#So I had absolutely no reason to stay
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I'm also still laughing that he really showed up, introduced himself as an Archivist of the Cobalt Soul, and then insinuated that they were going to go extrajudicially hunt down, capture, and "interrogate" a Cerberus Assembly Archmage. Sir, archivists do not do that kind of thing, least of all on their own, LEAST OF ALL with a bunch of random hooligans they were just sent to collect for an unrelated excursion. Quite honestly, that was the thing I kept going back to in evidence of, there is absolutely no way this is a legit archivist.
#sir you kNOW how the cobalt soul works#why didn't you use 'expositor'#'trained sorcerer' THE COBALT SOUL IS NOT TRAINING SORCERERS#SORCERERS DON'T GET TRAINED#you lying idiot. you absolute dumbass. you beautiful fugitive who has miraculously stayed alive for seven years.#I love him SO much#but actually his bit about his mother being a barmaid was actually deeply charming and that was the one moment I had a sliver of doubt#the way he delivered that bit was great and I do joke but he is a very good liar when he really needs to be#he's charming! he's got high charisma! he's a delight! he can spin a tale!#also honestly very funny for me personally. for tiefling fic reasons.#cr spoilers#essek thelyss#critical role
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sorry for no art was too busy MEETING BRENNAN ZAC AND ERIKA????????
#i didnt get a pic with zac but i did get his autograph which is huge#doxxing myself a little but i really needed to post abt this#i was front row and rverything it was amazing .. i wasnt even going to dreamhack for them i was going to watch the cs2 tournament with my#best friend and then i got an ad about dnd with brennan and i was likw WHAAAAAAAAT#i missed the finals of rhe cs2 tournament AND seeing my favorite team win live just to stand in the meet and greet line for three hours but#i have absolutely no regrets.. i wish i could post the video of my meet and greet w brennan he complimented my piercings and makeup right#off the bat before i even said anything but my name.. we had a super sweet convo#AND ERIKA WAS SO SWEET TOO! rhey brought brennan food bcs he stayed in the meet n greet for way longer than he needed to and they took#pictures and signed stuff and talked to people even tho they werent meant to be in the meet n greet for some reason.. idk why it was#only brennan poor him . but anyways i had a lot of fun it was awesome the one shot was so funny and fun i love d20#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#brennan lee mulligan#erika ishii#zac oyama#dreamhack#dreamhack 2024
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Aaaaanother TGAA SwapAU stuff and it is my wonderful boy Albert as the prosecutor!!
I've changed some of the designs in this one like the jacket color to white to make a resemblance of a lab coat and reflecting of Kazuma white school uniform, as well trying to bring more Frankenstein's Monster vibe too hehe (aaand make him look more miserable too). He is also have a locket that have a painting of him and his two brothers, it was given by Andrew during his wedding!
I also made bunch of character that related to Swap!Albert's life from 10 years ago, like Andrew(Klint's roleswap) and his other brother Michael, university Barok and Albert, etc. more info about the are there down below 👇👇
First of I wanted to say I'm sorry I can't do full render of everyone here, do that with all of them would be death sentence for me so I couldn't do it 😭😭 Anyway without further ado, I'm going right into it! Start from left to right!
This first one Ryunosuke father replacing as Genshin Asogi. At first while brainstorming I was thinking of maybe do three switch around with Genshin, Jigoku, and Yujin but the it somehow felt weird for me. Then the thought of maybe involving Auchi in this too (like, imagine him being swap with Jigoku wouldn't that be funny and terrifying thought), but discarded that idea out because of Menimemo would have no one to swap with (i have to i'm sorry). Sooo I ended just design him from scratch, he is quite easy to figure out since Genshin doesn't really have much going on with him, but since we don't have any idea of original Ryunosuke's parents at all I have to take idea from something else, and that is his daruma doll for his eyes (he is half blind!! :D) and Phoenix DD/SOJ design (droopy hair and light vest) and everything else is from Genshin. His name is Ryuuki Naruhodo since Ryunosuke is another name for Ryuichi so I want to keep the train going!!
Andrew the screwdriver, oh I missed him- Anyway, I redesign his outfit because tbh his previous outfit is ridiculous 😭 it's funny and fun but I do want to take him seriously now. I'm tried to keep the A shape still but it's less subtle now, I think it turned out okay!! (Oh yeah, his cane is supposed to be a hidden sword but i forgot to put that in the drawing 😭). I was supposed to make his bowtie red like the hair tie but then I realized it will getting rid of the purpose of the hair tie (it referencing the blood on the tip of the screwdriver) so I ended up making it color silver.
The Lady Baskerville, I gave her similar design to Sunny(Herlock!Swap) with the bowtie, color palette to his mascot, and hair on her. I'm not really quite fond with her design, maybe I'll do redesign her again if I got a idea pop up like crazy but in the meantime this is her design.
Guess who is this?? Another one of Albert's tool is here finally!! Michael the crosshead screwdriver! Since we never see Michael anywhere and only mentioned once in the game he is, I'm just draw simple design for him (I wished I could put M shape in the design but I have no idea WHERE to put it 😭 so I tried used the bowtie for it). I also thought it would be nice to make him a defense attorney so I made the design for the badge too. Since he is sadly not going to be mentioned a lot in this AU since I'm trying to make the storyline same as the original, so I made a backstory of what happened in the fun fact tags. There was supposed to be more tool to be added but my god that would be taxing to design, so I have to make only Andrew and Michael as his only siblings.
The doggie Balmung replacement, Bolt, He is a Irish Setter! Beforehand he was supposed to be Borzoi but then research the background of the breed I don't how difficult it is to actually get one in that era so I have to changed breed :((
Albert and Barok in university days!! I just keep same as before like previous design!! There's a tiny change like the hair and the neckties.
There is going to be more content of them soon because I have a lot of ideas for them sooo stay tuned ;)
Here's the concept designs!!
#tgaa#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#tgaa2 spoilers#the great ace attorney#swap au#genshin asogi#klint van zieks#ryuuki naruhodo swap au#andrew harebrayne swap au#michael harebrayne swap au#<- once again i still cannot believe i made Albert's screwdrivers a thing in this au and just says they're both good siblings and ryunosuke#<- father is supposed to be his daruma. i'm having fun with this but also omg#lady baskerville#balmung#fun fact: Albert has a vast knowledge about bugs as he is fascinated by nature. He learned in university day as a side hobby#<- this is my way to replace bats living in his prosecution office. and Kazuma absolutely hated it (he hates bugs in this au)#fun fact: Albert is always sleep deprived and constant migraine 24/7 so because of the he is actually drinking less frequently in court#<- up until Kazuma shows up#fun fact: Albert does read the Randst Magazine of Jane Watson stuffs during his absents and personally enjoys it. But where it comes to#<- Jane herself he absolutely have enough of her bullshit. says that her invention is absolutely bogus and should always just stay in#<- fiction and that made Sunny so mad he ended up called him Grimsy because he says he doesn't deserve the Lord title (but it's okay.#<- later on the grudge is subside and he still called him Grimsy because he likes the nickname he gave him)#fun fact: Andrew actually squint his eyes because he is also nearsighted. He just refused to wear glasses as he kept losing it#fun fact: the only reason why Michael became defense attorney is because Albert suggested it so he could challenge him and argue in#<- the courtroom and he say alright bet and starts learn law stuff. but that never happened as their relationship became sour during Albert#<- wanting to take over the Professor case. Michael have a nag feeling that Ryuuki is not the culprit and they had a fight over it.#fun fact relating to last one: one year later Michael moved in to France as he also got threats and being followed by underlings of#<- defendants that died by the Grim Reaper just because he is related to Albert#this is the longest thing I've ever written about this au so i want to say thank you for reading all of this rambling 💖
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"Drive safely."
LAWS OF ATTRACTION (2023)
#laws of attraction#laws of attraction the series#charntinn#tinncharn#jamfilm#film thanapat#jam rachata#mine*#loaedit#bledit#the way tinn visibly works up the courage to say something and then immediately back tracks#how despite charn having been flirting with him since the first second and they had a genuine Moment but a few hours ago at most#he is still such a school boy with a crush trying to play it cool when he is the one taking initiative#and god how delighted and fully charmed charn is by him and his awkwardness#and the endless lingering stares as tinn moves to go when he actually really doesn't want to go#im so obsessed with everything about them#theres absolutely no reason for this gifset ot be this long but i just really love all their nuances here#especially tinns bc we've seen so little of it around charn until this episode but look at his little face!!#give him a reason to stay charn!!
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Was only going to draw one thing today but Coraline AU Strilondes called to me
#Strilonde kids can never have a good family life even with the “perfect guardians”#Listen I need to talk about this ok#So if Dave and Rose went through together right#Dave would absolutely want to stay#Rose would act suspicious but she also absolutely wants to stay#And even when things start getting iffy they'd find ways to justify it since. Well. Previous abuse and neglect#I feel like they'd only go back because even though these guardians are “better” they miss their old ones in a weird fucked up way#Also#I wanted Bro to take the place as the Other Mother since that'd mean#Since the Other Father turned into a pumpkin#Other Mom Lalonde could actually be a puppet#They strife to escape by the way#Jegbert can be Wybie#Jaspers is the cat. Obviously#sketch#homestuck#coraline#bro strider#homestuck bro#bro homestuck#mom lalonde#There's only one tag for her??#roxy lalonde#homestuck roxy#By the way the reason Mom Lalonde's hair isn't as curly as Roxy's is because she straightens it#Go back!! Go back to your curls!!#Hal.art#🕶🔌#Bro has no scars because in a perfect world he never had to get hurt or strife or whatever#He still has the irony but in a healthier way
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Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel
Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!
This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.
If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.
If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -
Then go ahead and feel free to:
Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings
and click the Read More below!
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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....
For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon
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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.
The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like
Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.
He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.
Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.
He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable.
He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.
Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.
Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.
Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.
Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.
So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.
There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.
After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.
They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.
He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.
I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.
But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.
The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.
@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow
#Domon Kasshu/Chibodee Crocket#Royal Flush#Chibodee Crocket/Domon Kasshu#Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU#mobile fighter g gundam#I imagine he hasn't had time for a Big Gay Crisis yet but the time is absolutely now#Kyoji absolutely helps him through this crisis because he had a normal environment and university to figure his own shit out.#Kyoji has to figure out WHY Domon is imploding and explosive and avoiding everyone a second time though.#This doesn't seem related to the Divorce but it doesn't seem immediately obvious either. 🤔#Cue Schwarz FINALLY getting a fucking break and immediately coming to stay with Rain and Kyoji at their place.#Domon was aware that they had been living together in Neo Japan briefly before Schwarz was called back to Neo Germany for questioning#Once his rank was stripped of him he was back with Kyoji for a short period before the Divorce as part of Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu's study of#DG Cells. Once they had a breakthrough - Schwarz was sent abroad with a small military group and Doctors Without Borders group to assist#With immediate infection cases on behalf of Neo Japan as part of reparations. So Domon hadn't seen him in quite some time.#Domon certainly wasn't expecting to see him in the garden when he rounded the corner of the Mikamura residence#Leaned over Kyoji who appears to have been working outside on his laptop. Fingers intertwined a hand on Kyojis jaw and locked in a kiss.#Which ends pretty much instantly as they sense Domon and break apart. It occurs to Kyoji and Schwarz that Kyoji never#Got the chance to actually tell Domon much about himself and the man he'd grown into while Domon was training in Hong Kong with Master Asia#This might be a pretty significant shock to him.#I can't decide between Domon running from his Gay Revelation or IMMEDIATELY Losing His Shit at the thought of Rain's SECOND marriage ending#And knowing for sure now the reason why his and Rain's marriage didn't work out. He really does prefer men.#Bu HOW DARE Kyoji do this to her!!! She's been through enough!!!! This will HURT her SO BADLY!!! (Projection of guiiillllttt)#Back to square 1 fir a moment like damn#And once he starts fighting Kyoji about it (Thank God the ressurection gave them the option to make Kyojis new build similar to Schwarz's)#It comes out that Rain cant go through this AGAIN and he won't let him do this to her! Her honor means something to Domon#And it should mean something to Kyoji too as HER HUSBAND#Kyoji and Schwarz catch on the Again bit and Kyoji makes it clear that Rain has known about his situation with Schwarz since they returned#That they're quite literally inseparable and that Rain married him knowing this. She's fully aware and an active participant.#Domon takes a leg sweep and doesn't quite make his recovery as Schwarz steps in#Pinning his arms and one leg in place so he can't run from Kyojis question. Kyoji grabs Domon's hair to turn his head and asks
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ah yes, she's concerned about the aggressor and attacker who was invading them six months ago. something is wrong with the empire right now, poor edelgard; whatever could've happened to her? :(
like... what. why do you care about what's going on with her specifically when she's the person who made the decision to invade leicester? does the whole war just mean nothing to marianne? it's just totally fine that all those people died in a war edelgard started? poor edelgard, something happened to her after she started her attack? you're concerned about the leader who gave the order to attack your home?
hopes has stupid lines but this one is top tier of the top tier and just an excuse for more edelgardjerking from the writers.
#DCB Three Hopes Run#like no sorry if someone attacked the country i live in and then suddenly their army was a mess#i would /nooot/ be concerned about the leader who ordered an invasion of my home#you'd never see a character being like wow i sure am worried abt dimitri and claude#who are just defending themselves and fighting for their lives out there#but here we get marianne being worried abt the person who declared war on her people#this game tries so so SO hard to make edelgard seem justified and doing a good thing#and also has tons of characters being like wow i sure do just want the best for her#like no i would not want the best for someone who invaded my country unprovoked#being worried abt the civilians in the empire is one thing bc the imperial army was out of control#but just wanting edelgard specifically to be okay? uhhhh. seems like this was just#the only way the writers could keep it in their pants without having shez make a sex joke at edelgard like byleth can#like does marianne not realize the end goal here was to defeat and thus kill edelgard?#it doesn't happen bc of the plot bc thales' magic and yadda yadda#but ultimately without that happening she would've had to be killed to be truly defeated#she's not like claude who would prioritize survival. she would fight to the end#like if you're that concerned about the person who started this war then why are you fighting against her?#either join her side or stay out of the war. really don't understand why anyone from leicester in ag would be worried abt her#they can't even use the classmates excuse bc they weren't even classmates for that long (and it's a stupid excuse even in gw)#but like no rly this game just has ppl love up on edelgard for absolutely no reason#she comes in and starts killing their soldiers for her conquest and marianne six months later is like wow i sure am concerned abt her!!#literally like imagine someone from crimea being like ''im concerned abt ashnard''
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Donald Sutherland guest stars as the appropriately named Philip Guest, a less appropriately unbalanced kidnapper, in Gideon's Way: The Millionaire's Daughter (1.21, ITC, 1966)
#donald sutherland#fave spotting#gideon's way#the millionaire's daughter#1966#itc#classic tv#:(#I've had this rattling around in my drafts‚ with a whole heap of other Gideon's Way posts‚ for months now#just waiting for me to get around to tagging them and getting a few final quotes etc (moving abroad did not help in that regard)#a sad reason to be dragging this out from drafts but it felt fitting somehow to mark Don's passing with one of his earliest and#most obscure roles. anyone who has followed my fave spottings at all (follow the tag for more early Sutherland) will know i have always#championed Donald's status as surely the most successful rentayank on the scene; they were an (unofficial) group of actors‚ mostly from#Australia or (like Don) Canada‚ who'd moved to the UK for work and found themselves filling just about any American role on classic tv or#in minor Brit films. Don was far from the most prolific‚ spending just a few years in the uk where others (eg Paul Maxwell‚ Shane Rimmer#Charles Tingwell and more) ended up staying for most of their long careers. but Don did the rounds‚ turning up in shows like this and#The Avengers‚ The Saint and The Champions. he even managed to fit in a couple of films‚ including Hammer's Die Die My#Darling (aka Fanatic) and the wonderful Dr Terror's House of Horrors for Amicus. then it was on to bigger and better things...#i can't think of many legitimate Hollywood leading men (and he absolutely was that) to show such incredible range#to work so diversely across genre and across style and to jump so readily from trashy blockbuster fare to genuine art film#in many ways he was a jobbing character actor somehow caught in the career of a full blown movie star; those films were all the better#for that fact and for his sheer dedication to his craft‚ to having fun‚ to doing the kind of stuff he wanted to do#truly a one off. we don't get many Donald Sutherlands. we should cherish the ones that we do#rip
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I’m reading the scripts for Yes Minister for attempted political inspiration and can’t stop imagining the culture shock of Tommy’s first few months in office.
#Weeping with horrified laughter but anyway#I don’t think he was ever given a portfolio in his first election tho when labour was in power#then after what had to have been his second election (labour no longer in power if my timing is right) he was deputy whip-#-so probably dodged a portfolio. That said given he was in America as part of a trade delegation#I have theorised he had some kind of shadow-economic portfolio after his second election because#deputy whips stay home they don’t go overseas. Unless he bullied his way into the delegation as a cover reason to be in the US-#-either bcos of the amount of trade/manufacture/the BSA in his constituency or as an SME advisory role due-#-to his business acumen.#this is the bullshit that occupies my mind I could be thinking of sodomy but instead I’m thinking of organisational logistics#Anyway if Tommy took an economic or trade portfolio the conflict of interest given the number of govn contracts he then ‘bought’ via his-#-holding companies should see that man in prison for decades; decades I tell you; the horror of what he has done#/tongue in cheek#Mannnnn the newspaper articles about him must have been so absolutely vile#I’ve always writ him as being madly triggered by reporters and think it all prob circles back to the absolute slagging he would’ve got-#-in right leaning newspapers. his baptism of fire in print and then the de-balling by civil servants. And pederast ministers hire him like-#-some lackey. Terrible idea politics.
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To both HLVRV fans and Fallen London fans, I am so, so sorry for what I've drawn completely unrelated correlations to. (I'm lying I regret nothing.)
#So#99% of The Merry Gentleman's design here is absolutely noncanon.#But I realized while drawing them that the “making them taller than my literal tallest character—#that ISN'T a sort of eldritch entity from space that I associate with cyan/blue#(Not G-Bitch)#—and giving them weird ominous fog that ever constantly follows them#and the fact that I gave these idiots heels#[This is where headcanon starts kicking in‚ bewarned]#aaand the fact that they would chase you across an entire city if only for dream related reasons#(Thanks Chnle for the senario of Sleepless chasing Hypnos across several streets because I stayed up late and refused to go back to sleep)#(Several crimes and annoyed shouts of grievances that the other was being stubborn had dawned that night.)#And about the first point:#I once misread a post Mothr o made for SL being taller than literally everyone(including other G-Man) but G-Bitch/GVRV at some point.#I thought it was too funny to take back—#Have I mentioned that I loved both(ish) while they were shadow-y then disliked them slightly after they reveal themselves?#Have I mentioned that I still fucking despise May?#But he's fun to draw like this unfortunately.#Have I mentioned I have several scenarios I could've drawn to correlate these two more obviously but I feel asleep before it?#HLVRV#Fallen London#HLVRV Dr Sleepless#The Merry Gentleman#The Manager of the Royal Bethlehem Hotel#I think.#I have more doodles I've forgotten to post but I thought this one most urgent. Especially since HLVRAI has my mind at gunpoint now.#Most are FL OC posting. And approximately ONE doodle of HLVRV Doc (It may increase in amount.)
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so that finale huh.
#ted lasso spoilers#ITS..... NOT GOOD... NOT BAD EITHER.... its a finale alright#i understood why he had to go back to his son i knew he couldnt stay in london forever but oh my fucking god what the fuck was that .......#probably absolute horseshit take incoming but oh my goddddd just the whole thing with jamie and his dad and beard and jane what. what#its a show about bad fathers and forgiveness yeah and people can change but that doesnt excuse all the terrible things theyve done to you#before that...#IDK I CANT PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO WORDS RN IM JUST SO. SO BAFFLED?#there were alot of scenes i loved dearly like the singing and colin finally being able to kiss his fella or the video scene but it all felt#so so so rushed for some reason??#i have so much more to say about this rip mail for getting the brunt of my insane ramblings on dc IM SORRY AHJGKVJHAGDF#BUT IDK??? spare some thoughts? talk to me about it. send an ask or reply idfk i wanna hear people's thoughts on it#i know ted must be happy to be with his son again and we just. dont know what his life is like back in kansas so. scratches head#not art#pn.txt#its 1am.. ill probably come back to this later to add more thoughts IDK
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I wish I could put you all in my head for like 5 minutes so you can absorb all of my thoughts and feelings on iovita's gender and then I could pull you back out and we could both nod and shake hands
#⌜❝ 𝚃𝙱𝙳. so long. good luck. goodbye. ❞ ⌟#I am only saying this because I have the WORST time articulating it and I LIKE to talk about it#but it's a (mostly) direct reflection of my own and my feelings on that involve a lot of wordless noises and vague gesturing#and informing you that certain things make me feel like a deep dark disgusting pit has opened in my chest blah blah blah#if you stay in there just a little longer I could show you the animations I make up in my head to certain songs?#and then we could nod and shake hands again etc etc#idk I just!#io................#io is.#that's it ig#they sway towards feminine descriptors for themself a lot because it's an 'opposite' to an outside perspective#[which is an opposite of how I do it. I like to pick masculine descriptors for myself for the same reason]#feminine descriptors and a masculine clothing style and full makeup makes the brain go brrr#and it's their default u know#but io will absolutely play it more feminine clothing/style wise sometimes in a way that still shows /something/ masculine about themself#the way they sit/stand/act/reveal#io plays with gender like it's sculpting clay#but they genuinely just#don't want to be anything#yknow?#me and io shaking hands about desiring just Not Existing. Actually. but still existing#not perception no body just The Person#RAHHHHH this is why I need to be able to put u all in my brain rq#anyway. had a gender crisis myself this evening. how are we doin#do i tag this#what do i tag this#ask to tag#?#i also think that io's relationship with gender is very human and also very inhuman together#because they at their core aren't really human. but the humanity of it. is important.
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I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.
#it will stay contained to art too it's not something I'd ever write#like I know absolutely nothing about this au of mine but I'm obsessed with it all the same#like I learn something new about it every time I've drawn something#I don't draw a lot for it yall have seen everything I've done and it's usually just a drawing of alexis cuz I love her design lol#but like I'm doing panels for it rn right? and like it's just coming together like the story of what's happening atm#and that's like the only story there actually is rn but it's just falling into place#so I can actually make something of substamce out of this tiny concept I had for a drawing I wanted to try because I had an itch and it grew#that doesn't really happen to me anymore like I haven't felt a spark like that since I wrote OUAD#nothing I've written since has felt the same#and like I said this isn't something I would write into a fic or anything it would just be too much but it's really everything to me rn#something I can come back to and dip my toe in whenever I really feel like I need a spark again and it just makes me happy#I grew up with 4kids winx club so another reason I'd never write anything for real is because I refuse to watch any other version#like I've tried I just can't do it my mind rejects any other version so I only know the universe to a point anyway and but that was my thin#it made me so happy as a kid and it still does now like those are my girls and they mean the world to me and being able to play#within that space with other characters I'm obsessed with and combine into something that miraculously works is amazing#I need to draw more stuff for this au I guess is my whole point#I need to see what other things can..... bloom....... (heh) within that space and what will just manifest before me#I need that something to make me feel that spark again because I don't want to lose it forever and I think I'm starting to find it again#life has just been knocking down over and over lately and it's destroyed so much of my mental state and honestly randomly deciding to try#and actually draw actual stuff for this au has been so healing. I almost feel lighter#it feels stupid amd silly to say but it's true#abby's just rambling don't mind her
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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Your girl calling me Abraham the way I stay sacrificing my children to her
#Me penisless: what if I made a joke based on having a penis balls and sperm#'Me penisless' has become my favorite way to start sentences now#but yea I haven't been very active here in making my own original posts#cause I've been mostly working thru shit with my abusive ex in therapy#and some of it is religious/spiritually based but most of the current stuff isn't#the main reason I stayed so long was the idea of the marital due and the fact it was drilled into me that I was at fault for any break ups#I also lived at home with my bio family still so I couldn't talk about it and get feedback I needed to get out yet#they'd prob blame the premarital sex and queerness#so yea that's been on my mind#uh gay ppl real I helped with a drag show and it was incredible#there was a queen who did a fire show#and I love all of the performers they're all so sweet#If any of you have heard of the Les Vixens I'm in love with the leader of that group she's so sweet#and absolutely stunning#she stood over me and had light behind her I thought I was seeing an angel irl#I just love it when women#ex christian#religious trauma
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i keep trying to want to play starfield but the main plot has so profoundly failed to convince me to buy into it. and im not a guy who needs a lot of convincing.
#skyrim: dragons are back and they will kill people if you dont do something!#me: got it. i care about this plot. that is a clear danger.#fallout 4: the world ended and your baby was kidnapped! go find him!!#me: yes absolutely. that is something i can easily imagine my character as motivated to do. i want to protect this baby.#starfield: euuuuugh uh. you touched a rock and saw stars. fly across the galaxy and join this group of explorers now.#me: w. why?? it isnt like im suffering any ill effects from touching the rock so they cant help me. i dont care abt exploring the universe#i havent been GIVEN a reason to care. theres no stakes. im just being told to do something. fallout 3 had the same issue.#except at least in fallout 3 its your fake dad and i can imagine my character caring about him.#in starfield it is literally just being told what to do and being given no reason for doing it. and this is supposed to be a game#about exploration. yet the player isnt given any autonomy or anything.#its not even like barrett is like 'i have to stay here can you please go TELL constellation about this rock'#its. nope you have to join them and do what they say. why? fuck you.#i want to like it i really do but. god.#carly.txt
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