#Screamed when I saw nic cage was gonna be in it

[sandy-shocks]

OK I don't main a survivor on dbd I kinda just cycle through them whenever I feel like it but Nicolas cage might change that

[sadistgalore]

Chapter 4: This Is Where The Fun Begins

Previous | Next | Masterlist

CW: Starvation, human trafficking mention, suicide mention, dehumanization, implied torture, implied non con, defiant whumpee, humiliation, slapping, electrocution, master/pet, beating, broken bones, torture, conditioning

Harper couldn’t sleep that night. She was fucking scared shitless.

She was locked in a cold, dark room being starved, and was being reduced to sleep on a cement floor. Not to mention, she was fucking kidnapped by a pervert that killed her father and took her brother.

She and Beth had read missing person cases, and investigated strange networking of human trafficking. They never got anywhere close, but they met survivors, and the stories they told were horrible.

Being reduced to be another person’s pet, being dehumanized and forced to crawl like a dog or cat, being kept in a cage and getting dog food.

The worst one Harper remembered was a girl her age, who escaped from her “master” a few weeks before. She was visibly thin, likely starved, and she had several scars on her body that she was afraid would never heal. She described her life for three years, where she was mostly confined to a bed being used over and over again. She was nothing more than a toy for her owner however they wanted, and she mentioned the punishments she would have to endure if she didn’t follow exactly what her master said.

Harper still got goosebumps whenever she thought of that poor girl’s story, and will never forget the day when she saw her body in the police station morgue.

Death by suicide.

“Oh god,” she whispered. “Oh fuck, that’s gonna be me.”

She shakily drew in a breath, and exhaled in a sob. She broke down crying, regretting everything she ever did bringing herself here, and could not stop thinking how she would end up exactly like that survivor.

I don’t wanna be...oh my god I can’t even think about it. Will I even get out of here? What will he do to me? He said he won’t hurt me if I follow his orders, but what will those orders be? I don’t wanna degrade myself for him...should I submit or be defiant?

After a moment of thinking, she made up her mind that she wouldn’t break like that girl. She would be strong, for Beth. Beth would find her, or Nic. She won’t be here for long, she knew it.

They already got his name, Alpha team was about to raid the Vault, so they’ll save me...right?

Harper shook her head, she couldn’t think like that. She had to remain strong and not lose hope. She got up and put her back to the wall next to the door, and soon as someone came in, she would attack.

Not even after a minute of standing there, Harper heard a voice from the ceiling.

“Tsk, tsk, little dove. We’re not playing that game. Get back to your little corner, else you’ll regret it when I get there.”

Harper looked around, there’s was no one in the room how did he-

“There’s a camera, dumbass.”

Harper’s face flushed red as she noticed the camera in each of the corners of the room. She sighed and walked back to her corner in shame.

Not gonna submit, huh?

“Whatever,” she mumbled to herself as she put her head in between her knees.

She laid there for about an hour, occasionally whimpering whenever her stomach growled, until the door opened.

Harper scrambled up to her feet and clutched the wall behind her once she saw who it was.

“Good afternoon, Harper,” Dark said as he stepped into the room.

Harper said nothing when he walked right in front of her face, then slapped her.

“What the hell?” She yelled as she clutched her stinging cheek.

“Lesson one,” the man said as he walked into the center of the room, pulling out a cattle prod from his belt.

“You address me with respect, not silence and a scowl,” he finished as he turned on the cattle prod, causing blue sparks to form. It took every ounce of Harper’s willpower not to flinch.

“Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? If I were to call you, you would walk over to me, head down. Do not look at me in my eyes without permission, and be prepared to crawl if I command you to. Now, little dove, come.”

Harper stared at him with a mixture of shock and disgust. “I’m not a dog.”

Dark rolled his eyes and flipped a switch on the cattle prod, which shot a string with the taser heads attached to it. It latched onto Harper and shocked her, causing her to scream immediately.

“You’re whatever I goddamn say you are,” Dark growled as he retreated the tasers back from his captive’s chest. “Now, come. I don’t like repeating myself.”

Harper blinked away tears, those tasers fucking hurt like a bitch, and slowly walked over to her tormentor, eyes on the ground.

“Good girl,” Dark said, patting her head, and Harper couldn’t resist her flinch.

“Next step,” the man continued. “When I say a greeting to you, you respond the exact same thing, ending your sentence with either Sir or Master and, only if I allow it, Edward or Mr. Darmine. I hate the name Dark, the public and your little police force gave me. You will not address me with any other title, no bastard, asshole, bitch, none of that else your punishment will either be a muzzle attached to your face or your lips sewn shut. Speaking of muzzles, you will continue to address me properly even if you are gagged.”

Harper swallowed while she stared at the ground.

What. The. Fuck?! Master? No, no, no, no fucking way. Absolutely fucking not. I guess calling him Sir is fine, but no Master.

“So let’s try this again. Good afternoon, Harper.”

No, fuck please no.

“Look at me, Harper.”

Harper’s blue eyes met his cold, dark brown ones. Not even dark brown, more like black; there's barely a hint of color in them.

Dark rested the cattle prod under her chin. “One last time, pet, address me as Master. Good afternoon, Harper.”

The girl’s mouth opened to speak, further investigating the fear just beneath it, but no words came out.

Dark glared, raising an eyebrow as a small sign of mercy but still, Harper chose to stay nothing.

He turned the cattle prod back on.

Harper couldn’t even scream as her body seemed to freeze in place, but the searing pain still remained coursing through her veins.

Dark threw the cattle prod back and forth between his hands. “I can do this all day, little dove. Just call me Master and all this pain will end.”

“N-never...asshole-” Harper was cut off by her own screams.

“Now, what did I say about those no-no words, dear?”

Harper was twitching, struggling to keep upright, and Dark noticed this.

“Another good lesson you should learn, sweetheart, is to kneel when your owner tells you to.”

“O-owner?”

“Yes, Harper,” the man said while gripping her chin. “You’re my property now.”

Despite her pain and the consequences, Harper spit in the man’s face.

Dark threw her back, disgusted, and reached for a handkerchief to wipe off the saliva from his face.

“You,” he murmured. “Are going to regret that.”

He flipped another switch on the prod which caused a chain reaction to extend the base and retract the taser so the cattle prod looked more like a baton.

He lunged at her, not perturbed by his captive weakly covering her face with her arms. The baton hit the side of her waist, then landed another hit in her calf. He continued till Harper was on the ground, and continued even as a few of her ribs and bones began to break. He finally stopped when he heard a blood-curling scream from Harper, and saw bone sticking through her arm.

“Oopsies,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Sometimes I just see red and just can’t hold back, you know?”

Harper just sobbed as she clutched her arm. Her entire body was in white hot pain, and she wanted to throw up once she saw her bone piercing her own skin.

“Alright,” Dark said with a playtime is over tone. “Get up and let’s try this again.”

“No, please,” the broken girl whimpered. “Please I can’t.”

“Yes, you can because I’m ordering it. I don’t care what you want or how you’re feeling. You do whatever I say, no questions asked.”

Harper still remained on the ground, sobbing, making no effort to move.

Dark sighed and raised his arm, clearly in Harper’s line of sight even through her tears.

“No, please! I’m s-sorry, okay? I’ll try again...I’ll try.”

Dark retreated his arm and stepped back, giving Harper room to get up.

She was shaking all over, and it seemed damn near impossible to just prop herself off the ground. But still, she tried and managed to get on your knees, crying out in pain as she did so.

Harper flinched as she heard the cattle prod crackle. “I don't have all day, pet. Hurry up before I give you another beating, this time with a bat of nails.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You’re a quick learner. “Please, I can do it just no more-“

Again, cattle prod lifted up her chin and she was met by a deathly glare.

“I hate excuses. I don’t care, keep going.”

Harper nodded as he removed the tool, and finally stood up straight again.

“Try again from the beginning, no mistakes.”

Dark stepped back into a separate corner of the room.

“Come, pet.”

Harper walked over to him, eyes down.

“Kneel.”

She took it as a mercy and listened, considering it a rest from her sore and broken body.

“I’m leaving. Have a good afternoon, darling.”

Still, Harper couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t degrade herself like that.

She cried out again as she was met with a harsh slap. Dark grabbed her chin.

“You will learn very quickly that I am not a patient man. When I tell you to do something, you do it, understand? Now, address me as Master or I’ll cut out your tongue.”

How could he say that so casually? Plus, he wouldn’t do that...would he?

Dark cleared his throat.

“Have a good night...Master.”

Dark kissed the top of her head. “Good girl, just do that from now on and follow orders, and you won’t get anymore beatings.”

“S-sir…?” Her voice was barely a whisper. She clutched her arm, still in very much pain.

“I’ll give you some pain relievers with your food in a few hours. Oh, and don’t blame me; it’s your fault that happened.”

And with that, he left with a composure that he didn’t just beat the shit out of someone.

Harper fell to the floor, still clutching her arm in pain. She eventually managed to crawl her way over back to her corner, leaning against it in the most comfortable way possible.

I can not believe this is actually my life now. I’ve spent every day trying to find my father’s killer only to be taken as his fucking pet! He seems attached, will he treat me differently than all of the other people he kidnapped? Or will he end up killing me when he gets bored? Maybe he’ll keep me, and if I seem like I submitted to him, he’ll show me around, maybe slip a little, and I can find out as much information as I can from the inside. Maybe he knows what happened to my brother.

Maybe he’s like me, and is in a cell somewhere.

Maybe I could save my brother.

Harper stared up at the ceiling, with a new goal set in mind.

“I’m coming, Harry.”

[a-bugz-life]

Fuckin’ Amphibians || Anita & Nicodemus

TIMING: A few days ago. PARTIES: @professoranieves and @bountybossier SUMMARY: Anita and Nic are both out in the forest when they run across some Ballogbogs. Things get a bit psychedelic. 

Anita had lived in White Crest for almost five years now. When she first arrived, she knew of a handful of supernatural beings, but her worldview expanded exponentially even within the first few months of living here. It didn’t hurt that she spent a lot of her time in the woods, mostly for the bugs partially for the isolation. But even in her years of experience, she apparently still had more to learn. In her exploring, she found herself near a small pond out in the forest. Perfect place for some interesting breeds of bugs. But then she saw them, very large and very gross looking toads. She didn’t think much of it, toads love bugs too. But as she drew closer to the pond she noticed one of the toads puff up, and then shoot something at her. “Shit, shit…” She groaned, as she tried to run before it hit her. But she wasn’t so successful. Initially she didn’t feel much of anything, and thought for a second maybe she was immune to whatever this was. But then the leaves on the trees began turning pink? And the ground began to slowly melt under her feet? No, something wasn’t quite right.

The place farthest away from the lake was the woods on damn near the other side of town. In between trying to figure out any thing that might help deal with the fucking squid, Nicodemus went about business as usual. Took up a job and saw it to completion. Traditionally, he wasn’t picky about jobs that demanded a bounty dead or alive. He took whichever. But lately, he wasn’t in the mind for killing. Just a catch and release to the shadow paying him. The task of catching a handful of fatflitters was just mundane enough that he didn’t expect to be bothered too much. The hunter tapped his fingers against his thumb as he walked, a small perforated cage in his other hand. The things were quick and liked their fatty tissue, so it was just a matter of finding the right tracks of a larger creature and hoping the quick shits were on it. The croak of toads sounded loudly to his left and he briefly looked over in that direction. Over the sound of toads, a voice. A voice that sounded a hell of a lot more bothered than he did. The hunter considered just keeping on the way he was and even as he did, he was already heading over to the noise. As he drew closer and his night vision made out the shape of a person, he looked over at the pond. Oh hell. Fucking ballybogs. They didn’t like when anyone got too close to their little domains. And it looked like the stranger had found that out. He cleared his throat to try and get her attention. “You, uh, you good?”

For a split second Anita thought she saw a person approaching, but it quickly became clear to her that this was no person, but rather a very tall and mobile ice cream cone. Interesting. It was rocky road, which wasn’t her favorite flavor. No pun intended but she really wasn’t a fan of nuts. But then the strangest thing happened, the ice cream spoke to her? No that couldn’t be. She slowly got closer to it, trying to figure out if maybe someone was just standing behind it? But no, just one singular cone of ice. “You can talk?” She asked, the disbelief thick in her voice. She sat down on the ground in front of the ice cream and dropped her head into her hands. “This ice cream cannot talk to me. This ice cream cannot talk to me.” She whispered, then rubbed her eyes and looked back up. “Fuck.” It was still an ice cream cone.

She was looking at him like she wasn’t really seeing him. Nicodemus squinted. Ballybogs made homes out of the swamps he grew up in and he had seen people when they got hit by their shit. Woodstock had nothing on what ballybog crap could do to a person. Once, a few years ago, not even he had escaped it and he was stuck trying to hop into the Mystery Machine that had just been a hollow log. The shame of that still haunted him sometimes. Fucking Scrappy Doo. “Yeah, I can talk,” he answered with a sigh. Damn it. He just wanted to find some damn fatflitters. Not this mess. When she sat down, he stepped back and put a hand on his hip. Oh hell. “This, uh, ice cream is fuckin’ talking to you. That’s me, one big damn waffle cone.” Alright, so she was seeing him as an ice cream cone. Maybe she wouldn’t feel like attacking him. He glanced down at her. “And I might be able to waffle us the fuck outta here.”

Anita was shocked when the guy? Yeah, sounded like a guy, seemed to respond to her delusions … and knew that he was a waffle cone? Anita stood up, eyeing the frosty treat with delicate suspicion. But it was almost as though the moment that he acknowledged that he was in fact a waffle cone, things began to shift. Anita began to hear odd voices coming from all around her in the forest. They weren’t speaking any language she understood, but something told her they were not nice voices. Suddenly, the nice ice cream cone began to melt, causing large puddles of melted chocolate ice cream. “Oh no.. oh my god… here let me help.” Anita tried to scoop up the puddles of ice cream and put it all back into the cone. “We can’t get out of here until I fix you… I can’t just leave you here for them to get you.”

Her eyes, large and confused, were directly on him and Nicodemus couldn’t help but feel a little scrutinized. Waffle cone or not. Jesus, he was starting to refer to himself as a waffle cone. Maybe he had been hit too. When she started to try and put dead leaves, plus bits of grass on him, he decidedly was not feeling like a waffle cone. “Alright, no need to go and do that,” he asserted as he took a step back. “Think you’re the one needin’ help here.” Surely someone else would come along and help. People in town had a habit of running headlong into shit every day. As he waited for a beat, a ballybog croak answered him. Fuck. He was the person that had run headlong into shit. And she had too. “Let’s get the hell on outta here, huh? I think somethin’ nearby is causin’ me to--fuckin’ Christ--melt my ice creamy bits all over the place.” He winced and shook his head. He was a hunter, for fucks sake. With a reserved expression, he offered a weathered hand. “Name’s Nic, alright? Let’s get on away from the fuckin’ acid trip frogs.”

Anita had been ignoring his claim that he didn’t need help getting all of the ice cream back into his cone, largely because that was just insane? Why wouldn’t a giant cone of ice cream want all of it’s contents securely inside of itself before running off? But then he finally offered a real reason. He was melting because of something nearby! Of course! Quickly, she stood up and stopped scooping up the ice cream melted in giant sticky puddles on the ground around them. Anita reached out to take the cone’s hand, finding it a bit odd that he had hands to begin with. “Nic the Ice Cream Man.” She repeated, clearly making up those last three words herself. His comment about frogs threw her for a loop. She had heard stories about supernatural frogs. As she was just about to open her mouth and say something, she saw all of the ice cream quickly melt away from Nic and the cone break off into a million tiny pieces. That’s when she realized that he really wasn’t an ice cream man… he had been a giant toad in disguise all along. She let out a soft scream, then quickly pulled her hand away from him. “You! You’re the acid trip frog!” Without paying much attention to where she was going, she began to slowly back away from him.

Nicodemus breathed in sharply through his nose, thankful as hell that she had stopped trying to help get his ice cream back together. Jesus, he was already in too deep with the ice cream bit. It was too much and he can feel a nerve pulsing somewhere near his temple. He shook her hand a bit stiffly. “Just, uh, Nic works,” he said. “The...Ice Cream Man is my father?” Whoever the hell that was. He had never met the poor bastard. And just when it had all been going so well, she looked at him like he was coming apart at the seams. Hell, he just might have been. Ballybogs spat serious shit and she had been hit with it. His hand clenched by his side before it came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. She was backpedaling towards the ballybogs again and he could see the damn things puffing up. He moved toward her and attempted to act as a buffer between. Like a dumbass would. “No. Nope, I’m not the acid trip fr--Oh fuck.” The ballybogs spat and Nicodemus blocked his hand with his face. He blinked twice, squeezed them shut, then opened his eyes to see his hands melting. His ice creamy hands with weirdly frog-like fingers but hey, he had been born with those. He stared at them for what felt like a century. “I...I think I am the ice cream frog,” he said as he looked at her. “And we gotta get out of my fuckin’ swamp.”

As the giant ice cream began to move towards Anita, she began to panic. How was she going to get out of here? She didn’t even know where here was anymore. Had she hiked here? Was her car nearby? Could she even drive like this? Unlikely. She heard a faint noise from beside her and while it took her a moment to place it, she eventually recognized it. Amphibians. And this ice cream frog was likely their king. Of course the dumb fucking amphibians still had a monarcy system. Reptiles had evolved beyond that need of hierarchy. “If you’re the ice cream frog… can’t you just make them stop! They’ll listen to you. Amphibians are really dumb.”

“Reckon they want us to move away from the party we weren’t invited to,” Nicodemus said as if it were obvious and it was. He could understand them. He splayed his hands out to his side, ice cream and all, in a sign of submission. They could respect that. “Partners. Fellas. We’re just gonna hit the, uh, old dusty trail now as it were. Didn’t mean to bother you fine folks this evenin’.” He made a sound as close to a frog as he could before he turned on his heel and took to walking away. He turned his head toward the stranger and spoke in a stage whisper. “They might not be bright but they like bein’ respected. Let’s just go on elsewhere.”

Anita watched the frog’s leader try to talk them down, finding the level of kindness he was showing them to be more than a bit annoying. In fact she might have rolled her eyes at his big performance, or maybe she just thought about rolling her eyes and actually didn’t move at all? It was really hard to tell. So she tried again, feeling pretty confident that she did this time roll her eyes and not just roll her head around in a circular motion. “Of course they’re not bright,” Anita quickly replied, not bothering to follow suit and speak in a whisper. “Why would I want to go anywhere with you? You’re like their leader or something stupid.” Despite her resistance, Anita followed this strange somewhat suave smooth-speaking ice cream man. At least wherever he was going was away from here, and away from those fucking frogs.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Candy 15-17

Alright I know this is supposed to be sad but this feel so ridiculous it’s funny

“He ventures a glance at Dave, who is at the front of the line carrying a smaller casket containing Dirk’s decapitated head. “

why is there a seperate casket for the head, that’s not what funeral homes do xD

“It would be absurd were it not so tragic, and possibly also predictable.” 

“He looks at Dirk’s casket, sitting diagonally in a hole in the floor and popped about 13% of the way open.”

That’s a strangley specific number

Am I to take the imagery of something being diagonal as imagery for a “4″ and then complete it with the 13 to make 413?

Cuz is so, that’s heavy handed and ridiculous probably just as Dirk intended

“ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

Dave gets to his feet”

right because Dave is always so eloquent when it comes to delicate emotional matters lol

I don’t know why I’m finding this all so hilarious instead of tragic, maybe because it’s so melodramatic and in a way that feels scripted specifically by Dirk himself

ah, 3 quarters 

3 1/4′s

413 backwards now

“or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it “

I’m noticing more and more every time the phrase Cosmically fated is used in some form of Homestuck media its always bringing to mind ideas of Doc Scratch, like he’s the one who said it actually or it’s said in reference to him

so, +1 point to DS = DS again

“Gamzee:  I may not be all up and learned about his life, but I’ve got deep spirital connections to his death.”

yeah you sure do, and we’re not even talking about his decapitation right now aren’t we Gamzee?

This is actually a really solid point that the day “Dirk” died was the day his ultimate self got poisoned through the unholy merger that is Lord English/Caliborn/Gamzee/AR/Equius

So he’s probably been a bastard ever since Lord English started existing, which I mean “I am already here” blahblah means Dirk was very likely like this from the start potentially, but he was probbaly only really a bastard ever since Arquis got sucked into Caliborn/Gamzee

“GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

The clown thrusts his hand somewhere beneath the waistband of his pants and starts obscenely rooting around. He retrieves a piece of paper, crumpled and soaked from the rain outside, and attempts to smooth it out over the lectern. The wet paper breaks apart immediately beneath his oafish clown paws.

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!”

yeah that note was probably the last shredded remnants of good dirk since there’s literally no reason to leave a sentimental note like that for his friends, makes sense Gamzee was guided by “a higher power” to grab it and make sure it gets relayed more like ruined to his friends

“KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.”

What? How does “I’d say he’s doing fine” translate into “a three letter statement”?

Are they just hamfisting in the threes now or what?

“DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.“

Yeah if only they’d realize that what Dirk needs is a huge heaping helping of someone pushing back against his dumb decisions for once

Gotta give it to John though, he’s struggling against this drugged up haze so hard, he knows getting married to Roxy isn’t right and tries to think about that

but then he gets caught up in the drugged up candy haze and starts giggling, yeah you guys are gonna be happy alright, happy in a nice little drugged up stupor

lampshaded by John still reaching out to terezi despite being at his human wedding

Aww, trolls don’t have a concept of weddings? well, that makes sense but still

oh man it just keeps happening, this is supposed to be the story where John and Roxy get their love story, but all were actually getting is the faded echoes of what should have been which is apparently John and Terezi

oh god, Jane, jane why did Gamzee have to be your third partner, what the fuck even

I don’t wanna think about Gamzee about in relationships nope this is where I start getting uncomfortable

confirmed jade attempting Blackrom with Karkat, that’s interesting, and she’s bad at it too meaning she must not really have an interest in it

oh wow, she’s really just doing it because she thinks its what Karkat would want isnt she? Girl really is just desperate for love

“Three months later, John is still thinking about his last conversation with Terezi.”

See, this is how you know the JohnRoxy relationship is doomed/not meant to be

John Egbert, lover of Con Air and Nic Cage, has a loving wife and (probably) daughter and NOT ONCE has this narrative shown them OR made the joke, we just absolutely passed over the whole wedding and birth event in one fell swoop of unrequited feelings jam with another woman

Why is Roxy praying? That’s such a weird thing to drop as a small detail, who would she even be praying too?

“What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.”

Yeah relationships built on social chameleon-ing aren’t happy for the chameleon either

Yeah John, little bit late to be having this sudden realization that you didn’t actually solve the problem (LE) by running away from it, even if everyone else has accepted that version of events

“ JOHN: you gave me a list of instructions and told me that i had to use my retcon powers to go back to a very specific point in time to defeat lord english when he was still just a kid. “

*THEORY INCOMING KILL BILL SIRENS ACTIVATE*

Wait, is that what Rose said at the beginning? No it isn’t, I remember the bit about John has to go back inside canon and defeat Lord English, I don’t think the method was ever fully explained though, nor the idea that he had to defeat him as a kid, it was never said he had to go back in time, just go back to canon

and that’s not what happened in the Meat timeline either! Nobody went back in time to defeat Caliborn when he was a kid, they just had the big showdown with LE exactly the way Rose is describing that went horribly wrong

this is practically screaming NEITHER Meat or Candy is the true version of events 

Actually yeah, defeating Caliborn really IS the way this should be settled, because it’s also the way that Dirk get saved as well, can’t get his ultimate self tainted if the taint is destroyed before it ever comes into contact with him

also im rereading the prologue now, it’s is NEVER explicitly said that John has to go and defeat lord english’s child form!

She said “you have to go back to canon to defeat LE” NOT go back in time to defeat caliborn

and “you can’t recklessly attack his hulking adult form without the house juju”

not “you can’t attack him as an adult at all” but “you can do that WITHOUT the juju” and describes it being used in the same way that Vriska ended up doing in Meat

yeah, she never mentions any plan to defeat him as a child in the prologue, which probably means Rose only saw a vision of his defeat as an adult as well

It’s gonna be JOHN who gets the idea to go back and kill him as a kid, because that’s how he understood Rose’s instructions!

But this is great, everything is vaguely worded enough that it COULD be applied to a fight against a young caliborn too! but just hasn’t yet!

What if you take the empty cursor and fill it with a young caliborn? instead of unleashing a full one against an adult LE? which proves to be pretty useless in the long run despite Rose’s apparent clouded vision?

Rose even says herself its only purpose is as an empty vessel meant to be filled by something, talk about totally understanding yet missing the point, this is probably what she meant by being unable to see any path beyond the meat or candy routes, she couldnt see the possibility of using the juju on caliborn before everything goes down just like how it was used on John and friends to trap them in there in Meat!

It’s Caliborn’s destined time out spot! Removing him from Canon and from being able to influence it without needing to kill someone who technically hasnt done bad things yet but absolutely will in the future solving the baby adolf problem with Caliborn

Oh man, what if they even trick Caliborn on using it against himself? talk about an earthbound reference, defeat Gigyas (LE) by tricking Pokey (Caliborn)  to trap himself in the "Absolutely Safe Capsule” (House JuJu)

Oh man back on the Candy train though John’s having an absolute breakdown, being infused with that canon retcon power seems to be the only thing preserving his ability to care about stuff beyond this happy drugged up paradise

Earth C has become Homestuck’s Ba Sing Se

“ He braces himself, as if splashing an imaginary glass of cold water in his own face, and reminds himself once again that he has a wonderful life. A perfect life. He’s HAPPY, god damn it.”

You really aren’t John, this is very clear, dousing yourself with some more Void to try and drown that out ain’t helping