#SINCE TED & PETE ARE SPANKOFFSKI

[sorryiwasasleep]

holy fuck i just learned her name is grace chasity not grace chastity. what the fuck (i literally just still put chastity and had to delete it)

[unoriginalbun]

Inspired by this meme:

[booigi-boi]

Also please tell me if you knew they were related before or after NPMD (Or before NMT even, you theorists). I'm also curious to know how you feel about them being brothers, knowing how different they are, plus age gap 🐐💛🐐💛

[yeaimsmokingpot]

GUYS I WAS WATCHING A OLD COMP OF LIKE LINDA MONROE SCENES WHICH CAUSED ME TO THINK ABOUT WHO EVERYONE IN LINE WAS TRYING TO GET A WIGGLY FOR AND DO YOU THINK HOMELESS MAN'S WAS GOING TO BE FOR PETEY ?????

[adventures-in-hachetfield]

Welcome to Adventures in Hachetfield!

Im Kingsley your host for this little asking area for my au! you can ask different characters from hachetfield! you will be able to ask different questions to the following characters

Ted Spankoffski

Pete Spankoffski

Paul Matthews

Richie Lipshitz

Max Jagerman

Boy Jerry

And all ya'll have to do is specify the character,i might add some more characters in the future, you can also just like ask me questions about my au.

[cornfieldsrambles]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO INFODUMP PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT WIGGLY'S SIBLINGS???? THAT HE APPARENTLY HAS????

omg ok SO

Meet the Lords in Black. Charming, aren't they?

Yes, Wiggly does indeed have four brothers who all do different things, so I'll cover them one by one, in order of introduction (since we've already met each of them in Nightmare Time at least once). BTW Nightmare Time has a fuckton of lore in it that I won't go into here, so even though I am about to spoil significant parts of it for you, I do recommend watching it, it's really good and if there's enough interest they might make a third one!

(Also you might notice they're all in doll form in this picture. This is how we knew them up until NPMD introduced us to what I call their Tumblr sexyman forms. Which are rad as hell by the way.)

So you already know Wiggly. That little green fucker, Wiggog Y'Wrath, the Capitalist Cthulu who does uwu-speak and starts a cult by invading people's minds. This will become a bit of a reoccurring theme with these guys. He's also the only one to successfully start an apocalypse, and the only one to have attempted to birth himself into our reality. (Or is he? We'll get to that...) He does seem to have some kind of dominion over the other LiB, as whenever all five of them show up there's always emphasis placed on him, like in NPMD where he does most of the talking while his siblings occasionally butt in.

Now for Bliklotep. Blinky seems to have slightly lower-scale ambitions than Wiggly, but don't let that fool you. Eyeball Boi is still incredibly dangerous. He runs an amusement park, WatcherWorld, deep within the Hatchetfield Witchwood. But it's not for the amusement of the patrons. Oh no. It's for Blinky's own amusement. Once you step inside, every insecurity, every shred of potential conflict will be ripped to the forefront, turning people against each other to the point of trying to kill each other until he's fully infected their minds. It's implied that, if not all, but a significant chunk of the workers at WatcherWorld were once patrons before having their minds taken over by Blinky. He's also implied to be the thing in Trail To Oregon that Jack Bauer sees during his venom-induced hallucination, as Blinky is referred to as "The Watcher With 1,000 Eyes", which is exactly what JB says he sees? Making Blinky the only LiB to induce a Starkid crossover. My headcanon is that the Dikrats founded Hatchetfield. But regardless.

Next up on the roster is Tinky. T'noy Karaxis, the Time Bastard. You may be wondering about that one line in NPMD where he recognised Pete as a Spankoffski, and said he "could have the whole set in his toybox". Has Tinky gone after Pete's relatives?

Well. Um. You know Ted, right? Yeah, his name is Spankoffski. He's Pete's big brother. We actually got the surname reveal before the brother reveal, lol. And that's not the only reveal we got about Ted. Our boy Teddy Bear has this whole entire tragic backstory and it turns out he gets fucked over in literally every timeline! Isn't that fun?

So, to summarise an entire episode: Tinky makes travel fuckery happen, Ted wants to go back in time to fix his life, accidentally goes back to before the time machine was created and gets stuck in the past, literally. Tinky is watching and laughing at the whole thing, then shows up to blow Ted's brain to smithereens with his weird little magic box, the Bastard's Box, where he stores all the people he toys with. Anyway Ted eventually catches up with the present by aging, except now no one knows who he is, he's... actually I won't spoil that. But once he dies he ends up eternally trapped and tortured in the Bastard's Box. Yaaay.

Fast forward to Nightmare Time 2 and we get introduced to Nibbly, in possibly the most unexpected way imaginable. He's revealed to have been behind a whole episode literally right at the end of said episode, and even though it was kind of foreshadowed, it hits you like a freight train in the best way. Remember when I said Wiggly was the only one who tried to birth himself into reality? That was kind of a lie. Nibblenephim can sort of do that anyway. Every year, he can possess a bunch of carcasses and create a living form to walk the earth for one night. He also has a cult of followers who provide him with the carcasses, as well as a sacrifice to feed on. There's a little more to it, specifically with how the sacrifice is chosen, but again, I'm trying to spoil as little as possible. Go watch Nightmare Time. Nibbly also seems to have a "pig" motif, and his theme song, The Nibbly Ditty, is a banger, easily my favourite of the three LiB theme songs we've heard so far.

And finally, we are introduced to Pokotho, in the very last episode of NMT2.

Except no. We were formally introduced to Pokey there, yes, but we've seen his apocalypse already. Long before NPMD, before Nightmare Time, even before Black Friday.

Yeah, remember me saying that Wiggly was the only one to successfully start an apocalypse? That was also a lie! Pokey already did that, and he did it without ever showing his masked face. Remember The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals? The blue spores that came down in a meteor and turned everyone into singing zombies? That was Pokey's doing! That's his blue spores! That's his apocalypse!

This also provides an explanation for why blowing up the meteor didn't work. Emma and Hidgens were right about the hivemind thing, but wrong about the location of the central brain. It wasn't the meteor - the meteor was just the vessel which carried the spores to Earth. The central brain was sitting safely up in the Black and White, laughing as Paul blew himself to smithereens. The central brain was Pokey, the Singular Voice, the most uncompromising of his brothers. The one who hates every voice that is not his own, hence the hivemind and making all of his zombies speak in HIS voice.

Anyway in NMT2 he's happily collecting musical zombies by taking on a human form and infiltrating a fighting ring of superpowered children until he has enough to kickstart another apocalypse. (Don't question it, we're almost done). He also calls himself Otho, not Pokey, making him the only LiB to have two different abbreviations of his name. Hannah is also there (remember her? Lex's little sister?) and she is like incredibly important to this whole thing, she has a super powerful mind, but that's a whole other thing.

But I did mention Hannah for a reason. Because you said "Wiggly's SIBLINGS". And while the Lords in Black are always referred to as brothers, they do have one more sibling. A sister. A Queen in White. And her name is Webby.

Yep, Hannah's imaginary friend isn't imaginary, who could have guessed? She's benevolent, always trying her best to combat her brothers' antics, but given that there's one of her and five of them, this is a bit of an uphill battle. Webby doesn't have a full name that we know of, nor does she have a doll. We don't know much about her. And she may not be all-powerful - but then again, neither are her brothers.

Infodump concluded. Hope this helps, it was very fun to write.

[unusual-ly]

Infuriating to suddenly feel really motivated to work on this fic yet make the firm decision to wait for a pro-shot that might not even have anything new that’s relevant to this story

I was so sure I’d at least start working on this Spankoffski bros in Black Friday fic I’ve been thinking about for a while soon but now I want to wait for the TGWDLM reprise pro-shot in case we get anything new that I could incorporate *^*

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

Thinking about how Matt Lang mentioned rerunning TGWDLM.

Obviously, there'd have to be changes. Not just in the casting, but in every aspect of the show just due to the nature of how Hatchetfield has expanded and how TGWDLM has aged.

Now that we know for sure that the events in TGWDLM happened because of Pokey, I think they'd design the show even more around the colour blue instead of green like in the original promotional material. This also gives Matt Dahan so much more to work with when it comes to underscoring, think of all the motifs he has to sneak into the scenes now.

Hidgens would have to be recasted, and while there's plenty of options, I think after Workin' Boys he has to be played by Jeff Blim. I don't know if anyone can ever top what Jeff did in WB. Of course, that would mean that Jeff's original TGWDLM characters would need to be recasted as well. Mr. Davidson has not been seen in HF since TGWDLM (save for the small BF cameo), so it wouldn't be hard to find someone new for that role. Sam Sweetly is more difficult because of his appearances in Nightmare Time and the pre-recorded NPMD cameo, but it's impossible to have Jeff play both Hidgens and Sam in the same scene so he would still most likely be recasted.

The only Jeff character that would need to stay the same is General John Macnamara, that's another permanently Jeff character, in my opinion. The show would require some rearranging so that the Macnamara and Hidgens scenes weren't back to back this way. Between TGWDLM and BF, Macnamara went through a lot of character development and Jeff really discovered who he was by the second show, so it would be super interesting to see him interacting with Paul again now that we've learned so much more about the guy.

Now that Hatchetfield has expanded so much, I think it would be really fun to bring in new characters that we've met since TGWDLM happened. They should include Curt Mega as Officer Bailey in Show Me Your Hands, since we know he canonically works alongside Sweetly. Bring in James Tolbert during the PEIP scene as Xander Lee. Even just the people on the streets in La Dee Dah Dah Day, imagine the amount of cameos that could come into play there. Kim Whalen dances in as Becky Barnes, Angela Giarratana is Grace Chasity, all these well-known characters that we never saw during TGWDLM before making small appearances as they were already infected by the hive mind.

Speaking of the La Dee Dah Dah Day number, it would be fucking awesome to get Joey Richter back in the Pete Spankoffski costume for the coffee shop scene to do the hot chocolate boy bit.

I also just think a new perspective on the show will change so much of the context. Like Emma discussing Jane, we now know Jane's family with Tom and Tim. We're now very familiar with Ted's little brother, a character we had no idea existed during TGWDLM (think about Ted's little freak out over Alice being dead at Hatchetfield High...). We had no idea that this apocalypse was brought on by one of the Lords in Black.

Anyways. I agree with Matt, they should definitely bring The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals back for another run of the show.

[tiredandoptimistic]

From what I can remember, the Lords in Black never refer to anyone by their preferred name. Howard Goodman is "Mr. Prezzy-Wez," Ted is "Teddy Bear," Grace is "Gracie," Steph is either "Stephanie" or "Steffie," and Max is either "Maxwell" or "Maxy."

They usually go for childish nicknames (treating humans as children, not worthy of adult respect), but Max and Steph get their disused full names instead. I wonder if it has something to do with both of them having negative relationships with their parents, so it's more demeaning to get that "you're in trouble now young lady" tone that comes with full names. This lines up with Grace being called Gracie, since we hear her parents use that nickname for her.

The other exception is Pete, who's just called "a Spankoffski," which fits with Pete's attempts to control his image to avoid being mocked. I bet he gets judged for being Ted's younger brother all the time, and he probably hates it. Despite all his efforts, he's not seen as his own person; he's just Ted Spankoffski's loser brother.

The cutesy nicknames also remind me of Grace in "Bully the Bully" and "Bury the Bully," when she uses nicknames on her friends. "Steffie", "Ruthie," "Richie," and "Petey." Much like the Lords in Black, I think she uses childishness to disguise the terrible things she's capable of (though in Grace's case it's more subconscious and she's fooling herself more than anyone else).

Anyways I don't have a point here, I just overthink these things.

[roastedpoisonedcoffe]

Spankoffski bros headcannons

Tinkys Blorbos Spankoffski bros headcannons

Pete lives with ted because their parents got tired of parenting a little after ted moved out

Ted got full custody over Pete not wanting to just send him into the system

Ted set up Pete play dates with Richie and Alice since they were the only kids he knew were around Petes age

despite their big age gap they actually are close

Ted brought pete to work once when the babysitter cancelled and couldnt find one that could come before he had to leave for work so he hid pete under his desk

charlotte gave him some candy

Ted was not happy when pete chose that look when he said to pick one and stick with it

Pete was actually shocked to see how worried ted was after the events of NPMD

[cherrieguroo]

tarot stream notes

1- og tgwdlm kickstarter earnt the least amount of money, and its possible reprise becomes the most earning.

2- they'll reveal 5 things, 3 mentioned before, 2 never mentioned

3- there's people in jon's home and mariah joked about getting in character as doug and going to arrest them if they reach a certain goal

4- pokey doll prototype has little smiling embroidered eyes. he's also bigger than nick's head in case you wanted a size reference

5- nick is streaming from a cathedral

6- nmt3 stage ver talked about again, there'd still be narrations, miss holloween would be standalone due to money and time constraints. nmt3 was a planned end for hf

7- miss holloween wouldn't be like workin' boys because workin' boys was set just in the theater and that's why it worked

8- TAROT FINALLY STARTING

9- "it's more accurate to say it's like an oracle deck"

10-

11- they invoke the names together and it's fully off-sync until they reach tinky. they're still off-sync just less

12-

13-

14-

15-

16- starting off with one card readings, then increasing, and one person will get a 5 card reading

17- first card pulled is The Alchemist (23), which is hidgens!!

18- shoutout to nicole rodriguez, who drew art for all 35 cards!!! we love nicole in this household

19- paul fucks with the meaning

20- paul gabriel is a canon character in the hatchetfield universe it seems

21- doll showcase again

22- next card is for lauren, The Singular Voice (2)

22- audience card pull?

23- we got The Father, which is bill!!

24- OH MYG OD

25-

26- JAMES GETS A 3 CARD READING, past is The Oracle, which is hannah!

27- I THINK I SAW A CHARLES CARD OHMyGoD

28- james tolbert has had future-predicting dreams since childhood

29- present card is The Warrior Of Light, which is becky's card!

30- future card is The Collector, SHERMAANNNN. no sheila card it seems 😔😞😔😔

31- SPEAKING OF SHERMAN AND SHEILA, JAIME'S HEREEE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

32- JAIME GETS A CARD !!!!! she gets the oracle so no image attached here.

33- later this year this will be a physical tarot set up for purchase

34- matt's here and he'll pull a card! he gets The Witch, which is miss holloway!

35- I THINK I SAW A LUMBERAXE CARD? LET'S FUCKING GO?

36- cinderella's castle kickstarter surpassed!!!

37- info about the next possible project! ORBWEAVERRRRR. file name is Orb Image.jpg

38- charles coven mentioned in yellow jacket recap. he wants the fosters "for some nefarious reason"

39- orbweaver was the planned ending point of nightmare time. also would be staged

40- hannah is 20 now

41- the rats' castle is a potential story for the castle series

42- 3 cards for mariah, past is The Mastermind Oh my god is this charles please be charles IT'S CHARLES

43- "i look fucking sexy" —james tolbert talking about the card art

44- present is The Outcast, the "meanest card in the deck", richie

45- future is The Lovers, pete and steph

46- pokey showcase number 3. also i'm gonna put all of this under a read more once the stream ends

47- curt's turn for a reading. he gets three. first is past, The Fool, aka The Worst card... this card is ted spankoffski

48- present is... not being revealed yet, It's info time woooo. CAST PARTY MASSACRE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!!! hf project most likely to be a movie

49- Now it's time for the present card. curt gets The Seed, alice woodward!!

50- charlotte & zoey cards spotted

51- future iss The Wounded Soldier, tom

52- masks are mandated in the tgwdlm rerun showings

53- kim's here!! she gets 3 cards as well. first off is past: The Chaste Maid, GRACE CHASITY

54- present is the warlock

55- future is The Rebel, lex foster!!

56- next up is jon with 3 as well. joey's gonna do 5 and jeff will do 3

57- jon's first card is The Constable, detective shapiro!!

58- i have no idea how i've gotten so many images in this post while on mobile. anyways, present is The Blade of Truth, general john mcnamara

59- future is THE ADULTERER LMAO hello charlotte sweetly my love

60- pokey doll showcase number 4 yaaaay

61- three cards for jeff! first off we've got The Barmaid, emma perkins!! or zoey.. or nora? jk it's emma woohooooo

62- present is The Hunter, max jägerman!

continues in the reblogs!

[honeyspawn]

Silly little assorted Hatchetfield Headcannons that don't warrant thir own individual post:

Paul is a pretty good cook, but not an excellent cook. Like, a 7/10. Above average. Sometimes his food comes out a little bland, but his chicken is never dry, and his pancakes are always fluffy.

Richie draws fan art. Ruth writes fanfiction.

Mr. Spankoffski's shoe store is in Lakeside Mall near Toy Zone, and he is on friendly terms with Frank Pricely. Sometimes when Pete is around he goes in there to look for action figures or Lego sets when he has spare cash. (Also Pete was helping his Dad in the mall during Black Friday, and Ted came when he heard what was going on to pick them up)

Boy Jerry didn't actually think Donna was guilty of murder in "Hatchet Town," he was just trying to get a promotion.

Richie makes cosplay tiktoks.

Despite being very good at swimming, for years Daniel's family thought he couldn't swim at all, because they never could see him doing it, and thought he was lying when he said he swam across the pool and back in a split second.

Ruth loves Be More Chill

Lex found out Santa wasn't real when she was 9 because Pam forgot/didn't bother to get her or Hannah gifts from Santa that year. When Lex asked, Pam confirmed it and said she's not doing it anymore. Lex has been making or buying Hannah a gift from Santa every year since, even after Hannah stops believing in Santa (it's a tradition at this point)

MacNamara and his husband have 3 kids. Their oldest son (Joey's army character, in tgwdlm, since apparently that was what he himself intended with his character portrayal), and 2 identical twin daughters about the same age as Hannah Foster.

Before she had to switch schools, Alice was the stage manager for the Hatchetfield High drama department, and Ruth was her underclassmen protégé (Ruth absolutely used to have a crush on her).

[booigi-boi]

Some of my Ted headcanons since I apparently got inspired by Joey's ones for him 🐐

Very hairy, mostly upper body tho

Polish heritage

Unlike Pete who does know Polish, Ted only knows basic phrases and words

He uses this to pick up women and thinks it's cool to know multiple languages (if you're from Europe, you know it's kinda not)

He does know it enough to communicate with Pete when the boy calls him and has to be discreet (Pete makes sure Ted understands him)

Has a goat hoof shaped birthmark that every single Spankoffski that has ever lived has. Both him and Pete have it on their right forearm

Was made fun of cause of the birthmark so he hates goats

Lives in a two bedroom apartment with Pete near his work

When he needs to drive Pete to school, he makes Pete pay him

The money doesn't stay with him tho, as he puts it in Pete's snack fund that he gives him every day before school

Ted pays for the snack fund himself

Plays Europop loudly when in his car, embarrassing Pete whenever they drive together

Music taste stuck in early 2000s, doesn't know modern artists at all (pretends to know when he needs to pick up women

Owns fedoras and Panama hats

Owns way too many summery button ups with hideous prints

Bisexual but leans towards women

Likes the color yellow, especially mustard yellow

Seen as the fuck up in his family, Pete is the only one who cares about him (Pete was a do-over baby for their parents)

Only one with his own office at CCRP cause he has no shame and annoys his coworkers constantly (can't be fired cause he's one of their lab rats, ofc)

Dog person

Gets Jenny flashbacks constantly and drinks to forget

His theme song is Lady Mustache by Tape Five

[terrimavr]

So I thought about the implications a little too much and made a really depressing realisation about the spankoffski brothers

Since we are shown that all the nightmare time 2 episodes are in the same timeline that means that daddy and abstinence camp are also in the same universe

In abstinence camp Pete says that he is going to miss the honey festival

During the honey festival Sheila shoots Ted and kills him

That means that after Pete experienced abstinence camp, where he lived many near death experiences and witnessed two people get brutally murdered in front of him, no one came to drive him home. I like to think that he returned with Steph because Solomon didn’t really care. But still that means that he went back home and his brother was missing/dead

[possibly-evil]

Some notes on the Spankoffski bro's ages that I did for a fic:

Ted was born in 1984, and Pete was born in 2002. That means that Pete was born when Ted was 18. That means that in NPMD, Ted is 36.

Now, Time Bastard takes place when Ted is 35, HOWEVER, that only happens after Paul and Emma get married, so we can assume that Time Bastard has not taken place in the NPMD universe. However, since Ted isn't mentioned or shown in NPMD, we have no way of knowing whether he's learned about his office's time travel abilities yet, or if Tinky has revealed himself to him.

Peter is 16 in TGWDLM and Black Friday [edit: thank you anobservatory]

My AU:

Ted goes to college when he's 20, meaning Peter is 2 when Ted leaves. Ted only attends one year, and has to leave because his parents won't give him any more money. That same year, he gets a job at CCRP by pretending to have a degree.

Peter begins staying with Ted when he's 12, meaning that Ted works for 9 years before coming back into contact with his family.

Peter starts living full time with Ted when he's 14, though Ted doesn't legally have custody of him.

[edit]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!

Did a little more research, and realized that Ted is still in college in 2004. With my AU, this still works, but thought it'd be good to add in case anybody wants to use this for reference

[oakleysobs]

one of my biggest wishes for the tgwdlm revival is that we will get a mention of Pete. Obviously since Joey plays both of them we won’t get them on stage together but now that we’ve met Pete we should atleast know how he’s doing through this and how that’s affecting Ted. We see him in la dee dah day dancing but that can always be changed. Anyways I really like the spankoffski bros