#Reupload of one of my old songs cause the other one was too long

[whlfchn]

18+ rating! minors do not interact!

wc: 1.4k genre: no plot just smut! very long drabble?! warnings: fem!reader, some teasing, dry humping, very little nipple play, praising, profanity, dirty talk, unprotected sex, soft!dom chan authors note: this is a rewrite and reupload of my first ever bang chan fic I uploaded months ago on my old blog! no plot just smut! I wrote a lot more than I intended lol!

[ Midnight ] The sound of movement and heavy breathing bounced off the walls of the dark and chilly studio. A soft glow emanated from the now neglected laptop.  

Chills run down your spine and your senses heightened as the feel of Chan’s touch engulfs you. 

"Babygirl, I should be working right now," he murmured as you left soft kisses on his neck. Your body is straddling his lap on the soft black leather couch. 

Your hands pull on his curly hair just the way he likes. His hands caressing your thighs and slowly making their way up to grab at the clothed skin that's rocking back and forth against his hard length that is straining against his pants.

“I have a lot of songs I need to work on,” he grunts. His voice is raspy and demanding. Slowly losing control and focus as his hands guide your ass to grind harder against his lap.

“Please… I need to feel you inside me,” you cried out. A hand raked through his hair and tugged on the curls as your other hand is tracing the outline of his plump bottom lip that was trapped in between his teeth. Pulling on the flesh and freeing them. Finally pushed over the edge, he lost control and forgot all about the unfinished work on his laptop.

“Always so needy,” he teases. Lightly slapping your hand away from his lips to bring his fingers against yours. Tracing your lips just as you did with his.

 Shoving two fingers inside your mouth. You immediately suck and tease while looking into his eyes. Wishing it was more than just those long veiny fingers.

He takes his fingers out of your mouth. Latching his lips onto your neck and sucking the soft supple flesh. Proceeding to bite those same marks. Then licking it to soothe the skin before latching onto another spot and showing the same intoxicating pain that you loved so much.

Your breath hitches and you bite your lip harshly trying to suppress your moans from any passers-by in the building. All the nerves in your body are lighting like a fire. Feeling his hard length underneath, you couldn't take it anymore.

You pulled on his hair, causing him to detach from your neck, and in a split second, you slammed your lips on his. Teeth clicking and tongues swirling. His erection is even more prominent than before. It was all too much for him.

He never loved anyone the way he loves you. You took care of him, had a lot of patience, listened to him, and loved him for him. You drove him crazy both emotionally and physically. You were his drug.

He placed his hands on your thighs and gave a light squeeze silently telling you to hold on. In one swift movement, he picked you up and flipped you so you were laying down on the couch beneath him.

He hovers above you slamming his lips back onto yours. One hand next to your head holding himself up as the other grabs your thigh and wraps it around his waist. His hips grinding and pounding against your wet clothed core. 

“God, you're so beautiful,” he whispers in between kisses.

His hand on your thigh caresses the soft skin as it gets closer to your waist. His fingers play with the waistband of your shorts while devouring your mouth in a kiss. Your whines allow him to slip his tongue further down your throat. Winning the dominance over you. 

Long fingers slide inside the waistband of your shorts and panties. His fingers enter you within an instant. Your moans are suppressed by the lip play. 

You instantly squeeze around his fingers making his head spin. He grunts into the kiss and starts pumping in and out of you. Adding another finger. Stretching you out and getting you ready for him.

Your cold fingers make their way under his shirt. His warm body shudders at the contact. Your hand tugging on the fabric wanting him to take it off. 

He takes his fingers out of you causing you to whine at the loss of contact. He takes his shirt off and throws it to the side.

You lift your upper body and cross your arms taking off your shirt. As soon as it's off, he pushes you back down and his lips find yours. 

His lips trail away from yours and slowly make their way down. His lips find their way to your bra. Biting and tugging the material. Cold fingers caressing your body causing you to shudder and arch your back. One hand slipping behind your back and taking off your bra with ease.

His tongue making its way to your hardened peak. Swirling and sucking with such hunger. A hand rubbing and twisting the other. Moans leaving your lips like music to his ears. His priority is to make you feel good and show you just how much you mean to him. That only he could do this to you. Only his name could leave those beautiful lips. And only he could see and touch you like this.

He pulls away and starts kissing further down your body getting closer to your waistband. He pushes your shorts and panties down leaving you completely naked.

Seeing you like this was torture for him. His erection was almost painful now. Wanting to take his time with you and show you his love, but also wanting to fuck you senseless.

Shoving your legs further open with his knee so he could get a better look at your aching core.

“Fuck, baby. You're so wet,” he says as he takes his fingers sliding up and down your folds.

“I'm going to fucking ruin you,” he mutters.

He stands up as you watch his every move, eyes never leaving his form. He smirks and slowly pulls down his pants and boxers. His hard length was in plain sight making your mouth water.

“Don't tease me,” you whined and pouted.

“Patience baby. Be a good girl for me.” he teased while getting on top of you.

Lips finding yours. He sucks your bottom lip and rolls your tongues together as he spreads your legs even further apart.

“Ready baby?” he whispers.

“Yes. Please give it to me?” you murmur.

With your confirmation, he quickly thrusts into you. Loud moans leave both of your lips. Squeezing on his length as your back arches and you adjust to his size.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good,” he grunts.

He slowly pumps in and out of you. His thrusts get faster and faster. The erotic sounds of smacking flesh fill the room, drowning out the moans that are leaving your lips. Hearing the sweet sounds you make encourages him to fuck you even harder and faster. 

“You're doing so well baby,” he says before nuzzling his face into your neck as he fucks you senseless. Leaving soft kisses along your jawline.

Lifting himself upwards as he puts your legs on his shoulder so he can pound into you even harder while taking one hand to your clit and rubbing it at a fiery speed.

Your eyes squeeze shut and you bite your lips very hard to suppress your moans. In an instant, Chan notices and slows down the pace.

“Is this okay? You like that?” 

“Fu-fuck… yes… so much… don't stop,” you managed to say as you made eye contact with him.

“Good girl,”

He speeds his movements back up, grunting at how perfect you feel.

“Fa-faster,” you stutter, gripping the couch.

“Yes… Right there,”

His fingers attack your clit faster and faster. You feel your walls fluttering against his length. Your eyes roll back, and your hips shake. Your walls spasm and contract. Chan quickly covers your mouth with his hand silencing the loud moan leaving your mouth as you release.

The feeling of your walls clenching around him pushes him to the edge. He quickly takes your legs off his shoulders going back to missionary pounding into you even faster. Kissing you to quiet your whimpers and moans. Your core is overstimulated and not yet recovered from your orgasm. His thrusts get sloppier.

“Fu-Fuck,” he mutters into the crook of your neck as he empties himself into you. 

Shockwaves grip your body from the overstimulation. Chan stills his body and pants while on top of you. Rubbing circles on his back and kissing his cheek as he comes down from his high.

“I love you,” he whispers as he turns his head to look at you. Engraving every little detail about your face into his mind.

“I love you too,” you say before entrapping him in a blissful and passionate kiss.

disclaimer: my writing is intended for entertainment and does not represent any real person! the names are used for purely fictional purposes!

please reblog and leave a like! feedback is greatly appreciated and it motivates me to write more! I read it all and am so thankful for each of you!

~ masterlist ~

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 13

CC .zip file, resource page, uploading sims, and some other stuff idk

Anonymous said: Hi! I was just wondering if you knew that none of the images on your resources page are showing. Not on my end, at least. I've gone back to check a few times, to see if it was just my internet acting up or something, but every time it just loads blank white squares

Heya lmao it should be fixed somewhat now. A few months ago my download page/resource page/sim download page all broke and I had to reupload images. It killed me to fix my download page and I am just now getting around to doing my resource page. I am still working on it but I fixed links for Macie and Taylor

Anonymous said: Could you make any male hairstyles?

I am not the best at male hair, but maybe in the future I will do some stuff. For now the only male hairs I will make are conversions and stuff. I’m sorry!

Anonymous said: Any chance you’ll make some straight middle parted hair? Like 2002 Avril Lavigne?            

TBH I wish I would’ve made my Madison hair as just the Cats&Dogs hair retextured/UV mapped because that is something I want now, but I don’t have a way to get it to be the same as my Madison hair. We shall see!

Anonymous said: are your sims for download? They are so gorgeous!

They are! The images on the download page I made for them are broken but you can find their tag here

Anonymous said: I feel lile u should post more about urself + I miss ur monthly playlists

okay I thought this was so sweet for some reason ;n; I don’t post much about myself because I don’t know if y’all would wanna hear about my life/problems lmao. Also my playlists is a whole problem UGH I made my Nov one and forgot to post it, and didn’t have wifi til like Jan and I don’t know what to do with them. I will put a little bit of what my life is rn lmao:

I am about to go back to Radford for my 2nd semester, and I am happy with how my classes are. I am going through some really messy boy problems like.... ugh. I am trying to work things out and people like @ayoshi​ @bowl-of-plumbobs​ @dogsill​ and a groupchat im in on discord have kept me from being miserable. I just can’t get it resolved til I go back and I have been gone for a month with it just... building.

@simspigccfinds said: How long did it take you to learn how to make cc?

Well I ‘knew’ how when I first started, but I wouldn’t say I got to the point where I knew how to make stuff 99% right until late 2017, early 2018.   Practicing and learning from trial and error is the best way I learned.

Anonymous said: I'm new here but do you like Red Velvet?            

yes! they are tied with BP for my #2 group. I love RV songs/videos, but I love the BP girlies so much bc they were my first kpop group ;n;

Anonymous said: idk if you've been asked this before (i went through ur asks and ur faq and i couldnt find anything about this but i couldve missed it) Would you ever consider making a big download for all of ur cc? I really wanna download it all but theres so much!

Okay with this idk how I would do it. I post three new hairs every month. Some of my old hairs I know have glitches and I would not want to include them. I am going to try to finish some revamps/updates of hairs and then see about a giant .zip file and maybe a merged package of all my hairs.

Anonymous said: I LOVE ALL UR HAIRS!!! I use them on all of my white sims ❤️❤️

idk if this was shade ewdgfvbn thank you?? I know I don’t make many POC hairs and I want to start doing more, they just take more time to perfect imo and I try to have X amount of hairs for voting everything, and 3 release every month so it is hard to get popping different hairs in and out in that limited time.

Anonymous said: Omg your sims are gorgeous, I love your creations! I am saving up right now but as soon as I have enough money to spare, I am definitely becoming a patron :)

thank you so much!!! I appreciate you even thinking of being a patron <3

@set-fire-to-the-stars said: HEYYY! First, I'd like to say your work is AMAZING and I really enjoy having your hairs in my game. I have a suggestion, because we're both LOONA stans... You know that one hairstyle YeoJin is always wearing? That would look so cute in sims 4...

thank you!! lmao the hair with the like 5 or 6 buns? Maybe!! It would be a bit tricky to do but I would like to try it one day.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know that I have a friend called Lydia and her Hair is just as your "Lydia" Hair, it's so accurate that I had to giggle

lmao I am happy you got a giggle from it. I made it forever ago but I know it was based off of someone. . . .

Anonymous said: Hi! Do you have any hairs/cc for children? Thank you!

i don’t ;n; but @naevys-sims​ has converted a HUGE amount of my hairs to children if you want to check them out <3

Anonymous said: is it okay to edit your meshes for personal use only?

yeah haha for personal use is fine

Anonymous said: Hello!, i really like your cc. but, most of them doesn't seem to work with me, when i try to put it on my sim, it looks bald. do you know what's wrong with it?. thanks ~

You may just be downloading the recolors. Make sure to download the one that doesn’t say ‘recolors’ too.

@debsim​ said: hey i just want to say that you are my favorite cc creator and my sister is also born on the same as you lol :)            

thank you!!! lmao it is cool that me and ur sis have the same birthday :P

Anonymous said: I appreciate you so so much. I feel like i've already told you this but my god, you improve everything about my game. You've literally made my life happier and just, i'm so happy 😩❤

awe thank you!!! I just make simple hairs <3 I am happy that you think it improves your game. Thank you again

Anonymous said: I'd really love to see something fresh from you.  All i see on my dash is the same hair with small variations :/

all my releases are picked by Patreon Pledges through voting, so it isn’t up to me entirely. I just make/finish the hairs being voted on. All I can recommend doing to change that is pledge and vote sdgfvbb

@ssmorqqii​ said: Okay so this isn't much of an ask really but I just wanted to give you a heads up as an excessive cc downloader/user that your cc is HEAVEN. It makes the whole game so much better and I just wanted to thank you.            

thank you omg stuff like this makes me feel good about making content for the game <3 knowing that people think my hair changes the game enough to make it better. Thank you again

Anonymous said: do you use a cleavage overlay or special skin on your female sims?

I use two skin overlays and a default. That is it though besides makeup. No cleavage overlay

Anonymous said: How are your sims so pretty? Would you ever upload them? Like the one you’re using with get famous for example?

My sims are uploaded already to my origin and my blog lmao, I am planning to update them in the next few weeks though. DL page here

Anonymous said: not gonna lie that I followed you mainly cause you're a LOONA stan! <3

oh absolutely

Anonymous said: Another patron saint bitch. Sorry ugh

efvbn this made me giggle lmao ty

Anonymous said: sulsul! so I don't know how patreon works but when you pledge? do you have to pledge month to month or can i just be for one month?

you can pledge for just one month by pledging and then cancelling before you get charged the next month. I think you get charged a small fee if you re-pledge in the future though. So doing it month-to-month is a bit cheaper

@ssmorqqii said: hi this isnt a question but i just wanted you to know that i think youre pretty frikin great okay thank u            

thank you ddgfvbn i appreciate it

okay after this idk when I answered last so im gonna end it here. Does anybody read all of these things lmao efdhgb

[franeridart]

Your colors lately are even more beautiful!!! Your art is amazing!

AHHHH thank you!!! so much!!!!!! I have, admittedly, finally been putting more effort into them haha it’s good to know it’s noticeable! ;;

Anon said:My dude, I want to own Bakugou's shirt in that Kamino squad drawing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy you liked it!!!!! :D

Anon said:What do you think of Kaminari x Ibara or Toga x Twice?

I don’t really have strong feelings about either, honestly :O but the only person I really ship Ibara with is Tetsu, and I can’t say I’m much into villain-shipping in general

Anon said:Have you read Sweater Weather by crispykrimi?

Nope, I don’t really read tddk fics, sorry ^^’’

Anon said:Do you think kirishima goes to izuku and they talk about their relationships?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm honestly, while I realize that Kiri and Deku are on friendly terms, given canon I’d say if Kirishima needs to talk to anyone about stuff he’s gonna go to either Baku, Kami, Sero, Tokoyami or Mina, since those are the people we’ve seen him open up to, in canon! Same goes for Deku, if he gotta open up to someone it’s gonna be Iida, Todoroki or Uraraka :0 well, it’s not like it’s impossible for them to talk about it, but I can see it happen more in a possible future where they’ve grown closer than they are atm in canon! At least imho haha

Anon said:I just wanna say that I’ve been following you for a pretty long time (since the tattoo au was just starting I think) and you’re art just continues to improve and look amazing as time goes on. I’ve always loved it but these past couple days I saw some of ur recent stuff and was just blown away bc it looks so good. Thanks for drawing and sharing ur art w us, I love seeing it!! I hope u have a good day!!!

THAT SURE IS A LONG TIME!!! I’m so happy to hear you stuck around that long aaahhhhhh ;; and thank you so so so much for the compliment, oh my god!!

Anon said:have you ever considered kiribaku getting hit by someone w/ a body-swapping quirk?

I have! It’s a trope I find real funny - but I’ve also seen a whole lot of art/fics for that topic already, would people even seriously be interested in seeing more? It looks like the type of thing that’s gonna come out more or less always the same, which is why I never really bothered to draw out my ideas haha

Anon said:Your kids!au makes me wanna write so bad.

THAT’S GOOD!!! Inspiring people is the best thing I could ever ask for!!!! (...remember to credit back to the post if you use any of my ideas tho ;; pls)

Anon said:Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! I love love love looovee the kiribaku kids!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

THANK YOU!!!! I’m super happy you like themmm!!!!!

Anon said:Hey:) just wanted to leave you a note to let you know how much i adore the way you draw Tamaki. Of course I love your kiribakus and bnha art in general, like your comics, but not a lot of people draw Tamaki and I really love yours:)

Holy smokes thank you!!!! Jiki is actually incredibly comfortable to draw, I’m glad you like my take on him! I’ve got so many unfinished sketches of him.... I should really try to finish those...................

Anon said:so this ask is like,, basically a huge appreciation ask for your comics bc they're cute and funny and they always light up my day!! on a side note: are you franeridan on ao3 bc if so I'm dying thank you for bookmarking my fics

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am!!!! whatever fics they were if I bookmarked them they were for sure incredibly amazing and made my day better so thank you so much for using your time to write them!!!!!

Anon said:may i ask the heights of teenage mako and tai!!

Mako is just a little bit under 2m and Tai’s ~170cm! As things are then, Mako’s a lil bit taller than both Baku and Kiri while Tai is obviously shorter!

Anon said:i used your art for reference. is it ok if i post it crediting you and saying you drew the picture that i took reference from?

Sure, if it’s just for reference and credited I don’t mind! (but if you were using my stuff for pose references may I suggest you avoid doing that in the future cause my anatomy is absolutely terrible you’re just gonna end up making my same mistakes aaahhhhhhhhhhh ;; there’s lotsa more accurate refs around, believe me)

Anon said:please draw more shinsou he looks amazing in your style!!

Thank you! And sure, in the future why not!!

Anon said:Just wanted to let you know that I was scrolling through your bokuroo tag and 1) Aaaah I'm still so in love with how you draw kuroo and 2) I love how I can see the way your art style has improved over time and it's just so nice to see?? Bless your art so much and you're such a great person too I'm cry

SOB thank you so much oh my god, this really means the world to me???? ;; so many compliments holy smokes bless you

Anon said:Hi! I'm the anon that sent you the message about the A Day to Remember song for KiriBaku, and found another awesome song for them - Let Me Be by Escape the Fate. It's super cute and sappy for an alt/hardcore band and it fits Kiri more than Baku, imo, but could honestly come from either of their perspectives. ~SongAnon :)

AH GODS that’s sweet ;O; how come hardcore bands always go so soft on their ballads I cry - I feel it works perfectly from Baku’s pov too, tho!! Let him be Kiriiiiiii ;;; sweet

Anon said:I just wanted to say that I love your art and style as a whole, but I really really appreciate the way you draw Kirishimas eyebrows... like they look so simple but,,, they truly make my day 💕

Kirishima’s tiny eyebrows!!!! I’m glad you like them, they’re weirdly expressive and easy to draw honestly hahaha

Anon said:your art is shit //no no no nonno oo fdjsakfl;d I MEANT THE SHIT your art is the shit fjkdsa i'm so sorry i love you and your art this is why i can never compliment anyone ahhhhhhh //i'm crying omg i saw someone else send a separate ask to someone elase that was like your art is shit but it is the shit and i was like whoaaa how cool but noooooo jfsdakldsfa kms i'm sorry

This was a bit of a trainwreck ngl haha but it’s okay anon!!! It was an honest mistake, don’t worry too much about it!!! Thank you so so so much for liking my stuff

Anon said:Hi erm I believe that YouTuber "AnimeUproar" used your kinoko komori fanart without crediting you and I'm not sure whether you gave him permission. The title of the video is "EVERY QUIRK EXPLAINED! | Class 1-B (My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia All Quirks)" // Same anon as before and he also used your Setsuna art in the same video. The kinoko art had your watermark cut off while the other one didn't but they still have no credit anywhere and I'm not sure whether you have permission. Sorry if you did and I'm just being stupid lmao but it's the same YouTuber and the same video in case you want to message him

If it’s not credited you can be sure I didn’t give them the green light to use it, honestly - but, you know. Whatever. I’m tired. Let them use it. It’s a video so it’s not even like people can save it and reupload it anywhere else. sigh

Anon said:I am like 2000 years late but,, your bakubaby sketches saved my life wow they’re so cute

*cries forever* thank you !!!!!!!!!!!! ;;O;;

Anon said:All of ur art especially recently is just??? Blowing me away?? Oh my god?? I just your coloring and then that fantasy one holy fuck the DETAILS I feel like I can touch it it's so good I can tell you put a lot of time into it it shows it shows so much god it's so high quality I'M STILL !?!?! your art seems to get better all the time thank youuuuuu for blessing us w it it's so incredibly lovely ahhhhhhhhh

I’M SO HECKING HAPPY YOU LIKED THAT ONE cause it really took forever honestly - it was fun from start to end so it’s fine, but, you know, it’s cool to see it was worth it haha thank you so so much for the complimentsss!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much :') it makes me so happy whenever I get a notification from your blog

I still can’t believe people really have notifs on for this blog oh my g o d ;u; thank you

Anon said:I just wanted the share, that I came across your art in a trash, and scrolled down your blog looking for more, and I liked it so much that I decided to follow you... Only to find past self already did whoops haha. So I liked you enough to follow you twice!

THAT’S SO COOL!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! °O°

Anon said:I just went thru your whole art tag chronologically and omg you've come so far! Every time your art crosses my dash I smile and I'm happy every time I see it!

Have I? I have!! Sometimes I look at my really old art and I hate it and want to delete it but then I’m like, comparing it to the new stuff makes me feel good about it so it’s still there - that does mean sometimes people are gonna see the old stuff too, tho #rip I’m sorry you had to see that stuff, but thank you a lot for thinking I got better!!!!

Anon said:I love how Jirou's eyes look in your style. (How everything about her looks, too.) Damn, she's a stunner, isn't she?

*whispers* she is oh my g o d !!! I love Jirou. She’s just. So goodlooking. Gods. I’m glad you think she looks good in my style!!!

Anon said:ur momo and jirou are so beautiful!!! 💙 if i wasnt already as gay as it gets id have a major enlightenment rn ahhh

GOSH!!!! thank you so much!!!! :D

Anon said:have you considered... minamomo and/or kyooru

Never before Jirou and Tooru, actually, but I have thought about Mina and Momo and I’m still unsure about where that ship even came from. Like, not in the sense that I think it’s a bad ship, but in the sense that I really don’t understand it :0 why do you like Mina and Momo, anon? There’s so many people shipping it, I’m curious about where it came from! But every time I asked I got no answer #rip I wanna be interested in it, help me understand why it should be interesting!

Anon said:Have you ever considered Aoyama x Sero?? 10/10 recommend.

I haven’t! Mostly cause I generally hc Aoyama as ace, really - but that’s an interesting ship I might think about more :O

Anon said:I finally started reading BNHA again after dropping it in May and HOLY SHIT DID I MISS A LOT!! JUST THAT ARC WAS INSANE??

I know right??? I KNOW RIGHT????? I loved that arc from start to end, no lies anywhere, such a genuinely good arc!!! 

Anon said:Hey fran, I just wanted to say that I like your art very much and that I love to see how much you are improving as time goes on. You are doing great. ♥

So many people telling me that I’m improving oh my g o d it makes me so happy ;u; thank you so so much

Anon said:ahhhh i loved your aokaga drawings, they're the cutest and I hope you make more of them being cute together!!!!

Eek, sorry anon but I’m really not into making content for that ship anymore ;^; I’m glad you still like the old things, tho!!

Anon said:I really wanted to tell you that I love your art so much I can't even explain. It cures my anxiety and I'm not kidding. When I feel down and shitty, I just go through your blog and your fanarts make my day (my favorite ever is your bokuro). The way you put the emotions into characters gives me life, honestly. Thank you for your art

THIS MEANS!!! THE WORLD!!!! TO ME!!!!! Knowing that I can help you like that is such a good feeling anon, holy heck!! Thank you so much for liking my things and sending this ask!!!

Anon said:heyo tell us abt some kami angst hcs :)))) tenk youu

Anon............. love............... whatever in this blog made you think I might have angst headcanon about anything..................... I’m the most fluff person around............

Anon said:That idea you had about making hagakure's costume out of her hair or something like mirio's!!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE!! You're so smart! I LOVE IT

THANK YOU BUT IT WASN’T JUST MY IDEA!!! After Mirio explained his costume the idea was floating around on my dash a lot, it just made sense to a bunch of us!!

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “A Slight Hiccup”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan, Caitlin Vanarsdale

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

This is far more than a hiccup, trust me.

An apology in advance: there is not a lot to say about this episode, so do not expect as much text as the last one. This episode is a very "high concept" episode, the kind of episode idea that would appear as a short gag in The City of Clipsville. The big difference is that this short gag is going to be 12 minutes long.

Blossom: Stop right there, evil-doer!

Ah, finally, an episode that starts with a crime being fought, just like the old days!

No, she’s just practicing her next battle lines, just in case they ever have to use them. Other rejected lines include "villains stink", "we’ll save you", and "we're heroes"! Honestly, I would just stick with "not so fast."

The girl currently talking to herself about battle lines is interrupted by Buttercup trying to teach Bubbles how to do the perfect burp. Yes, it is that kind of episode.

Surrounded by tens of soda cans littered across the house, which Blossom is apparently not bothered by, Blossom asks what Bubbles and Buttercup are doing. To subvert our expectations, Blossom tells Bubbles that she should not listen to Buttercup because she should listen to her on the subject of burping. She's the leader, so she must be the best at everything, including belching!

We get a very long sequence of the Powerpuff Girls drinking several cans of soda, filling their cheeks to the brim, and throwing them on the floor. Such great role models, drinking very unhealthy drinks and littering! Hiccup punch, girl down, womp womp.

Bubbles celebrates her first good burp, apparently because she's the blonde, but Blossom knows that this is just a mere hiccup. A mere hiccup that causes them to launch across the room a split second after the hiccup. I think the timing is a little off, guys.

The Professor makes a short visit to this episode to explain what is happening to them: since they're superheroes, their hiccups are super, too. He recommends that they drink a glass of water, but it doesn't stop the hiccups. Worse, Bubbles says that now she needs to pee. They never follow through with that, and I am glad that is the case.

They get a call from the mayor that the jar district is being attacked. The Powerpuff Girls spend quite a bit of time getting shocked by this. No, not by the very existence of the jar district, or the fact that the Mayor actually called them in this reboot, but how anyone could attack the lifeblood of the town!

We cut to the Jar District...and it seems to be fine to me. The Mayor did manage to see a blimp in the shape of some green troll-faced character.

Tour Guide: And to our right is the infamous Jar District...

Random person: The lifeblood of the town!

If it is the lifeblood of the town, how is it infamous? Words have meaning. Speaking of infamy, we finally get to see some trouble.

The real threat shows up minutes later, as this episode about super-hiccups has to have the silliest of super-villains. The Gnat is here, and I deeply regret ever saying this guy is my favorite of the reboot villains. For starters, Bianca Bikini is a lot better. His gimmick seems to be committing crimes when the Powerpuff Girls have issues. Well, that and being there when the Powerpuff Girls can get beaten up so Bliss can save the day.

He pretends to be this big threat to this Jar District, and then takes a significant amount of time coughing and being incomprehensible to the other people he's threatening. I am sure this was meant to be hilarious, and not just a desperate plea to the audience that they could not squeeze enough water out of the burp and hiccup plot stone.

The Powerpuff Girls show up desperately try to stop this hot air balloon, only to be thwarted by their super-hiccups. Even worse, their super-hiccups end up interferring with what are essentially cutaway jokes. Since they already used up all of the hiccup jokes they can muster, they decide to fit in all the jar jokes they can think of.

Like...one of the super-hiccups interrupting the Jar Czar. Because Jar sounds like Czar. Bubbles, on the other hand, manages to hiccup her away into another building.

They spend a lot of time on the aftermath of that, as if this was the most tragic moment of them all. They even made a song that is in no way a reference to What A Wonderful World. How is this worth that? Is it because it’s the all important jar district? At least it's actually animated; they could just randomly put a bunch of random stock footage, I say not knowing anything about what happens later in the episode.

One part that is caused by Bubbles' accidental act of tragic destruction is that a giant jar lid almost lands on the sobbing Mayor. The Powerpuff Girls do show off another superpower other than flight in that they catch this lid, only for the Mayor to keep crying. I know, he loves his pickles, which happen to come in jars.

They do a hiccup, causing them to spin around. It turns out, while they're holding this giant jar lid, the force of their hiccups manages to make them spin at super fast speeds. What do you know, something that heavily detrimented them is now to their advantage; this episode is just going through the cycles. All we need is for them to suddenly lose those hiccups as soon as it becomes inconvienent.

In the end, this causes a giant tornado. This was something they were able to do without super hiccups earlier in even the reboot, but that regular non-hiccup tornado didn’t even stop a giant spider monster, never mind this blimp. They really needed these super-hiccups to make a tornado that easily beats this reboot’s version of the Amoeba Boys.

Of course, now there’s a giant tornado running across Townsville. The girls’ actions lead to consequences, who would have guessed? It’s also heading towards this all-important and yet infamous Jar District.

They try to stop it by hiccuping against it, only for their hiccups to go away as soon as they need them. I told ya! It’s practically a cartoon law: whenever the bad thing that happened becomes essential to their victory, they suddenly have to lose it. What are the Reboot Puffs to do? Drink more soda, of course! Cue the obvious "trying to get soda out of the vending machine" joke!

While they get the soda, they don't seem to get the hiccups. However, Bubbles is making a weird face, and not the kind used for the usual wacky face gags. To bookend this whole thing, Bubbles finally gets to do the burp she was trying to do since the opening. A burp so big, it couldn't be animated. Oh no...

...they have to use stock footage. Unlike some of the other uses of stock footage, I could see where they are going here. This burp is so monstrous, it affects real life, destroys real buildings, and even dogs from Tex Avery cartoons! May not want to reference better cartoons in your bad one, guys.

The episode ends with the irony: the episode ends with a pan shot of the rest of the city being destroyed by the stock footage-y stock footage burp of stock footage, but at least most of the Jar District is okay! This may be one of the few highlights of this episode; I could see an episode of the original ending like this.

Does the title fit?

It is about hiccups...not very slight ones, though.

How does it stack up?

This episode was chosen to be the preview episode, and I can only wonder why. It's a very silly idea, and they couldn't get of a lot of material out of it. There are episodes that have bad ideas that end up being okay in the end, and this is not one of them.

Next, Discount Jojo interrogates some toys! It's better than it sounds, but maybe it's because of this episode.

← The Buttercup Job ☆ Toy Ploy →

[bluegreenamber]

Twisted ch. 2 [Reuploaded]

Edd thought he was going to lose it when Tord started humming. The guy was humming “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies. Normally, Edd loved that song. But this was Tord, the guy who could literally make Edd angry by breathing. Both Edd and Tord knew all of this. And they knew that each other knew. But Tord continued to hum, and Edd continued to let his nerves become frayed. Finally, the soldier behind Tord knocked him in the back with his rifle. “Shut it.” Tord complied, and Edd visibly relaxed. The Norwegian glanced back at Tom, who was watching him carefully. He winked, and Tom’s face brightened, the gears turning in his head. “Hey, Edd. How far is the base from here?” Tom asked. “About as far as you’re ever going to go in your life,” Edd snapped. Tom made a face of mock hurt. “Ouch. Right in the ego.” Edd grunted in reply and continued to trudge ahead. Tord grinned from behind the gag and glanced back at Tom, who was trying to hide his own smile. He stared at the Brit, trying to convey his message through his eyes. Tom grinned, knowing exactly what he was supposed to do. “Hey, Edd,” Tom repeated. “How long until we get there?” “About as long as your attention span. Now shut it.” Tom ignored him. “Does that mean like about an hour, or…?” Edd whirled around on him, making the rest of the group stop. “I swear I will put a bullet through your head just to get you to stop talking.” Tom looked unimpressed. “I don't think these guys would be too pleased with that.” He gestured at his fellow prisoners. “Then I'll kill them too,” Edd stated coldly. “Starting with this one.” He pointed his gun at Jon. “And ending with that one.” He switched to Matt. Tom scoffed. “You wouldn't kill us. If you wanted us dead, you would have had your soldiers open fire back there. You need us for something.” “True.” Edd looked thoughtful for a moment. “And I might not want you dead… But I can make you wish you were.” With that, he turned back around and started up again. As everyone started walking again, Tord rolled his eyes. Edd was such a drama queen. He had always been one for theatrics and making a scene. After several minutes, Tom spoke up again. “Hey, Edd. Are we--” He didn't get halfway through his question before Edd shot right next to Jon, causing everyone to jump and Tord to yell out from behind his gag. Edd didn't even pause in his stride. “Contrary to belief, some of you are more expendable than others. That was my warning shot. I only give one. Especially if someone is annoying me.” He glanced back at Tom, the threat plain. Tom glared back but said nothing. He wasn't going to risk anyone’s life just to push Edd’s buttons. Tord kept glancing back and forth at the forest in front of him and Jon behind him. His eyes were full of worry, borderlining on panic. Jon met his gaze and mouthed, “I'm fine.” Tord’s shoulders slumped in relief, but he couldn't help the occasional glance back again. Some time of walking through the woods later, one of the soldiers broke away from the group and went up to Edd. He whispered something in the leader’s ear, and they had a rather interesting discussion with a bunch of wild hand gestures and raised voices mainly from Edd. Finally, they seemed to come to an agreement, and the soldier walked ahead, apparently taking the lead. The prisoners glanced at each other in confusion before Tord realized what had happened and laughed through the gag. Edd gave him a sharp glare but remained silent. Matt realized it second but unfortunately didn't have the forethought to be quiet about it. “Did Edd just get us lost?” Edd turned on him, nearly snarling. “Maybe I won't save you for last after all.” He turned back. Matt looked thoroughly abashed, staring at his feet and remaining quiet and fearful. Tom felt another surge of anger rush through him because no one threatened his Matt like that. But he couldn't do anything about it that wouldn't put someone’s life in danger, so he let his anger simmer silently inside him, his mind whirling on plans to make Edd pay for that. The next time the silence was broken was when the soldier in front stopped and waited for Edd. The leader held his hand up to stop the group behind him and made his way to the lone soldier. They had a much calmer conversation than last time, their voices low. Edd soon turned back to the group. “We’ve almost arrived at the base,” he announced with a triumphant grin. “Yeah, no thanks to you,” Tom muttered. Edd, however, was undeterred. “I highly advise that all of you behave yourselves. Now, let's go see your new--and for some of you, old--home.” They moved a few more feet through a wall of bushes and leaves and emerged into a clearing. Everyone saw it immediately. It was a long, low-lying concrete building surrounded by barbed-wire fences, searchlights, guard towers, and who knows what else. Soldiers were milling around outside, and it was highly likely that there were many more inside. They were finally at the base.

[azuresquirrel]

Isn’t It Rich? Are We a Pair? - All-Broadway All-Musical Narumitsu Fanmix

LISTEN HERE ON PLAYMOSS

Hey everyone, I’ve started the process of reuploading my old fanmixes to Playmoss so that people can actually LISTEN to them ever since 8tracks started sucking. So the obvious choice for the first one is my pride and joy, my sappy romantic All-Broadway fanmix for Phoenix/Miles from Ace Attorney.

Fanmix cover art by mustachossom.

Tracklist and notes under the cut here.

1. “Best Worst Mistake” from If/Then

It’s not that I don’t love you,‘cause I don’t not love you

And I’d lie to say I’m never sometimes always thinking of you

But when something’s deeply felt, it seems shallow just to say 

The thing that’s expected, the same dull cliche

I wanted to start with an upbeat song before plunging into Feelings Hell. And as befitting the concept of the show “If/Then” I consider this to be the “what if” for these two. As in, what if they actually talked about their feelings from the start, these silly boys. With Phoenix as David and Miles as Lucas as if that wasn’t obvious.

2. “I Know Him So Well” from Chess

Looking back I could have played it differently

 Won a few more moments who can tell 

But it took time to understand the man 

Now at least I know I know him well

WILL I EVER NOT ASSOCIATE CHESS TOO CLOSELY WITH ACE ATTORNEY (I still blame you, space). So in “Chess” this is two women singing about the same man (Florence, Anatoly’s mistress, and Svetlana, Anatoly’s wife, because WAY TO BE ANATOLY). In my twisted OTP version this is actually Phoenix and Miles singing separately about each other and how they’ve come to know each other but don’t think they can be together because they are silly and super bad at communication.

3. “I Guess I’ll Miss the Man” from Pippin

And I won’t miss his moods, his gloomy solitudes

 His blunt abrasive style 

But please don’t get me wrong, he was the best to come along

 In a long, long while

Yes I will shove Pippin into everything. Here we have Phoenix’s point of view since it takes Miles a rather long while to learn a better way of coping with things than “FUCK OFF TO EUROPE WHENEVER I FEEL A THING.”

4. “There’s a Fine, Fine Line” from Avenue Q

And I don’t have the time to waste on you anymore

 I don’t think that you even know what you’re looking for 

For my own sanity, I’ve got to close the door and walk away

ANGST TIME AHOY. This is clearly Phoenix during the whole year of “Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death” and trying very unsuccessfully to convince himself that he’s okay with this.

5. “Anthem” from Chess

And you wonder will I leave her - but how? 

I cross over borders but I’m still there now

MILES EDGEWORTH IS CONSTANT IN HIS OWN WAY. AND IS ALSO A BIT OF AN ASS.  He may be constantly fucking off to Europe, but he can’t escape the unnecessary feelings in his heart. So in “Chess” this is Anatoly singing about his love for his land (hence the “she” pronouns because MOTHER RUSSIA). So I guess I’ve made the “she” his feelings for Phoenix? I think I lost track of the metaphor in a big way with this one, but we all know that what really matters is HIS LAND’S ONLY BORDERS LIE AROUND HIS HEAAAAAAAAAART.

6. “Send in the Clowns” from A Little Night Music

Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair?  

Me here at last on the ground, you in midair

FORGIVE ME FOR THIS ONE, SONDHEIM. Okay, so in the context of “A Little Night Music” this is a rather bitter reflection on a truly dysfunctional relationship, and not much of a love song. But listening to it on its own, I had the image of Phoenix reflecting on his and Miles’ relationship and how they can never seem to get it together or get the timing right (also with a dash of “well I messed up yet again” probably shortly post-disbarment, there should be clowns indeed). (also I may have had the image of Phoenix singing this at the wedding and Miles says “you’ve completely missed the point of the song as usual, Wright” and Phoenix is kind enough to not remark on the tear in the corner of his eye)

7. “Being Alive” from Company

Someone to crowd you with love, someone to force you to care 

Someone to make you come through 

Who’ll always be there, as frightened as you

 Of being alive, being alive

Behold my maximum Miles Edgeworth feelings with this one. In the musical “Company” Bobby is not singing about a specific person, but rather finally accepting the idea of a true connection in his life. Now, however, it is Miles working through his love for Phoenix and how it does not match with what he wanted out of life, but is finally accepting that he does want to share his life with him.

8. “For Good” from Wicked

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun 

Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood 

Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?  

But because I knew you, I have been changed for good

Yes I have used this on a fanmix before. No, I do not care. I also do not care that it is a cliche, these two OTPs will collide, darnit. Finally they duet again as they speak truly of how much they’ve helped and hurt each other, and happily realize they’ve both changed each other for good.

9. “Bare” from bare: a pop opera

I’ve never been this bare / I’ve never been so scared 

I’ve never felt such honesty / Don’t stop we’ll never leave 

A moment of such peace / Each of us standing bare 

Still you are here with me / Knowing who we have to be

I just needed a super feelsy male love duet for this, and lo here it is. While the story of Peter and Jason’s relationship in “bare” does not have a happy ending (IT VERY VERY MUCH DOES NOT), this romantic song still fits a happier ending for Phoenix and Miles, as they accept that no matter what happens in the future, even if they must part again, their love shall remain forever in their hearts.

10. “Unusual Way” from Nine

In a very unusual way, I owe what I am to you 

Though at times it appears I won’t stay I never go  

Special to me in my life since the first day that I met you  

How could I ever forget you, once you had touched my soul? 

 In a very unusual way, you’ve made me whole

THANK YOU SPACE FOR THE FINAL PIECE. It seems a bit unfair to end with such a clearly Miles song, but this is my fanmix so what did you expect? It just seemed like the perfect ending, with Miles laying out the unusual and wonderful effect that Phoenix has had on his life.

Wow, still here? Then ENJOY!

[melien]

Eden Lee Tisdale for @socialjusticesimblr‘s Slaughter or Salvage BC

Over-Emotional / Good / Friendly / Natural Cook / Photographer’s Eye

Eden Lee, 23, is a cheerful and friendly person who’s always open to expand their horizons, yet in fact they’re full of insecurities, which they mostly prefer keeping to themself. However, deep inside Eden Lee is hoping to find this special person who they can share everything with, and who will accept and love them. That’s why Eden Lee decided to enter Lorelei Kessler’s bachelorette challenge, genuinely hoping she’s the one. Of course they’re a little bit nervous because of their hearing impairments, struggling with which (along with trying to find their place in society) often results into mental kind of disorders, but they believe Lorelei and other people in the house will be supportive and make them feel like they belong.

TOU: Don’t claim them as your own or reupload, don’t change their genetics and face features. You can change anything else in their look (hairstyle, makeup, clothes, your own defaults etc.). Tag me if you use them :)

CC: hair / blush #9 / pattern

Private download unless they’re eliminated.

Interview under the cut.

Universal Questions: Personal information! Age, gender identity, species, place of usual residence, etc. I'm Eden Lee (yeah, usually people call me by my double name), 23 years old. I identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. I'm a human, and came from Bridgeport, where I live in the suburbs with my family: parents and younger sister who’s sixteen. What are the specifics of your disability / disabilities? Is there anything we need to do in order to accommodate you and your needs fully? When I was fourteen, I had a really bad accident followed by serious head injury and lots of surgery, which resulted into hearing complications that I still continue to struggle with. I can slightly hear only some sounds very close to me, so I have to ask others to speak distinctly and preferably into my ear, if they don't know the sign language. The next year after the accident I entered high school, and this wasn't the best time. I always felt rejected because I genuinely tried to make friends, and some people just turned their backs and went away with obvious irritation whenever I politely asked to repeat something they said. I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since then which caused lots of self-hate and mood swings, and even though I feel it has become better lately, the symptoms still can kick in whenever I experience some kind of stress. So, I really hope people in the house will talk to me, notice me and be my friends. That’s all I ask for... not treating me as an empty space. No matter what, I still believe in humanity. I heard this challenge is a safe place for people with disabilities, so I'm optimistic. How would you describe yourself? How would your friends describe you? I'm just a regular person who tends to be too emotional and anxious at times, as well as too kind and indulgent, which isn't my best quality - I would give everything to become stronger and learn to stand my ground, because I’m quite easy to manipulate. I don't have a lot of friends, we communicate in sign language with those few I have. They usually say that I'm the most harmless and least selfish person in the world. That's good, right? But I take other people's problems very seriously, to the extent of them becoming my own burden, and always overthink, which isn't good for my mental health, so I guess I still have to learn to put myself first. I probably shouldn’t list only negative things... Sometimes, when I’m able to think clearly, I notice that I actually like myself in general. I can’t imagine being different, and I’m proud of who I am. Random bit of trivia about yourself, or your hobbies, or your romantic past My hobbies involve cooking and taking photos of the world - it's my huge inspiration and comfort whenever I start feeling down. I have a photography blog where I post my pictures, and my followers make me feel like I matter, they're seriously the sweetest. Hmmm, romantic past? I'll tell you the truth - I haven't really been with anyone. For long years I've had higher priorities than relationships, moreover constant hospital appointments took a lot of my time and powers. I had some crushes, but they were short-lived... Why did you enter this BC?* Are you nervous? What do you hope to attain? ... so I guess, it's time to regain what I missed and start looking for true love? Everyone deserves it. My demons kept telling me that I won't be good enough for someone, especially someone as great as Lorelei. But I perfectly understand it's not true. So yeah... of course I'm nervous, but it's a good kind of. I'll just try to act like I usually do, without thinking of competition and pressure. It's not the main point for me. Lorelei's feelings is what matters the most: if she likes me, I'll be really happy and grateful. If we're not meant to be, it's fine. But deep inside, of course, I hope for the first option. Lorelei Specific Questions: What are your thoughts on Lorelei herself? What made you decide to try to win her hand instead of Lyra’s? Both ladies are beautiful inside and out, they inspire me to be the better person and I admire them for starting this challenge - this is a truly great thing to do. However, I had to choose, and I felt like we have more in common with Lorelei. Just looking at her picture made me feel like she might become this awesome friend I never had, and we'll exchange support in our hardest times. I have a lot to learn from her. By the way, this strange feeling that I'll be safe by her side... that I made a right choice... is it just me? Never mind. What are your greatest fears? Oh, man... My greatest fear is that I'll waste my life. That I'll never accomplish anything great, or make a significant difference in this world. Honestly, I really want to help people with the same disabilities as me, I feel like it’s my mission. But I don't even know where to start... my mental issues haven't gone anywhere and I'm still struggling, so how can I help others when I'm a mess myself? Uh... Alright, I don't really want to tear up right now, because trust me, when I start crying, it lasts long. I’m an ugly crier, ha... Next question. What is your moral compass like? Do you believe in absolute good or absolute evil? I’m aware there can’t be absolute good or absolute evil: life isn’t just black or white. However, no matter what has happened to me before and almost made me lose my faith, I would like to believe every single person has got something good in them. How interested are you in music? It’s one of Lorelei’s on-off special interests, so you may need to be proficient in it to catch up. I love music! Before the accident I was pretty good in playing piano. Even though I'm partially deaf, I can hear music when I'm wearing my earphones and listen at maximum volume, and I'm really grateful to my medical care providers for not letting me stay completely deaf after the accident, because I wouldn't be able to survive without music. I like a lot of different genres, mostly easy-listening acoustic songs that help me relax. I also try to keep up with the trends and check the top chart positions every week. The only thing I strongly dislike is electronic music, as it is too heavy and gives me headache. If you lose, will you be able to cope? I won't lie, I'm quite sensitive and it's hard for me to deal with rejections, but it honestly depends on the circumstances, so I can't say anything exact for now. First of all I have to meet Lorelei and other contestants, and I can't wait to get started!

[deadcactuswalking]

The Beauty of “Doin’ Your Mom” by Ray William Johnson

Love him or hate him, Ray William Johnson is a pioneer of new media. He was one of the most famous YouTubers back in the day in what was about the late 2000s and early 2010s, and was really the first dude to make a true, long-term career on the platform, forming a company just to fund his Equals Three show, which, yes, it’s somewhat unwatchable but it’s vintage YouTube so I give most of it an excuse and play it off as dated comedy from someone who was actually old enough to know better, but it was a different time and I’m actually consistently impressed by Ray and how he continues to pop up everywhere as nostalgia for the early days of YouTube starts to seep into this post-ironic era of Internet culture, as people remember the remnants of the more sincere YouTube, with people like Quinton Reviews, TheGamerFromMars and wavywebsurf making informative videos about the classic YouTube and its viral videos that propel someone into stardom for at least about 15 minutes. Now we’re in the age of a company-fuelled platform that treats its community of content creators as the fries on the side of their order of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Do I miss the days of “Chocolate Rain” and when any viral hit could make it through the cracks? Of course I do, but it’s not like that can’t happen and memes can’t spread, look at how Lil Nas X has taken advantage of the memes surrounding “Old Town Road” to build his own career – and it was only a matter of time before massive companies learned how to use the Internet. I’d argue Ray is at fault at least in some capacity for making the transition to a talk show highlights website a tad cooler, though, and it’s not like he wasn’t making himself and his show (As well as his animated “Band” which I’m pretty sure is just him) a brand in itself. Ray overall was a fascinating man and still is, and whilst most of his content isn’t looked upon fondly, he does have a few gems in there, like “Orphan Tears” from the Your Favorite Martian days, one I still jam to every now and then, because it’s catchy and whilst incredibly dated now due to the club beat and Bill Cosby references doesn’t feel like it won’t last the test of time like most other YouTube content that has ever been uploaded, especially its music – including the more recent stuff from people like the Paul brothers, but before “It’s Everyday Bro” there was another iconic comedy hip hop track on YouTube that I’d argue is a much more judicious choice for analysis, and it was by Fatty Spins – often stylised as FAttY SPiNS for the sake of confusion – a hip-hop collective fronted by Ray William Johnson and his friends Micfri (The white dude) and Breeze, a singer and according to this song, guitarist? They released about six known songs and have since been lost in the sands of time, at least for all we know. This is my review of the hip-hop classic, “Doin’ Your Mom”.

SONG REVIEW: “Doin’ Your Mom” – FAttY SPiNS (Ray William Johnson)

This song only has 400,000 views on its music video as we speak and it’s on the official channel for the band (The description states Micfri uploaded it) so I’m perplexed, I thought it was much bigger but I suppose it’s either a late reupload or it was never as viral as I assumed. Anyway, let’s dive deep into “Doin’ Your Mom”.

Doin’ your mom, doin’-doin’ your mom, doin’ your mom, doin-doin’ your mom...

I’m not even going to get into the absolutely insane video that screams early YouTube but it’s pretty cute, it’s just a bunch of adults probably too old to be yelling along to the repeated refrain of “Doin’ your mom” but they’re having fun  with it at least, although Micfri makes no effort to actually lip-sync. My favourite shots in the video include of course the iconic intro where they walk on the street with a boombox like they just walked away from an explosion and the acapella version of the hook plays in the background like it was the most grandiose chorus in the history of music, but also honestly any shot where Ray is making a face, like at about 1:20, the shot with the green-screened purple background while the hook’s playing. I know this is intended to be funny (That’s why I didn’t do this for April Fools as I was going to; it felt too contrived) but there are parts in the video that seem so natural and like they thought the song was so much better than it is, and it’s almost more humorous than the song itself. Let’s briefly cover the instrumental while we’re here – it’s nothing all too special but it’s a fitting backing for the epic feel the song has, with the reverb and echo on Ray’s voice as he sprays over an odd yet VERY late-2000s fusion of rock and hip-hop, as there are some GarageBand-sounding guitars and a buzzing synth that help propel the intense strings that almost carry the song, with additional little tweaks like the twinkling synths adding a lot of punch but not making it too cluttered. Honestly, there are some parts of the song that seem like genuinely great musical ideas that may seem kind of wasted on this topic, like the screeching guitar solo or when the beat cuts out in the middle of each verse just to return with the guitar added and an additional synth melody, with both Ray and Micfri’s verses reflecting this change in a shift of their flow. I should probably add that Ray is actually a pretty good rapper for a YouTube personality, and his voice is suited for tracks like this (Yeah, somehow the chorus never gets old despite being repeated ad nauseum). As one of the comments said on the band’s Equals Three Wiki page (Yes, that exists and its comment section is hilariously absurd), he kind of sounds like he could voice Knuckles the Echidna.  That’s enough rambling about how oddly appealing this song is sonically and let’s get straight to the meat and potatoes.

COOL TRANSiTiON

The last line of the hook has always puzzled me.

You know we straight, we doin’ your mom!

“Yes, I had to confirm I am in fact heterosexual by engaging in intercourse with your mother”. I know “Straight” is part of hip-hop slang and refers to people who don’t engage in criminal or dangerous activity like gang violence...

Yeah, we straight but if you wrinkle up the situation, he will go grab the iron – Tyler, the Creator on “OKRA”

..But did we really need reassurance from Ray William Johnson that he and his friend Micfri aren’t shooting people? – Oh, and what does this have to do with doin’ my mom? I shouldn’t worry, the verses go into fascinating detail about how Ray and Micfri met my mother as they trade bars recalling the event.

I’m doin’ your mom, yes, yours! / I first saw her in the Wal-Mart picking out your drawers

Micfri’s first verse is probably the most normal verse here, and doesn’t really have anything I can make all too much fun of other than an awful pun, until it ends because the last line is... well...

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me / So we went and rocked the minivan like, “Giggity, giggity, giggity”

Micfri goes painfully offbeat just to shove his awkward Family Guy reference in there because I guess it still was 2010 and the show was still relevant, although I’d argue it has more of a place on YouTube now that those funny moments compilations are piling up way more views than they should. That’s all fine, right? Like there’s nothing in this verse that is too interesting, but that dreadful joke transitions pretty hilariously into when Ray comes in...

I was ridin’ your mom like she’s Mario Kart / I gave her a lift back to her crib ‘cause her car wouldn’t start

Yeah, okay, he stretches out some sentences and mumbles a few lines so they barely fit the meter but it works in such a janky manner because the rest of the song is an absolute mess anyway so if anything Ray is just making it work, because, mmm, he just gets it. I love he pronounces words here as well, it’s odd as hell, especially when he accentuates “Car” with a high-pitched and slightly Canadian accent?

How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Oh, my God, I forgot about this part. This is obviously a reference to the ancient Dragon Ball Z meme where Vegeta says Goku’s power level is at “over 9000” in the 4Kids dub and it was probably funny then, but with the gang vocals and his enthusiastic delivery, it’s even funnier now with nearly a decade of hindsight. There are some jokes that legitimately hold up though, mostly because they’re not incredibly dated and instead rely on Ray’s wit.

Yeah, she called me Pledge ‘cause I knocked the dust off her

Come on, that’s actually pretty clever, I suppose. Ray’s still a comedian after all despite all the memery so he has some clever jabs throughout his verses at least, especially the second verse, which is... even more interesting.

I like your momma’s big butt, and I cannot lie

That’s a cool reference that doesn’t feel forced because it fits in with the song. Nice, we’re seeing some improvement.

We make sexy time, yes? And every night I tap that / She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half-black

Wh... What? I thought Ray WAS half-black? Is that the joke? I don’t know, I mean seemingly it’s saying how black men are stereotyped to be packing under there but HALF-black? Aren’t you underselling yourself a bit there, Ray? Also, he’s already half-black, or at least mixed. I mean, he’s said the N-word once or twice before on Equals Three so I assumed he had to have some sort of privileges. Is he just that insanely tanned? This is probably the second most questionable punchline in the song, we’ll get to the worst one in a bit.

And I blame it on the al-al-alcohol

Wow, this song really IS dated, huh?

She likes the donkey punch, she likes the dirty Sanchez / Sometimes, she even likes to fool around in YOUR bed

Okay, that is epic, and by that I mean it’s the only bar in this track that feels like it was a good diss directed towards the listener, because most of this song goes into grim detail about the intercourse with said listener’s mother but none of it is as ruthlessly personal as that one.

And I’ll be honest, she likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna

Oh... Oh... That’s, uh, that’s a big yikes from me, Ray, Jesus, okay, well, this was topical in 2010 but I’m still not going to excuse this. I don’t mind using Chris Brown’s domestic assault case as a punchline against him because he deserves all the vitriol he gets, but relating him leaving Rihanna bruised and bleeding after having her phone smashed and being punched and freaking BITTEN to having rough sex with the listener’s mother is insanely insensitive, and how the drum pattern cuts out for Ray to say the last part, especially with the reverb on his voice, makes it even more awkward. You’ll be glad to know, however, that Micfri immediately justifies that horribly problematic bar with easily the best on the track.

She’s so therapeutic when I need to cure my restlessness / I (Brrrrrr) motorboat your mom’s breastesses

I don’t know if it’s the “Brrrr” or the “breastesses” but this line is hilarious to me, and I have mostly no idea why it’s such a good one. Anyway, the verses are finished now, so you expect us to have just a few repeats of the chorus until the song ends, right? But no. We have a bridge, and it’s the gorgeous climax of the song (No pun intended) that honestly may just be the best part, other than the comments on its Wiki page, but we’ll get to that. Breeze croons the bridge in cheap Auto-Tune, and the amount of vocal effects that are added unnecessarily to accentuate the oddly profound lyrics here, that are said only twice but are so essential to why the song has aged much better than it seems to have on the surface.

I’m havin’ sex with your mother and that makes me (Better, better) better than you

There’s something I can’t describe about this bridge and the subsequent guitar solo that makes it work so effectively, and I’m left speechless by it every time. The best part is I’m not joking for the most part, and this song, despite its mind-numbing chorus and incredibly dated and at some times shockingly offensive lyrics, it’s aged incredibly well because it knows it will not be taken seriously and is entirely self-aware, but in a way that doesn’t seep into the song’s content. Most memes these days are TOO self-aware, so when a legitimate, genuine meme comes along that embraces it instead of revelling in it, I’m fully supportive.

You was at the club / Bottoms up when I first met you – The Boyboy Westcoast on “Bottoms Up”

Boyboy embraces the meme and he has a very lighthearted perspective and modest attitude on the song that makes his self-awareness less of an aging factor, and it’s the same for Ray, but some of the memes feel self-aware to a fault when they’re all too loud about the sarcastic manner in which they desperately cling onto a self-awareness that may not actually be there, like when the Backpack Kid did that awfully cringeworthy Verified video on Genius about his flossing song. The heart wasn’t there and it felt plastic and manufactured, but it’s all present in Ray, Micfri and Breeze, as they’re all having fun dancing in the video and while they know they’re really stupid and they look like lunatics, they don’t care... and disregarding the comments of the wiki page in which anonymous users respond to in-depth analysis and rankings of the Mario Kart games with “I will end you”, and no, I’m not kidding, that is the beauty of “Doin’ Your Mom”.

You know we straight, we doin’ your mom

deadcactuswalking

Seriously though check out the wiki page for both the song and the band (They’re linked here). The comments are beautifully absurd.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 08

rip it’s a lot of stuff, some good, some weird….

Anonymous said: do you like eating ass? I bet your booty is thicc and juicy :)

idk who would even send this but ummm I’m a bottom so yeah.. that answers that wedhfnsh have u nice day/night <3

@thesimpley2k​  said: your cc is so beautiful! and you’re a britney stan :) ily sis

thank youuuuu omg ily2 lmao I don’t voice my Britney stanness much but once B10 starts getting more hyped up I’ll be back up there! Thank you again and rip original make me MV

Anonymous said: Oof I need all of your wip hairs right now            

oof you haven’t even seen half of them sweetie ;) I have 10 wip hairs as of now so like… you’ve seen 4 on this blog through edits/playlists. the rest are on my patreon and some go on my wips section in my discord (omg shameless plug im sorry but its true)

Anonymous said: Can we gift you packs through origin?

if u want?? idrk how that works tbh ;-; if u did tho like rsdfgfbvc thank you!!! I prob will only buy packs that I can use for cc from now on tbh ;-; my computer is at that point where i need to be really picky about stuff, plus imo they arent worth it wedfgdbfn i regret buying most of the SP’s

Anonymous said: Are you posting a shorter version of the Zoey Hair as shown in your latest post because it looks amazing?!!!!!

thank you!!! That is basically what the idea of it is lmao, but I think im gonna make an accessory hair clip for it too. Not 100% sure yet tho

@agentwashsims​ said: Crying over the wip hair and the grimes reference! Okay you’re still perfect and ily that it all okay bye. 

aaah thank you! grimes is so good omg Art Angels is my favorite album but there are a lot of ongs on Visions I like as well. I like a little bit of Halfaxa toooooo

Anonymous said: Hi, would it be possible for you to just reupload the lydia hair post? As it’s marked as sensitive content, I can’t see the picture and I’d really like to be able to have a look at it before I download it.

Hi! I emailed tumblr support about it since it has been over a month since it has been up for review. Hopefully they get it worked out soon <3 there is a picture of it on my download page if you want to look at it there

Anonymous said: Hey, how do I do Patreon? I want to but i’m new to all those things of Patreon cause now I want lots of hairs that need it, and I wanna learn how can I Patreon you!

Hello! Hopefully you see this haha. Patreon is sort of like Netlfix in it is a monthly charge for goods. To get 3 cc hairs early each month, it is a $1 pledge. Higher pledges get better rewards(such as watching me work on cc, getting to vote on hair releases, and more). I think that Patreon is a great way to help support creators as long as they do it right (no exclusive CC). I really hope this helps you and thank you so much if you decide to pledge any ammount <3

Anonymous said: When are going to upload your maxis match hairlines? Like in a post

oml I am horrible lmao I deleted them and don’t seem to have them backed up, but I will maybe make more in the future?? I honestly don’t find them that usable on most hairs but everybody is different so we will see <3

Anonymous said: Is the black braided hair on your April Playlist a WIP? If not WCIF it cuz it’s gorgeous <333 Ily.

issa wip for Juneee

Anonymous said: how old are you?

18 d2f m4m

Anonymous said: What is your Origin ID?

spotharris

Anonymous said: Hey! I 🖤 ur content btw and I wanted to just like clarify something. Ur posts say u can recollect but don’t include the mesh. What does that mean exactly??? Do people still need the mesh for the recollections to show up in game?? Sorry if this is really dumb, I’m a new simblr. Thx!            

hey!! sorry for the super late reply omg, welcome to simblr!! it is kinda crazy here but hopefully u can find ur peeps and make a nice home :) anywaysssss i think u mean recoloring, which is like when people add different colors other than the 18 EA base colors. I don’t allow people to use the meshes mainly bc I know that sometimes I have to go back and update things and this way the recolors don’t have a broken mesh and require that person to redo their package.

Anonymous said: whose ur fave member of lOoNa

my rankings as of right now: Kim Lip, Go Won, Olivia Hye, JinSoul, HyunJin, Chuu, HeeJin, Choerry, HeeJin, HaSeul, ViVi, and then YeoJin

also omfg if u have jinsoul/kim lip/choerry limited edition mix&match photocard and would like to gift me it then umm PLEASE they are impossible to find and i need for my collection ;-;

@disneynsims​ said: I am also a massive Britney Spears fan, and I have to say I appreciate you naming your hairs after her songs. I do make one small request, that a hair eventually be named after one of her best bonus tracks, “Up n’ Down”.

omg Up N’ Down is one of my least favorites on femme fatale grfbg but thank you!! I don’t really name hairs after her songs anymore :(

@issharky​ said: you’ve improved so much over the time! ive been following (on tsr and tumblr since i joined) since like 2016! ♥ still love your blog!            

ygvhbjn i didnt have a tsr but go awf lmao thank you!!! i was a mess in 2016 and a lil of 2017 <3

Anonymous said: Ur such a babe austin            

thx for sending this @dogsill​ ur a babe too 😘

Anonymous said: Discord? Patreon? And this are how a good simblr die

oof discord is literally like a groupchat thing but go off also patreon makes it so i release 3 hairs a month when before it was like 1 or 2 so ummm

Anonymous said: I have recently downloaded blender to make cc hairs, but I can’t zoom in, rotate, or do anything basically. Do you know of any tutorials that explain how to use it well/ in detail? (I have a windows laptop). Anyway, I recently discovered your hairs and I am in love!! Thank you for making so many beautiful pieces of cc!

urgg i really wish i could make video tutorials and stuff for blender and hairs :( I have tried about 3 or 4 times to record/stream and it is so laggy and just pure shit on stream and twitch. I kind of just learned stuff as i went in blender but a must have is a mouse of some kind, otherwise it is 10x harder

@alexschmidt629 said: Hey! I hope you’re doing a bit better than the last time you made your last post! I’m sorry to hear about all of that, being a senior is so difficult and college stuff is even more difficult. I hope you’re doing better!

thank you! I’m doing a bit better now :)

Anonymous said: holy shit it sounds like everything that literally could’ve gone wrong did. wishing u love and luck bb. and also i think its absolutely FINE that u put ur stuff up on patreon early, it’s still free in the end!! its just a choice to actually compensate cc creators for all that they do for us. god that person was just so rude and im kinda surprised at how kindly you took it. props to u xx 

yeah dsgf everything kinda went shitty the past few months but hopefully it all turns itself around :) and I try not to pick at any rude anons/asks in general bc I feel like by doing that it just causes more attention on the issue and more people/trolls want to jump on the band wagon. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Oh honey, you need prayers and I wish you the best of luck with fasts, college, moving, and the rest of your life. Stay strong hon you got this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you <3

Anonymous said: hi is there a version off the Ella hair that has a bun in the back or am I crazy? probs crazy honestly, but thx for answering

I think you are thinking of my Maja hair? It has a different bottom but it has those same bangs! It is here