✨Guess who just read X-Men: Children of the Atom (1999)?✨
Here’s some incorrect quotes for these dumb children that I adore.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
*in the Danger Room*
Bobby: Is anyone else scared?
Scott: Not really. I’ve already lived longer than I expected.
— — — — —
Jean: We call that a traumatic event!
Hank, turning to Scott: Not a “Yikes” moment!
Hank, turning to Warren: Or a “Major L”!
Hank, turning to Bobby: Or an “Ooph lmao”!
— — — — —
Warren: How much sleep did you get?
Scott: Like eight.
Warren: Hours?
Scott: Minutes.
— — — — —
Warren: Scott, I don’t know to tell you this, but you’re in love with me.
Scott: I am?
Scott:
Scott: Oh my god, I am!
Hank: What kind of confession am I witnessing?
— — — — —
Scott: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Bobby: Warren said “I love you” and you said “Thank you”, didn’t you?
Scott: The reasons are pERSONAL!
— — — — —
Jean: I can’t believe you’re training today, Scott. Why aren’t you in bed?
Scott, with his voice clearly gone: I feel fine.
Bobby: That’s what we’re going to put on his gravestone. “He felt fine”.
— — — — —
Magneto: I will spare you misguided children if you are able to answer these riddles. He who makes me doesn’t want me. He who buys me doesn’t need me. He who uses me doesn’t care. What am I?
Scott: A child!
Magneto: Jesus Christ that’s dark. Are you okay? Do you need a heart-to-heart talk about this?
— — — — —
Warren: Okay, here’s the plan. First, we set off the fire alarms—
Hank: Warren, we can’t set off an alarm if there’s no fire; we’ll get in trouble!
Warren: Okay, fine. First, we’ll start a fire—
— — — — —
Warren: Do you ever get that feeling when you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?
Scott: That’s called arrhythmia.
Warren: I get that feeling every time I see you—
Scott: You can die from that.
Warren: I know you’re smart, but can you please stop for one second?
— — — — —
Scott: What do you even see in me…?
Warren: You should sit down.
Warren: {takes out an endless list}
Scott: Wha—
Warren: Let’s begin from the first time I saw your eyes (read: glasses) glimmering while you sat next to the class’s window—
— — — — —
Hank: So Jean! Our dear friend and teammate!
Bobby: We just wanted to remind you of how much you love us!
Warren: And how boring your life would be without us!
Jean, completely done: What did you do?
— — — — —
Warren: We’re just…
Scott: Working!
Warren: Yes! We were just working…together…independently…
Jean: So. You two work without your clothes on?
— — — — —
Bobby: We could be killed!
Warren: Or worse, the professor could give us another lecture on “responsibility”!
— — — — —
Warren: I have an idea.
Jean: A good one?
Warren: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
— — — — —
Scott: Oh wow, this computer is huge.
Warren: Yeah, almost as big as my dic—
Scott: What?
Warren: —tionary…
— — — — —
Hank: What’s wrong with you?
Scott: Off the top of my head, I’d say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
— — — — —
Bobby: If I cut off my foot and, like, swing it at you, am I kicking you or hitting you?
Hank: You’ll most likely mentally scar me more than anything.
— — — — —
Warren: {flirts with Scott}
Scott: {flirts back}
Warren: Well, I wasn’t prepared for this outcome.
— — — — —
Xavier: What could be giving you anxiety?
Scott: Umm, let’s see. Every aspect of my life.
— — — — —
Jean: You have no idea how to show affection to anyone!
Scott: That is not true! I hugged Warren once!
Jean: That was a chokehold!
Scott: Same thing!
— — — — —
*after Xavier takes him in*
Scott: Mental health? Zero.
Scott: Am I okay? No.
Scott: Will I be okay tomorrow? Probably not.
Scott: Hotel? Trivago.
— — — — —
Warren, talking to Bobby: My sexuality is more complex, you see. It’s a spectrum.
Scott: {smiles at him from across the room}
Warren: Gay, I’m fucking gay.
— — — — —
Hank, telepathically to Jean: He’s in the kitchen again.
Warren: “Beat three eggs” in what? Hand to hand combat??
Jean: Get him out!
— — — — —
Scott: I like you how I like my emotions.
Warren: Explain?
Scott, whispering in his ear: Buried deep inside me.
— — — — —
Scott: Life keeps fucking me, and I can’t remember the safe word.
— — — — —
Bobby: {holds up rock covered in painted pride flags} Wanna throw this through a homophobe’s window?
Scott: I’m down, but heads up I might fall asleep halfway through. I’m barely awake right now.
— — — — —
Scott: There’s a tiger painted here. It’s got a fierce look on its face, as if to say, “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.”
Scott: Don’t worry, Mr. Tiger. Hope and I haven’t been on speaking terms for a while now.
— — — — —
Scott: Have you ever been handcuffed before?
Warren: Wait, sexually? Or by law enforcement?
— — — — —
Scott: I get really nervous when Warren compliments me. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to say.
*later*
Warren: You look beautiful today.
Scott, panicking: Happy Birthday—
— — — — —
Hank: Please, that is utter terminological inexactitude.
The rest of the o5:
Hank: {sighs} That’s bullshit, fuckers.
— — — — —
Jean: How many times do I need to tell you guys this? Pick up any trash you find and don’t leave it lying around! It’s not that hard!
Warren: There’s no need to talk about Bobby like that; he’s right here.
Bobby:
Jean and Hank: Warren, no—
Scott: Geez, Jean, you could’ve just asked me to leave and I would’ve.
Jean and Hank: SCOTT, NO—
— — — — —
Warren: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.
Scott: What am I when I’m not nice?
Warren: Hot as fuck.
— — — — —
Warren: Hey, remember that time I accidentally walked around telling everyone I got a hentai tattoo instead of a henna tattoo?
Bobby: You mean the best day of my life?
Bobby: I recall.
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O5 story. Based mostly on X-Men: Season One
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It was cold in the Xavier Mansion that day. They were out of fuel for the fireplace, the Mansion was out of power due to the recent Brotherhood visit, it was a late sunday night, Professor was out for some important matters and said the students shouldn't leave the Mansion.
Jean, Scott and Hank on the couch filled with blankets and pillows. Bobby was normal in one blanket in one of the couchs. Warren was on a mattress on the ground, wrapped around his wings with less blankets than the other.
"Jean, you're kicking my waist." Scott, in the middle of the couch, was pretty much cramped in between his friends.
"Sorry." Jean said, moving her foot from Scott's waist to his lap.
"Why don't you go to sleep in your own rooms instead of together in this couch? Do you seriously think this can fit 3 people? To sleep?" Bobby asked.
"This way, we can put together all our pillows and blankets. Also, human body heat." Hank answered.
"Hey, my couch is almost empty." Bobby tapped the couch he was in. Only him, a blanket and a pillow.
"You would freeze me in my sleep." Scott justifies.
Jean looks around the room, seeing Warren in his mattress. He didn't need that much blankets, because he already had wings. Jean remembered what Hank just said about "body heat" and had an idea. Maybe a bad idea, but a lot better than sleep-kicking Scott through the night.
"Hey, Warren? Got room for another one?" Jean asked. Warren, sleepy, didn't understand what she said at first, looking confused at the girl.
"This couch is full and you're all alone in your mattress. And I can fit there." Jean explained. Warren, finally understanding, got a pink flush on his cheeks. He knew that it was just friends sharing a bed, but he could feel the eyes of the other boys as Jean picked up a pillow and a blanket and moved to Warren's mattress.
Jean laid on his side, carefully positioned to not touch his wings. After, Warren put one of his wings on top of her, covering Jean.
"Thank you" Jean said, adjusting her pillow. Warren felt all of the eyes in the room at him, Scott especially. Although Scott seemed to stare at him with something more than typical jealousy (or maybe it was, since it was harder to know with that eye-cover of his).
Warren rested his head on the pillow, he always needed to sleep face down because of his wings. Jean turned to the side, closing her eyes.
Scott looked at Hank, as if he was trying to formulate a phrase but couldn't find the better words. Hank understood what Scott was trying to say, and gave him a "You can go" look. Scott picked up a pillow and a blanket and went to Warren and Jean's mattress.
Warren didn't even asked him questions, to sleepy to want to really talk. He lifted one of his wings and Scott carefully laid under it, turning his face to the opposite side of Warren's.
Hank seemed happy to have the whole couch for himself. Bobby stared at the mattress, looking at Warren laid face-down in the middle, Scott on one side and Jean at the other, both resting under his wings, and thought "On summer, they will come sleep with me!".
The next morning, Warren, Jean and Scott woke up cuddling much closer than when they went to sleep, to which Scott was sort of flustered, Warren was trying to play it cool (sleeping with someone with his wings out felt much more intimate than anything he did on a date), and Jean was finding their embarassment funny. Bobby was thankful he got to see that Warren Worthington III, the Angel, the guy all girls wanna date and all boys wanna be, drools in his sleep. Bobby was sure he would keep that picture forever.
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