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vlp-wrtng-prctcs · 7 months

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Random Perryshmirtz #1

Me preocuparé mañana por editar los pies de fotos de las conversaciones a inglés si llega a ser necesario, pero es que si no saco esta idea, explotaré.

No sabría explicar el contexto sin reírme, podríamos considerar que esto es más un trashfic con un tono serio, así que dejemos abierta a la interpretación quiénes fueron mis inspiraciones (spoiler: fueron personas talentosas).

Probablemente esto tenga una continuación, porque continuar los proyectos 100% serios no es una opción inmediata (aunque estoy en ello).

La sombra del árbol se posicionó sobre la hamaca en la cual yace recostado, observando en silencio a los niños quienes parecen haberse embarcado en una pequeña invención para desestresarse del aburrimiento que conllevan los deberes escolares; para tranquilidad de sobrina, el invento no presentaba mayores riesgos y, en realidad, parecía beneficiarlos a todos. El día no podría mejorar más.

Una suave vibración sacude sus pensamientos, notando que en su número personal yace una notificación de un mensaje sin leer. Perry ni siquiera tenía que esforzarse en adivinar de quien se trataba a esas alturas de su vida.

«Perry el ornitorrinco»

«¿Recuerdas esa vez que me secuestraron?»

Su rostro se frunció por un instante, cuestionando si esa era una forma bastante sutil de anunciarle que nuevamente había pasado. Por lo que ahora, absorto por la curiosidad, decide contestar de forma más inmediata que anteriores ocasiones.

«¿Cuál de todas las veces que lo han hecho?»

«Oh vamos, hablas como si lo hicieran todo el tiempo»

«¡Sabes perfectamente que la semana pasada no fue un secuestro!»

Estaba bastante seguro que ser privado de la libertad es un secuestro, especialmente, si utilizan cuerdas y costales como adición al juego; no importaba si al final había sido una “ligera confusión” como lo hicieron llamar los hombres cuando lo vieron llegar.

Aún puede sentir el dolor en sus nudillos.

Envía un emoji como simple respuesta, ahorrándose una discusión entre los dos.

«Ese no es el punto»

«Mystery encontró mi contacto y me envió un mensaje. Parece que mi charla sobre la comunicación es realmente efectiva»

«O algo así…»

Había escuchado la anécdota después de que la conmoción se relajó, no solamente desde la visión de su némesis, sino que su propio compañero de trabajo le compartió algo de su experiencia, mostrándose agradecido por la intervención de Heinz.

Casi se sintió empático por la situación, pero el villano de Peter había llevado al límite sus propios sentimientos, y tenía con un científico malvado para eso; hecho que el agente de Seattle pareció leer en ese momento porque dejó de lado cualquier doble intención que lo llevase a querer ahorcarlo. Ahora se está arrepintiendo de no haberles amenazado por toda esa ridiculez.

«¿Algo así?»

Cuando ve en la barra superior que el hombre adulto está grabando un audio, decide que es un buen momento para comenzar a escapar de la escena, sabiendo que aún en el volumen más bajo, su voz podría ser escuchado hasta por los propios sordos; al ser entonces, una situación extraordinaria, se permite generar otra, dejando a Candace como una delegada temporal de responsabilidad mientras su persona iba por unos instantes al baño.

No supondría más de 20 minutos, si consideraba el tiempo promedio de audio que ha recibido en los últimos tres meses.

Cuando ingresa a la casa, y no ve en la cercanía a ningunos de los adultos con los que convive día a día, se permite ir reproduciendo el primer audio enviado.

“Intentaré resumir un poco de la conversación que hemos tenido, básicamente se ha estado esforzando en hacer grandes pláticas con Peter para explicar sus planes e intenciones, el problema reside cuando sus planes fracasan, en ese preciso momento es incapaz de alejar ese tema de ser misterioso y vuelve a cerrarse. Supongo que es un hábito difícil de enterrar completamente.

El punto es que, de alguna forma que aún no logro comprender, decidió practicar con una inteligencia artificial. Lo que es completamente malvado, ¿sabes todas las implicaciones morales puede tener eso?”

Acelera el audio, percatándose de una larga discusión de un solo sentido sobre el tema; no fue una sorpresa que, en el fondo, estuviese de acuerdo con sus puntos. Doofenshmirtz al fin y al cabo no era un villano como tal.

Para cuando llega al baño, se permite reproducir el segundo audio enviado, dejando que su voz haga eco entre las paredes mientras abre uno de los pasajes secretos a su guarida.

“Para concluir, de algún modo contarle a la inteligencia todo lo que está pasando le permitió poder crear una serie de mini planes para poder hacer un acercamiento más directo con Peter el Panda, pero para asegurarse de que todo saliera en orden, preguntó sobre si podría presentarme este lunes con alguna canción de respaldo”.

Nunca se sintió tan agradecido de alguna vez estar en su guarida. Está seguro de que podría aterrar a cualquier testigo que no pudiera entender porque se estaba riendo tan alto sin importar la intensa sensación de extrañeza que refleja su rostro.

Estaba escéptico. Sabe que su risa aflórese casi como un mecanismo de defensa.

«…»

«Esto no es una broma?»

«En realidad esperaba que vinieras conmigo»

«¡Una de mis bailarinas recurrentes está enferma y no hay nadie que aprenda sus pasos tan rápido!»

Respira, reteniendo el aire, soltándolo después de unos largos segundos; algo en sí quiere seguirse mofando de la situación. Solo que Heinz no merece ser el enfoque de su burla, en absoluto.

«¿Por favor?» la torpe adición del emoji solo hace que realmente no pueda reírse más, incluso si es con él.

«Dame un momento».

Sin necesidad de mirar el alrededor de la habitación, puede caminar directamente al tanque espacioso que utiliza como un espacio personal dentro de sus responsabilidades; ocasionalmente la llenaría hasta el tope de agua, permaneciendo con un tanque de oxígeno y dejándose abrazar por su propia afinidad del buceo. Ahora tan solo se adentra en su vacío, sentándose en la silla circular para deslizar el panel superior, cubriendo el interior, y, en consecuencia, sus propias acciones.

No se había imaginado desarchivando su contacto.

«¿El lunes es tú día libre?»

La reacción inicial de su contraparte lo hace suspirar ya fastidiado; pero es un hombre ocasionalmente rutinario, por lo que una parte que no reconocerá, siempre se encuentra aliviado de que juegue con eso.

«¿Quién eres? ¿Dónde conseguiste mi número?»

«Deja de actuar como un idiota y responde».

«¿Cuál es la contraseña secreta?»

«… ¿en serio me harás escribir eso?»

Quiere empujarse a concluir la conversación hasta ahí. Decirle a Doofenshmirtz que ni toda la ridiculez del mundo vale la pena.

Más sabe que se estaría mintiendo; nunca habrá una mejor oportunidad como ahora para ser quien moleste al azabache.

«.- .--. .-.. .--. .--.»

Jura que algún día podrá convencerlo [obligarlo] a cambiar de contraseña. Preferiblemente, después de un entrenamiento donde pueda humillarlo.

Más cuando su siguiente mensaje le deja en claro cuánto se regocija en ganar la última vez ese acuerdo.

«¿No te encanta este método de verificación? »

«¿Por qué la pregunta? ¿Por fin vas aceptar salir conmigo?»

«He ido a tus dos últimas fiestas y aún no me recupero mentalmente de ellas»

«Contesta»

Se ahorra el “idiota”. Hoy su humor es excepcionalmente bueno; demasiado.

Y crece cada vez más con la confirmación.

«Sí, el lunes es mi día libre, pero tengo en mente algo»

«Será para una próxima ocasión nuestra cita».

Quizás no, pensó. Podrían verse sin ningún problema ese día.

«Que emoción»

«Sabes que puedo escuchar tú sarcasmo desde aquí»

No lo hace, en definitiva, ya que no existe. Está extasiado.

Vuelve al chat que lo originó todo.

Odiaba siquiera imaginarse algún traje de lentejuelas, tan llamativo, casi escandaloso; lo malo es que la balanza seguía tan inclinada a su propio desastre. Lejos de toda la diversión y justicia divina que podría significar, ir implicaba proteger al castaño. Su principal función cuando no están peleando entre sí.

«Sí, estoy disponible»

«¿A qué horas será el ensayo?»

Resulta fácil saber que es la decisión correcta cuando su corazón late al imaginarse su voz replicando el mensaje.

«Sabía que podía contar contigo, Perry el ornitoamable»,

«Es hoy a las 18:00, podrías quedarte a cenar después de eso»

Nunca había dicho un “sí” explícito, no iniciaría ahora.

Él no lo necesitó tampoco, por lo mismo es que siempre tuvo su plato en la mesa.

Agradece que nadie pueda ver la calidez que ruboriza su rostro y eriza su piel.

«Te veré ahí»

«No olvides usar tú llame»

No lo haría, pese a la tentación de usarlo como una excusa para quedarse más tiempo del debido.

#fanfic #phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf perry #pnf doofenshmirtz #perryshmirtz #peter the panda #my edit #professor mystery #random writing #Ustedes no saben lo divertido que fue hacer esto #Dedicación especial para las personas que me inspiraron a esto

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wildshadowtamer · 2 years

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CONSIDERING IM THE CO-CREATOR OF AN AU BASED AROUND THE PNF CAST BEING GODS, ID LOVE LOVE LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HIDDEN GODS AU!!!!! UNLESS I MISINTERPRETED SOMETHIN LOL

OH MY GOD HI

ok so i made the au before i found yours but i changed a few aspects afterwards, but basically: (sorry if this is everywhere, i wrote half of it at 7am, slept, and wrote the rest of it at like 6pm in a heatwave)

Hidden Gods is an au where most of the cast are incarnations of deities, and hide it from Danville, they know eachother are gods, but nobody else does. Their powers range from subtle to extreme, and plants are a reoccuring power bc im weak for flower symbolism. Here’s like, big info of characters, but if you want specifics feel free to ask!

taken directly from my notes, the city history of Danville and Gods: “After being created at the beginning of time by gods, Danville has remained the central hub for gods and demigods alike. Though the people of Danville are unaware the city rumour is true, there’s so many strange things in the city that nobody would be particularly surprised. Though, some supervillains are awfully keen to find the gods amongst mortals, to use for their own sick experiments. These supervillains, however, are excommunicated from the Danville Villainous Community, as many high-ranking villains are gods or have godly children. So, thanks to the security the walled-in city offers, when people discover they or their family members are gods, they move to Danville for safety and community.“

SO: Phineas is the god of luck, he's incapable of being hurt and every situation turns out good, even if parts of it were bad. He loves wearing lucky charms (like horseshoe pins and clover bracelets) and he always makes sure his shirt has 7 stripes (a lucky number). His existence powers all luck in Danville, and honestly his luck aura is probably why villains never manage to take over Danville. He can focus the luck into bubbles of them to put people in, but it takes a lot of power and he can overload easily from it

Ferb is the god of summer, and his powers cover the entirety of Danville- but only danville. he can make summer go on for as long as he wants, even if its winter outside of the city walls. He was the first in the summer gang to realise he was a god, at a fairly young age, as his is far more direct than phineas'. He can grow summer plants, manipulate tempreatures, he's constantly running hot, and if he gets mad enough he can pull the summer/heat out of a room to make it winter. he also doesnt need to eat bc he photosynthesises, so he has a love/hate deal with storms (love for water, hate for clouds). Summer is naturally his favourite season bc hes the god of it and phineas is always happiest in summer, so he usually needs to be talked into letting summer go until next year

Candace is the god(dess) of fire, and partially made of fire. her hair (which is waist-length) is made of fire and curls into dark smoke at the bottom, and if angry enough she can literally light herself on fire (or more specifically turn her human body into a fire body, though not on command). Naturally, she sets things on fire by mistake a lot, just from her frustration, but water and cold can help, though if left in it for too long it will hurt her. she doesnt know how to swim due to this. like ferb, she has temp manipulation and gets her energy from the sun, so she especially hates storms

Linda is a mortal, a mortal who somehow managed to marry two gods in a row and raise three demigods without a single scar, Lawrence likes joking that she's the god of patience. She rolls with just about anything said to her bc her daughter bursting into flames has been a regular occurance since she was 3, so not much can phase her anymore. She's unaware of anyone outside of her family being gods, despite their complete lack of subtly

Lawrence is the god of History and Time, and his 'spirit' (godhood) was the first one to exist. He remembers every historical event, and has lived through all of them as well, though he has no memories of his past personal lives nor the lives of other gods. So naturally he's a history nerd, even though watching history content gives him migraines. Due to how old his spirit is, his body is perpetually in pain, but he manages it with painkillers. His late wife was a mortal, but was a "god's assistant", though he never asked which one. He may have some secrets about his own history.

Isabella is the god(dess) of Spring, though she doesn't need to photosyntheses like Ferb. instead, she can't be in too much heat, and can only grow spring flowers. Animals, particularly young ones, love to follow her around, and she can call them if needed. she particularly likes growing clovers, for no particularly reason of course. she just likes the uh, green of them. sure.

Buford is the god of space, his eyes are pitch black and his freckles are constellations. in low light, his eyes become galaxies, and he can project those same galaxies onto surfaces, or even nighttime bubbles around areas. He doesnt need to breathe, and knows alien languages without trying, but he can also turn his gravity off. sometimes, if he's not focusing, he'll float without meaning too. He's the reason phineas and ferb learnt how to lasso, so he wouldn't float away.

Baljeet is the god of premonition and visions, he can see the future and sometimes gets omens for events that happen weeks or months away, years even. but he can't change it, usually. He's the first one of the group who'll know if their cover is blown, because he once got an omen of that happening. though, when it happened, it was actually just him meeting phineas and ferb as little kids. due to the omens, though, sometimes his anxiety gets pretty bad, so he likes to look at stars to calm down. and he totally didnt call buford Stargaze once.

Irving does not exist in this au, the fireside girls are mortals but assistants to isabella, and django + jenny are also mortals, though they dont actually know about the godhood. I’ve yet to decide on jeremy and stacy.

(HUMAN) Perry has two titles, The God of Flora, and The God of Disguise. like his life and work, throughout history the god of flora and the god of disguise have been considered two different gods, when every time it was the same person. At home, his powers are plants, any kind of plant, he's not bound by seasons, though for some reason he always runs cold. When hes mad, vines will sprout up and hold him back, even if they leave thorns behind once hes calmed. When hes sick or upset, he'll cough up petals. At work, he's a shapeshifter, usually a platypus, though occasionally an ocelot, which his teammates take to mean Calvin the Cat- one of his friends- but we know the truth. He stays primarily human, atleast at the beginning of missions, but he does usually stay partially shifted to have webbed hands, venom, and bioluminescence (the latter is purely for his own entertainment). If hes shifted and too distressed/stressed, he can rapid fire switch, resulting in him "glitching" (losing control of his shapeshifting ability until hes calmed)

Heinz is the god of Memories, though he's also invincible. Nobody ever questions that part. Anyway, his powers are more lowkey, being able to project his memories into other people's heads like a movie, and having a picture perfect memory. However, this often backfires due to his traumatic past. Who knew being unable to forget things was bad for you. Despite being able to literally project his thoughts, he still keeps a scrapbook of his positive memories. Despite being invincible, he still managed to lose his arms, though when asked he just goes on a long rant about "some redhead in evil college" and "his weird assistant friend"

Vanessa is the god(dess) of Night and Dark, and essentially functions like a vampire. light hurts her, so she covers up and wears shades. she can control the light of a room, and can make darkness bubbles, and also travel through shadows. The true definition of Born To Be Goth, and definitely caused her father several heart attacks over the years, both from the light = burning, and from the shadow walking.

Monogram is the god of Deceit. Verbally, he's incapable of telling the truth, so he signs. but in Sign, he's incapable of lying. He likes messing with people sometimes, as everything he says outloud is either a contradiction or an outright lie, but usually he signs for the sake of everyone's sanity. He can also go invisible, and his mirror reflection is always in the opposite colors to him. Not skin wise, but everything else is the opposite color. It took him the first 14 years of his life to realise he had blue eyes, not red. He can also go invisible, but that takes more power the longer hes using it, so he doesnt like to. He's been out of field since Monty was a baby, anyway, but that's a different headcanon.

speaking of Monty, he is the god of Autumn, he can create fungus instead of plants, fog and rain too, he's immune to the cold, and he can induce sleep or nostalgia onto anyone. However, he's constantly tired, is impossible to wake up once hes asleep, and is immune to plant poison. he didnt find the latter part out until he was about 10, so his parents had several years worth of frantically dragging their child away from eating deadly things like mushrooms and yewberries. He adores the aesthetic that mortals have made for his season, so he's always seen in a scarf, hoodie, and beanie, even in a heatwave. Even though he's absolutely not heat immune, i never said he was smart

(HUMAN) Pinky is the god of electricity, which is why he's constantly shaking, its static buildup he tends to accidentally let loose on other agents, and occassionally his baby cousin Isabella. He has a special way of fighting thanks to his powers; either focus the electricity and make his fingerguns into fingertazers, or use the electricity to essentially be a makeshift Flash and nyoom after villains. His hair is incapable of taming, as it's always frazzled and static-shocked. The garcia-shapiros do not own carpet. a power overload can cause anxiety attacks, sensory overloads, or just knock him out entirely.

(HUMAN) Peter is the god of Winter and Weather, his winter powers are more passive, while his weather powers are more tied to his emotions. winter-wise he can make ice, manipulate snow, change a room’s tempreature (particularly if he’s mad, it’ll go ice cold), he can make blizzards and eternal winters under stress, his hands get icy when hes mad, he has no heartbeat, and his hands + mouth are always cold (the kind of cold like when you just had a popsicle). Weather-wise, based on emotion, clouds can appear over his head and rain/thunder/snow/etc (like pepa from encanto), which also means he can make storms and fog. At the cost of much of his energy, he can even emotionally influence people, though he doesnt like to. Like his powers, he’s cold, and is often in a bad mood on hot days. Unlike the other seasonal gods, his appearance is affected by his powers, with his white hair streaks having a snow-like effect when caught in light, and his blue eyes (even when covered with his shades) are the color of ice, and have little snowflakes in them.

Mystery is the god of, well, Mystery, and Mimicry. Real name Miguel “Miggs” Ortega, he has fairly straight forward powers. He can shapeshift into other people- not animals, teleport, go invisible, and mimic voices. Without the mask, he has an uncanny valley effect, with something always looking off, though nobody can ever pinpoint what. It actually hurts to look at him without the mask due to the fact hes just hard to process. Alongside that, his shadow is like peter pan’s (or that guy from princess and the frog), even though he’s quite sick of his shadow by now. He once tried to shapeshift into Peter’s civilian form to find out his identity, but is possibly more faceblind than Heinz and had no clue who he was, so he gave up with that plan. Outside of work, he’s a teacher, and a dumbass, with his closest work friend being a weirdly cold-skinned guy who reminds him of someone. (a god of mimicry with face blindness, how ironic). When visting family, he loves to prank his baby cousins with his powers, and help them prank the neighbours kids (and weirdly familiar uncle) in return.

Other, less important gods are Carl (Knowledge), Carla (Sight), Rodney (Animals), his son Orville (shapeshifting), some weird redhead (creativity), his equally weird son (light, an oc), Bannister (Music), his nonhuman daughter (Hypnotism, an oc), and some other villain kid ocs of mine.

this is a long post already but things i want to mention: -the day Linda found out she married a god. twice. (two wildly different powers) -the day Linda found out her child was a god. four times. (yes, four, so much destruction) -the day Lawrence found out his child was a god. twice. (yes, two, so many flowers) -Heinz finding out his infant daughter was essentially allergic to light and going mildly overboard with precautions. Perry had to talk him down from painting the walls black, he ended up compromising to just paint Vanessa’s room black. -Perry finding out infant ferb also had plant powers and being really proud about it -the amount of times Candace has probably set Perry on fire bc he was covered in flowers and she didnt realise -Perry unwillingly sprouting flowers around Heinz and Vanessa absolutely knowing the flower meanings. She has been bribed into silence by promises of receveing albums and hot topic merch. -Perry attaching a big umbrellary leaf to kid Vanessa’s backpack so she can go outside with shade (big sun hats work fine but heinz was almost overloading from worry so Perry stepped in to help)

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