#Ronny’s cat tofu

[ronnyraygun]

I can make GK sooooooo much sadder than it has to be.

[Check the Tags]

[kurolumiis]

sharing my selfship info for no reason (yes it’s different from luma (oc) ship info)

scaralumxiao [reminder they both date me, not each other] [cw: mentions of hentai, eating issues]

we’re all seniors in hs and are always seen with each other. like ppl look at us and are like “do they ever separate?” like no lmao

bc all of us have gone through intense trauma, we find comfort and safety in each other. others might find it annoying with repetitiveness, but we find sm comfort when we tell each other we’ll never leave and we’ll love each other forever.

bc of past relationships, we try our best to not be toxic. like instead of having our issues affect our relationship in a bad way, we share our issues and bond over wanting to work through them together.

scara helps me with schoolwork and catching up bc i get overwhelmed and fall behind a lot.

during our free periods (we have the same ones thank god), we hang out in the wellness center (a place where students can relax during free periods, lunch, or they just need a break. also there’s counselors there to talk if we need to) and mainly chat, play video games, or watch youtube videos.

we hang out after school a lot and we mainly spend the night at xiao’s place bc zhongli doesn’t bother us.

i give love letters to them and they give love letters to me bc they love seeing how flustered i get over them (im so weak for love letters omfg).

forehead kisses>>

during sleepovers, we get high and i force them to watch spongebob conspiracy theories and hentai with me. we laugh and judge hentai together and get no real arousal or pleasure out of it. it’s just something i do for some reason when im high and brought it into the highs i spend with my bfs <33

they listen to my weird and random rants when im high, like they’re genuinely so random but also real at the same time.

they both keep their houses stacked with foods i enjoy so if i come over i always have something to eat (in fact they make sure i eat at least a full snack/meal each time i come over).

zhongli always greets me when i go to xiao’s and even gives me head pats (head pats from father figures>>)

they always act so stubborn when i go over to one of their houses without the other :( but they get over it with a few kisses <33

i always wear their hoodies, sweatshirts, and sweatpants. my friends always know when i wear my bfs clothes vs mine.

they both secretly keep photo albums of me but don’t tell me because im so self-conscious and would tell them to delete them. (i have no place to speak tho bc i have photo albums of them too)

we’re cat parents. i have two cats named ronnie (after my grandfather, i miss him :( ) & rosalina, xiao has a beige cat named tofu (after almond tofu), and scara has one named kuro.

we don’t do this as much now bc ive abandoned my switch (i miss it everyday) but we play mariokart. i main rosalina (for obvious reasons) and toad (first comfort character tbh), xiao mains green shy guy (he went with mario at first and i told him to at least go with someone interesting), and scara mains tanooki mario bc i didn’t talk to him for a whole day when he used cat peach for a race (my jealousy issues are horrible).

both of them kept an endless supply of monster energy before they dated me and when they started dating me and found i loved it sm they shared it with me (they would never share it with anyone else tho).

they each bought me one kuromi plushie (i have too many plushies on my manga shelves).

out of the three of us, only xiao can drive. but we always walk to gas stations & stores. on one weekend, he took us to a cool bookstore a couple hours away from where we live.

scara’s always so jealous when xiao keeps his hand on my thigh when he’s driving.

we slander my toxic ex friends together.

their weakness is when i play with their hair and my weakness is when they call me ‘love’, ‘darling’, & ‘sweetheart’.

we have our own playlist.

i don’t have LED lights in my room (i have a xiao lamp that’s kinda LED but that’s all) but they do, so at night, we turn them on red and blast chase atlantic. next concert near me again we’re going to. (we’re all mad we didn’t go to the first one i went to together)

stoner thruple <33

lumheng

kinda the same as luma (oc) & dan heng. both seniors. he helps me with schoolwork a lot. tries to motivate me to go to physics but it’s really difficult being in that class :( especially bc he’s not there.

we’ve had sm sleepovers it’s gotten to a point where i can’t sleep without him. i need him to hold me close and stroke my hair, whispering about all the things he loves about me until i fall asleep.

we share our manga collections with each other (we don’t let ANYONE touch our mangas).

he puts up with watching the deadpool movies with me.

he tucks my hair behind my ears and tells me i look better this way, and i tell him no, give him an annoyed look, and untuck the hair. (the little action flusters me tho)

tea drinker couple

he keeps pipeline punch at his house just for me.

we recommend each other songs.

he watched ‘the vampire diaries’ just for me.

he can drive and i can’t so whenever im going through shit and text him i need him, he always zooms over.

he loves it when i walk around his house in his black shirts and my shorts.

he rubs my shoulders when im stressed.

err adios

[1863-project]

A Comprehensive List of Bob Mortimer’s Cat Names

Someone made a search that you can check, but I decided to just put them all in one easy list for my own amusement. Remember, they’re just £8.00 p.a.!

Most recent cat names tweet: August 8th, 2019

Tony Caramel

Ron Paving

Clive Eloquence

Paul Workclothing

Gary Chapati

Ken Turmoil

Max Panscourer

Pat Twat (with a sibling; Pat and Ron Twat cannot be split)

Len Murder

Dave Bowl

Barbara Lighthouse (reappears later as Barbara’s Lighthouse)

Perry Similar

Kenny Carpets

Tracy Everywhere

Johnny Cointreau

Mark Pork

Todd Farty

Anton Saucepans

Muriel Breakthrough

Ronnie Pom-pom

John Pudding

Brad Shit

P.O. Box 6

Ken Tussle

15 Inch Ron

Dean Atlas

Aromatic Pat

Craig’s Anus

Mary Berry’s Crack Den

Duncan Sparkles

Low Tim

Madam Hats

Ali Ballbag Ltd. (reappears as Ali Ballbag without the Ltd. later)

Long Ron

Tepid Ken

Ruth Worksurface

Roxy Backwater

Duncan Cardoors

Sausage and Tits

Pat Stott

Donny Fortuna

Careful Tits

Bobby Resistance

Special Agent Parsley

Anton Crackpipe

Sargeant Walnuts (sp.)

Pete! Dave! Over Here!

Sausages and Laughter (x2)

Debbie Wilson

Ishram Canister

Jupiter Whistles

Shakira’s Cock

Babs Moonwater

Ricky Drinkingchocolate

Bitter n’ Tits

Cat McPatPiss

Pork Water

Funk Kurtain

Meal of Rice (x2)

Webcam Gary

Aldi Suitcases

Papa Halfords

Ocado Stungun

Tits McMillets

Threat Level Tesco

Agent Shitfarm

Mainly Sausages

Titted Biscuits

The Cable Guy

Frank Canons Cock

Twenty Posts

Flappy McSusan

Shitfarm Padlock

Pillau Nice

Django Untrained (x3)

Kenny Mousetits

Gas Board Shitstorm

Gary Plasters

Let It Go From Frozen

6 Miles to Debenhams

Ken Lump

Sarah Access

Don Partial

Cool Balls

Mick Moth

Flicks Puffins

Angela Ding-Dong

Pat McPuff

Whistles McFarmland

Roy Mincemeat

Kate Peppers (minimum 3 year lease)

Bus Pass Ron

Kitchen Shitstorm

Wendy Broadcast

Bert Onesie

Karen Pancake

King Ali Shitty Shotty

Steve Briefcase

Randy Pancake (a sibling of Karen?)

Shitfarm Sprinkler

Jane Coconuts Gun

Whistles McCrackling

Jim Equipment

Ron O’Congo

Mars Barr

Pat Shatty

Len Chestweasels

Humphrey Barcode

Shit Car

Gentle Kenneth

Rusty Seduction

Doctor Handrail

Dusty Handmusic

Quality Parsnips

Edith’s Tits

7 Hamburgers

Mike Drink

Napoli Rodriguez

Fish and Tits

Gary Whelks

Pat du Jour

Sandy Fingerings

Dusty Sequence

FriendlyToffeeBloke

Buttery Ken

Fox Leftovers (x2)

The Anus

Jackie Doritos

Harry Tits

Billy the Pigeon

Honestly Shitfaced

Darren Plunge

Ronnie California

Karen Cobblers

Geoffrey Fire

ITV One

Top Heavy Ken

Comfortable Derek

Patrick Cups

ITV One + 1

Passive Matthew

Keith’s Dick

Yusef Nightmares

Watery Ron

The Cake

The Evil Coin

Tanned Hand

Formally Bernard

50 Shits

Strongly Ron

Intelligence and Turnips

The Bomb Club

Zac Parliament

Gary Venue

Buttery Paul

Long Rodney

Papa Handwash

Ravioli Townsend

Cuba Big Tits Jr

Watery Bill

Slightly Tofu

Indian Suitcase

Ian’s Butter

Meal of Pickles

Floating Tiger Hidden Moorhen

Yousef Metabolism

BBC’s The Office

Alison Hedgefund

Christ in Flight

Remote Toby

Sensual Ken

Mr Shite

Swords and Cakes

Dons Crabs

Ken Wok

Todd Nightly

All The Meats

Gradual Henry

Problems and Co

Anal September

Turkey Disturbance

Presently Walnuts

Crackers McKnackers

Brian Harvey’s Xmas

Greetings O’Jesus

Nut 31

Anus of Snow

Wizard of Tits

Vegan Relative

Sprouts McStuffing

X-Factor Final

Greetings From Hull?

Lovely Sprouts

The Sack

Inspector Partridge

Aldi 5-Bird Roast

[there’s more in the photo but sadly they’re cropped]

Kissy Lipsauce

Lacey Bedspread

Tender Gary

Softy Pinkpowders

Strokey McPokey

Ronnie Omelettes

Gary from Admin

Lidl Wayne

Aldi Best

Cedric Latenights

Broccoli Highkicks

Sirius Cockhopper

Bubbles McParty

Mr. Several Businesses

Donny Romance

Ken Rope

Puff Stepdad

Well Done Deborah

Fire Hawk

Valerie Simpleton

The Plasterer

Gary Avenue

I <3 Lids

Slippery Wilf

Alan’s Mam’s Dentist

Pork n’ Pancakes

Ring of Mince

The Carpet Fitter

Burnt Shite

Sausages and Makeup

Seeping Turkey Hidden Baubles

Donny Chestnuts

Paul Pogba’s Sat Nav

Terence Tinsel Jr.

Gifty McWhiffle

Jonny Fondling

Banana in Transit

The Gift of Barry

Chocolates Near Bottoms

Sentimental Craig

Not Now Raymond

The Many Chins of Derek O

Meet Me at Halfords

Brigadier Knickers

Rt. Hon. Nutty Shite

Russ Abbot’s Cape

Dave’s Hand Cream

Paul Blart Falafel Cop

Cupboard of Vests

Agnes Fags (cigarettes, not the slur)

German Ice

Liquorice Mick

The 8th Ron of Luton

That Bloke What Stinks

Ron’s Liquids

Hot Chilli Whistles

Pottery and Nonsense

The Very Long Bag

Dean Gaffney’s Cauldron

Lynn’s Windows

Chad Salad

Gustav Hosiery

Hans Downtrousers

Gerhardt Nightcreeper

Jean Paul BuggerAll

Atem Ben Chinstrap

Myfanwy Mindwallop

Carlos Whispers

H From Steppes