#So you can consider it non-canon he has pink hair it has been decided! Lol

[sysig]

Sleep tight <3 (Patreon)

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[shortythescreen]

Warning(s): NSFT/18+. Vaginal sex, semi exhibitionism? Corny porn plot. 

Pairing(s): Crypto/Wattson. 

Author’s Note(s): A commission for my lovely @dargonwolfeh! Had so much fun writing this continuation of their fic. My first ever fic with two canon characters together! Someone pinch me lol. 

On paper, Crypto and Natalie are not living together.

They could file for it if they chose to. Could go the Apex Execs and tell them they needed one less suite. It might be the smart thing to do, considering Natalie never spends time in her own apartment anymore. Crypto’s hesitant to share his business with others, though. Especially the people he’s hellbent on taking down. Especially since the marketing team would surely publicize them as ‘star crossed lovers’ should they ever be placed on different squads in the arena.

So, they say nothing, even though everyone knows they live together. Everyone knows they’re a couple. Even if they themselves haven’t quite realized just how deep they’ve sunken.

Until now, anyway.

Crypto stares into his medicine cabinet, hand frozen on the little handle attached to the mirror. He’s not very particular about grooming himself. Mila Someone he knew before taught him that he needed to use a different soap for his face than he did his body and that’s… about the extent of his self-maintenance. He’s bought the same shaving cream, the same 2-in-1 hair and body soap, and the same face wash for… years.

Therefore, the bubblegum pink moisturizer tucked neatly against his shaving cream is definitely not his. Neither is the ‘normal to dry’ face wash, or the gummy women’s multivitamins. As a matter of fact, now that he looks at it more closely, a majority of the things in his medicine cabinet don’t belong to him. Awhile ago, he might have been bothered by that, but now…

The front door of his apartment swings open and shut and he doesn’t panic. Doesn���t think it’s the syndicate, come to arrest him because they know who he really is. He knows who just got home, who’s blabbing on the phone.

“Non, Octavio, not like that!” Natalie says. Crypto closes the cabinet, forgetting why he opened it the first place. When he sees his reflection, the dark dusting of stubble beginning on his jaw and his upper lip, he remembers. He decides he’ll say hello to his girlfriend before he takes care of that.

He takes a step away from the bathroom counter, peering out the open door of the bathroom. Natalie is shrugging out of her coat, holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear, the opposite hand cupping it to make sure it doesn’t slide as she strips out of her day clothes. Her sunny hair tumbles out of its hood as she does, the short locks brushing just beneath her ears, and his lips twitch up at the sight of it.

She turns and beams as she sees him. She finishes hanging up her coat, tossing it carelessly over the rack and lifting her head, holding one arm out to him. Shirtless, Crypto exits the bathroom, looping an arm across her shoulder blades to tug her close. He kisses her forehead in greeting.

“Salut, mon amour,” she mouths up at him. The grin fades from her features and her eyes turn towards the chatter coming from her phone. “Okay, well, that means you didn’t plug it in to the right port.”

Crypto loudly snorts, making Natalie press her lips together to hide a laugh. She presses a finger to her lips, silently shushing him. Those pretty blue eyes flicker over his chest, over the dark line of hair on his lower belly. He smirks at her, reaching up to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, the rest of it falling over his knuckles.

The tips of his fingers dance down the side of her throat and Natalie shudders. She takes a step away, trying to put some distance between them.

Their match from last week flashes through his mind. She certainly hadn’t backed off him while he was trying to talk to Ajay. They were very lucky that she was distracted by the match – or that she was willing to turn a blind eye to their shenanigans. Though his expression stays neutral, Crypto snatches Natalie’s hips, pulling her close.

“Y-You’re working with an older model, Octavio, it’s not going to go as quickly as the newer one,” says Natalie, the little stutter at the beginning of her sentence making him quietly smirk. He dives down, licking a stripe up the same place his fingers were, and she shivers against him.

“If you want it to work, you have to have patience,” she continues as Crypto traces the band of her pants, all the way to the back. The prominent curve of her ass feels perfect in his palms and he squeezes, tugging at the stretch waist she wears.

Natalie always has a problem finding pants that fit. Her ass isn’t proportionate to her waist, sticking out further than any smaller size jeans would allow. She likes the stretchy ones for that reason and he’s grateful for that now, snapping the elastic band against her.

Natalie squeaks and Crypto backs her up, against the couch. Their legs knock as they move but when she finally hits the cushions, she falls into them with a plop. Her dark eyes twist up to him and, oh, for all she seems so sweet, he knows that look.

“Non, mon amie, I’m fine,” Natalie suddenly breathes, remembering Octavio is on the line. Her throat flexes and Crypto smirks, palming the bulge in his sweatpants. Her eyes blink to his crotch then back up to him, like she’s waiting for him to make a move. He has every intention to. “Uh-huh. Okay, well, let’s try this again.”

Crypto reaches down, manhandling her onto her knees. She hangs onto the back of the sofa with one hand, clutching her phone with white knuckles in the other. He grips those stretch pants, pulling them slowly down, and biting his lip at the way they stretch over that juicy round ass of hers. Natalie likes boxer briefs, especially ones with interesting patterns. Today, the underwear has bananas as they design, peeled or otherwise. The innuendo isn’t lost on Crypto and he snorts. Natalie glances over her shoulder with a sneaky grin.

“Cheeky,” he says, tugging those briefs down. Her pussy is perfect, pink and open and waiting for him, surrounded by golden curls, and Crypto’s mouth waters. She shivers as cool air caresses her and he’s right behind it, spitting onto two of his fingers. He holds her open with his opposite hand, fingers sinking into the pillowy flesh of her ass, spit dripping onto the couch as he presses his wet fingers against her.

“T-Then you just-” Natalie begins, and he can’t see her face, but the little hitch of her breath tells him all he needs to know as he pushes his fingers past her outer lips. They clutch her clit on either side, and he sees the muscles in her lower back clench. “Just plugitin.”

She chances a look over her shoulder once again and Crypto smirks. She’s so eager already, so ready to be fucked. He doesn’t have nearly as wild of a sex drive at Natalie – had to remind her during the first few times that foreplay’s important, that having her soaked and wet and trembling made it easier for him to fuck her to pieces. He’s tempted to remind her again, but he can already feel her cunt lubing up his fingers with every stroke of them against her. He should have known she was a little bit of an exhibitionist, sought a little thrill after she sucked the soul out of his dick in the arena.

Crypto pushes one finger up to the knuckle inside her and she squirms, clearly wanting more. He watches her, waiting.

“Oui, you put in the password? And it’s-” Her jaw drops as he slides a second finger in on one of his thrusts, stretching that sweet cunt. It hugs his fingers beautifully and the thought of having it on his dick instead makes Crypto bite his lower lip. Natalie thrusts her ass back into his palm, always greedy, always hungry for more. She’s so used to being on top, to riding him, fucking him open, and he can feel her trying to take control even though she’s the one vulnerable here. “I-It’s still not working?”

Her head drops as he pulls his fingers out, only tugging his sweats down low enough to free his cock. He slides his wet fingers up and down the length of it, before raising the same palm to spit in it once more. Natalie’s been like a bunny recently and Crypto thinks he should have had the foresight to hide some lune underneath the couch.

He didn’t, though, so he pumps himself, biting his lower lip, waiting until he can hear his fist moving along his shaft, until it sounds wet and sticky. He rolls back the foreskin, pressing the blunt head to her weeping hole. Natalie tenses all over and he peers up at the back of her head, waiting. When he doesn’t move, her head snaps towards him, and she gives him a glare that could turn blood cold. He chuckles, obliging her with a slow roll of his hips, seating his cock inside her.

Natalie bites her lower lip, hard, and he knows he’ll be able to see the indentation of her teeth in the pink skin later. He doesn’t care though, pulling her back onto his cock, careful not to clap his hips against her ass, even though he wants to.

“Octavio, listen, I-I just got home.” Lie. Crypto would smirk if he weren’t so entranced by the hot, velvety heat of her. She starts fucking herself onto his cock, hips driving back, and Crypto leans back, watching her work. “I will come and take a look later.”

She rests her forehead against her clenched fist, thighs scooting apart, giving her a wider range of motion. Her cunt makes white, creamy streaks on his dick and Crypto bites his tongue, driving forward. Natalie slams her fist against the back of the couch as he piledrives into her cunt, the blunt tip hitting that spot that he knows makes her see starts. “Oui! Ouiouioui, okay, au revoir!”

She tries to push herself up onto her forearms, tapping desperately at the end button on her phone. When it finally beeps, signifying Octavio can no longer hear her, she groans, low, and loud, and long, and the noise goes straight to Crypto’s dick. He mouths at her shoulder, moaning himself, grinding his cock hard and fast into her cunt.

“Crypto!” She gasps. He hooks an arm around her torso, grappling with one of her breasts through her top. She slips the hand that had been holding her phone down, feeling where they’re connecting. The noise he makes isn’t human, the fat of her ass quivering with every clap of his hips against hers.

She drags those fingers up, toying with her clit as he pinches a nipple through her top, and she moans something like his name. When he glances down, he sees sweat pulling in the small of her back and he sighs, biting her shoulder. He sinks himself down to the base and grinds his cock down, against that spongy spot he found with his fingers earlier. Her voice grows higher in pitch, fingers frantically moving on her clit, and Crypto shudders, closer, close, fuck, he’s so close-

“Crypto!” She yelps and without warning, her cunt constricts around him. His jaw drops, the scorching heat of her closing in. He thrusts his hips forward once, twice, before suddenly pulling out, grabbing his cock – fucking soaked, still attached to her cunt by a sticky trail – and jerks it frantically. He throws his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he cums onto the globes of her ass.

They’re both panting, trying to catch their breaths. Her blonde hair somehow looks crazy, even though he hadn’t fucked with it the whole time she was on the phone. She looks over her shoulder at him, beautiful, gorgeous pink lips parted to suck in breaths of air.

“You… are mean,” she groans, flopping onto the couch. Crypto snorts, smirking at her.

“Karma is mean,” he says, nudging her over on the couch with a knee. He knows they’ll regret it later, that his spunk is smearing all over the cushions, but she looks so perfect, so fucked out. He squishes her into the couch, joining her.

“You liked what I did in the ring,” whines Natalie.

“And you didn’t like what I did just now?”

“That’s not what I said, mon amour,” she grumbles, turning to nuzzle into his chest. Crypto kisses the top of her head, looping an arm around her, and reaching up to ignore her phone as it starts to ring again.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Twenty-Nine: A Bottle of ___ ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, alcohol, pregnancy ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

This, he thinks, is exactly what they’ve been needing. He can’t even remember the last time either of them took any time off, let alone together...or for more than a day or two. A vacation, Sasuke decides, is more than in order for the pair of them.

They work hard, after all. Sasuke’s climbing position in his father’s tech company means a full schedule and heavy responsibility...even more so considering the pressure of a father to a son to do well. Sure, Itachi might bear the brunt of those expectations, but that doesn’t mean Sasuke gets it easy. More than once, the brothers have spent an evening commiserating their aching shoulders from all the weight Fugaku places on them.

Not to say that Hinata has it much easier. Many might think that a kindergarten teacher surely can’t have it all that bad. But wrangling all of those kids, shaping them up for starting elementary school...it isn’t easy! She’s on her feet most of the day, having to keep her attention sharp to ensure no one gets into any mischief. Practically every night, she gets home and collapses atop the couch to give her feet a rest and take a few to just...recharge.

So, when they both have some time off (Hinata’s summer break having intermittent training and other events), Sasuke turns in some of his vacation days...and they decide to head out of town for a week.

“...where should we go?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Well you’re going too, you should have a say!”

Chin in his hand, Sasuke just gives Hinata a tired smile. “I’ll be happy wherever we go, so long as it’s not here, with me working. Throw out some ideas.”

Cheeks a bit puffed as she pouts, Hinata slowly relaxes, giving that some thought. “We could...go to the coast…?”

“That’d be nice.”

“Or, um...there’s that national park a bit north from here, right?”

“We could go hiking, sightseeing.”

“...I don’t know! I’m not good at making decisions...there’s lots of fun places!”

“I think the coast sounds good. There’s that big port city, we could stay there for a few days and see the night life...then find a smaller town with some beaches to relax at.”

She mulls that over. “...okay.”

It’s about a day’s drive to their destination. The previous evening is spent packing everything up, and come morning they arrange everything into their SUV.

“All right...is that all of it?”

“I think so!” Hinata, ever the prepared one, wields a clipboard with a complete list. “All that’s left is snacks and drinks for the cockpit!” she grins.

Sasuke chuckles. “Can’t go without those,” is his agreement, shutting the rear door and helping arrange the front two seats. They’ll have to make pit stops, of course...but otherwise, they’re as prepared as they can be.

“Comfy travel clothes...check. Snacks and drinks...check. GPS...check. Music playlist...check!” Hinata makes little tick marks on her board. “...I think we’re all good to go!”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

On revs the engine, out of the driveway they pull...and within ten minutes, they leave the little suburb behind, coasting on the freeway to the coast.

The morning passes in a blur of music and staring at the scenery, broken by one bathroom break. Come noon they stop for lunch, and another break for a bathroom comes in the middle of the afternoon. Then, just as the sun starts setting, the city welcomes them into its streets.

Its very...crowded streets.

It takes nearly half an hour to actually reach their hotel. By then, the pair of them are too tired to go out for dinner like they’d been planning.

“We’ll just...do that tomorrow,” Sasuke announces, collapsing atop the room’s bed with a sigh.

“Yeah...good idea. I’m pooped. Why is just sitting in a car so exhausting?”

“Good question.” He slings an arm over his eyes. “...I think we’ll just do some room service and watch some TV.”

Hinata gives a tired smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

After a bit of a restless night, the pair wake and take the next day to do some sightseeing, touring recommended places. Their own city is relatively small, so the skyscrapers and crowds are quite the change. Hinata drags Sasuke all over the place, the one excitedly narrating their travels as they go with her little guidebooks.

Sasuke just follows along leisurely, happy to see her happy.

That night they dine out, dressing up a bit for a place a little on the fancier side. Even then, they both stick to the cheaper sides of the menu, laughing at their frugal natures.

Three days pass in similar fashion before they pack up again, leaving the city behind for a smaller town with well-known beaches. It’s...a bit crowded, but they don’t mind too much. Most of the time they devote to the actual sandy shores is in the evening just to walk and watch the sun set, anyway.

Here, it’s far more peaceful. Still with its fair share of people, but nothing like the city they left behind. By the last night before they have before they leave, Hinata finds herself sighing wistfully.

“...we’ll have to do this again next year,” she murmurs, the pair of them sitting on the little balcony hanging off their room. “I already miss it…”

“We can do that,” Sasuke agrees, walking out of the room with a bottle and two glasses in his hand. “Thought we’d end things on a good note, hm?”

Glancing over, Hinata stiffens just a hair. “...um...is that -?”

“A little local wine - picked it up when we stopped by that gift place.”

“I...I think I’ll pass.”

Just about to start opening it, he looks to her curiously. “...why?”

“I just, um...I don’t really feel like...drinking.”

A brow perks. Sure, Hinata’s not exactly a heavy drinker. He isn’t either. But she has the occasional glass of wine. “...you feeling all right?”

Looking off to one side a bit awkwardly, she goes slightly pink in the cheeks. “Y...yes.”

“...you’re acting funny.”

He’s always so blunt… Glancing over, she tries to figure out how to explain. “I...just don’t think it’s a good, um...idea.”

“It’s not like you’ll still be tipsy in the morning, Hinata. Besides, I’m the one driving.”

“That...that’s not…”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“It...it wouldn’t be good for...um…” She trails off, mumbling.

Sasuke heaves a curt sigh. “What?”

“The...t-the ba...by…”

“Ba…?” Dark eyes blink...and then slowly widen as his face goes slack. “Y...you…?”

Flustered and blushed, Hinata tries to meet his eyes. “I...I was going to tell you when w-we got home, but -”

Setting the bottle aside, he shifts in his chair, taking her upper arms. “...you’re serious?”

“Of c-course I’m serious! I wouldn’t joke about -!”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Y...yes.”

A long moment passes where he searches her face...and then he breaks into the widest grin she’s ever seen on his face. “...you’re pregnant!”

Relieved, she laughs. “Y-yes!”

“We’re...we’re gonna be parents…”

“Yes, we are.”

Still grinning, tears bead along his lids. “...Hinata, I...I’m so…!”

Softening with tears of her own, she catches him as he sinks against her, the pair of them caught between laughing and crying. True, they haven’t exactly been trying, but...it’s been on their minds for a while now. And now…!

Eventually he pulls back, raw emotion plain on his face for once. “...well, I...I guess we’ll have to save that bottle of wine,” he laughs, a palm rubbing at his cheeks.

“We’ll celebrate with it later. And next year...we’ll all three get to go to the beach.”

“...yeah…!”

                                                          .oOo.

     Okay...this was super fun to write xD Sasuke geeking out about being a dad (in ANY verse) is one of my favorite things. Especially in non-canon verses where he can be a bit more open about it. He’s rather...paranoid in the canon verse I write, ahaha~      But yes, Hinata is being responsible - no wine for the soon-to-be mama! She appreciates the gesture Sasuke, but that’s a no-no x3 Kinda sad that the warnings give away the ending a bit, but...well, can’t go without warnings lol      Anyway, that’s all for tonight! Thanks for reading~

[theinsanecrayonbox]

the great FOP review mega dump

ok so apparently the rest of s10 was aired at the end of June through July of this year. now granted, i do not get NickToons and used a friend’s DVR to record it, so there’s a margin for error, but i don’t recall any of these episodes ever getting recorded. i could be wrong, my memory sucks, BUT TVGuide is stupid and has a habit of putting the wrong names/numbers on things and if the guide doesn’t list the episode as new because half of it already aired, then it wouldn’t get recorded. so again, huge margin for error.

basically, i hadn’t posted these yet because i didn’t realize they’d aired; i was trying to avoid spoiling anything for people. Nick sucks at their programming schedule. these first viewing reviews are nearly a year old in some cases, since it was about a year ago that i was given links to watch some of these online after they’d aired in other countries. so yeah, probably a little dated, might not hold up, but here they are so we can be done with this.

Which is Wish:

 Chloe is a vegetarian??? Has this been said before??

 I feel like everything in the garage there was in the attic when Dad made Timmy clean that out before…not that that isn’t plausible, since that’d be one way to “clean” the attic lol. Just thought it was a neat commentary.

 But yes Chloe, unleash your organizational skills. Color coded labels are awesome! Cleaning sucks, but labels lol

 And yes, switching bodies always works so well doesn’t it Timmy…but heehee he called Chloe pretty XD though in fairness…doesn’t this mean Chloe is still eating the meat, because Tim’s in her body…or do they just *look* like one another? See, that’s the gray area…

 Ok I do not like all these moments of Dad seeing Cosmo and Wanda; they’re glossed over yes, but still. That should break Da Rules though, because they’ve been revealed (not to mention Crocker knows about them a million times over I know). it just seems like a cheap gag that they don’t need, and it’s annoying.

 “Chlimmy Turnermicheal” lol, I need to draw a fusion of my Opals now XD;;;

 Ok yes, they’ve body swapped, not glamoured, so Chloe *did* eat the meat after all, thank you for explaining that

 Seriously, it’s Cosmo loosing the wands (for the umpteenth time) that is going to cause the problems here -.-

 Yay more Chloe parents! They aren’t 1 or 2 offs! Though…why were they absent up until this point? Did they decide to take a sabbatical from work after the booby incident? That’d be nice

 OMR Danny, Vlad (wait nasty Dan? Hu oh well), and Dudley puppets. That is too cute for words!!

 And a Little Shop joke. Eeeeeeee!!! I know they’ve done man-eating plants before, but still!

 Chloe’s dad faints at failure? Hm, that could be useful.

 Tim admitting he’d miss Chloe is sweet, especially since it wasn’t with any mention of loosing his fairies

 Hahahaha dressing up as each other/themselves, that’s great. Cosmo’s head blowing up is getting old though.

 All in all I give this episode a huge A+. It is a cliché trope of a plot, but I feel it was executed really really well!! Nice balance of magical aspects with non-magical ones I thought, and gave development to both kids and their families.

Fairy Con:

 Ok first of all, I thought Fairy conventions were held every thousand years or so, and was actually just for the fairies. Granted, this “Fairy con” could be a different event OR they changed the event after Timmy’s bathroom one, since that could’ve been the first time a godchild was involved? Also, Timmy is you go “every year” that shows that this is at least 2 years after you got your fairies (because you had Cosmo Con, then assume one after that, then at minimum this one), so why are you still 10?????? (and don’t go saying “the time stopping wish in secret wish” because uhg)

 Crocker in the fridge….ok…but adding in Crocker to crash the Con…yeah this is a complete plot reusing of Cosmo Con, just updating it a bit

 Look Girlfriend the cat isn’t dead!!

 If you’ve had their hair samples for that long why haven’t you cloned them before?? But “off brand cloning machine” is sorta funny. Also, Kenny G? that a Spongebob shout out or not?

 Ok if it merged the cat DNA with the fairy why didn’t it merge the fairy DNA together too? Also, missed your mark to have a real “fairy cat” show up (though no Sparky so we don’t need it anymore I guess)

 Oh but Chloe’s enthusiasm over her first con, I am so happy at that ^^ I just had my first comic con, and I was spazzing like that too when I wasn’t freaking out over being ditched and lost.

 Ok that is yet ANOTHER unique birthday for Timmy. He’s up to what, 5 now since the series started? (Boys in the Band, Birthday Bashed, Birthday Battle, the one mentioned in Birthday Battle about the dinosaurs) the kid is at least 14 now, he has to be!

 I like all the backgrounders. Some look super squashed, but still neat.

 Tooth fairy returns! Yay! We had mentions of Cupid and Mother Nature before, so it’s nice to see the magical celebrities are still around and not forgotten.

 Ahhh! The return of the Crocker Pot which captures fairies!! Ok I am giving this writing team an A- on doing their lore homework because they are getting so many things right (though the Fairy Con being thrown off is still deducting points sorry)

 There was a blonde fairy that looked like Samantha in the background O.o

 “Chloe Carmichael, any normal person would give up right now. But you are NOT normal!” - omr Chloe I love you and your “never quit” song was good and humorous, I still love you

 Timmy how can you not know what Crocker is up to? He’s always up to the same exact thing. If he’s in Fairy World, I’m fairly sure there is a 1000% chance he’s there to capture fairies. Geeze.

 OMR Princess Morebucks was in the seats at Cosmo’s panel, I’m not joking.

 All in all, it wasn’t a giant impacting story, but it was a good one, even though it was a total reusing of a plot. I feel like the writing team did their homework pretty decently (for the most part). Plus, the magic of cons ^^

The Hungry Games:

 This is the B-Story to Fairy Con…interesting choice…more fangirl!Chloe…

 I love her “Katniss hair”, heck I just love seeing alternate hair on her

 Heh “Ketchup Everdream”, wow, ok, sure

 That might be the wrong movie, but it sounds interesting. What movie was that Cosmo?

 Aw Chloe lost…but yay call back to screaming in her closet

 Lol Crocker is once again, king of dystopian world. That is perfect. This is all perfect.  Maybe it’s because I liked the Hunger Games movie that I can thoroughly enjoy this parody, idk. But this is great. I am loving this episode.

 And cue the pointless Dad part…wait Mr Bickles?? Where have you been?? Why are you here???

 I like the blonde/pink haired backgrounder

 I really loved this episode! It was so nice how Timmy did this for Chloe and stuck with it even when it was bad for him, then she turns around and does something nice for him at the end. It let Chloe fly her freaky fangirl flag on so many levels. Like I said, I liked Hunger Games, so this was a great parody that was loads of fun. I really really enjoyed all of it.

 As a whole episode, these two really show us what a geeky girl Chloe is I think. She’s not just the over achieving little Ms Perfect she was at first, she’s got her weird hobbies and obsessions too. And the fact that she was so into Fair Bears AND dystopian doomy future really says a lot about her, and really speaks to me on many levels. It’s just solidified my love of Chloe even more.

Dimmsdale Daze:

 And we start off with jokes about barfing…well it is a roller coaster so I can let it slide…just don’t spiral out of control with them…

 Heehee “vines” joke, that’s great. Because it highlights their age AND that they are more naturalist

 Oooo Connie said “shyster”, that’s pretty borderline…

 Chaining yourself to the tree in town…wouldn’t that be the same tree that Tootie did the same thing to in the first live action movie? I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…

 Did Chloe’s middle name change? O.o but lol to the “when you’re a parent you can make the decisions” because I head canon them meddling after Chloe’s divorce, but I know that line is the plot fodder, so I’ll just push the head canons away for now

 Lookit that adult!Chloe though!! I’m not that far off the mark with my design (plus you know, there are several older!Timmy designs and none are more true than the other, so my older!Chloe being short and bustier is still plausible). And hey lookit! Cameo of the adult!Timmy from Big Problem AND confirmation that if one of the godkids breaks Da Rules they both loose the fairies TOGETHER

 Neither Clark nor Connie really look too much like Chloe as children (ok Connie *does* but when you consider they made child Dad look exactly like Timmy before, it’s not quite enough)…just another tick in my adopted column, just saying…

 Why did that child in the bounce house have lipstick O.o

 Chloe’s earring is like, in the wrong place and it’s bothering me…

 “But I have the mind if a child” “It’s true, he’s been tested” – I…wow, just…yes?

 And of course Connie and Clark get assigned Cosmo and Wanda, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming honestly ^^;;

 You know, even though this is sort of a rehash of Big Problem and The Switch Glitch I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Single mom!Chloe was great, it feeds my future headcanons. It proved that Tim and Chloe do share the negative effects of the fairies. And it was just a really good Chloe episode that Timmy was just a supporting character in. I really did like it. A+

 As a whole, I think both parts (this is meant to be paired with Spring Breakup) work nicely together. It’s a lot of Chloe and her family, so if you want some serious Carmichael development, do for this set most definitely.

Chip off the Old Crock:

 Ok before getting into this one, I just gotta state that since I read the description for it, I’ve been ITCHING to see this. How does Crocker have a nephew if he has no siblings? (*current thoughts: i’ve since this review come up with a plausible scenario*) What would this child be like? How could I use him for Superverse conveniently?? And then I saw screencaps and saw that he was a mini Crocker and got disappointed…

 But now we are to watch so let us see how that unfolds…

 What’s with that redheaded backgrounder?? He looks like a Lebowitz!! *files that away for layer usage*

 Still laughing that he’s named Kevin since that is a “name of evil” in our games and what not ever since my brother used it as a placeholder name for a badguy in a storyline; ever since then “Kevin” had been the badguys who are sorta pointless lol

 But still…”study abroad” um…you still could’ve used that since Crocker obviously has family in Canada; studying in California would then be considered “abroad” if he was Canadian. And that way, he wouldn’t have to be his literal nephew, but his 2nd cousin, but they just call each other uncle/nephew because it’s easier. That might sound confusing, but at least it makes more sense then just randomly implying he has siblings when he never has. I’m gonna headcanon this from now on, and no one can convince me otherwise. (*current thoughts: again, i’ve figured it out since writing this; i’ve left the original thoughts though to prove my though process from point A to point B*) Plus you miss out on Canada jokes this way…

 Awww Kevin, I’m starting to love you…that’s weird…

 Everyone pick a partner-no one pick Kevin, classic. However…redhead boy had 2 partners, why didn’t Crocker notice and stop that? There’s no reason why Chloe and Tim needed to pair up with him aside from plot relevance…

 Ah sweet Chloe, standing up for the misunderstood and outcast, trying to find the good in them and make others see it too. I love you sweetheart ^^ go make friends with Francis now please

 Why isn’t Dolores fawning over Kevin? You’d think she wouldn’t let her *grandson* out of her sight, considering the coddling we’ve seen her give Denzel at times. Unless she’s busy with her *other child* I guess…but in that case why isn’t she belittling Denzel for not being like *his sibling* and having kids and not living in her basement? I’d love to see Denzel look like a looser compared to this *sibling* he suddenly has, and it suits the family dynamic as we know it. Or perhaps the *sibling* is more of a looser, but Dolores still sings their praises because they did move out and have a kid, unlike Denzel who has a steady job and whatnot because *sibling* is a total bum. I mean, I get that it would only slow down the storyline, but it just feels out of character, plus the sudden introduction of a *sibling* just is wrong too…I should stop analyzing the Crocker family and just go back to the actual plot

 Kevin wants to be a dentist??? O.o are you related to Dr Bender??? That…would explain nothing honestly, idk why I went there

 “Sorry I’m too busy being a loner” haha that’s a good one

 Hey callback to Crocker wearing ladies clothes. Nice.

 “It’s a blueprint so shouldn’t it be blue?” hahaha that was funny

 Chloe how did you get to the top of the rock wall without a rope?? Did you boulder your way yup there?? And Tim! You should never rock climb without a belier(sp?) geeze, rock climbing 101 there dude

 And toilet joke…but I will let it slide because I am actually enjoying Kevin

 “Unleash your inner looser” omr yes best line

 Ah the build up to the betrayal “aw you guys actually like me” “well yeah you’re not evil” *does the evil thing* “we hate you now because you are evil after all”

 Unsuspecting Van is back whoot!

 Ninja!Chloe and Tim with a light saber; nice, but what a missed opportunity…also Chloe has a ninja suit…she really is replacing Tootie isn’t she…

 And Kevin saves the day by wishing none of this ever happened…just like Chester did in Fairy Idol hm…

 But at the end of it, I’m actually very surprised how much I liked this despite all its flaws. It’s riddled with clichés and huge plot holes/continuity errors, but I genuinely liked Kevin (and whole heartedly look forward to writing him into Superverse…also would it be too weird if he was Kyler’s father? I think it’d be weird…). I think it’s a nice B-story to Cat and Mouse and together they make a pretty good episode.

Space Ca-Dad:

 Off topic a moment here; rewatching the theme and it just dawned on me…maybe there’s a “fairy shortage” because no one’s enforcing the rules over fairies being revealed/discovered. I mean, if everyone Timmy knows knows about his fairies and yet he keeps them, then other kids must be doing that too you know. Just saying Jorgen, you caused this problem yourself man…and honestly, why not outsource the fairy jobs then to other magical creatures, since Fairy Idol proved any magical creature can be converted to a fairy godparent. It’d be a great way to bring Norm back if you stop and think about it, or a way to get the Pixies back in there too. I’m just saying, the “fairy shortage” story is pretty weak…still think Jorgen just did this to them because they’re good for each other…

 Ok back to the episode itself

 Yay Chloe is still a Squirrely Scout, good for continuity! And you love food puns? i love you more Chloe, you so are a Catman related heroine aren’t you ^^;

 Did he say “Mrs Lipshitz” or “Mrs Libwitz”? it was really hard to tell, so idk if that’s a Rugrats shout out or someone I have to add to my  Lebowitz family tree (cause slurred sound…and the witch/mental thing does suit the family…)

 Dad you had the rank of “flying squirrel” why is this confusing??

 Ok there are “Pickles” living on the street, I’m going with Lipshitz. So many Rurgrats shout outs.

 Whinny kid, Kid with issues (aren’t you Kevin?), and Stuart…so we are going with the latest (and suckier) Squirrel Scout troop line up. Kay.

 Chloe as a jr. astronaut though and knowing how to fly space ships ^^

 Heehee “Space Jam” how many more thinly veiled references can we have XD;;

 (maybe Squirrely Kevin is Kyler’s father…that’s doable…)

 Ah yes, Dad throwing the fairies out just when the kid/s need them. Yup, never seen that plot device used before nope. And how can rocket fuel destroy magical wands? They’re fairy magic, why are they so easy to ruin??

 How did you find a planetoid when you were heading towards the sun??? I don’t…right, why put logic into things, my bad

 The Glorg. Florgatron-5. Hm…*files that way for layer usage* Bakersfield???

 I loved all the aliens at the restaurant though.

 Over all, this episode was…meh. I didn’t dislike it, but it was a very pointless Dad episode. Seriously, you could’ve had them go to the Planet of the Dads and do pretty much the same thing, but at least keep that storyline going (since I think it’s the longest running one now). I’m unimpressed, but I’m not disappointed. So lets see if the B-story can save the episode as a whole.

Summer Bummer:

 “The looks of psychotic anticipation” lol, well we’re starting off with some good

 Also it’s summer vacation yet again. Mk…this makes it at least the 4th summer vacation Tim’s had, what with School’s Out, Shelf Life, and Microphony being the others I can easily site off the top of my head. So again, these children should be like 14-16 now

 It’s the return of Dad in short-shorts. Oh man, run and hide now.

 Chloe getting a summer internship/scientific program is very her. Must always be learn…wait did she say the corner of a basement?? O.o that’s concerning child…

 Oh hey that pink clad teacher is from s1 I think. Wasn’t she in Timvisible at the water cooler?? That is a very nice and wow throwback guys. Major points to you.

 Chloe is 10 and a half???? So she actually IS a year younger than Timmy, since he was already 10 when he had his birthday (and we ignore the previous like 5 birthdays he’s had >>) and they share a birthday…but wait, your birthday is in March…summer vacation starts in June/July, that isn’t 6 months later…ok so on the one hand, your math is all wrong, but on the other my headcanon that Chloe is a year younger seems to be proven fact. I don’t know what to do with this information!!

 Oh this is the sleep wishing episode I heard about! Wow took a while for the plot to show up…but you know, even though this has been used before, I feel like this is being used in a different context and for a different character, so I’m allowing the reuse of the plot idea. Let’s see how twisted up Chloe’s subconscious is…

 “Gender neutral Jesse” is sorta weird…I like the fact that Chloe did play with baby dolls though…

 Timmy you can’t unwish Chloe’s wish! We’ve been over this-we had a whole episode dedicated to it!! URG!! Did they just throw that out because it’s easier for them to just fix each other’s mistakes that way? I mean, if this was the only time, I could buy that since she didn’t *consciously* make this wish, it could be undone by Tim, but the other times they’ve pulled this she’s been in her full faculties. So uhg! You can’t even keep your own continuity you establish in the same season >> (but…you guys have been doing better than expected, so…it’s not *as* negative points as I’d usually give…or maybe it is but you’ve just racked up enough positive ones to be at the standard by now I guess)

 Hey Dr Rip Studwell, long time no see XD and…you made a manscaping joke…wow, I…wow

 And a poop joke…but you have a pirate ship…but still…

 “Took one to the crow’s nest” is that a crotch shot joke? Wow this episode is just…wow

 Omr the mini shoulder Chloes are adorable! I love valley girl!Chloe and german science!Chloe. Didn’t like the second poop joke in a minute, especially since Dad really *shouldn’t* have heard science!Chloe say that…

 She wished the doll big again…I think Chloe’s repressed feelings are about not wanting to grow up

 And look Da Rules FINALLY decide to kick…oh no, Chloe wished it to be unwishable...yeah, because that’s the only way to stop Tim from fixing it >> and yet at the same time, he did wish the monster to stay until he stopped lying about who set Chompy free, so…formula…

 “There’s free ice cream all over the street! It’s like delicious roadkill!” ok that is the best line ever

 Wait, you’re wishing yourself into Chloe’s mind?? Because that worked so well when you went into your own…and why does it remind me of Mabel’s dreamworld/mind? I expected less pink, more purple honestly. Preschool!Chloe is so adorable!! Totally called the plot though, not that it’s hard.

 Cosmo confirmed as queer, because even when he thought Wanda was “Weird Dude” he still had a crush on him. Wow, I am floored they did that, good for you

 And we end it by promoting cannibalism? Oh wait no; we scratch the 4th wall instead. Ahha. Yeah. You totally missed the opportunity to have “Kids just being Kids” playing somewhere-possibly remixed-because I feel the message suited Chloe’s mentality too right now.

 Over all, I’m glad it was Chloe centric but…I feel like this could’be been done in half the time maybe? They ignore their own continuity, but they do tackle real stuff in a minimal magical way. I guess like the A-story, I’m unimpressed but not disappointed. I feel like both of these should not have been paired together because as a whole the entire episode is lacking; they both needed a stronger story to counter balance them. It’s a good watch once through, but I doubt it’s an episode you’ll want to rewatch.

Dimmsdale’s Got Tallent:

 Ok…I feel like this plot has been used before…and not necessarily thinking Fairy Idol either, but I just can’t place which episode I’m thin king of…

 TOOTIE!!!! THEY DIDN’T SHIP YOU OFF TO BOARDING SCHOOL OR WHATEVER!! OMR!!! Sadly you were just a backgrounder cameo, but still…now I just need to find Francis then my main favs will have all appeared to be not dead (*spoiler: Francis does not appear anywhere*)

 More Bickles…huh…

 Mom’s stage name is “Madame Sasha”…is that a hint that her first name is Sasha?? Most times when you make up “magic names” they’re either your real name in between “the” and “magnificent” or they’re some super exotic/fake/fantastical sounding thing like how Dad was “Dadracadabra”

 And more about Chloe’s one-woman show. That’s so neat that this is something that they’re developing for her, instead of using as a toss away one shot gag.

 Kevin!! Dressed as a dummy for a comedy act lol. It’s an old and over used plot idea, but I’ll run with it. I like it. Cause Crocker now has 24 hour access to a child, he of course has to think of other ways to use it. “I’m telling my mom you made me do this” because that is Denzel’s sister so it is a legitimate threat…though you’d think Dolores would object to this too…why have we not had any interaction of Kevin with his grandmother yet??? I’d love to see Denzel get jealous over the attention his mother is giving Kevin that he never received

 Haha Dad stealing Chloe’s idea, and still breaking the gender norms, nice. Where did Bickles get the coconut bikini top and grass skirt though?

 Oh baaaaaad lesson to be teaching kids there guys. If the authority figure won’t give you want you want, you shouldn’t do them favors to try to bribe them into giving it to. Especially in the entertainment industry. That’s how bad situations happen….

 Um those remote control tap shoes shouldn’t work because they would be helping Tim to win a competition, which is against Da Rules…not that Da Rules seem to matter anymore…

 Ok Mom, you claimed to be a “Pet Psycho” yet you’re using only wild/non-pet animals. I think that’s probably the easiest way to point out that you’re doing this wrong

 “I love me some snake and mongoose” ok…lets go see if that’s a euphemism on google…hm, nope, just a drag racing movie. That’s nice…wasn’t Bickles a race car driver at some point??

 Doug Dimmadome returns! And “curious life partner”??? the Mayor and Chompy are a thing??? O.o???

 Good boy Kevin, stand up to Crocker ^^

 “That was a Dimma-dud” so simple and stupid, but probably the most fulfilling line thus far ^^;

 love Chloe’s gold gown

 ok I lied, “Dimma-dope” is now the most fulfilling line in this

 heehee Dudley Puppy and Crimson Chin balloons in the parade. So headcanoning that TUFF Puppy was a show on tv in FOPverse

 so this episode was….well just really pointless filler too. We got like minimal focus on any of our main characters. Have they forgotten how to write Timmy and Chloe?

 Together these two (this was paired with Knitt-witts)  were not a good match. Both were pointless filler with not a strong plot in either of them. Too many guest cameos, no character development. It was just barely enjoyable enough to not hate it, but just barely honestly. Weak episode all around.

Goldie Crocks and the three Fair Bears:

 Ok I’ve been looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears since the episode titles were released.

 Interesting to see the Squirrely Scout troop back again, still the same B-team line up including Chloe. Thought you already had that patch…but then again that could’ve been with the A-team troop lineup, so…the records were all destroyed when it was disbanded maybe?

 Thanks Tim, we all were asking that. But how does using Mom’s shampoo make your hair blonde? Luscious and even longer I could buy without complaint, but blonde??

 More over achieving Chloe lol (poor girl is gonna crash when she burns out). But wow, she fought King Neptuna…so why didn’t he remember her? Is Supergal now enemy to the merfolk??? Though that plays into the Merfolk vs Glamazons wouldn’t it…

 And now we turn into the clichéd camping storyline where Character A decides to go use non-wilderness to camp in luxury. But Tim, you used to like camping??? Also, still not seeing how the episode title plays into this plot yet…

 Cosmo has been right/made sense on more than one occasion though, why is it that surprising?

 Ok now we get the title…Crocker’s mother has a cabin in the woods? Buyable, sure. Crocker somehow brought the Fair Bears back into reality??? Uh…what now? Wait, they weren’t sent back to TVLand?? And Crocker knows all about their origin?? HOW does that not break Da Rules huh? Is it because he doesn’t know who wished them up, so it’s not against Da Rules?? Why wouldn’t they tell him that; wouldn’t that be a fair thing to do?? He’s in a blonde wig because they’re going to be Goldielocks at a theme park, yeah sure, ok I can buy that. But HOW did he get the bears in the first place???

 And Dad is blonde to be Goldielocks…wow…

 Chloe breaking the 4th wall a little there

 Gah even more middle names! Chloe how many do you even have????

 NO! YOU CAN’T UNDO THE OTHER’S WISHES! URGH!!! You established this rule right off the bat, yet you keep breaking it and they let you keep breaking it. Timmy wished for the camping stuff-Chloe should not be able to wish it away. Yes the plot is stalled, but really, what is the plot at this point??? If you’re only going to enforce the rules when it suits you, well, anarchy for all then please

 And you wished away the magic…yeah, that’s going to go super well

 “Mr Crocker’s unsightly twin sister” ok on the one hand, that works because of Kevin granted (even though she’s not a twin persay, but he has suddenly got a sister), but on the other…this is all saying that guys can’t have long hair and I don’t like that. I love guys with long hair. Between that comment on Crocker, and the comments earlier about Dad, why is long hair automatically girl now?

 Dolores dated Shaggy??? O.o i…I am very unnerved by that…wasn’t she already a full blown adult with a 10 year old child when Shaggy was a teenager roaming in the van with the Mystery Inc crew?? O.o

 Omr yes. Referencing the “original German version” as a darker one. Talking about basting and eating people. This turned dark super fast and I love that. why TrollLOL’s face is on the oven idk, but I’m rolling with it because I love this part.

 “I’ve already got 2 strikes from the school board” uh…yeah that’s the wrong side of dark I think…but it’s Crocker, it was probably the fork in Waxelplax’s fanny, and the flour incident or something fairly similar.

 Yes Tim, yell at Chloe that this is all her fault. We know it is, but pointing it out won’t help. But it totally is; you wished for no magic and you got into trouble-not surprising.

 HOW is it nearly midnight??? It was like, what, noon at the latest when this started?? You have not been out in the woods-in the daylight-for 12 hours-of daylight. Chloe hunny, you’re the smart one, why are you failing telling time??? I know its dark outside the house now, but it wasn’t in the scene before. Cosmo I think your clock is right. And how is “poof us out of here” bring you to a spot where it is, once again daylight; that seemed to suggest instant teleporting so you’re at the same time. Unless this next scene is a cut away to hours later BUT STILL! It should not be midnight.

 Oh Dad, yes, I’m sure no one cares about your troop anymore.

 “let’s send the Fair Bears back” uh you should have done that the first time and this whole mess would have been avoided. It’s like leaving the door to the comic book world open all over again.

 And yes, cause unnecessary harm to Crocker, why not. Not to mention all the innocent patrons at the theme park…

 Also why has no one mentioned Dimmsdale had a theme park before now?

 All in all, not a good episode. I was looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears, and it felt like they weren’t even in half of the episode. The rest was another boring camping storyline, which these two seem to do a lot of huh?

 Paired with Fancy Schmancy, as the production order says, I think the whole 30 min episode is completely weak and not great. This one was bad, the other was filler, so together they are just not meshing well at all.