#SE give me their bittersweet interactions of give me DEATH

[catleha]

 @hyethla asked: falls asleep on her desk aka a depressing drabble nobody asked for.

  ‹  THERE WAS A SOFTNESS INSIDE HER; oft disregarded, set aside as if meant to fade & wither. Sparsely had she openly shown signs of a more mellow composure, something beyond the rough demeanor of a hardened scholar raised in a cave; ‘twould seem she was someone oh so in love with chiding words & a certain scorn, following in old matron’s footsteps oh so indignantly. Yet sometimes one could not help but surrender; a blink, a mere string of syllables muttered underneath her very breath: requesting help, leaning onto a dear friend’s shoulder. Oh, such moments were rare & brilliant in their subtlety -- clandestine, softest palm set against pugilist's very arm to express concern / an embrace shared with her dear astrologist after being saved from ash & cinder -- prone to bursts of compassion, expressed in her very peculiar way; admitting defeat, mourning the loss of so much / seemingly so little. 

      Oh, only two have ever borne witness to a more mild-mannered side; an astronomer, ever so delicately building the most unlikely camaraderie forged midst a raging forest fire & the desire to find someone to confide in. A healer, just like she once had been with a gift, however, not blighted by crude persona / whatever darkness dwelt within. -- why, Urianger’s very words never ceased to remedy what own doubt tempted to tear apart. The second was someone regarded with mayhaps a bit too much cordiality -- Lyse, an even more unlikely companion; pondering day & night about her whereabouts & well-being, as if one’s very existence was enough to threaten the lives of those she had chosen to love. What else could one of her kind do but worry, those that had died had mainly been hers to doom. -- perhaps that had been the sole reason for their unlikely bond; the agony felt over the loss of another. && through one would have never admitted anything similar: both, Papalymo & Minfilia had left a hole, a gaping void; ‘twas only herself she ought to blame for the demise of the latter. 

         Now & forevermore, it seemed.

      Memories oft lingered on that very day; seething light, own voice drowned by the very rumble heard above. -- flow. Oh, had she but known the repercussions of that wretched spell. Had she but known that next to the rogue she ought to save, yet another had been cast into the lifestream only to be grasped & used. Lost & forlorn, too far beyond an archon’s reach. && upon awakening, upon being torn out of a dreamless slumber, what numbness had overcome heart & soul both? This foreboding sentiment of something sinister / this excruciating feeling of uncertainty? Something had not been quite right, something no longer in place. -- pray, recall the anxiety / the panic / the paralyzing realization that one had PAID; for what, she could not tell alas alas, now she knew. 

    Blind eyes could not decipher the details of her unwelcomed guest's clothes, hair or stature, could not determine what the child’s motives had been ere drifting off. Yet ears could decipher a quiet little ‘snore’; most gentle breath, the minuscule rustle of accessories dragged across the wooden surface. The girl had most likely exhausted herself, had studied whatever ancient tome she had wagered to haul onto the sage’s own desk. -- inclined to sort papers & parchments, trying so desperately to be of use. For but a moment, a witch would remain, scorched gander cast above the oracle’s very head; drifting, yet again in keepsakes long forgotten. Aye, ‘twas a familiar sight. Yet in her memories ‘twas a woman hunched over her desk, asleep with her face resting upon latest paperwork; remember: usually beatific features twisted into some somber mien, with brows furrowed & petite wrinkles there to cast drab shadows across an otherwise juvenile visage. Never had younger self dared to disturb; why, the antecedent had had a tendency to hardly rest; not before all work was done. Always laboring, quarreling, intermingling. -- ears twitch, lids flutter. Remember, remember: you have been acquaintances, comrades, fellow scions bound by the will to protect & serve a greater good.

     Alas upon rogue & oracle’s arrival, there had been no love for a child bearing the name Minfilia of the First, no recollection, no merry moment meant to prompt some heartfelt reunion. Adamant & unforgiving, had MASTER MATOYA not but turned on her very heel, solemnly cursing what dear friends had dragged into her lair. What was this thing but a pawn cast out of Hydalyn’s maw; a mere trick, a carbon copy meant to manipulate & deceive. A common cause meant to anchor them to this wretched world. Torture! Naught but a crude joke with an aether as bright as the First’s original sin. -- & yet times had changed; here a girl oh so eager to please, to see the good in people, to be seen as someone else. 

     Seconds pass, ticking on & on ‘till craned neck grew stiff. ‘twas a cruel sentiment, destiny’s bitter hand dealt & taken. A curse, a horrid quip; an ache so palpable she could not ignore it no matter how much one attempted; to bury it alongside former self / to adjust & cease to trace the scar deeply craved into her very chest. Naught but a spectre, chained to the sins of yesteryear. -- what are you, if not a woman turned stone to bear & bear forevermore for the sake of those you have learned to love more than your very self? Again & again predestined to sacrifice yourself ‘till final breath would leave parted lips. Brushing loss aside akin to a common bruise. Predestined to stand tall, to be the voice of wisdom, of reason, of strength found in the most sullen of nights; to pave the way for THEIR WARRIOR OF LIGHT. && never falter, never break for those they could yet save.  -- o, all this came over her in this very moment, haunting, clawing at her very heart. All this & more, all this & ceaseless worry / guilt / most bitter regret. An old, bleeding wound; a knife stuck / grown between her ribs torn out by a girl who was as innocent as she was guilty.

     There, a witch moves, slender hand reaching for the very cloak she never forgot to don. A gallant motion dispatched that tattered thing ere yet another followed aether sight’s guiding hand. Clumsily would she drape the cloth over other’s slumbering body, her shoal glimmer briskly brightening an otherwise blackened field of vision before vanishing ever so slightly. 

     Lo, a witch moves once more / freed from prior stupor, eager to continue the same evening routine [ever sleepless]. Fleeing her study, eloping into the sheltering night. To not return ‘till Urianger would wake the oracle in the morrow, parting ways with the Night’s Blessed sage once more. Without a word, without a second glance; running, hiding [hypocrite] midst whispering winds & roots & everything wild; to again permit herself a moment of solitude / weakness, to allow frenzied mind to return to its former work. -- turning to stone whilst ears listened to the soft buzzing of the Greatwood’s nocturnal life. 

[miscellaneous-bnha]

Poly! Ghosts Hawks/Shouto x Fem! Reader

Commissioned by @bobawithpomegranate

CW: Nothing too bad. Strangers to friends to FWB to lovers, Some light angst, happy ending, Shouto eats Hawks’ cum to prove a point, Hawks and Shouto throwing shade at each other, spitroasting, reader is constantly overstimmed at the end --------------------------------------------------------

Your quirk quite literally made you see dead people.

Thankfully, you don’t actually have to see what caused their death, but rather during their best moment before their passing.

Your ability to interact with them, however, solely depends on their state of mind during their passing.

For people who were in grief over their passing, they were often too hysterical to communicate with.

People who’d come to accept their passing were easier to talk to, but touching was relatively impossible because they were on their way into transitioning into another life. Their energy was too little to physically interact with.

People who weren’t in grief over their passing, but still struggled to accept it would be able to make physical contact with you as well as avoid the hysteria.

In other words:

You hadn’t expected to literally run into pro heroes Hawks and Shouto

3 months after their supposed passing.

You were skeptical because no bodies were ever found.

But now you knew.

And it was awkward.

------------------------------------

“So…” you slide into your apartment with the ghosts of the former(?) pro-heroes shortly behind you, “you died during the last villain attack, then?” Hawks shrugs.

“Technically, yes, but also no. Do you remember what the villain’s quirk was?”

“To make people ‘disappear’ or something?”

“Yeah, something like that. Come to find out, their quirk turns people into ghosts. We don’t actually know if we’re dead or alive.”

“That would explain your continued existence then.”

For the next several hours, the three of you talk about the possibilities, but with no safe way of testing any of your theories, you opt to just giving them a space to stay, even if they don’t actually need it.

The next morning, you thank your lucky stars that you don’t have work, considering you would have been 4 hours late by now. You’re also slightly unnerved to find the both of them watching you.

“Sorry, but there isn’t exactly a whole lot we can do anymore. Watching you make funny faces in your sleep is the best we have.” Todoroki shrugs as you sputter indignantly,

“I don’t make funny faces.” “Sorry to tell you, but he’s not wrong. Your face is pretty funny.” you glare at the winged pro,

“You’re not helping.” He shrugs,

“Never said I was trying to.”

You decide to let them pick a Netflix show to leave on overnight, making sure it would continue to run for several hours uninterrupted as you slept.

--------------------------------------

the show they ended up coming to agree on was some weird trashy reality show.

You didn’t even know it’s existed.

But that’s ok

You didn’t need to know.

Watching them float around your apartment and explore was… a little unnerving, to say the least.

Considering this was your private space and all

But they were good company

Hawks talks a lot about how he misses fried chicken, and that you should eat some for him every time you try and get food together

Only to be interrupted by Todoroki

Honestly, you thought it was to be like “leave her alone and let her eat what she wants”

But then boy really was out here like “she should eat cold soba for me instead”

Like wow, thanks.

-----------------------------------

“C’mon, mini Endeavor! Don’t be so cold.” 

‘Wow, talk about shots fired.’ you raise your eyebrows, turning to Shouto

“Call me that again, and I’ll roast you alive you KFC reject.”

‘Oh yikes; returned serve.’ you look at Hawks from the corner of your eye.

“Oooh, feisty kitty. Little calico catboy. Besides, we’re ghosts; I don’t think you can kill me like this.”

‘Saucy. Pro Hero Hawks confesses to knowing what catboys are.’ you bite your lip, raising your glass to take a sip.

“Test me again and you’ll find out, Red Robin.”

‘He’s got you there.’ you nod to yourself.

“Fair enough.”

It’s silent for a moment; you set your glass down and look up just in time to see Hawks smirk.

“If it makes you feel better… your dad tastes about as awful as he acts.” It doesn’t make Shouto feel better, but it’s good to know that the most damage he can do is strangle Hawks.

----------------------------------------

“They’re good company” you decide

But you’ve been pent up for almost a month now, and you decide that you’re almost horny enough to rent a hotel room to ‘solve your problems’

But you don’t because that’s a little weird

That doesn’t stop you from fantasizing though.

You don’t expect them to be watching you in the morning one day

-----------------------------------------

“I thought I put Netflix on for y’all.” You turn into your pillow, groaning quietly as your legs and back stretch.

“We were watching it…” Todoroki starts,

“Then a certain little missy started making noises.” you grunt, perturbed.

“Okay, so I sleep talk. What about it?”

“I don’t know if you could call that *sleep talking*, per se…” You peek an eye open at Hawks, squinting when you notice his grin, “What do you think, catboy?”

“Definitely wouldn’t call it sleep talking.” He says from the other side of you. You don’t expect the small smirk on his lips, nor do you expect the way he stares at you so intensely.

“What… do you mean…?” you shove yourself further under your sheets, heart rising up into your throat.

“Sounds like someone’s a *little*...” Hawks looms over you, lips next to your ear, “pent up.”

You shiver hard, but cough and try to save face.

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?” you grumble, closing your eyes as if you were trying to go back to sleep.

“I bet if we take those pretty panties of yours, they’ll be soaked right now.” Hawks presses, eyes growing hungrier.

You flounder for a moment, and that’s all it takes for Hawks to make his move.

“Do you want some help, birdie? Want me to use my fingers on that pretty little pussy?” You shudder and whine, growing embarrassingly wet,

“I bet you’re just dripping from the thought, aren’t you?”

“Sh-shut up…” you spit weakly, pressing your thighs together.

“C’mon, why don’t you let me help?” His hands are slapped away before they can pull the sheets from you.

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to touch her,” Shouto slides his hand down your back; before you can whine in protest, more than willing to follow through, he continues.

“Maybe she’d rather have a real man touch her, not some ‘Original Recipe’ asshole.” You laugh into the pillow despite yourself.

Even now, Shouto somehow manages to make this into some strange competition they’ve been having, but you don’t complain when two pairs of— admittedly cold— hands pull away the sheets.

Especially when you’re no longer finding yourself in need of a hotel room.

----------------------------------------------

Somehow, you end up being Friends with Benefits with both of them.

Though they only ever used their fingers and mouths on you, but you weren’t going to complain

“It’s the least we could do, since you’re giving us somewhere to linger and free entertainment.”

Or so they said, anyway.

Somehow they learn just when you’re in desperate need of their touch before you even walk in through the door, almost instantly tugging you in and throwing your clothes off.

Despite the strange circumstances, you end up growing closer to the both of them over time

Part of you dreads the day you figure out how to reverse the villain's quirk

Assuming it’s possible

Not only were they both the best bed partners you could ask for

You genuinely enjoy their company and shady banter

But in moments when you’re all huddled up on the couch, watching yet another trashy reality show

You forget they’re ghosts in the first place

-------------------------------------

“God, I can’t believe Jasmine.” You scoff, throwing a piece of popcorn at the TV.

“Right? Paula didn’t deserve that shit. That girl is a queen.” Hawks grumbles in agreement, groaning when the interviewers cut to Jasmine.

“Agreed. Paula is queen.”

“It’s a miracle the two of you haven’t completely fried your brains watching this.” Shouto rolls his eyes, reading a book you brought home the other day.

“Shut up. You’re just mad Bernadette got voted off last week.” Hawks throws a kernel at Shouto, but— expectedly— it goes right through him.

“Bernie was the only decent girl and you both know it.” He glares, borderline pouting.

You smile, bittersweet. You grab the kernel that phased right through Shouto and continue watching the episode in silence.

You’re too lost in thought to notice the way they look at you.

-------------------------------------------

At one point, their words and touches become so much sweeter, even outside the bedroom

When, however, is a question you couldn’t even begin to answer.

Some days, you wake up to the two of them brushing your cheeks, your hair.

Shouto grabs your hand gently, planting a soft peck on it with a quiet ‘Good morning, sweetheart.’

Hawks following up with a kiss to your  temple, “how’d you sleep?”

Other times, they would greet you at the door, asking about your day as they helped you out of your coat, taking your bag from you.

It felt so domestic, so peaceful, so *loving*

 you were afraid of it shattering like glass under a sledgehammer

But as they say, all good things must come to an end

-------------------------------------------

“Good morning, hummingbird.” You groan when Hawks presses a kiss to your eyelid, warm fingers tracing over your cheek.

Warm?

You open your eyes, whipping your head to look at the winged hero, “Hawks? You’re warm??”

He grins, pretending to be bashful, “Oh, why thank you! I’ve been told I’m rather nice.”

“No no no, you’re warm. Not cold.” You grab his hand and inspect it, thumbs pressing into his palms. He grunts,

“Well, now that you mention it, the room *is* a bit cold.” You hardly pay attention to him though when you’re suddenly stumbling out into the living room.

“Shou? Shouto?” You find him sitting on the couch. He looks up from the book, shocked.

“Yes? What is it? Are you okay??” He stands, meeting you halfway as you press your hands to his cheeks.

“Warm…” you whisper, heart thumping painfully in your chest.

“Well, at least your left side is.” You pull your hands away from his cheeks as he looks at you baffled, then to Hawks.

“Is everything alright? What’s going on?”

“I think… I think you’re human again.” You laugh humorlessly, and they look at you skeptically.

“Human? How? We didn’t do anything.” you give an exaggerated shrug,

“I don’t know, but how else am I supposed to explain your temperature.” They stay silent. You expect them to.

A pregnant pause, then you let out a shaky breath.

“I gotta call someone…” you tug at your hair, “Before someone finds out and I get accused for kidnapping you both.”

“Well, let’s not be too hasty, I mean” — Hawks shrugs— “everyone thinks we’re dead anyway. Wait and see if we stay warm.”

“And if they find out you’re here? Then what?” You grimace, more at the idea of them disappearing than the consequences, but you also knew that you wouldn’t be able to financially handle the backlash.

They both stay silent, Hawks giving you a shaky smile. “Then… just a couple of days. Just to make sure we’re actually back.”

--------------------------------------

The next two days were unbearable

The tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife

The timing of the universe must have been lined up for this very moment, your first two days off in months leaving you stuck between them on the couch

Nobody said a word, not even when Bernadette made a surprise comeback in season 9

Thinking about constantly being alone again made your heart turn to ice 

But as it stood, all you had connecting you was the ghosting quirk and your FWB relationship

But as quick as it came, it was gone

The number of officials flooding your apartment and interrogating you was overwhelming, but Hawks and Shouto were quick to step in and explain

At least, everything they could anyway

According to the association, they couldn’t squeeze anything out of the villain responsible for changing Hawks and Shouto into ghosts

But once they confirmed that you were not a threat, they left you with a “light” warning

In other words: “Stay away. You’ve done enough”

---------------------------------------------

Your house was so quiet, yet the T.V was on, your phone playing music, trying desperately to distract yourself with the book Shouto was reading. Nothing worked.

You still felt the way their presence lingered, practically permeated the room. You couldn’t sleep in your own bed anymore, sheets feeling far too warm. Sitting anywhere other than the middle seat on your couch made you feel like you were taking up someone’s space. Your kitchen seemed to have just a little too much space to move.

Two months pass since they’ve left, and it never seemed to get better. Rather than stressed, you just felt... tired. You wanted to feel anything but tired, but the echoes of their banter only reminded you that they were gone…

And you were alone once again.

You had no way of contacting them, and they were probably far too busy with the press to even think about the nobody girl who found them wandering.

Days blended together until it all came falling down. You fell into watching the news, the tabloids all celebrating the return of their favorite heroes Hawks and Shoto. Even Endeavor seemed uncharacteristically floored to see his son alive and well.

You laughed bitterly; ‘I would bet money on the fact that he probably rolled his eyes when he saw his father.’ wry smile on your lips.

Maybe another cup of coffee would be worthwhile.

--------------------------------------------

You told yourself daily to just get over the unrequited feelings, yet you still yearned to see them every day.

You wished it were easier to pretend they were never here at all

Especially when they did it so well.

Though you supposed it was all the hero work talking.

You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the last season you’d been watching with them, memories still too fresh even if it’s been more than a couple of months since you touched it

Netflix did a wonderful job at reminding you constantly

Eventually, you stopped watching netflix too

But couldn’t bring yourself to stop paying for a subscription, naively believing they would be back to continue as if nothing changed

You loathed it

Yet it was the only illusion you had left

Until it wasn’t an illusion anymore

---------------------------------------------

It’s half passed one in the morning when you hear a knock at your door, frantic and desperate. You stumble out off the couch, nearly ramming your body into the door in an attempt to peek through the peephole.

You couldn’t believe your eyes when a flash of crimson feathers crossed your vision.

You yank the door open, wondering if this was some sort of cruel dream when you’re brutally reminded that it’s not, and that Hawks is-- indeed-- standing in front of you. In the flesh.

“Hey birdie.” he starts, looking far too exhausted.

“Hawks…” you whisper breathless, lungs rattling in disbelief when you inhale.

“Yeah… it’s me. The calico wanted to be here too, but his dad wouldn’t let him out of the house.” he smiles, strained.

“Shouto… wait, why are you here?” you glance around his form nervously, expecting to see blood. He swallows a thick lump,

“Can’t a bird just come say hello?”

You wheeze, smile more like a grimace, but you step aside and let him in. He walks around, more than well acquainted with every corner. Fingers running over your furniture, as if he were still trying to feel the memories that lingered.

“S’ colder than I remember.” he whispers and you nod,

“Yeah… Heater broke some time last month. Still waiting for the landlord to get back to me.” he doesn’t reply, staring at your bedroom door.

It’s painfully silent, but you’re afraid he’ll disappear if you say something now. You can’t tell what he’s thinking, not with his back facing you. Then he turns, and suddenly you’re far too aware of all the words he has to say to you.

For the first time in months, you feel like you’re burning alive.

--------------------------------------------

By the time Hawks was through with you, the sun was high in the sky.

You didn’t think you’d be able to say you got dicked down hard enough to stay stuck in bed, yet here you were

Stuck in bed

His fingers run through your hair, sweet words of adoration leaving his lips with every kiss he presses to your skin

You can hardly believe that Hawks is still here

Even after he’s spent all night and all morning fucking it into you

You don’t remember the number of times he’s whispered how much he’s missed you

How much he wanted you

How much he needed you

Yet here he was

Fingers rubbing into your skin how badly he needed you to be real

The blissful illusion broken by sharp knocking on your front door

Yet Hawks-- or rather Keigo, as he insists-- still smiles

“Hope you’re not too tired, birdie… Your day’s only just begun.”

You don’t know if you should be afraid or not.

-------------------------------------------------

“Shou--!” you’re cut off when he practically scrambles into your bed, lips smothering yours.

“Fuck, I missed you baby.” he growls against your lips, ‘I’m a little pissed the Chick-fil-a wannabe got to you first though.” “You’re still on that, huh.” Hawks muses, lazy grin on his lips when you squeal at the cold air hitting your skin, blanket gracelessly thrown to the side by the half-and-half hero.

“And you made a fuckin’ mess, asshole.” Shouto grumbles when he pulls your hips to the edge of the bed, forcing your legs open. You can feel the way Keigo’s cum drips out of you, making you flush in embarrassment.

“Don’t… don’t stare, dammit.” you cover your face, knowing full well that he would never let you push his head away.

From experience, of course.

“Ruined such a pretty little pussy... “ you hear him mutter before his tongue is licking a wet stripe up the length of your pussy, circling around your clit before sucking it into his mouth. You’re still so sensitive, and you almost howl in sweet agony from the way your clit throbs and stings from the overstimulation.

“Whoops, can’t have you alerting the neighbors now can we?” Keigo says as he sits on the bed next to your head, stuffing his fingers into your mouth.

You can tell he’s only pretending to play it cool, his wings puffing out impressively the longer he watches your face twist and your eyes cross, moaning and humming around his fingers. You feel cold fingers press into you and you gasp, the temperature shock making your clench harder around them. “Oops, sorry. Should have warned you.” Shouto hums, not sounding the least bit sorry. His fingers press and coax the deepest parts of you, massaging your gummy walls. You arch and cry out, thankful that Keigo’s fingers were capable of muffling your noises.

“Geez, you’re wasting all my milk there, kitty cat.” you can hear the shit eating grin on his face, but it’s quick to drop when Shouto’s suddenly licking and sucking, slurping obscenely before pulling away and giving Keigo an unamused ‘meow’.

Keigo doesn’t respond, too shocked for his usual witty comebacks, but that doesn’t deter Shouto from trailing his warmer fingers up your body, pressing over your stomach.

The contrast between his cold fingers prodding around inside you and the warm ones pressing down on your tummy makes you breathless, cumming with a squeaky moan, thighs shaking around Shouto’s head. He chuckles, amused at the way you clench around his fingers, coaxing you through your orgasm until you slack against the bed.

You’re suddenly turned around, head hanging off the edge of the bed, still lying flat on your back.

“Wha…” you slur, attempting to look at Shouto who’s climbing on the bed, pulling your legs over  his hips when suddenly Keigo’s standing by your head, leaning down and planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Think you can take us both at the same time, hummingbird?” his cock is in his hand, stroking lazily. You swallow, chewing on your lip before nodding slowly.

You weren’t actually sure, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.

“Atta girl…” he praises, stroking your cheek gently before pressing the tip against your lips. You give it a cheeky little kiss to mask your own nerves, tongue poking out to tease him before your mouth drops open into a moan, the feeling of Shouto filling you up immediately distracting you.

“It’s not nice to tease, baby.” he teases you, hips smacking into yours rudely. You choke when Keigo fills your mouth, fighting to relax your throat.

You’re thankful that he’s at least taking some care to help support your head and neck, but your thoughts are quick to drift away as Shouto stuffs and stretches your cunt, nothing but grunts and hums leaving you as Keigo slowly fills your mouth.

“God, what a pretty sight birdie. Your little throat flexing around my cock.” he mutters, hand caressing the front of your throat, squeezing gently. You try to focus on keeping your breathing even, but it’s hard when Shouto continues to insist on fucking you so roughtly.

“Your cute little cunny looks so small, stretched around my fat cock baby.” he groans, only taking a short moment to savor the way his cock looks covered in your juices and some of Keigo’s leftover cum, almost immediately slamming into that spot that has your eyes crossing, stars flashing across your vision.

You lose complete track of time as they take you in every which way until suddenly you’re waking up, clean and tucked into bed. Hawks sits on your left, Shouto to your right. Hands caress your body sweetly, whispered words almost enough to distract you from the aching pain in your body.

“Sorry, sweetheart… we got carried away” Shouto kisses your knuckles gently, eyes gentle compared to the ferocity they had before.

“It’s been so long since we’ve been able to see you, touch you… I thought I was going to go crazy,” Keigo follows up.

You don’t think you could talk even if you tried, so you just squeeze their hands. They squeeze back silently, all three of you basking in each other's presence.

Something tells you that they won’t be going anywhere any time soon.

[fortunatelylori]

Do you think that Benjen knew the truth about Jon? In s6 i was annoyed that he left just b4 bran found out so we'll never know

Hey, nonnie!

This is a very interesting question and while I do not have a definitive answer, I am inclined to say that Benjen did in fact know the truth about Jon. There are two theories about how he found out. One is frankly quite boring and not all that interesting, while the other is much more emotional and meaningful. So I’ll kind of lay out both and you can make up your mind on it yourself. 

The first scenario is that he found out once the children of the forest found him and healed him from the wounds inflicted by the White Walker in season 1. What we know about this incident is that the way Benjen was healed by the COF was similar to the creation of the Night King. Since all of this is just show canon at this point, things might be different in the books so keep that in mind. 

The story Benjen tells Bran and Meera is that the COF inserted a shard of dragonglass into his heart to stop the process of him dying and turning into a wight. Why the COF would have done that for him and not the rest of the party he was with, remains a mystery but we do know that the NK is imbued with greenseer abilities because he was able to spot Bran while he was warging and actually interact with him by touching him (which lead to the magic of BR’s cave to be destroyed and them being attacked). It’s not outside the realm of possibility that Benjen, in his new hybrid state, has now gained access to the weirwood net and is able to have visions of the past, present and future just like Bran. In addition, Benjen is a Stark and we know that most of the Starks are magical in one way or another (although not as powerful as Bran, of course). These 2 things would go a long way in explaining how Benjen was able to pop up at the exact time when Bran and Jon needed rescuing when they were beyond the wall. So it Benjen does in fact have greenseer abilities, he would probably be able to see just how Ned came to find Jon and what lead him to bring him home from the Tower of Joy. 

The other theory, and the one I’m most partial too, is that Benjen knew all along that Jon was Lyanna’s son. Some people speculate that Ned told him after bringing Jon home as, unlike Cat, Benjen had a vested interest in protecting his sister’s son. But I don’t think Ned needed to tell Benjen for him to figure it out all on his own. 

One of the most interesting aspects about Benjen, and one the books highlight far more than the show, is his extremely close relationship with Lyanna. They were closer in age and Benjen was Lyanna’s wingman, so to speak, all through their childhood and adolescence. 

I always found it fascinating that one of the visions Bran has the first time he accesses the weirwood net is of Lyanna and Benjen playing in the godswood. While there might be other narrative reasons for this vision that are, as of yet, unrevealed it does highlight just how close these two were. 

Also Benjen was present at the tournament where Rhaegar crowned Lyanna as the Queen of Love and Beauty and since he also helped Howland Reed after he was attacked, it’s very possible that he was the only person to know that Lyanna was the Knight of the Laughing Tree and he helped her in this endeavor. Which would also make it possible that he was there the first time Rhaegar and Lyanna interacted when he tracked them down and revealed their shenanigans. 

All of this is speculation at this point, of course, but if everything above happened, it’s also likely that Benjen knew Rhaegar kept in touch with Lyanna and chose to keep his sister’s secret. Unlike his brothers, he might very well have known that Lyanna was not actually kidnapped and that she went with Rhaegar willingly. I doubt either Benjen or Lyanna realized just what a terrible mistake they made in engaging with Rahegar to that level or the consequences of what they might have seen as a innocent, romantic tryst would have. 

During the rebellion, Benjen was stuck being the Stark in Winterfell and was cut off from communicating with Ned which is why he probably never managed to tell Ned that Lyanna had ran off with Rhaegar of her own accord. Not that this would have stopped the rebellion per se but I imagine Benjen would have been riddled with guilt over his part in all of it, not to mention carry a trauma for aiding Lyanna in what would essentially be a huge tragedy for their family and also lead to her death. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a few months after Ned returned home, Benjen went to the Wall. I think him joining the NW was his way of atoning for what he saw as his failure to protect his sister and their family. So, knowing all that he knew about Lyanna and Rhaegar, knowing Ned as he did and also seeing how stubborn he was in refusing to ever talk about the mother of his bastard son and seeing just how much Jon looked like Lyanna, I think Benjen figured out fairly quickly just who Jon was. Perhaps he confronted Ned with this and Ned confirmed it. Perhaps he kept it to himself and it was an unspoken thing between the two brothers but I think there’s a very good chance that Benjen knew. 

I have to stop here and remark on the double standard that the fandom applies to characters in this series. Sansa is often dragged through the mud as a bully and an idiot for having a difficult relationship with Arya and because of her naivete when it comes to Cersei and Jofferey. Lyanna, however, is always spared such criticism. Although we know that by virtue of being the older sister, she did in fact dominate Benjen and made fun of him: in the vision that Bran has, Lyanna roughs him up and then scolds him for screaming because she’s afraid someone will find out and at the tourney she pours a glass of wine over his head when he makes fun of her crying over Rhaegar playing the harp. And that’s just the canon aspect of their relationship. If the theory above turns out to be true, Lyanna effectively made her little brother complicit in the event that shattered their family. Also, just for the record, while the brunt of the Rhaegar/Lyanna relationship must rest on Rhaegar’s adult shoulders, it’s also worth noting that Lyanna chose to run away with a married man and entertain his advances for months prior. She was most likely groomed and coerced into this but, at the same time, she had ample time to inform her father or older siblings of what Rhaegar was doing and she chose not to, probably because she saw it as a way of getting out of her betrothal to Robert. All of this doesn’t make her an evil person or a monster but the responsibility of what happened is greater in her case then whatever role Sansa is supposed to have played in Ned’s downfall (which is minimal if not, downright inexistent) or the tragedy that she falls victim to after her father’s death. But because Lyanna is known to have swung a sword at some point, she’s Jon’s mother and also reminds fans of Arya, she get’s a free pass. Sansa, on the other hand, must suffer for the rest of her life because she was an innocent little girl who was taught to trust the adults around her and did just that. 

Coming back to the topic at hand … It’s also interesting that Benjen is at once willing to let Jon join the NW but at the same time tries to talk him out of it. He’s conflicted about Jon’s decision. He tells Jon this: 

Benjen: You don’t understand what you might be giving up. None of us will ever father sons. 

Jon: I don’t care about that. 

Benjen: You might. If you knew what it meant. 

Now, on the surface this feels like Benjen finding Jon’s inexperience in matters of sex endearing. But … I always got the feeling that Benjen was referring to more than that. After all, why say none of them will have children and not point out that Jon might at least try to have sex before joining a celibate order for life? I think he was in fact unsure whether to take Jon to the Wall because by joining the NW Jon would be making a life altering decision without being in possession of all the facts concerning who he was and what his actual place in the world could be. 

This theory is supported, in my mind, by Ned and Jon’s last conversation: 

Jon: Is my mother alive? Does she know about me? Where I am, where I’m going? Does she care? 

Ned: The next time we see each other, we’ll talk about your mother. I promise. 

Firstly, please allow me to retreat in a dark corner and cry. Poor Jon! I get very defensive of him when people label him entitled or a bully because of his inability to understand the plight of Pyp and Grenn when he gets to the wall, because even though Pyp and Grenn go through hardships, Jon’s life has not been a walk in the park. Living in a castle and having access to a sword master shouldn’t blind people from the very real and painful traumas that have plagued Jon since the moment he was born. 

Now, going back to the quote …  Ned is a man of his word. I truly believe that he had every intention of telling Jon about Lyanna and his true parentage once they “saw each other” again. The question is why now? Why keep a secret for so long and promise to tell Jon the truth? What changes? 

The only answer I can come up with is that by the time Ned and Jon would see each other again, Jon would have taken his NW oath which would not only mean that Jon was out of the reach of Robert but also that he would be now stuck there, unable to do anything with this new information. So Ned is biding his time until that happens so that Jon would have no choice but continue to be the Bastard of Winterfell. And Benjen is aiding him in this. 

This feels like the kind of thing GRRM would come up with since it adds to the bittersweet aspect of the Jon/Ned/Benjen relationship. Both these men protect and love Jon but they also fail him by keeping him in the dark about who he is and standing by while Jon condemns himself to a life of celibacy, in a place that will most likely kill him because he sees no other road open to him in life. 

Thanks for the ask!

[eternallyimaginative]

Oblivion (a Nevermore novel) by Kelly Craigh

Book: Oblivion (a Nevermore novel)

Author: Kelly Craigh

Publisher:   Atheneum Books for Young Readers

Release Date:   July 28th, 2015

Format: Hardcover

Pages:  448

Started Reading: March 29, 2019

Finished Reading: April 1, 2019

Summary (supplied from GoodReads):   This electrifying conclusion to the Nevermore trilogy takes one last trip to the dream world of Edgar Allan Poe to reveal the intertwined fates of Isobel and Varen. The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? —Edgar Allan Poe The fine line between life and death blurred long ago for Isobel Lanley. After a deadly confrontation with Varen in the dreamworld, she’s terrified to return to that desolate and dangerous place. But when her nightmares resume, bleeding into reality, she is left with no choice. Varen’s darkness is catching up to her. To everything. Threatening to devour it all. Isobel fears for her world. For her sanity and Varen’s—especially after a fresh and devastating loss. To make matters worse, the ghostly demon Lilith wants Varen for her own, and she will do anything to keep him in her grasp—anything. Can Isobel ever find her happy ending? Worlds collide and fates are sealed in this breathtaking finale to the Nevermore trilogy.

My Thoughts: Could this story melt whatever heard and soul I have more? This book...is right up there with Nevermore on the same pedistal. So beautiful it was.

That Pinfeathers think I mentioned in the last book review? Yeah...I had an emotional connection to him by this book. I see why he went the way he did, but I kind of wished we saw him a bit longer in the book. But, then again if he was still hanging around Varen wouldn’t have come to his senses the way that he did. 

Varen...oh you were the one that melted my soul the most. Even though we didn’t read through your perspective and through Isobel’s...oh how it was heartbreakign to see that you still thought se was dead...Why am I listening the Marianas Trench while reading this book and reviewing it?! First time I’ve heard this album by the band...and I’m on the Ghost song...oh good lord and lady (*coughs* sorry the Wiccan in me) this song goes so well with him...it makes me upset now....And I though Rhythm of Your Heart did...What is my life anymore?!

I wish that we saw more Gwen and Danny, but again I understand why we didn’t. In a way I think this book was making up for the last one in regards to giving us more time with Varen, and also with Isobel being so close to reaching him since it is the last novel of the trilogy. 

I still think the best scene in this one was when Varen finally realized that she wasn’t a dream, though he still though she was dead and he morphed the surroundings to like that beach scene that resembled the Poe Poem...

I actually liked seeing Varen interacting more with the Dream world, and not just him in his gloom state. Especially when he did want to get out of there and out of Lilith’s grasp on his mind. 

Speaking of Lilith...I feel like through out the story now that I think about it....as much as she terrified me...we could have been spending more time on her lore, and the like. But, then again we were probably only told what we as the audience needed to hear. I don’t it was just a thought regarding the world building...

Reynolds....Kelly I have to say it...as much as I love Isobel, Varen, Gwen, and Danny....I honestly think Reynolds was the best character in the whole story. The twists you put us through involving him were unreal. He’s the Snape of this series. Like you want to dislike him...truly dislike him at times...but then by the end of the book you truly love him... Though I do wish that were was a bit more time to explore him. But, again its probably that we the audience didn’t have to know. After all we were only told what Isobel was told, and even she by the end of the story was still a little puzzled. 

The end of the book.....a very love/hate relationship with the end of the book. I found it bittersweet...Its almost like the story wasn’t COMPLETELY ended. Especially with the epilogue. I mean we’re told a bit of why Varen had initially gone into his own mentality the way that he did. I’m feeling from all of the hints that his mother was the catalyst for this...he went to meet her 2 years after all this stuff happened....and yet...he couldn’t bring himself to approach her. I mean I get it...this happens in real life more often than not...but considering the paranormal/horror stuff that the series revolved around....I would have kind of liked to know why his mother left Mr. Nethers, but most of all leaving Varen too...Like did she know some of this stuff? She was just hinted at so much...like Varen’s attachment was a core element to the story lore...but there was nothing at the end...

Verdict: A very bitter sweet ending to this wonderful trilogy. You really do need to have patience with it. But, if you can supply that patience you will greatly be rewarded with this enriching story. Take note though that you should listen to Rythm of Your Heart when reading the scene of the Grim Facade in Nevermore, and Ghost while reading this book. Both songs are by Marianas Trench.