#SENTINAL PRIME HOWEVER

[loveofbots]

I think my favorite part about being a writer and just taking canon and going “No.” Ambulon? Alive and worried 24/7 Red and Fort Max and Prowl? Gay and recovering Arcee and Anode and Lug? Happily murdering, thieving, and resurrecting folks in peace. Tarn? Dead as hell. Piece of shit.

[moonlight-tmd]

Reading back on this post-

Do you think Wasp and Bee would be friends in Shattered Glass?

I mean, normal Wasp and Bee are enemies, Wasp was an asshole and bullied Bee relentlessly until Longarm set him up as a spy and he was arrested. I imagine Shattered Glass Wasp was kind and nice, even befriended Bee. Wasp saw Bee getting pushed around by this big jerk Bulkhead and decided to step in. Bulkhead just huffed and decided to not waste energy on those puny things.

Wasp helped Bee patch up his dents. "Us little ones need to stick together." He said when Bee was confused as to why anyone would help someone like him. Wasp was friendly, he cared about Bee and made sure that other jerks stayed away from him.

Ironhide also helped- normal Ironhide only followed Wasp's orders before he was arrested and Iron could relax and stopped picking on bots like Wasp did. Shattered Glass Ironhide is the same, except he sticks with Wasp purely because they're friends, not out of fear of bullying. He helps Wasp fend off jerks from Bee and the little trio has a place in the camp. They even introduced this weird new guy Longarm to the group.

(I suppose Bee is white and black, Ironhide is light green and Wasp neon yellow. Longarm is black with lavender details)

Of course, all good things must come to an end. Rumours of a Decepticon in the camp spread and all leads pointed to Longarm. None of them believed it of course.. but the officers seemed to think otherwise. Wasp took it upon himself to save his friend and revealed that he was a spy, not Longarm. He was taken and locked up, leaving Shockwave in a cloud of guilt. Not long after Bee got caught up in some other issues and was forced to serve in a repair crew with Bulkhead. Longarm stayed with Ironhide and continued his tasks, althought much more careful so no one else will suffer. They both graduated and got put in different departments in Elite Guard.

Speaking of- Sentines is surprisingly not that awful. He's very likable in fact. Sure he's stern and makes everyone stick to the rules and given tasks but he's genuinely trying to help. I guess in the Prime Duo, he's the pushoever instead of Optimus.

Wasp spend years in stockades, his hopeful attitude was slowly drowned in the abuse of the guards and insanity of fellow prisoners. One night however a break-out happened, he was on the run with few other prisoners. He almost made it out but then he got shot square in the chassis, his vision flahsed black and he thought it was the end of him. But to his surprise he woke up in medbay being treated by a weird bug femme. Turns out some Decepticon snatched him after he got shot and took him along to the Decepticon ship. The femme's name was Blackarachnia; she got Wasp in critical condition, his frame was gradually destroying itself because of something in the blaster shot. Her only way ti save him was to perform an overhaul procedure and turn him into an techno-organic. Wasp was confused and scared- his mind wasn't faring any better, but eventually he got used to this new form. He got aquainted with few other Decepticons, Blitzwing, Lugnut and Starscream. All of them were accepting and evencommented on how cool he looked. And of course, he met Shockwave himself. Waspinator couldn't believe when Longarm made an appearance, he apologised over and over again for Wasp's fate. Waspinator however wasn't all that angry, sure he was angry a little but seeing how Shockwave is helping all those who suffered unfairly he forgave him. Soon enough he regained secret contact with Ironhide, who got in kahoots with Shockwave and helped him smuggle data to the cons.

Waspinator decided to take his opportunity and search for Bee. He and the other Decepticons go look for Megatron and end up on a planet Earth. And bumo into the same blasted Autobot crew that attacked Nemesis and is now terrorizing the organic race. But that wasn't as important. Bee was there. Oh, how he was worried about him...

Once when the Autobots were investigating some suspicious activity, Waspinator jumped out and kidnapped Bee. Once he found a safe location to land bee immediately tried to defend himself. He was so scared,.. but stopped shooting once Waspinator started speaking to him. It was an odd speech pattern but still understandable; Waspinator was Wasp and he came to save Bee. Bee couldn't believe what he was seeing- that was Wasp? What happened- doesn't matter, he was so happy to know his friend was here. Bee told him about what's been happening since he was put in the team- How mean everyone was and how he found a friend in one of the organics that the team tolerated only because of her weird in-build healing tech. He told him about Longarm finding him and helping as much as he could. And about Sentinel- the mech was the kindest of the officers back at boot camp, it was a relief hearing that he did his best to help Bee in this abusive situation, although Optimus never allowed him to interact much with his possesions team.

They managed to share one last hug before Prowl jumped them and dragged Bee away. Waspinator was a lone hunter- he wanted to save Bee without needing to drag the other cons into this, he'd be very close to snatching Bee away for good but the Autobots are always one step ahead of him, keeping their slave tightly in their grasp. Except one time... He was so close, he almost escaped... ut their shots were faster. Waspinator was shot down, Bee was forcing himself to not cry as he saw his dear friend fall and crash.

Waspinator was gone for a long time, everyone though he was dead- but his stubbornness was too much. He pulled himself from the brink of death and tried once more- except this time he didn't have to fight. Blackarachnia took him in again and he woke up to Bee's sweet voice quietly talking to him. Turns out Longarm upheld his part of the promise and rescued Bee upon finding him imprisoned in the underground of the Autobot's base. Also this weird organic with superpowers came along with him- she turned out to be techno-organic too.

From then on, aside from Blitzwing and Shockwave, Bee has Waspinator as a scary guardian- and Waspinator definitelly uses his form to give Bee "scary dog privillages". Decepticons may not be much agressive normally but Waspinator WILL throw hands if someone ever as much as mumbles something behind Bee's back. (he has very good hearing, you don't wanna test him.)

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

I'm learning how to knit and crochet , so I was wondering if I could get hc's for how Tf One sentinal prime, bayverse bee, dino, and hotrod would react to their bot crush learning too, and giving them a handmade transformer sized accessory as a gift. Since something made from earth materials would be rare on cybertron because everything is made mostly of metal. 👽

Sentinel:

He has no use for the item, and thought it was a weird thing for his crush to gift him. He would much rather anything else.

However it was a gift from his crush, and he would not refuse it. He took it, thanking them for their effort. He would not show anyone else, or parade it around but he would keep it.

He put it in his room, and every now and again when he thinks about them he will hold his gift. His spark thrums as he thinks about how they made it especially for him. It makes him happy.

Bumblebee:

He was given a plushie bumblebee. And he absolutely adores it. He keeps it with him at all times, usually protected inside a secret compartment close to his spark.

After a battle he will pull it out to check it and make sure it is unharmed.

He would love more. He will constantly ask for more to be made so he can have a little collection of his crushes efforts. He's a little obsessed with their work and will constantly praise them and ask for more.

Dino:

He didn't need anything. Knitted/crocheted items are not really things he needs. However when his crush gave him a personalised scarf, he could not say no.

It was red and matched his paint perfectly. It was also incredibly soft and was a pleasant feeling around his neck.

He keeps it hidden away somwhere safe and will only wear it when alone or with his crush. He doesn't take it outside and won't let anyone else near it. He is very happy with it and will thank his crush often for it.

Hot Rod:

He was amazed by his crushes creativity and skill. He swooned over their efforts, and was ecstatic that they made something just for him. It made him feel special and made his spark hum lovingly.

They made him a little hat and glove set that he absolutely cherishes. It can get very cold in England, so they keep his helm and servos warm from the bitter cold. Not that the cold bothered Cybertronians much anyway. But it was the thought that counted.

He would love to get even more items, no matter what they make he would wear it or use it. He loves to sit with them and watch them work, seeing them make it is incredible. And he just loves to spend time with them.

[safflowerisyes]

TFA and TFP cossover!

Yes, I'm finally doing this. Before we start, I just wanna say this.

TFA Optimus: Prime

TFP Optimus: Optimus

TFA Ratchet: Doc Bot

TFP Ratchet: Ratchet

TFA Bumblebee: Bee

TFP Bumblebee: Bumblebee

TFA Ultra Magnus: Ultra Magnus

TFP Ultra Magnus: Magnus

TFA Bulkhead: Bulkhead

TFP Bulkhead: Bulk

Please enjoy.

"Conecting the fusion generator derectly to the power line will increase the range!"

"Puh-lease. Unless you want to implode the moment you try to transport, we'll send the energy through an alternate route so it can be prossesed properly!"

Ratchet and Wheeljack were currently arguing over a new version of groundbridge that would use a fusion generator to enhance performance. However, they couldn't agree on how to encorperate said generator.

Miko had heard enough of the constant bickering, and was finally starting to see why Ratchet disliked her so servearly. "Quiet!" she suddenly shouted, hopping over to the groundbridge power switch, "If you two can't decide, I will!" With that she pulled up the switch and the unfinished teleportation divice powered on. Various cries of "No!" and, "Don't do that!" could be heard from the 'fore arguing 'bots.

The groundbrige started to pull things in, not unlike a blackhole. Miko would have been gone if Wheeljack hadn't grabbed her at the last minute. Then the 'bots started to get pulled in. Just then the rest of Team Prime burst into the room. "Ratchet, what is happening?" Optimus questioned. "Miko turned on the unfinished groundbridge, and the imence power has turned it into a blackhole!" Ratchet informed.

"Well then shut it down!" Fowler shouted, making sure his hold on June was tight. "Can't!" Wheeljack called back, "The power switch is stuck!"

With that, Team Prime was sucked into another demintion.

*Meanwhile in TFA*

"Will you shut your intake about all this Decepticon nonsence?!" Sentinal Prime was at the moment yelling at the purest being in the next thousand solarsystems. Optimus Prime was having none of it. He had to let Jazz and Ultra Magnus know they were driving into a Decepticon trap! He was about to retaliate, when a green-blue portal resembling a spacebridge suddenly appeared next to them. Even stranger, 8 *enormus* bots fell out of it before closing. The two stared in shock.

"State your designations!" Sentinal shouted. The largest one got up with a grone. "Apologies. My desigation is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots," he said.

Sentinal laughed, "Good joke! Now who are you really?"

"Optimus," Ratchet started, worry in his tone, "I don't think we're on Earth anymore. At least not *our* Earth." The news sunk in to the other Primeverse 'bots.

"Come on Ratch. Of all the- wait a minute. Primus, I think he's right!" Wheeljack added.

"You are disrispecting a commanding officer! I demand to know your true designations now! Or else I'll have you all arested!" Sentinel was fuming. By now everyone had gotten on their pedes, and the Stealhaven was *cramped*. "Hey can we head outside?" Smokescrean asked. "No!" yelled Sentinel.

"Who put the guy with thg he giant chin in charge?" spoke up Miko Nakadia. Sentinal squeeled, "An organic!"

Miko bursted with laughter, and you could see some others trying to hold in their own giggles.

"Perhaps it is best we step outside," sugested Optimus, and slowly but surely, they made their way out of the Stealhaven.

"Now, can I have your designations?" Sentinel more demanded than asked.

"Smokescrean, Elite Guard."

"Bulkhead, Ex Wrecker."

--Bumblebee, Scout.--

"Arcee, warrior."

"Wheeljack, Ex Wreacker."

"Ratchet, Medic."

"Ultra Magnus, SIC of the Autobot army."

That last one got to Sentinal. "Liar!" he shouted, "You're not Ultra Magnus! Ultra Magnus is out on a mission! He's the leader of the Autobots! And he doesn't look like that!"

"Looks like Ratchet was right. It does kinda seem like we're in another world," Arcee added.

"Have any of you noticed," spoke Jack Darby, "We're totatly out in the open." The new information suddenly became clear to the others on Team Prime. There were tons of civilians watching them. "Autobots, our cover has been blown," Optimus said.

"Wait!" called a new voice, "The humans don't fear us! We work with them!" All helms (and heads) turned to the source of the voice. A young looking 'bot with hints at a firetruck alt mode. "You don't need a cover here. But that doesn't matter now, because two of the 'bots from this world are driving into a Decepticon trap!" said the firetruck. "Optimus, enough with this nonsence. Their are no Decepticons of Earth," Sentinel glared at Prime, but he did not notice everyone else glaring at him.

"If this world is anything like our own, there are most deffinetly Decepticons here. My team and I will asist you if need be," Optimus said to the two Animeted 'bots. This brought a small smile to Prime's lip-plates.

"Follow me!" Prime called before transforming and driving off.

Optimus signalled his team to follow suit.

------------

I'm going to leave it at that for now. Updates will come, but I don't know when. It could be a few days or a few months. I don't know. Sugestions are welcomed and encoraged! Untill next time, have a dandy day/night!

[dirtydragonthoughts]

The Cracks Beneath Your Feet: Part 4 (IDW2 Review Issue 10)

Pitch: Fear spreads through Cybertron, leading more and more citizens into the waiting arms of the Ascenticon movement—making Bumblebee’s new job as part of the Guard much more difficult. Meanwhile, Chromia and Windblade follow-up on a lead, but digging up the dirt will put them face-to-face with a new foe…

Review

After the action of the last issue, we are back to more politicking and positioning of pieces on the chessboard. People who read Transformers comics for the explosions and battles would be disappointed in this issue, but it's definitely helping set up the explosion that everyone can see sparking on the horizon.

There are some very interesting dynamics being set up in this issue, most notably between Megatron and Shockwave. The scheming scientist is back to his Marvel role as someone who's not totally onside with Megatron's aims (and would prefer to be the one calling the shots), but who is quite willing to use Megatron as a means to an end. To that light, it's very clear that Megatron has set some things in motion – some purposefully, some not – that are starting to roll in the wrong direction.

To use the chess analogy again, Shockwave is a piece that Megatron plays poorly.

The issue ends with the previously-announced return of Sentinal Prime, and he is PISSED.

Favourite Panel

Angry Prowl is always an easy way to get my undivided attention.

Culture

The issue starts off with a silent march for Brainstorm and Rubble, a protest in their honour. Elita-1 also mentions that there are similar marches happening all over the planet, in places like Uraya and Crystal City.

Planet

Um. Skitters apparently go squish when you run over them.

Physiology

And we have our first real sighting of a titan! Sentinel Prime's ship is actually a titan named Lodestar, who we get to meet in a future issue. She lands and transformers after her passengers disembark, and I loved her as soon as I saw her. 💗

Politics and History

When I picture a Senate, I think of a large gathering of representatives. However, Orion and Megatron attend a meeting of Senators that looks like it's only got six people in attendance. So I presume that this is a special council (perhaps one given to lead while Sentinel Prime is away). This is backed up by the little circles over each of their chairs. Orion mentions that the Autobots hold twice the Senate seats of any other faction. On their seats, Orion's got four orbs, Megatron has two, Heretech and Crisscross have one each. I thought that was a neat little way to show their relative importance!

In his meeting with Megatron, Shockwave mentions he was one of the people exiled by Nominus Prime.

Final Thoughts

Definitely not as action-packed as the last one, and yet another setup issue, but I can kind of see where we're going. But again, this part of the continuity definitely reads better in a chunk, rather than issue-by-issue.

👍

[1axton1]

There’s alot of ideas nagging in my head all day about the few characters in Transformers Animated that I just want to talk about.

Compare to the characters in this show and the other animated series, it’s a lot different than I expected.

Such as Optimus Prime, who is supposed to be a wise and respected leader that we know and love, turns out to be just a young bright bot in a academy ends up being demoted to be a leader to a space bridge crew. Bumblebee being a chatterbox who likes to annoy everyone, etc..

And with that, there’s this one headcanon I desperately want to set out

Headcanon: Orion Pax and Optimus Prime are two separate characters.

(Sorry about the image being a bit blurry)

Orion Pax works in the Elite Gurard (I forgot to add the Elite Guard symbol on him) with Sentinel Prime, Jazz, and the Jettwins.

Since many are completely different in the animated show, I like to see Orion Pax as this hotheaded character who gets angered quite often by others (mostly Sentinal). He’s not this naive person you can take advantage of quite easily. I added spikes on his helm to kinda represent his character.

He isn’t a fighter, he mostly do all of the paperwork for Sentinal since Orion’s past job was being a archivist.

Most of his frustrations is the cause of Sentinal but likes to annoy the shit out of the prime on several occasions when he has the chance.

However, besides his hot temper, he is still a kind bot who truly cares about others, even if other cybertronians don’t think so.

(It was Orion)

[hypexion]

Ashes of Outland: Iridium Reveals

You better respect Iridium! It’s the second densest element, and the most corrosion resistent metal. When fighting a Rusted Legion, you might be happy to have some Iridium around. (Presuming you can carry it.)

Anyway, it is now time to look at the remaining Mage, Priest and Rogue cards.

Starscryer is a slightly better Loot Hoarder. If you’re playing Mage, you’re going to playing spells, so it’s just a fact. One attack isn’t much, but it could help get a better trade.

Incanter’s Flow is another square to check off on Bad Ideas Bingo. It’s a permanent cost reduction on all the spells in your deck. For the rest of the game. Incidentally, a spell-heavy playstyle is being pushed with this set. Someone’s going to find a way to break this in the next two years. Anyhow it’s probably good if you can afford the upfront tempo hit.

Netherwind Portal is a new way to mess with enemy spells. They’ll never cast again knowing it could get you a free minion. Well, they might. Obviously this is useful if you forgot to put minions in your deck, and provides an extra threat to use. Worth trying out, at the very least, since it’s a common, and it’s basically going to be impossible to not have every common card from now on.

Imprisoned Homunculus is a Taunt minion which doesn’t show up for two turns. I don’t think this is too bad if you get it out turn one, since as Priest, you won’t be missing much, but the ultility becomes a lot worse in the lategame. Often, you want Taunt minions to delay nasty beatings, and something that doesn’t do that immediately is effectively useless.

Renew is a generic one mana Discover spell, except it also heals something. This might be worth it in Quest Priest, since it gets you some cheap ticks, as well as giving you the opportunity to get some extra resources. Could be secretly good, since it does something and replaces itself, which makes Renew better than a lot of cards.

Apotheosis is another buff spell for Priest. It doesn’t really look that good - you don’t even get a full +3/+3 from it. The Lifesteal probably has value against aggressive decks and in Quest Priest, but is it worth a card? It’s hard to say, but I’m leaning towards no.

Spymistress is a slightly stronger Worgen Inflitrator. Not very exciting, but it provides a little extra pressure and removes slightly tougher minions. Probably not Constructed quality, but not many keyword-only minions are.

Dirty Tricks is cheap card draw. You just need your opponent to play a spell to get it. Not sure if this is worth playing, since Rogue currently has access to quite a lot of card generation. So much so that sometimes you have too many cards, somehow. However, once outside of formats where you can make all the cards you could possibly want, Dirty Tricks is probably an okay way to get a few extra cards, since spells generally get played.

Cursed Vagrant is almsot two Ravenholdt Assassins stacked together. Hilarious amounts of stats here, although I feel like they aren’t actually that useful. Sure, this is hard to completely get rid of, but so are a lot of minions. Still probably an okay pick for Arena, just not for Constructed.

Font of Power is a spell for Minionless Mage that subverts the point of the restriction. Of course, getting three random minions doesn’t completely eliminate the downsides, since you have no idea if they’ll be useful. Luckily, many Mage minions have some form of spell synergy, so getting many of the lesser ones won’t hurt, as you’ll have a deck full of spells to activate them with.

Deep Freeze gets you two Water Elementals for the price of two! What a bargin. This mostly looks like another way to pretend Minionless Mage is an actual deck, while still allowing the deck to have minions. Since you can always Freeze the enemy hero, this isn’t too bad, although as eight mana spells go, it’s probably not the best.

Dragonmaw Sentinal is a little extra Dragon synergy for Priest. The Year of the Dragon might be over, but Dragon and Dragon accessories are still in. Like many cards, all the value is locked up in the conditional effect. Thankfully, Dragons have proven to a generally consistent theme, so you’ll probably be able to get the full minion. However, as an early game minion, Lifesteal is less effective than Taunt, what with prevention being better than the cure and all that. Plus, if you haven’t been damaged, you lose out on the ultility provided by Lifesteal.

Psyche Split is another minion copying card. This one buffs, then copies! Also, it can copy enemy minions. This gives some level of marginal value, although I’m not sure if you should really be buffing enemy minions. Why does this set have so many cards like this?

Ashtongue Slayer is Stealth payoff. Strike from the shadows for extra damage, and avoid retaliation. Favourful! Although probably not that useful, since most Stealth minions haven’t been that great. While you can get a surprise lethal or minion removal from this card, it requires things to line up in a specific way, and if that doesn’t happen, you’ll be left unhappy.

Skeletal Dragon is Dragon that makes more Dragons. It has Taunt making it useful for protection, but somewhat less so at providing on going value. Probably entirely fine as big minions go, since has some impact on the board, although it doesn’t have what I’d call a game winning presence.

Bamboozle would be a Shaman Secret if Shaman had Secrets. But that class doesn’t so it’s a Rogue Secret instead. This is probably quite good, since most of the time, replacing a minion with one that’s three mana more is going to completely screw up whatever your opponent was planning. Of course, with all the weird dysfunctional minions the game has, sometimes this will be a dud. On balance, it’s probably still worth, especially since some minions become signifigantly more functional if you don’t actually have to pay for them.

I have no idea what is going on in Reliquary of Souls’ artwork. It’s some kind of... floating head? Covered in crystals? Anyhow, it’s honestly a very generic minion when you play it, but it’s also the Penultimiate Prime. It’s probably going to die without much fuss, although you might get a little healing from it on the way. Reliquary Prime is a lot more difficult to get rid of. You can buff and heal it, but your opponent’s spells and Hero Power are useless against it. This means it has to fought, and will thus heal you. Yay! Probably pretty neat in Quest Priest, since it both gets you Quest ticks, and is a decent target for buffing. Otherwise, it doesn’t seem that impressive, because you’re waiting a while for an effect that’s not that impactful.

Soul Mirror is even more removal for Priest, which also copies your opponent’s stuff, because that is the entirely class identity. This is why Priest can’t be good. It would ruin the game. Anyhow, this is just a more complicated Lightbomb that will occationally get you some minions. At seven mana it’s also kind of slow for something that doesn’t totally wreck the opponent’s board, so is it even that playable? Who even knows.

[thereasontherumisgone]

Headcanons for Rhys and Blizter

Feel free to add some of your own!

Blizter talks with a Texan sounding accent due to that being the place he spent most of his time on Earth

Blizter doesn’t like fighting, however, if you hurt one hair on little Rhys’s head he will shoot to kill. 

Rhys knows how to fix somethings when it comes to the Autobots, he learned from having to help his big Autobot friend fix himself back home on the farm.

Rhys knows three other languages, Spanish, French and some Russian, he is in the middle of learning Sign Language and Bumblebee is also learning this one with him. 

Nobody knows why Rhys doesn’t talk, Blizter doesn’t like it when people question Rhys about it to the point it makes him uncomfortable.

Yes, Blizter does see himself as Rhys’s space dad.

Rhys is fine with this. 

There was a small incident where Rhys and Blizter ‘fell out’, this was when Sentinal Prime returned and Rhys did not like this robot at all. Nope there was something not right with this one. He was right. 

Rhys wants to become an author or a chef.

[kyliafanfiction-archive]

Orion Team Masterpost

Orion Team is a sci-fi story/universe centered around the Black Ops “Orion Team” which is part of the Office of Extrafederation Security, tasked with advancing the interests of the Earth Federation in the Kolias Sector, an unorganized region of space. OES recruits from the military, civilian law enforcement or intelligence agencies and civilians in general as needed and able, and a such have a diverse array of options and styles, often mixed up and all around. The members of Orion Team are Daniel Ortega, Charkatus Victorae, Amy Kostas, Lung Jiao and Gregory Elliot. There are a number of characters in Orion Team’s support staff, but the ones of any real relevance are Arthur Wood, Sarah Townsend and Natasha Richter.

Orion Team begins in July, 2817 C.E.

In the Orion Team Universe, there are a number of alien races. The most important are:

Romnivirians: Romnivirians are a mammalian species, native to the world of Romnivir. They were a united planet by 1,800 BCE achieved hyperspace flight around 1,500 BCE. They would go on to conquor a great many species, and at one point, were looking to expand in Earth’s direction after scouts found it (though it would have taken them a century at their normal pace to colonize all the worlds between their space and Earth - Earth happens to be in a region of space with few sentinent species evolving on the , but a series of rebellions by the Centai Races (an alliance of five species - see below) and a civil war broke the back of the Empire’s expansionary urges for many a century. Today, the Romnivirian Empire is a close ally of the Earth Federation, and though they are plagued by rebellions, revolts and the odd small-scale civil war, they survive, albeit not... healthily. How they still exist is credited to the resiliency of the Imperial system, the alliance with Earth and their habit of having especially clever emperors or empresses rise to the throne (by inheritance or... not) at just the right time. A number of species are still subjects of the Empire, and just over half of them are full imperial citizens, with all the rights and privileges (and duties) of Romnivirian citizens.

The Centai Races: Over one hundred housand years ago, a species called the Raezon from either a distant portion of this galaxy, or another one altogether, settled on the planet now called Centai, and began a program of playing evolutionary god. They manipulated the DNA of five (very) different sentient species in particular (Vorcalians, Telchuri, Derach, Kopelians and Brevescari) making them each more specialized (with the intent of all five being slave races doing specific things for them) and exterminating several other sentient spaces (one of the reasons Earth is a bit lonely, as it were). The Raezon were eventually driven off by the Vestari (see Below) some 50,000 years ago These five were, in time, conquored by the Romnivirians, but eventually they rebelled and united, intially out of mutual defense against Romnivirian reconquest. Centai was picked for its central location (or so they thought) but then it was discovered soon after what the Raezon had done, and how they had manipulated the Centai Five to each see members of the other races as almost members of their own, and to want to come to Centai. While the Raezon were not there to be their masters, the five races realized that their specializations would do them well to work together, and so they do. The Centai Republic is an aggressive stellar nation, that belives the Centai Five are superior to all other forms of intelligent life. They have engaged in a great many wars of attempted conquest against Earth and the Romnivirian Empire, but with only middling success. the Earth/Romnivirian-Centai DMZ is some of the most militarized space in known interstellar history (or so say the Vestari)

Vestari: The Vestari are the most advanced species in known space. They achieved hyperspace 250,000 years ago. These four-armed, ten-feet tall, six-eyed beings are incredibly cagey about the specifics of their history, or about things like the Raezon, or the Hyplontians (see below) who they uplifted (partially). They do let little dribs and drabs out here and there - for example, their Ambassador to Earth once told the EF’s prime minister that Vestari had been to earth twice before the start of Earth’s atomic age, but refused to say when or why (or what they did). Its unclear if they do this for their own amusement (one common theory) or because they are playing some long mysterious game (a common conspiracy theory). The Vestari Hegemony doesn’t trade with the other powers of known space much, but every once in a while (usually about every ~50 years). they go out, purchasing large quantities of raw materials and selling tech that is just ever so slightly better than what is currently available. Non-Vestari are only welcome in one city on the moon of the Vestari Homeworld, Vestar Prime, which is colloquially called ‘The Alien City’. When asked about what they do, or why they do things, Vestari will be maddeningly vague if they answer at all. Sometimes though, they’ll drop mutually contradictory hints, answer questions with seemingly suggestive questions, or (rarely) the asker will wake up two days later, be told they were told the answer to their questions and the answers proved too much for them that they beged the Vestari to remove them from their memory.

Hyplontians: An insectoid, hive-minded species ruled by Queens and the handful of non-Drone breeds, the Hyplontians were uplifted to sleeper ships and relatavistic drives some 4,000 years ago by the Vestari for reasons of their own. Each Hyplontian Planet is riled by one or more hive queens, and each Queen struggles for dominance over their peers. But when they are united, they are formidable. Xenophobic to the extreme, they will often launch wars of invasion aginst the Earth Federation, all of which have always been only just more or less held back.During times of peace, the Hyplontians and the EF maintain a Neutral Zone. The Hyplontians trade with no one, though they do have an embassy to the Vestari.

There are other alien species (examples - the Sytala, the Eltherians, the Mascari, the Cailax, etc), but those are the big four/eight (since there’s five Centai species), plus humans.

Humanity is not united, however. The Earth Federation is the most populous and most powerful of the Human Stellar nations, but there are others. The ones with the political, military and economic muscle to operate beyond their solar system and maybe one or two others nearby are

The Systems Confederacy: A loose economic, military and political union designed largely to allow each member world to retain their own unique identity in the face of the EF’s steady advancement. Territorially, the largest human stellar nation, but has about half the population of the EF. Were it not for the Hyplontians and the Centai (and the EF’s desire to not launch overt wars of aggression - they like to see themselves as the good guys), the EF could, with significant cost, beat the SC in a war with ‘ease’ (as it were.) The Systems confederacy is backed by the renegade megacorp, Epsilon Industries. 

The Halifax Unity: Advanced genetic manipulation is against the law in the Earth Federation - the Halifax Unity was founded by the Halifax Group, a cabal of geneticists and philosphers who believed that humanity should uplift itself into better, smarter, stronger, etc forms through genetic manipulation from the Fetus on up. They are very small, compared to the EF, but continue on because the EF A) hates overt wars of aggression, and B) likes to use the Halifax Unity as a convenient dumping ground for scientists and the like who reject the EF’s draconian laws on advanced genetic modification. Also as a scary example to hold up and say ‘see! This eugenics-obsessed state is what happens when we let genetic modification run amock!’ Man for man, any given Halifaxer is stronger, faster, healthier, longer lived and ‘smarter’ than a non-modified human, however. Just... not anywhere near as many of ‘em. 

The Newflesh Dominion - basically the Halifax Unity, but with Cybernetics. Right down to the scary example and dumping ground qualities)

The Varis Republic - a somewhat libertarian (albeit sane about it) state that expects the EF will absorb them sooner or later, but hopes to cut a deal to allow them to be absorbed as a single unit and keep some of their own preferred economic policies. In the meantime, it plays the Systems Confederacy and the EF off against eachother. 

Imperium Novae Romae - The Empire of New Rome. Founded initially some 450 years ago, when a trio of sleeper ships that left earth in 2081, financed and led by the Classical-History obsessed billionaire Fredrich Zoloman. Today, they speak Latin, organize themselves in ways modeled on the Romans and in general, act exactly as the name suggests. They entertain the notion that they can make conquering them by force too much of a hassle for the EF to ever try it, and to resist EF economic manipulation, they have a close relationship with Epsilon Industries subsidiary, Gladius Corp. 

Again, there are others, but those are the biggies.

Post Registry

[junker-town]

The Bachelorette Episode 5 recap: What was absolute garbage last night, and where were the bright spots?

Lee’s racism is still a main storyline, and it’s still super gross.

Hey gang, welcome back to hell, aka the recent episodes of The Bachelorette. This week, we’re going to do things a little bit differently, because I’m fed up that the producers are still making one guy’s flaming racism a main storyline.

In case you missed it, we left off primed for a two-on-one date between Lee and Kenny, from which only one man can return. Oh, and as though that weren’t bad enough in and of itself, they’re dragging this out for two nights. There’s an episode tomorrow, too, which is, for a Bachelorette beat writer, like having two back-to-back exams in college and but without Cheetos from the library’s vending machines to get you through.

Last week I wrote about how this show stopped being fun. I debated not writing about it at all anymore, to be honest, because a) last week made me want to stop watching, b) I have only so much to say about how slimy it is, and c) I said it all here. I have a feeling that until Lee and his Richard Spencer haircut get sent home, I’ll just keep writing some version of that over and over, with varying degrees of disgust.

However, I’m hoping that once this Lee B.S. is done, the show will get back to being what it’s supposed to be: a dumb (as opposed to sinister), Monday night diversion. In the meantime, I’m going to write about this program by scoring it like a sports game. I’ll be awarding an arbitrary number of points to Team Garbage and Team Bright Spots, so that at the end of this we can see whether there was anything worth watching at all.

BACK IN GOOD OL’ SOUTH CAROLINA BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE WE ARE FOR SOME REASON

Ugh, Kenny and Lee are talking on the porch. Kenny’s trying to stay calm. Lee says, “I respect how f[bleeping] calm you are, because you couldn’t do that the other night.” Lee is egging Kenny on, asking if he wants to get violent, twisting his words, gas-lighting him. I hate this. Lee calls Kenny a stack of bleeding muscle.

+1,800 for Team Garbage.

But then Kenny says this about Lee when Lee eventually backs down: “See what a b**** does when a b**** is confronted?”

+1,800 for Team Bright Spot.

BRYAN IS A TOOL

Bryan and Rachel are making out in a sailboat tied to a dock. It’s reminds me of kids making out in parked cars behind the high school gym, but instead of a car it’s a boat, and instead of high school it’s a reality show, and instead of kids it’s two humans over 30.

Bryan’s smarmy, smooth voice sounds like that of a late night DJ on a soft rock station. He says to Rachel, “So if you think I’m too good to be true for you, and I think you’re too good to be true for me, then there’s a very simple solution: I just think we’re a perfect match.”

Someone call Shakespeare and tell him there’s a new all-time great wordsmith coming for his throne!!!

This is not a point for Team Bright Spot, but it’s not a point for Team Garbage either. It’s more a point for Team Goober, so let’s go ahead and add that to the mix.

+900 for Team Goober.

Bryan's priorities are in order. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/cla5qLM32i

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

OH NO, OH JACK STONE, OH POOR JACK STONE

The last one-on-one date in South Carolina goes to Jack Stone, the lawyer who, for some reason, is the first person in the history of The Bachelorette to get a last name rather than just an initial.

I thought Bryan was a tool. But Jack Stone is giving him a run for his money from the get-go, when he says, from the perch of the horse-drawn carriage, “I like to joke, and if someone can’t take a joke, and joke back, it’s boring.”

Jack Stone, buddy, pal, my friend: if you have to say it, it probably isn’t true. This schmuck has definitely texted one of his friends before and been like, “Why do nice guys always finish last?”

Rachel and Jack Stone go to this bar called Shuckin’ and Shaggin’, where they eat oysters and do a dance called shagging. Which is not, as Austin Powers would lead you to believe, another word for having sex. Rachel doesn’t seem to be having much fun. Jack Stone gets pretty creepy on the boardwalk afterwards.

Jack and Rachel laying down the law on the dance floor! Well, Rachel anyway. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/r9RJbRP0QM

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

“So it was really hard to focus in there,” Jack Stone says. “Did you not notice? I kept staring at you? You looked amazing. You looked so pretty in there.”

Then he tries to kiss Rachel and Rachel is like “Eh, I’m sick, you don’t want to kiss me,” and he’s like no I do, and she’s like, no you don’t, and then he kind of pecks her on the lips and I AM DYING. I couldn’t be experiencing more second-hand embarrassment if I were actually the second hand on Jack Stone’s body.

OH MY GOD THE MOST AWKWARD EVENING DATE IN THE HISTORY OF THE BACHELORETTE HAPPENS

Note: If you’ve ever been on an incredibly uncomfortable date and don’t want to relive it, skip this, because I guarantee it will bring those memories flooding back. After watching and writing this I can’t stop thinking about this one date I went on where the conversation was the romantic equivalent of pulling teeth, so I lied and said that my roommate called to tell me my dishwasher broke. And I said I had to leave to “fix my dishwasher.” I might be a jerk.

Jack Stone tells the camera he’s falling in love with Rachel, which is strange because I think they’ve had maybe one (1) conversation before today. She looks as though she’d like to fall into the void she’s wishing would open up underneath the table.

Rachel says all the right things though, about how he’s great on paper, and how she’s hoping there’s some chemistry there. I find it hard to believe she thinks there could be after she looked physically repulsed when he tried to kiss her that afternoon, but I guess she’s all in on Bachelorette-speak.

It becomes very clear very quickly that there is no chemistry to be found when Jack Stone starts getting super weird. This, I have to say, is quality television. I’m laughing pretty hard as Jack Stone says, “I love parents,” and, “is your dad funny? I feel like I get him.” Rachel’s like “you don’t know my dad?” And Jack Stone’s like:

When it's just not there. #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/M78lb36ibz

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

AND THEN JACK STONE SAYS HE’D LIKE TO TAKE RACHEL TO DALLAS, LOCK THE DOOR, AND JUST LAY IN BED AND HANG OUT

Which is what serial killers say before they murder you. I’m pretty sure Jack Stone is blacked out; I think that’s what’s going on. I don’t know how many drinks he had at Shuckin’ and Shaggin’, but he can barely string sentences together, and has trouble processing it when Rachel sends him home from the date for being the Mayor of Sketchyville.

I don’t know how to score this. I think we might be back to Team Goober. And I think it’s, like, +90,000.

LEE TALKS MORE TRASH, WILL EXPLAINS RACISM TO HIM, LEE DOESN’T LISTEN

Lee is trying to get Will to be on his side about the whole Kenny thing. And Will is like, “When you call someone aggressive, there is a long-standing tradition in this country of regarding black men in america as aggressive to justify a lot of other things.”

Lee goes on a rant about how he doesn’t respect it when people play the race card, and I want to put my foot through the television.

+320,984 points for Team Garbage.

ROSE CEREMONY

We know Lee won’t go home because they’ve been teasing the two-on-one date with him and Kenny forever. My question is: Are the producers making Rachel keep him around? Is she okay with this? She cant LIKE him. Ugh.

+10,000 points for Team Garbage.

+900 points for Team Bright Spot, because Iggy finally got sent home.

BRYAN’S ONE-ON-ONE DATE IN NORWAY BECAUSE SOMEONE AT ABC HAS CONNECTIONS TO THE NORTH POLE

I don’t know why, but for the past two seasons we keep going to the arctic. Nick took his ladies to Finland, and now Rachel’s taking her gents to Norway. Nothing against either of these countries: They both seem great. But whatever happened to romantic beach escapes? One of the producer’s dads must owe Santa Claus a ton of money and this is how they’re working through the debt.

Anyway, Rachel and Bryan go on the first one-on-one date in Norway, which is funny, because she hated Jack Stone and loves Bryan and they look exactly the same. Actually, they both look just like Joel Osteen, as Clinton Yates of The Undefeated pointed out. And then Jeff Weiner of the Orlando Sentinal made this:

I don't know what this is (network sitcom? cult brochure?) but creating it was a welcome distraction from what's happening on this show rn. http://pic.twitter.com/zGDpzTQicA

— Jeff Weiner (@JeffWeinerOS) June 27, 2017

Anyway, Rachel and Bryan-Jack-Joel go to this huge-ass ski jump left over from the Olympics (I think, I dont know, kind of made that up) and repel down it. Rachel is scared.

“I think I'm more afraid to let go physically rather than emotionally, but today I’m afraid to let go physically,” says Rachel, and it’s the most impressive Bachelorette platitude I’ve ever heard.

They make out in mid-air; Bryan makes these soft humming sounds while they kiss and I feel physically ill.

RACHEL IS INTO BRYAN, PHYSICALLY

Rachel and Bryan have a ton of chemistry, I’ll admit, so I think she just wants to seriously smooch (wink, wink) him. She wonders why Bryan is 37 and still single if he’s so great, and I’m like, hey, listen, let’s not assume people aren’t dateable just because they’re not already spoken for. I say this out loud to the pint of Ben & Jerry’s in my lap and the house plant near the television that I have named Steven.

Your friendly neighborhood Bachelorette, Rappelling Rachel! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/ZXWAMOyXxr

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

Rachel is being honest about not being able to believe it when good things happen to her when it comes to relationships. She says she doesn’t believe men when they say nice things, and that she has trouble taking compliments, because she’s guarded and skeptical. I relate to this, and would imagine many other women probably can too, so this is a big win for Team Bright Spot.

But then Bryan’s like yeah I used to be skinny and had acne and no one liked me but then I got super hot when I was a senior in high school LOL. Who among us, Bryan with a Y?

Anyway I guess they had a nice date, Bryan’s fine, whatever, who cares. I don't know why he creeps me out so much. He just does. He tells Rachel he loves her.

Let’s give Team Bright Spot +20,000 for this date because the bar is so low.

HANDBALL DATE AND ALSO OH YEAH PETER IS GOING TO WIN THE SHOW

“He was like Jordan in the ’97 Finals.” –Rachel on Will #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/3y76Moiplb

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

So the guys go play handball. Alex the Russian dude calls the Norweigians vikings, and the Norweigian handball coach says, “Handball is life.”

Peter is so clearly going to win this whole thing — he and Rachel make out (she straddles him!) in a hot tub at the night portion of the date. They walk back into the main room three and a half hours later the way two college kids who had sex all night walk into the dining hall in the morning and have to face all their friends.

But Rachel gives Will the Immunity Rose because if she gave Peter the Immunity Rose everyone would be like yeah, I’ll pack my bags and leave because there’s no way I can catch up to how much Rachel likes Peter.

There is, however, this really funny moment when Josiah tells Rachel, “You are the woman for me. The woman of my dreams. I just want to grow old with you and I really, really mean that, Rachel.”

Rachel is like hey, the thing is, you don’t ask me questions about myself.

Josiah says, “Right. You’re so perceptive.”

He leaves the conversation being like, “Nailed it!” and she literally tells the camera: “Do I question it? Of course. He sounds disingenuous. He likes the idea of me than rather than really getting to know who Rachel is.”

I love how this probably happens all the time with dudes. Where a woman leaves a date being like, eh, he seems up his own ass and self-involved, and he’s on his group text with his friends being like “she loves me, bro, I killed it, we’re totally going to bone.”

#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/6eEiPIA3RC

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 27, 2017

Team Bright Spot gets points because Rachel dunked on Josiah behind his back. +1,825

LEE AND KENNY’S AWFUL, MANIPULATIVE 2-ON-1 DATE

This is where stuff gets bad again. I’m still so appalled by how long this storyline has gone on.

I have a hard time believing Rachel doesn’t see exactly what’s happening. It’s not about her relationships with them at this point, these guys have become a side show. Yes, that’s what the two-on-one date always becomes — no one who goes on it ever makes it very far after. But this is the grossest yet.

The whole back-and-forth on the date is fairly extensive, but, in short: Kenny tells Rachel he isn’t aggressive the way Lee says he is, and then Lee lies and says that Kenny tried to pull him out of a van one time. Rachel says she believes Kenny.

This reminds me a lot of WWE. Kenny’s a wrestler. He’s the face. Lee is so one-dimensionally evil that I don’t know whether this is scripted; he’s the quintessential heel. The producers have set it up so the two of them just sit there talking trash to each other for a while, and Rachel isn’t there. I don’t know where else she could be if not told specifically to hang back, considering they just flew into the middle of nowhere on a helicopter.

Perhaps it’s real. But either way, we’re all being manipulated racism for ratinga, and it’s and ugly and I wish they hadn’t gone this shameful route. No amount of knowing or not knowing absolves this plotline of it’s terribleness.

Tomorrow won’t be any better — Kenny bleeds from the eye and weeps, and Rachel cries a lot. I am dreading this with every fiber of my being.

But hey, nothing like a bunch of active racism to promo the next episode! This has moved to extremely shameful levels

— Clinton Yates (@clintonyates) June 27, 2017

Team Garbage points: +2,890,267

TOTALS

Team Garbage: 3,223,051

Team Bright Spots: 24,525

Team Goober: 181,800

Welp, Garbage won tonight by a landslide and I can’t imagine tomorrow will be any better! Classic 2017 for ya.