The two of you stood there for much longer than you probably should have, reluctant to pull away from each other.

Eventually, you made your way over to the exit, with the door held open by Thomas.

"You take care of that hand, alright?" you stressed. "When I come back tomorrow, it better be on the road to recovery."

Thomas rolled his eyes, but smiled at you with such fondness, you found yourself burning. You told him goodbye, parting ways for the evening, relishing in the way he watched you leave.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Well, back so soon?" Charlie teased. "You know it'd be against company policy for me to let'cha out back where Tommy is."

"I actually came to redeem this," you replied, holding up the piece of paper Thomas had given you. "To go, please."

Charlie's grumbled as he pulled out a pair of reading glasses from his pocket. Snatching the paper out of your hand, he read what was written, and his eyebrows raised. Snorting in amusement, he folded his glasses back up and gave you a once over.

Without a word, he walked over to the back door and slammed it open, yelling out into the other room, "TOMMY! GET OUT HERE! AND QUIT GIVIN' OUT COUPONS!"

If you tried to hide the joy you felt upon seeing Thomas, you failed miserably. The smile on your face seemed to be contagious, since Thomas returned it twofold. Neither of you paid any mind to the whispers of the other customers, too wrapped up in your own thoughts.

Luda Mae invited you to dinner while you waited, earning a grumble from Charlie about 'being a freeloader'. You'd agreed, earning an excited and nervous glance from Thomas, who gently placed your coffee in your hands. You smiled at him, confirming that you'd see him later. Waving goodbye to the three of them, you exited the shop to head to work for the day.

It wasn't until you were about to toss the now empty to-go cup in the trash that you noticed a hastily written note on the side.

"Have a good day ♥"

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

PART 1

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [so like evening like probably not expecting this] Janis: what you up to tonight Jimmy: What are you about to ask me to do? Janis: Sadly, nothing that exciting Janis: but I need out of this house so if you've got something going on, we can make some #content Jimmy: Find a party and I'll meet you there Janis: Okay Janis: it's been dry so far but not everyone can have decided to be boring all at once Jimmy: have you moved to a new town without telling me? Jimmy: bit rude to make me fake ldr Janis: God, I wish Janis: I need to be several towns over with the noise that being made in this gaff rn Jimmy: They're there and you didn't invite me? That's more than a bit rude, mate 💔 Janis: Oh yeah Janis: sleepover fetish is so real 🤤😍 Jimmy: You know how I feel about you in PJs Jimmy: how dare you Janis: I know you're just gutted you didn't get a chance to see 💀👑 in hers Janis: 💔💔 hurts Jimmy: [brings back the # he started about her only wearing pjs cos I skim re-read that convo post school trip yesterday] Janis: Fine, come over Janis: if you love a throwback that hard Janis: we won't be sharing a room with them though Jimmy: I'd 💕 some enthusiasm Janis: You can have all the snacks they won't eat Jimmy: Has my true love cleared that? Janis: You have to save her from herself Janis: they do it on purpose, it's a binge waiting to happen Jimmy: hot Janis: If you've got a saviour complex Janis: put on your cape, crown of thorns, whatever suits Jimmy: If you've got a short enough memory to forget me saving you from a life threatening injury and nursing you back from the brink Jimmy: suited you then Janis: I remember, if less dramatically and in your favour Janis: but I never said it didn't suit Jimmy: know my audience and how they remember it Jimmy: Give me your address then, Juliet Janis: Hmm, Grace would say you owe her damages, probably Janis: [does, lol soz] Jimmy: she knows where I am if she wants to claim Jimmy: I'll have 'em off you though for taking the piss Janis: Only my parents doing that Janis: I'll pay for an uber if you can cope with the flex Janis: desperate times, like Jimmy: shut up Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude is sending me into the middle of nowt to get 💀🔪🔪 Janis: You can trust me Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 🙂🙂🙂🙂 Jimmy: Stop messing about, rich girl Janis: I ain't, look on street view or some shit, it's a big hippie farmhouse Jimmy: [does so a pause] Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Janis: I'll get you an uber now, yeah? Janis: before they 💀🔪🔪 me in some sleepover satanic ritual Jimmy: I can't have them fucking with our pact Janis: my hero 💘 Jimmy: there's your first caption sorted Janis: I'll think of something as mushy for you in the meantime Jimmy: do you need owt other than a ✞? I'm at the shop Janis: 🤔 Janis: get a like meal for two I can pretend I cooked Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I assume you've got 🚬s Jimmy: I'll grab drinks though Janis: can do Janis: we have some shit here too though Jimmy: What's #goals when you're not drinking a flat white? Janis: if it's pink and alcoholic Jimmy: [sends her pics of different drinks like rose wine or pink gin or whatever else like ?] Janis: Better go gin Janis: it is an emergency Jimmy: [when that's got mum energy so you're lowkey triggered and don't reply] Janis: [when you think it's 'cos it was too pricey or something so you're like oh no faux pas] Janis: the rose would be fine too, I'm not fussy, as you know by now Jimmy: [thinking about Harry too now but sends a selfie from the uber with the gin secured like everything's fine] Janis: 😍 Janis: should I socials that? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: idk how vain you're feeling Janis: maybe you wanna fix your hair Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: if I weren't I wouldn't be coming to mess up yours Janis: 😏 Janis: [does post it, with all that enthusiasm about him coming that is so fake uhuh] Jimmy: [a cute little back and forth in the comments while he's on route] Janis: [one of them clearly has liked it so now they know they know] Janis: There we go, committed now Jimmy: [love that though cos it gives them an excuse to go harder with it which he would and is] Jimmy: Is that a record or what? Janis: wait 'til you see their creepy faces fogging up the glass Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: no horror films needed Janis: got the setting Janis: even if I 🤞 I'm here, like Jimmy: Promise you'll protect me Janis: 💪 babe Janis: you're safe with me Jimmy: Say it then Janis: What? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Oh Janis: I promise I'll protect you from 💀👑 and her underlings Janis: salt circles all ready, like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: you're feeling generous Janis: have you opened that pink gin without me Jimmy: you ain't feeling any trust towards me Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: I'm trusting you with my life rn Janis: you've got to fend off the pillows in the night Jimmy: hot Janis: glad you think so Jimmy: oi, be glad you know it Jimmy: that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: Add it to my collection Janis: 🎟🎟🎟🎟 what do I win when I get enough? Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: fuck a 🧸 obvs Jimmy: If that's what you're getting me to this sleepover for, steady on Jimmy: he can buy me a drink first instead of making me bring my own Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: stop Janis: his plans are set and he is gutted Janis: 🚫 sneaking out Jimmy: me an' all, put in loads of groundwork on that trip Jimmy: treating him mean and all that bollocks Janis: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: when it was all a cunning ruse to see Mr. Bear again Jimmy: It's my turn to cheat, Joanne Janis: you'll have to take your free pass to the bathroom 'cos we can't not share a room Janis: and I don't need to witness that tah Jimmy: It's alright, I won't kiss him on the mouth Janis: she probably practices on him Janis: it'll be sticky Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: I said I never opened the gin not that I ain't drank nowt Janis: such a lightweight Jimmy: Leave it out, pisshead Jimmy: I didn't know you were gonna 🍑📞 Janis: Do you feel cheap? Janis: 'cos that ride ain't, so don't worry boo 😘 Jimmy: I ain't been in an uber before, how could I not feel 🤑🤑 Janis: 🤞 you get here unmurdered and unmolested Janis: driver gonna ruin my night, like Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: that might make my night 💕👴 Janis: obviously, I am here to ruin your night Janis: 🍑📞 shoulda let you know Janis: were you out? Jimmy: With who, my other fake girlfriend? Janis: I can be that jealous Janis: they'd pretend they didn't love that but they so would Jimmy: I'd drink to it Janis: [a picture of 🧸 in the washing machine like 'bout to drown a bitch for you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: sod nudes, get you a girl who sends 💀💀💀 threats she's about to follow through on Janis: you're so welcome Janis: he'll be date ready and so will you 🍆💦💦 Jimmy: Depends if they've set a trap on the front door Janis: There's no way they'll be ready for gentlemen callers that soon Janis: you could be travelling from the fucking moon and they'd still be hiding Jimmy: Asia's always ready for me, babe Jimmy: The tall one an' all Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: soz that you thought you were my only starcrossed lover Janis: Of course not Janis: just the idea of those two doing anything beyond 😭 makes me wanna 💀💀💀 obvs Jimmy: I might 🤢🤢🤢 which is 💀👑 ultimate kink so please shut up Janis: Errm they're your lovers, not mine Jimmy: sound more gutted, mate Janis: what is it this time Janis: 😍 for you or them Jimmy: Me obvs Jimmy: keep up, girl Janis: thanks for saying I'm doing a 🥇🏆 job Jimmy: You're not gay, Judith Jimmy: And even if you were, you ain't 🥇 enough to fake 😍 for them Janis: that was very affirming and then rude Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: I'd offer you a gold star but that's a bit Janis: insulting at this point Jimmy: I never thought you were Janis: ? Jimmy: Why did you reckon I thought you were gay? Janis: 'cos you said I was obsessed with them Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: I said the bollocks they say and do is more important to you than it is to me Janis: You might wanna work on your phrasing then Janis: but idc Jimmy: Alright Janis: but for the record, I only think you're gay for Dan Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: v offensive that I've not affirmed your heterosexuality in his 👀 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: I won't Janis: deeply wounded Jimmy: Tah for the warning so I don't go arse over in the blood Janis: not a very heroic way to die Janis: even Romeo did better Jimmy: He had Bill, I'm holding my own 🖋 Janis: hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: [tweets that gem] Jimmy: [having another flirt via socials] Janis: [love that for you] Jimmy: Have you got a balcony? Janis: Sadly not Janis: been let down big time there Jimmy: And I couldn't fit the 🎻 in my overnight bag Janis: Just when we needed it most Jimmy: it's a piss poor shout, I'm sorry baby Janis: It's alright, in terms of convincing them we're fucking all night, probably need a less 💔 soundtrack Jimmy: 👍 or 👎 to Romeo + Juliet soundtrack? Janis: yes Janis: of course Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: For an all nighter we've got our Easter Rising one an' all, Tah Dan Janis: He'll be thrilled he's having a hand in our fictional fuckfest, I'm sure Janis: a hand in was the best choice of words there Jimmy: He'll be getting me through it 🍆💦💦 Janis: 🤤 hard same Janis: you were such a cockblock Jimmy: Invite him over, I'll go home Janis: He probably has a curfew Janis: God bless Jimmy: Bringing him into it an' all again Janis: He does reside here Janis: apparently Janis: I've never seen him and he doesn't do any chores but Jimmy: holy 👻 and unholy 👻 boy in your gaff Jimmy: might be a scrap Janis: you'll be buzzin' then Janis: making your night over and over, babe Jimmy: can't stop being #goals you Janis: not an amateur Jimmy: loads of time to prove it in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You do sleepovers with your mates before? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 🤷 Janis: curious Janis: not as talked about Janis: what do boys do Jimmy: What do you reckon? Jimmy: I'd be gutted to 💔 you Janis: Obviously I'm 💔 that you don't talk about girls and 'practice' kissing Janis: but if you confirm you just play videogames and drink cheap beers on the low, I think I'll survive Jimmy: We do talk about girls but there's no need to practice kissing when you're this 😎🏆 Janis: 😏 okay Janis: not sharing your expertise is selfish of you Jimmy: My ex shared it round plenty, don't worry Jimmy: Half the north knows my tips and tricks Janis: Bummer Janis: No thinking I'm special then, I hear you Jimmy: I can't stop you thinking owt Janis: It's alright, I'm specials in every other way Jimmy: Bighead strikes again Janis: yeah, try and deny it, dickhead Jimmy: That you think you're special? Janis: You know what I meant Janis: you 🙊 me 🙉 Jimmy: Oi I'm 🦍 Jimmy: Ask my man Janis: You're SO hench, babe Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: I'm SO lucky Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: You picked a film for us to not watch yet? Janis: I'm debating what the worst romcom of all time is Jimmy: [sends her a little list because he's had a nightmare girlfriend] Jimmy: off the top of my head Janis: kink unlocked Janis: that's worse than any of the others so far, God Janis: deviant Jimmy: Piss off Janis: No wonder they all love you Jimmy: They ain't unlocked any of my kinks, real or fake Janis: Are you sure? Janis: they're accomplished stalkers if fuck all else, like Jimmy: I don't have a tinder with 'em listed Jimmy: What are they gonna stalk? Janis: Yo 🧠 Janis: vampire style Jimmy: You're the only 🧛 I've met Janis: 😏 Janis: and I'd do it again Janis: were I not bound to protect you Jimmy: Crack on Jimmy: If we're meant to be pulling a 💕 all nighter you'll have to do something Janis: If we're convincing enough, they'll spread it 'fore us Janis: spare your precious skin Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: [is extra on socials again for the final time like see how convincing I am] Janis: I know it didn't hurt that bad, baby Jimmy: Do you? Janis: Did it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: That's not fair Janis: if I Mike Tyson'd you you have to say Jimmy: I'll tell you in my oscar speech Janis: You'll be thanking me then Janis: ha, knew you loved it Jimmy: for the adversity Jimmy: tah Janis: pisstake Jimmy: you Janis: ☝ boy Jimmy: Why are you trying to truth or dare me before I'm in the door? Calm it down, Joan Janis: Party don't start 'til you walk in? Janis: Psh Jimmy: I need an audience and a stage, Bill can relate Janis: Duh Janis: what it's all about Jimmy: #whenshegetsyou Janis: we're a step away from a contract Jimmy: 🩸🖋💌 Janis: trying to tempt me with some bloodletting Janis: 😳 is it hot in here Jimmy: I wanna get my 🎟🎟🎟🎟🎟 too Janis: you already knew that one Janis: #eargate Jimmy: Yeah but now you're in the mood Jimmy: might let loads slip Janis: You'll have to work harder than this Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: did your driver co-write that or Jimmy: You can ask him when you pay him, that won't be weird Janis: just wondering where the audience is Jimmy: Post it if you wanna find them, not gonna be far away Janis: [does not] Janis: I'm not going to make you meet my parents, by the way Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Should be a rule that Jimmy: I'd bleed to keep you away from mine Janis: Now you're just trying to be hot Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: #effortless Janis: you better not be in that car Janis: not paying your cleaning bill too Jimmy: It's behind the ear you didn't take off Jimmy: We're alright Janis: Can't say I'm not fair 😏 Jimmy: Not when anyone's about Janis: I know the audience too Jimmy: Be a long night if you don't Janis: shut up Janis: they'll crash before we do anyway Janis: then you can actually do what you want Jimmy: I know you wanna talk about girls and play videogames like a northern lad Jimmy: 🥧🥔🍺 weren't the meal deal though 💔 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oh no, however will I cope Jimmy: I dunno, mate Jimmy: I'll have to double up on the heroics, me Janis: you're allowed to sleep, you know Janis: overtime ain't an all-nighter too Jimmy: might do but I only chucked the one bottle in my basket Janis: we've got some great sleeping pills Janis: dessert 💕 Jimmy: You're alright Janis: 🤷 Janis: not on commission Jimmy: You must know the audience if you're trying to knock me out this hard Janis: How long can we be in each other's company before you try to seriously injure me Janis: nothing but self-preservation here Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I know my own 💪🏆 Janis: Doing it on purpose don't make it no better Janis: 'less I asked for it, obvs Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'Cause if that's a #kinkunlocked I'll have my 🎟 Janis: 🙊 Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: 💀👑 is definitely a freak Janis: probably just encourage her to keep 👀 Jimmy: 🍿 or 📹? Janis: cotton balls soaked in 0cal 'butter' spray Jimmy: 😋😋😋 Janis: though if she were to 📹 wouldn't be the first time Janis: still getting tagged 🙄 Jimmy: #same Janis: hmm, at least your tits aren't low-key out Jimmy: I'll get 'em out tonight Jimmy: Only fair Janis: 😂 Janis: clearly dying to anyway Jimmy: They're 🥇 I gotta keep it #goals Janis: this town ain't big enough for both our heads Jimmy: It's alright, I ain't gonna be here long Janis: Nah? Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah, well convincing that one Jimmy: Not on the clock yet Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 💀👑 got you plaiting or 💅? Either way you're gonna need some glue Janis: not touching her without gloves Janis: one of your girlfriends is asking about you Jimmy: Duh we'd get caught for the 🔪🔪💀 before we had chance to piss off anywhere Jimmy: Which one? Janis: you're pissing off anyway, I'll have to live, murder and die here Janis: now you're interested Jimmy: Oh come on, baby, where I go, you go 💕 Janis: you can drop me off the first place that isn't here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kink unlocked Janis: have a 🎟 Jimmy: Common sense ain't one Janis: don't tell me what my kinks are and aren't, boy Janis: you're not in control like that Jimmy: I'm 👮🚔 remember Jimmy: might be a kink division Janis: you are ridiculous Janis: and garda ain't telling me nothing Jimmy: I ain't a paddy, law's different up North, that'll be why it's grim Janis: I've seen the procedurals, mate Janis: you aren't old and grizzled enough to be the maverick Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You'll make the driver 😳 Janis: 🤞 you crash, of course Jimmy: Not unless it's right outside yours and you can throw yourself in front as we do Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact not 👻 me and widow you Janis: but you love black Janis: but fine, I'll throw myself on the wreckage Jimmy: on me, give a shit what you wear, hun Janis: fine, I'll go play dress up with them Janis: good luck faking 😍 then Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 1. PJs or I ain't coming in Jimmy: 2. maybe I wanna be pretty an' all, bit rude not to wait for the love of your life Jimmy: 3. 🥇 or nowt Janis: 1. admit you care more Janis: 2. you're pretty enough, sweetheart Janis: 3. 💪 Jimmy: More than what? Janis: just more than you protesting Jimmy: About what? Janis: that you don't give a shit what I wear Janis: you started a # Jimmy: Mr Lucas gives a shit what you wear, I just fake it Janis: real mvp Janis: he'd be way more buzzing my parents were out Jimmy: probably a bit late to invite him Jimmy: I reckon I'm here near enough Janis: know how you feel about threesomes Janis: I'll come find you Jimmy: first off, it were you who 🚫 my proposition for us and that dickhead of yours to have one Jimmy: second, you better had, you did 🤞 Janis: Was not Janis: and he's not MY dickhead, just a dickhead, don't put that on me Janis: [meeting him dramatically 'cos they watching, turning her eyes up to the window so he can see] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna go with it and we know why so] Janis: [we all know you're both grateful for an excuse to kiss each other on sight] Jimmy: [pick her up boy even though you'll have to put down what you're carrying #priorities] Janis: [when y'all would NEVER let a man lmao] Jimmy: [we all know y'all are lowkey like DON'T TOUCH ME] Janis: [tbf a boy was like i can pick you up when i was like 13 and i was like you can't and then he tried and was like oh you're heavy rude you're just weak] Jimmy: [I'm so 😡] Janis: [don't need that potential trigger in your life ladies] Jimmy: [I'm dying though like get inside you two, there's never any need to go as hard or long as you do] Janis: [so method lol] Jimmy: [Gotta like throw the food at her as soon as you're inside because a second has passed without being rude and god forbid] Janis: [just judging his choices like hmm 'cos same] Jimmy: [😒 like oi as if he's not just been rude but opening the gin even before there's glasses #calm down] Janis: [raising a brow but not saying anything 'cos you're like yeah, fair, pointing him over to wherever the glasses are so you can fake cook this meal real quick] Jimmy: [raising his own like oh you fancy as if he was just gonna swig it from the bottle forever but pours some into her mouth first because so needed and shamelessly flirty all the time before going to sort glasses like nothing even happened okay] Janis: ['have some decorum, boy' 😏 until he does that then you're like 😳 'tryna get me drunk too' tutting dramatically] Jimmy: [just shakes his head also 😏 at the words and the tuts 'Don't worry, I know, wouldn't be very goals, that'] Janis: [shrugs 'depends'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I know it would be for you but we don't set the goals] Janis: [looking back 'til the microwave pings and brings you back 'round 'you've seen 'em at parties, right pissheads'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'You're a lightweight, and we've got content to create' realises that rhymes and does a little flourish in the air like he's writing with a pen cos poet and nerd] Janis: [when you can't help but lol, even though you're trying to 🙄 is creating #content already and making this meal look #aesthetic and #goals for the 'gram before pushing a plate at him like there you go] Jimmy: [control your 😍 over her cute laugh by acting like that food is so interesting and important] Janis: [but don't control it too hard 'cos cringe couples always take pics of each other eating so get ready for your closeup boy] Jimmy: [that's tea and you know they are seeing/interacting with all this nonsense so you gotta go for it] Janis: [hence you know to stay out the kitchen but you won't, like what you need ladies] Jimmy: [thank god they'd hear them coming so he can be like come sit on my lap for a sec as if that's where she's been the whole time, just not practical, I'd throw food all over you by accident boo] Janis: [again, doing things y'all would never do, and we know you two love this so] Jimmy: [like I'mma just feed you something girl let's see how hard we can trigger Mia] Janis: [how you don't lol, just permanent 😏 like living your best life] Jimmy: [we've only just begun to live] Janis: [classic 'oh you've got something here-' and shamelessly caressing his face] Jimmy: [shameless makeout sesh ensues because if you stay now gals you're the ones making it weird] Janis: [clearly overstaying your welcome for slightly too long before making a comment and running off giggling like you're 12] Jimmy: [let you go 🚬 once they're gone boy cos longest uber ride ever] Janis: [truly, the struggle is so real, wait 'til we make you go on the bus that goes all 'round the houses lol] Jimmy: [hasn't invited her cos we back to being rude obvs] Janis: [so charming lol, on the sofa like 😒] Jimmy: [when you're ages and we know it's because you always need all the moments after kissing her] Janis: you want me to pay for 🚬 or what Jimmy: Save the flex for one that's more #relatable to the fans Janis: I asked if you'd got 'em, could've warned me if I weren't getting none, like Jimmy: Come here Janis: You can save it for me Janis: take breaks in shifts Janis: professional Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👌 Janis: soz, btw Jimmy: For what? Janis: not brushing my teeth Janis: know its a big pet peeve Jimmy: used to how minging you are by now, Josephine Janis: if you gave some warning Janis: face hugger Jimmy: soz I can't always hear 💀👑's bones creaking, bit deaf, me Jimmy: might be the one ear Jimmy: and anyway it depends Janis: It's romantic, you wanna be a great artiste, don't you Janis: and what does it depend on then Jimmy: Why would I wanna be owt of the sort? Jimmy: It depends what lads you've had round before me, what else? Janis: get bitches get money Janis: obvs Janis: I was talking about being mid-dinner, don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: 👌 Janis: will ask about getting that revolving door installed though Janis: tah for the reminder Jimmy: Gracie'll be 👍 when you do Janis: yeah Janis: whole house full of slags, like Jimmy: you do live in the middle of nowt, gotta have something to do Janis: decent excuse Jimmy: only so much horse riding even a rich girl can do Janis: one in the same if you're that kind of rich girl Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: obvs Janis: have to have one to pay for the other Janis: basic maths Jimmy: Alright 🤓 Janis: giving you 💰 tips for nothing here Jimmy: can't take it with me Janis: why not Jimmy: What do you mean? Jimmy: I reckon hell's got a free bar in the very least Janis: Optimistic Janis: I've at least heard that passage, like Janis: you'd be so lucky Jimmy: if you want the pessimistic angle, it'll rot in the ground Jimmy: got that covered Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [comes back in cos can't be out there forever] Janis: [puts hand out like gimme 'cos obvs you need to leave immediately] Jimmy: [does but also gives her look like bit rude] Janis: [a look like you started it but still saying thanks, not a heathen] Jimmy: [chucks her his jacket/hoodie or whatever even though it's april] Janis: ['good thinking' as she walks out the door] Jimmy: [drink your gin boy] Janis: [clearly taking a cute selfie in that, minus cigarette] Jimmy: [be extra fake to hide how good you think she actually looks please] Janis: [ah the fakery of it all this is fine lollol] Jimmy: [I'm gonna give her a bit then have him come out like he DESPERATELY needs something from his pocket suddenly 1. what even would that be boy 2. no you don't 3. you also don't need to be so hot about it like reaching over her and all that jazz] Janis: [just a LOOK] Jimmy: [when your plan was to just walk away but of course you have to give her a look back] Janis: [offering out the 🚬 like he didn't just have his own, but then doing the sexy blowback moment when he's like okay] Jimmy: [he's just dying now, aren't we all, like didn't expect that did you bitch] Janis: [definition of 😏] Jimmy: [walk away Jimothy you're in too deep] Jimmy: [but I like to imagine he walks into one of the flat whites when he's all flustered, feed that narrative even by accident lads] Janis: [joy of joys, poor boy lol] Janis: you can pick a film Janis: one you might actually wanna watch then one to switch back to Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: 👍 Janis: Brb, I'll go pretend to do what girls do Janis: [comes in but goes upstairs] Jimmy: [we all know he's watching her go, boy be careful] Janis: [we all throwing all the glances like this ain't a dangerous game] Jimmy: [take the time she's upstairs to calm down please and thank you sir] Janis: [we out here brushing out teeth obvs] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but at least being in there can give you the idea for bathgate] Janis: [🔥💡] Jimmy: [what could possibly go wrong like] Janis: [hohahaha] Jimmy: [sending her some of his fave comments from what they've posted so far cos shady bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos likewise] Janis: wish Dan would comment though Janis: what's he up to Jimmy: 💔💔 Hang on Jimmy: [has a stalk and likewise sends her his fave things he finds] Janis: awh Janis: what a man Jimmy: that his missus? Jimmy: 🔪🔪 Janis: so jealous Janis: learn to be fake happy Jimmy: in a bit, gotta go arrange a 🥇 threesome Jimmy: be really happy after Janis: wait 'til you're off the clock Janis: do whatever you want then Jimmy: UGH Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: 🤞 that's what Dan's girlfriend'll say Janis: she's dating Dan Janis: her lack of sense and taste is obvious and in your favour, congrats Jimmy: I KNOW HE'S SOOOOOOOO 🥇👑😍🏆💪 Jimmy: tah for the #hype babes Jimmy: I reckon now I can 🎯 Janis: [comes down like let's get this over with] Jimmy: [puts on whatever he can bear to watch cos even the flat whites ain't gonna appear that quick] Janis: [and sitting as far apart as you can without it being impossible to be all over each other in 5 secs when needed] Jimmy: [does top up her drink for her though cos isn't as rude as he pretends to be] Janis: [cheers and drinks that too fast] Jimmy: [he's gone the other way and barely touched his because he's like I'm clearly too drunk rn after what happened with the blowbacks] Janis: [ah the confusion and awkwardness] Jimmy: [just on his phone even though he should wanna watch this since he picked it lol] Janis: [getting herself more drink that isn't gin] Jimmy: [wise move babe] Janis: [although mixing perhaps isn't, but rude like that and it isn't as if you've hung with anyone in time now nevermind the clusterfuck of what is this] Jimmy: [Christ knows what he had to drink before he got here so likewise a dickhead and likewise antisocial we know] Janis: [can't leave this forever though have some of 'em run through like we need drinks or whatever they're coming up with, so you gotta low-key launch yourself at him and get into some kind of snuggle position like oh hey but also not hey, only 😍 for him soz] Jimmy: [he changed it to a rom-com cos good reflexes though] Janis: [offering them the gin like I'm such a nice person and I'm so good here 'cos that'll piss Mia off] Jimmy: [when you have to snuggle her extra hard cos you're trying not to lol] Janis: [tickling him 'cos PDA comes in so many forms why are you just watching this lmao] Jimmy: [when he'd be so mad about it but all he can do rn is playfight cos gotta be 😍] Janis: [when you know it so now you're loling too with secret 😏 that only he gonna pick up on] Jimmy: [gotta exploit wherever she's most ticklish like 😏] Janis: [regrets, you have none, even though you're dying] Jimmy: [just having fun working out all the bae's ticklish places like this is so casual] Janis: [all 'oh my god, stop' in that fake ass don't stop way] Jimmy: ['make me' cos we all know what that means haha] Janis: [mmmmmakeout time, take your cue to leave] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you don't notice that they've left for a bit] Janis: [always think that like how you breaking this up just like, anyway] Jimmy: [honestly forever going 0-1000 and back again like this is fine] Janis: [no wonder you going cray] Jimmy: [literally, unrelated but did Mia take that gin or nah? lol] Janis: [I feel like Asia took it like yay and Mia will tell her off lmao] Jimmy: [that's real af so I second it and Grace is gonna drink it cos they are doing her head in] Janis: [when you need to get drunk to enjoy your friend's company, happy days] Jimmy: [when your friends are so obsessed with your sister and her man though] Janis: [soz it's a moment babe] Jimmy: [just you wait til bathgate gals] Janis: [oh lordy] Janis: what else do girls like them like then Janis: 'cos you got to admit, it's a laugh getting to 'em and winding them up Jimmy: [a really cute concentration face while he's thinking] Jimmy: Facemasks? Janis: [hiding your 😍 by pulling a pisstakey face] Janis: alright, but I ain't putting any of the weird shit on they do Janis: especially if I end up looking as rough as them Jimmy: Hang on, I'll go ask Gracie if she's got any of those bollocks sheet ones everyone 📷 themselves in Jimmy: What animal do you wanna be? Janis: 🤔 are you serious Jimmy: 🙀 it is then? Alright, I'll ask Jimmy: [Gets up and heads towards the stairs] Janis: you don't even know what room is hers Jimmy: I'll follow the 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [and is] Janis: your ⚰ Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'll chill here and ponder my inevitable grief-fuelled suicide Jimmy: hot Janis: soz you won't be around to 👀 Jimmy: 👻 Janis: a 👻 with a threesome to plan Jimmy: I won't be able to touch nowt so I might as well 👀 you 🔪⚰ Janis: love being 2nd choice Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Dan's missus is 🥈 you're 🥉 my dear Janis: fuck off and hurry up Jimmy: [Comes back with the masks like 😏 and of course puts hers on her even though she easily could herself but gotta have that whole MOMENT of him getting her hair out of the way first cos shamelessly loves touching it] Janis: [when this is somehow more intimate than anything you've done so far so you're like where do I put my eyes] Jimmy: [they're really sticky though and he isn't expecting it so he's like wtf and grossed out but then amused at himself and it's so cute bye] Janis: [yeah they're gross she's probably horrified so that'll break the tension just like what the fuck but lol too] Jimmy: [he's genuinely smiling and loling for the first time since god knows when] Janis: [when he's so cute you have to slap this ridiculous on his face fast] Jimmy: [what animals should they be? I think he should be a 🐼 cos lol] Janis: [that's a popular one, we can say there was a 🐱 'cos why not] Jimmy: [yass take your nerdy selfies lads] Janis: [when they'd still look cute too, arseholes] Jimmy: [I'm as fuming about that as Grace would be that he came to her room when she's been hiding all night] Janis: [things are only gonna get worse soz gurl] Janis: this is a great poker face Janis: [says something #shocking and ridiculous with the dead face it gives you to prove the point] Jimmy: [when you lol and yours slips cos they do and they are crap but you take it off and throw it at her anyway cos it's wet and gross and you hate it] Jimmy: decent weapon an' all Janis: [throwing it right back like excuse me] Janis: you're a child Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: if you wanna go home, phones over there, baby Janis: [throws the masks in the direction of like an animal] Jimmy: [moves like he's gonna get up and go but nudges her playfully instead like what's next] Janis: [ponders seriously] Janis: I need to get this gunk off me Janis: [pulls him up like follow me, does not need to be hand-holding but are going upstairs so you know, just in case] Jimmy: [love it and so does he] Janis: [I say get in that bathroom] Jimmy: [gets in the bath like he did at the party just watching her sort her face out] Janis: [looking at him via the mirror like what are you doing but amused not annoyed] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'What?' like he's not shamelessly looking at her] Janis: [nods like 'you want me to run that or?'] Jimmy: [just reclining in there like a nerd and shrugs] Janis: [shakes her head and comes over, acts like she's leaning over to turn the shower on, but doesn't and instead gets in the other end like, see why you like it so much] Jimmy: [does a hand movement like he's splashing her with imaginary water cos oi] Janis: ['nerd' 😏 but reclining and putting her feet in her lap like don't mind me] Janis: his* Jimmy: [just being soft instead doing the this little pig went to market thing to her toes quietly like it's meant to be under his breath but it's not his own funny version probably cos he is a nerd] Janis: [just letting this be even though being soft freaks you the fuck out on the low 'you're so weird, new kid' under her own but nudging him just in case he's forgotten that that's a ref and not a massive drag] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ah good times cos he obvs remembers 'feels like ages ago that'] Janis: ['yeah' and pausing 'cos truly, so much going down in such a short space of time 'didn't think you'd still be here- not in my bath, like'] Jimmy: [nods cos same] Janis: [when you feel the mood shift so you're like away from that topic 'we'll always have the playlist'] Jimmy: [he obvs puts it on cos that bitch but quietly so Mia and Co don't hear it over their music or film or whatever and judge] Janis: [just like what kinda mood music lol, just grooving lowkey 'well worth the A'] Jimmy: [😍 cos I can't stop him if she's gonna be that much of a babe] Janis: [hitting him back with a 'what?' but in a challenging kinda way] Jimmy: [getting out of the tub like he's just remembered he's still got that mask residue on his face which true but like you don't have to literally deal with it this second] Janis: [just stretching out and back, closing her eyes] Jimmy: [taking his t-shirt off cos he said he'd get his tits out and also it means he can throw it at her playfully before washing his face] Janis: [shook and then 😠 'it stinks' and throwing it back like okay it so clearly doesn't babe] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the fact you're lowkey worried that you do smell like oh no and because you're awks and you don't want her to know, pulling her up to sit on the edge of the bath so you can take a selfie kissing her whilst topless for the fans because that's as far as your contribution to bathgate has got so far] Jimmy: [but then you stop to make sure the bath looks aesthetic and generally faff like she did with the food earlier so excuse to go again for the re-do] Janis: [taking it and reposting it on your story with 😍 over his nips] Jimmy: [🙄 even though you're actually amused cos can't let that show] Janis: ['you wanna be x-rated?' at the 🙄] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well that depends what you mean even though he knows she ain't suggesting they get x-rated 'cause cheeky like that] Janis: [winks but then gets off of the edge of the bath, going through wherever all the bath lotions and potions are kept 'run it hot, lover boy'] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow but obviously does and draws the infamous love heart with JJ inside in the steam on the mirror] Janis: [bringing over an armful of shit and picking a bottle and pouring a stupid amount in, looking at him like, fill your boots] Jimmy: [when you have fun putting loads of shit in like when you're a kid and you make potions] Janis: [Grace gon' be fuming again, so soz but not really, when there's an aesthetic amount of bubbles and colour going on, taking a deep breath and hoping you did that quiet enough as you take your clothes off like in we get] Jimmy: [puts loud music on so you can pretend you're busy with that not 👀 at her] Janis: [at least there's sooo many bubbles to artfully place lol this is fine this is normal] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like are you sure because you're a soft good boy but you also don't wanna ask because it's gotta be all so fake and you don't care so you're just lowkey taking an age outside that tub pretending it's because you're getting the lighting and angles right and bollocks like that] Janis: [just letting him 'cos not trying to be a pushy bitch but also like, well I've done it now boy so 'you can leave your pants on' but in a tone of, again, I haven't so] Jimmy: [well we know he won't and doesn't cos there's a challenge there and they are always accepted] Janis: [when you don't wanna 👀 but also don't wanna make a massive point of turning away 'cos that's not chill and idgaf attitude so you focus on looking at his face and then instantly regret that 'cos eye contact like oh, we doing this] Jimmy: [such intense eye contact being maintained like okay we just eye fucking rn this is fine] Janis: [when anything and everything you could possibly say rn sounds like double entendre, like is it hot enough for you etc, so you just settle for 'okay?'] Jimmy: [can only nod because likewise can't trust himself to speak atm] Janis: [taking a picture of the bath setup to be like #boydonegood about it but you know you're just buying time before the actual show of it all] Jimmy: [letting that happen because not gonna be a dick about it] Janis: ['you're the photographer, how do we get the best shot?'] Jimmy: [you move boy because we don't need to force her to and have a bubble nip slip when we've only just begun but like obvs position her however you do need to because we're obvs taking this very seriously here and the cute concentration face is back] Janis: [just shamelessly watching him work, but definitely moving closer than he positioned you like is this okay, testing those limits honey] Jimmy: [just says 'Alright' like are you asking her as a question or are you saying you are or are you like we're ready, what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?' Boy you're so annoying] Janis: [splashes him, using the water to mess up his hair appropriately 'just take the photo then'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna be like 😒 oi but that's actually a good idea when it clicks what she's doing and you take the shameless excuse to be like 'hang on' and run your wet hands through her hair too and we all see you taking your time with that] Janis: [just not breathing 'til he's done 'how do we look?' and a LOOK 'cos you can see how he looks] Jimmy: ['you look-' only breaking that LOOK to stare at her lips honey 'goals, obvs' eventually gets said because focus boy but it's so not what he was gonna say goodbye] Janis: [when you're so frustrated the 'come on then' comes out so easily] Jimmy: [taking so many pics from so many different angles and kissing her in so many different ways like do you need to be this extra, the answer is no but also yes] Janis: [when you're going in, like you're ever uploading more than one of these each like yes, we need all these options] Jimmy: [like we all know at certain points the camera ain't even taking pics but they haven't noticed/ do not care] Janis: [we all know with the amount of shit you put in its gonna be slippery as hell so gonna allow you to legit slip further onto him without it being a shameless oopsies moment] Jimmy: [add to that how good it would feel to not just be stopping and starting like you've had to all night #dangerous] Janis: [when the pretense of making noise for them is so thin at this point like okay] Jimmy: [regretting putting that loud music on now aren't you boy because yeah good luck not making all the sounds ever rn that only she can hear] Janis: [we know no one is stopping to turn it down rn] Jimmy: [they wouldn't stop if the bath fell through the ceiling rn lol] Janis: [true that, just gently pulling him down so he's laying on her like are you even in frame] Jimmy: [we know he's not and nobody's bothered god bless] Janis: [how far are we letting this go/how do we stop 'em lol] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking cos like someone could knock on the bathroom door like excuse you but that might just encourage them more depending on who they think it is] Jimmy: [maybe one of them actually could slip because actually perilous?] Janis: [orrr what if they didn't actually lock the door 'cos when you're faking it'd be bants if they walked in but now it ain't so you'll both be mad] Jimmy: [AMAZING we simply must] Janis: [💀#2 enter] Jimmy: [when you literally can't get out of that bath regardless of what happens because too turned on and even if you grab a towel that's not really gonna hide anything so you're just like ...........] Janis: [at least you can take the lead like get the fuck out bitch Jimmy: [he'd be actually shook though cos like this early on there's a part of him that still doesn't realise how far the flat whites are willing to take shit but then oh hey girl] Janis: [they're just so immature truly, like when Liv was like WE'RE NOT IN YEAR 11 ANYMORE' to Mini lmao like y'all are but still, we're mature laydeez now] Jimmy: [honestly, Grace and Janis would have a reason to be stuck cos their sister died when they were 12, what's y'alls] Janis: [#eatingdisordersquad Jimmy: [And Mia's weird daddy's girl energy ew] Janis: [this is why y'all are only friends with each other, lordy] Jimmy: [I'm intrigued to know what Ava thinks because she didn't exist before and like] Janis: [she'd think they were really tragic and cringe but it's not like she has to hang with them longer than the odd event like Grace's bdays so she wouldn't be like umm your friends] Jimmy: [poor Grace in a toxic relationship with someone for a decade that she doesn't even get to bang] Janis: [come get your toxic friend 'fore she get drowned lmao] Jimmy: [you know Mia would cos can't resist] Janis: [well that's that ruined, just getting out towels and taking one so he can get dried in some semblance of privacy, like] Jimmy: [the levels of fuming] Janis: [some time] Janis: my room is upstairs again Jimmy: 👌 Janis: but if you wanna go Janis: get that Jimmy: And let 💀👑 win? Piss off Jimmy: You're the 🙀 Janis: How am I Jimmy: You scare easily, we worked that out ages ago Janis: Bollocks, you take the piss and have done for ages Jimmy: How do I? Janis: not scared of anything Janis: least of all 💀s Jimmy: Easy to 🗨 Janis: Not as easy to live Janis: but I manage Jimmy: Can you manage to think of owt that'll pay her back or what? Jimmy: You said they'll crash before us Janis: I'm thinking Janis: sure could make her piss herself or shave off her eyebrows but not 12 and it needs to be something better Jimmy: Duh Janis: Clearly not that duh Janis: can't blame 'em for lacking the mental capacities I guess but still will Jimmy: Can't think of nowt when you're starving to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: #relatable Janis: you're thinking of your stomach rn Jimmy: Yeah? Janis: so fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: convention down the hall, go learn some tips Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Hope you're dressed this time Jimmy: They don't so I obvs am Janis: Exactly Janis: probably time for more desperate measures Janis: restraining orders all 'round Jimmy: When should I date yours for, Jules? Jimmy: About a week from now or? Janis: Suits me Janis: works both ways Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where are you actually Janis: it's sinister creepin' about like a 👻 Jimmy: ? Janis: I like to know where everyone is Janis: know where to avoid Janis: don't need repeats Jimmy: I'm outside Jimmy: Avoid the 🚬☁ Janis: Will do Janis: add it to the score I'm keeping though Jimmy: Or just keep up Janis: I'm avoiding your secondhand smoke Janis: put it behind your ear, I'll find it Jimmy: Like I said 🙀 you Jimmy: And you're meant to inhale not bite down Jimmy: so I probably won't put it there Janis: Now who's the pussy Janis: and you told me to Janis: not standing the opposite end of the garden like an overgrown gnome Jimmy: still you then Jimmy: dark's nowt to be scared of, babe Janis: stop saying I'm scared, dickhead Janis: I'm just not a smoker Jimmy: since when, dickhead? Janis: since forever Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: I'm a convincing fake, I know Janis: nothing real about me, remember? Jimmy: 🙄👏🏆 Janis: not that impressive a quote, honestly Janis: you've said better Jimmy: You've done better Janis: 💔 Janis: so sorry Jimmy: I'll be here with the orchestra lads Jimmy: [sends her a little vid of him doing a 🎻 mime] Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: keep that one between us Janis: dunno what that'd imply about the last post but nothing good Jimmy: ❌ my 💘 Janis: deflate your ego more like Janis: can't have you walking 'round like pinhead Jimmy: What ego? Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: Fake dating you, aren't I? Janis: Yeah Janis: you're so lucky Jimmy: Desperate more like Janis: That's obvious Jimmy: Gotta keep it #goals baby Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: can't get enough ever, me Janis: Already said you're fat Janis: preferences in common with them is no surprise to me Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: will have to go home for a 😭😭 Janis: Enjoy Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Enjoy your 🚬 oh wait nah Jimmy: Enjoy the IOU Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: Like you're the only boy with bad habits and a lighter Jimmy: Cavemen invented 🔥 so you'll be grand 🍀 girl Jimmy: if you 🍑📞 party boy now I can kick his uber soon as he gets out, job done Janis: I wanna be disappointed twice in one day like you wanna hang 'round this place Jimmy: so crack on Janis: Funny Jimmy: the joke is I'm still waiting for you to think up a proper idea to piss off them lot Jimmy: sort it out Janis: night's still young Janis: and where's your idea Jimmy: I get it, I look half decent for 45, stop flirting with me and concentrate Janis: What ego? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: I don't know Janis: the problem is everything pisses them off Janis: Grace cries at the drop of a hat, for fuck's sake Janis: it's too easy Jimmy: Alright, what if we give 'em something they really want instead Janis: Self-esteem and good hair? Jimmy: Something they reckon they want but they don't want from us Jimmy: Your gin trick but amplified Jimmy: 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: I see what you're saying Janis: bit too soon to hand out invites to the fake wedding Janis: but if you can stomach it, we can give them the attention they're after Jimmy: 🥇 me Jimmy: Nowt I can't handle Jimmy: Or stomach 'cause I'm obvs such a fat git Janis: if the XXL fits Janis: right, let's go invite ourselves to the sleepover, then 🤢 Jimmy: But it looks better on you, girl 💕 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: you just wanna get your tits out again Jimmy: for you 😘 Janis: I'm sure I won't be able to keep my hands off you, covered titties and company be damned Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: What if this backfires? Jimmy: might reckon I'm bored of you and wanna swap you for my truest love Jimmy: bit too real that Janis: You'll have to resist flirting with them, obviously Janis: but you aren't any good at it so I doubt that'll be an issue Janis: just try not to embarrass yourself Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm just saying if we're so 💕😍😘 why are we getting involved in their bollocks? Janis: Because, I'm such a nice person, and we're so sorry and so embarrassed about earlier? Jimmy: make it at least make fake sense, Jasmine Jimmy: But alright Janis: I don't wanna fuck any of them Janis: sorry 'bout it Janis: I don't know how else you reckon we can 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: soz you think you saw us fucking gift baskets Jimmy: Alright, shut up, I might be overthinking it Jimmy: Soz I'm proper 🧠 Janis: What was that about fake sense? Jimmy: What was that about you doing shit 'cause I told you to? Jimmy: 🤐 mate Janis: That's only when I wanted to do the thing anyway Janis: great at giving me excuses, you Jimmy: You wanna have a lovely chat with 'em all then, do you? Jimmy: Sound Janis: suit you if I did Janis: any excuse to ruin their night Jimmy: Suit me if we didn't have to do any talking Jimmy: I'm that romantic, obvs Janis: Done that part Janis: and you were given an out so you've got no room to complain Jimmy: Where and when was I? Janis: I've literally told you to piss off three times Jimmy: And I've told you I ain't letting 💀👑 reckon she scared me off Jimmy: Or reckon I just leave after we're done like every lad she hasn't 🐍 Janis: Alright, your choice Janis: why do you wanna look like an 😇 Jimmy: Why do you want me to look like a twat? Janis: It doesn't make you seem like a twat Jimmy: It makes it seem like a 🍑📞 that ain't what this is Janis: Obviously not Janis: we are love's young dream 🙄 Janis: my parents are only on a date night themselves though so we're gonna have to get in my room and hide you sooner rather than later Jimmy: If you want me to go, say that Janis: I don't care what you do Janis: I'm stuck regardless Janis: just saying, it's a rule, you said that Jimmy: What it is is a 🥇 excuse not to make the 💀💀💀 with 💕 a well slow death Janis: Come on then Janis: mercy kill it is Jimmy: [Appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [avoiding eye contact like it's your job, just a nod like alright and making your way to Grace's room] Jimmy: [pulling her back like hold my hand bitch] Janis: [Clove has entered the chat, also Winnie] Jimmy: [don't think about how he'd look in whatever he packed to wear to sleep] Janis: [don't you think about it ladies, low-key giving 'em evils even though you gotta be nice Jimmy: [I'm loling because Mia would want to tell them to fuck off cos fuming he's still here but what Grace says goes because it's her house bitch and we know she loves Janis more than you so] Janis: [when you're tipsy and just happy they're here to save your night 'cos your friends have just been talking about 'em and boring you lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Jimmy: [they should be painting their nails because ofc and Grace be like offering to do Janis' cos ILY and Jimmy's like I'll do it cos that's the kind of pinterest bullshit but like he'd obvs do a good job cos artsy hoe and pick a colour she actually fucks with] Janis: [just prolonging hand-holding, we all see you boy] Jimmy: [return of the adorable concentration face] Janis: [we love to see it, when we're sneaking peeps] Jimmy: [Grace putting it on her story to do the work for you lads, Mia be raging] Janis: [hohaha, also blatantly gotta paint his 🖤] Jimmy: [Asia offering him the dregs of the gin back but he's like 'I'm alright' and 😍 at Janis cos so #nice and #lovedup bye] Janis: [smuggest happy face] Jimmy: [a little kiss that you so don't need to give her] Janis: [all pouting like you didn't gatecrash their night] Jimmy: [soz Grace you've done nothing wrong tonight but your friends suck] Janis: [we all know she's having more fun now like soz we're just doing this to piss 'em off] Jimmy: [nothing could ever piss Mia off more than how obvs it is that Grace would rather hang out with JJ so thanks babe] Janis: [doing us a solid] Jimmy: [what other cringe activities can we make coupley af?] Janis: [we could play some kind of game, as they are that childish, idk what] Jimmy: [Mia could suggest like never have I ever or something to that effect cos they're all hoes and they think Janis is such a virgin so she wants to show her up] Janis: [that's a good idea, and they could keep saying really mushy romantic things like #awh 'cos that'll really piss her off] Jimmy: [turn it around on her cos you've never had a bf have you babe so] Janis: [awkwar silence descends lmao] Jimmy: [soz again Grace] Janis: [Asia got her man god bless] Jimmy: [Grace would so end up going off to the bathroom or wherever upset so Mia would be buzzing] Janis: 😬 Janis: she doesn't have feelings to hurt Jimmy: You should go after her before 💀👑 does Jimmy: proper 😇 Janis: Ugh Janis: pains me that you're right Janis: on so many levels Janis: [goes] Jimmy: oughta be used to it by now, mate Janis: 1. ha Janis: 2. it's more about how badly I don't want to console her than it is about admitting you've ever had a good idea Janis: 3. massive headed twat Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: And I miss you already too Janis: you can run down a single flight of stairs and not get winded, yeah Janis: should you need to 🔪🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: Is the 🔪 in my back or nah? Janis: I dunno where they'll wanna stick it first, babe Jimmy: hot Janis: if you say so Jimmy: I've still got a 💀💀💀 wish, baby, where's yours gone? Janis: you clearly don't get how much it kills me being nice to my sister Jimmy: I never said owt about being nice Jimmy: 💀👑 wouldn't be if she'd taken the job off you Janis: I'm not gonna give her a pep talk about how more dick the better either, tah Jimmy: Get your boyfriend on the line, he'll be up for having a go Janis: You're very helpful Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: Be why Asia's asking me how to make her lad more #goals Janis: She's shameless Janis: sadly don't have his # either or I'd dob her in Jimmy: @ [whatever his actual socials are idk because of course he knows that the shady bitch] Janis: 😂 okay gossip girl Jimmy: xoxo Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll anon it at him Janis: as I've got a rep as such a nice person Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh Janis: he's unfortunate looking Jimmy: Did you think he'd be more 🤴 than 🐸? Jimmy: Come on Janis: 🐸 is generous Janis: tadpole, like Janis: I thought he'd at least have to be fit Janis: if she was airing you Jimmy: Piss off Janis: SHE 👏 HAS 👏 A 👏 BOYFRIEND 👏 Jimmy: I hate you Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: come back Janis: they're being that bad huh Jimmy: whatever you wanna call trying to dance with me, that'll do Janis: how horrific Janis: pick up your phone Janis: [calling him so they can hear being like 'we need your help to carry this' 'cos gone to make hot chocolates to cheer her] Jimmy: [a coupley af phone moment because those couples who stay on the phone til he's literally a step away from her] Janis: [nerds] Jimmy: [gives Mia the biggest mug like fuck you] Janis: [definitely put loads of baileys in and cream the whole works like drink up bitch] Jimmy: [chin chin gals] Janis: [sipping like 😏 getting cream moustaches then smooching 'em off, disgusting] Jimmy: [also they should dance cos he refused to dance with y'all] Janis: [obvs] Jimmy: [her like nah so he can be like oh please I really wanna, just to really annoy them] Janis: ['cos real also what a mental image like are you all gonna watch or are you gonna dance with each other like what's going on gals] Jimmy: [gaaaaaaaay] Janis: [just bopping sadly alone with your hot chocolate, amusement] Jimmy: [we all know Jimothy just wants to pick her up again so] Janis: [please 'fall' down onto the bed like whoops what are we like] Jimmy: [100%] Janis: [Mia's eyes boutta pop out] Jimmy: [Also Asia should 100% get a call from her man rn] Jimmy: [Jimmy trying not to cackle] Janis: [just biting your tongue so hard] Janis: 🙈 Jimmy: we need to go Janis: you don't wanna witness the downfall of your nemesis? Janis: I can always tickle you again Jimmy: You can try 💪 Janis: [does 'cos being that annoying like soz you're on the phone we're just so 😍] Jimmy: [lets it happen because he needs to lol and NO other reason NOPE] Janis: [try not to cackle lads] Jimmy: [HAS TO kiss her so he doesn't again no other reason so] Janis: [definitely not actually enjoying that, definitely doesn't have to stop it kinda abruptly 'cos will get carried away, no] Jimmy: [when you're like ? but you can't say or do anything because that audience but then 💡 you quickly trace an o and a k on her with a question mark sneakily like because I love when he does that] Janis: [just squeezing his hand like a yeah but drawing a 😒 face] Jimmy: [a genuine smile even though he should also be 😒] Janis: [I think Asia should run out to talk with her mans then come in crying so they can leave lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [ended that relationship whoops, run and lol run and lol] Jimmy: [don't be too happy tho boy you don't want her to think you actually wanna get with Asia] Janis: [she's gonna be on you harder than ever boy, oh my, like new boy guess what, god bless] Jimmy: [oh lord imagine] Janis: [at least she's not 💀👑 levels of snek, just dumb and tragic] Jimmy: [lowkey reminds him of his ex not in a 😍 way lol] Janis: [oh dear, getting to where the stairs are like 'lounge or my room?'] Jimmy: [shrug because can't answer a question] Janis: [nudges him like make a decision, boy] Jimmy: [nudges her back like no you] Janis: [looks at her non-existent watch and then pulls him up the stairs to her room] Jimmy: [off you go lads] Janis: [like cali could be home at any moment but not really #shameless] Jimmy: [you two and your flimsy excuses, love it] Janis: [is this the first time in her room?] Jimmy: [yeah because the other first time we did is when they actually hook up if memory serves so way after this] Janis: [enjoy that, boy] Jimmy: [we know his is no better and he can't judge] Janis: [at least there's shit still there from when you cared, shrugs and gestures 'round just like put some music on, do what you want] Jimmy: [👀 around like he's a nosy bitch but actually just doesn't know what to do with himself] Janis: ['you found plenty to fake do down there' 😏 but masking that you are awks too] Jimmy: [gets a pen and paper and starts doodling giving her a look like you happy now? all 😏 cos so awks] Janis: [sticks her tongue out at him, laying down and scrolling her phone 'cos we know it's popping off from #bathgate] Jimmy: [throws a paper airplane at her] Janis: ['excuse me?' sitting up, resting on her elbows like so #shook 'I'm checking we're still relevant, can I help you?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos they both know there's no need to check and it's all happening rn like my boo said] Janis: [mimes his head blowing up bigger and bigger then exploding, we all know she was just looking at the pictures again shh] Jimmy: [mimes a gun to his head then a dramatic fake death] Janis: [crawls over to where he is like she's gonna lick up the blood] Jimmy: [does a 🕆 with his fingers cos she such a vampire] Janis: [mimes a hiss like how dare you] Jimmy: [sets up a game of hangman on the paper and pushes it over to her] Janis: [😏 and writes down 'I?'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -I-] Janis: ['E'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -IE] Janis: ['D' 'cos got your number boy] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I DIE] Janis: [lols 'L'] Jimmy: [what bit do you draw first when there isn't I've forgotten] Janis: [the pole that goes up] Janis: [pouts 'S'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - -ISS I DIE] Janis: ['K' 'cos also got your number and a LOOK] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - KISS I DIE and blowing her a kiss IRL like we gotta keep this sassy and light] Janis: [buzzing 'cos you gonna win lol 'A'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- A KISS I DIE] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [T--S -IT- A KISS I DIE] Janis: [fills in the rest because now obvious 'THUS WITH A KISS I DIE' 😏 and also hanging the stickman still and making him look like him with shades and floppy hair and a leather jacket] Jimmy: [draws a stick person her crying but also a vicar and they've both got rings on and there's confetti and she's wearing a wedding veil etc cos throwback to the easter rising when she married that dude] Janis: [draws a union jack flag in the vicar's hand, then a knife in his 💘 and then draws a vial under her tears with ☠ and 'POISON' on the label] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [adds vampire fangs to herself and two little holes on his hanged neck like excuse me thank you] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [lays back down 'what else do you wanna play?'] Jimmy: [lies down too LOOKING at her 'What do you wanna play?'] Janis: [stops breathing for a sec, bye but turns it into serious thinking face] Jimmy: [just staring at her, waiting but like why you gotta be so hot doing that boy] Janis: ['don't have any new games' casting her eyes over to whatever the last console she got was before she stopped giving a shit about everything 'you can talk about girls for-' invisible watch again '-five minutes, if you wanna, northern boy'] Jimmy: [talks about how much he hates Mia for a 5 minute rant lol, lying down staring up at the ceiling] Janis: [when you're so 😍 unironically thank god he's not looking] Jimmy: [nudges her when he's done like it's your go] Janis: [quick snap into a 😏 'you stole my bitch' and nudging him back then turning her eyes to the ceiling and talking about Grace instead] Jimmy: [takes his turn to talk about 💀#2 because still fuming about bathgate not that he's gonna rant about that, be careful please] Janis: [just nodding like mhmm preach then takes her turn to talk about Asia but like, try not to mention you're potentially jealous of her 'cos he might like her] Jimmy: [throws something at her like he's so offended she's slagging off his bae] Janis: ['so chivalrous!' 'cos he hit her with whatever she's now gonna hit him back with, let us assume a pillow fight for the cliche] Jimmy: [yas we need that shameless flirty MOMENT] Janis: [doing it, pinning him and tickling him like 'admit you love Asia'] Jimmy: [when you just flip reverse it 💪 so you're doing the same to her 'admit you're jealous of our true love'] Janis: [getting out a 'never!' between your lols] Jimmy: [opening and closing his mouth cos was blatantly gonna say something but then aborted mission] Janis: [reaching up and opening and closing his mouth yourself a few times like a 🐟 'catching flies, Taylor?'] Jimmy: [just sniffing her dramatically like 🤔 and giving her a look like you're not that bad] Janis: [punches his arm but vaguely affectionately lol 'how could either of us stink after that bath full of shit'] Jimmy: ['answered your own question there'] Janis: ['We smell like unicorn farts and rainbow dreams, obviously, did you not read the labels?] Jimmy: ['Too Northern'] Janis: ['Too distracted' under your breath like who said that] Jimmy: ['What?' Even though he 100% heard] Janis: ['See' and poking him in the chest like, you just proved my point there, not paying attention] Jimmy: [moves her finger down to his stomach shaking his head like he's so hungry and deprived of promised snacks that he can't possibly survive nevermind concentrate] Janis: [🙄 and poking his stomach harder, bit rude, 'come on then fatty' and wriggling out from under him, where she still is btw, gesturing like come on] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna leave this room and risk seeing either flat whites or her parents so you've got such a lil pout on 'shit host, you'] Janis: [a look like really 'lazy and all, chat shit about my rich girl work ethic ever again...' 😏 and goes to forage] Jimmy: [throws the pillow at her as she goes cos so mature] Janis: I'm taking all the good snacks now Jimmy: I'll have 'em off your 💀💀💀 body when you get 🔪🔪 Jimmy: bit of blood ain't gonna hurt nowt Janis: I've turned you Janis: not gay Janis: just vampire Janis: should've had your ear off and ended you there and then Jimmy: brb gotta send that tweet Jimmy: #notgayjustvampire Jimmy: what a read Janis: you would wanna be that couple Janis: not rawring at people with you Jimmy: I've got the fucking 💅 for it Janis: deny that you love it Jimmy: You really want me to throw my 💕 about tonight, eh? Janis: Not calling you a slag Janis: or am I Jimmy: can do Jimmy: be a misread but what ain't with you Janis: Doesn't feel like a #kinkunlocked to me Janis: and you're the one who claims he can't Jimmy: Claim I can't do loads of things but here we are Janis: Total opposite, bighead Janis: so rare you aren't bigging yourself up like the complex is so real Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I get that it would be easier to fake this if I was more your type but 💔 Janis: You can't say I haven't faked it perfectly Janis: everyone believes it Jimmy: That weren't what I were saying Janis: What were you saying then, elaborate Jimmy: for a start that the locked door ain't the only appeal of a bathroom for your boyfriend Jimmy: 🎻 that every surface weren't mirrored Janis: 🙄 Why do you keep bringing him up Jimmy: Why don't you want me to? Janis: because I don't like thinking about him, never mind talking about him Janis: he's at a lot of parties, I'm sure you'll get a chance to see him again, like calm down Jimmy: It weren't me who wanted to 👀 that dickhead Janis: Me either, obviously Janis: well busy looking at myself, does that suit you? Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: What? Jimmy: What? Janis: What would you like me to say? That I love him? Or even fancy him? 'Cos I don't so I'm not going to just 'cos you need me to, for some reason Jimmy: Why would I need that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: It's bollocks Janis: Then you can stop bringing him up Jimmy: I can do what I like, tah Janis: Alright, be obsessed with him Janis: I don't have to listen Jimmy: keep being a dickhead Jimmy: you obvs can't help it Janis: 🙄 Janis: good one Janis: I never said I weren't and I've done fuck all wrong Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: I'm just gonna go Jimmy: They don't need to know I have Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll get you a ride Jimmy: It's alright Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: I said it's alright Janis: I got you out here, I can get you back too Jimmy: I can get myself back, I'm in no rush Janis: The buses have stopped coming out this way and you are miles from yours Janis: take the ride Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: Why are you being a dickhead for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: Yeah, alright Janis: Yeah, you Janis: if you don't want the ride, then use my bed and wait 'til the AM Janis: you'll be left alone Jimmy: I don't want your bed either Janis: then take another one, this house is filled with fucking empty ones Jimmy: that's not creepy Janis: I have siblings that've fucked off Janis: that's all Janis: guest rooms are the reward for having lots of kids Jimmy: bit late for my dad to crack on there but I'll @ him any road Janis: never too late for blokes Jimmy: Northern 40s is rest of the world's 90s Janis: Still Jimmy: Still, he can't keep a bird for any length Jimmy: it's all stacking up Janis: you're gutted, clearly Janis: who doesn't want nine brothers and sisters Jimmy: Love raising his kids for him, me Jimmy: Why not do it a load more times? Got nowt else on Janis: After the 5th you can delegate Janis: your sister is definitely old enough Jimmy: Tah for the insider trading tips Janis: what are friends for Jimmy: Do you want a real or fake answer? Janis: why would you need to fake it Janis: not being wire-tapped here Jimmy: I might be wearing one 👮🚔 Janis: Her word is only law if you've not got the upper body strength or brain function to fight her off Janis: so go ahead Jimmy: You admitting I have? Janis: I'm admitting I'd know if you were working for or with Mia Janis: she's not as smart as she thinks and I'm not a fucking idiot Jimmy: And I ain't got enough upper body strength or brain function for that many jobs Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: You're exhausted just thinking about it Janis: relatable Jimmy: I'm sorry for bringing him up, alright? Janis: Alright Janis: I just don't get it Janis: like yeah it was a dick move but you don't reckon I was punished thoroughly enough or what? Jimmy: it's nowt like that Jimmy: I just Janis: Well it's alright, forget about it Jimmy: maybe I don't get it an' all Janis: Yeah Janis: I get that Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course Janis: much as it pains me to admit I don't know everything, like Jimmy: I won't send that tweet Janis: Cheers Jimmy: come back Janis: Okay Janis: [back with the snacks] Jimmy: [going through 'em so you don't have to look at her rn] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [raising his head like ?] Janis: ['I-' and stopping 'just-' and again, before settling on 'don't go and get lost, alright, I'd almost feel bad'] Jimmy: ['alright' and shoving her a controller for whatever console she has so they can play retro games and be competitive about it for a bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [as is throwing snacks into each other's mouths so simply must] Janis: [all the competitiveness] Jimmy: [speaking of I'm gonna do another hangman cos she guessed that one too fast for his liking, hold onto your hat bitch] Janis: [it was fun honey] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- - -------- --- -- ---] Janis: ['A'] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- a -------- -a- -- ---] Janis: ['Y'] Jimmy: [-- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay -- ---] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['S'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- s--- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['D'] Jimmy: [t- d-- -y y--- s-d- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- d--] Janis: ['IE' 'cos we can sense a theme lol] Jimmy: [pout like how you gonna guess two letters bitch but we doing it] Jimmy: [t- die -y y--- -ide is s--- a -ea-e--- -ay t- die] Jimmy: [*side I can't type bye] Janis: [sings it at him] Jimmy: [when we know she's a good singer but he don't cos karaoke ain't happened yet so control your 😍 by drawing the hanged person but as 💔 Asia this time dropping a phone with a speech bubble of whatever bollocks they heard her boyfriend say] Janis: [draws him as a tadpole having a party in a pond with lady frogs and fishes] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: ['do you reckon I should feel bad about breaking them up?' shoving more snacks in her face, like] Jimmy: [when you give her such a wtf no look 'do they feel bad about wishing we would?' doesn't give her chance to answer cos obvs a rhetorical question 'there's your answer, like'] Janis: [shrugs like yeah, true 'but their love is so real' but rolls her eyes 'cos I doubt they were ever #goals] Jimmy: [shrugs back does a 💔 with his hands 'nowt I can't fix' and winks] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [goes to her window and opens it really wide to 🚬 leaning out dangerously far so he doesn't get any smoke in her room cos still doesn't wanna leave and see anyone] Janis: [comes to the window and looks out 'their car ain't back' like does that mean get out or] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh no cali are coming for their 👑 by being so goals] Janis: [makes a face like don't] Jimmy: [goes to pass her the 🚬 like a peace offering but then is like oh you obvs don't want it my bad kinda takeback gesture cos what she said before about only faking it] Janis: [walks away 'cos stubborn] Jimmy: [just 🚬 and watching the 🐈s outside casually] Janis: [just back playing a solo game, pretending you ain't pouting] Jimmy: [sending her highlights of bathgate even though she's already seen them all cos shamelessly like pay attention to me] Janis: good thing we ain't in school Janis: last time they got this excited over a #scandal they put Jesy Halls in isolation for weeks Jimmy: You don't wanna be in isolation? Jimmy: fakest bollocks you've ever chatted Janis: You know they'd put you in and leave me out to get torn apart Janis: ⭐ Jimmy: what you get for being such an athlete Jimmy: and hey, might learn your name while I'm in there so it ain't all bad Janis: What you get for being so soft Janis: think of my mystique, would ya Jimmy: keep that to yourself, tah, it'll make us both look properly un-goals Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Go on, might get to eat some snacks myself if you're struggling Janis: Fuck off Janis: I'm not encouraging you to talk about your dick so you can 🐽 Jimmy: you started it Janis: Nah Janis: why would I ever bring that up Jimmy: Why did you just? You tell me, girl Janis: 😒 Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: You're easy to annoy Janis: I think you'll find most sane people don't wanna discuss your genitals Janis: just them downstairs Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you're buzzing Janis: be sneaking down in a few Jimmy: busted me Janis: mhmm Janis: wouldn't be a good real cheat, you Jimmy: my dad's got that covered Jimmy: I don't want 🥈 Janis: fair enough Janis: Freud's all over that statement Jimmy: he can be next for a 👻🥊 Janis: this is what comes of violent games Janis: [throws a bag of snack at him] Jimmy: [catches it like 😏] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: are you nearly done Janis: freezing here Janis: [in your short shorts] Jimmy: [wasn't done but gets done immediately cos #whipped] Janis: [gets under the covers] Jimmy: [comes over and tucks her in like a nerd] Janis: [allows this to happen like you're gonna go sleep 😊] Jimmy: [just sitting on the edge of the bed like when you tell a kid a story] Janis: ['you do this a lot, like'] Jimmy: [looks at her like what?] Janis: [looks down like tucking in] Jimmy: [shrugs like it's so casual cos she knows he's got a little brother from the pool awks] Janis: ['never stop, eh'] Jimmy: [looks at his phone cos still blowing up and back at her like so many jobs so little time] Janis: [tugs on his sleeve gently like lay down 'they'll be consoling her for hours still yet'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: ['you want me to go?' quiet and soft like he's asleep already 'I do have 2 cigarettes to smoke now so'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' because can't answer a q but also obvs does not want that but thinks she does] Janis: [shrugs 'cos like no but do you want me to lol, so helpful] Jimmy: ['it's your bed' and what boy you're not helpful either] Janis: ['you want a tour of all the free ones?'] Jimmy: ['Which one's most worth haunting?'] Janis: [a look like that's easy but then a 🤔 face 'but you're pretty chicken so' and rolling over like night then] Jimmy: [shoves her like oi] Janis: [loling 'don't push me out of bed, how ungoals, you twat'] Jimmy: [literally rolls her back over to face him #excuse you 'answer me, dickhead'] Janis: [when that was hot so you're like literally give me a moment here so you wriggle down under the covers so he can't see you 'alright, I'll show you but I can't promise the ghost will come out' muffled by the duvet like hello] Jimmy: [lifts the covers up and peeping at her like ? and has cupped his ear like what? because one ear jokes 5ever] Janis: [coming out the bottom of the bed like can't catch me 'come on scaredy cat' and we all know what room we going to] Jimmy: [can't catch her ever but can chuck a hoodie at her because she's so cold and it might slow her down a bit] Janis: [puts it on and pretend swoons 'trying to cash in some hero points now, I see'] Jimmy: ['just don't want you to freeze to death before we get there, Jennifer, can't be arsed with throwing myself down the stairs right this second'] Janis: [pouts and grabs his face like n'awh 'but we could frame them, where's your sense of fun, honestly'] Jimmy: [pushes her off but then is like 😏 looking at her like good idea and picks her up as if he's gonna chuck her down the stairs] Janis: [playfighting like get off me boy 'as if I'd let you go 2nd'] Jimmy: [we love a playfight moment 'as if you reckon you call the shots'] Janis: [the most dramatic 'pfft!' and just rolling further towards the stairs like actually be careful please 'but you love coming first usually'] Jimmy: [does a mime locking his lips like don't tell anyone that, very ungoals, boy stop making it sexual again thank you 'depends, time and a place, you know, Jules'] Janis: [rolls her eyes but is 😳 'How can I trust you'll go through with it, besides, Romeo dies first, I fake it, you do it for real, then I do, stick to the script'] Jimmy: ['fake something for me that convincingly and I might do'] Janis: [just looking at him 'rude'] Jimmy: [a LOOK back at her] Janis: ['you can't tell me those pictures weren't convincing' 'cos we know it's still popping off] Jimmy: ['I sorted them' okay boy we gonna act like just cos you did all the camera shit she didn't do anything? Really now] Janis: ['it was my idea, and you wouldn't have any pictures on your own so'] Jimmy: [a shrug but we all know he's still looking at her, like oh jimothy what kind of challenge do you think you can lay down right here right now that'll top bathgate you simply can't] Janis: ['so, it's your turn to think of something, actually' but getting up and going to Edie's room, which is thankfully not a creepy shrine moment] Jimmy: [Follows her obvs] Janis: [it's probably less of a guest room more of a quiet chill room for if they wanted to go think about her, that seems like some hippie shit, so obviously no one goes in here though 'cos no thanks lol, gestures like 'this is the ghost room, can you feel it?' so sarky] Jimmy: [just making himself comfy in there because he don't know] Janis: [when this was a bad idea but you have to front it out and sit down like] Jimmy: [when you're so busy trying to think of something to top bathgate that you're oblivious] Janis: [at least you can lean in to pressuring him just making tick tock noises with your tongue like] Jimmy: [he'd do such a fake OMG STOP like when she was being tickled in front of the fans] Janis: [just gets closer to the ear she didn't bite so it's louder] Jimmy: [when you wanna lol but you don't wanna give her the satisfaction so you gotta bite your lip like it's okay I'm just thinking here, total accident that he looks really hot doing it soz Janis] Janis: [just shamelessly looking 'not meant to eat yourself, such a rookie' 😏] Jimmy: ['if anyone can recognise owt like that, it'd be you'] Janis: ['duh, I turned you, I'm like your mistress' raises brows 'or daddy, if you prefer'] Jimmy: ['Don't be telling my missus I've got one of them, tah, right rookie mistake that'd be, she already reckons me and her are well fake' does a what can you do, women eh, kinda gesture]] Janis: ['I don't reckon she knows you've got a name' shakes head like imagine that 'enjoy being on the other side of that one, babe'] Jimmy: [😏 'Sounds alright to me, that'] Janis: [🙄 but not that mad ever] Jimmy: [zips up the hoodie for her like how you possibly be annoyed at such a 😇] Janis: [pulls is back down justto be that bitch but then you look like you wanna be undressed in front of him so you pull it up and down a few times like a bit] Jimmy: ['you break it, you've bought it, rich girl' but clearly amused] Janis: [shrugs 'meant to let me keep it anyway'] Jimmy: ['You want me to freeze to death, that's the big plan, eh?' cos she'd have the school trip one already] Janis: [nods but is lol 'how else will everyone know you love me?'] Jimmy: [100% has to give her a new lovebite because I can't not if you're gonna say stuff like that Janis] Janis: [just like 'of course' but with feeling 'cos always covered low-key and we know it 'what about you, what do you want?'] Jimmy: [when you give her another one because that's what you want and we all know it but then you have to look at her like ? as if you weren't listening] Janis: [just gripping the sofa you're on so tightly so you can otherwise pretend this is so casual, tracing your finger 'round and 'round his ear lobe like 'yours healed ages ago...'] Jimmy: ['Have another go then' yeah this is so casual bye] Janis: [does, with vigour lol] Jimmy: [his turn to abuse the sofa] Janis: [admiring your handiwork 'bruises don't lie' and giving him back the hoodie like there you go] Jimmy: ['No need for you to lie either' cos she was cold and putting it back on her because I love a hair lift moment especially because he won't jump back 6 ft like when he did that exact thing on school trip #progress] Janis: [the state of the hair after all this we can only assume, going to put it up or something like ugh 'I don't lie, ever' fully aware of the irony ;cos of their fake dating deal like 😇] Jimmy: [irl 👌 so sarky] Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [when she's so cute and you can see so much of her neck now she's moved her hair and you're just like don't 😳] Janis: [motioning for him to pass her a cigarette and getting up 'ghost ain't coming, soz mate' 'cos definitely needs it now] Jimmy: [puts one behind her ear cos can't be tamed about touching her needlessly ever] Janis: ['you want my second one? as I don't smoke' as she's going to go downstairs] Jimmy: [takes one for himself as an unspoken yes] Janis: [kinda wanna make cali come back to be evil[ Jimmy: [do it gal] Janis: [they'll just say hi but she'll be fuming lol] Jimmy: [and he'll be wanting to run away] Janis: [at least its dark so you can sit here bright red, angrily smoking in silence] Jimmy: I'll fuck off home, say the word Janis: You can Janis: they won't wake you up for breakfast and awkward small talk though Jimmy: That where you get being a shit host from? Janis: Funny Jimmy: Could at least fake 😂 for me then, babe Janis: [😑 at him] Janis: convincing, yeah? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: don't give me pity medals Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have another go Janis: [a look that's half a LOOK and half don't] Janis: lost track of time, didn't reckon they'd be back 🤷 Janis: they couldn't see you so it don't count as meeting, right Jimmy: no 👻 about tonight Janis: yeah Janis: go if you have to Jimmy: I'll go if you want me to Janis: [say Cali's room also faces the front, nodding to the windows] Janis: go in once their light is on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hope one of 'em has been sick or something Janis: doubt it'll be as pretty and pink coming back up Jimmy: [when we know that'll make him feel sick but not gonna see the greenish tint in the dark so stay 💪 boy and throw a stone at Grace's window to see if there's any life in there] Janis: 🙄 oh great Janis: give 'em ideas, lover boy Jimmy: I can't help missing her, alright? Jimmy: [dramatically fake pining] Janis: Disgusting Janis: [but a small half-smile Jimmy: [nudges her gently like hey that's at least a small 🏆] Janis: [nudes him like piss off but it's as gently] Jimmy: [just staying leaned into her a lil bit like be comforted] Janis: Proper soft, you Janis: could make yourself useful and find some fuel so I can set the place on fire whilst all my worst enemies are inside Jimmy: can't stop lying, you Jimmy: I'm well hard, me Jimmy: [plucks at the hoodie she's wearing like this is so cheap it'll burn right up] Janis: [looks down like hmm 🤔] Janis: you give to take away, only just got this hoodie back Jimmy: [nods at a passing cat like there you go instead then] Janis: [snorts] Jimmy: I were thinking Jimmy: it's not about arson but Janis: disappointing Janis: but go on Jimmy: could've waited til you'd heard it to 💔 me Janis: tell me Jimmy: I dunno, just Jimmy: might not be the massive-stly shit idea to try and be mates Jimmy: for as long as I'm here and this Janis: Wait, are you friendzoning me, Taylor? 😂 Janis: [actually 😂] Jimmy: [is pouting actually] Janis: [pats his shoulder like my bad] Janis: Sorry, that's just not what I expected you to say Jimmy: I've changed my mind now, dickhead Janis: Probably for the best Janis: if you can't handle that, like Janis: insert that quote here Jimmy: weren't likely to handle nowt for long but you're alright Janis: I don't need mates and you don't want me as one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Let's go in then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [stops off in the kitchen to get more drink first] Jimmy: [does not follow her for the first time ever] Janis: don't you want a nightcap? Jimmy: Is it a) pretty or b) pink? Janis: That's long gone, boy Jimmy: So what's the point, like? Janis: You know I've seen you drink drinks that aren't flat white approved before, yeah? Jimmy: Don't sound like me or very #goals to me Janis: I'll leave the bottle here then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Don't be in a mood Jimmy: Or what? You'll be in a bigger one? Janis: I'm not in a mood Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: Why are you in one? Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: Stick to the script, Jodie, we've got no rules but that Janis: Suit yourself Jimmy: tah for stating the obvious Jimmy: it were like Asia was here for a bit Janis: How lovely for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Fuck sake Janis: you can't give me any time to react, no Jimmy: you can have loads, we're off the clock Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: nah Janis: Yeah Janis: I said I didn't know you were gonna say that Jimmy: like you said an' all, bad idea Jimmy: we can leave it out Janis: right, cheers Jimmy: you're right, take the 🏆 Janis: Leave it out, like you said Jimmy: lasses first Janis: Whatever Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: nowt about any of this has ever been owt else Janis: No need to tell me Jimmy: you're trying to tell me Janis: I'm trying to tell you fuck all Janis: what's the point Jimmy: 🙀 Janis: I'm not the one that's scared Janis: or taking back what I said Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm taking it back 'cause you're a knobhead Janis: You knew that before you said it Jimmy: you weren't for a second so I said it Janis: What second? Jimmy: What does that matter? Janis: Maybe I would like to try again, or maybe I wanna know what to avoid Janis: take your pick Jimmy: Maybe you're right again and I'm soft Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: Bollocks, that's giving yourself one for nothing Janis: like you've been so nice to me even though I don't deserve it, fuck off Jimmy: you fuck off Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: Alright Janis: Night Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just downstairs, getting drunk] Jimmy: [I'm so evil because I'm like ooh the potential for her to come up here when she is] Janis: ['forget' he's in your room like bonjour] Jimmy: [exactly though] Janis: [why not baby] Jimmy: [him just half asleep like mother is that you returning from the great unknown, oh no wait I'm not at home remotely] Janis: [ah the confusion, poor boy] Jimmy: [when you're relieved that it's her for the hottest of secs because where you been girl but also not because awkward] Janis: [when he's on the side of the bed you sleep on so you're trying to get in like 'budge up'] Jimmy: [so offended before he realises how drunk she is but then also like shhh when he does realise as if anyone's gonna hear this jimothy calm down] Janis: [just pushing him but much less efficiently than normal 'least you've warmed it for me'] Jimmy: [just so 😒 like stop pushing me but not saying anything] Janis: ['are you still cross?'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be mardy about' sighing at himself like ffs boy as he's scooting over #foreverwhipped] Janis: [chuckling to herself, quietly, thank god, as she settles in 'well I'm not happy with you'] Jimmy: ['And I've done nowt for you to be mardy at me about' okay Jimothy if you say so] Janis: ['Neither of those is true, you know' fluffing up the pillow] Jimmy: ['start a # if you feel so strongly' cos v mature] Janis: ['you're stupid, stupid as I am' poking him] Jimmy: [gives her a look like don't, which he means on many levels rn] Janis: [pulls a face 'cos so mature too right now 'we could be friends, I'm just saying'] Jimmy: ['You reckon?' because clearly they can't] Janis: ['duh'] Jimmy: [shakes his head] Janis: [nods, way too hard, 'now you made me dizzy as well'] Jimmy: [goes to sarcastically pat her on the head like there there but strokes her hair instead because so soft always] Janis: [pouts but genuinely] Jimmy: ['what?' but in the softest way] Janis: ['I want you to be my friend but I weren't lying when I said you wouldn't want me to be your friend but I still wish you would'] Jimmy: [needlessly moves her hair out of her face like look at me 'it ain't up to you what I want, I said I wanted to try 'cause I did- I do'] Janis: [Hides under the covers again like sorry can't look at you 'okay' really quietly] Jimmy: [reaches under the covers so he can trace a o and k with his fingertip on her hand/arm whichever is reachable] Janis: [comes back up 'go sleep now' and closes his eyes with her fingers] Jimmy: [such an amused little noise because he was asleep before she came in, excuse you] Janis: ['shh shh'] Jimmy: [puts a finger on her lips like you shh] Janis: [frowny face 'stop it'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up dramatically like alright, calm down and gets comfy like look I'mma sleep] Janis: [smug face like that's right and does the same 'least it's not a single this time'] Jimmy: ['gutted, me' said really sarcastically but we know you are boy] Janis: [gets all up in his grill like there you go then] Jimmy: ['funny'] Janis: ['that's what you get for being rude'] Jimmy: ['you woke me, pisshead' but affectionately not actually annoyed at all] Janis: [waves hand like psh 'you were rude before then'] Jimmy: ['Alright, shut up' like you really care about going back to sleep rn okay Jimothy] Janis: [gestures like see 'gotta be nice to me' but rolling over like okay, you can sleep] Jimmy: [OTT dramatic sigh so she's knows it's fake] Janis: ['bet you can't say one nice thing about me'] Jimmy: ['you're not as shit at kissing as you were on the trip' because I re-read that and he kept acting like she was so bad like OKAY liar] Janis: [pushes him 'what kind of compliment is that?!'] Jimmy: [shrugs like you don't know exactly what you're doing boy] Janis: ['alright then the only thing I have to say about you is you're slightly less shit at being nice but potentially worse at lying so' blows raspberry] Jimmy: ['bollocks, you've got loads to say tonight, lightweight' but he's loling] Janis: ['yes well I've been very bored'] Jimmy: [does like the awh cheek squish she does to him always 'poor baby'] Janis: ['you know I'll bite you' squirming out of reach 'why didn't you come down?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where you check an animals teeth like he wants to see her vampire fangs, stop touching her mouth please! 'Why didn't you come up?'] Janis: [wipes her mouth like a child like gross 'I was getting drunk' shrugs like hello] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I were sleeping' but like not for ages boy we know it] Janis: ['marding' in a him impersonation Jimmy: [pushes her cos oi what a read] Janis: [mhmm noise 'me too, but I had company'] Jimmy: ['like I said, shit host'] Janis: ['what do you mean?' resting on her elbow 'you keep saying that'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like pretty self explanatory] Janis: [a look like obvs not? 'I've fed you, entertained you, what more do you want, fanfare?'] Jimmy: ['that lot did the did the bulk of the entertaining, girl, weren't you' more lies and more slander] Janis: ['not my fault you've got shit taste then' is pouting] Jimmy: ['@whateverAsia'ssocials are, might start her off bawling again, what could be more goals?'] Jimmy: [but obvs he's said them I just cba to think of one lol] Janis: ['kink unlocked you horrible boy' but lols] Jimmy: [I've known for ages that were one of yours'] Janis: ['making girls cry?' fake ponders 'hmm, don't tell anyone'] Jimmy: ['not just lasses' does the broken heart hand thing again] Janis: ['you aren't that soft' nudges him 'unfortunately'] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'bit of editing and you can tweet that'] Janis: [passes her phone 'you'll have to do it for me, I'm not that drunk and sad'] Jimmy: [tweets something hilarious instead cos that bitch and makes a big show of not giving her the phone back cos drunk] Janis: ['what did you do, tweet my nudes?' tryna grab her phone like 'scuse me] Jimmy: ['Mr Lucas wishes' having a playfight over this phone so casually] Janis: ['who do you think I'm taking them for' then an ew face 'cos truly] Jimmy: ['Save something for the wedding night' cos in the school trip convo that was also a running theme of her marrying him lol] Janis: ['tweet that and we lose all credibility'] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'I could make owt sound goals, even that bollocks'] Janis: ['yeah but bit off message' gestures at the lovebites 'stick to the script, no improv'] Jimmy: [touches the newest ones he gave her, boy stop 'Alright'] Janis: [shakes her head 'don't' and pulls up the covers between them] Jimmy: [when you're actually 💔 now, so just getting back in a sleeping position] Janis: ['it's just 'cos I wanna and it's not fair and' let this be vaguely incoherent so you don't fully out yourself immediately] Jimmy: [just pretending he's actually gone deaf like we don't need to do this] Janis: [sad sound but turning over like you actually believe he's asleep] Jimmy: [just moving about like you're trying to get more comfy but getting closer to her so it's like the in bed version of when he was leaning on her earlier] Janis: [just really quiet and still for a long time, sighs 'night, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [we know he ain't gonna answer even though he all also know you aren't asleep sir] Janis: [AM skip or?] Jimmy: [I think we should say he leaves like super early cos got so real there] Janis: [okay gurl]

[astoria00]

Salem and Cinder's connection is deeper than we think

So, in another post I talked about the possibility of Salem having shared some of her magic with Cinder to keep her alive. Now, I don't want to entirely debunk my other theory, but maybe what Salem shared with Cinder wasn't so much her magic, but a part of her aura/soul. And having a part of someone who is literally immortal attached to them...tends to keep one alive as well.

The show even offers us possible facts that could strengthen this theory. So for the sake of this argument I will go through them chronologically, starting by vol 3 episode 7, our very first Cinder flashback episode.

Besides Cinder's semblance (yes, I still attribute those explosions to her semblance), which resembles Salem's own signil eerily enough on certain occasions and which she could use way before obtaining the Fall Maiden's power, there is a short little dialogue I want to point out:

“The huntsman severed the connection before it was complete.

Yes...it's an emptiness. It burns...like hunger... I like it.

Yes...I will claim what is ours.

Thank you.“

That whole scene was, of course, a black screen scene and for a while I had just assumed Cinder would talk to Salem via a scroll or this seer grimm, but let's be real. Salem doesn't strike me as someone who owns a scroll and Cinder was definitely not talking to Watts or Tyrian here. A seer grimm might be possible, but...it depends on where Cinder was staying at that time and how many of these type of grimm Salem even has. So yes, it's still possible for this to be a one-sided phone call of sorts, but it could also be our first clue for Cinder's and Salem's connection. This whole conversation could have been telepathic...in a sense.

But let's look at another scene. In vol 3 episode 10, we see Emerald, Mercury and Cinder on the rooftop with the latter telling Mercury to focus on the Atleasian knights. When he states he will, Cinder adds this little tidbit.

“Good, continue the broadcast until the end.

(Ground/rooftop shaking)

And do not miss what happens next.“

This is of course referring to the giant grimm dragon breaking from the mountain. Now, Salem could have told Cinder about it and how to get it to emerge, but this shaking could have been anything really. Maybe one of the elephant grimm trampled over a house and it crashed into another, or an explosion caused a little quake in its aftermath. So Cinder knowing exactly what the shaking meant was pretty...specific and well timed.

But it gets even more interesting in vol 3 episode 12 when the grimm dragon first lands on Beacon tower:

“Shh...this is your home now.“

Now, first of all, the dragon seems to know exactly where it has to go. It could be beacuse Salem ordered it to...but why would it look so grimmly at Cinder then, when he first spots her? Why would Cinder need to calm it down? And more importantly, Cinder CAN calm it down! Sure, she could have just said it because she felt like it, or she thought it could help, but the dragon literally reacted to her words, its growl even softened somewhat. And who else have we seen talking to grimm like this? Salem!

So what does all of this have to do with Cinder and Salem's soulbound connection? Well...let's first try to find out HOW they talk to grimm.

In all honesty, I haven't seen other people in Remnant who attempted to talk to grimm, nor were they mentioned (well maybe Merlot did, but we're not counting him XD). And how would they even understand one? They are soulless creatures, but...they are drawn to negative emotions. Which means they have a 'higher' empathic sense of sorts. We also know they are somewhat intelligent. So maybe Salem is able to communicate with them via that sense. Yes, we have seen her directly talk to some of them, but talking helps us visualize or feel certain things, so this might have been for her own or Cinder's benefit. And we should also keep in mind that the seer grimm gave his report...via his clicking noises...so...the trick behind that 'language' could be interpreting certain feelings and pictures that are send via that sense.

We haven't seen Ozpin being able to do the same, so it could be an ability Salem aquired after jumping into the fountain of the god of darkness.

Now, if Cinder is being able to communicate with grimm as well and Salem is the only other being in Remnant who is known to have this ability, it certainly could allude that it got shared when Salem attached a part of her soul to Cinder.

Also, if we look further at her fight with Pyrrha, the grimm dragon tries to help her somewhat and not once did Cinder look surprised by that. Not when it suddwnly flew away, nor when it changed its course to speed up back at them to crash into the dome of the tower.

So why did I talk about how communication with a grimm might work? Because I believe Cinder and Salem to be able to communicate on the same level, via that empathic sense.

But let's take a look at vol 4 where we actually see both of them interacting.

We have vol 4 episode 3 where Salem gives Cinder a 'control your new arm' lesson. What exactly is she saying there again?

“Do you feel it?

Don't fight it, girl.

It can sense your trepidation.

You must make it dread you!“

Trepidation...alright... How do you know that, Salem? Cinder doesn't look frightened at that scene at all, a bit uncomfortable and probably in pain, but I wouldn't have said she was afraid. So not only 'it' was able to sense Cinder's trepidation, Salem could as well it seemed. And if we watch a bit longer we get the whole :

“Did you kill Ozpin?“

A question Cinder has to answer all by herself, even though she clearly can't really talk at the moment. And why was that important for Salem? Because Cinder literally wouldn't be able to lie to Salem's face if they're in fact connected like this and it would also explain why Salem looked so pleased after she gets her answer. She doesn't question it, she simply believes her when she says yes. Furthermore, there is this moment where Salem raises her voice and slams her hands on the table...but Cinder doesn't even flinch, as if she already felt something like this would happen.

Speaking about lies. In vol 4 episode 11 we have another instance of...interesting phrasing from Salem:

“Enough!

I thought you were the girl that wanted power.

Did you lie to me?

Then stop holding back!“

Stop holding back? Well, to me it certainly looked like Cinder gave it her all, no holding back, just being tired because she clearly pushed herself very hard, so I ask again...how did Salem know that? She would only be able to make that point if she either already witnessed Cinder handling her powers and knows she can do better, which didn't seem to be the case with how frustrated Cinder got at the end, or like with her trepidation in ep 3, Salem was just able to feel it. Something else that stood out to me in that scene was Cinder's reaction to Salem's: Did you lie to me? She flinches. Not when Salem says it's 'Enough', not when she throws Cinder's desire for power back at her, no, she flinches when she is accused of lying. And if we go with their connection theory...she literally wouldn't be able to pull that off, because Salem would know it immediately...somewhat like a lie detector. So Salem asking her this, was kinda a dig at her that she couldn't.

If we keep focusing on Cinder here when Tyrian comes back and begs for forgiveness, she only looks at him for maybe a split second, before her attention is solely on Salem again. And Cinder seems to look almost uneasy....lost of sorts? But why would she? Tyrian is the one getting focused on by Salem for now. He is the one in trouble. So could it be, that Cinder actually picks up on Salem's 'emotions' again, as she may have in ep 3? If they do have this bond, then it probably goes both ways. So Cinder might get some puzzling or worrisome readings from Salem in that scene, and we know from vol 6 just how much Salem can repress her anger...well until she doesn't, but still XD

Another scene that might strengthen this theory happens in vol 5 episode 2, when Lionheart tells his report to Salem. After she gives her orders to all of them and ends the 'call' she immediately looks over to Cinder, as if she knows right away that something is troubling her.

“You are free to speak your mind.“

She even sounds somewhat amused and as we have already seen, this isn't the first time Salem is awefully intuned to Cinder's feelings.

There are a few other small things that I have found throughout the series, but these are the most interesting ones I think, so let me talk about how I even got this idea in the first place and let's jump straight into vol 6 now.

After we got our first episode with Cinder it was clear that she had woken up a month after the attack at Haven. And she immediately seemed to know what to do. Sure, a lot of people were saying she couldn't very well go back to Salem empty handed, and although I'm not really agreeing with that, even if that is the truth, what stops Cinder to contact Hazel and get where Ruby and co. are from him? Or Emerald and Mercury? What stops her from reaching out to them? Her scroll seems to work just fine. Is she aware of Salem wanting her to “toil in her isolation“?

When we got episode 4, Salem is indeed aware of Cinder being alive. A lot of people seem to believe the reason for that is Cinder's grimm arm. Personally I don't agree with that. Yes, Salem is the master of all grimm and can control them, but firstly, we don't know how much at once and at what length she can do that. Secondly, she probably is not able to connect to a soulless creature, not even mentioning having the ability to keep tabs on them. 'Talking' and controlling them? Sure. But being outright able to feel when one of them evaporates? That would mean she would be able to keep tabs on all the grimm over the world...and I don't think that's the case.

So Salem attaching a part of her own aura/soul to the girl she definitely needs to survive against all odds and keep somewhat control over her, does sound plausible to me. It would certainly explain her leniency towards the Fall Maiden and why she is not even questioning her loyalty once. It is hard to betray someone who you're directly tied to after all.

But then again, that's just me theorizing again. I could be proven wrong next episode, but hey, analyzing these things is fun XD

[pions]

This turned into more of a "tips I've learned that I'm sharing" list, because a lot of what makes me happy about myself is constantly learning new things and applying them to my life. So here are some positive things about me with commentary. Requested by @probablypartalien

I've been stressing over who to tag because I don't want to make anyone feel weird, but if you're a follower of mine and you want to do this when please do, and tag me in it. :)

Anyway, here's the content --------------

1. I'm super happy about how much my communication skills have grown in the last few years. I was a pretty stunted kid as far as "talking normally to others" went, and I had a lot of anxiety about saying weird things that would get me teased, so I often wouldn't know what to say at all. I'm still pretty awkward but I don't seem as anxious about it anymore so I think it helps. one-on-one's have been a lot better ever since building my arsenal of "script" phrases too. I can make appointments, and order food without having to worry so much because i better know what to expect now. So that's cool

2. I saw an disordered eating post today and that reminds me that I'm way better about my eating habits than I used to be. For almost all of my childhood I was surrounded by adults who did name brand diets, and encouraged weird eating to trick the body into losing weight. At no point was there a balanced diet and exercise plan, and when I wanted to lose weight as a kid my mom told me to stop eating carbs. (I was 13! And I did and got super small but it's also caused me many body battles and fluctuations and dizzy spells and overall it's bad kids don't diet like that)

But anyway, ever since becoming an adult I've had a lot of success with not starving myself, and applying other good tips for keeping my body machine running smoothly. There's still a lot to unpack, but it's definitely better :) many thanks to that nutritionist I saw a few times lol. I'll share a few of the takeaways

- only put on your plate what you're going to eat

- put enough on your plate, don't go back for seconds. feel free to add a cookie or snack or anything you want to eat that makes you happy, just make sure to only take what you can eat

- Your diet shouldn't feel restricting or make you feel like you're missing out! It's all about moderation of food intake

- Don't eat in front of distractions. Find a table and make it an event of its own. That way you'll better focus on the way your body feels when you get full. You don't have to eat once you're full, but it takes about 10 minutes before you can even tell that you are

- your body will adjust itself based on food intake, and it knows how to best regulate itself so don't worry if your food plan doesn't make you look like someone else on the same plan, because your body is always doing what's best for itself, and trust that if your diet is healthy that your body is doing its best too, even if your not seeing "results"

3.) learning to throw away my pedestal for the raw intelligence mentality was one of the best things I've ever done. Probably most of us here can relate to being one of the smart kids, and I specifically was one of those kids singled out at an early age and placed in a 'gifted program' (and jeez did that do nothing for me but isolate me socially, and set an impossibly high standard was what was clearly my "God-Given genius") I've seen the same pattern from every single gifted kid I know. They have a hard time working for things because if they're not already good at it then they must've been faking this 'gift' the whole time

Honestly I'm here for saying FUCK intelligence/genius/IQ culture altogether. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that just because you're bad at something, and ESPECIALLY if you're slow to pick things up, doesn't have any say on your worth as an academic. The human brain is so so powerful, and it's better and faster when it's trained to know how to do the thing! Even problem solving is a SKILL! All skills take practice, even if it's quick mental math, even if it's pattern recognition, even if it's reading-comprehension. We need to stop writing ourselves off as 'less than' just because someone is already better at it, or they picked up on it easier. We're all on different paths and levels and it's okay to know just to do you on your own time. You're capable, and I know I am.

Definitely happy that I've taken that one to heart. It helps all the time

4) Speaking of cultivating skills, I have a few I'm pretty damn proud of.

One: I'm really really good at problem solving. I spend so much of my waking time thinking about problems, and I'm told by a lot of my friends that I come up with efficient and creative solutions, and I really value that.

Two: You bet your ass I'm the best researcher around. I know so so many things specific to my interests. If you ever want to know or need help with computer programming, astronomy, or physics I'm pretty much your guy. I love to know things deeply so that I can re-explain them in a simple way. It's one of my favorite things to do, chewing up impossibly large topics

Three: this is a good one: I'm way better at asking questions now. Might sound weird, but I used to be really bad at asking questions because I had a hard time understanding why they didn't immediately have my answer. I considering myself a dummy level of meticulous, so if I'm asking a question you best bet that I've crafted it to sound like it makes the most sense in my head, but what would you know? Other people aren't me, and so I would repeat the same wording over and over and they would drive me crazy with the wrong responses. A good step is to let the person answering the question know what you already have in mind. It keeps them from repeating concepts your already have, and instead of them guessing whats wrong, they can start nit-picking or confirming your thoughts. It was so hard for me to understand that others are not in my head when I'm asking these things, but keep in mind that they're often on another planet and it requires some grounding before you can make progress. Saves so much time and frustration if the questioning process is dynamic

5. I'm the autistic nb your parents warned you about, and I think that's pretty sexy of me. I shan't explain