#SillyDrivers

[buildsafe]

PORTLAND, OR—After flagrant attack, building humbly claims Alibi. 

[nicklaus-angel]

#hell #trafficjam #morninghell #backtoschool #sillydrivers #fuckthisshit #putafuckingflyoverforthesetwoschools #poorroadinfrastructure (at Goodlands, Riviere Du Rempart, Mauritius) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1pgzV4Bw7vgPLGz9ZRh4966dfd1EOyFikZl8w0/?igshid=ql869d4mbids

[buildsafe]

HINGHAM, MA—A squirrel and a historic home of Abraham Lincoln form an elaborate conspiracy to crash a 2014 Audi Q7. Sources speculate that a theatre is also involved. 

[buildsafe]

BEACHWOOD, OH—Woman believes in God more than God believes in woman as she demand he take the wheel; God joins War on Cars

[buildsafe]

PORTLAND, ORE—Traffic lights and stationary objects join War on Cars. 

[buildsafe]

PORTLAND, OR—McDonald’s did not respond to a request for comment to excuse their restaurant from crashing into a passing 2003 Infiniti late last night or attempt to claim that the McDonald’s corporation did not plant the stolen handgun found inside the vehicle. 

[buildsafe]

PORTLAND, ORE—We are shocked to learn that the Portland Police Association attacked a Porsche SUV last night. And as you know, law enforcement protect their own and the building remains at large.

[buildsafe]

MISSOURI—The unforgiveable act of aggression shows that cars have trusted buildings for far too long. 

[buildsafe]

United States—After a weekend riddled with pool attacks, the Automotive General has declared it unsafe to drive within ten miles of standing water. Because the safety of cars must always come first,

[buildsafe]

PORTLAND, OR—Drag-racing house crashes into minivan.

[buildsafe]

TELLURIDE, CO—Nature joins hippies in War on Cars.

[buildsafe]

AUSTIN, TX—War on Cars so intense that cars embrace self-hatred and attack each other.  

[buildsafe]

SANTA ANA, CAL—A dangerous dental office attacked a moving car from below. The building remains at large. 

[buildsafe]

MILFORD, CT—Authorities tell drivers to be on the lookout for house 35. Wary drivers have not identified the house, which remains terrorizing cars, but the number 35 has been associated with at least one attack on an innocent automobile so far. The state legislature has declined repeated efforts that would force buildings to wear ID.

[buildsafe]

SEATTLE, WA—Gap Clothing store lures van in for attack with deceiving brand name. Van remains in critical condition. 

[buildsafe]

LAS VEGAS, NV—One city takes a vital step to protect its precious car resources from violent buildings.