#Sorry for the month long absence life's been a bitch recently

[itzmellooo]

No idea what Clyde did but apparently he sucks balls.

[ekwolfwood]

...well this has been a week from hell. or a month. its just been.... a lot. sorry if none of this makes sense, it is very much 4am.

(tw: health talk, disability talk... and death/pet death)

-it started at yeti, which was overall fantastic and 10/10 cant wait for next year, but all the stress factors all compounded into me having what was, on my birthday, probably my first noticeable seizure in decades. im not fully convinced, but both my partner and my twin noticed something was very off/not like regular dissociating

(i was one of those lucky ones that "grew out" of my absence seizures by highschool-ish, but theres always been the chance of them coming back/if i was still having super mild ones (i still have hella motor tics, which are tangentially related), but recently.... something in me might have been trying to warn me (we were using our own disability stuff for our heralds au, and bringing it up a lot...). i wanna talk about the good yeti things, but it doesnt feel like that day happened at all?

-on an immediate side note, mild pain flares took up a lot of the following two weeks, but i also finally got a specialist appointment with a pseudo answer??? he was very nice, and confirms at least prooobably fibromyalgia? which yeah lol ive suspected for years, so its a nice first step/confirmation. im placing a new bet however on that hes dead wrong with saying theres nothing wrong with my connective tissue. there is. i know there is. the pain and need for a walking stick for my knees/balance says otherwise

now the other two... bigger things.

-...... got a call on canada day that my grandad died. its been.... rough. more worry (mostly about my dad, and just over change and scheduling). more stress. this is the first time ive cried over a family member dying. ever. i didnt care about the other set of grandparents, on my mums side (when my nana died there was an undercurrent of 'ding dong the bitch is dead...' she was a... mildly racist piece of work, to be nice about her). but i like my dads side of the family. im glad alex got to meet him once before he went. he was 96. its not a shock, its just... its just yeah. theres gonna be no funeral, and i dont know if im thankful for that or not.

-.....and then all the past few weeks, Loki, my partners cat, had been acting increasingly off. i had a gut feeling. he's had kidney issues/near renal failure twice before. i just... i knew it was gonna be soon, and i desperately wanted to be wrong, and let the little blighter have a good long life being a little sensory nightmare to me, but... something in me just fucking knew. and, of course, because of my grandad, the news happened when i was 3 hours away from home with responsibilities and couldnt just leave. she's here now tho, and we're going home tomorrow morning, and saying goodbye to him on thursday.

i... dont deal well with change. the processing, the not feeling grief properly (cognitive/affective empathy issues, which is wild because alex and i had a whole ass conversation about that before any of this happened???? again. weird. coincidences.), the uncertainty.

and the fact that no one can be ready for any of this.

but, if things come in threes, then that better be fucking it for a while okay.

because we'll be alright.

we'll make it through.

things just take time.

[lycotherapy]

Because this is my “feel good” blog to come to when I’m down. I want to say why I’m making it. A few months ago I was injured at work, nothing major, a pulled muscle or something I thought, and no paperwork was done on it as an industrial injury. Flash forward to a few hours later and I’m in the ER going in for my second MRI in an afternoon trying to find out what’s going on.

Because of a surgery almost exactly a year prior, I had no FMLA time left, so this absence wasn’t covered. Instead they got me with the ADA job protection. Because of this, my medical insurance was canceled. I was unaware, and HR never notified me or processed any paperwork to allow me to apply for COBRA like they are supposed to do in these cases. So I lost an entire month of treatment, and with it the window for surgery on my spine closed. So, on my short term disability where I brought home 66% of my normal income, I now had to add $872 a month for insurance. Factor in existing costs of living, doctors appointments with specialists, prescriptions etc, and I am living in the negative most of the time. The dogs are the priority, and I have been eating ramen, eggs and grilled cheese for literally months now because that’s about all I can afford.

Now I recently found out that my short term has run out, and it will no longer be able to be used, and once again HR never notified me just how long “short” actually was. I have long term disability coverage, but I’m not sure if I’ll qualify since I am off, and not covered under FMLA. Either way they never sent any of that information to me either. Now, I may be forced to return to work, a line of work where I can not be on narcotic pain pills, and my left leg is totally numb with shooting pains, and it feels like someone “nut checks” (sorry, it’s the best description) me every few minutes as the nerve does it’s thing and sends signals, leaving me nearly doubled over.

All of this could have been avoided if I would have just claimed it as an industrial injury. But it was so minor, I never dreamt I’d have been off this long, and had this many problems. I’ve never felt stress like I have other the past few months. I’m in the process of losing my house now, so it’s going to be listed for sale, pay off the remainder of the mortgage and I’ll move in with my parents at thirty, and be the “guy who’s thirty, single, and living with his parents.” My credit is now shot because of the no income and bills going past due, and losing a house will only hurt it more. It will be literally years before I will be able to qualify for another house, if ever at the prices they are going for now, let alone an apartment.

So yeah, my life went from pretty dang good, to absolute shit in the last year. I figured after I had given them fifteen years of service, I’d have at least been tossed a bone, but instead they have treated me like absolute shit. I kept my head above water until I got hurt, then it was like I was handed a lead weight, and I just sank to the bottom. I contemplated just ending it, why go on? It’ll take a decade or more to get back to where I was in January, and probably another one or two decades on top of that to get back to where I was this time last year. I figured it was over, and just better to pull the plug, but I was too big of a bitch to even do that with the pistol in my hand. Failing at giving up. Who would have thought that was a thing. So anyways, that’s where I’m at, if you’ve read this far, I don’t know what to say other than scroll on and I hope my blog makes you feel something at least.

[searidings]

this is what happens when @ekingston and i get our hands on the prompt “that's my wife!” and agree that she'll draw my idea for it and i'll write hers (aka hearing kara call it out as she watches lena being wheeled down a hospital corridor)

“Excuse me, you can't go through there!”

Kara growls. The woman blocking her path is short and gently rounded, the kind lines of her face drooping in disapproval above her nurse's scrubs. “No visitor access beyond this point, dear. Immediate family only.”

“Immediate— you're joking, right?” Kara cranes her head, peering through the closing doors to catch a last glimpse of Lena's gurney as it rounds the corner at the end of the hall. “That's my wife!”

The nurse gapes at her. “Your—?”

Kara growls again, louder. It's a good thing she'd blown out her powers twenty minutes ago, or she would not be held responsible for the Kryptonian-shaped hole in NC Memorial Hospital's expensive surgery doors. “Yes, my wi—”

Her snarl is cut off by a hand clamping down firmly over her mouth from behind. Kara's first instinct is to bite it. She resists, narrowly, as the familiar scent of shea butter moisturiser registers in her adrenaline-fogged brain.

“You sure about that?” Alex squeaks around a nervous laugh, voice pitched a half-octave too high. She removes her hand from Kara's mouth, wiping her damp palm on her pants with a wrinkled nose. “Get hit on the head during that fight, did you?”

Kara whirls on her sister, eyes blazing. “Am I sure?” she parrots incredulously. Alex cowers a little beneath the force of her stare. “Unless you're trying to tell me I hallucinated my entire wedding—”

“Supergirl isn't married,” Alex stage-whispers loud enough to be heard in Florida, glancing pointedly down at Kara's ash-caked body and oh yeah, she's still wearing her supersuit.

Right, right.

The nurse – Rosemary, her badge reads – finally picks her jaw up off the floor long enough to speak. Her eyes are wide, sparkling with sudden glee. “So Lena Luthor and Su—”

Kara's hackles rise at the suggestion in her tone. “Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers are happily married,” she interrupts sternly. “You might have seen the wedding photos in last month's Vogue.”

The nurse smirks. At her elbow, Alex drops her head into her hands.

“Kara Danvers, hm? Amazing what a pair of glasses do for you, dear.” Rosemary's brow quirks with impish satisfaction and, oh. Whoops. It would appear that in her haste to quash any potential rumours of Lena's infidelity behind the back of her very recent, very publicly human wife, she'd forgotten about the other delicate matter at hand.

Alex sighs so long and so heavy Kara legitimately marvels that she doesn't pass out from the strain. “I knew keeping a spare NDA in my back pocket would pay off,” her sister groans, thrusting an official-looking, if crumpled, contract beneath the nurse's nose.

“Sorry,” Kara murmurs sheepishly as Rosemary signs away page after page of her right to ever disclose Supergirl's identity in any capacity. “I wasn't thinking, I can't— Alex, it's Lena.”  

“I know, I know,” her sister soothes, frustration dissipating as she reaches out to pull Kara into her side, ignoring the soot and grit that smear across her jacket at the contact. “She's gonna be okay.”

“But what if she's not?” Kara asks and the sobs arrive then, the last remnants of the fight or flight response that had propelled her this far dissipating beneath the weight of her terror. “She stepped right in front of that bullet, Alex! Of all the stupid, reckless—”

“If I recall, she was pushing you back after you shoved her out of the way in the first place,” Alex hums thoughtfully. Kara's tear-filled eyes snap to her face, incredulous, and her sister grimaces. “Right, right. Not the time.”

“She has to be okay,” she gasps, clutching hard at her sister's jacket as her knees threaten to give out beneath her. “She has to, I can't— I feel like I can't breathe. Like my heart's been ripped out.”

Alex clicks her tongue in sympathy, wrapping a firm arm round Kara's waist and guiding her to a nearby row of chairs. Rosemary deposits the signed NDA wordlessly on the hard plastic beside them, reaching into her scrubs to produce a pack of tissues.

Alex accepts, extracting one to dab at Kara's snotty, tear-stained face with her free hand. “Welcome to married life, kid,” she chuckles, pressing a kiss to Kara's matted hair. “It can be a real bitch.”

-

It's a long night.  

It's a long night, a night of anxious waiting and barely-restrained nausea and vending machine coffee so bad even Nia won't drink it. Her family, their family, crowd the waiting room, dozing across the rows of seats as the hours drag on and on.

Alex tries her best, at varying intervals, to force her back to the Tower for a stint under the sun lamps. Every time without fail, Kara sets her jaw, then sets her feet in the middle of the surgical wing waiting room and refuses to budge.

This leads to several arguments, and a lot of impassioned shoving.  

“What if she needs me?” Kara laments tearily, pout activated and puppy dog eyes firmly in place. Alex, mid-football tackle with her arms and right shoulder braced against Kara's torso as she attempts to use her entire bodyweight to force her sister toward the exit, only grunts with exertion. Behind them, J’onn dozes in the corner. Brainy and Kelly and Nia continue their conversation without batting an eyelid.

“No, scratch that, she does need me,” Kara corrects, unaffected by her sister's NFL-worthy body slam. “She's been shot. I'm not going anywhere.”

Alex, perhaps finally sensing defeat after her fourth unsuccessful attempt, gives one final shove with all her strength. Kara doesn't so much as wobble, and her sister releases her with a huff. “Fine. But for the love of God, change your clothes before you start shouting about your wife again,” she pants, red-faced and sweating as she collapses into a nearby chair. “That was my last NDA.”

That's a compromise she can make. Kara accepts the bundle of clothes Nia presents her with, stripping out of her dirt-caked suit and re-donning her glasses. Thankfully, the only person around to witness Kara entering the bathroom as a superhero and re-emerging as a Catco reporter is Rosemary.  

The updates on Lena's condition are sporadic at best. By the time the first surgeon emerges to say the bullet has been removed from Lena's chest cavity Kara's accidentally cracked three plastic chairs, advanced all the way to Lollipop Land on Alex's Candy Crush, and worn a groove into the waiting room linoleum with her nervous pacing.

When another doctor emerges three hours later to tell them Lena had developed a tension pneumothorax and needs additional treatment, Kara's made it to Rainbow Reef and chewed her bottom lip bloody.

When, at five in the morning, yet another doctor appears to inform them that Lena is being placed on anti-radiation medication to counter the Kryptonite that had coated the bullet, Kara's finished all nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-five levels of the damn game. The doctor leaves, promising to be back with more news soon, and Kara squeezes her sister's hand so hard poor Nurse Rosemary has to be called to administer an ice pack for the bruising, solar flare be damned.

Dawn breaks to find Kara scratchy-eyed and grumpy, worn ragged with worry. The waiting room begins to fill up around them, new patients and their relatives coming and going, and still there's nothing new on Lena. Every time another scrub-clad surgeon pushes through the doors Kara's heart skips a beat, all of them sitting up straighter in their seats, but every time the doctor passes them by.

Kara's just wolfed down six cold breakfast sandwiches procured by Brainy on his sojourn to the hospital cafeteria and is debating the relative merits of starting Candy Crush over from scratch when another young doctor appears. Her scrub cap has avocados on it. Kara likes her already.

“Family of Ms Luthor?” she calls, looking around, and Kara pushes up hard from her chair to the resounding snap of cracking plastic. Whoops.

“It's Luthor-Danvers,” she gabbles as she bounds over to the surgeon, palms sweating. No matter how many times she hears it, it never loses its thrill. “I'm, I'm her wife.”

The young doctor's features soften. “Of course. I've come to let you know that it looks like Ms Luthor-Danvers is out of the woods. She's sedated and still on an anti-radiation drip, but she's through the worst of it.” She appraises Kara, gaze lingering on her chewed-raw lips and clenching fingers, then leans closer conspiratorially. “It's not general visiting hours yet, but you can see her, if you'd like.”

“Yes!” Kara's shouting almost before the surgeon has finished speaking. “Yes, please, yes.”

She hugs them all, Alex and Brainy and Nia and Kelly and J’onn, and leaves them in the waiting room as she follows the doctor's sunshine-yellow crocs down the hall.

They round corner after corner, an interminable maze. Powerless as she is, she can't hear Lena’s heartbeat, and the absence of the steady beat that has become the soundtrack to her existence sets her even more on edge.  

But at last they turn a corner, and there she is. She's pale and bandaged and her eyes are closed, creamy skin streaked with dirt and bruises, but she's there, she's alive, she's Lena.  

The surgeon holds the door open for her with a smile and Kara's across the room in a heartbeat, smoothing a hand over Lena's warm cheek and pressing kiss after kiss to her forehead and hair.  

“I love you, I love you,” she whisper-cries against Lena's temple, tucking her matted curls behind her ears. The smell of blood and dirt and antiseptic is almost overwhelming, but beneath the dust and debris caught up in her hair Lena's scalp smells the same as always. Kara presses her face to the crown of her head and inhales deeply, soaking it in.  

“Why'd you have to be so damn brave?” she whispers, nuzzling her cheek against silky softness. “I love you so much. Please don't step in front of any more bullets. Please learn to be a coward, occasionally.”

The singular relief of having Lena living and breathing and in her arms again is so complete, so compounded by the fear and the adrenaline and the sleepless night and the solar flare, that she feels suddenly that she may crumple to the ground from the force of it all.

Unwilling to relinquish her hold for even a second she appraises the bandages covering Lena's right side, then crawls onto the hospital bed on her left, careful to avoid her many wires and monitors. She tucks herself in beside her on the wide mattress, chin hooked over Lena's shoulder and face pressed to the side of her neck, and lets the tears that haven't really stopped falling since that bullet had left its chamber fall for just a little longer.

Nothing matters outside of the two of them, outside of the warmth of Lena's body and the softness of her skin beneath Kara's lips and the steady thud of her heart beneath Kara's palm. Nothing else in the world exists, so when an unfamiliar male voice sounds from the doorway it takes her a moment to register the intrusion.

“Excuse me, ma’am, you really can't be on the bed with her,” the strange, disembodied voice calls from behind her and Kara frowns tiredly, unable and unwilling to acknowledge anything outside of the woman in her arms.

But before she's even managed to raise her head another voice sounds, the soft tones of a young surgeon in an avocado scrub cap.  

“Oh, honestly, Peter,” the kindly doctor says with gentle reproach, a quiet calm washing over the room as the door is pulled closed and she and Lena are left alone. “Leave them be. That's her wife.”

[jkbabiey]

𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 ⤇ 𝙹𝙹𝙺

Words: 4.7K

Genre: angst; fluff; it's a sad ending y'all

Synopsis: “I'm in love with you and it scares me to death."

Song Rec: 2 kids - Taemin ; to die for - Sam Smith ; r u ok - Tate McRae ; Emotional bruises - Madison Beer ; Selfish - Madison Beer ; i love you - Billie Eilish ; when the party's over - Billie Eilish

Oh, he was so perfect! So freaking flawless you couldn’t take your eyes off him for a second!

You had just got to Hoseok’s party with Yuta, but it seemed, to Jungkook, like he had been staring at you for hours. You hadn’t spared him a look yet, and if he hadn’t stood up from his seat on the couch to greet you, you probably wouldn’t have even known he was there too. You were too busy looking at your boyfriend, all wide-eyed and agape lips, to notice his presence behind you. But then Yuta’s eyes hardened as he crossed eyes with your best friend, and you, of course, noticed his change of behaviour and looked over your shoulder.

“Oh! Hi Kook!” you squealed and immediately threw your arms around his neck. Jungkook quickly enveloped your waist in his muscular arms, lifting you from the floor. “God, I missed you so much these last days! Where have you been?” you asked against the skin of his neck. And Jungkook smiled, discretely taking a sniff from your hair.

“I’ve been where I always am. You’re the one who disappeared,” he said, humorously - but not so much, because he actually meant to throw that in your face, but he wouldn’t stand the idea of making you feel bad over anything, ever.

“Oh God, blame Yuta here!” you said, raising your eyebrows and chuckling softly as he let you back on the floor. “Yuta, this is Jungkook, my best friend.” You presented him, and he held out his hand in Yuta’s direction, out of pure courtesy.

“Hey man,” Yuta muttered and shook his hand, a bit too boldly for Jungkook’s liking. Jungkook smiled at the guy - a very small and not-genuine smile. Any other time, you would have noticed how fake his smile was, but right now, your eyes were on Yuta. None of your attention was aimed at Jungkook.

Before Jungkook noticed, you two were already too immersed in how amazing these last days - without him - had been, he turned around and walked out of the toxic, smoke-ish and noisy environment that had taken over Hoseok’s whole place, betting his ass that you wouldn't notice his absence until the end of the night.

His hands were buried in his pockets and his head hung low. He was praying not to bump into Jin, Taehyung or any other of his closest friends that had also attended the party. His lips were currently being intensely wounded by his front teeth. His eyes stung and he didn’t know why. Then he got to his car, sitting down and letting go a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding in. Then the tears he also hadn’t noticed to be sheltering in his eyes started to run down his cheeks.

He didn't quite know why he was crying. The only thing he knew was that you were taken. You were completely smitten to some other guy, that wasn’t him and that bothered him in measures he couldn’t have imagined. You were absolutely smitten to someone, who wasn't him.

He had lost his chance. That's why he was crying.

He was a goner.

You were standing there, messy hair, deep dark circles, bare face, large grey sweatpants- that seemed oddly familiar to him, but he decided to ignore that - and a black sweatshirt, in front of him, asking to come in. He stepped away and you came in. Not wasting any time after he closed the door, you grabbed his neck and buried your face on it. He felt the wet patches you were leaving in his thin dark green t-shirt. He held you tight against his body and you sobbed fully. Your cries only intensified when he placed one of his big hands on your head and took his soft lips to your forehead, pecking it.

Then he picked you up, your legs around his waist and your face, still buried in his neck. He took you to his living room, taking a chair and placing it in front of his warm fireplace. He sat on it, you on his lap, holding onto his shoulders. There was nothing better than this spot to calm you down on a cold day. He knew it but he doubted Yuta made any idea of it.

“Have you ever been afraid of losing the love of your life?”

His heart shattered. He could hear it shatter, like a very fragile glass piece. Yuta was the love of your life. What had he to do with that, why were you even here, if your problem was with Yuta?

“You and Yuta argued?”

You hummed, a bit hesitant - the reason unknown to him. He didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t. It was not his place. You just needed a friendly lap to seat on, a couple of warm arms to hold you and a gentle voice to tell you it was alright.

“It’s alright... It’s alright baby...”

That’s exactly what he did.

“This is Soojin, my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widened and a small, surprised smile played on your lips. He hesitated for your answer.

“Hi!” after greeting the beautiful girl that stood next to him holding his hand tight, you moved forward to briefly hug her. “Jungkook, never mentioned you before!”.

Snarky.

Soojin looked at Jungkook, her shy eyes now displayed a small discreet amount of anger.

“Oh... This is pretty recent. That’s why,” Soojin blurted, a nervous laugh erupting right away.

Soojin was a girl he had met about a month ago and she was amazing. Incredibly breathtaking and Jungkook couldn’t adore her more. His crush on you had been long forgotten - or at least he thought it had.

Jungkook thought the dinner was delicious, but still, when you asked what he thought of the dinner he answered ‘it’s good, but yesterday Soojin made some amazing bibimbap, I should have asked her to do it for tonight instead’. And you smiled bitterly and him. No one else noticed the bitterness in your smile, but he did.

Why was he acting this way? Because since he and his new girlfriend got in your apartment, you had established this dumb discreet competition between you and Soojin, making passive-aggressive comments and the poor girl beside him was so notoriously uncomfortable, he felt sorry for bringing her here.

“Soojin, maybe you should visit my hairdresser”

“I know you probably don’t understand since you’ve never been to college, but I’ve been so happy with my grades recently”

“How have you managed to attract someone like Jungkook, I mean... You know what I mean, right?”

So when the dinner was over, he pulled you away by the arm, bringing you to the kitchen and leaving Yuta and Soojin on the balcony, enjoying the view and hopefully sparing Soojin some minutes of your annoyingly mean comments.

“Why are you being such a bitch to Soojin?” he asked, hands on his hips and his eyes raging.

“I’m not,” you furrowed your eyebrows and he laughed ironically.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N.”

“You had never mentioned her before. Who do you think I am, for you to present me some temporary fling you’re having. I’m more important than that! If you want to present me to someone, I want her to be at least stable. Not someone you’ve been dating for 2 weeks!”

“What has time to do with it? I like her, I think she’s worthy enough for you to meet her!”

“C’mon, look at her. She sports the slutty look.” you deadpanned and Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“You’re going too far! Look at Yuta! He’s the typical high school fuckboy!” he whisper-screamed. “You have no moral to talk about Soojin like that!”

“Oh, now he’s defending her!” you ironized and he rubbed his forehead, trying to look for just a little bit more patience. “You didn’t even tell me she was coming! And plus, I don’t have to mandatorily like her!”

“I don’t like Yuta and you don’t hear me talking to him like he's trash, right?”

“Yeah, that’s because he’s not trash, but we can’t say the same for Soojin, can we?”

That was enough. He turned his back on you, going to the balcony in quick steps and grabbing Soojin’s hand in his. He dragged her across your apartment as you stared at him piercingly.

“Babe, what’s going on?” Soojin asked, completely adrift.

“We’re leaving.”

“I haven’t said goodbye yet, kook”

“You don’t need to, we’re not coming back anyway,” he stated as his eyes locked on yours.

Jungkook really didn’t plan on coming back but Soojin broke up with him about a month later, claiming that he was in love with someone else and not bothering to explain further. Needless to say, Jungkook had never been as bewildered and nauseated in his life. He had argued with you, his best friend, to protect Soojin’s dignity, and she dared to say he didn’t love her?!

The only one he could think of to help him figure out what the heck Soojin was referring to with such barbarities, was you. You were the most intelligent and astute person Jungkook had ever met. He was sure you were the only one who could possible help him.

When he showed up at your door, you opened it. No sign of shock or surprise evident on your face in seeing him after your huge argument, because you both knew you two would never be able to stay mad a each other for too long. A month of not talking was a new record.

When he blurted out the reason Soojin had used to break up with him, after sitting down next to you on your couch, your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened.

“What?” you exclaimed as Jungkook shook his head, showing his bewilderment.

“That’s what I said!” he exclaimed back and you looked at the floor, completely confused by what your best friend was telling you. The boy had almost finished his 7-year friendship to defend his new girlfriend. How could she even question his feelings?!

“She’s probably just overthinking something... Maybe she saw you hugging another girl... Or maybe a text on your phone...”

“I didn’t text anyone other than her! Not even you!” he screeched and you scratched your ear, trying to think of some logical reason behind the sudden breakup.

“... Probably, it’s really her overthinking something... Girls do that! I do that, all the time!” you looked at him doubtfully, as he stared back in the same way. “SHE’S INSECURE!” you shouted as the sudden realization, that seemed to be the most logical out of every single theory you had already come up with, came to your mind.

Jungkook widened his eyes, straightening his back as your speculation didn’t seem as automatically disposable as all the others that had come to his mind.

“That’s it!” you continued. “Probably, she’s in one of those times where she doubts every single thing in her body, and she thinks she’s not enough for you! I feel that way too often!”

Jungkook’s expression got serious as he heard the last portion of your speech. “You do?”

It took you a moment to understand what he was asking, but as you saw the worry behind his eyes you quickly figured the context of the question. “Oh... Yeah, I guess it’s pretty normal...”

“You shouldn’t feel that way, you’re pretty amazing...”

You smiled shyly and sent him a sweet gaze, as he quickly returned it. “With Yuta, it’s pretty hard not to doubt me at times. Have you seen the guy? Seems like he came straight out a freaking novel...” you chuckled playfully and Jungkook pushed your shoulder with his.

“And so do you.” And there was Jungkook in his natural element.

“Jungkook! Stop flirting!” you screeched, shyly as your cheeks turned into a dark shade of pink. Jungkook laughed, cringing internally at how cute he found you in that exact moment. He embraced your shoulders in his muscular arms, and you finally looked into his eyes. His face was awfully close and you could feel his breath on your face as a soft smile lingered on his lips.

“Missed you,” he whispered so that only the two of you could hear it, even though no one else was around.

“Missed you,” you whispered back, leaning your forehead to his.

Soojin had taken him back.

She had her reasons to break up with him in the first place, but she couldn’t deny the guy a second chance as he stood by her door, a bouquet of red roses, that you had recommended, in his hand, puppy eyes and pouted lips.

You had found out in the worst of ways.

Crying your heart out, you stood in the elevator, waiting for it to finally come to your destination, your best friend’s apartment floor. When it did, you got out of it, your face smudged with your -supposedly, waterproof - mascara. You knocked and were received by Soojin, in all her beauty, messy hair and no make-up features, wearing Jungkook’s shirt. She was probably busy with something else. She still managed to look extremely gorgeous, and there were you, looking like you had just been run over by a bus.

“Y/N! Are you alright! That’s dumb, of course not! Do you want to come in? Wait a second, I’ll go call Jungkook,” she stated with a genuine expression of worry on her face and a hand on your shoulder.

“No! No, leave it. I’m fine!” you said, grabbing her hand before she could go and call Jungkook. “I’ll just go home. Sorry for interrupting you two!” you smiled, even with your smudged make-up face. “Don’t worry, I’ll just call him later!”

And so you turned your back on her, as you felt her worried look on your back.

“Oh! And I’m sorry about how I treated you last time...” You turned back to her, sending an apologetic smile her way.

“Don’t worry about that...” she muttered and smiled back.

It was obvious why Jungkook liked her so much.

“What happened yesterday?!” Jungkook shouted as soon as you opened the door, exactly 7:54 AM and the guy was already standing by your door.

“You didn’t tell me you and Soojin were back together...”

“Not what I asked,” he said back, impatient.

“I wasn’t answering you either,” you mocked and he sent you an annoyed look. “Don’t worry about last night. I’m fine now.”

“I just want to know what happened. Not even worried...” he said and you laughed at how sarcastic he could be at times.

“Yuta and I broke up,” you said and Jungkook’s eyes widened. “He cheated. A drunk night out.”

“Son of a bitch...” he muttered and you quickly enveloped his face with your hands, bringing his eyes to yours.

“I’m fine, really. No need to get mad” you chuckled a bit. Jungkook stared at you for a while, before holding your hands and kissing both of them.

“You deserve so much better. Please don’t settle for someone like him.”

“I won’t,” you smiled and he smiled back.

He spent the rest of the day with you. Both laying on the sofa, holding onto each other, and watching movies, with a huge bowl of the sweetest popcorn you could have managed.

“I’m 25...” you muttered out of nowhere and Jungkook hummed back, his face snuggled by the side of your neck, his arms around your waist and his chest against your back.

“And?”

“I want to get married someday and now I don't have a boyfriend,” you muttered once again.

“Were you really planning on marrying that piece of shit?”

“I didn’t know he was a piece of shit.”

“You don’t need to get married now. You’re still young. You’ll find a great guy, who knows how to truly value you as the woman you are,” he said, before softly kissing the skin of your neck, where his cheek was previously resting on.

"Soojin’s a lucky girl,” you said, smiling, after few silent moments.

She really was a lucky girl.

A few years later

“Would you marry me?”

Your eyes widened, quickly averting to your best friend, kneeled down in front of his 3-year girlfriend. He was glowing. A wide perfectly white smile played on his lips as he stared up at Soojin with eyes that shone brighter than ever. She was speechless - very much like you. Her hands covered her mouth and her eyes were starting to get wet with tears. The answer that followed was obvious.

“Yes!”

There it was. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, as he stood up and enveloped her slim waist in his embrace. She was crying already and he chuckled lightly at the emotional mess his girlfriend was.

You weren't expecting this. But you should have. Jungkook hadn't talked to you about this or left you any clue about it, but still, he was 28 years old. You could see the shine of his eyes getting brighter each time he looked at her, every passing day. They were in love and their relationship was stronger each day.

Your whole group of friends manifested their happiness. Jimin had tears in his eyes from how happy he was seeing that the youngest of the group was finally settling down for life. Namjoon clapped his hands, smirking proudly at the youngest. You could swear you’d seen Jin, that stood next to Namjoon also clapping his hands, winking to his friend when their eyes crossed. Yeri whistled loudly along with Taehyung, while Irene laughed at her friends’ foolishness.

Mingyu, quite unaware of the mess the living room held, kept his eyes secured on you, smiling. When you caught his gaze, you sent him a tiny smile back - the first since the heartfelt proposal. You averted your eyes back to the couple holding each other in the middle of the room and when they parted their embrace, Jungkook’s eyes locked on yours. You weren’t smiling as he expected you to be. You didn’t even seem to be happy for him. He smiled anyway, and you, in all your effort, winked playfully at him, as you turned your back on him. You grabbed a cup of champagne and walked towards the balcony, being interrupted by the male hand that suddenly grabbed your waist.

“We’re next,” you heard Mingyu whisper in your ear. You looked back, grabbing his hand and lightly squeezing it.

“You bet,” you answered playfully and smiled brightly at him.

Mingyu was your boyfriend. You had been dating him for 2 years now and he was great. Jungkook had presented him to you at a home party. You still remember complaining to him about having to watch him and Soojin being all couply while you still spent the night laying in bed and watching romances. The week after your complaints he took you to a party and introduced you to this really nice and good-looking guy, which happened to be his friend, named Mingyu. Mingyu was a few months older than you and he had just started to work as a lawyer. He was already introduced to your family and they all loved him, dismissing your sister's daily comments that claimed her disappointment because she thought you 'would end u with your Jungkook'.

When Mingyu let go of you to go hang out with the rest of your friends, you reached the balcony, closing the door behind you, leaning on the glass balcony and gazing at the amazing view your friend Irene had got when she bought this new apartment with Jin, her boyfriend. Your hair, being wildly swept by the wind, was a mess, but you could care less. Your eyes were teary, you didn't really know why though. Something about Jungkook getting married left a huge ball of emotions sitting on your chest. What bothered you is that even knowing Soojin was an amazing girl and Jungkook would be happy with her, you weren't particularly happy with the news. You knew this could as well turn you into a very shitty best friend, and that's why you thought you wouldn't really be able to talk to Jungkook without catching a breath of fresh air first. Without noticing the tears you had been previously sheltering in your eyes, were now running down your cheeks.

You sobbed and quickly wiped the tears away when you heard the balcony doors opening and closing again. It was Jungkook, you knew it when you felt the warm presence you'd gotten used to after 9 years.

"Hey," he muttered.

You didn't answer, afraid your voice would fail you and just kept staring forwards, feeling Jungkook's gaze on you. You knew he knew you had been crying. He was a master when it came to figuring it out.

"So... you're getting married now hum?" you commented, once your vocal cords seemed stable enough.

"Right," he answered, and you looked at your side, not bothering to hide your puffy eyes. "What do you think of that?" he asked you and you looked down at your hands.

"You know... If you're happy, I'm happy," you said and he chuckled.

"Of course," Jungkook mimicked your actions, looking down as well. You two stayed quiet for some time, as the starry night sky shined down on you.

"You look amazing tonight, by the way," he remarked. "Didn't get the chance to te-"

"You didn't tell me you were going to propose," you interrupted him, looking back at him. There wasn't a shy smile on your lips or a polite gaze on your eyes. All Jungkook could see in your expression was hurt.

"I don't have to tell you every little thing going on in my life," he answered, putting up his defensive side.

"This is not little! This is marriage," you exclaimed and stared at him. He stared down and stayed quiet.

"Mingyu told me he's going to propose too," he announced and you widened your eyes. Not that you hadn't thought about it. Mingyu had commented a lot of times he wanted to make you his wife and build a family with you. But still, it was big news for you.

"I'm sure you weren't supposed to tell me that."

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked and stared at you.

You stared back at him and for once in that night, your eyes met for more than a minute. There was a silent plead present in his eyes that you couldn't really figure out. He sighed and got closer to you, your arms rubbing against each other. You lay your head down on his shoulder and he shortly kissed your forehead.

"Y/n..." he whispered, and you hummed back, still not answering his previous question. "I can... go back. If you... want me to."

"If you love her, then you should marry her," you answered right away, not wanting to hold your best friend back from marrying the girl he loves.

He kept quiet and so did you.

"Are you going to say yes?" he repeated his previous question and you shot your head up, looking straight in his eyes.

"You know... I've always thought of you as the love of my life."

Jungkook's eyes widened as you chuckled. That's when it came to him. That night, you were afraid of losing him, not Yuta.

"I've always been told I should marry the love of my life. But I don't think I can marry you now that you're already married," you stated playfully, but Jungkook's stare was serious. "Mingyu is amazing, really. I worship him. But how do I know if I love him enough to marry him?" you asked, looking up to find Jungkook already staring at you, a mix of different emotions present in his eyes. "How did you know you loved Soojin enough to marry her?" you asked again and Jungkook looked down.

"Well... I like her almost as much as I love you," he whispered loud enough for only you to listen. "And I think that's a whole lot."

"Do you love her, though?" you asked, absolutely perplexed at his answer.

He smiled lightly and sighted.

"You just don't get it, do you?" he whispered.

He stood up straight, turning his back on you and walking back towards the door.

"Why don't you just tell me then?" you said a bit louder than you had talked the whole night.

He looked back at you, over his shoulder, his hand already on the door handle. He chuckled lowly, what sounded like a sarcastic chuckle, before turning back to you and taking two steps forward. Somehow, his expression had changed and you weren't sure how to read it now. He was bitter.

"You want me to tell you? I just proposed and you have the guts to get sad because I'm marrying Soojin??

"I'm not s-"

"Shut up! Just... Shut up." he begged ironically and you stood quiet, he sighed angrily and looked to his left, avoiding looking at you.

"Maybe you should step away... At least for a while."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Jungkook you're getting married. I can't miss that. I won't miss that!"

"Exactly!" he screamed suddenly and walked quickly towards you. He had never been this angry in front of you and it scared you that you were the reason for his anger. His face was inches away from yours and you could feel his quick breath fanning over your lips. "I'm getting married to Soojin but all I can think about is if I should have proposed to you!" he whispered in your face and you could see his eyes watering, very much like you could feel yours do the same. “You know why I proposed so suddenly? Because Mingyu told me he was going to propose to you and I didn’t want to be the only one feeling miserable!”

"J-Jungkook..." you sighed and Jungkook let his tears fall, furrowing his eyebrows in pure anguish, as he nestled his face on your neck, crying silently. He enveloped your body in his arms and you quickly did the same.

"I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I'm in love with you and it scares me to death," he sobbed and your grip on him tightened.

"It's alright... I'm right here..."

You two stayed in that same position for a while, until he calmed down and his sobs stopped.

"What do I do now?" he asked, still laying his head on your chest.

"You do whatever makes you happy," you answered and he kissed your neck, and action that, from him, was already usual.

"Hubby! Can we go home?" Soojin opened the balcony's door, chuckling at the new nickname. Jungkook quickly stepped back and wiped the stray tears on his cheeks away. Sensing your stare on him, he sent you a tiny smile.

Soojin caught your gaze from behind Jungkook's shoulder and sent you a smile, which you retributed.

"Yes babe, let's go..." Jungkook answered after a while. He looked at you, the deepest look in his eyes that you had ever seen. He cupped your cheek as you two heard Soojin walking back inside, to say her goodbyes. “I’ll go now.”

“Please, don’t do this. If you don’t want to marry her, you don’t have to.”

“What do you want?”

You didn’t answer, opting to roll your arms tightly around his neck, as he held your waist, bringing your body impossibly closer to his.

“I love you, Jungkook,” you whispered. “, but this is a decision you have to make.”

And he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to break all the promises he had made to Soojin this past three years. He wasn’t ready to admit that all she was was a way to get to you. He wasn’t ready to admit that at some point in his life he had become a worthless and selfish jerk and that his life had been diminished to you. He wasn’t ready to break every single ethical moral and principle that he had been trying to live by all his life. This decision didn’t come to him, and only him. It came to you, to Soojin, to Mingyu and to everyone surrounding the four of you. It wasn’t his right to break his friends’ hearts and he wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it.

“I’m sorry.”

And he walked away.

[ad1thi]

one kiss (is all it takes)

strides in a year later with an iced latte) im back bitches. this is so so late it’s actually a joke, but finally - here’s part 3 of my greek gods au!! i lost steam for this series a while back, but i felt horrible about leaving you guys without any resolution - so i have slaved away and (hopefully) put together a conclusion to this series!! this series is now complete, though i’m not ruling out the possibility of revisiting it, perhaps if i get a commission or something. i hope you guys like it!!

//

Being back in Olympus is both deeply unsettling and achingly familiar at the same time. Bucky isn’t sure how much time has passed between the day he was kidnapped by Joann Schdmit and the current day, primarily because Gods were rarely fastidious about the passage of time, but also because it simply hadn’t occurred to Bucky to ruminate on it.

Olympus was his home yes, but more recently, home was wherever Tony was. Home is where the heart is,he thinks to himself, oddly fascinated by how the mortal phrase rang so true. 

They left Hel shortly after Tony was done repairing his vehicle, and it was a short trip back to Olympus.

“I call it a Quinjet,” he’d said, rubbing the outer surface like one might caress a lover, “but I’m not completely decided on the name yet.”

“Quinjet sounds good,” Bucky had replied, “I like it.” Tony had smiled at him then, wide and beaming for a precious couple of seconds, before he seemed to remember that he was keeping distance from Bucky and the smile had dimmed.

Most of their trip back to Olympus had continued on in a similar fashion. Whatever it was that Bucky shattered in Hel, it was feeling unfixable - despite Rhodey’s promises that Tony was warming up to Bucky, that he had a shot. It continually felt like they were taking two steps forward and five steps backwards, but even so - Bucky wouldn’t trade the precious time he got with Tony on the Quinjet for anything.

Especially now that he knows the minute they stepped foot in Olympus, Tony hid away in his workshop without so much as a goodbye. It can’t have been more than a few days since they returned back, and yet Bucky aches with the desire to chase down his husband, demand his time and affection.

A God’s place is sacred though, a sanctuary that not even a spouse may trespass on, so Bucky is resigned to waiting for Tony to re-emerge, hoping that he’ll get a chance to talk to Tony - or at the very least, an explanation about what he did wrong.

Distantly, he wonders if the mortals he paired together ever found it quite this hard to secure the one that their heart desires. He has newfound appreciation for the troubles of the men and women he would inspire love in, because he wasn’t doing them any favours - not if it felt like this.

//

“Bucky!” a voice behind him cries, and Bucky turns to see Steve running up to him, arms spread out and a wide grin on his face. Before Bucky can open his mouth to ask what Steve is doing here, or how he found Bucky, or even why it’s taken Steve this long to seek him out; he’s wrapped up in Steve’s arms, one hand reaching up to cradle his chin and pull him in for a kiss.

Bucky responds almost instinctively, over a thousand years of memorising each other’s bodies, or seeking comfort in each other’s arms rising to the surface and taking a hold of him. His one arm fits itself around Steve’s waist as Steve crumples his fingers in Bucky’s hair; long and curling around his shoulder because it’s been a while since he’s cut it.

Steve’s tongue flits out, tracing the edges of his lips, and Bucky lets him in, opens his mouth and lets Steve follow familiar passages; licking inside his mouth and making Bucky’s toes curl. It’s only when Steve’s other hand snakes down to palm his rear does Bucky realise what he’s doing; who he’s doing it with - and untangles himself from Steve; breaking off their kiss with a wet pop.

Steve leans forward; chasing his lips, eyes blinking open and brows furrowing when Bucky moves his hand to still him.

“Is something the matter my love?” Steve asks with a pout, tilting his head. There was a time in Bucky’s life when he found the tilt endearing, when Steve pouting his lips made him want to lean in and pull at the bottom lip with his teeth. Now, he feels vaguely nauseated.

“Buck, Is everything okay?” he must take too long to answer, because Steve reaches out, presumably to grip his shoulder and get Bucky’s attention; but Bucky flinches before he even makes contact. He knows from the way Steve stiffens, that the movement doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Buck?” he tries again, “Did something happen to you while you were imprisoned?”

Bucky laughs lowly, “So you noticed that did you? I wasn’t sure if you even missed my presence, since my husband had to come save me. I’ve been back on Olympus almost a month, and this is the first time you’ve sought me out.”

Steve ducks his head at that, looking contrite, and if this was another time, Bucky might feel guilty for making him look like that. Now though; Bucky is rapidly realising how betrayed he felt that Steve wasn’t the one to save him; emotions that he bottled up and set aside are bubbling and boiling over - and he doesn’t have it in him to care what Steve is feeling right now.

“I was caught up with Joann,” Steve spreads his hands helplessly, “You know how it is when one of our kids succeeds. You get swept up in it, never focusing on anything else.”

“Did you know?” he asks, because even though Tony said that he was unaware, even though there was nothing to indicate that Steve knew, Bucky needs to ask. He doesn’t think he’ll sleep if he doesn’t, “Did you know what Joann was going to do to me? Did you help him? Tell me when I was weakest, the easiest way to strike? ”

Steve looks at him with an indescribable expression, “Bucky! How could you ask me that?”

“I need to know, Steven. Answer the question.”

“I didn’t know,” Steve reaches out and grips Bucky’s hand, looking at him imploringly, “I promise on my Father, I didn’t know.”

Bucky doesn’t jerk out of his grip, but he does pull until Steve loosens his hold, “Then why did you never come for me?”

It’s a question that haunted Bucky, ever since the first days when he realised that he’d been kidnapped; that a demigod had gotten the better of him. Contrary to what mortals think, he doesn’t have a lot of pride. But that doesn’t mean he has none. He might not be old, but even Bucky knows that demigods don’t take down Gods; not without help.

Steve jerks away from him, and Bucky realises with sudden clarity that he’s ashamed. Bucky doesn’t think he’s ever seen Steve ashamed.

“I didn’t notice,” he finally spits out, “Is that what you wanted to hear Bucky? That I didn’t notice? That I was too caught up in my son’s achievements to notice his failings? Not even your absence could shake me away. He was doing so well, so fierce and powerful. I couldn’t -”

 He cuts off, lip curling, “It’s not an excuse, I know. But it’s all I’ve got. Is this what you wanted to hear?”

“No,” Bucky says honestly, “No it isn’t. But I needed to know. You understand that right? I needed to know.”

“Yeah I do,” Steve reaches for him again; and this time Bucky lets him, “I understand. I’m sorry. I truly am. Let me show you how much.”

“No I don’t -” Bucky grips his fingers around Steve’s wrist, stilling his hand’s descent, “I’ve had a lot of time to think Steve; during my time away. I don’t think we should do this anymore, I don’t think we should be us anymore. I’m married.”

Steve’s eyes narrow; and it’s been so long since Bucky has since his jealousy side, he’s forgotten how ugly it is, “That never stopped you before. You’ve been married over a thousand years Buck, you mean to tell me you’ve grown a conscience now?”

“Perhaps,” Bucky says, in a soft, placating tone, “Or perhaps I realised that there’s more to my husband than meets the eye. He did rescue me after all.”

“Oh so this is a pity fuck,” Steve says in a cruel tone, “You don’t owe him anything, you know that right. He’s still the same cripple you married 1000 years ago. He’s still the same God who spread his legs for anyone - “

Bucky thinks that Steve had more to say, but he doesn’t get to hear it, not when he lifts his hand and backhands him; hard enough that Steve staggers back clutching his cheek. He looks shocked, like he can’t believe what Bucky just did; but Bucky doesn’t care - he’s burning with anger.

“You would do well to watch your words Ares,” his voice drips with contempt, “that’s my husband you’re talking about. You have many liberties, but they don’t extend to the one I love.”

“So you love him now do you?” Steve’s bent over slightly; fingering touching his cheek; but the meek look does nothing to bely his words, “You always were easy Aphrodite, always so willing to bend over for the slightest morsel of affection.”

“I believe my husband told you to watch your tongue, Ares” says a voice behind them, and Bucky and Steve turn in unison to see Tony standing at the edge; leaning against a pillar, “If you don’t listen; I’ll have to take drastic measures. If memory serves, you didn’t do too well the last time you went up against me.”

It’s a low blow, to bring up the fight that almost tore Olympus apart; Tony and Steve raging at each other with the full might of their stations. Many lives were lost in the midst of their feud; and it was only Father promising Bucky’s hand in marriage to Tony that stayed the bloodshed. It’s an extremely low blow; one that Bucky wouldn’t have expected from Tony - but he can’t find it in him to be upset that Tony used it.

Steve sticks his tongue out like he wants to say something; but wisely doesn’t. Tony walks up to Bucky in purposeful strides; and wraps one hand around his bicep. It’s a distinctly possessive move; and Bucky can feel Steve’s eyes burning against the move - but they all know there’s nothing that Steve can do.

Finally, Steve straightens his back and turns on his heel, “Yes my lord,” he says in a formal tone; at complete odds with the way he’s holding himself. “I apologise Aphrodite, I spoke out of turn.”

Bucky nods, once; and Steve walks away, not giving either of them a second glance. A small part of Bucky aches; that this is how 1000 years ends, but he can’t bring himself to regret it. Perhaps how it ended, but never that it ended. Not if it lead to Tony curling his hand around Bucky’s bicep; marking Bucky as his.

“Did you mean it?” Tony asks suddenly, after Steve is gone from sight, “What you said to Steve?”

“I did,” Bucky says honestly, turning to Tony so that he can face him completely, “I tried to tell you, before we reached Olympus - but I could never find the words. And after …” he trails off, gesturing vaguely to indicate the way Tony had all but run away from him.

“You love me?” Tony asks, with no small amount of wonder in his voice, and Bucky doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for the way he treated Tony, for the way Tony is still questioning his every move.

He cups Tony’s face, tilting it up slightly so that Tony can look inside his eyes and feel his sincerity, “I cannot make up for the last 1000 years. There’s no excuse, nothing I can say that will ever rationalise what I did to you; how I treated you. I was vindictive about being married off like chattel, and I took it out on you when I shouldn’t have. It was wrong; and if you allow me - I will spend the rest of my time making it up to you. I love you, my lord; utterly and completely and fully.”

Tony searches his face, and he must find what he’s looking for, because he breaks out into a tentative smile, “You love me.”

“I do,” Bucky rubs his thumb against Tony’s cheek softly, “God help me I do.”

Tony leans up on his toes, and brings their lips together; a chaste, innocent kiss. Bucky is the God of Love; he’s been with the most wanton and unscrupulous of lovers. He’s lain with more people he can count, felt thousands of different lips against his.

His husband’s however, might be his favourite.

Fin

//

tagging list: (im sorry if i missed anyone):  @wecollectnightmares, @imposter-human, @goldenmoonbeam, @crazy4thewinbros, @error-name-not-in-this-dimension, @slashupmylife, @bonniepacheco, @lionheartwithnoking, @moon6shadow, @mrunaliniraman, @starkwannabe @wintersoldierland, @theavengays, @nightwingingthis, @bonniepacheco, @lionheartwithnoking, @mbakusbae, @invisibleanonymousmonsters, @firebrands, @omg-just-peachy, @starkrogerrs, @spiderrpcrker,  @marvelmalady, @amessoffeels, @afellowstargazingdreamer, @sweet-cherry-boy, @aboreal-elm-ash-oak, @tinystankdefensesquad, @lovelyirony,@s-horne,  @winteriron-trash, @shetlandowl, @angxlsgrxce, @diazalex, @lovingtony3000, @kimannhart, @oddone92, @sleepyoldchild, @riotfalling,  @thefluffyboi, @stcrkly, 

[galactichen]

stay with me | lee minho

prompt #99. “Would it help if I stayed?”

description. in a moment of vulnerability, you open up to your best friend about your feelings over your ex-boyfriend, leading to something new that might blossom between the two of you.

pairing. lee minho x neutral reader

genre. angst. platonic themes, hint of romance? lapslock!

word count. 1.3k

author’s note. this might not be the best,,, i’m still in a bit of a slump but i had to get my feelings out :( haven’t been feeling great lately, sorry for the lack of writings.

warning. explicit language.

“do you ever just… think about how peculiar it is that we can have the most intimate relationship with someone one day and then act like total strangers the next?”

“...this is about changbin, isn’t it?”

minho sighs when you don’t respond, which gives him a clear answer: yes, this was about your ex-boyfriend, seo changbin, who broke up with you almost six months ago.

that day remains clear as day in his head, so vivid that sometimes he wonders if it really was six months ago. for a memory so potent, he often forgets it wasn’t just yesterday.

“he broke up with me,” you cried into the phone when minho finally picked up after almost tossing his room upside down to find the damned device. “that fucking seo changbin,” you seethed.

“he what?” was the only thing minho could muster. he felt his free hand clench into a fist. that bastard—minho briefly made a mental note to clock him in the head the next time he saw him. well, that’s if he ever saw the guy again.

“i can’t believe it, minho.” your voice dropped down to a whisper. the way your voice broke as you spoke, the way your breathing was laboured, and the way minho heard every hiccup, every sniffle—it shattered his heart into a million pieces. “i… i knew it was coming, but i didn’t think it would hurt this much.”

“i’m coming over,” minho finally said after a moment of silence. he dashed out of his room, turning a blind eye to his old sweatpants and hoodie that he wore. fuck it, there was no fucking time to waste changing into something more presentable when you were probably drowning in your feelings right this instant. 

now in the kitchen, he began raiding his pantry for snacks; from popcorn to cookies, from chips to even a small tub of ice cream in his freezer. 

“what? no you’re not, it’s almost-”

“midnight, i know, but changbin’s a dick for breaking your heart like that and i know a bitch needs some comfort and that bitch is you,” minho huffed, dumping his armful of post-breakup snacks into one of his reusable grocery bags (because minho was a good college boy who refused to use plastic bags). 

“...i guess i can’t say no to that, can i?”

“nope,” minho replied. “give me ten minutes.”

minho sighs, opening his eyes to the ceiling of his bedroom where the two of you are currently crashed on his bed, laying on your backs with your limbs splayed out with no care in the world. one of his arms is awkwardly bent around your head while one of yours rests on his chest, your legs also overlapping each other at the foot of the bed.

“it’s been twelve weeks since we last spoke,” you begin. your voice is soft, and minho finds his eyes fluttering shut once more to the sound of your voice. it’s always brought him a sense of comfort, hearing you speak, no matter the subject. “probably more like twenty since we last had an actual conversation, since i was always messaging him first—whether or not he’d actually respond was always a surprise.”

“i told you like a million times already,” minho hisses with a gentle flick to the crown of your head, “stop wasting your time on someone who clearly doesn’t appreciate your efforts in salvaging whatever friendship you guys had left.”

“i know,” you whisper, “i should’ve listened to you.”

“you really should have,” minho huffs with a light roll of his eyes. “anyways, continue.”

“i recently started having dreams about him. fun dreams. like what life could have been like if we never broke up six months ago,” you say. you shift beside him, rolling so your back faces him now. he’d never admit it, but the absence of your body against his leaves minho feeling rather … empty. “everytime i woke up, i’d wake up to a reality where he’s gone and i’m alone. but last night… i recently discovered he deleted his social media. all of our conversations, gone. all of our memories together, gone. i mean, i’ve never even opened up our messages since we stopped talking—so why am i feeling like this again? my stomach is twisting with unease, and sometimes i find it harder to breathe with my chest feeling so… light? i’m not sure how to describe it.

“i used to be his whole world, his universe. we talked day and night back in the day. he was one of the only people i remember ever sacrificing sleep for just to talk to. i opened up to him. i let out all my secrets to him. am i… am i nothing to him? am i that forgettable that he can just leave like that? i feel as if he just snipped the final thread that bound us together, and now i’m spiralling into the abyss. i saw friends posting like nothing happened, and i felt lonelier than ever. it’s like… it’s like it’s just me against the world, minho.”

minho sighs, reaching up to rub at his eyes before turning onto his side. slowly, he leans forward, pressing his forehead between your shoulder blades gently. a strange gesture, but one he always did in moments like these when he needed to reassure you that he was listening and needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

“i even…” your voice comes out strained this time, and immediately minho reaches forward to wrap his arms around your form, pulling you back against his chest comfortingly. “i even told him i was afraid he’d leave me just like everyone else does. so many people have left my life. i was hoping he wouldn’t be one of them, and yet in the end—he did. he left. it hurts. it hurts so much, minho.”

“people will walk in and out of your life constantly,” minho says softly. tentatively, he rests a hand gently on your stomach, rubbing it slowly in a comforting manner—or at least, what he hoped would be a source of comfort. “you just have to remember that their departure is only another door of opportunity that opens for you… for newer, better people to enter your life.”

suddenly, your elbow is pulled forward before reeling back to strike minho’s side in a bit of a playful jab and minho lets out a quiet oof. immediately, he props himself up on his elbow and glares at you when your head turns to meet his gaze from where his head hovers slightly above yours.

“when did you get so wise, huh?” you ask with a smile, though it doesn’t take minho long to tell that it’s a rather forced smile, straining against the sadness that envelops your heart. 

at that, his lips curl into a small smile—but not one of happiness, no. more like… a sorrowful one.

“you learn to pick up some things here and there,” minho whispers. “especially with someone like you.”

this time, your eyes curl into the familiar eye-smile, and suddenly it feels as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. oh, for you to find happiness once more—that’s all minho wants, really. he’s always known you were one to get attached to others easily, often breaking down when they drift and leave without warning. 

your loyalty to others was indeed both a blessing and a curse.

he’s pulled out of his thoughts when you shift in his arms so you’re laying on your back once more, with minho still hovering over your body rather awkwardly. hesitantly, you reach up and brush a stray strand of hair from his eyes.

“you don’t have to promise me that you’ll stay by my side forever like this, minho,” you murmur. your fingers trail from his brows, to his cheek, to his neck, before finally coming to rest upon his shoulder. “but just for tonight, will you stay with me?”

minho finds himself nodding without hesitation. of course, you fucking dummy, he thinks to himself.

it’s tempting to say it out loud, but what he says instead is, “would it… help if i stayed?”

“mhm.”

“then of course.”

we’ll walk together along the road to recovery, were his unsaid words that night.

their departure from your life is only a step closer to something… or someone greater.

[kpop---scenarios]

Bad Habits

This was requested by a lovely lady! 

Moodboard was done by the beautiful: @lovely-kpopp-blog​

Pairing: Chanyeol x reader/ Siwon x reader/ Surprisr x reader. 

Warning: Cheating, SMUT, light stalking, swearing. 

Word Count: 11.9k 

Everyone has bad habits, whether its smoking, drinking, drugs, or stealing. 

 And others, like you, it just so happens to be sleeping with a man who is engaged. You never planned on being a mistress, in fact you had always hated those who cheated, but everything that happened in your life led you up to where you are now. 

Always remember, there’s two sides to every story.

All your life you’d looked up to the man who raised you, your father. He was a king to you, the one who would always be there for you, the one who scared away the monsters. He was the one who protected you from all the scary things as you grew up. He was there for you everyday when you got home from school with a warm smile on his face and his arms outright, ready to embrace you. 

Until one day he wasn’t there. And the next day he wasn’t. It had been months since you had seen your father, and your mother refused to talk about it. She would only shake her head and weep if you brought him up, so eventually you stopped asking. Until about a year later, when you were 18, you had gotten a phone call from him. He wanted to see you and explain his absence. You were hesitant, rightfully so bit you ultimately agreed to meet him. 

A part of you was excited to finally see him after countless returned letters, and unanswered phone calls. You arrive at the coffee shop he suggested meeting at and the first thing you see is a smile that you would recognize anywhere. Your father, was laughing with another woman. He had his arms wrapped around a woman that was not your mother, and that’s when it hit you. 

He really had been cheating on your mom. He had really left her for a younger woman. You wanted to deny it all this time, refusing to believe that your father would do anything like that. Until now, when it smacked you in the face and you couldn’t fight back the tears. As your father waved at you, anger immediately took over your body. You stomped over there, the tears flowing. Your dads smiling face faltered to confused and upset, seeing you in the state you were in. 

“Y/N, what’s.. “ he began before you cut him off. 

 “So this is why you disappeared? You left mom and I for some fucking hussy" you spit, gesturing to the woman who now looked uncomfortable. 

 “Its not what you think" your father tried to explain. “Just let me explain" he tries.  

“Fucking save it" you spit. “I don’t want to see you ever again" you cry. Turning around you storm out of the shop, running down the sidewalk, blinded by your tears. 

 You hadn’t seen your father in 7 years. It’s not as though he hadn’t tried to reach out to you. He tried constantly for the last 7 years, including the other day, but you refused.

Now you were happy. You had put enough of your past with your father behind you to have a relatively healthy relationship and did your best to trust him. You and Chanyeol had been together for almost 3 years and you’d never been happier. 

You had just transferred to a new company, and he was the first person to show you around and be nice to you. After that first day, you always ate lunch together, you went out on weekends, went for coffee. You two were constantly together. You had fallen fast and easily for him. You were hesitant when he asked you to be his girlfriend because you weren’t sure if you could trust him. 

Would he hurt you? Would he treat you right? Would he leave you? All those questions swarmed your head, but despite all your hesitations, you said yes. And you were so glad you did. 

 The life you had built with him was so amazing. You were beyond happy and could see a life going further with him. He had recently been bringing up the possibility of marriage and children and your heart fluttered. You were happy. 

You were, until tonight. 

You had been working a little later than usual, It was a Sunday, but your boss had needed you to come in and help him with some case studies. Being a secretary to a lawyer was exhausting. You worked long hours, most days. However, he was going away for a few weeks so that meant you had some paid time off, and you couldn’t wait. You sent Chanyeol a quick message telling him you’d be home around 9pm and he replied he wanted to have a movie night and cuddle. After the week you had, you looked forward to it immensely. 

To your surprise, you had finished work rather early, around 7pm. You happily packed up your belongings and head home on the bus. You only lived a few blocks away from work, which was handy but you weren’t in the best neighborhood so the bus was a safer option for you. 

 You were excited as you walked up the stairs to your front door. 

 You were excited as you turned your key in the lock. 

 You were happy as you slipped off your heels and your jacket, before reaching around and unhooking your bra, taking it off and throwing it onto the couch. 

 You were happy until you noticed another bra on the couch. One that definitely did not belong to you.

 You were happy until you heard the familiar moans of Chanyeol. Him growling the same words he said to you as he fucked you. The same names he called you in and out of bed. 

You burst through the door, to find Chanyeol fucking some  girl from behind. 

More specifically, your best friend. 

“Y/N. It’s not what it looks like" she cries as Chanyeol pulls out of her quickly, scrambling off the bed. 

 “I can explain baby" he huffs, finding anything he could use to cover himself up with. 

 At this point you were numb. You just stared at the two people in the world you thought would never hurt you. The two people you thought you could trust with anything. They knew your past. They knew you had a hard time trusting people, but these were the only two that you had opened up too, spilling your deepest, darkest secrets. You told everything to them. 

“How could you?” you ask. You want to cry. You want to scream, but you couldn’t. “After everything I’ve told you. You knew everything about my past and you go and do this? The two people I’ve trusted the most betray me in the worst possible way.” You whisper. 

 “Please Y/N, please let me explain. It was a mistake. It was never supposed go happen" Minsoo, your best friend.. ex best friend cries. 

 “Really? Then what was supposed to happen?” you spit, the rage finally building up. You clench your fists, tightly. How dare they try to excuse this? 

 “He called me a few weeks ago to help him plan the proposal he was going to do.” she whispers. 

 “So it’s been going on a few weeks?” you scoff. “You claim you love me and want to propose and have fucking children with me, but you can’t keep your fucking cock in your pants?” 

“She kissed me first! She said how she wished she had a man like me!” Chanyeol yells, in an attempt to defend himself. 

 “Why didn’t you just, I don’t know.. push her off? Or are you just fucking clueless?” you scoff. “And a man like him?” you ask, pointing to Minsoo. “So what, you just decide to take him for yourself like the greedy bitch you are?” 

 “I never meant too..” Minsoo begins before Chanyeol cuts her off. 

 “We can work through this.. all of us. We can put it behind us. We can get married and I will stay away from Minsoo" Chanyeol offers. 

 “Or.. you can both get fucked. Oh wait, looks like you’ve already done that.” You spit, storming out of the room. 

 Everything was blurry, you could barely see through your tears. Somehow you ended up a nightclub. The music blaring, women smiling as they danced on men, who would likely fuck them over. 

As you ordered your fourth tequila shot, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. What the fuck, is all you could think. You huffed as you pulled your phone out of your pocket. 

71 missed calls. 104 new messages. 

You read a few from Chanyeol. 

 Please baby. 

 I’m so sorry. 

 I love you. 

 And you read a few from Minsoo. 

 It was a mistake. 

 I can’t lose you over a guy. 

 Please talk to me. 

You scoffed at both of them. They were likely still at the apartment, telling each other what to say. You wished them well. You were sure she would end up knocked up by him, he would cheat again and leave her to take care of their kid. They had a bright future together. 

 Tossing your phone on the bar, you groaned as you dropped your head into your hands. You wanted to scream and curse, but instead you looked up and ordered another shot. 

 “You okay?” the man beside you asked, sipping on his drink. 

 “No" you say, your eyes still shut.  

“Ahh. Trouble in paradise?” he chuckles. 

 “Paradise?” you laugh. “You mean hell? I caught my boyfriend and my best friend fucking in my bed tonight.” You declare. 

 “Fuck, they sound shitty" He sighs. “Bartender, another round for my friend here" he says. 

You look at him, seeing an extremely handsome face. His suit was tight, showing off his large muscle. “Shitty? Try tasteless, foul, sleazy scums of the earth.” You say. 

 He laughs. “Fair enough. Could I interest you in a dance? Maybe take your mind off things, at least temporary” he offers. 

 “I don’t even know your name" you say, looking him straight in the eyes. 

 “Choi Siwon" he answers, extending his hand to you. 

 “Y/N L/N" you say, returning the shake. “If you buy me another drink, I’ll consider it" you smirk, raising an eyebrow. 

 “Bartender. Two more shots please” he smiles, his eyes never leaving your face. 

Twenty minutes later, you’re doing your best to casually walk out of the men’s bathroom, your lipstick smeared and your hair a mess. You try to adjust yourself, to make it look like you hadn’t just been fucked hard. 

 As you’re walking through the small hallway, a smile forms on your face as your think about what happened only minutes ago, and what led up to that moment. 

*You and Siwon taking a shot, your eyes never losing contact. 

 You licking your lips as you stare at his. 

 Him cocking his eyebrow as he puts his hand on your thigh, slowly rubbing his fingers up and down. 

 You getting off the barstool, excusing yourself to the bathroom and ‘accidently’ rubbing your ass against him. You peering over your shoulder as you walk away, your hips swaying. 

Siwon grinning as he quickly follows you. 

 Him grabbing your shoulder and spinning you around before you’re able to walk into the women’s bathroom, nudging his knee in-between your legs, your wrist pinned against the wall. 

 “You sure about this?” he had asked you. 

 “Fuck me" you whined.*

Sitting on the same barstool, your pussy aches for more as you think about how he sat you on the sink and hiked up your skirt before moving your panties to the side. His tounge licking you, his mouth sucking your clit. The way he only undid his pants enough to allow his cock to spring free, before entering you raw. The way his large hand clamped itself over your mouth, as he pounded his cock into you. 

 You ached for more. However, he had disappeared after you had left the bathroom. What ever happened to the dance you were supposed to get?  You assumed he had just gotten what he wanted and you were now going to head back to your apartment to deal with the shit show that was your life now. Nodding at the bartender, you just want to pay your tab now and get this shitty conversation over as quickly as you could.  

“I’d like to pay my tab" you half slur. 

 The bartender chuckles. “It’s been taken care of, by your friend. This is also for you" he tells you, sliding a napkin towards you. 

 Opening it up you see a phone number with a short message. ‘Let’s do it again. 2262836375. - S' 

 A smile plasters over your face as you shove the note into your bra, getting up to head out. Arriving back at your apartment, you’re met by a crying Chanyeol and Minsoo, both still crying but finally dressed. 

 “Is there a reason you’re both still crying on my fucking couch?” 

 “We’re too distraught to do anything else” Minsoo cries. 

 “Well you can both do whatever the fuck you want. I’m grabbing your shit and you can get out.” You snap at Chanyeol, walking into the bedroom. 

 You’re immediately disgusted as you stare at the bed you once shared with Chanyeol. It was once a special place for the two of you, the secrets you shared, the laughter, the tears. It was all now tainted by the two people you trusted most. Now you were going to have to burn it. After grabbing everything he had left there, you roll his suitcase out into the living room, where the two are still sitting on the couch, crying. 

 “Please Y/N. I love you" Chanyeol says, looking at you with the puppy dog eyes that used to melt your heart. 

And now you just felt rage. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked my best friend. Sorry, ex best friend" you spit, glaring at Minsoo. “I hope the two of you have a terrible fucking life together. You deserve it. Now get the fuck out" you snap, practically shoving the two of them out the door. “Fuck you" you smile at both of them before slamming the door. 

You slide down, bringing your knees to your chest. You didn’t want to cry, you were a badass bitch. What you needed was another distraction. You pulled the napkin from your bra, looking at the note from Siwon again. You pulled out your phone, deleting all the messages from Chanyeol and Minsoo that were begging you to forgive them. You type in Siwon's number, sending him a quick text, wondering why he gave you his number after he disappeared right after he got what he wanted. 

 [2:05am] You: Why would you leave your number, if you just left right after we were finished? – Y/N 

 [2:07am] Siwon: I didn’t disappear, you left me. I felt rather hurt and betrayed, if I’m being honest.

 [2:09am] You: When I turned around you were gone. If anyone should be hurt and betrayed, it should be me. 

 [2:10am] Siwon: Let me make it up to you. Dinner this Thursday? 

 You smiled as you reread his text. You really shouldn’t be doing this, considering you just got out of a serious relationship. However, what better way to get over someone than to get under someone new?

[2:12am] You: Sounds good. 

[2:14am] I’ll text you details later. Get some sleep, beautiful.   

You plugged your phone in before grabbing spare blankets and a pillow from your closet. You would have to get rid of your bed tomorrow and all your favorite sheets and pillows.

** 

 Monday you had a hard time concentrating due to your phone constantly buzzing with pleas from Chanyeol for you to just sit down and meet with him. You finally turned your phone off. You didn’t want to see him face to face yet. 

Tuesday was the same.

And so was Wednesday. 

 You finally decided Thursday you would meet up with him after work, since dinner with Siwon wasn’t until 8pm. You sat in the café with your hands wrapped around a coffee mug. You had gotten there 20 minutes early and had yet to have a drink of your almost cold beverage. You felt like your stomach was going to drop from the anticipation of Chanyeol’s arrival. 

 The moment you saw him, you felt like you might actually end up punching him in the face. He looked worn out. His hair was a mess and greasy, the bags under his eyes made him look like he hadn’t slept in days. 

 “Hi” he whispered as his slide into the seat across from you. 

 “Hello" you answered back, avoiding eye contact. 

You stared at your mug, finally decided to at least have a sip. Your mouth was dry. “I don’t know what you want me to say to you. And there isn’t really much you can say to me to make this better, Chanyeol.” 

“I know I can’t make it better. But I want to at least try to have you forgive me, or explain my actions.” He says, maintaining eye contact. 

 “Say what you need too" 

 “I firstly want to apologize again. It was never my intention to do that. You need to know, I do truly love you. I did try to refuse and get her to stop but she told me you were seeing someone else and that it could be payback.” He tells you. “I realize now she just said that to get me into bed. I’m not excusing my actions, I should have known better" 

 “Yeah you should have. I never cheated on you. I never once even thought about it. You knew how I felt about cheating. How I watched my mom suffer because of my fathers infidelity.” 

 “I never wanted to make you feel like that. At the time I was hurt and confused and thought of it as revenge.” Chanyeol whispers. 

 “Well that’s just stupid. I thought you knew me better than that. Guess I was wrong.” You say.  

“Is there anyway we can start over? Clean slate?” he wonders. 

 “No. There’s nothing you could ever do to make me trust you again. Frankly I don’t even want to be around you. Goodbye, Chanyeol" you finish, standing up and walking out the door with your head held high. 

Going home, you sat on your couch for a few minutes, trying to process what he had said. Could you trust him again? Possibly. Did you want to trust him again and be with him? Absolutely not. 

 Standing up, you take a few deep breaths, getting rid of the sadness you were feeling over a lost 3 year relationship. You walked towards your room, plugging your phone in and began to play a playlist that made you feel good. You opened up your closet, deciding what to wear tonight. 

You had no idea where the two of you were going, so you opted for a red dress with spaghetti straps and an open back. It fell mid thigh and hugged your curve perfectly, while the back was a little looser. You decided on no panties tonight. Dancing your way into the bathroom, you sing along to one of your favorite songs, All I Wanna Do by Jay Park. You did a smoky eye and red lipstick to complete your look. 

You took your hair from the bun you had it in for work, letting your hair flow down into a natural look. Glancing at the clock, you see it’s about 20 minutes until your date. You walk to your phone, checking to see is Siwon had messaged you, and he did. He told you the location was a surprise but he asked for your address to pick you up. You sent him your location before heading back to your closet to pick a pair of shoes. You decided to go for a pair of black pumps that accentuated your legs. 

 Grabbing your purse, you head down to the front of your building to wait for his arrival. A part of you wanted to go to dinner, get drunk and eat some good food with some pretty good company. But the other part of you, the dirty girl wanted to have Siwon in between your legs again, instead. As a car pulled up, the passenger side window rolled down, revealing a smiling Siwon. 

“Well hello there" 

 “Hi" you smile, climbing into the front seat. 

 “You look amazing” Siwon purrs, eyeing your body. 

 “Well thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself" you say, buckling yourself in. “So where are we going?” you ask. Your curiosity was definitely getting the best of you. 

 “It’s a surprise" he winks. 

 “I also have a surprise for you" you say in a seductive whispe, feeling brave. New you, new attitude. 

"Oh? And what’s that?” he asks. 

 “I’ll have to show you" you smirk, grabbing his hand from his lap while you part your legs, placing his hand on your bare pussy. “Surprise” you say. 

 You didn’t know what it was about Siwon. You had only known him for a few days, your relationship with Chanyeol freshly over, and here you were being a hoe for a man you didn’t know at all. But yet, you couldn’t help it. He brought the dirty girl in you out to play. The adventurous one that you couldn’t be with Chanyeol because he was to nervous about being caught. You needed the excitement of possibly being caught, you loved the thrill of fucking anywhere you wanted. And that’s what you got with Siwon. 

 “Oh fuck. You’re a dirty one, aren’t you?” he asks with a smirk. “You’re going to be the death of me" he says, as he begins rubbing your clit. “I don’t think we’re going to make dinner" he growls, pulling the car over on the side of a relatively busy street. “Backseat" he demands. 

 Giddy like a child on Christmas morning, you got out of the front, moving your way to the backseat. Before you can even close the door to the backseat, Siwon has your dress almost ripped off. His moves your bra out of the way, sucking harshly on one of your nipples as he massages the other one. You throw your head back as you begin to palm his already hard cock through his pants. Likely from your stunt a few minutes ago. 

“What do you want baby?” he growls, nipping at your earlobe. 

 “Your cock. Let me suck your cock" you moan, needing to feel it down your throat. 

 “Fuck" he says, undoing his pants and yanking them down quickly. His cock springs free, and you immediately lean forward, licking the red tip. “Shit. Don’t tease" he begs, bucking his hips, needing you to suck it harder. 

You wrap your lips around his cock, swallowing as much of him as you can take before bringing your head back up, keeping your cheeks sucked together. Using your tounge you swirl it around as you continue to bob your head up and down, while massaging his balls. 

 “Fuck" he hisses, bucking his hips once again, shoving his cock down your throat even more. Before you can lick your lips, his mouth is on yours, and he’s leaning you back. He grabs your legs, bringing them up as high as he can before lining himself up with your entrance. 

 “Dirty girl" he purrs, slowly entering you. His cock stretching you out, filling you up more than you ever have had before. 

“Oh my god" you cry out, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head. “Your cock feels so good" you moan, as Siwon begins thrusting himself into you. 

 “Do you want me to fuck you hard and fast?” he pants. 

“Yes, please” you cry. Siwon slams his cock into you slowly but harshly, jolting your body with every thrust. You reach in between your legs, rubbing your clit, chasing the anticipated high you know is coming. Your legs stiffen as his grip tightens around your ankles, pounding into as hard as he can, needing his release just as much as you. His thrusts become erratic and slow down right as your orgasm washes through your body, tingling you everywhere, his following not far behind. 

As Siwon pulls himself out of you, you both sat in the back huffing, your bodies sweating. “You’re going to be an adventure” he laughs. “I can feel it" he finishes, getting himself dressed as you put your dress back on. “Would you still like to go for dinner?” he asks, slipping his shoes on. 

 “Absolutely. I’m famished.” You smile, slipping your stilettos on before getting back into the front seat. Arriving at the restaurant, you immediately know the place. 

Chanyeol took you here often. He always paid as he had a way better paying job than you. You groaned at the sight of it. 

“What was that groan for?” he asks. 

 “This is a very expensive restaurant” you mutter. He laughs. 

You like his laugh. 

 “It is” he states. “What’s the problem?”  

“I can’t afford it" you say, embarrassed. 

 “Did you really think I was going to make you pay? I wouldn’t have asked you out if I expected you to pay for yourself. Order whatever your little heart desires. I got it" he winks, grabbing your hand to take you inside. 

 The two of you are seated in a semi private section, where it’s not so loud. As the waiter hands you your menu’s Siwon checks to see what kind of wine you like before ordering the most expensive bottle. 

Chanyeol would always order what he liked and you would either have to drink it or just have your water. You smile as you read the menu. Finally you’d be able to order for yourself. It’s not that Chanyeol was controlling or abusive, he just had a habit of ordering for you while you were at restaurants. He always insisted you’d love what he picked and sometimes you did, sometimes you didn’t. He wanted you to try new things. 

 Your wine is poured for you, and you and Siwon place your orders. He orders another expensive thing, along with an appetizer for the two of you to share. Of course he made sure you liked what he picked before he ordered it. It was different, and you liked it. 

 “So what do you do to be able to afford such a luxury as a place like this?” you ask, taking a sip of your white wine. 

“I’m a lawyer. Defense attorney” he tells you. 

 “Really? I work for a defense attorney, as his secretary.” You tell him. 

“Who?” 

 “Kim Junmyeon" as the name slips from your mouth, Siwon’s face turns sour. 

“You work for that fuckbag?” he scoffs. “He’s such an ass and well..” he pauses. 

“Well what?” you ask. 

 “I’m not really supposed to say" he admits. 

 “Tell me" you pressure him with a dazzling smile. 

 “He’ll be getting fired, tomorrow actually" Siwon tells you. 

 “What? So I’ll be out of a job until they find someone new?” you ask, not really asking him but more yourself. “Well shit that sucks" you groan, drinking the rest of your wine in one sip. 

 “They’ve actually already found someone" he says, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Who?” you ask. 

“Me" he chuckles. 

 “You? You’re going to be my be my new boss?” you ask, trying not to choke.

 He just nods his head. 

 “Well I guess this ends here. I can’t be fucking my boss" you say with a sigh. 

 “I’ll make an exception and let it slide. I’m sure you’ll be a very attentive secretary” he winks.

“I can assure you, I will be there for your every need" you say, licking your lips. 

The two of you are there for a few hours, laughing, eating and just all around having a wonderful time. As Siwon gets up to use the bathroom, you hear someone clear their throat from beside your table. Looking up, you’re met with the angry eyes of Chanyeol. 

 “Who the fuck is that?” he snaps, quietly as to not make a scene. 

 “What does it matter to you?” You ask, looking past him, you see Minsoo sitting at a table by herself avoiding eye contact. You notice Chanyeol’s jacket on the chair across from her. The one you had gotten for him for his birthday last year. 

“So what, are you two together now?” you ask, resting your chin on the palm of your hand. 

 “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you seem to have moved on, awfully quick.” He says. “Maybe she was right and you were fucking someone while we were together.” He snarls. 

 “Oh fuck off Chanyeol. It’s okay for you to be dating the girl you cheated on me with but god forbid I go on a date with someone" you scoff. 

 “When did you meet him?” he asks. 

 “The night I caught you fucking her" you say. “Anymore questions?” 

 “Did you fuck him that night?” 

 “Maybe I did. Why does it matter to you? Do you want to know all the details? How many times he made me cum? What do you want?” you snap. 

 “You’re such a fucking whore" he spits. Right as he finishes his sentence, Siwon was at the table. 

“Is there a problem here?” he asks, his voice low and annoyed. 

 “Not at all. Just wondering why my girlfriend is on a date with someone else" Chanyeol says, his eyes never leaving you. 

 “Ahh. Is this him?” he asks you. 

You nod your head. 

“I believe she’s your ex girlfriend. Because you know, you fucked her best friend” Siwon says, his eyes dark. 

 “I’d like to finish my conversation with her, alone” Chanyeol says, looking at Siwon annoyed. 

 “I don’t think so. She doesn’t seem to be interested in hearing your shitty excuses for your shitty behavior” Siwon tells him. “Now you better be getting back to your date and leaving mine alone before there is a problem" Siwon says, waving the waiter over. Siwon hands him a credit card to pay the bill, not even knowing the cost. 

 “I’ll be seeing you later " Chanyeol mutters to you, his eyes wide, before glaring at Siwon. 

 “Not likely” Siwon says, grabbing his card from the waiter before helping you up and wrapping his arm around your waist to guide you out of the restaurant and that situation. But before you left, you made eye contact with Minsoo on your way out. "Just so you know, your loser, cheating boyfriend begged me to take him back today. Enjoy your dinner, fuckers" 

Everyone else stared at you in horror, as Siwon laughed the two of you out of the restaurant. 

"Are you okay?” he asks once you’re back in the car. 

 “I’m fine. I just don’t know why I’ve let him get under my skin like that.” You say, annoyed. 

 “Would you like me to take you home?” 

 “Please.” You sigh. As he pulls up outside your apartment, he puts the car in park before turning off the engine. “He seems rather unstable” Siwon blurts out. 

“He does, doesn’t he? I wasn’t sure if it was just me" you say, looking him in the eyes. 

 “Do you think he’d come here tonight?” he wonders. 

 “I’m not sure. I wouldn’t be surprised to be honest.” You say, a little terrified to be alone tonight. 

 “I can stay with you, if you’d like?” He offers. “Only if you want. No pressure" 

“Please. I’m a little nervous to be alone tonight” you mumble. Siwon smiles as he gets out of the car, following you up your stairs to your door. Walking into your apartment, Siwon looks around as you go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Placing your glass in the sink, Siwon slides his hands onto your hips, working their way up your to rest on your stomach.  

“You can keep going up" you breathe. Siwon moves his hands up, cupping your breasts. 

“Are you not wearing a bra?” he asks. 

 “I didn’t put it back on after you fucked me in your car” you huff as he pinches your now perky nipples. 

 “How did I not notice that?” he growls, nuzzling his face into your neck, peppering it was kisses. 

 “Clearly you’re not very observant” you moan as he bites and sucks on your earlobe.

 Siwon grips your hips, setting you down on the counter. He moves himself in between your legs, leaning himself in close to you. You had thought he was leaning in for a kiss, but his hand reached behind you, turning on the kitchen sink. You look at him with an eyebrow raised as he chuckles at you.

 “Trust me" he whispers, checking to make sure the water was not too hot. Flipping a switch, Siwon grabs the hose while also turning your body around to face to sink. He smirks as he spreads your legs and then your lips, before placing the hard water stream over your clit. 

 “Oh my god” you shudder, your head hanging back as you clench your entire body. “Fuck that feels amazing" you cry out. 

 “Mhm I thought you might like it" Siwon groans, as he watches you come undone by the pulsating water. Your hand grips his bicep as you begin to feel like you’re about to explode. “How do you like this?” he asks before he inserts two fingers into you, pumping them in and out as the water hits the right spot everytime. 

 “Fuck I think I’m going to cum" you scream, everything becoming too much. Siwon quickens his pace as you scream out, your orgasm tearing through your body. You’re trying to catch your breath as he turns the water off and places you on the floor, bent over the counter. Your legs feel like jello, but he keeps a hand on you as he pulls down his pants, freeing his throbbing cock. 

 Siwon lines himself up with you, pushing his way in, hard, allowing you no time to rest. “Fuck baby girl" he grunts as he holds his shirt up, and you while slamming his thick cock into your pussy. 

Weakly, you reach your hand up, gripping the counter top, trying to keep yourself from collapsing. Siwon releases your body from his hand and wraps it around you, reaching down to rub your clit. The overstimulation is almost too much as you cry out, still tender from the massive orgasm you just had. 

 “Please" you whimper, Siwon doesn’t slow his pace down as he pounds himself into you and rubs your clit fiercely. “I can’t. Please” you cry out, wanting to cum but also wanting and needing to not. 

“Tell me to stop and I will" he growls, his pace slowing. 

 “Don’t stop, oh god" you scream, your second orgasm coming so quickly. 

 “You gunna cum for me baby" he growls, his pace picking up again. 

 “Yes yes" you scream, your eyes tightly closed as it washes through your body, again. Your eyes remain closed as Siwon finishes fucking you, releasing his hot cum inside of you, coating your walls. 

 Exhausted, you drag Siwon to your room and your brand new bed. Both of you are still naked and too worn out to get dressed. 

 “Heads up, I have to be at work for 6am tomorrow" you sigh, as you wiggle your body closer to Siwon, who groans at your statement. 

 “Why so early? So you’re going to have to get up at 5?” 

 “Mhmm" you say, dozing off, considering it is already 1am. 

 “You really are going to be the death of me” he says. It’s the last thing you hear before you doze off. 

 ** 

 5am comes awfully quick. You want to cry as your alarm blares throughout your room. 

“Oh my god" Siwon whines. “Does Kim make you work so fuckin early?”

 “He does" you yawn, trying to crawl over him to get ready. He holds onto your hips as you straddle him, his eyes closed. 

“I’ll never make you work this early. That way we can happily sleep in" he sighs. 

“That sounds great, but you need to let me go so I can go shower to wake up" you whine. 

 “Can I join you?” he asks, opening one eye. 

 “No funny business. I have to leave in 40 minutes if I’m going to catch my bus.” You state.

 “Forget the bus, I’ll drive you.” He says, letting you go before getting up himself to join you in the shower.

 “Are you sure no funny business?” he asks, hoping for your answer to change.

 It didn’t. 

 **

 Your work day, surprisingly went by rather quickly. Well the morning at least. In the afternoon you had to listen to Junmyeon being fired in his office and his aggression getting out of hand. It was painful to listen too. The number of insults he tossed out there and the rather impressive unique names he called the men were cringey. The worst of it all was when he started crying and begging for them to let him keep his job. You had been texting Siwon the entire time, giving him a play by play. 

[1:13am] You: They just informed him he was fired. He’s yelling. Very loudly. 

[1:16pm] You: He is absolutely losing it. He call Mr. Byun a cheating fuck. 

[1:21pm] You: Oh my god. He told Mr. Park that his wife’s been cheating on him. 

[1:38pm] You: He told them both they were shitbags, but not human shitbags, but dog shitbags. 8/10 on the insult from me. 

 [2:04pm] You: He’s crying. Loudly. Pleading for his job. It’s rather embarrassing if you ask me. Be a man. 

 [2:17pm] You: It’s silent. I think he might have accepted his fate. 

 [2:18pm] You: Nope. I spoke too soon. He’s calling them shitbags again. You had to run to the bathroom and quickly before they all heard your laughter at Mr. Kim’s unfortunate news. Siwon had texted you back laughing at the entire situation earlier. As you were checking yourself in the mirror, your phone buzzed again. Siwon. 

 [2:57pm] Siwon: Where are you? 

 [2:59pm] You: Checking myself out in the mirror. 

 [3:01pm] Siwon: Send me a picture. Please. 

 You decide to take him up on it. You lock the door to the bathroom before you unbutton your shirt enough for your breasts to pop out. Thank god you decided on a cute bra. The next picture you took, you say on the counter with your legs spread. The picture you took showed enough pussy and panties but still left a little to the imagination, although he’s already seen it and fucked it before. Pressing send, you do yourself back up before heading back to your desk. 

You were just in time to see Mr. Kim being escorted from his office with his box of things in his arms. 

“So sorry Mr. Kim" you say. 

 “Fuck off" he snaps at you before getting on the elevator and leaving. You sit at your desk, impatiently waiting until 5pm when you can go home, when you hear the elevator ding again. Out walks the higher up boss, along with Siwon who is checking his phone. You straighten yourself up before standing up to greet them.  

“Ahh Y/N. This is Mr. Choi. You’ll be his new secretary.” Your boss, Mr. Jeon tells you. 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Choi.” You say, with a smile but through gritted teeth. 

“Nice to meet you too, Y/N. I look forward to working closely with you" Siwon smiles. 

As Mr. Jeon continues to walk into the office, Siwon waves his phone, giving you a wink before mouthing “thanks.” You could just kill him. 

 **

 The weekend you spent in your apartment, ordering take-out while binge watching your favorite shows and movies. Siwon had told you he had to go out of town for a conference, which wasn’t unusual so you didn’t really think anything of it. It’s not like the two of you were truly in a relationship anyways, he had no obligation to tell you where he was or what he was doing. The weekend passed in a blur of junk food and movies.

 You felt relieved and rested now that you didn’t have to get up at 5am every morning and could sleep until 8am before having to get up to go to work. You were chipper on your way to work Monday morning. Knowing that you didn’t have to deal with the insufferable Junmyeon made it that much better. However, you weren’t entirely sure how working for Siwon was going to be, but it excited you, the unknown.

 That morning you showed up in your usual work attire but your skirt was just a little bit shorter than your others, it was still professional though. You sat down at your desk once you arrived, going through your calendar to see what was planned for today. Siwon showed up a few minutes after you arrived, giving you a nod and a sly wink before entering his office. The butterflies in your stomach were very much present. Once he was settled he called you into his office to go over the plan for today. He had a meeting all morning that he asked you to attend with him, which was weird for you since Junmyeon had always refused for you to come when everyone else brought their secretaries. When he finished speaking he just stared at you for a moment before peaking out his door to make sure no one was around. 

“You look so good today" he whispers, biting his lip. 

 “Well thank you, Mr. Choi.” You smile. “Oh sir, your plaque is crooked. Let me fix that for you" you say. You were standing beside him behind he desk, and instead of going around to fix it, you leaned directly over his desk causing your skirt to ride up to reveal a very racy pair of panties. 

 You could hear Siwon inhale sharply at the site of your exposed self. He wanted to fuck you, so badly. When you moved yourself back to standing up, you smiled at him, as he glared at you. 

 “You’re going to make working here either extremely pleasant or extremely hard" he tells you with a sigh. 

“Likely both. I aim to please" you say with a small wink before walking to the door. “Let me know if you need anything, sir". The last part you partially say as a moan, just to tease him. The meeting was absolutely boring. All you did was take notes, however you missed quite a bit due to Siwon rubbing his foot against your leg. You glared at him every chance you got. Luckily for lunch, you got to order whatever you wanted and didn’t have to pay for it yourself. The only downside being that you couldn’t drink any wine, since you were still on the clock.

Siwon had also made sure to give you quite a substantial raise. A lot more than Junmyeon ever paid you, he was so cheap. The next few weeks flew by. You write enjoyed working for Siwon, it wasn’t awkward like you thought, although the sexual tension between you two was so strong. You hadn’t been able to hook up since he had taken on a extremely high profile case and it took up all of your free time. The two of you had planned a night after the last trial date, on Friday and you were so ready for it. You yearned for his touch, his tounge between your thighs, his cock inside you. 

 Thursday was slow for you as Siwon stayed in his office preparing, only calling for you if he needed notes or coffee. You sat at your desk, answered the phone, constantly telling anyone who called that you had to take a message and you would have him call them back. You were bored until a relatively attractive women stood at your desk. You smiled at her, greeting her appropriately. 

“Hello ma'am, how may I help you?” you asked. 

 “I’m here to see Mr. Choi" she tells you, with a slight smile.

 “Mr. Choi is extremely busy preparing for the trial tomorrow, he has asked that I not let anyone in so he can concentrate.” You explain with a smile.

 “I’m his fiancée, I think it’ll be okay if I visit him” she partially laughs. Your body immediately freezes. Fiancée? He was engaged? What the actual fuck. 

 You maintained your composure as you forced a smile, and getting up to knock on his door. You peeked your head in to see a stressed out Siwon. 

“Yes, Y/N?” he asked.

 “So sorry sir. Your fiancée is here to see you.” You spit through a clenched jaw. Siwon quickly looks up at you, his eyes wide and panicked. Before he could say anything, the woman he is supposed to marry barges in through the door.

 “Hello, darling.” She says, kissing his cheek. “Your secretary is awfully pretty. Why didn’t you tell me?” she chuckles, giving you a half glare. You fight back the tears that are desperately trying to escape from your eyes. 

 “Well if you don’t need anything else from me, I’m going to take off.” You huff. 

“Y/N..” he begins.

 “I’ll see you tomorrow” you whisper, leaving the engaged man with his confused fiancée. 

 ** 

 “Is there something going on between you two?” Jennie asks Siwon. “She seems to like you.” She finished. Siwon can’t say anything, he can barely process what just happened. You thought he was in love and going to get married, but that wasn’t the case at all. He didn’t even love Jennie, it was an arranged marriage that both their parents had set up for a merger of companies. Siwon’s father owned the largest defense attorneys office, while Jennies father owned the second largest. The two men wanted each of their oldest kids to take over the companies and merge, which meant also making everyone family. Neither Siwon nor Jennie had a choice in the matter. Siwon had only taken the job where you worked because his father wasn’t ready to retire, for a year. A year until the wedding, and his fathers retirement. He didn’t want to marry Jennie which is why he never told you about her because to him he was still single. But Jennie was rather excited about the wedding and marriage. 

 “I thought I told you to not visit me at work" he snap. Jennie let’s go of him, taking a few steps back. 

 “I thought you’d be happy to see me" she says, her face a little sad.

 “I’m near the end of a huge case and now you decide to come disrupt me?” 

 “Its because of her, isn’t it.” She wonders. 

 “Who?” Siwon sighs.  

“Your secretary. You’re fucking her aren’t you?” she snaps. 

 “You’re insane. Just go please. I’ll speak with you later” he says, focusing on his work once again. 

 Once Jennie leaves, his head is in his hands as he sighs. He wanted to be the one to tell you. He didn’t want you to find out like this. He didn’t want Jennie. He wanted you. 

 ** 

 You cried the entire way home. Yes you’d only known him a few weeks but you had fallen rather fast. He seemed so different, like he wouldn’t hurt you. But you were wrong, yet again. Thinking he was different than Chanyeol was laughable. Yes he didn’t cheat on you, but he cheated on someone he was engaged too, with you. You never wanted to be a mistress. Curled up in your bed, you’re annoyed at your phone constantly going off and ringing from what you could only assume was Siwon. 

 [3:19pm] Siwon: Just let me explain, please. It’s not what you think. 

 [3:21pm] Siwon: Answer your phone and let me explain. 

 You scoffed as you read his messages. He sounded just like Chanyeol and Minsoo. You finally answered your phone on the 10th time he had called. “What?” you snap. “Finally" Siwon sighs. “Please meet me and just let me explain.” He begs. “You can say what you need to over the phone. I don’t want to see you" “Jennie and I are engaged, yes. But it’s not how you think. I don’t love her. It was set up by our parents so both their companies can merge together.” He explains. “I don’t want to be with her, but my father is sick and he wants to see the merger before he passes" he tells you. A part of you wanted to believe him. You did believe him. But what if it wasn’t true? What if he was just lying to you to have you not leave him? “Prove it.” You say. “I’ll send you everything to prove it. But can I please see you?” he asks. “I just need sometime. Maybe after I look at everything but for now no.” you whisper. “Okay. I’ll send everything to you now. I’m sorry Y/N. I wanted to be the one to tell you. I didn’t want you to find out like this" he tells you. “Just send the papers over, Siwon" you sigh before hanging up. You’re still curled up in a ball and hour later when your doorbell rings. You groan as you struggle and squirm to get yourself out of the nest and cocoon you had made with your blankets. Swinging the door open, you’re met with a frightened looking young man with a stack of papers in his arms. You pull the papers from him before muttering a thanks and slamming the door in his face. Sitting down at your kitchen table, you begin sorting through the documents Siwon sent over. An hour later, after you had looked at the papers at least three times, you knew he was actually telling the truth. You weren’t sure if you felt relieved or if you were mad that he didn’t tell you the truth to begin with. [4:59pm] Siwon: Do you believe me now? [5:00pm] You: Yes. [5:02pm] Siwon: When can I see you? [5:05pm] You: I’ll see you at the trial tomorrow. [5:08pm] Siwon: And after? [5:11pm] You: I’ll let you know. You turned off your phone, and cocooned back in your bed. You didn’t feel like eating dinner, even though he did sort everything out and turns out he was telling the truth, you still felt somewhat betrayed. You knew how Jennie would feel, since the same thing happened to you. However, Chanyeol claimed to love you, and you did love him, and Minsoo knew that. You knew that this was just a business arrangement to them and there were no feelings involved, so why would you feel guilty? You shouldn’t but you sort of do. You were conflicted. You wanted to see him more. He was fun and refreshing and he seemed to understand you. But did you want to be a mistress? At this point in your life, you finally just wanted to do what you wanted, without having to please anyone but yourself. Maybe that made you a bae person. Maybe you were shitty for sleeping with someone that was engaged, but you were okay with it. As it turns out, he wasn’t such a bad guy and he was just doing what made him happy. ** The next day at the trial, everything went as it should have. Siwon won the case as was on a high that came from it. You had agreed to go out with him again that that night. The two of you met at a pub to have a few drinks to celebrate his win, but also talk about things. After you had celebrated for a little bit, things got serious between you two. “You know I was planning on telling you" he says, taking another sip of his drink. “Were you though?” you ask, not sure if you truly believed he was. “I really was. I’m not the type to cheat, if I’m serious about someone. But Jennie.. I’m not interested in her. I’m interested in you.” He says, shrugging his shoulders. “Interested in what exactly? A relationship? A fuck buddy?” you wonder, sipping on your martini. You were curious as to what his answer was going to be. “Whatever you want, baby girl” he purrs. His voice sent shivers down you spine. “So if I said a fuck buddy, with occasional dates, you’d be fine with that? “Absolutely” Siwon states. “Like I said, whatever you want.” “Fine. Then that. But warn me if she’s going to come into the office again. I don’t want to deal with it" you say, finishing your drink. “Done deal.” Siwon smiles. “Have you fucked her?” you blurt out the question. It had been on your mind and you weren’t sure if you had wanted to ask, but apparently you did. “What?” he asks. “Have you fucked her since we were last together, since it’s been a few weeks?” you question. “No I haven’t fucked her. Not in the last few weeks, not even in the year we’ve been engaged.” He tells you. You can tell he is telling you the truth, which makes you feel relieved. “Okay" you say. “Just curious" you laugh. “So back to your place?” he asks, lifting his eyebrows. “Not a chance.” You giggle. “Please?” he asks, giving you a sad face. “You have 30 seconds to convince me. And go" you say, staring at your watch. “I’ll eat your pussy and fuck you so good, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow. And I’ll make you breakfast in bed" he says, his face believing he’s convinced you. “Mhm, you’re good at getting your way. You better bring your pussy eating A game" you say, standing up and swaying your hips as you walk away from him. Siwon takes a moment to watch and appreciate you shaking your ass before getting up to follow you from the pub. The two of you were all over each other in the cab on the way back to your place. Your hand rubbed Siwon’s clothed cock, as he slipped his fingers in between your legs and into your pussy. Your face rested in the crook of his neck as he slowly and discreetly pumped his fingers in and out of you. Every time you wanted to moan, which was often, you bit his neck. Partly because you didn’t want the bad driver to know, even though he likely did but also you secretly hoped that Jennie would see it. “Don’t stop" you moan into his neck as he continues to pleasure you. You feel as though your entire body might combust right there. It’s been a few weeks since you had been with anyone, the urge to cum more apparent than ever. “Here we go" the cab driver coughed, uncomfortably. Siwon takes his fingers from inside you, handing the cab driver a $100 for a $15 dollar ride before scooting you out of the car, quickly. He effortlessly picks you up, carrying you up the stairs as you giggle. Your skirt flowing in the wind, showing off your ass cheeks to anyone who happened to look their, but neither of you cared. In this moment you two were blissfully happy, and extremely horny. The two of you dont even make it into the bedroom, inside he lays you on the floor of the hallway in your apartment, quickly sliding into you. He fucks you hard and fast, both of you needing to cum quickly. You and Siwon lay there, your chests heaving as you try to catch your breath from the hard and fast fuck the two of you just had. “That was..” Siwon begins. “Amazing" you finish his sentence. The two of you laugh while Siwon stands up, extending a hand for you to help you up. You cling to him for dear life as your legs are extremely wobbly. “Shower?” he asks. You nod your head. Siwon scoops you up, whisking you away to the bathroom for a nice hot shower. Once your shower is finished, the two of you lay in bed and talk. For some reason you bring up what happened with your father. Siwon doesn’t much except you should hear his side of the story, since you only knew your mothers. You shoved that thought to the back of your head. ** He stayed with you the entire weekend. When you asked about Jennie, he told you that she thought he was on a business trip. That’s all you needed to know. Your weekend was filled with cuddles, laughter and fucking. You dreaded Monday, only because you had to get out of the little bubble that the two of you had enjoyed so much. On Monday Siwon constantly texted you, in detail all the dirty things he wanted to do to you, which you appreciated but it would be rather frowned upon to fuck him in the office.. while everyone was there. On Tuesday he asked you to stay late to help him with a case. Looking at the clock, you see it’s 8pm and the last person in the office is finally leaving. Both of you said good bye to Mr. Son as you continued your work. At 815pm Siwon had pushed himself away from his desk, groaning as he rubbed his face. You took the opportunity to stand in front of him and extend yourself over his desk, parting your legs, allowing your skirt to ride up, exposing your very small, leaving little to the imagination panties. “For me?” you hear Siwon ask, as his chair rolls towards you. “Mhmm. You’ve been working so hard. You deserve a treat” you moan, shaking your ass slightly. “You’re so good to me" he says, his hands planted on your ass. Siwon moves your panties to the side before he kneels beneath you, laying his head on his desk. Extending his tounge, he licks a strip up your already wet pussy. You let out a small gasp at the feeling. “Mr. Choi, you’re so g-good to me" you breathe as his tounge continues to flick your clit. “Mhm" he moans as his lips latch onto you, sucking your clit harshly. Your hands grip onto the desk, holding whatever you can tightly as he devours your pussy. His movements slow down, so you grind yourself on his face, bringing the much needed orgasm closer. “Fuck fuck fuck" you cry out, your body tightening as you cum all over his face, your orgasm washing through you. Siwon briskly stands up, undoing his belt to pull down his pants. His cock springs free, making your mouth water. “Sit on the desk" he demands. You shuffle yourself into the sitting position as he walks towards you. He bends his knees slightly, pushing himself into you. You throw your head back at the feeling of him stretching you out. “Wrap your legs around me" he says. The moment you’re secure around him, he picks you up, walking you over to the large window in his office. He slams you against it while he fucks you, hard. “Fuck baby girl, your pussy feels so good" he growls, thrusting into you. You bring your hand up, getting your fingers tangled in his hair as he thrusts become harsher. Mid fuck, the two of you hear his office door opening. Opening your eyes, you see Chanyeol standing there, his body vibrating with rage. “What the fuck are you doing!?” he screams. Siwon sighs as he knows exactly who it is without even turning around. “What the fuck Chanyeol. Go away” you groan, Siwon still inside you. “Get off my girlfriend you piece of shit" Chanyeol yells at Siwon. “Ex- girlfriend, and she seems to like my cock very much, so I’ll continue. Feels free to stay and watch if you want" Siwon groans, pumping himself into you again and again. “I’ll be seeing you soon, Y/N" Chanyeol growls before slamming the door shut. You don’t let his interruption bother you. This was your time. You were having fun, doing things you wanted to do. And what you wanted, was for Siwon to finish fucking you. “Do you want to stop?” Siwon asks, pausing his thrusts. “Don’t you dare.” You growl, gripping him tighter. Siwon’s hands leave your body, and he presses them against the glass and he fucks you until you both cum. It’s 10pm before the two of you finish your work and head home for the night. Siwon unfortunately had to go back to his apartment while you went your separate way to your own. The next week dragged by. Chanyeol was still constantly showing up places, calling you names, trying to get you to talk to him or anything really. No matter how many times you told him you wanted nothing to do with him, it never really sunk in. ** You and Siwon had been fucking for almost 6 months now, and things were mostly great, but also not. You found yourselves arguing often, about anything and everything. Even though you weren’t together, you both still acted like you were. You weren’t sleeping with anyone else and neither was he, despite being engaged. After your fights, you always found yourselves angry fucking, no matter where you were. It’s what you did when you knew you needed to talk things through but didn’t want too, you fucked. You both knew it wasn’t healthy but neither of you were willing to stop. After 7 months you had a big fight in the car in a parkade about something minuscule which led to the two of you fucking on the hood of the car. After 8 months the two of you fought about the fact the Chanyeol had yet to let you go and Siwon was annoyed as fuck about it. It’s not like you weren’t either but you could only do so much to stop him. You two were walking home through a park from a date. You rode his cock in the field at night. After 11 months, the two of you fought about the wedding he was supposed to partake in, in less than 1 month. Neither of you were sure on what to do. There was a serious conversation that needed to be had between you two, but not before he pinned you against the wall in the bedroom of hi apartment. “Why do you always have to bring this shit up" he growls, roughly cupping your breast underneath your shirt. “Because its fucking important” you snap, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down just enough to allow his cock to spring free. “You infuriate me" he snaps, hiking up your skirt and moving your panties to the side. In one swift motion, Siwon enters you harshly. You wrap your legs around his waist so he can pin you fully against the wall. Neither of you speak, the only sounds that can be heard are moans and skin slapping. He roughly thrusts into you, before pausing and telling you to be quiet. Just then the two of you hear footsteps walking from the kitchen, to the living room, to the hallway towards the bedroom. Siwon takes you from against the wall, running both of you into the closet quickly before shutting the doors and pressing himself against you. “Yeah, I want beige” the two of you hear Jennie speak as she sits on the bed. Siwon doesn’t stop fucking you. He slowly and quietly pulls himself from you before harshly but silently slamming himself into you. You try your hardest to stifle a moan. You can see Jennie on the bed of their shared apartment, trying on different shoes as she talks about the wedding. You can see in the way she speaks about it that she’s excited and happy. “Yes, lillies and Rose’s. I think those will look beautiful” she gushes as Siwon continues to fuck you. His face is buried into your neck, as your hands wrap around his head, gripping onto his hair. His hips snap into you, his cock always hitting the right spot regardless if he fucks you roughly or softly. You grind yourself onto him, trying to block out the noise coming from the bedroom. You try to focus on your impending orgasm that is coming quickly. “Don’t stop. Fuck please" you cry out in a whisper. You keep circling your hips as you ride through your high as quietly as you can when all you want to do is scream out in pleasure. Siwon doesn’t take too much longer after you, spilling himself into you, biting your shoulder to make sure he’s quiet. The two of you stand there, quietly panting while Jennie wraps up her conversation and stands up to leave. “Mrs. Siwon Choi" she says with a smile before walking out of the room and out of the apartment. Siwon pulls out of you, looking at you with a sad face, while you’re feeling ever so guilty. “Has she always been excited about the wedding?” you ask, adjusting your clothes. “Not until recently" he admits, tucking his cock back into his pants. “Are you excited about the wedding?” you ask. “I don’t know.” He says. “I think we need to talk.” You sigh. “I think so too.” He agrees. Siwon left town a few hours after you parted ways. He told you that the two of you would talk when he was back in town, in a few weeks. YYou were pretty sure you knew what you were going to do, you had just never said it aloud. A part of you wanted to tell him to not get married, that you two would be able to make it work. But you knew that was a lie. The two of you fucked, you were great at fucking eachother but being in an actual relationship wouldn’t work. You knew you two were toxic together. In the time that Siwon was gone, you had applied for a job just outside of Seoul. It happened to be your dream job and you applied on a whim. You knew there were likely more qualified people who applied and that you’d never get it. But you heard about it a few hours before you left to meet Siwon, the night he had arrived back in town. 1 week before his wedding. “Hey" he says with a smile, leaning down and kissing your cheek. “Hi" you say, looking up at him with a forced smile. Tears brimming in your eyes, knowing that this would likely be the last time you saw Siwon. “How was your trip?” you ask. “It was boring. We really need to have a discussion now though. We can’t put it off any longer” he sighs. “You’re right. We can’t. You’re getting married in a week.” You whisper. “Am I? I can call it off. Just say the word baby girl and it’s done" he says, his eyes hopeful. “And do what? We run away together and continue to fight and fuck the rest of our lives? That doesn’t sound like a life either of us want to live" you sigh. “We can make it work. We could be great" he tells you. “You will have a great life. With Jennie. Maybe you don’t love her now, but if you try to get to know her, you might. We aren’t right for eachother.” You whisper. “But..” Siwon begins before you cut him off. “I won’t tell her, or anyone about what we had. A part of me will always care for you. You helped me through what I thought was the worst time in my life. You also made me see that there are two sides to every story, and maybe I should hear my fathers side of his story. I’ll always remember the time we had together, but we can’t be together.” You say, a tear slipping down your cheek. “What are you going to do?” he quietly asks. “While you were gone, I actually applied for my dream job Sokcho-Si and I found out I got the job tonight. I’m leaving in the morning" you smile. “We’re really ending this?” he asks, devastated. “We are. Maybe one day I’ll see you in the future. Try things out with Jennie, I think you’ll be good for eachother” you say standing up. You take his face in your hands gently, placing one last kiss on his lips before leaving him behind. ** You had been living in Sokcho-Si for a month now, and had heard nothing from Siwon in that time, except for the day of his wedding, asking you if you were sure about this. You were. Sitting in a Café, you were flipping through a magazine, not paying too much attention to it, when you heard someone stumble from side you and sigh. Looking up you see an extremely handsome man, muttering swearwords while trying to wipe coffee from his tie. You chuckled as you stood up, running to the counter to ask for a ice cube and a cold cloth. You went back to the man, standing infront of him. “Can I help?” you ask with a smile. “I learnt this trick years ago" you say, placing the ice cube on the back of the tie and the cloth on the front, allowing the coffee to soak into the rag. “Amazing. Thank you so much. Your husband is a lucky guy" he chuckles. “No husband" you say, finishing up helping him. “Boyfriend?” He asks, cocking his head to the side. You shake your head. “No girlfriend either. Single" you explain. “I’m Zhang Yixing" he smiles an amazing smile at you, extending his hand. “Y/L Y/N" You say, shaking it. “Would you like to have dinner with me, Y/N?” He asks, his hand still holding yours. “I would love too" you smile. ** 3 years later, you and Yixing are a few days away from your wedding day. He stood by your side through everything in the last 3 years. Finally filing a restraining order on Chanyeol for stalking. Meeting up with your father and allowing him to explain himself. As it turns out, your mother had cheated on him and kicked him out, when her new boyfriend was supposed to move in. However, the boyfriend broke up with her and she just decided to blame it all on your father and say that he left her high and dry. Because of your mother and her lies, you lost out on almost 10 years with your father. But now thanks to Yixing, your relationship with your father is being mended, after having him back in your life for 2 years. He was going to be the one to walk you down the isle. You had been nervous to tell Yixing about your relationship, or whatever it was with Siwon. You worried he would think you were a bad person, and decide to not be with you. Luckily for you, he understood you had just been going through something and it was what you felt you needed to do at the time. ** The day of your wedding, you’re standing at the altar with Yixing, your now husband beside you. Your friends and family, along with his surrounding the two of you. One person in particular stood out to you, Siwon. Yixing had told you to invite him if you wanted too and you did. You hadn’t thought he would have shown up but there he was. With his wife Jennie, and their newborn baby. They looked happy. Just as you finally were. Sometimes our bad habits lead us to the place that we were meant to be.

[wreckofawriter]

Fine Line

Word count: 2,459

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Pureblood!Reader

Warnings: A bit of swearing

Summary: When Y/N sworn enemy stands up for her she is left confused by a confession.

A/n: Sorry I havent posted in a while I have been unbelievably busy.

Not my gif btw credit to owner

“There was a fine line between love and hate you heard that cliche all the time. But no one told you that the moment they crossed it would be the one least expected. You’d fall in love and crack open a secret door to let your soul mate in You just never expected such closeness one day to feel like an intrusion” - Jodi Picoult

You had heard the saying there is a fine line between love and hate too many times for your liking, your friend seemed to repeat it daily to you. Personally, you did not agree with that statement, they were completely different feelings. You believed it was like saying there was a fine line between yellow and purple which is far from true.

As you watched him stalk toward you, your previous accusations were confirmed.

“Oh look if it isn’t broken hearted Y/L/N” He sneered when he reached the tree you were sitting in.

“Malfoy” You scoffed back dropping to the ground. You landed in a crouch stood up and straightened your robes. “Here to insult me or hex me?”

Despite both being Slytherins and born from respectable pureblood families your hatred was strong for each other, ever since you fought over a cabin on the Hogwarts Express first year.

“I just wanted to know why you weren’t sitting with your boy toy recently.” He challenged. Usually, Malfoy was bad but ever since you had started to date Jacob he had become intolerable.

“None of your business.” You started promptly.

“He broke up with you didn't he.” he mocked, laughing “What he couldn’t handle looking at you all day.” He’s gargoyles behind him laughed.

“I would kick you in the teeth, but what's the point in improving your looks.” You retorted, swallowing the pain of the fresh wound he had just poured salt into. He scoffed his permanent smirk disappearing for a split second before returning. “Did you have a reason for this charming visit.” You asked sarcastically.

“Not entirely. Just to see how the break up went.” He mused picking at his perfect fingernails.

“Well then, if I through a stick will you leave?” This one got to him, and his cocky demeanor dropped.

“Did you just call me a dog Y/L/N?” He questioned dropping his hands and clenching them in fists.

“In fact I did.” You said turning curtly your hair whipping his face, gathered your books and turned to leave. You simply wanted to be in bed.

When you returned to your room you found your best friend Celo sitting on her bed a book held in her hands about two inches from her face. You let out a giggle at her position and confused expression.

“What?” she asked

“I just want to know why you are trying to enter that book like its a portal.”

“It's an exciting book.” She shrugged.

You laughed again, “You coming down for breakfast?” you grumbled scuffing your shoes on the ground.

“Yeah give me a sec,” she glanced at your sad demeanor, “You don’t seem like to want to."

“Not only do I have to deal with Jacob but Malfoy is being a dick again. Godric, I hate him” You sighed.

“You know there's a fine line between lo-”

“If you finish that sentence I will hex you.” You interrupted.

Celo rolled her eyes. Unlike you, she wasn’t blind to Dracos pathetic attempts (if you call insulting you attempts) to flirt with you. He was terrible at it, but Celo was convinced to get you to notice. She always pointed it out when she caught him staring at you, she tried to tell you that you were the only one who could get to the Slytherin boy with your insults, but it was no luck you were blinded by your hatred.

You began to gather your stuff your mood getting momentarily better until you saw Jacobs sweater lying in the ground and sighed. It had been a week and you still didn't have the heart to touch the damned thing.

“You know I could move it if you wanted.” Celo pointed out.

“Nah,” You sighed. You almost left it where it lay but you couldn’t, you just couldn’t. “I will.” with that, you summoned all the courage you had and snatched his sweater off the ground. With this sudden rush of adrenaline, you decided you would return it to him. Right now.

“You know what, I’m going to give it to him.” You stated.

“I don’t know if that's the-”

“I don't care he treated me like shit and I will not keep his sweatshirt because I am scared of a measly Ravenclaw.” You yelled.

“Alright” Celo sighed knowing that once you decided to do something, there was no stopping you, you were definitely put in the right house.

You walked into the great hall loudly, stomping your feet. You always had a loud way about you, when you walked into a room everyone knew it. You weren’t afraid of Jacob or his smug Ravenclaw pose either. Heads turned as you walked straight up to Jacob and his smirking friends.

“Y/N, I thought I made it clear we were over.” He scoffed.

“I was simply returning your sweatshirt.” You growled.

“You can keep it. Give it to the next guy you sleep with.” He mused playing with his fork.

“You Jacob Tahlin, are the reason God invented the middle finger,” You sneered as you threw the sweatshirt at him.

“Don’t worry you will have your finger shoved down some other dudes throat in no time.”

Your eyes went wide. Mouth dropped open. Anger ran through you like boiling water. Then you took a step closer and slapped him. Hard. Backhanded. So hard your ring had pierced his skin.

“You bitch!” he shouted his hand pulling away from his cheek with blood on his finger tips. He then began to get up and face you, but before he could even set down his fork he had a wand to his throat.

“You take one more step and I will not hesitate to kill you.” seethed a familiar voice through clenched teeth.

You watched as the platinum-haired boy pushed Jacob backward so his legs were against the bench he had been sitting on. The smirks were wiped off his friend's faces.

“W-woah there Malfoy, d-don’t get your p-panties in a knot.” Jacob stuttered clearly nervous.   As he put his hands as a sign of surrender. Every eye in the hall was on the scene playing out in front of you.

“You listen to me Tahlin.” Draco spits his mouth filled with venom, “If you even look at her the wrong way one more time, I. Will. Kill. You.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” Jacob asked suddenly regaining his snarky attitude.

“Who am I? I’m the guy who can turn your life into a living hell with the snap of his fingers.” Draco continued still learning and closer and closer to Jacob.

As you observed you saw Jacob slowly move his had towards his robe pocket. Your body filled with fear and anger once again. You snatched your own wand from your robe, “Stupify!” tumbled from your lips.

Jacob shot straight backward knocking over the bench and flying over the table. Every single eye in that room was on you but the only ones you could focus on were a pair of bright silver ones which stared at you wide with surprise.

“Miss Y/L/N!” you heard McGonagall shout but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the Slytherin in front of you. “You are coming to my office right now!” she gasped. “Someone please help that boy.” She yelled as she dragged you out of the hall.

After a long hour lecture about fighting in school, losing your house 35 points and gaining a month of detention you were finally let go thanks to Snape demanding he needed you to come to a class which you didn't have for another hour. He, of course, let you go the second you left the classroom.

As you sat in the library you couldn't help but think of Draco. Ever since this morning, you wondered why. Why would Draco step in front of you? Why not laugh and watch as he did with everyone else? Why help you? Your thoughts were cut off by the very boy on your mind.

“Y/N?” You looked up to see Draco standing in front of you.

“Hey Draco,” you mumbled as you lay your head on your crossed arm in front of you. He sat in the chair next to you taking the same position you were in and faced you. For a minute or two, you just sat there in awkward silence staring at each other, where all you could think about is how his eyes shone, and his hair looked so smooth and how amazing it would be to kiss that precise jawline to his soft pink lips.

"So umm..." Draco muttered.

“Why?” you spoke.

“What?” he said blinking twice as if he had just woken from a nap.

“Why did you do it?” you continued, searching his face which still looked confused. “Ya, know, step in front of me, stop Jacob. We aren’t friends, well to be completely honest I didn't think you liked me at all and I definitely didn't like you. So why?”

Draco turned his head so his chin was resting on his arms instead of his cheek and he was facing away from you. He stared straight ahead not daring to look at you because he knew if he did, everything he had managed to hide for five years would come tumbling out.

“Draco?” you asked. He sighed still not looking at you.

"Draco?" You asked again.

“Remember first year when you fought me  for that stupid train cabin?” He asked his eyes locked on a far away bookshelf.

“Of course.” You said “I also remember winning that fight” you chuckled.

“Yeah.” He said smiling but not his usual smirk a genuine smile showing his perfect pearly smile. “I think that's when it happened.”

“Yeah, I think that's why I started to dislike you too.”

    This time he laughed. He actually laughed. The sound was addictive, you wanted to hear it’s sweetness again. “I remember when I saw you, and Merlin where you small, smaller than me by far, and I thought to myself ‘This will be easy, this girl will leave the second she sees me.’ and boy was I wrong” he was still smiling as he talked. “I remember walking up to you and telling you and your friends to leave, and you said, ‘Make me.’ and when I told you to again, you said, ‘Right now I need something only you can provide.’ ‘and what's that’ I said. And you replied with ‘Your absence.’ I and I think that is the exact moment, I fell in love with you” He was now looking straight down at the table the color creeping up to his cheeks. You weren’t sure what to do with his sudden confession so you just sat there staring at him your mouth open slightly.

    “At first I convinced myself you were just a pretty and I was being ridiculous but then I started to notice things. Like how the only time you cried is when you were reading a sad book. Or the way your Y/H/C hair flows like a waterfall down your back. Or how when you know your brilliant insult got to me your eyes would shine. Or how you could always turn a bad situation into a good one. Or how you would never call anyone a mudblood. Even when that stupid prick of a boyfriend of yours was screaming at you this morning. You didn't even think of the word.”

He looked at you now waiting for your reaction. But you were too stunned to say anything you just stared. “When you started dating him I felt like my heart was ripped from my body. Every day I would see you sit with him. Laugh with him and I couldn’t function. I wouldn’t go to meals anymore. My grades drop and my happiness along with them. I’m sorry I was such a dick all these years. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was in love with you.” He sighed, looking at you again your eyes were wide your mouth still slightly ajar.

“Clearly, I’m an idiot and you definitely don’t feel the same so I will be going now.” He said standing, “I am truly sorry for being so rude, you didn't deserve that.” And with that, he walked away. Leaving you confused and bewildered. You just sat there for a minute processing all the information that had just been given to you.

“Fuck it.” You muttered standing and running after him. “Draco!” you yelled sprinting down the hall. You tripped on your robes and stumbled to the ground causing a few bystanders to giggle. You flipped them of striped your robes and continued after him.  Just in your skirt and blouse, you ran. You managed to see him just before he turned a corner.

“Draco!” you yelled again picking up your pace as you turned the corner you ran as fast as you could to catch up with him. When you finally reached him he kept walking. “Draco.” He kept walking. “Draco!” Still walking “God dammit Draco look at me.” You said grabbing his shoulder. He turned and you saw the last thing you would never expect; his eyes were rimmed with red and puffy a tear still sliding down his pale cheek. “What? He mumbled looking at anything but you. “Here to rub it in my face Y/L/N?” He asked furiously wiping his tears.

“No, I’m here to do this.” You said and without thinking twice you grabbed his tie and pulled his lips onto yours.

It took less than a second for Draco to respond to you; his lips moving in sync with yours as he moved his hand to your hips, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss sliding his tongue into your mouth as you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him as close to you as possible. Everything else seemed to disappear, it was just you and him. You felt your heartbeat quicken a spark ignite inside you and you know that he felt the same.

Finally you broke apart both of you gasping and out of breath.

“I love you” He whispered shyly looking down at you; his grey eyes piercing yours, his cheeks flush.

“I love you too.” You said as you began to lean in to kiss him again. You placed your lips on his but were interrupted.

There was a loud thump as Celos books hit the ground, “Holy shit” She said, “I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it!” She was jumping up and down. “I told you there was a fine line between love and hate.” She said excitedly. And for once you actually agreed as you pulled Draco in for another kiss.

[hortascountrysidenotes]

Sounds of Summer

The sounds of a Beck Farm summer were complete two days ago with the arrival of the turtle doves - first one purring in a thorn bush below the house and yesterday another in the blackthorn at the top of the garden - the concerted efforts of the Norfolk Wildlife Trust and other organisations are beginning to show a return - rough old thorn habitat is being left - not enough but an improvement, and these beautiful birds are at least hanging on to a few nesting sites.  All we need now is for the mainland European countries to stop persecuting them on migration and they could start to make a real comeback from the brink.  Sometimes a good outbreak of Covid has positive results as I would imagine the Maltese have been locked in during the migration of many warblers and turtle doves!  The other sound to round it all off was the return of the swifts to the roof of Beck Farm and yesterday their wonderful screeching over the garden table was uplifting.  

A beautiful week of weather turned violently the other way this morning - yesterday was shorts weather and 23C with no wind.  Today is about 10, hat back on, and a howling gale from the north blasting the garden (again).  A few weeks ago this same wind wasnt such a bad thing - not great but not catastrophic, but today and tomorrow is a bitter pill when roses are just starting to show colour in their buds, and beautiful young foliage on copper beech and the like is being shredded.  However, these are the vagaries of climate change and will be with us for some time.  It is encouraging though to see the rise of both the general public and companies demanding more environmental improvement measures from the government following the reaction to less human activity.

Beekeeping has been the predominant activity this week - a second and third swarm due to the sudden rise in temperature - the Master beekeeper and his assistant have been very busy, they have manage to re hive one swarm, one got away and the other conveniently went in to the empty stump, that colony having died out in spring.  Honey has been taken - mostly rape honey which solidifies very quickly, but also some lovely comb which we have been relishing every morning.  Master beekeeper also went to help his teacher yesterday afternoon as she (Super Master Beekeeper) has been struggling to keep up with all her hives.  She has a very sick husband, now in hospital and is herself not the most fit of people due to a horrid virus years ago which attacked her balance. Therefore Master Beekeeper was absolutely exhausted and very hot having been in his suit ALL DAY!!!

All goes well in the garden which is marvellous!  The potatoes are mostly through now, the dahlias also and the night time frosts seem to have gone away.  Although still plenty of foes - rolling leaf on the roses, lily beetles still busy, and ants not always doing good, the absence of the main adversary is a good feeling.  Once the wind abates it should be warm enough to plant out the courgettes,  climbing beans,  Cosmos and Nicotianas.  Sweet peas are climbing now - they do require a lot of water to thrive and that is back in short supply. Although it is lightly raining now, I have had to water the veg again and little rain is on the horizon.  The tomatoes have been “set up” in the greenhouse.  Have sown some interesting new things - Lovage and Lemon coriander, and have transplanted the Cumin to the main raised beds - never grown any of these before and it will be both interesting and fun to see if they work.  Lovage of course grows huge so one plant will be enough and it needs a large space to live, but architecturally it is magnificent.  The sowing of seeds in modules to counteract ant destruction seems to work a treat and the beetroot I planted out two weeks ago look spot on.  I may have to do the same with spinach - it must be something to do with that family’s seed that ants just love as they never bother with lettuce or carrots!  Next spring’s purple sprouting broccoli is through as are the leeks so we are already preparing for winter!

The dogs continue to lead a charmed life.  Scout celebrated her 12th birthday yesterday with two lovely walks to the Jubilee wood in the village, followed by a long swim in the pond we cleared out last autumn which is now clean and deep.  She had several whats apps in from her friends and is having a restful Sunday.  Inca is a little lame really from having had too many walks!  She does love to run and run, and always wants to run as fast as she possibly can, somewhat pounding her left shoulder with her lead leg.  She is having a quiet few days to allow it to settle.  The ground being like concrete has not helped.  Mavis is being a darling - she is helping our neighbour to train his rather unruly golden retriever Callie by just being there and walking demurely to heel alongside Callie to teach Callie that other dogs are not always a reason to go mental!  We are beginning to win through and Callie is not pulling on the lead all the time, and is starting to understand rudimentary sit, stay, and retrieving.  We have just been out for a “lesson” and there is a noticeable improvement!  We finished with Mavis having some lovely retrieves which she did beautifully and it was good for Callie to just sit and watch.  Certainly the lockdown has been good for Mavis, her confidence has grown and grown and I am just sorry that we have not been able to do any competitions.  She should come in season within the month, and we now have a list of people interested in 6 bitches and 3 dogs so that will be something to achieve!  

Most aspects of wildlife are good, newts are rising in the ponds, birds are feeding young, butterflies seem to be about though never enough, the moth trap has shown we have a good number of moths in the garden with the Poplar Hawk Moth present two nights ago.  The moonlight has been phenomenal so you can see the bats whizzing about the garden at dusk. The wildflowers too are improving despite the best efforts of farmers still showering margins with glyphosate.  I have just seen some lovely water avens down in a marshy area, together with marsh thistle - these were not here until recently mainly due to heavy handed use of broad leaf weedkiller.  Sadly the Parish Council have just sprayed all the open grass areas between the Jubilee Wood stands of trees apparently for ragwort - this is a bone of contention - read Wilding if you have not already done so, for a more tolerant view of ragwort.  Casualties of this spray include ribwort plantain, ordinary plantain, hawkbits and dandelions - all valuable for pollinators.  Walking the course yesterday also highlighted the fact that most of the ragwort seems untouched!  

Wisteria and Maigold the highlights in the garden this week with Viburnum plicatum Mariesii dripping down over the pond.  Get ready to change your pots from spring to summer bedding - the garden centres will all be open this week just in time.

HORTA

[mercifuldeaths]

Vertigo: Chapter 5: Walls

Vertigo: Chapter 5

Walls

This fic is in progress.

Jim Mason x Reader

Warnings for this chapter: Smut, mentions of drug use

Summary: Things are finally good and Jim is starting to think that maybe, just maybe, things will get even better. 

Notes: Oh my sweet, Jim. Really just some fluff and smut as Jim’s newest relationship is explored. Enjoy it while it lasts because.......it doesn’t last :)

Word Count: 6.1K - hope that makes up for the wait :)

Long shadows stretched over the wooden table, now littered with both their empty mugs, notebooks, and laptops. The sun was setting, a far cry from the high light that shone in when she entered the coffee shop. Jim guessed that they had been there close to eight hours, neither of them getting much work done.

His phone vibrated against the table, again. Y/N signed and snatched it up before he could. She held it so he could see “Gremlin” pop up as the contact name. Of course, it was Medina.

“Answer the phone, Jim,” she deadpanned. Medina had called a few times over the course of the day, Sandy, too. He had declined them all, repercussions be damned.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just Medina.”

“She’s worried about you. Just let her know that you’re fine,” she stopped herself from answering the phone herself, feeling that maybe that was taking things a little too far.

She could tell that Jim was a very private person despite the way he acted when all the boys were around. He seemed much smaller sitting there, pinched brows looking at his laptop and notes. He had shrugged off his denim jacket hours ago and was just in a tee shirt she had to stop herself from imagining herself wearing to bed. His arms were exposed, tan and toned from hours in the sun. She always thought he was most beautiful with the sun on him, soaking in its light and radiating it out.

“She needs to stop worrying about me. I’m fine,” he leaned over and gently grabbed the phone from Y/N. “I’ll text her, how about that?”

“Fine,” she said with a graceful simplicity. “But are you fine?”

His eyes flashed something of fear, fear of her finding out more than he had intended. “Because I’ve had you here hostage for like, hours now,” she continued and he exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Sorry your one night stand became,” she gestured to their messy table and herself, making a face.

He laughed, a little uncomfortable. Was that all that was? A one night stand? Swallowing thickly he said, “Doesn’t have to be a one-night thing.” She gave him a quizzical look, seeking an explanation.

“Jim. I can’t believe that I have to be the person to remind you, but you have a girlfriend.”

He felt his stomach tie itself in knots. If he was Phil, then this was his sidepiece reminding him of his real relationship. He tried to push his feelings down, deal with them later.

He hesitated. “I don’t think Heather is...that anymore,” he murmured, feeling his face burn. “She hasn’t answered my calls or texts for two weeks.”

“Oh,” Y/N responded, her voice small. “I’m so sorry. I would never have-I didn’t know-” she tried to find the words she wanted to say but all of them fell short.

“It wasn’t you!” he reassured her. “I’m pretty sure I said some shit earlier that night. I don’t really remember that part…” he trailed off, still embarrassed.

“Okay...I’m still sorry,” she consoled quietly.

“Don’t be,” he managed another smile and she felt her heart waver. “What is that saying? Liquor reveals true feelings or personality or whatever?” He looked to her. “And I really didn’t like her that much, anyway,” he mumbled, a little more quiet.

“Yeah, I remember you saying that,” she let out a sad laugh. “Are you going to break my heart, Jim?” her voice lilted and he couldn’t tell if she was kidding or not.

He answered honestly, anyway. “Y/N, I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”

--

Somehow the conversation had turned to other things. That’s how he found himself awkwardly standing in the foyer of her massive house. Arched ceilings, high windows, sweeping staircase. He admired the architecture but chastised the luxury. I’d all be torn down in a few years anyway.

“What do your parents even do?” he shouted to her after she had run upstairs. He didn’t follow. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. No more quick and dirty fucks, at least not until he had made sure she actually liked him for him. He couldn’t bear to hurt her and he didn’t think he could take any more hurt, himself. He wanted to move slow.

“It’s just my dad. He does something for the Pentagon. Defense or something?” her voice traveled down the stairs where he could hear her rummaging around. He found himself imagining her bedroom. “Is it bad that I don’t really know?” she said reappearing at the top of the stairs, a playful smile on her lips.

He laughed and kept looking around, sort of in awe. There were family pictures scattered throughout the halls and on the coffee table. It’s just my dad. But there was a woman in some of the photos. A tall brunette with a heart-shaped face was in most of them when Y/N looked young. As Y/N aged through the photos he noticed that she was no longer there. The stoic man with greying hair, broad and stern, was in all of them with a protective gaze over Y/N’s shoulder.

What really confused him, however, was the other girl. A small one, definitely younger than Y/N. She had the same eyes and lips as her...sister? He couldn’t be sure but that’s absolutely what it looked like. Photos of them on beaches were everywhere. A sandy toddler’s hand being held by a young Y/N, waves high and rough in the background. If he had to guess there was maybe a five-year difference between the two.

The most recent looked...recent. He didn’t like that at all. It was the two of them on what looked like the same beach from when they were kids. The younger one zipped into a wetsuit, smiling at the camera while Y/N was behind her, resting her elbow on the shorter one’s head, wrapped in a knit coverup. There was only one small surfboard cast aside.

He could place some photos after that day by the young one’s noticeable absence. Like Y/N said- It’s just her and her father. He knew Medina mentioned that she was an only child and he knew almost no details, but he could piece together that something horrid had happened. His blood ran cold.

He snapped out of his reverie by her bounding down the stairs, meeting him by the front door. Acting casual, he tried to hide his new discovery. If she wasn’t ready to share he wouldn’t push her.

“So these are the ones that Chad gave me. He promised they’re pure but I don’t know if I trust him,” she opened an Altoids tin to reveal some pills and a dime bag of coke, her dwindling stash. He didn’t know why, but seeing her holding his poison of choice made his stomach drop, sadness washing over him. She placed some small blue tablets into one of the small plastic baggies, sealed the top and handed it to him.

“What did we take when,” she hesitated, obviously alluding to the night that they had become quite...acquainted. A nervous laugh escaped her. “I was rolling.” Her smile was small and he became aware of the fact that he wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

Jim faltered. “I, uh. I don’t know,” he admitted and started picking at his fingers.

“It’s cool. I can ask around.” She smiled, not aware of how he was embarrassed. He couldn’t untie the knot in his stomach when he saw her pick through her collection of pills, contemplated taking one, and then decided to save it for Skeezer’s birthday later that week. “It’s going to be insane. I don’t even think I’m ready for it,” she informed him.

Truth be told, he was ready for that rager. What he was more ready for was the inevitable group of people waiting for him on the top of a cliff, ready with booze and anything else he wanted. Just a little. You’re doing so good. It wouldn’t be much, just enough. He tried to tell himself but he knew what the next few evenings would consist of.

He’d been out so often lately he owed it to his mom to stay in.

The little blue pills Y/N had gifted him would absolutely help with Sandy’s nonsense and he was grateful. He knew the tightness in his gut would disappear the second he placed it on his tongue.

“I would invite you up, but you said you have plans” She stepped closer to him and he could feel her warmth. Plans. Yeah. Go fish, shitty reality TV, and bitching about his father. Those were the plans for the evening and probably the whole week. It would be his plans for his whole life if Sandy had her way.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled leaning into her. He pressed a light kiss to her lips. He kept it innocent and slow. He was going to do it right this time. This wasn’t how it was with Heather. This time it was real, he knew it in his bones. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.

“Dinner? Soon?”

“Anything you want.” He placed another kiss on her forehead and she smirked and he started on his way out of the door. His eyes shone under the night sky-her personal universe.

“Anything? Now that could be a lot of things, now couldn’t it?” She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as he made his way down the driveway to his car.

“I’ll give you this whole world. I promise.”

And she knew he was telling the truth.

--

The next few months passed in a blur of salt water and stars. Nothing was forced or unnatural. In fact, it was the most Jim had ever felt like himself. It was unexplainable, and he had tried to explain it to Medina but he just sounded like a moron. She had told him as much.

“It’s like...she’s just,” he blew out the cloud of smoke he had been holding in his lungs. The beach was quiet that morning with mushy grey waves lapping at the rocks. It felt like he and Medina were back in their treehouse-just the two of them where nothing could hurt the two of them. “It’s like we’re the same? You know?”

“So you’re dating yourself?” She rolled her eyes.

“No, it’s like-she kinda reminds me of you.” He looked to his twin and tried to tame his hair that was tangling in the wind.

“So you’re dating me? Jim, that’s even weirder.” She leaned over and flicked his ear.

Flinching, he responded, “No! No. God. It’s just like, you know how you and me are connected? It’s kinda like that. It just works.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know, I can’t explain it.”

“Yeah, you really can’t.” She slapped him on the shoulder and stood up to grab her board. “Let’s go, stupid.”

He raced her into the water, now determined to get the first good wave.

--

Sandy had been an issue, of course. When she found out he had a girlfriend, and had one for six months at that point, she just about lost it on him. He found himself curled on his side in her bedroom getting the lecture she always gave when she had the slightest suspicion he was seeing someone.

“You could get her pregnant! She could force you to marry her!” Her shrieks reverberated in the house.

“I’m not getting married, mom. I’m too young,” he mumbled, head half buried in the pillow. He didn’t tell her that he would gladly marry Y/N in an instant, no thought process required. Sometimes at night, when things were getting bad, his thoughts would drift to her in an ivory dress, barefoot on the beach, palm trees creating shadows over her face.

“Well then, there’s no point in seeing her. I forbid it.” With that, he sat up and turned to face his mother.

“I’m not going to stop seeing her, mom.” He shrugged and went to stand. She pushed him back to the mattress with a press of her hand onto his shoulder. He gently removed it and stood. It felt strange, looking down at her. Sometimes he forgot that he was taller than her, and had been for some time.

Sometimes he forgot he wasn’t a kid anymore.

Medina had been standing in the doorjamb, watching things unfold. Jim couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he pushed past her while she did her weird staring thing he always begged her to stop doing, for the sake of his friends.

“The fuck are you looking at,” he hissed at her. She was the reason that Sandy knew about Y/N. He wasn’t even sure of how Medina let it slip, but she did. He briefly thought that maybe she was jealous that her friend started dating her brother, but Medina didn’t get jealous. And Y/N still spent plenty of time with just Medina. She had no reason to tell Sandy, but a small part of Jim told him that she did it on purpose, just to spite him.

“Jim!” Sandy stormed out of her room, rattling the china in the cabinets. Jim was throwing some water bottles and granola bars into his backpack. “Jimmy, what are you doing? Where are you going?” she asked, breathless. She ran up to him, balling his tee shirt into her fists, clinging to him. “Stay,” she sobbed out.

Jim, very gently, Medina noticed, unraveled her fingers from his shirt and peeled her away from him. His face was drawn and he looked exhausted, eyes burning from lack of sleep. He still wore his stress on his face.

He slipped on his jacket and pulled on the sneakers that were next to the door. Sandy was now collapsed, full tears staining her face. “Jimmy, no, no, baby. I’m sorry, mommy’s sorry, baby.”

His heart ached but he kept his face still. He looked to his twin, still watching-not moving toward their mother. “I’ll be back soon,” he said directly to Medina, avoiding Sandy.

His heart thrummed in his chest as he walked to his car, making sure the usual beach blankets were in the back. He pulled out his phone and tapped her contact name: “Snake Queen” an inside joke from when Y/N would snake every single wave from the bay boys, just to prove herself.

She answered on the first ring. “Hey!” He let out a sigh, trying to slow his breathing.

“Hi, babygirl. Get some shoes on and bring a jacket. I’ll be by in five,” he rushed out, but he couldn’t tell why he was moving so fast. Nobody cared enough to come after him, anyway.

“What? I thought you were in with Sand- I thought you couldn’t go out tonight?”

“I’ll be by in five-better be ready or I’ll leave without you,” he threatened but they both knew that for her, he would wait forever and a day.

He tore down Palos Verdes West Drive and turned onto Laurel, already seeing her house in view. According to Google, it was supposed to take six minutes to get there but if he went fast he could get there in three. He had timed it.

The outside light was on, their signal that she was home alone, father gone to DC. He beeped the horn to the rhythm of the song on the radio until she crept out of the front door, already laughing. Just seeing her smile, he already knew it was all worth it.

She locked up and slid into the passenger seat. “Jim, it’s late, be quiet!”

He just looked at her, a goofy smile on his face. He stuck his tongue out. “I do what I want,” he mocked her higher pitched voice. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, loving his silly mood.

“So, what is this? Where are we going?” She looked around the car for any hints but there were none.

“Can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.” He smiled and started to pull away from the house, driving a little too fast. “I can tell you that we’ll get pizza on the way. But after that, surprise.” The car wove in and out of traffic, always making her a little nervous, but she supposed that was where the thrill came from.

Under his good mood, she could tell that something was off about Jim that night. He wasn’t high, she could tell that immediately, all too acquainted with her boyfriend’s second personality. He was talking a little too fast, driving too reckless, eyes a little manic. There were no drugs involved, but she could tell he was high off something else. If she had to wager it was that he wasn���t with his mother.

Something must have happened. She swallowed thickly but was more than happy to be happy with Jim. Seeing him smile was really the most beautiful thing, she thought. She looked at his profile as he sped down the street. His eyes were bright, the blue shining with every headlight that shone on them. The crinkles next to his eyes told her that the grin she fell in love with was authentic. He let out a genuine laugh and placed his right hand on her thigh, thumb stroking over the soft fabric of her leggings.

“What?” He looked at her, a little self-conscious.

“Nothing.” Her eyes widened. “Sometimes I just fall in love with you all over again.”

--

They had been driving for three and a half hours, taking the long way despite his fast speed. It being so late, she had pulled her legs onto the seat and started napping while he drove, unable to keep her eyes open any longer. He kept a hand on her knee anyway.

At some point, she had put on one of his sweatshirts that he usually kept in the back seat. She pulled the hood over her eyes, drawstrings tight and he couldn’t help but giggle at her-never forgetting how lucky he was.

Finally arriving, he pulled into the dirt site, cutting the lights. “Baby,” he whispered really not wanting to wake her up. “We’re here.” He ran a thumb over her lips, the only exposed part of her face. She started to stir and he gently pulled the hood off, revealing half mass eyes.

“Where are we?” She met his quiet volume.

“Come on.” He bounded out of the car and jogged around to open her door, blankets tucked under his arm.

She tentatively climbed out and looked around. “The woods?” she guessed, sounding incredibly confused.

“Joshua Tree,” Jim corrected, throwing blankets over the roof of the car. “Climb up.” He gestured to the now padded and warm surface.

She finally understood what was going on, and she was more than happy to oblige. “You just want me to go up first so you can get a view,” she murmured, perfectly content burying her face in his chest.

“You are absolutely right. Now up,” he gave her bottom a gentle pat followed by a firm squeeze. She grumbled but listened, using the open door to boost herself up. “Mmmm,” he hummed. “That is my favorite view. You know what those leggings do to me,” he laughed and followed her lead onto the roof.

He situated himself next to her, feeling her warmth. She pressed herself to him, still feeling the chill in the air. Her gasp surprised him when she rolled onto her back.

There was the entire galaxy above them. In stunning detail, no light pollution, she felt like she could feel the stars’ light shining on them.

“I know, right?” Jim sighed next to her and turned over to look at the display of the universe. He swore if he stayed still enough he could feel the earth’s rotation. They both lay, taking measured breaths, fingers intertwining. “It doesn’t look real.”

“But it is,” she whispered to him. She wasn’t sure if he was talking about the stars anymore. She took the hand that wasn’t holding his and raised it to the sky. “Cassiopeia, right?”

He noticed Gemini wasn’t visible, a set of clouds covering it.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her temple. He curled around her, the whole universe above them but his whole universe in his arms.

--

They still partied. It was how they met, afterall and something that they both enjoyed. Jim, for the ability it gave him to become someone else, even just for a little bit. He’d wash his mind out with liquor and refill it with a poison of the night. And he knew it was bad but he enjoyed Y/N’s company when he was like that because he knew she was feeling just the same way.

Slowly though, he noticed that he was going through his stash slower, more tablets piling  up after his weekly pick up from Chad. Eventually he went to getting more every ten days, then two weeks. His mind became clearer in class, he was actually able to get a significant amount of work done on his thesis, and he started to enjoy the sun more. When he was in the waves balanced on his board he started to actually feel the sunlight rather than just seeing it, as if it were far away.

She never asked him to stop or slow down. Yes, she worried immensely but when Y/N saw that he was slowing down to her pace, that worry died down. Recreational use wasn’t all that bad, she reasoned with herself. Especially for someone coming back from true addiction, like Jim. He was doing good. And they were fine.

People around PV started noticing them always with each other. Partners in crime, Bonnie and Clyde. They’d walk around with their mischievous smirks, really just happy to be together, ready to laugh at any moment. The bay boys gave Jim shit, of course.

“The hot one, really, Jimmy? Leave something for the rest of us.”

“Medina’s friend? Come on.”

“Snake Queen? You’re just fucking her so she stops stealing your waves.”

But even the boys saw a change in Jim. He was lighter. Something about him seemed right. Less darkness behind his eyes, shoulders pressed down rather than bunched up, and always a smile after sealing a glance at Y/N during a set or at a bonfire.

It was at one of those bonfires he knew that he really was in it. The fire lit up her face, framing her from where she stood swaying to the shitty music Alex was playing on the guitar. She stole the beer out of his hand and took a small sip. In the other hand she laced his fingers to hers.

“Dance with me,” she said, hips still swaying. She looked completely in her element, nobody could tell if the confidence came from a few beers but that hardly mattered.

“No, no baby,” he laughed and shook his head, eyes suddenly fascinated with the sand between his toes.

“Pretend...that it’s the last night. That the world doesn’t exist.” She lifted his hand in hers and spun herself under his arm. He couldn’t care less what the boys though, but he knew they’d make fun of him the next day. He also knew he didn’t care.

He grabbed her hips and rocked to the music, holding her close. He rested his head on hers and pressed his lips to her soft hair. Looking out to the dark horizon he knew that it was going to hurt when it was all over. Because everything ended. But he also knew that there was no going back.

--

Deciding to get away for the day had been her idea and it wasn’t too far, but it wasn’t Palos Verdes and that’s all that mattered. Sure Manhattan beach was more crowded, less exclusive, but that was the point. To escape the judging eyes and oppressive cultures of both the bay boys and the tennis moms was a vacation in and of itself.

He had spent the night at hers, waking before dawn just to watch the moon’s light shadow over her face. Still dark, they packed up their boards and wetsuits in her Jeep and headed out.

Y/N had always loved this time of day, the dawn. Things were still except for her fluttering heart every time she looked at Jim. Jim, certainly not a morning person, felt exhilarated, escaping in a getaway car. For the whole day he wouldn’t have to be a ‘bay boy’ or his mother’s keeper. He could be Jim.

The crowd there was used to tourists, people who came and went, so the pair wasn’t questioned.

The sun rose and lit up the beach with it’s warm glow. Jim couldn’t help it-maybe he was romanticizing things, but he really didn’t care. He’d watched her all day like watching a movie-just taking in her small movements, fascinated by anything and everything she did.

Their boards were much too close for them to be properly waiting for any waves, but they were floating next to each other, intertwined fingers dipping into the water. He lifted them and kissed her palm. She leaned over meet his soft lips with hers and they just took each other in, every breath, every soft sigh until one of the other surfers told them to break it up or move somewhere where the swells sucked so they wouldn’t be hogging the good waves. They unwillingly parted, wanting to get just a few more sets in.

He did like watching her. From the start. But now she was his to watch.

Y/N cut through the water, impeccable balance, her hips shifting to accommodate the oncoming waves. He couldn’t help but appreciate her body in the skin tight, slick wetsuit. Could only be improved if she wasn’t wearing anything, or maybe just his denim jacket.

As fast as the sun rose and peaked, it started to set and the couple found themselves sprawled out on a blanket under the pier, the sand still warm under them.

“Stop it,” Y/N playfully chastised as Jim stole another piece of watermelon she was snacking on from the container.

“No,” he said simply and leaned over across the blanket to kiss her cheek. He looked out towards the water where the last of the surfers were coming in for the evening. “We could probably get one more set if…” he started but saw her sigh, a little conflicted. “But I’m exhausted, too.”

“I wish everyday could be like this,” she whispered longingly, knowing she was changing the topic but really unable to think of anything else. It was true, and her thoughts had kept returning to the fact that their day was perfect.

“Who says it can’t.” He looked to her, leaning back onto his elbows, long legs stretched in front of him. She mirrored him, sitting the same way while digging her toes into the sand. “One day, everyday will be like today,” he promised her.

He saw the tension in her face, her brows a little pulled. “Baby, what’s the matter?” he asked, a little nervous that he had taken it too far suggesting that they would share their days like this.

Maybe she wasn’t having the same ideas of a beach house and worn in surfboards and a dog and a few kids with another on the way….He had to cut himself off-knowing he was getting his hopes up for nothing. Who would ever want that with him. Nobody, his mind supplied.

Jim leaned over to her, propping himself up on one arm while the other went to rest on her thigh. She shook her head, trying to stop the negativity. Sometimes she couldn’t help it.

It was always on the best days she was reminded of her. And it wasn’t anyone’s fault-truly. It was just the idea that her sister would never have days like this. As good as this. She didn’t have any days, anymore.

By then, Jim knew what was happening. He saw the small changes in her. The pulling of her brows, the smallest frown gracing her lips. He always wanted to kiss it off-turn it into a smile.

It had only been a few years since Noel had died. Y/N mentioned to him once that it had been bone cancer, but he could tell that getting into specifics was too painful. It didn’t just ravage her sister’s body but it split her family- ruining everything they had tried to build. Their mother left shortly after Noel’s diagnosis, unable to cope. Her father became almost obsessive over Y/N’s safety and happiness until he, too decided to start distancing himself from her. Y/N had turned to pills and booze, granted in a much less spectacular fashion than Jim had. They had packed up and moved across the country to forget everything, just like everyone else in Palos Verdes, it seemed.

Jim didn’t know all the details and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. It confirmed his beliefs that every family has its own brand of fucked up, however. Y/N and Jim were the same, caught in the crosshairs of a familial dysfunction far too gone to repair. And she, like him, didn’t like to talk about it. But with him she didn’t have to, she knew he understood.

“I’m sorry,” she shook her head again, trying to clear it. “I shouldn’t be upset, I’m just-” She took a deep breath trying to steady herself. “I just wish she could be here, too. She’d love it here.”

Jim solemnly nodded, understanding but unable to process what it was like to lose a sibling. He couldn't imagine life without Medina.

“Don’t worry. You’re fine,” he mumbled, lips pressed to her cheek as he maneuvered himself closer to her, placing her in his lap.

She felt his toned arms circle around her and she was home.

“I’m sorry I get like this-I just have to spoil everything, don’t I?” She turned sideways, resting on his thighs.

“You have, in so circumstance...ever, spoiled anything. Ever,” he laughed trying to lighten the mood a little. “In fact, I think you make everything better.” Small tears started to leak from her eyes and he quickly leaned in to kiss them away, his lips brushing over her soft skin. “Baby, you always make everything better.”

He pulled away to look her in the eyes, her eyelashes still wet but the tears stopping.

Jim held her tighter, placing his lips on hers, moving slow-no need to rush. She was too pliant under his capable hands, turning to face him, thighs straddling him.

He hummed into her mouth and allowed his hands to slip lower, settling over her hips, while her wrapped around him, her fingers tangling in his hair.

Shifting their weight, Jim managed to lay her back onto the blanket, her hair fanning out around her. He thought it looked like a halo-so fitting for someone he considered an actual angel. Her legs, still wrapped around him, pulled him down onto her to tease. Not being shy of playing her game, he ground his hips into her, hard. Going by the gasp she let out, he knew she could feel him hardening.

“Jim, I don’t know about this…” She turned her head to the side to see if anyone was looking at them. A beautiful red flushed her skin and Jim smiled. He turned his attention to laying love bites across her collarbone.

They were in a relatively secluded area under the pier and because it was nearing dusk, it was quiet. Jim continued to travel southward with his little open mouthed kisses, now getting sloppy as he licked over her hip, just above her bikini bottoms. “I don’t see anyone around,” he mumbled, still fascinated by the smooth skin under his tongue. That and the little shifts and twitches he was able to draw from her. “And I just really want you, babygirl.”

He knew he had her.

He slipped her bikini to the side dip his tongue into her, desperate for a taste. He hummed and the vibrations made her tighten her hands in his soft hair. He looked up to her from between her thighs, blue eyes gleaming mischievously. He couldn’t help smile into her dripping core, nuzzling his nose against her clit as his tongue continued lapping at her not wanting to miss a drop.

But his cock straining against his board shorts was becoming an issue. He wanted to bury himself in her. Pulling away from her, her wetness on his lips, he traveled up her body and took lips in his own. “You taste that? You’re sweeter than honey,” he said against her lips, unable to separate himself from her body for even a second.

“Jim,” she sighed. “Please, I’m-”

Before she would say anymore he had slipped himself out of his shorts and pressed his cock against her warm cunt. Fucking tease.

“Please, please, please,” she whispered against his mouth.

“That’s what I like to hear.” As a reward Jim pressed into her-slow. He knew he was holding back but her reactions were priceless. The little moans and gasps, her fluttering eyelids, her arms pulling him closer because all she really wanted was him closer.

“God,” She managed to choke out when he bottomed out. He watched her head loll back, exposing her neck where he sucked a few light bruises. He was soft, but she was still his.

He moved slow, taking his time watching her come undone. “Babe, I need more,” she moaned. Jim shook his head and kept the slow pace he had set. “We’re doing this right, me and you. Slow.”

“Fuck,” she resigned as he continued to rock into her. Y/N tilted her head up to meet him in the softest kisses, him gently lapping into her mouth while she swallowed his moans that were starting to get louder. Briefly, she thought about them getting caught but as the sun went down there were even fewer people around.

She could feel Jim’s pace falter, start to get faster, more rhythmic, despite him wanting to keep a tap on things. Their kisses were sloppy, not even completely on each other’s mouths, just searching for skin.

He was getting a little rougher, hands going to her ass and squeezing all the while he continued fucking into her. She knew he was close, but holding back, savor the moment- she was too.

“Babe, I gotta-”

“Me too. Fuck,” he groaned, a little too loud.

To her displeasure, but surprise, he slowed down and pulled back. He took a full moment to take her in, her swollen lips, wet. Her hair was starting to curl from being in the water and fanning around her, her legs wrapped around him, open for him. He smirked when he saw the tanline his favorite bikini made on her smooth skin. She was practically glowing. And he really just couldn’t believe that she was his. All his.

“Jimmy,” she said to break him out of his reverie.

In two more gentle thrusts he found himself spilling into her, all of his body weight pressing them together. He watched her as she came around him while he was filling her. Her eyes rolled back a little as she threw her head back, her chest rising, back arching off the sandy blanket.

“I love you.” It wasn’t what he had planned to say. But seeing her so blissed out, clenching around him, pulling him in, chanting his name like a goddamn prayer, her cunt milking him for everything he’s worth--he said it. Not going back, now.

“I love you, too, Jimmy. God I love you.” She came down from her high, waves still rolling over her, as she nuzzled into his neck, placing kisses.

They ended the night by stargazing, deciding to move out from under the pier. Y/N fell asleep on his chest, wearing his jacket, breathing in his scent.

Jim loved the stars-loved to look at them. But he really couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at her.

Really cool people that actually enjoy my garbage: @ccodyfern @langdonsdemon @coloursunlimited @thecinderellaposts @michael-langdon-appreciation @langdonalien @tarkofetis @stupidocupido @katiekitty261 @ovarydosed @lovelykhaleesiii @starwlkers @aveiangdon @heelsamizayn @sojournmichael @oneday-i-will-fight-luke17 @tickled-pinkmoodpoisoning @codysfallenangels

Special thanks to @thecinderellaposts @michael-langdon-appreciation @starwlkers and @ccodyfern for putting up with me <3 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️DMODT- chapter 7 full

Eren's mood worsened as he tried to distance himself from everyone. He realised how dependant on those around him he'd become over the last few months. Nicollo had a sharp tongue, but cared for those whole appreciated his cooking. Hanji was crazy interested in science, and how science and magic could better the world. Moblit was ever loyal to Hanji, often acting as the counterweight to keep her from going off the deep end. Both Armin and Mikasa always seemed genuinely happy to see him at dinner time, or the times they'd bump into each other within the castle... and Erwin. He'd known they couldn't be friends, yet the man had been kind to him since his arrival. By their nature, omegas were more social than betas and alphas. "Relationships" and "families" were formed within the confines of a sanctuaries. Or they had at the one he'd been at, but then again, omegas didn't usually spend 5 years there. And now that he thought of it, there was no reason he shouldn't have taken his vows sooner... Why had Levi even sent him to the sanctuary? Was it his fault he was forced to stay there so long? Did the man hate him for sneaking into his stables that day? Outside his window, the sky show for the Marley party rained down. It was too beautiful for words, especially with Eren having no part of it. All the omega could do was sit in the frame of his window, watching the small pitiful sparks dance in his palm. Reiner had mentioned using a scrying spell, yet once he knew, he couldn't un-know. With all the festivities, no one would notice his absence. No one would be coming to check him, or notice if he stole in the magical stores to steal some chalk and a scrying crystal. Yet he'd never done a scrying spell before. If his magic flared or got out of hand, he could potentially injure his master, or even worse, summon them right into his bedroom... and how was he supposed to explain that? How was he supposed to admit that he knew Hanji wasn't his master? Everyone around him wanted to believe that so, so he had to pretend too. No matter how much it sucked and hurt. He'd rather have stayed at the sanctuary, or begged to have a normal non-magical life, than to be denied by the one who was supposed to share his soul and magic with. * Levi was on his forth goblet of wine already, and the feast had only just begun. The Marley party had only arrived a few hours before hand, but Zeke was on his nerves. This time the alpha was accompanied by a tall woman with a perpetual silencing glare on her face. It was as if she was being contaminated for merely setting foot on their island. The fact Zeke had brought with him more soldiers than last time was hard to ignore, as was the way Zeke seemed to be scanning the feast, as if looking for someone in particular. He didn't know, and he couldn't be bothered caring. Erwin had already left his side as he'd been roped into dancing within the U-spaded tables of the feast, and even watching the man making a fool of himself had failed to lift his mood. He didn't know why he felt so depressed, only that he was tired of it keeping him up at night "Erwin, your mood is most unbecoming of a prince. Is something wrong within the kingdom?" It took Levi a moment to realise he was being talked to. Zeke had been busy talking to a Marley soldier last time he'd looked to him "No. No, all is well. I was simply lost in thought over Levi's dancing" "He is quite terrible" "Usually he is much better. There must be something distracting him" "And hence, it is distracting you. It rather ruins the food to see the prince so sour" "I'm sorry. That wasn't my intent" "Perhaps I could lend an ear? Is it a trouble of the heart? You are really at the age where you must present an heir" "What's the good of having an heir, if no one can ascend the throne?" "This is why you're such a difficult nation to negotiate with. Tell me, do you plan to wed soon? There are many a lovely lady in Marley, or perhaps it's a male omega that takes your fancy" What? No. He didn't like Eren. He didn't know the boy... Why was he thinking of Eren? "It is. I can see the look upon your face. Is it someone I happen to know" Levi drained his goblet, holding up to be refilled by his attendant "It's nothing like that. Running this kingdom doesn't exactly leave time for romance" "One does not need romance to create an heir. As an alpha, you should know that well. I hear you recently went through your rut. Did you spend it alone?" Levi bit down a growl. No well mannered person would ask that "Why does that concern Marley?" "Like I said. We have many a nice woman, and omega in Marley... yet, I suppose there are one or two attractive enough omegas in your court. You could have them all, that is your right as ruler" Zeke clicked his fingers, one of his female attendants rising from the floor behind them, gathering her robes up, she climbed into his lap "See. This one knows. Her belly will soon be swollen with child, and she is not the only one. We are the ones who shall rule the world. While fine breeding is important, spares are also necessary..." Zeke was unpleasant enough. He didn't want to think about the alphas offspring. Kissing the girl, she giggled as she climbed from his lap. Zeke slapping her arse with a laugh, before she returned to her place on the floor "You're the prince of a kingdom Erwin. It is time you started acting like one" Levi sighed heavily. He didn't want to breed an "army" of spares. Having lost his virginity to Eren, had brought up enough strange emotions as it was, and certain frustrations that could only be calmed in the dead of night. He was just lucky he hadn't been forced to spend any extended time with the teen. As far as he could tell, the teen hadn't been amongst the mages sky show, leaving him to hope Zeke hadn't noticed. But if Zeke was so open with his attendants, then it would be doubtful he'd still be perusing Eren. After the unpleasant feast, Levi woke with a hangover the size of the island. Thankfully, he saw no signs of having dragged anyone into it, even in his drunken state. With a chill in the air, bathing wasn't as pleasant as it normally was. The fire in his hearth refusing to stay a lit, the water for shaving was cold to the point of frigid. Dressing and donning his thickest fur coat, his irritation increasing when he found his room was the only one affected. He felt like a fool for wearing such thick clothes as he entered the dining hall, for all eyes to fall upon him. Stupid Erwin wasn't there, but Prince Bitch was. Striding over to take his place at the table, Zeke was all smiles "Prince Erwin! How are we this morning?" "Fine. Yourself?" "Never better. Eager to start this hunt you have planned" Right. The stupid hunt. Why they had to head out so soon, he didn't know. At least he knew where the real prince was "I was talking to the staff. None of them seem to know where that pet mage of yours is" "I do not have a pet mage" "That's not what I've heard. Apparently his magic was strong enough to grow a quite magnificent apple tree. The warm cider from it has proven to be quite flavoursome. Perhaps we should have him teach our magic users? It'd be a shame for him to waste here" So not only had Zeke not forgotten Eren, someone had opened their mouths over the strength of Eren's magic... "Our mages have always been strong. The achievement of one mage, hardly matters" "Really?" "Yes. Now, I wish to eat my breakfast" Zeke gave him a long look, that Levi didn't like one bit. His smile far too wide to be genuine "Eat, eat. A good hunt is always better with a full stomach" It'd be even better if he had an actual appetite. His alpha was angered over such casual talk of Eren. Zeke couldn't take Eren from Eldia as it was. The teen had vowed himself to the empire, and had his nape marked so. If Zeke openly took Eren, he was sure the consequences weren't going to be pleasant for anyone. Not understanding magic had been a majorly idiotic idea. When Levi and Zeke finally headed out to join the ranks, Erwin decided to finally join them. The scent of rain faintly in the background of his scent. Levi's heart gave a small flip when he saw Eren climbing into a supply cart. He'd been hoping the teen would be remaining at the castle, under Hanji's care and that a few weeks of extended distance would cause his thoughts to abandon those of Eren. They were unhealthy, and unwanted, and not unnoticed by Zeke. Too consumed in glaring, he didn't smell the way his scent shifted to possessive, nor did he see the smile on Zeke's lips over it. If he'd realised, he would have realised that everyone but him, knew he had more than just a passing "thing" for the omega. * Eren wanted to be left alone. The previous night had been one of the worst he'd had in a while, and just wanted to forget how lonely he'd felt. He was still curled up in bed when a loud knock landed against his door. Sorely tempted to hide away and to tell them to fuck off, he covered his head with his pillow "Eren?! It's, Levi. Are you awake?" "No!" He couldn't very well ignore the prince, especially as he listened to his door creak open "Eren?" Pulling the pillow away, he rolled to look at Erwin. Unexpected concern on the man's face "Is everything alright?" Why did he care? Did he know that Eren knew his "little" secret "Huh? What?" "We did not see you last night, so I was wondering if you're ok?" "I'm sorry. I had a headache, and we all know my magic is..." He trailed off with a weak shake of his hand "Ah. Right. No doubt you know Prince Zeke has returned" "Really? I hadn't noticed" Erwin crossed his arms, giving Eren his best "unimpressed dad" look "Sorry. I didn't have the best nights sleep" "Today we will be leading an expedition south to go hunting, and we'll be taking Moblit with us. Hanji has her hands full back here. As Hanji's student, you'll be required to join us" But he wasn't "hers", she wasn't his true master "Are you sure? I do not wish to be in the way" "You won't be. You previously expressed an interest in herbs, and it was mentioned that you came from the south" "Shinganshima, sir" "I am sorry to hear that, is that where you lost your parents?" "It was. Will we be near Shinganshima?" "As you know, under our treaty, we were unable to resettle in Shinganshima. But yes, we shall be passing close to them, and into the forests of the southwest tip of the island" "And you want me to come with?" "Indeed. I believe there are herbs that only grow in that area. Ackerman will also be there..." Ugh. Mikasa was going to "mum" him... "Um... can I ask a question?" "Just one?" Now who was being immature?! "I was wondering about sleeping arrangements?" "You will be sharing a tent. The mages sleep with their masters to prevent anything happening, which means you shall be sharing with Moblit. Don't worry though, the tents are quite spacious, and reinforced with magic as we'll be there for some time" More magic he couldn't do "Do I have to ride a horse?" "You'll be with Moblit. While we hunt, you'll be helping him with herbs" "And no Zeke?" He sounded pathetically hopeful "I cannot say. We rarely hunt the South East forest, so despite the hunt supposedly taking up the next two weeks, don't be alarmed if it doesn't" "I guess I'll get ready then" "Of course. Make sure you eat before you join us" "I will, thank you" Erwin raised one of his huge bushy brows "What are you thanking me for?" "I don't know. It seemed the thing to do" Erwin gave a soft laugh, before sweeping out his room and leaving the damn door open. Groaning, Eren flopped back on his bed. What the hell was this shit?! Why couldn't he stay at the castle? If Hanji was his master, he should be here. Not teaching Moblit about herbs, when the man probably knew better than he did. It was a little over two hours later that Eren found himself sitting beside Moblit. Travelling sandwiched between the two parties of soldiers, Moblit hadn't bothered trying to talk him out of his bad mood. They'd exchanged pleasantries when he'd climbed up into the cart, but that was it. Moblit looked as happy as Eren felt. Neither of them had asked to be riding across the countryside at the whims of two stupid Princes and an imposter, and Eren had been keeping his distance from the man since "figuring out" that Hanji was indeed not his master. He knew it wasn't Erwin. He felt something when around the man, but now that he knew what his lack of feelings around Hanji actually was, he knew the same thing applied to the prince. Moblit also wasn't his master. So far, he'd crossed only a handful of people off his list. Moblit. Hanji. Erwin. Levi. Armin. Nicollo, and Mikasa. And Reiner, though something felt off about him... Perhaps because he was from Marley? All this fresh air and sunshine left him with far too much time to think this all through. It had to be someone "up" in the castle, in order to get Hanji to comply. Or it could have been a simple soldier, to limit his powers so Hanji could run her experiments. He'd seen half the army, and they were big men... but no men he wanted inside of him. Whoever had held him, had made him feel warm and safe... something he longed to feel again.

[sweetkiwi-vt]

Creepypasta OC

Pablo and Lilly #digitalart #creepypasta

About the characters:

Both are related.

The man in the chair is called Pablo...

No wait.

I'll just let them speak.

Lilly:

Hello!

My name is Lilly Ork and I'm 4 years old.

I like pandas and bears, because they are really cute!

I also like listening to my papa. He always gives me something fun to do!

I don't like lemons. They make me want to throw up, also I don’t like chilies, but I like cakes! Papa doesn’t let me to eat them so much though.

I don’t have a mama or grandpa and grandma. I saw papa kill them.

I don’t go to school either. Papa said that that's a bad idea.

Daddy told me that when I was little I met my grandma and grandpa once. They didn’t like me, when I asked about my mommy he said she didn’t like me either!

I didn’t mind it though. As long as papa gives me Pat's on the head and buys me new toys every time an old one gets dirty I don’t mind!

I have long brown hair made in pigtails, with such cute pink ribbons I took from a girlie I saw on the street. She got really mad at me, her mommy too. So papa took her out that night! Then he gave me the ribbons!

I wear a really pretty one piece dress with paws print on it! Papa bought me that dress recently, but from being nice white color it turned red, the brown. When I asked my papa about it, he told me that red color changes to brown when dry. I think I missed a part then.

One day I got really sick, my eye was really itchy, so papa and I went to see a doctor.

Papa then told me that I had Heterochromia. I'm not sure what that means. He gave me an eyepatch to hide one of my eyes.

I have a story on that too. Little while ago I got lost in a supermarket. Papa and I were out shopping for trash bags and something to eat. An old lady found me there. She told me I have beautiful eyes. Apparently I have one green and one blue eye.

Papa was mad at me for going off on my own, but he praised me for finding another annoying victim.

I don’t speak much, papa doesn’t like noise, so I'm quiet. I don’t really like to speak either. Now that I think about it, I don’t like hearing other people talk. Papa always talks to me and with me but I don’t hate it. Because its papa.

When I'm alone with papa and not haunting annoying people, we usually draw and collect things. I like doing that!

It's really fun to collect rocks and then draw on them!

What I dislike to do is talking with older men. They always look weirdly at me. My papa too dislikes them.

I cant read or write but papa is teaching me!

I can now read headlines of newspapers alone!

I really like my teddy bear. This is 3rd one already.

Kill?

I like to give poison to people my papa points out to me.

I usually walk to a person papa doesn’t like and then lead them astray!

Then my papa strangles them!

If not that, then I put white poisonous powder I have in my teddy bear.

People don’t suspect anything. That's weird.

Well it was nice talking to you!

Papa is behind you though. His eyes are telling me that both of us were quiet annoying and noisy just now!

Good bye! It was nice talking to you!

Eren:

My name is Eren Ork. I am 24 years old, a collage drop out and orphan.

Well not to then full extent, as you will hear later on, I killed my mother, father and step brother.

Why?

Because I was bored and they were all annoying.

That's what I hate the most, annoying people.

This is my story. It's not short but well, listen to it while you still can.

I've been alone since I can remember.

I grew up in a rich family.

"Next heir of our cooperation"

"He is so smart he can do anything."

Well, I would've stayed if my mother wasn’t a cunt like she was.

She would force me to study and made me spend my hours watching my father work.

Maybe because she wasn't even sure if I was my father's child.

As far as I know, I'm a single child. An only son of the CEO, and like I said only one who can actually take over the company.

So I was adored and respected to some point.

I learned how to act.

Sing.

How to play a piano.

And how to hate my family.

I never went to actual school. Other then my mother's abuse in a way, I was always alone. So when I turned 12.

I discovered something really amusing.

"We are reporting. The several killings that have been going on. As the reporters from the scene are reporting. In this small house, like you can see. We found multiple bodies. Their skin was used as a canvas, is what the policeman are stating. It is still..."

My face was glued to the screen.

The fact, that someone could do something like that, amused me. It seemed interasting. I wanted to try it.

But...

"What are you doing?! Aren’t you supposed to study?!" My mother was screaming at me from the door to my room. She's so loud and annoying.

"Get away from that. Damien! Take that thing out of my son's room!" So loud.

"You move away from that thing!" She stomped next to me, and grabbed me for my arm and pulled me up.

"Let me go, you loud hag." Is what I told her.

She just frowned and slapped me.

I felt it, I wanted to return her the same favor. But my father was behind her.

"Just what do you think you are doing?!"

That night, they fought through the whole night.

I just thought.

"Oh. This is fun"

For the 1st time in my whole life I found something fun. Yes, the 1st time.

Due to my actions and absence, my father bought me a cat. It was loud so I killed it. Then the dog, then the hamster, then they just gave up on buying me pets. I would always think of some reason on how they died. I couldn't tell them I liked how when they kinda screamed.

So, when the tutors would come in...

I would make them turn away.

Leaving my father and mother the only other option to educate me.

Boarding school.

When I was 15. I got sent into the boarding school. It was a private school, which are usually boarding schools. Unlike other rich boys I was thrilled to get sent into one.

I was away from that annoying mother. But...

Now there were some adults with no real status giving me orders...

So annoying.

It wasn't an only boys school so.

"Hey Pablo is kind of handsome?"

"I know right. His brown hair and eyes are so special!"

To let you know. I have dark brown hair and green eyes. I was told a lot that my Emerald like eyes resemble my mother's, never saw her in color, and my hair kind of resembles my father's. That's why they probably suspect me not being an true Ork, but a bastard child of some sort. And my build, well it was normal. I had height, but I wasn't anything special really. So...

"Ahhh. I wonder how would be to date him." "His family cant reach mine though" I never understand those girls.

So they are annoying.

I want them to go away.

"Hey" I spoke in a normal tone. I didn't want to let them know I'm pissed off. More like "They are giving me a headache."

"Oh sorry." The girls looked at me surprised. Only one of them spoke.

They had sad faces on. I couldn't care less. I would like to see them all cry. Maybe I could mess with them for a bit.

I could only grin on that idea. The fact I didn't think of something like that for so long....

So by the time I was about to graduate. I was considered popular in my school.

People would want to talk to me.

For the first time in my whole life, what my bitch of mother thought me paid off.

I was popular, I had fun ruining people's lives.

Until I mention the rest. For the whole 4 years I haven't visited my mother or father. I couldn't stand idea of them.

I haven't seen them or talked to them for 3 or 4 years. My boarding school didn’t allow parent visits, so I saw them at the day of graduation for the 1st time after 3 years.

"God. You've grown so much Pablo." My mother was standing in front of me. When I was 14 I was still looking up at her, now I have to look down to be able to follow her. She had her hand on my cheek. She was crying. I still didn’t understand it. She was also annoying. But during my time here. Other then good grades and popularity. I gained ability to fake my feelings quiet easily.

Not that I felt any.

I just smiled at my mother. "You've gotten older mother.".

"Well aren’t you mister obvious."

My father was staring at me from the side. He had a grown on his face.

You asshole.

What so I don't take after you anymore so you get all cold with me.

After the graduation ceremony. I returned home. And started collage.

In collage it was the same as high school. This time it wasn't a private school. My father's business was falling apart.

He also held a grudge against me never visiting home.

Like I care.

In collage, I met an interesting girl.

She was from a poor family and liked me.

So we started dating.

It was a good way for me to try out discovering "love".

Since it seems like my mother is planning something. Just to be ready.

One day, she called me drunk and came to visit her.

And we slept together.

And then, the bitch disappeared.

She dare disappear after using my body.

And year later, she appeared. But this time she had a baby with her.

An ugly worm.

BITCH.

Ahh

Annoying.

Annoying.

Annoying. Annoying.

They are all annoying.

She gave the brat to me and left again. Like hell.

"What the hell?! Just what do you think you just did?!" Screamed my mother at me as I was left in a hallway, door just closed with 2 month old baby in my hands.

Tch.

"Now no one would want to wed you! You idiot chil--" next thing I knew was that my grip was on my mother's neck. "You are so annoying and loud. Another word and Ill snap that God damn neck of yours." I let her down.

Baby was just looking at me, she didn't cry. Just stared. That took my interest.

"I will be in my room."

"Pablo! Get back here!" I walked away listening to my mother scream my name as I went up the stairs to my room.

I was 20 when I got my daughter in my hands.

Pretty young.

She was the only quiet one. She cried first few months until she turned one. After that she didn't cry almost at all.

My father and mother didn’t like Lilly one bit. So when she turned one I dropped out of collage and was kicked out of my house.

I saved money over the course of my birthdays from age 18 to 20 and had enough money to get myself a apartment and small job.

.

.

.

Hah.

You think that's the end of my story?

Of course not.

When Lilly turned 2.

I went back to my house. Just to show Lilly her family.

There I met, a boy. He was around 10 years old. Heh. My parents adopted another child. To rise him as their company's successor.

Hahahaha.

Apparently, my father's company got big after I left.

They didn't even bother to tell me, to visit their only son.

I put Lilly down and snapped.

I killed my whole family that night. Oh how?

Simply by strangling them all to death, wouldn't be enough? Well that’s right.

Despite them being worse the horse crap. They did let me in the house.

We were invited to dinner every weekend. So I thought of a better way to kill my family.

I purchased a slow killing poison, I made Lilly put some in my father's tea when he was playing with her. For my mother, when I was showing her off my cooking skills, I cur her wrist open. I could just grin as she bled out. How did I not get found out? Because I had Lilly with me. I would go out of the kitchen "to fetch something" while Lilly would be in kitchen for a little while then start crying or scream. My plan went just as expected.

My father collapsed after being drugged for weeks on the poison, and my mother would be killed in a matter of hour.

All that was left was to get rid of evidence and then act as if I know nothing.

That day staff was out of the house. So Lilly didn’t have to scream or cry. There was a main butler and maid, but they didn't really care, being occupied in their own business.

So I just gave my mother sleeping pills. She probably overdosed. And the fiasco with my father went as planned.

So my dirty Step Brother, he too was a sleep. All that was left was to...

Bam. Put the house on fire. That's what I did. And...

"The big cooperation of the Ork family has fell under, due to the whole family's death. The whole house was burned to the ground by, how it seems, a mistake from one of maids. She used the fire lamp trying to light the rock over in the kitchen, burning the whole house down. Fire started in the kitchen  making the staff fall unconscious due to the smoke. When the family noticed the fire it was already too late."

I was staring at the screen with grin on my face. Lilly in my lap looking at the screen. Lilly was smiling,

The first words she every said were papa.

After that she never spoke again.

She was smiling this time and seemed really exited. "Papa! We do that again?!" Didn’t expect her to react that way.

"Did you find that fun?"

Lilly nodded at my question.

She is truly my daughter.

I put my hand on her head.

"Of course, well kill lots and lots of annoying people again."

"Yes!"

And so

My killing spree as a Black Demon began. Yes. My nickname is only black. I wonder who is the worst in our duo? I gave my precious angel a teddy bear, in teddy bear there was poison. Every time we go to kill.... We are always ready.

Hope you liked them. I'm planning on changing their names , but I don’t now in what.

If you have a suggestion please do tell me.

[mavrisfanfics]

A long overdue update on my life

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I've been so inactive since the beginning of the year, but this year has been busy as hell.

I've thought of explaining my situation to you for a long time, but whenever my schedule was about to clean up... It didn't. That led to an unannounced hiatus that has been making me feel more and more guilty.

That is why I have a request rotting in my inbox that I've been trying to make for MONTHS, with no success, because I've been so tired that my creativity... Just vanished...

Occasionally I've had my moments of inspiration and posted something, but other than that...yeah...

So, here are the reasons for my hiatus (it’s very long).

TL;DR: I first had a big project and then I tried to balance work and college and failed miserably:

February was the beginning of my second semester, and with it came an important project. I study Digital Games and Multimedia, and every year we have to make a game. I failed my 2D project last year, so I was obsessed and crazy about this one. It was supposed to end in July, then it didn't and took over my summer vacations and my soul. (But I was able to pass it this time, thank GOD!!)

I was planning to start working in August and leave at the end of October, get some extra money, but I was only interviewed in the end of August and began working in September. Midway through September, classes started again and, right off the bat, one of my teacher gave us evaluation projects, literally on the first day, to deliver 3 weeks later.

Since then, my work schedule became incredibly messed up and my school projects became harder and harder to make. In November, I was in pretty bad shape: In the second weekend I had a mental breakdown midway through my work shift, in a mix of physical illness; stress; worry for a project I had to deliver that week, for which people had high expectations of me, and for which I was running out of time; and just a bitch colleague I seriously wanted to punch in the face. They had to send me away for the day.

On the third week of November, I started neglecting myself to be able to both work and do another project. I ended up spending nearly all week without showering, and my house by then was a mess so big I felt my stress level rising just thinking of it. I was also eating preety bad, just winging it through to be able to even eat at all, because I didn’t have time to buy groceries, nevermind cook!

The final week of November was the toughest. I had to work late nights in many days, my workplace abused my work schedule to the point I came up with a bullshit excuse to skip one day from how tired I was, I missed my best friend’s birthday, and the only thing keeping me going was knowing that December 2nd was my last day at work. (And that I was able to finally get a PS4)

I’ve spent the last week trying to recover, get my sleep, socialize, clean my house, visit my parents! I spent three months without visiting my parents, except my birthday where I was able to come over for day and half. Heck, I even missed my dog’s final moments, he passed away in September due to illness (that is why I reblogged the puppy post yesterday, and because I have two new good boys I want to show you~!).

Needless to say, writing has been the last thing in my mind. Now that I have more free time, I want to use it to go on walks, christmas shopping, play games (especially Supergiant’s most recent one and drool over the protagonist), finish my school projects in time... So I doubt I’ll be picking a Word document anytime soon.

Sorry everyone, for the long post and the long absence. I still love you all!

[juminss-cat]

Can you please add v to the fighting with the happy ending request?

I added Saeran, too! I hope you enjoy!

Link for the RFA part of this headcanon: here

***

JIHYUN/V:

☀︎ You knew that Rika would always hold a place in V’s heart, no matter how hard both you and he tried to push her out.

☀︎ She was his first real love, his fiancé, the person he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with.

☀︎ So you were patient and waited for her presence to slowly diminish from the household and him, no matter how disheartened you were.

☀︎ But months later her photos still littered the house, paintings of her on the walls in the gallery, on his easels, things of theirs scattered on every surface.

☀︎ It was as if you were the other woman, the dirty secret; you felt like a stranger in your own relationship.

☀︎ There was nothing of you, no paintings or photos on the walls, no trinkets you’d bought V on display, nothing to show you even lived there.

☀︎ And it hurt.

☀︎ You waited to ask him, not wanting to bring it up at a bad time, not when Jihyun was sad or in the midst of his work.

☀︎ But when his latest painting was once again of her you snapped.

☀︎ “Why do you still paint her?” You asked, jealousy finally winning over rationality and you resisted the urge to stomp your foot.

☀︎ The paintbrush stilled and light teal eyes met yours, a frown etched onto his features.

☀︎ “I don’t paint her a lot, my darling,” he reasoned and you scoffed, gesturing around his studio.

☀︎ “She is all you paint, Jihyun, you never paint anything but her.”

☀︎ He looked around at his works and something akin to realisation dawned in his eyes.

☀︎ “Oh,” he whispered and you bit your lip, closing your eyes.

☀︎ “I’m sick of feeling like a third wheel in my own relationship,” you snapped, eyes prickling and heart aching.

☀︎ He opened his mouth before closing it again and you shook your head.

☀︎ “You still love her, don’t you?” You asked and he remained silent, lips pressed together tightly.

☀︎ Your heart shattered.

☀︎ “You know what? You can have her,” you muttered, choking down a sob.

☀︎ That seemed to jerk him into action and he reached out and grabbed your arm.

☀︎ “Darling, I have you, why would I possibly want anybody else,” he asked, resting a hand on your cheek.

☀︎ You jerked out of his grip.

☀︎ “Take a look around you, V, you don’t have anything of me on display, not one picture or painting or memory. It’s all her, you and her,” you said, tears slowly dripping down your face and V’s heart clenched.

☀︎ “MC, that’s not true,” he pleaded and you laughed bitterly.

☀︎ “Yes, it is,” you replied, “she’s even still framed on your bedside cabinet. The only thing you have of me is actually me, and you don’t even have that anymore.”

☀︎ V froze, eyes searching yours and heart stuttering as he fumbled for you, suddenly feeling blind all over again.

☀︎ “MC, please, please don’t go,” he begged and you sobbed and wiped your eyes, heart tearing in two.

☀︎ “I don’t want to live in her shadow, Jihyun, I want to be important to you, more than she is,” you explained, sucking in a shuddering breath before walking out of the studio and the house.

☀︎ He sat down heavily and put his head in his hands, your words echoing in his ears.

☀︎ It was then he looked around his studio and saw Rika, paintings, pictures, mementos.

☀︎ He didn’t have to look around the rest of the house to know it would be the exact same.

☀︎ In a fit of rage he stood up and streaked red paint through his most recent painting, marring Rika’s features. She had claimed enough of his life and he was done with it.

☀︎ He wrapped up all the paintings of her, along with the pictures, and put them in a box to sell as soon as he found buyers.

☀︎ His heart ached as he realised he had not one single painting of you, nor a framed photo anywhere.

☀︎ How could he have been so blind?

☀︎ no pun intended

☀︎ Taking out his camera, he set to work.

☀︎ This cinnamon roll was going to paint every single photo he had of you and hang them around the house, replace every frame of Rika with two of you.

☀︎ The ache in his heart was buried while he worked, absorbed in colours and brush strokes, lighting and details.

☀︎ He lost track of time, the hours bleeding into one another like the hues of paint, sunsets and sunrises mingling into one golden blur.

☀︎ When he was finally done he set down his things and stood back to admire his work.

☀︎ He wasted no time in setting it all up; he was going to apologise to you in the most extravagant way he could.

☀︎ It would be a lot easier for him to apologise, however, if you were actually picking up your phone.

☀︎ After ten missed calls and numerous texts that went unanswered, he resorted to contacting Saeyoung, almost begging for your location.

☀︎ Must to his chagrin, you were staying with Yoosung; getting to speak to you was going to be harder than he thought.

☀︎ Half an hour later and after having the door slammed multiple times in his face, he was finally standing face to face with you.

☀︎ “MC, MC I know I have wronged you, I am so sorry, my darling. Please, let me make it up to you, just come with me, come home,” he pleaded and you pursed your lips, shaking your head.

☀︎ “It’s been five days, Jihyun, five! You haven’t even bothered to contact me until now, is that how worthless I am to you? Did you even notice I was gone?!” You snapped and V stood taken aback by your words.

☀︎ “I didn’t realise that much time had passed,” he confessed and you closed your eyes, keeping tears at bay.

☀︎ “Please just save me the heartbreak and the sob stories, you don’t want me, I get it,” you whispered, surprised he could hear you.

☀︎ His heart shattered and he pulled you into his embrace, burying his face into your hair.

☀︎ “My darling, I want nothing but you,” he replied, holding you tightly and rubbing your back.

☀︎ “Prove it,” you answered and he pulled away, face set in determination and nodded.

☀︎ “If you come home with me, I hope you’ll find I already have,” he said, taking hold of your hand and gently leading you towards the door.

☀︎ “Don’t you dare hurt her, V! I’ve just come to accept that Rika wasn’t entirely your fault, I don’t want to have to hate you all over again,” Yoosung warned, shooting you a worried glance.

☀︎ “It’s okay, Yoosung, I can handle myself,” you replied, giving him a small smile and he nodded, glaring V down until he too nodded in agreement.

☀︎ Upon your arrival home, you noticed immediately how your face greeted you wherever you looked, shining from every wall, looking down from every mantlepiece and available surface.

☀︎ The majority seemed to be hand-painted too, not just photographs he’d printed.

☀︎ “I apologise for losing track of the time, MC, I hope this somewhat explains my absence,” he said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck and not quite meeting your eyes.

☀︎ “Jihyun,” you whispered, tears flooding your eyes and his gaze snapped up to meet yours, face contorting into worry.

☀︎ “Do you not like it? Is it not enough? I can do more! I’m selling everything I have of Rika, too, but I can cover every square inch of this house with your face if that’d make you happy, just tell-” You cut off his ramblings with a kiss pressed to his lips, arms wrapping around his neck.

☀︎ You pulled away, laughing shakily.

☀︎ “It’s perfect, thank you, thank you so much,” you told him, tears dripping from your eyes and the worry lessened, face relaxing.

☀︎ “I am sorry I have been so ignorant, MC, you should have come to me sooner,” he murmured, pressing another kiss to your mouth, followed by one to your nose, cheeks and forehead.

☀︎ You giggled and shook your head.

☀︎ “I wanted to give you time to sort out your feelings,” you explained and he looked at you adoringly.

☀︎ “You truly are an angel, MC, what did I ever do to deserve you?”

SAERAN/UNKNOWN:

☹ Much like his brother, the fight started because he was pushing you away on top of insulting you.

☹ You were trying your best to help him through his episodes and flashbacks, but his harsh words always stung and, to be frank, you were fed up.

☹ “Do you always have to do this?” You snap, standing up from the table abruptly, slamming your hands on the table in front of you.

☹ “I’m not doing anything,” he replied coldly, shoveling another forkful of food into his mouth, doing his best to ignore you.

☹ “You’ve ruined another dinner, Saeran, I hope you’re happy,” you said, balling your fists and clearing your plates, scraping the food you’d worked so hard on into the bin.

☹ “You could do with eating less anyway,” he snorted and you froze heart-shattering.

☹ Your self-esteem plummeted to below rock bottom, everything that you’d worked so hard to build up collapsing like a house of cards in a gust of wind.

☹ “Fuck you,” you whispered, pressing your lips together and closing your eyes.

☹ “Just stating the truth, sweetheart,” he all but sneered and you snapped, picking up a glass and throwing it at the wall behind his head.

☹ He flinched and you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad, not with how he’d been constantly treating you.

☹ “And I’m the psychotic one,” he laughed and it took everything in you to not scream in his face.

☹ Saeyoung came skidding into the kitchen after hearing the glass break and looked at your reddened face and Saeran’s cold one.

☹ “O-kay,” he whistled and pulled up a chair, “let’s talk it out, kiddos, Dr. Choi is here,” he joked, attempting to make you smile.

☹ Saeran glared at him and stood up abruptly.

☹ “I’m so fucking sick of everyone in this fucking house,” he snapped and you walked towards him, glaring him down.

☹ “You think we’re not sick of you? I get it, Saeran, we’ve all tried to support you as best we can and all you do is push us away and insult us,” you reply, tears pooling in your eyes.

☹ “Well if you weren’t such a stupid bitch maybe you’d know when to quit,” he yelled, eyes flashing dangerously and you took a step back.

☹ “You’re right,” you sighed as you grabbed your bag from over your chair, “I guess I am a dumb bitch if it took me this long to figure out I can’t do this anymore.”

☹ “Woah, woah, MC, hold up,” Saeyoung called, grabbing your arm.

☹ “Let the cow go,” Saeran snapped and you yanked your arm out of his grasp.

☹ “I can’t handle this, Saeyoung! Do you understand how much this hurts? I know he has problems and I’ve done everything I bloody can to help him, but it always explodes in my face. I have my own issues and I’ve never felt lower than when he insults me! It hurts when the person who you love and who’s supposed to love you, constantly makes you feel like you’re worthless!” You explain, wiping away your tears and heading for the door, leaving Saeyoung confounded as to what to do.

☹ “I’m done, Saeran. Congratulations, you got what you wanted,” you told him, looking him directly in the eyes as you walk out of the door, not a flicker of regret on his face and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

☹ You walked wherever your feet took you, passing cars and shops until you came to rest by an overpass, standing by the rail and looking at the cars below.

☹ For a brief moment you wondered if Saeran would care if you jumped, if he’d even mourn you; after all, all you seemed to do was annoy him.

☹ The cars were starting to look more and more enticing and your hands gripping the rail itched to lurch you over.

☹ “MC!” you froze and turned around to see Saeran standing behind you, wringing his hands.

☹ “What do you want,” you choked out, blinking back tears, not wanting to let him see you cry.

☹ “Please, come here, come away from the edge,” he pleads and you stare him down, shaking your head.

☹ “Why would I?” You ask and he bites his lip, eyes wide and panicked.

☹ He took a deep breath and locked his gaze on yours, “because I love you.”

☹ Your heart stuttered at the sincerity he used, the honesty in eyes, the vulnerability.

☹ You knew how much he disliked saying those words, you knew he was scared because everybody he’d ever loved had hurt or left him.

☹ You slowly stepped away from the edge and towards him, conflicted feelings tearing you in two.

☹ “MC, I’m so sorry, I realise what I say is wrong and hurtful but I get so scared and so…so, agh, I don’t know,” he yelled, gripping his hair and tugging, hard.

☹ “Saeran,” you said, resting your hand on his shoulder and allowing him to rest his head on your shoulder.

☹ “MC, please don’t leave me. I’m selfish and I need you and I can’t handle it if you leave me,” he pleaded and you nodded slowly.

☹ “You need to stop hurting me like this, Saeran, please,” you whisper against his temple and he nods, burying his face deeper into your neck.

☹ He tried his best from then on and worked with his therapist to better regulate his anger and frustration.

[pics-to-fics]

Trusting the Unknown

Dean x Reader x (kinda) Sam

Word count: 1752

Summary / Request: “Would you do a fiction where reader is living with the boys and she likes Dean but she is dating someone else then one day her boyfriend beats her and she goes to dean”  I kinda strayed away from the request a little bit but it ends good. 

Warnings: Cursing, bruises, mention of deaths and abandonment. 

Notes: I apologize for the absence for so long. I have more time on my hands now. Also, all the pictures I have been using have been from google. 

You didn’t see it coming, not this time anyways. A hand flew towards your face. Yu were a hunter for Chuck’s sake, but for whatever reason, you froze. You had no idea what to do. You never thought that he would ever hit you. Yes, he. Just another human on the face of the earth. His name was George. You and him have been together for about 6 months. He has never gotten violent with you, physically anyways. But today caused him to snap. Whether it was your tone of voice or what you said, he didn’t like that fact that you were leaving for another hunt even though you just got back from one of the worst cases you have ever worked with the Winchester brothers.

Your mother died when you were about 2 years old. Your father never told you the real reason for her disappearance, but all you knew was that he blamed you. He left you when you were 10. Moving from foster home to foster home wasn’t the easiest but you made do. You always wanted to know the reasoning but once you looked deeper in the supernatural world, you realized that there was more than just humans and animals. You figured that the monster that either took or killed your mother was a werewolf. You had no idea what to do with this information other than to keep it to yourself. But when you over heard two strange men talking about a wendigo, a creature that you read about just a few hours earlier, you knew that they would have the answers. You were scared to even walk up to them, but as soon as you walked up to them, the taller one of the two looked down to you with a curious smile while the other stayed hunched over the engine of the car as he tries to fix whatever problem the vehicle had. You ended up standing in front of them for a whopping 5 seconds before you cleared your throat, “How do you guys know about wendigoes?” You said out of the blue.

Not one of the best ways to start a conversation. You soon realized that maybe the supernatural was a presser point for these guys. The shorter man was suddenly behind you, clamped his recently whipped hand over your mouth to make sure you couldn’t scream. He hurried you into the room they must have stayed in. The taller one quickly closed the door behind us. Then he grabbed a hunter’s knife. You tried to scream louder from behind the hand. The giant took a hold of your arm and raised your sleeve up then stopped what he was about to do. You had stopped screaming and started crying. You closed your eyes in shame as your arm was covered in hand shape bruises. He looks up to you with sorrow in his eyes then saw the back eye you wore from George’s back hand. He then looks to the man behind you with sadness in his eyes. The other man released you then turned you around quickly but gently. He takes hold of your arms gently and looks over them, he brushes a thumb over one of the newer ones, you wince in pain as more tears fall on your checks. You didn’t realize that you were looking down when he raised your chin with his course hand. He made it that you couldn’t look anywhere else but into his bright green eyes. He looked at you in concern then his eyes also drifted to the black eye. He then looked back into your eyes, “Who did this to you?”

You looked back down, “My boyfriend.” You said bluntly.

The two men looked at each other, you couldn’t see their faces. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know if you should scream, cry, or try to run. You just stood there, looking down to the ground. You rolled your sleeves down slowly. You heard them talking to themselves, probably figuring out how to kill you. Then you heard one of them say, “We can’t just leave her like this.”

You turn to them as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve. “You’re… You’re not going to kill me, are you?” You asked timidly.

The taller one walked up to you then knelt on one knee. “We’re not going to kill you.”

“Maybe this so called boyfriend of yours” the shorter one said.

“Dean. Not helping. Sorry about my brother. I’m Sam. That’s Dean.”

You try to muster up a smile but all you could do is a small side smile. “Y/N.”

Sam smiled as he wiped a stray tear off your cheek with his thumb. “I would say nice to meet you, but under the awkward circumstance. I’m sorry about all that. You asked about wendigoes, right?”

You nod as a child would after it got in trouble. You didn’t know why they ended being nice to you after what they did. Was it because of them seeing the bruises or another reason all together. “Wendigoes are nasty sons of bitches. They go for anyone and anything. Mostly humans though.” Dean said.

“Is that why there has been so many deaths in town lately? I’ve been reading about them all day, but there isn’t that much in the local library.” You said with confidence.

“Why not use a laptop or a computer?” Dean asks.

“Because we don’t get internet all the way out here. It’s like a dead zone over here. No internet, no cell phone service. Nothing. If you look around, there are no wires or telephone poles. I moved here when I was 20 years old. It’s like this town isn’t on any radar.”

The brothers look at each other then back to you. Dean asks you with a small tilt of his head. “How old are you? 20? 25?”

“22. Why?”

Dean shakes his head as if he was thinking you were older. They walk over to the sitting area, Dean grabs two beers from the fridge then looks over to you, “Want one?”

You shake your head with a small smile. “Mind if I use the restroom?”

“Go ahead.” Sam says.

You make your way to the restroom. Before sitting down on the toilet still clothed, and silently crying. You look down to your phone, 10 missed calls, 25 messages, 10 voicemails. You cried even more. You unlocked your phone and listened to each voicemail. One by one, crying more after each one. All of them saying the same thing, ‘Once I find you, I’ll kill you.’ Or ‘You are in a world of hurt when you get back.’ You knew if you ever went back to him, you would never see the light of day again.

~~~~~~DEAN POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           “What are we going to do with her Sam? She can’t stay here with that douche of a boyfriend.”

           “Then what? Take her with us and possibly get killed by a monster. But I understand where you’re coming from Dean. But it’s not safe for her.”

           “I don’t know Sammy. But all I know is that son of a bitch has to pay for hurting her.”

           “Why are you so protective of her? Do you like her?”

           “Shut up.”

           I look up when I hear the sound of the bathroom door squeaking open.

~~~~~NORMAL POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           You walk out into view of the brothers with tear soaked checks, you were shaking like a leaf, the phone in your hand ringing like crazy. Dean rushes to your side then looks down to your phone and saw George’s name on the screen. “He’s going to kill me.” You whisper in fear.

           Dean and Sam look at each other quickly before Dean took the phone from your hand. “No! If you answer the phone, he’ll kill you.” You scream at him in fear as you try to get the phone back.

           “He can try.” He says in a smug grin on his face.

           He then answers the phone and steps out of the room. Sam then walks over to you, rests his hands on your biceps and drags you over to one of the beds. Lifting the covers of the bed so you can lay in it. You look up to him in concern. You didn’t want to take one of their beds. “It’s okay.” Sam says gingerly.

           You bend down to untie your shoelaces of your converse before you even touched a strand, Sam kneels down and unties them for you and takes them off one by one. He sets them down on floor next to the bed. You lay down and close your eyes, not before a couple tears fall from your eyes. Sam brings the covers up before turning off the light next to the bed. He walks outside to Dean, leaving the door a little open.

~~~~~DEAN POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           “I’ll find you, you son of a bitch and when I do. You are the one in a world of hurt.”

I hang up the phone before looking at Sam, “Let’s find this son of a bitch and show him what happens when a man hurts a woman.”

“Are we just going to leave her in there?”

I look through the window and saw that she was sleeping in my bed. “She’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

I go back to the door and close it quietly. I walk back to baby and start her up and heads towards that low life son of a bitch.

~~~~~NORMAL POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           As you opened your eyes, it was night time. You shot up from bed then looked over to the table and saw the brothers sitting there, drinking beers. Then you notice Dean’s knuckles were red, as if he punched through something. As you thought about it, you realized that he must have gone to George. You stand up quickly, but got light headed and was about to fall over. As you fell, a pair of strong hands lift you up and sits you on the other bed. “You okay?” Dean asks you as he looks into your eyes.

           You nod as you look down to his hands, “Did he suffer?” You whisper to him.

           He does a small nod before you suddenly hug him and starts crying again, but in happiness that he was finally gone. “No more tears sweetheart. No more.” He rubs your back as you try to calm down. “You’re safe. He won’t hurt you anymore.”

           He leans back and looks at you once more, “You are going to come with me and my brother. We will keep you safe. Once we get this wendigo, we will get out of here and head to our place. Okay?”

           “Okay. I trust you.”