#Spencer: Mom Will is great! Diana: but he’s not you

[only-one-brain-cell]

Spencer when he tells his mom about this: and then she told me she has always loved me.

Diana: I KNEW IT! Did you kiss her?????

Spencer: mom! We were being held hostage!

Diana: what about at the wedding???

Spencer: I told her everything’s ok, we’re just moving past it.

Diana: GOD DAMN IT!

[wheelsupimagine]

Meant to be -Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x FemReader

Word count: 3.2k words

Warnings: mentions of s3 e16 and s4 e24, angst and fluff

Summary: A case reminded Spencer of his past and you the only friend he had in high school, what if one day you two meet again in DC.

Being a resident genius had its favors, the team bets everything on him and he could always retrieve this but this case was different, it was difficult it got personal.

His edict memory is a blessing but not when a case like this reminded him of his past - Alexa Lisbon.

Then he wished he could forget everything for once in his life, but he will always remember.

When Spencer stepped out of the plane, he felt like he could breathe again, but his mind still raced - this case was an emotional roller coaster for him and the best way for Spencer to calm down was to go to his favorite bookstore.

The moment Spencer stepped into the bookstore he felt relieved, the familiar smell of old books and fresh coffee felt like home and no other person was in sight.

"Hey Spencer though case?!" Miranda the owner of the shop asked.

"Hey Miranda, yeah it was."

"Okay, your coffee will be ready in a bit, the bookstore is almost empty just one more person is here."

Spencer nodded but he was surprised that someone else would be here at this time still Spencer didn’t let himself bother knowing he would probably not even find this person.

Spencer left Miranda and made his way deeper into the bookstore. He was so invested in finding a new book, that he totally forgot about his coffee till he heard his name being called.

"Spencer Reid?" A stranger called his name

He turned his head and then he saw you.

Y/N Y/L/N.

What Spencer didn’t tell Derek was, who got him down from the goalpost back then - it was y/n, after that night you two spent more time together - Spencer could always come to you, and you two never talked about his problems and struggles because when he was with you it didn’t matter, once or twice he talked with you about his mom but mostly he just enjoyed your company and felt like a decent kid with a friend.

When he graduated high school, he never looked back but after 14 years you stand now in front of him right here in this bookstore in DC.

"Miranda asked me if I could bring you your coffee before it gets cold." You said and pointed at his coffee in your hand.

"My god Spencer, I can’t believe it’s you." You continued.

"Thank you y/n." Spencer took the coffee from you.

"It’s been a while, you look good by the way."

Spencer blushed, but he didn’t say anything back.

"Ähm yeah it was nice to see you again, I don’t want to bother much longer." As you attempted to leave, Spencer stopped you.

"Actually I could use some company if you like… Only if you want to obviously, I would understand if you don’t want to…" Spencer

rambled, but you stopped him.

"I would love to keep you company Spencer."

You two sat down and drank your coffee and talked. Spencer found out that you moved here two years ago because you got a job offer at the Walter Reed hospital and nothing held you in Las Vegas. Spencer talked to you about his job in the FBI, you asked him about Diana and it surprised him that you still knew her name, you two had a great time together until you caught Spencer off guard.

"Spencer, how are you really? You have very dark circles under your eyes."

"I…I haven’t slept really, it was this case that reminded me of something in the past." Spencer sighed and didn’t dare to look you in the eyes.

You knew where his mind went, you rubbed Spencer’s arm.

"But look at you now, these High school jerks and Alexa are definitely regretting this now." You looked at your clock.

"Hey Spencer it’s getting late, I have to wake up early and honestly you need some sleep too."

Spencer's mimic changed from happy to sad in one motion.

"Oh, I understand. Yeah yeah, you should leave you need your sleep." Spencer took his distance from you, thinking you wanted to leave because you already had enough of him.

"Spencer hey, if you want we can exchange phone numbers so we could meet again."

Spencer’s lips curved into a smile.

"Yeah, I would like that."You exchanged numbers and you both left the shop together.

Sadly you two had to split ways, Spencer insisted on walking you home but you promised him that it wouldn’t even take 10 minutes till you were home. Spencer started rambling about unsafety and what everything could happen in 10 minutes.

"Wow, now I might think I have to stay with you forever." You joked

but Spencer was stunned and it caused his cheeks to turn slightly pink.

"I just made a joke Dr. Reid, okay. Would you feel better if I wrote you when I made it home save in 10 minutes?" You asked him.

"This would make it slightly better. But.."

"But?" You asked confused.

"You lied," Spencer said.

"What?"

"You first said you would be home in less than 10 minutes now it’s exactly 10 minutes." Spencer smiled and you laughed.

"Come home safe Dr. Reid."You smiled and turned around making your way home.

When Spencer arrived home, he thought about going to bed immediately but you crossed his mind again and when he looked at his phone he saw that you hadn’t wrote him yet. So instead of getting in his pyjamas he sat on his couch and waited for your text.

After 10 minutes and 45 seconds, you texted him letting him know you made it home safe.

Spencer:You are too late.

Y/n:What?!

Spencer:You are exactly 45 seconds too late. Next time I call the FBI.

Y/n:haha. I am so sorry dr Reid, I changed into my pajamas first.

Y/n:You didn’t need to stay awake for me

Spencer:But I wanted to make sure that you save.

Y/n:Thank you Spencer but you also need to sleep.

Spencer:Good night Y/n sleep well.

Y/n:Sleep well genius.

Over the last few months, Spencer and you met at the bookstore when your jobs allowed it. Otherwise, you two stay connected through messages and phone calls. Even the team noticed a shift in Spencer’s mood and as the man Derek is he asks him about it.

"Hey, pretty boy, who’s got you on the phone like this?"

"What do you mean, I use my phone like I always do."

"No boy wonder, for someone who rarely uses his phone in his free time, you are really caught up in it now." Derek laughed.

"Is pretty boy in love?" Derek asked and wiggled with his brows.

"Derek please can you leave it, it’s nothing," Spencer answered and didn’t dare to look Derek in the eyes.

"Okay Spencer, I let it slide for now but just so you know I care about you and if there is someone in your life that makes you happy, I just want to know."

Paperwork days for Spencer were never a problem, he accepted it cause it needed to be done but now with you in his life, he loved paperwork because it meant he wasn’t away on a case and with you having the morning shift, it gave you two the chance to meet up after work and he enjoyed your time together, he feels like he can be like himself with you and he hasn’t laughed so much since he met you.

But your jobs didn't allow this too much, either you had the night shift or Spencer was out of town for a case and he hated this, he hated when you weren’t around, he hated it when you two were in the same city but didn’t get to see each other and even though he loves his job, he couldn’t wait to come home, to see you - he missed you.

Cases also mean for him that he barely has time to call you.

Currently, Spencer has been away for a week already, this case going longer than he thought it would take, Spencer lay on his motel bed and tried to find the breakthrough for the case but nothing came to his mind.

He put the papers aside and looked at the clock, it wasn’t too late in DC yet, and he was unsure if he should call you, it’s nothing you usually do so that Spencer could stay focused on the case but honestly, he needed to hear your voice tonight, so he tried to call you hoping you aren’t already asleep.

"Spencer? Is everything okay?" Your voice sounds raw.

"Hey, yeah everything is okay. Did I wake you up? I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to, it was a stupid idea to call you, you obviously slept, and your voice sounds raw. I should-."

"Spencer, breath, everything is fine. I didn’t sleep, I - I just rolled around, I was thinking about you."

Spencer was stunned by your confession, he stayed silent but his heart was beating very fast.

"So yeah, what’s on your mind, Spencer?" You asked breaking the silence.

"We don’t come forward with the case and I...I wanted to hear your voice." Spencer confessed.

"Sometimes it takes more time to find the perpetrator but the only thing that matters is that you will find him. I miss you but please stay safe there."

"I will y/n, I promise."

"Hey, Spencer."

"Yes, y/n."

"Why don’t we meet when you come back, we could order takeout and make a movie marathon at my place nothing fancy." You suggested.

"Yeah, yeah I would like that."

"Good, I will see you soon, good night Spencer."

"Good night y/n."

A few days later the team finally caught the unsub.

As the team flew back to Virginia, Spencer wrote you to let you know that he would land in the late afternoon and asked you if you two wanted to have the movie marathon tonight which you accepted.

Spencer didn’t even realize that he smiled like an idiot until Derek pulled him out of his thoughts.

"You pretty boy what got your smile like that?" Derek asked Spencer.

"Uh n-no-nothing," Spencer said but his cheeks turned 10 times darker every second.

"Sureee Spencer."

Spencer didn’t say anything.

"Hey Spencer," Derek said.

"Yeah."

"It’s good to see you like this," Derek replied. He left Spencer alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t wait to see you tonight.

Spencer arrived at your apartment complex 10 minutes too early, he first waited in his car, drumming his fingers on his bouncing leg, trying to calm himself down but he failed miserably, so he stood in front of your door 7 minutes and 43 seconds too early but it was okay, in that time he tried to get his breath under control.

But before Spencer got his breath under control, you already opened the door.

"Man, I thought you would never knock at my door." You greeted him.

"How-how did you know I stood in front of your door?" Spencer asked.

"I saw you parking your car 5 minutes ago, I waited for you.”

"Oh yeah I didn’t want to be late here but I also didn’t want to be too early, I didn’t know if you were ready yet," Spencer explained.

"It’s okay Spencer but next time just knock you could never be annoying to me, even if you're too early you can sit on my couch like right now."

"I will quickly make the popcorn, you can look for a movie we could watch." You suggested and Spencer sat down and looked for a good movie to watch that you also liked, when you returned with the popcorn and other snacks, you sat down next to him but not too close, Spencer still didn’t decide what to watch.

"I-I don’t know what to watch, movies that I like are mostly not the type from others," Spencer admitted.

"Okay mhm, what do you think of Star Trek?"

"What?!" Spencer was completely shocked.

"Ähm okay was that a bad request?"

"No, no it’s- it’s great actually, I love it, I didn’t think you would like these types of movies," Spencer admitted.

"I am full of surprises Spencer."

So you watched the Star Trek series and after some time you both fell asleep, no one knows who fell asleep first maybe it was you or him but for sure was that you both bumped your heads, after a phone went off - it was Spencer’s.

"I’m sorry, I’ve got a case, is your head okay?"

"Yeah, yeah is there enough time for coffee or do you have to leave immediately?"

"No, it looks really important I have to leave now, but at least the case is here."

"Okay, good luck, be safe."

"I will be." As Spencer was about to leave he turned around once more.

"Hey y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"I had a lot of fun last night."

"Me too, maybe we couldn’t do it again sometime?"

"I would love to, bye y/n."

"See you soon doctor, come home to me in one piece."

Just when the door felt shut, your phone started ringing, it was the hospital.

"Hey, y/n. Is it possible for you to fill in today, maya is sick."

"Yeah sure, I am on my way."

Spencer just visited Abby one of the remaining survivors, in the middle of their conversation Abby got aphasia, which scared Spencer, this stain kills people in a short amount of time and right now he couldn’t do anything.

Then he thought about you, and he had the urge to talk to you, even though he may get in trouble for this he needed to know you were okay.

"Spencer, is everything okay?" You said quite in panic.

"Yeah, yeah sure why wouldn’t it be… I.. I just wanted to hear your voice and I wanted to know if you are okay."

"Everything is okay, besides I have to work today."

"What !! I thought it was your free day?"

"Yeah, change in plans, one of my colleagues is sick and they asked me to fill in, but it’s fine, it’s a quiet day." You lied to Spencer, nothing was quiet on this day.

Hey, Spencer, it looks like I’ve got to go out there again. Look out for yourself and maybe if you’d like we could out soon.. like on a real date, maybe?"

"..I would like it, yeah, that would be great."

"Good, stay safe Spencer. Bye"

"Goodbye, Y/n. Take care of yourself. See you soon."

You both hung up with a smile and at least forgot the scary situation for a few seconds, before you got out again and took care of the anthrax-infected patients.

Spencer and Derek made their way to Nichols a possible suspect in the anthrax case. When they arrived Spencer had cut himself briefly on the thorn bush but it didn't stop him and continued to walk with Derek closer to the house.

Before Morgan and Reid entered Nichols's private lap, Derek got a phone call, Reid made his way into the lab and left Derek behind.

As Derek ended the call, he realized Spencer was not behind him. Derek ran towards the house calling for Reid and just when he arrived at the house, Spencer closed the door from the lab and told Derek he couldn’t get in there just then Derek saw the broken test tube with Anthrax in it.

Spencer was a step closer to death.

You took the mask from your face and took a deep breath and you finally broke down, you started crying, it was too much for you, seeing all those vulnerable people and you can’t do anything to help them, you can only try to make this stay as comfortable as possible.

You knew what this job meant, you can’t save everybody but this is not fair, how can a human being so heartless and let these people perish?

You took another deep breath and then you thought about Spencer, hopefully was okay, far away from this situation but deep down you knew he wasn’t, he is in the FBI of course he is involved but please let him be okay.

You needed to hear Spencer's voice, so you called him.

"Y/n…" Spencer began to cough.

"Spencer.. what's happening. You don’t sound okay."

"Everything is fine." Spencer coughed again.

"Spencer…no matter what is happening…"

"Y/n listen." Spencer cut you off.

"I love you Y/n… everything is gonna be okay but I've got to go now. Then Spencer hung up and you didn’t get to answer him.

You tried it a few more times but he didn’t pick and now it felt like your world broke down, you burst into tears knowing couldn’t do anything.

After Spencer and Dr. Kimura may have found the cure for this anthrax, Spencer finally gets to go out of the lab and go to the shower, but as Spencer untied his tie, Dr. Kimura sees the cut Spencer got from the bush and the situation just got more dangerous, hopefully, the cure was in the inhaler.

When Dr. Kimura came in with a newly infected anthrax patient your heart skipped a beat - it was Spencer.

He was in an awful state and for a moment you didn’t know if he would survive this.

The situation finally got under control with the confirmation from the lab that the cure was in the inhaler, the last survivors and Spencer were able to be cured and now it was a matter of time before Spencer woke up.

When you walked towards Spencer’s room, you saw a man sitting by Spencer and eating his jello that you put on his table, just then Spencer woke up and immediately asked if there would be more jello.

As you arrived at Spencer's room you couldn’t hold back anymore.

"Hey." You've said as if a stone fell from your heart.

"Hi." Said Spencer with a smile on his face.

You both wanted to say so much more but with this muscular man in the room who you didn’t know - there was an awkward silence there.

"Okay, I think it’s my time to leave. Have fun lover boy." The man said and left you too alone.

"You’ve scared me, Spencer." You sat down on the bed and took his hand in yours.

"I didn’t mean to do this and I am sorry for what I said, I would understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I mean with what I said I took this.." Spencer rambled.

"I love you too Spencer."

"WHAT?! Really?"

"Yes Spencer, of course I do, I've loved you since we first met back in Las Vegas."

Spencer cupped with both hands your face and you leaned in and then you two kissed for the first time.

"So you still want to go out with me?" You asked.

"Of course Y/n." You both hugged and Spencer's face was crooked in your neck.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"Before we go out on the date, can I have some of this jello?" Spencer asked shyly but you just started laughing.

"Of course, my love, you can have as much jello as you want."

Man - when I wrote this it felt from length okay but now I feel like it’s a little rushed maybe you could give me feedback if I should get more in detail with the story and the conversations.

I am still very new to writing and it feels super though to write Spencer so that he still has his character traits and doesn’t sound like a totally different Spencer.

[barelytolerabled]

A bond beyond romance

Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: When you meet Spencer's mother, Diana, in the hospital, you don’t expect to form a close friendship with her. As you spend time together, you visits Diana even when Spencer can't make it, and the two grow closer. You surprise Diana with a gifts, and Spencer discovers your special bond when he visits his mother and sees pictures of you together. Despite the circumstances, you treasure the relationship you form with Diana, and the story shows that love can come in many forms, not just romantic ones.

Warnings: none

WC: 1.729

You and Spencer had been dating for a few months now and things were going great. He had even introduced you to his mother, Diana, who he was very close to.

As you and Spencer walked into the hospital room, you saw a woman lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to various machines. Spencer walked over to her and took her hand in his.

"Mom, I want you to meet someone" he said, gesturing towards you. "Love, this is my mother, Diana."

"Hello, Diana," you said softly, walking over to her bed. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Diana smiled weakly at you. "It's nice to meet you too, dear," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for coming to visit me."

"It's no problem at all," you replied, taking a seat beside her bed. "I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. How are you doing?"

Diana shrugged. "Oh, you know. It's been a bit rough lately. But I'm in good hands here," she said, gesturing towards the medical equipment around her.

Spencer chimed in, "My girlfriend has been a great help to me during this difficult time. She's been so supportive and understanding."

Diana's eyes lit up at hearing this. "Well, you certainly have good taste in women, Spencer," she said with a smile.

Spencer chuckled. "I know, right?"

The three of you chatted for a while longer, getting to know each other and sharing stories. Despite the circumstances, you felt a sense of warmth and connection with Diana, and you could see where Spencer had inherited his kind heart and quick wit.

As it came time for you and Spencer to leave, you took Diana's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Take care, Diana. I'll come visit you again soon," you said, feeling a pang of sadness at leaving her.

Diana smiled back at you. "Thank you, dear. You're a lovely young woman, and I'm so glad that Spencer has you in his life."

As you walked out of the hospital room, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to meet Spencer's mother and to start forming a relationship with her, despite the difficult circumstances. You knew that you would do whatever it takes to support both Spencer and his mother in the days and weeks to come.

You had hit it off with her right away and enjoyed spending time with her whenever you could. What Spencer didn't know was that you had been coming to visit his mother at the hospital even when he couldn't make it due to work.

A few weeks had passed since your last visit to the hospital to see Spencer's mother, and you had been feeling a bit guilty for not being able to make it as often as you would have liked. So, one afternoon, you decided to surprise her with another visit.

As you walked into her hospital room, you saw that Diana was sitting up in her bed, reading a book. When she heard the door open, she looked up and her face broke into a smile.

"Sweetie ! What a wonderful surprise," she exclaimed, setting down her book and motioning for you to come closer. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you. How are you feeling?" you asked, pulling up a chair next to her bed.

Diana shrugged. "Oh, you know. Same old, same old. But seeing you always brightens my day."

You smiled back at her. "I brought you something," you said, pulling out a small box from your bag. "It's nothing fancy, just a little something to show you how much I appreciate you."

Diana's eyes lit up as she opened the box to reveal a delicate silver necklace with a small pendant. "Oh, it's beautiful," she said, holding it up to admire it in the light.

"I'm glad you like it," you replied, feeling a sense of satisfaction at seeing her pleased with the gift.

As you chatted and caught up on each other's lives, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the bond you had formed with Spencer's mother.

Despite the circumstances, you felt like you had gained a friend in her, and you treasured the moments you spent together.

As it came time for you to leave, Diana held your hand and looked at you with a soft expression. "Thank you for coming to see me. It means more to me than you know."

"Of course, Diana. I'm happy to come and visit you anytime," you said, feeling a lump form in your throat.

As you left the hospital, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the special relationship you had formed with Spencer's mother, and you knew that no matter what the future held, you would always hold a special place in your heart for her.

One day, Spencer had a rare day off and decided to go visit his mother at the hospital.

As he walked into her room, he noticed something that caught his eye. There were pictures of you and his mother together, along with other items like books and a blanket that he had never seen before.

"Mom, what's all this?" Spencer asked, gesturing to the pictures and items.

Diana smiled at him. "Oh, those are just some things that my daughter in law brought for me. She comes to visit me often, you know? We've become quite close."

Spencer's heart swelled with pride and happiness at hearing this. He had always known how caring and thoughtful you were, but this just confirmed it. He felt lucky to have you in his life, and to know that you had formed a bond with the most important person in his life, his mother.

"Really?" Spencer asked, a smile spreading across his face. "That's wonderful."

Diana nodded, looking pleased. "Yes, she's a wonderful young woman. You're lucky to have her, Spencer."

Spencer had stopped by the hospital to visit his mother, after the previous conversation with her he tried to be more present, but before he entered her room, he overheard her chatting with someone. As he got closer, he realized that the voice belonged to you. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to interrupt, but then curiosity got the better of him and he listened in.

"...and when are you going to give me some grandchildren with Spencer?" Diana was teasing you, but Spencer could hear the hint of longing in her voice.

You chuckled. "I'm sure Spencer would love to give you some grandkids, but I think we're still working on that part."

Spencer felt his cheeks turn red at the mention of the two of you having kids. You had talked about your future before, but they were still figuring things out. He couldn't deny that the thought of starting a family with you was an exciting one, but he didn't want to rush things.

As he entered the room, both you and Diana turned to greet him. Spencer put on his best smile, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. He hugged his mother and then turned to you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," he said, gesturing to the flowers in your hands. "Those are for Mom?"

You nodded. "Just a little something to brighten up her day."

Diana smiled, taking the flowers from you. "Thank you, sweetheart. You always know how to put a smile on my face."

Spencer felt a twinge of guilt knowing that he hadn't been able to visit his mother as often as he would have liked. But seeing the way his mother looked at you made him realize that he didn't need to be there all the time. You had become an important part of his mother's life, and he was grateful for that.

As the three of you chatted and caught up, Spencer couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness knowing that his mother and his girlfriend had formed a close bond. And as he left the hospital that day, he knew that he had someone special by his side, someone who cared not just for him, but for the people he loved as well.

You and Spencer had just arrived home after a lovely afternoon with his mother, Diana. As you both settled in on the couch, Spencer turned to you with a mischievous grin on his face.

"You know that thing about grandchildren my mom said?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why not?"

You looked at him, surprised by his sudden change in topic. "What do you mean, why not?"

Spencer leaned in closer to you, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "I mean, why not have kids? You and me. Together."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Sure, you had talked about your future together before, but the idea of starting a family had never come up. You weren't sure if you were ready for that kind of commitment.

"Spencer, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of responsibility," you said honestly, feeling a sense of panic rising in your chest.

Spencer looked at you with understanding. "I know it's a big decision. But think about it, Y/N. We could have a family of our own, just like my mom always wanted. And I know we'd make great parents."

You thought about it for a moment, imagining what it would be like to have children with Spencer. It was a scary thought, but also a thrilling one.

"I'll think about it," you finally said, smiling at Spencer. "But let's take it one step at a time, okay?"

Spencer nodded, looking satisfied with your answer. "Okay. One step at a time."

As you cuddled up next to him on the couch, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the loving and supportive man beside you. And as for the idea of starting a family, well, maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea after all.

Spencer couldn't agree more with his mother. As he sat down beside his mother, he thought about how lucky he was to have you in his life. He knew that you and his mother would always have a special bond, just like the one he had with each of you. And that thought filled him with a sense of warmth and contentment that he knew would stay with him always.

[phantompoguefangirl]

GREEN LIGHT-SPENCER REID

'Love compels cruelty To those who do not understand love.'

'I learn a great deal by merely observing you, and letting you talk as long as you please, and taking note of what you do not say.'

'In my end is my beginning.'

T.S. Eliot

A/N: Based on the episodes Green Light and Red light and basically that whole section of Season 12. Fluff and ANGST. This is also on my wattpad SerpentBeauty1710 and will be on my AO3, MayaGillespieReid

**********************************

Y/N POV:

Nothing could have prepared me for any of this.

Not for the way my soul left my body when the words "Spencer is in jail in Mexico" came out of Emily's horrified mouth.

Not for the anxiety being stuck home waiting for answers when half the team went down to get him.

Not for the relief and yet underlying tornado of emotions when the beautiful, kind and innocent boy wonder, the love of my life, my sweet Spencer...walked into the BAU in handcuffs.

The frustration when my short legs and rapidly expanding belly wouldn't let me get to him faster. The pain when he couldn't hug me back, then the love and desperation I felt him return by nuzzling his face into my neck as best he could while his bound hands caressed my bump. The soft but urgent warmth of his lips as I reached up to kiss him. The brief touch of his forehead to mine and the whispered reassurances right before Emily led him back to the elevator.

The way I broke down sobbing when the judge denied bail.

And the agony of waiting, of knowing he was so close to home and not being able to hold him or keep him safe. And on top of that, the stress of not knowing if he would get out in time, if at all...

The team did their best to support me through it and took turns helping with Diana when they could, along with the caregiver Spencer and I had hired for her. We had decided to move into a house with a mother in law suite for Diana when Spencer brought her to live with us in DC. We'd agreed Diana would do better with her own space and it ended up being a really good thing we moved. The team helped me finish settling in. Garcia was all over decorating, Emily JJ  and Tara helped me organize everything, Derek and our new agent Luke handled any repairs and/or replacements that needed done and Rossi brought his delicious food regularly. Hotch had very recently gone into in witsec with Jack, but I knew he'd be here helping too if he could.

I smiled appreciatively at the thought of our friends as I struggled to roll out of bed and padded to the kitchen for breakfast. I was grabbing a croissant from the container when I felt a small pinch in my neck and everything went dark.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in what seemed to be a trunk. I was going to kick a tail light out or or scream or something but my hands and feet were tied up and there was duct tape over my mouth. It was cold, much more so probably due to the fact that I was only in a tank top and pajama shorts.

I didn't recognize my captors' voices but I tried to listen to the youngish girl and older man when they spoke. They mostly talked in low tones so it was difficult, but I heard them whisper Diana's name and something about the caregiver which caused my heart and stomach to constrict in terror. I wanted to scream at them to tell me where my mother in law was, but I knew it would probably do no good and I still had the tape on my mouth anyway.

What felt like days(but was probably only hours) passed and the only respite I had was when the man moved me to a different trunk and removed the tape before holding the phone to my ear. I recognized the phone number on the screen.

"Spencer?" I whimpered, shifting umcomfortably as the man held on to the ropes around me.

"Y/N, are you okay?!" He cried out desperately.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," I answered softly. "But Spencer, they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-"

The man shoved the tape back over my mouth and closed the trunk. I thought I heard Diana's scared voice right before he took the phone away, which was odd. I did hear a gunshot right outside a second later though, followed by a loud explosion, before the vehicle I was in roared to life and was suddenly in motion.

I tried to mentally document all of my surroundings, while simultaneously looking around for something to cut my bindings with, in order to keep myself from panicking. However, every so often the tightening feeling would return and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Spencer's soft voice in my mind reassured me and reminded me how amazing our team is, which helped to soothe me a little. That led me to distract myself with thoughts of my wonderful husband. Of every little thing about him that I was so in love with. Things like his ridiculously cute laugh, our shared fascination with books and learning, the way he loved so deeply with his entire heart, his gentle kindness, his relentless determination, etc. One of my favorite things was the expression on his face whenever he concentrated hard on anything or whenever he was deep in thought. The way his brow furrowed while he rested his chin on his folded hand, every so often running his thumb or knuckle across his bottom lip or sometimes against his chin. I'd never seen him do this so intensely until the day he figured out this special puzzle box I'd had made for him.

*FLASHBACK*

It took me a bit to think of a good way to tell him the news. I didn't want to just say the words or show him the test or something simple. I wanted it to be as special as he was to me. It was a conversation we'd had about Sherlock Holmes that finally gave me the idea. I created a little scavenger hunt for him, the last clue of which was a puzzle box for him to solve. He loved puzzles and riddles. The answer to open the box was a phrase that he would have to guess.

He figured out the clues to the hunt much faster than expected, but the puzzle box actually took him quite a while to figure out. He got so determined to crack it that he brought it to work, unbeknownst to me. I was shocked when I walked into the round table room(I'd stopped in the break room for some tea which we were sadly out of) and found him studying it, eyebrows furrowed very deeply, head on hand and thumb brushing against his lip while Garcia and Hotch were briefing us on a case. I tried not to stare at him, because let's be honest it was unbelievably hot when he looked like that, and silently hoped he would not crack the code till later. Of course I had no such luck. He was a genius after all.

"I'm pregnant? What? I'm not-" Spencer suddenly said out loud, causing us all to stop and look at him. He was silenced by the box unlocking as he finished turning the small knobs to the correct letters. He saw what was inside and his eyes grew to the size of bowling balls as he picked it up. His face snapped up to look at me and he jumped out of his seat at the same time. "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

Everyone gaped at us. I froze, having not even made it into a chair yet.

"I...um...yeah," I managed to get out after a moment.

Spencer's mouth dropped open and his eyes somehow softened while staying wide. His floppy brown curls made him look even more like a puppy as he reached for me and squeaked out the word "Really?"

My heart melted, every emotion flooding to the surface, as I stepped closer to him.

"Yeah really. We're gonna have a baby, Spence," I said softly, smiling tentatively.

A gasp escaped Spencer's lips as he pulled me into his arms and spun me around while everyone cheered. He set me down and kissed me passionately through happy tears before the team engulfed us in hugs.

"Congratulations, you two," Hotch said, revealing a rare, genuine smile.

"Tanta Felicità!" Rossi exclaimed in Italian as he kissed our cheeks.

"You guys! This is amazing!" JJ said, "You're gonna be great parents!"

Tara echoed this enthusiastically, affectionately wrapping her arms around us for a brief moment before backing up.

"Wow, I was totally kidding when I asked if you wanted little baby geniuses some day. I'm so glad I was right though. This is wonderful news!" Emily quipped, grinning.

"BABY GENIUS THERE IS GOING TO BE A BABY GENIUS OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD!" Penelope all but screeched as she embraced us tightly, continuing to ramble. "Auntie Penelope is gonna spoil the heck out of this little one just like I do with Henry and Michael! I hope it's a girl but as long as he or she is healthy that's all that really matters."

"Way to go, Pretty Boy. I didn't know you had it in you!" Morgan joked once Garcia was done, clapping Spencer on the shoulder as we all giggled. "But I couldn't be happier for you both."

"Thanks man," Spencer chuckled, as he looked down at the object in his hands and teared up some more.

"What is it?" Morgan asked. Nobody had seemed to notice the object before but now they all zeroed in on it.

"A onesie?" JJ asked.

"It says 'Daddy's little Genius'...Daddy... I'm gonna be a dad...," Spencer murmured, smiling in that adorable way he does when he's emotional.

A chorus of awwwws filled the room followed by them scruffing Spencer's hair or clapping him on the shoulders again. I also received more hugs and a couple kisses on the head from Morgan and Rossi.

Hotch let us celebrate for a second, and celebrated with us, before drawing our attention back to the case at hand. Of course, Penelope told us we were having a real celebration when we got back and would not take no for an answer. And that's exactly what we did.

I hadn't meant for everyone to find out like that, but it ended up being the happiest moment in my life so far.

The memory faded as the tightening intensified. It felt like a weight pressing on me, like I wasn't going to be able to relax until I knew that Diana was safe. If anything happened to her, I wasn't sure what the hell I would do. She'd been doing so much better and she'd been absolutely over the moon upon learning she was going to be a grandmother. She'd nearly screamed out joyfully when we told her the news. She'd insisted that Spencer and I take turns reading to the baby every day and when Spencer was away, she took his place, picking up wherever he left off while I rested. Diana was genuinely wonderful and I was not violent by nature but I would go absolutely feral on anyone who hurt her, even in my current condition.

I tried to keep distracting myself with thoughts of Spencer and eventually began to doze off.

SPENCER POV:

I realized who the girl was as soon as she left the visiting room with my mother. I contacted the team as soon as possible to let them know, unable to keep from panicking.

Convincing them to believe me and the wait for news was excruciating but that was nothing compared to what I felt when Emily visited to update me on everything.

As soon as she walked in the room, I could see that something was very wrong, aside from Lindsey taking my mom. I think subconsciously I already knew what it was when I first saw Lindsey, but I couldn't bear to let myself even consider it.

"We found your caregiver dead in a house just a few houses down from yours. Ballistics came back and turns out Lindsey used her father's gun. We don't know whether it was to prove a point or something else, but the reasons are unimportant." Emily began, urging me to sit. I politely refused and she continued, "The point is that you were right, Reid. You were right and I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry."

"She's a daddy's girl. She can't help but use his gun," I mused out loud, going over the memories of her case in my mind.

"Good. That's good. That helps," Emily said, but there was something about her voice that alerted me.

I sat there across the table, shaking at this point, but I made myself look at her. "There's something else you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Emily looked down, hesitating for a second before answering.

"It's Y/N," she finally said, holding back tears,"Lindsey took her too."

My heart stopped. I heard Emily shout my name but couldn't focus on her at all. I couldn't think. I couldn't even pull oxygen into my lungs.

This was not happening.

This could not be happening.

Not my wife... not our baby...

I felt a hand on my arm. I shoved it off of me.

"You have to find them, Emily. Promise me you'll find my mom and Y/N." I begged, desperately.

"I promise you, Reid. We will find them," Emily assured me. "Right now you just have to find a way to isolate yourself."

I stormed toward the door and had the guard take me back to my cell.

I ended up having to make it look like Shaw stabbed me with a shiv to get put in solitary confinement. I couldn't handle anything else happening and I had to least try and stay safe on the off chance I got to get out and search for my wife and mom. Not that I had any hope that I would get out at this point in time, but I trusted my team with everything and I knew they would not rest till they found my family.

Sometime later, I found myself being brought out of isolation without any warning and I was terrified that Shaw had conjured up his own way to get to me. The guard left me in a room alone and I tried to remain calm, bracing myself for what was to come.

I was not prepared for my best friend to walk through the door.

"We're taking you home," JJ choked out as her eyes watered.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I pulled her into a tight hug. After a minute, she led me out the door and took me back to the BAU.

The sense of ease at seeing my work family again, especially the radiant embodiment of sunshine that was Penelope Garcia, was brief. It was soon overshadowed by unbridled rage when we discovered that Cat Adams was the true mastermind behind all of this.

She had Lindsey frame me for murder.

She had me put in prison.

She risked my sobriety by drugging me.

She had Lindsey kidnap my family.

Now, she was demanding to speak to me by using them as leverage.

Of course she wanted to play a game just like we did before when I arrested her, using my watch as the timer. She was angry that I'd outsmarted her so she wanted to break me. I was not about to let her have even a sliver of satisfaction.

She almost succeeded, however, when she revealed she was pregnant with my child.

Almost.

Apparently she'd told Lindsey to pretend to be Y/N after she dosed me with drugs so she could collect a sample from me down in Mexico. I knew it should not be possible, but I had been drugged and my memories of that day were still very hazy so I couldn't be sure.

"That's right, Y/N's not the only one carrying a baby protegé," Cat said in almost a sing song voice as I rushed out of the room. "I was thinking, if it's a boy, Spencie Junior. Or if it's a girl, Y/N. You know, since she played a part in her own conception."

JJ was waiting outside with Cat's file, hesitantly holding it up. I barely heard the words she said as I read it, then threw it against the wall once I saw the confirmation of pregnancy.

"Sorry," I said gently, upon noticing I had scared JJ. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I just...just need a minute."

JJ just nodded in understanding.

Some time later, the team discovered that Cat was lying about the child being mine and we eventually got her to call her cohort for proof of life.

My heart swelled when I heard the love of my life's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah we're okay, I think," she answered softly. Dread filled me at her next words. "But Spencer they have Mom. I don't know where, she's not with me but-

She'd conferenced in the call for my mom too and their voices made me hopeful for a second before both calls were cut off with explosions.

I forced the metal table out of my way before shoving Cat against the wall by her throat.

"I'm gonna kill you," I hissed, enraged once more. "I'm gonna kill you."

I kept repeating that until JJ pried me off of Cat, reminding me over and over that she was pregnant.

I stormed out again with JJ hot on my heels. I didn't have time to break down before the team told us that there was a call in about an amber alert Emily put out for Lindsey. Two vehicles at the scene were blown up but the only victim inside was male.

I felt bad for the man who was killed, but this meant there was hope again.

JJ and I talked some things through and pieced together what Cat really wanted me to say. While I told Cat what she wanted to hear, the team discovered the prison guard who had actually been the one to impregnate Cat and found two properties he owned.

I won the game by telling Cat that I could have done several different things to get out of the situation with Shaw and his men but I chose the one that would cause the most pain. In the process, Lindsey overheard us on Emily's tablet which had been connected to the visiting room cameras, realizing Cat betrayed her and therefore giving up.

As I was heading out, Cat piped up again. "How are you going to be a father now that you've proven you enjoyed hurting those men in prison? I mean, because once you've crossed that line, you can never go back."

In a split second I was on my knees in front of her, yanking my watch off of her wrist.

"Watch me," I retorted before walking out.

The team found my mom first and they let me see her briefly, then they took her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. We went to a secondary location we'd discovered which was where they were holding Y/N. I wasn't technically supposed to go because I was not reinstated yet but I couldn't think clearly enough to obey that rule when my girl and my unborn child were in danger.

Luckily, JJ was a parent and knew me too well so she had my back. Rossi also understood and had a helicopter standing by. We managed to make it there in time for the team to breech the house and I rushed in along side them without thinking.

That's when my whole life changed.

Y/N P.O.V.

My captors brought me to a house and left me in a room on the floor. I was alone for awhile and attempted to move to relieve the tight cramping sensation, which had gotten so much worse. I tried to conceal my pain from the man who was walking around the house setting stuff up and attaching rectangle shaped objects to the walls.

I was horrified when I saw that they were C4 charges. The resulting panic ran concurrent with another very intense tightening sensation, followed by what felt like a toilet flushing inside me and then a few minutes later, warm liquid spilled out between my legs.

All at once, the realization hit. The pains I'd been feeling all day were contractions and the liquid was my water breaking.

I was in labor. I had been kidnapped, was about to be blown up and I was in fucking labor.

I wasn't even due for another few weeks so this shouldn't be happening yet. I mean, I knew from the books Spencer and I read that babies rarely came on their actual due dates, but I was still incredibly frightened.

I wept quietly. Three or four more excruciating contractions ripped through me much more quickly before I was distracted by the doors being busted open.

I almost didn't even notice Tara knocking out the unsub or the others disarming the bombs because all I could focus on was the beautiful face of my sweet Spencer as he rushed over to me.

He hijacked Luke's pocket knife from his belt, swiftly slicing through the ropes before wrapping his arms around me.

"Spence," I sobbed hysterically into his shoulder.

"I'm here, love. It's okay," he murmured into my hair, kissing the side of my head.

"How are you here?" I asked, almost unable to conceive that he was really in front of me.

"I'll explain later. Right now we have to get you out of here," He answered, reaching to help me up.

"Wait, is Mom-" I started to say, but he was way ahead of me.

"Mom is fine, Emily and Luke got her back." he responded, relief in his voice.

"Oh, thank God. I-oh!" I grimaced, grabbing my belly.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked, his face instantly distressed.

"The baby is coming," I managed to say through gritted teeth. "Like, right now."

"What?!"He nearly shouted. He located and motioned to the paramedics that had followed him in. "She's in labor. We need to get her to the hospital immediately!"

The EMTs rushed over to us.

"Ma'am how far apart are your contractions?" one of the paramedics asked as he opened his bag, applied a blood pressure cuff to my arm and took my vitals. Another EMT started setting up a stretcher for me.

I gripped my husband's bicep for dear life as I felt another contraction after a little bit. He winced in pain but he supported me through it.

"I don't know, but close enough to know we ain't making it to the hospital," I groaned, leaning against him once it passed.

"Damn it, you're right. That last one was 2 minutes and 48 seconds from the one you had when I got here. How are you in active labor so quickly? The books said the first child usually takes the longest and it could be hours if not days before the baby is born," Spencer rambled anxiously.

"Um, pretty sure I've been having contractions since they took us," I told him,"How long has it been since then?"

He gaped at me,"It's about 1:30am. It's been approximately 17 hours. God, I'm so sorry, Y/N. This is not how this was supposed to happen. It's 3 weeks early and you're under too much stress-"

"It's okay, Spence. We're okay," I reassured him, grabbing my belly as another pain shot through me. "Oohh nope we're not!"

Spencer looked so freaked out which was sort of scaring me.

The EMT seemed to notice and stopped what he was doing,"Hey, it's going to be okay, guys. Her vitals and everything look good and babies are delivered a few weeks premature all the time and are in perfect health. We'll take good care of you all, I promise."

It seemed to work. Spencer relaxed a little bit and switched into doctor mode, holding my hands.

"You're alright, just remember the birthing classes. Breathe with me like this, okay?" He instructed in a gentle voice, demonstrating what the lamaze teacher taught us. I did what he said as best as I could.

The team, who was still standing there awkwardly, left when Spencer and the paramedic started to remove my short bottoms and slid a large pad thing underneath me. JJ said they would meet us at the hospital since they needed to check on Diana anyway. At some point in the process Spencer slipped behind me, sitting with his legs on either side of me and his arms under mine, probably without thinking about it. We sat like this a lot in the classes and also at home because he'd read that sitting like this while carefully lifting my belly provided some much needed relief from it weighing down on me.

"Looks like you're fully dialated. It's time for you to push," the paramedic said, after he checked me. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"I need," I grunted, shifting back against Spencer, who as quick to assist,"I need to be up..."

"What?" the medic asked, confused.

"Statistically, it's much more beneficial and effective to give birth in an upright position such as squatting or kneeling on all fours," Spencer prattled off facts as he lifted me so I was sitting up against his chest. He kept his arms underneath mine and entwined our fingers so I could squeeze his hands whenever I needed to."In fact, up until the 1700's, women were even known to give birth standing up. It allows the pelvic bones to open up for the child to pass through more easily and gravity helps the process move faster."

The medic gave him the look everyone gives him when he spouts facts and I supressed a giggle.

"Are you a doctor?" he asked my husband, incredulously.

"I have 3 phD's so technically yes-oh owww,"Spencer's sentence was interrupted by me squeezing the life out of his hands as another one hit.

The medic gave him a 'wow' look and then focused on me again,"Okay, anyway I'm gonna have you push through this contraction. Are you ready?"

I nodded and inhaled deeply, pushing on his cue. He counted down and told me to stop. I exhaled harshly and rested for a second before I was told to do it again. We repeated this a few times, Spencer lovingly encouraging me through it. The medic also reassured me that I was doing great, even though I was exhausted and didn't feel like I was doing well.

Sooner than expected, a tiny wail filled the room, changing everything and stirring an indescribable feeling inside me.

"It's a girl!" The paramedic announced, cleaning her, wrapping her in the blue towel things they use and placing her in my arms.

"Oh my gosh" I gasped as I stroked her small head, in hysterical tears at this point. "Hello my little love...oh Spence, look at her..."

Spencer, gaping at her in awe, managed to speak, "H-hi princess, I'm your dad...wow you're so beautiful...you look just like your mommy."

He wasn't wrong. She had his round, hazel eyes, but most of her facial features and her hair color were the same as mine. I smiled warmly down at her through my tears.

I was going to throw back a smart remark but it was forgotten as more tightening and the need to push again overtook me. "Something else is coming out what the-?"

"It's probably the placenta needing to be delivered," Spencer said, without taking his eyes off of our daughter.

"I don't think so," The medic said, reaching his hands out as I instinctively pushed some more.

Just when I thought I could not exert myself anymore, whatever it was came out and the medic grinned, holding it up. "Does that look like a placenta to you, Doctor?"

Our eyes just about popped out of our heads at the sight of the tiny wriggling form.

Another baby??!!

"I-No but- that's impossible," Spencer stuttered, in shock. I mirrored his expression completely.

"You didn't know?" The medic looked confused as he grabbed another towel thing.

"No, the ultrasounds only showed one baby," I said, in disbelief.

"This is a surprise then!" the medic chuckled. "Well congratulations Mom and Dad, it's a boy!"

He placed the baby in my other arm and reminded Spencer, who was still completely astounded, to cut the umbilical cords.

"We have twins?" Spencer whispered increduously, staring at the two small bundles wiggling against my chest.

"We have twins," I repeated, gazing back and forth between my babies and my husband, dumbfounded, "I can't believe it."

The second baby looked exactly like his father. The same brown curls, the same nose, lips, eyes, everything. He was perfect. Both our children were. I'd never felt so much love and joy in my life and I could tell Spencer hadn't either.

"Hi, sweet boy, we were not expecting you, but we are so happy that you're here," I cooed at my son.

"Yes we are. We love you so much, little buddy," Spencer agreed, resting his head on my shoulder as he brushed the boy's cheek lightly with his thumb.

I turned my head to face him and he pressed his lips to mine, murmuring. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too," I murmured back, feeling the warm wetness on my cheeks return as I pressed my forehead to his.

"Congratulations, again. They're adorable," The medic said, warmly as he cleaned everything up.

"Thank you," We answered simultaneously, smiling widely.

When the EMT was done, Spencer moved out from behind me and took the babies so the medics could lift me onto the stretcher. They put a warm blanket over me and then Spencer handed me one of the babies, still wanting to hold one.

Once we got to the hospital, Spencer went with the nurses who took the babies to get checked out. I was taken by other nurses who set me up in a room and made sure I was okay. While he was gone I asked one of my nurses to bring Diana and our friends up to my room.

Diana was a little confused for a minute when she saw me, but luckily her son walked in with a rolling bassinet at just the right moment, parking it next to my bed.

"Spencer's here," I told her softly.

She looked up at him and after a second she rushed into his arms and he embraced her happily, crying.

"Hi, Mom," he murmured.

She pulled back and took his face into her hands. "Don't you ever leave me again."

"I won't," He told her, pulling her back in for a hug. "I love you."

She said it back and after a bit, he was the one to pull back.

"Mom, I have a surprise for you. For all of you, actually," He said, looking at our friends. He smiled as he handed me one baby and then picked up the other and turned to face the group.

Everyone gasped or looked at us wide eyed.

There was a chorus of attempted quiet reactions from the team while Diana moed closer to us, some recognition beginning to spark in her eyes. I could see Garcia using every ounce of her strength not to freak out and accidentally scare her.

"Am I a grandma?" She asked, tentativel.

"Yeah, you are," Spencer answered, warmly.

Diana looked back and forth between us, confused. "But I thought there was only one?"

Spencer chuckled, gesturing to the blue bundle in his arms. "Yeah, we thought so too, until this little guy showed up unannounced."

"He's shocking people just like his father already," She grinned, earning a light laugh from all of us. "Well, do they have names yet?"

"Well, we have a girl name since we knew we were having a daughter, but we are still trying to figure out a boy name since he was a surprise," I answered.

"What's the girl's name?" she asked, sitting on the bed next to me. Spencer sat on my other side.

"Say hello to Amelia Diana Reid," We told her happily as I shifted the pink blanket away from our daughter's face so she could see better.

She gasped again and looked back and forth between Spencer and I in shock once more before smiling and gently hugging us. Awwww's filled the room at the scene.

"The middle name obviously needs no explanation, but the meaning behind the first name is something we want to share. Neither of us had good fathers and I don't have a good mother. So Amelia is the closest thing we could think of as a kind of combination of Aaron and Emily, our work mom and dad,"I explained, smiling adoringly at Emily.

She came over and embraced us carefully. "Thank you. I wish Hotch were here. I think you two are the only ones beside Jack that can get him to smile, and this would definitely turn that stoic frown upside down."

We giggled and so did several of our team members.

I helped Diana hold Amelia for a little bit, and then our son in turn until she started to be less lucid and wanted to rest. Emily had arranged for her to sleep and be cared for in a room close by ours so she could be near us. JJ took her to that room with a nurse and the others left our room for a little while so I could feed the twins. We were burping and changing them when everyone came back.

As soon as she was able to, Penelope pretty much exploded, accidentally interrupting Spencer as he was trying to tell me something. "Oh my gosh TWINS? Two baby geniuses for the price of one! This is the best news ever and I am going to buy tons of stuff for baby boy since you're gonna need double the baby supplies and you only have girl stuff right now and I am going to love them and hug them and be there for them and teach them lots of cool things and-"

"Garcia, breathe," Rossi said, patting her on the back as we all giggled. He turned to us, "Congratulations, both of you."

"Oh they're so precious, guys!"JJ cooed, coming over for a closer look. She was very careful as she hugged us,"You know, anything you need, I'm here for you. Okay?"

"Yeah same, we got you," Luke agreed.

"Well done, Dr. and Mrs, Reid," Tara said in admiration.

"Thanks everyone," we responded happily.

"You did good, mama. The babies are beautiful," Morgan said, leaning down and kissing me on the head as he touched Amelia's hand with his pinky finger. He smiled over at Spencer, "You too, kid. Gideon would be proud of you, you know."

The look on Spencer's face brought me to tears. I'd only been on the team a short time before Gideon left, but I did get to briefly experience the kind, caring, brilliant man he was, who loved Spencer like his own son and knew him better than he knew himself. He even knew the second Spencer and I met that we were falling for each other because he would pair us up a lot and whenever we were together or he caught us looking at one another, he got a look on his face like he was seeing something we were not. He later told Spencer this in his letter and told him to hold on to me and to not let the job get in the way of us. He said to find solace in each other and remind each other of the good things in the world when we were bogged down by all the bad things we saw at work.

This was what finally gave Spencer the courage to ask me out and thank God for that because I was going out of my mind over him by that point and I was so close to just giving up entirely.

Suffice it to say, that man meant the whole world to Spencer and by extention, to me as well. His loss had been beyond devastating for us and I had since been looking for a way to honor his memory....

I looked at my husband, "Hey love, what were you saying before Garcia's outburst?"

"Hmm?" He mumbled, having been pulled out of whatever thought process he was in, "Oh, I was saying I have an idea for our son's name..."

"Oh? What is it?" I asked, curiously.

"I noticed that the medic who delivered the twins had a nametag that said Elliot and I really liked it because it makes me think of the author T.S. Eliot, but also because it reminds me of my friend Elle who used to work with us and who I miss very much. So I was thinking we could name him Elliot, if you're okay with it, of course," He whispered, rambling a bit excitedly.

I knew who Elle was. He and some of the others had talked about her a lot and she seemed like a good person who had just been through a lot. She was like an older sister to Spencer and the name was really cute and meaningful so I was sold.

"I love it...and I have a suggestion for his middle name," I told him, eagerly.

"What?" he asked.

"Gideon," I whispered back, tentatively.

He stared at me for a second with his huge puppy eyes, looking like he was about to cry. He nodded fervently, his eyes moving to his tiny carbon copy sleeping in his arms. He'd barely taken his eyes off the twins since they'd been born and watching him become so  enamored by them made me fall even more in love with him.

"Hey guys, we came up with a name for our son," He said out loud, grabbing everyone's attention as he lifted one of the baby's hands, waving it. "I'd like you all to meet Elliot Gideon Reid."

Tara and Luke only partially connected the dots, since they only knew stories of Gideon and Morgan had just mentioned him.

The rest of the team, however, got both names immediately and there was not a dry eye amongst them. More hugs happened and then everyone took their turns holding the twins and talking with us for awhile until they saw us having trouble staying awake. They handed the babies back and quietly made their way out, one by one.

We put the twins in their bassinet and Spencer curled up next to me while we stared at them.

"Welcome to the world, Amelia and Elliot," we whispered. "We love you."

***********************************

EPILOGUE(Spencer POV):

I was reinstated to the FBI, after some substantial time off to be with my wife and new babies, with mandatory sabbaticals every so often. I did my best to balance work and home, actually electing to stay behind with Garcia sometimes so I could be close to home. A few years later, we had another set of twins, this time both showing up on the sonograms. They were a boy and girl again, and we named them Lilliana Jennifer Reid and Theodore Morgan Reid(Lilly and Theo for short).

Then, another year and a half later, we got pregnant with our last child, a complete surprise since we were told we could not have any more. We named her Davina Penelope Reid, Davina being the closest female name to David(for Rossi).

After that, we were done and our family was complete. Of course, the team adored them and spoiled them rotten. We also realized not long after Amelia and Elliot were born that my mom would be much better cared for in a facility, which was very difficult for me to come to terms with. Fortunately, we found an amazing facility nearby. She's actually thriving there and she loves her grandbabies so much. We bring them to visit her or bring her home sometimes. She often reads to them or teaches them about literature and history the way she taught me.

Life is good. And I am thankful for every day with my gorgeous wife, my five wonderful children, my awesome friends and of course, my mother.

***********************************************

[kellyvela]

Sophie's Hon 💋

If you want to know more about the guy Sophie Turner is smooching lately, you know, that very tall, very very rich, British aristocrat with a fantasy novel name, this post is for you . . . . lol

His full name is The Hon Peregrine John Dickinson Pearson, but he goes by “Perry.” And the photo above is his company profile picture.

Born on October 27th, 1994, he's 29 years old and the future 5th Viscount Cowdray.

Perry is from Midhurst, West Sussex, and now lives in a £5million house in Chelsea, West London.

The Hon before his name means The Honourable, a title used for all sons and daughters of viscounts and barons. Hon also works for 'honey' and 'sweetheart', hence this post's title.

Peregrine may come from Henry Winston Peregrine Spencer-Churchill, nephew of former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Sir Winston (Leonard Spencer) Churchill.

Yes, Churchill, you read it right! Perry's grandfather Weetman John Churchill Pearson, 3rd Viscount Cowdray, was the son of Agnes Beryl Spencer-Churchill, who was the granddaughter of George Spencer-Churchill, 6th Duke of Marlborough.

So Perry is distant related to Winston Churchill and Diana Spencer, The Lady D . . . . In fact, he has already introduced Sophie to some of the current Spencer-Churchills (they are cousins with Perry, I guess 🤷‍♀️).

Now, I have no idea why his parents opted to name him Peregrine over Weetman, since each of the four former Viscounts Cowdray were all named Weetman; but his peculiar fantasy novel/bird-like name inmmediately made me think of House Arryn and Harry Hardyng. More on this later.

But since he's not named Weetman, he fixed that by naming his own property investment and development company 'Weetman'.

John is for both grandfathers: Weetman John Churchill Pearson, 3rd Viscount Cowdray, and John Howard Cordle. 

Dickinson is for his great-great-grandfather: Weetman Dickinson Pearson, 1st Viscount Cowdray.

~~~

Family

The seat of the Pearson Family is Cowdray Estate, Cowdray Park, Midhurst, West Sussex. The picture of the family above was taken at Buck Hall, the atrium of Cowdray House.

The name Cowdray comes from Coudreye, the Norman word for the nearby hazel woods.

Perry is the son and heir of Michael Orlando Weetman Pearson, 4th Viscount Cowdray, and Marina Rose Cordle.

His dad produced the documentary "Sympathy for the Devil," directed and written by Jean-Luc Godard, documenting the creative evolution of the song "Sympathy for the Devil" as the Rolling Stones developed it during recording sessions at Olympic Studios in London.

His mom is an artist, sculptress, interior designer and mindfulness coach, she's keenly interested in spiritual matters, she practises Transcendental Meditation (a form of silent meditation) and Qigong.

His parents separated in August 2023, after 36 years of marriage.

Perry has three older sisters and a younger brother:

Eliza Anne Venetia Pearson (born 31 May 1988). She married her first husband at 21. Later he left her for the Kate Winslet . . . . She remarried, had children and lives in Ibiza now.

Emily Jane Marina Pearson (born 13 December 1989). Tatler Magazine included her as one of the 10 perfect potential brides for Prince Harry . . . . She she studied Plant-based Nutrition and is one of the founders of the vegan restaurant "Farmacy" in Notting Hill.

Catrina Sophie Lavinia Pearson (born 13 March 1991). She goes by "Catty." She's a musician and a film-school graduate.

Montague Orlando William Pearson (born 17 May 1997). He goes by "Monty". Wee brother is 6'4. He's a helicopter pilot, enjoys flying drones and studied film production and graphic design. He was named after the former owners of Cowdray Estate, the Viscounts of Montague.

Perry also has an older half brother:

Sebastian William Orlando Pearson (born 1970).

As you can see, Perry is privileged to be the heir above his older half brother Sebastian, since he was born out of wedlock, and above his older sisters: Eliza, Emily and Catrina, since they were born women . . . . Where have I heard this before???

Sometimes I'm glad I'm an only child . . . .

As any other younger brother of three older sisters, he was annoying. According to Tatler Magazine, Perry liked to wind up his sisters (then vegan) by scoffing meat.

Perry is also an uncle, his sisters Eliza and Emily are mothers of cute babies, but sadly I can't show you pictures. He looks cute holding a baby tho.

Talking about cute babies, that little curly blonde boy sat in a chair next to his standing father in one of the portraits in the picture above, is Perry. His portrait was painted by Chinese artist Chen Yanning, who also painted Queen Elizabeth II's portrait:

Here a few more childhood pics:

That picture of of him as a baby peeing on a plant, is his Instagram profile picture . . . .

~~~

Education

Business, Management, Marketing, and Related Support Services at the University of West London, UK.

Not Oxford or Cambridge? Shocking!

UX Desing at General Assembly in New York, NY, US.

Dear Perry, you can improve my user experience by making your instagram account public. That would do!

~~~

Occupation

In January 2015, it was reported by Tatler Magazine that he was working for Aylesford International Estate Agents in London.

He also worked as an assistant site manager for Cordles, a London based contractor company founded by his maternal uncle Rupert Cordle.

He started working at Cowdray Estate in West Sussex, his family estate and heirdom, since 2016 to this day.

He's also the founder, partner and director of Weetman Developments, his own property investment and development company in London, since 2019 to this day.

Perry is also a Le Chameau – the wellington boot brand – ambassador.

As you can see, Perry is basically a nepo baby lol

But that doesn't mean he doesn't work, Cowdray Estate is huge (16,500 acre), and offers a vast variety of activities like golf, clay-pigeon shooting, fly fishing on the river Rother, walking, cycling, riding, polo, truffle hunting, hospitality at the farm shop & café, holiday cottages, tree houses, wedding venues, private stays and events at Cowdray House, filming locations (the Cowdray Ruins were used during the filming of Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan’s film, "Mary Queen of Scots"), among others, and Perry is/will be in charge of all of that.

According to his mom, back in 2019 he was pioneering aquaponic farming on a commercial scale [The Telegraph - June, 2019].

In an interview for The Gentleman's Journal, Perry said that he's working to pass the estate on to his heir in better conditions: “But the dream is to pass it on to my son or daughter in better nick than it’s in now. That’s the mentality when it comes to estates,” “You’re so grateful that you’ve been given this opportunity, you want others to have the same opportunity that you had.”

I don't know if Perry will try to change the primogeniture rules, but it was really nice to read that he thinks his heir could be a son or a daughter.

Perry's family was always wealthy (construction and petroleum in the past, publishing nowadays); but not always aristocrats.

His great-great-grandfather, Weetman Dickinson Pearson, was made a Baronet of Paddockhurst in 1894, then he purchased Cowdray Estate in 1909. Later he was made Baron Cowdray first, in 1910, and then the 1st Viscount Cowdray in 1917.

Viscount, is a European title of nobility, ranking immediately below a count, or earl. It is one of the five ranks of British nobility and peerage, which, in descending order, are duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron.

So, when Perry becomes the 5th Viscount Cowdray, he won't be on top of the british nobility; but he will be richer. At present, Perry's family is thought to be worth £224million, and one day, he will inherit all of that.

~~~

Hobbies

Riding (Not Polo)

His family estate includes Cowdray Park Polo Club, dubbed The Home of British Polo, but Perry doesn't play Polo.

His parents never pushed him to, perhaps fearing that he could get hurt by falling from a horse. "Michael (Perry's father) never sought polo glory after a fall from a horse at the age of 13" [standard.co.uk - 2010].

In 2018 he said: “Cowdray is to polo what Goodwood is to racing and Glyndebourne to opera.” “I’m getting lessons.” “I grew up riding and over the next few years it’s something I can see myself doing a lot more” [The Telegraph - August, 2018].

Later, in an interview for The Gentleman's Journal, he joked by saying that "he’s not particularly good at it".

So far, I only saw him presenting Polo trophies and congratulating the champions, so I guess the lessons didn't work . . . . lol

Maybe is better that way, if he doesn't play polo he wont smell of horses. Sophie is asthmatic and allergic to horses.

Golf

He plays golf for some charity and corporate events. No idea if he's good at it.

Clay-pigeon shooting

Not sure if he really shoots at flying clay targets or he only modeled to promote the shooting school at his family estate.

Huntings

He likes to attend posh huntings wearing tweed, baker boy caps and suspenders.

He already took Sophie to one of those last December, but she didn't wear tweed, she defied the rules by wearing a Zara black jacket and a pair of acid washed jeans. . . . She would look great wearing tweed, tho . . . .

(There have been hunters in my family, so I can't judge much)

Here some pics:

Skiing

He seems very skilled at it.

Meribel in France seems to be his family favorite destination to enjoy the snow.

He already took Sophie to ski & “après ski” there, and they were having the time of their lives!

Going to the beach

Yeah!

Ibiza is a favorite destination for his family, his dad used to live there, and now his eldest sister established there with her own family.

Can't wait to see Sophie enjoying the sun in Ibiza next . . . .

Enjoy some pics:

Partying

Fuck yeah!

"Like all the Cowdrays, he loves a party" [Tatler Magazine, January 2015].

"(...) the Hon Peregrine Pearson (the Cowdray heir), known for throwing ‘wild afterparties’ at his house in Chelsea, which he shares with Ella (Richards)’s boyfriend, Sascha von Bismarck" [Tatler Magazine, March 2023]. 

Here abundant evidence:

Pottery

Perry enjoyed spending time in his mom's pottery studio in the garden: “We were brought up being quite creative – spending time in her studio was very bonding” [The Telegraph - August, 2018].

I would love to see one of those creative pieces made by Perry 👀

Meditation

Like his mom, Perry practises meditation as well. [The Telegraph - June, 2019].

From pictures, it seems he usually wears a silver Meditator pendant. The Meditator is a seated figure, with a pointed head, a heart and a hole in its middle. His mom designed it herself, as a reminder to live in the present moment, rather than fretting about the past or future.

~~~

Previous relationships

His only known/famous relationship was with Princess Maria Olympia of Greece and Denmark.

He dated Olympia for three years, since 2020 to 2023.

She seemed really into Perry during the relationship:

But shortly after their break up was official, she was reported being in a relationship with an older, married with children man . . . .

His wife kicked him out of the house after the news. Good for her! [Read more about it here]

~~~

So far, this is all I learnt about Sophie's Hon Perry Pearson. I love that he's so tall and the way he can hug her being so tall, I bet Sophie loves it too.

But I kinda hate that the press only uses his most unflattering pictures, when is easy to find public pictures where he actually looks good.

Also, my friend told me that he reminds her a bit of Paul Mescal, and now I can't unsee it . . . .

What more can I say about him after my research? Oh, maybe that he has met the Dalai Lama and sat next to Kim Kardashian and Kimora Lee Simmons at Paris Hilton's wedding lol

He also loves to wear sunglasses, even indoors . . . .

Anyways, now to the point of this post!

~~~

Romance with Sophie Turner

Perry is a Scorpio and Sophie is a Pisces, like Scorpio Ryan Gosling and Pisces Eva Mendes . . . .

I have no idea how they met, where they met, or when they met, but we have evidence that they spent the last part of October 2023 together.

2023 was a rough year for both of them, with her divorce and custody battle, and with his own break up with his ex, and the separation of his parents after 36 years of marriage.

The first time we saw him next to Sophie, we have no idea who he was. It was during the Rugby World Cup final on October 28th 2023, just before Sophie unveiled the trophy:

Perry was there with Sophie, but we had no idea they were together until October 31th 2023, when a couple of pictures of them sharing a kiss outside Paris’s Gare du Nord train station were made public and got viral:

The pictures were taken on the same day as the Rugby World Cup final. It was reported that they arrived together in Paris from London via the Eurostar, and said goodbye with a kiss before meeting again later at the Stade de France.

When their Paris kiss pictures were all over the press, someone claimed that their friend had seen them together the week before:

So, if the Rugby World Cup final was on October 28th 2023 and Perry's 29th birthday was the day before, I bet the lovebirds spent his birthday together in London.

I wonder what Sophie got Perry for his birthday??? An appointment with a fashion stylist, I hope!

(Perry, honey, burn those double breasted suits in your closet, please! They don't fit your large body 🙏 King Felipe II of Spain, has a similar body and his tailoring is👌)

I also believe they spent the last days of October together in Paris, since they were seen all cozy during a romantic dinner at some fancy Parisian restaurant:

After that Sophie was seen back in New York on November 3th 2023. We don't know if Perry travelled with her to New York, but some anon claims he saw them holding hands in West Village:

Back in London, they were seen making out in a famous spot on November 2023 . . . .

. . . . And having dinner with friends on early December 2023:

Later, we have graphic evidence of them spending time together from the 7th to the 10th of December 2023, at least.

December 7th 2023:

They went to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland at night, where they walked around, hugged and kissed:

December 8th 2023:

They had brunch in West London and walked around hand in hand, eventually stopping so Perry could gently caress Sophie's face and kiss her:

That day, this also happened . . . . 🤨

December 9th 2023:

They attended a posh hunting weekend at Blenheim Palace in Woodstock, Oxfordshire, held by some of the current Spencer-Churchills: George Spencer-Churchill and his wife Camilla Thorp, Marquess and Marchioness of Blandford (they will be Duke and Duchess of Marlborough one day).

The event was full of Perry's aristocrat friends like Alexander Spencer-Churchill, Lady Jemima Herbert, the Earl of Pembroke’s daughter, and Eleanor Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington’s niece, among others.

So, Perry has basically already introduced Sophie to some relative and close friends:

Can someone please explain to me why is Perry wearing a pink ribbon around his neck in the last picture? Is a mystery I need to resolve in this lifetime.

Here a few more pics:

After that, I suspect they spent the holidays together in London, or, at least, that they saw each other for a few hours during those days. I'm not saying she introduced him to her family and daughters, but it's obvious that they are dating and Christmas and the New Year are festivities you want to share with the people you care for.

I wonder what Perry got Sophie for Christmas? A handmade ceramic vase? A basket full of hydroponic vegetables that he grew himself?Diamonds?

And most recently, on January 17, 2024, they were seen walking around London at night all cozied up:

I want her UGGS!!!

Also, are those really mini liquor bottles at Perry's hand??? At first I thought they were Sophie's nail polish bottles 💅🏼

Someone spotted them skiing in Meribel, France. It was reported on January 28th, 2024, but it was probably before that date. Deuixmoi titled the stories as "let's see what your fave celebs have been up to the past week"

She's having the time of her life with Perry? GOOD FOR HER!

OK, today January 29th 2024, Sophie herself posted pics of them skiing in Meribel together with a couple of Perry's friends:

Lol at Perry not looking at the camera in the first pic 🤭

So, I suppose they are official now, right? Maybe it's time to post this post . . . .

~~~

Now, in the beginning of this post I said that after knowing Perry's fantasy novel/bird-like name, I immediately thought about ASOIAF's House Arryn and Harry Hardyng, you know, since House Arryn's sigil is a falcon, Harry Hardyng is dubbed the Young Falcon, and the peregrine is literally a species of falcon.

And since Harry Hardyng is the current Sansa's suitor in the ASOIAF incomplete series, I joked with my friends by saying that Sophie has entered his Harry Hardyng era . . . .

Perry also made me remember that passage in A Storm of Swords where Margaery's peregrine took a heron in full flight the day she and Sansa went hawking.

Peregrine is also the name of a ship that Arianne Martell boards in one of the few chapters of The Winds of Winter that GRRM released in advance.

Perry's name also reminds me of Pippin from The Lord of the Rings, since his full name is Peregrin Tuk, but this is a story for another day.

But if the Pearsons of Cowdray were a House from Westeros, they would be the Arryns enemies, since the Pearson's sigil is a gryphon:

And thanks to Sansa/Alayne we all know that the Winged Knight and the Griffin King were mortal enemies:

The Winged Knight was Ser Artys Arryn. Legend said that he had driven the First Men from the Vale and flown to the top of the Giant's Lance on a huge falcon to slay the Griffin King.  —A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

You know, in some ancient mythologies, the creature known as gryphon is depicted as fire-belching: "winged, tailed, and taloned dragon which spat fire." 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 Just saying . . . .

House Pearson motto is:

'Do it with thy might'

These words are carved on the stone fireplace in Buck Hall, the atrium at the heart of Cowdray House.

According to The Gentleman's Journal, Perry translates his family motto to simpler words: “Just do it — that might be a more modern approximation.”

But he's more into Adidas and North Star. Sorry Nike . . . . lol

Anyways, GRRM has the opportunity to do the funniest thing . . . .

~~~

And talking about GRRM, it's time to tell you that Perry's family are the founders and large share holders of Pearson plc, a British multinational publishing and education company headquartered in London.

Pearson plc owns Penguin Random House, you know, GRRM's publishers, the ones that publish the ASOIAF series . . . .

And I recently came to know that Penguin Random House is going to republish Joan Hannington’s autobiography “I Am What I Am” under the title ‘Joan.’ And, you know, Sophie's upcoming project is precisely a tv series called ‘Joan,’ with Sophie taking the role of Joan Hannington . . . .

Some will say that this is part of the j word agenda, lol

Again, GRRM has the opportunity to do the funniest thing . . . .

~~~

Finally, we need to answer an important question!

~~~

So . . . .

A match made in heaven? Or maybe we won't see his face again?

Only time will tell. I only hope that he makes Sophie super happy as long as they are together.

I will probably update this post with time or make a part 2, because Tumblr doesn't let me add more pictures 😢

Thanks for reading!

[aperrywilliams]

Green Card - Ch7: It’s for Our Own Good (Spencer Reid x Fem!OC)

Author Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Previous chapter < > Next chapter

——————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!OC (Ana María González)

Series summary: What reason leads two complete strangers to marry? For Spencer, the chance of his mom being admitted into a new medical trial. For Ana María González is to get the elusive green card.

Chapter summary: The tension between Spencer and Ana is stronger as the weeks pass, but they know nothing should happen if they don’t want to get hurt. But maybe it’s too late for that now.

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Strong words. Discussion about Diana’s illness. Spencer is slapped across the face almost twice. Mention of cheating. Conflicted Spencer. Drunk Spencer. Let me know if I forgot something.

A/N: I would slap Spencer across the face too.

——————

"So we were trapped in the elevator. It wasn't a surprise I was hyperventilating, but Morgan freaking out and calling Hotch? That was new. A moment later, the doors opened, and Hotch looked at us sternly. We tried to play cool, obviously failing," Spencer finished his story while Ana couldn't stop laughing. They were walking down the street with an ice cream each one. After breakfast in the new coffee bookstore Spencer found, they spent time looking for books, and now they were on a nice walk in the park near Spencer's building.

"Do you miss them?" Ana questioned after the laughter subsided. Spencer nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, I fully understand why they left, but yeah, I miss them," Spencer confessed before focusing again on his chocolate ice cream.

"I get it. You're all very close in your team from what I noticed," Ana commented, having some trouble with the vanilla-choco-chips ice cream dripping from the cone.

"We are. Well, I have known some of them for a long time, and we spend a lot of time together," Spencer added, chuckling when he saw Ana struggling with her treat. He fished a handkerchief from his pocket to help her. Ana blushed when she noticed Spencer reaching out with the fabric.

"Shit. I must look like a child learning to eat," she complained. Spencer chuckled.

"The important thing is you are enjoying it. What matters if there is an ice cream stain or two?" Ana chuckled, taking the handkerchief.

"Thank you," Ana could stop the dripping and prevent a disaster on her clothes. "And thanks for suggesting this walk too. It has been fun."

Spencer smiled, his heart proudly swelling at her admission.

Damn! Why did he feel like a teenager?

"Yeah. Sometimes I have good ideas," he teased, looking ahead and spotting a bench where they could sit.

They sat and focused on their respective treats while chatting about what type of candies they liked as children. At some point, they went silent, and Spencer noticed the pensive attitude in Ana.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Ana hummed, contemplating what to say next.

"I don't know if it is the best way to put it, but- how often have you felt that life gives you a break from the awful things, and well, you feel happy and optimistic even though the world seems to be on fire around you?"

Spencer tilted his head to look at her, thinking about her question. Funny, he had wondered about that more than once in the past.

"Not often enough, I guess," he conceded. Ana's eyes filled with empathy. Of course, a guy with a job like Spencer's sees the world in flames daily. It's tough. "But- you know? Moments like this one are a good way to remind me that those good days exist. Needless to say, I have had a good amount of those with you in the past months," he finished with a warm smile. Was that too daring? From the blush on Ana's face, Spencer thought maybe it was. But he wasn't lying.

"Come on; you're only telling me that because I'm your wife," she joked to lighten the mood. Spencer laughed.

"Well, you are. But I'm being serious when I tell you the great woman I think you are. And I think you deserve more of those days, too," Spencer confessed, earnestly looking at her.

"Thank you. And since we are in confession mode," Ana prefaced, chuckling. "I think you are an amazing person, Spencer. And I'm glad I met you. Really," she patted his knee appreciatively.

"I'm glad too," he continued. "And happy." The last part was a slip. It wasn't meant to be said at loud, but Spencer couldn't help it. As the words left his mouth, Ana locked eyes with him. What meant 'happy'?

At that moment, something in the air changed. It was like any thought disappeared. They kept staring at each other, feeling a strange force bringing them closer and closer. Spencer's eyes darted briefly to Ana's lips, but enough time for her to notice. Ana could have died there.

Did he want to kiss her? Did he want to do it as much as she wanted?

She thought she was imagining things when Spencer subtly started to lean in. Words left her in any capacity, and the only thing she could do was mimic him. They were halfway there, feeling their breath fanning their faces. When they were about to close their eyes to savor the prohibited fruit, Spencer's phone chimed. Both jumped back immediately. Seeing Spencer didn't react and the phone still rang, Ana prompted.

"Uh. May you want to answer that," she said, shifting back on the bench and breaking eye contact with Spencer. Still dazed, Spencer cleared his throat and fished his phone from his pant pocket. He saw who was calling, and his eyes widened.

Heaven and Hell conspiring: It was Maeve.

"Maeve, hey," he answered, still looking at Ana, who nervously glanced at him and quickly averted her gaze. Why did she feel like she had been caught doing something terrible? Maybe because she was about to kiss that woman's boyfriend.

It was a short call. And Spencer mostly uttered monosyllables. But from what Ana could deduce, Maeve was in town, and they agreed to meet in an hour.

Spencer cleared his throat. He didn't know what to say or if it was prudent to address what almost happened, so he played the oblivious card.

"I think we should come back to the apartment," he mumbled. It wasn't far from there, but Ana didn't want to prolong the awkwardness, so she decided to part ways.

"You can go. I want to buy some things at the store there if you don't mind," Ana said, pointing to the opposite park corner.

"Oh. I can go with you if you want," Spencer offered. Even if he felt the tension between them, he felt bad leaving her there alone.

"No. Please. You should go. Maeve must be waiting for you."

Why did those words sound so bitterly rolling off her tongue?

Spencer didn't push and nodded.

"Okay. See you later?"

"Sure."

But they did not see each other later. When Ana came back to the apartment, Spencer was gone, and he didn't return that night or the next day.

She didn't want to give it too much thought, but her stomach knotted, just thinking this woman didn't deserve a man like Spencer.

Why not? Even if Ana didn't know her, from everything Spencer had told her and seeing how their relationship worked, she concluded Maeve wasn't giving Spencer the worth he deserved. And that made Ana mad.

Sarah questioned her about it when Ana told her about what almost happened that day in the park.

"You don't know what ensues between them behind closed doors," Sarah reasoned, making Ana scoff while washing some dishes in the coffee shop kitchen.

"Oh, bet your ass that I know. She only calls when she's in town. And the poor guy must sprint to see her. He has never mentioned a date that was not a dinner or a drink in her hotel bar," Ana recounted.

"So you think they only fuck, and that's it?"

"I don't think they do much more than that, honestly," Ana confirmed, grabbing the remained dishes to wash.

"And that bothers you?" Sarah asked as she clutched the dishes from the rack to dry them with a towel.

"Of course! I mean, what kind of relationship is that?" Ana turned off the tap and took another towel to dry her hands.

"Maybe he likes it that way. What's wrong with it?"

"In principle, nothing. It's just I think he deserves more than that."

Sarah chuckled, shooking her head in amusement.

"What?"

"I'm trying to figure out if you are jealous only because she knows what it is to fuck the guy or you're jealous because you're falling hard for him."

"What?! No! Is non of that! I mean, he can do whatever he pleases," Ana hastened to declare defensively, earning a scoff from Sarah.

"Sure. Come on, Ana. Just admit you want the guy."

Ana rolled her eyes. She knew Sarah was right, though.

"What difference does it make? Nothing will ever happen between us. It's just a friendly business arrangement. I will get my green card, and everything will be over."

"Yeah, girl, keep telling yourself that," Sarah sneered, giving her a knowing look.

Ana indeed did that. She kept repeating to herself it was pointless to think something could happen between Spencer and her.

Not Spencer nor Ana mentioned that day in the park the next time they saw each other. And things stayed more or less the same, even though you could feel the tension between them.

Using all the tools he'd learned as a profiler, Spencer managed to mask his internal battle over his feelings about Ana pretty well. Was he supposed to do something about it?

As usual, Spencer just let things take their course without further intervention.

Maeve stayed in DC longer this time, so Spencer wasn't very present in his apartment: if he wasn't on a case, he was with Maeve. So he was slowly convincing himself that this was how his life should go. Thinking something else could change things was useless, so he tried to keep his distance from Ana.

That didn't stop his mind from wandering to her as he stared out the jet window or at the ceiling at night before sleeping. But as soon as he realized what he was doing, he forced himself to think of something else.

Spencer was doing that again when his phone went off, sitting at his desk in the BAU. It was Fogarty. Had something happened?

When Fogarty spoke on the other end of the line, he told him Diana was refusing to take the medication the treatment indicated. No one could reason with her, so it would be a good idea if he could come and talk to her.

Spencer rushed to the sanatorium to see his mom. Diana was sitting in one of the armchairs in the common room, looking at the patio through a large window. Spencer moved closer to her until he was in her line of sight.

"Mom," he called her attention. Diana looked up, and her look steeled. It wasn't a usual occurrence, so Spencer knew she was pissed off. "Mom, please, talk to me."

Without saying a word, Diana stood to come face to face with her son. Her gaze continued hard with a glimmer of betrayal. Without warning, she lifted her hand and slapped Spencer across the face, a slap that resounded throughout the room, earning curious looks from the people there.

Still with his head tilted to the side, Spencer began to rub the cheek that took the impact. Embarrassment and confusion filled his features. When he finally turned to face her, Diana's anger began to spill out through her words.

"You lied to me! You betrayed me! You never told me I would be a guinea pig in this awful place!" She yelled.

"Mom, please. Can we talk about this outside?" Spencer tried to convince her. They were making a scene for anyone to see.

"Why? You don't want people to know how a bad son are you? Someone capable of lying to his own mother?" Diana scoffed, folding her arms over her chest defensively.

"I didn't lie to you. I told you this place would give you a different treatment," Spencer clarified, although it seemed a poor excuse at this point.

"But you forgot to mention it was an 'experimental' one, didn't you?"

Spencer bit his cheek from the inside. Diana was right; that was the part he omitted from his explanation when they discussed moving from her old sanatorium.

"Would you have accepted if I had told you?" Spencer asked instead of keep defending himself.

"So you admit you didn't tell me. That's precisely lying, Spencer! I wouldn't mind if it were something else. But it's my life! You don't get to decide what I have to do with my own life. Did you hear me? Jeez! You're so selfish! You only think about what you want. Have you stopped to ask me what I want? This is my illness and my life. Not yours."

And with that, Diana stomped out of the room toward the gardens outside. Spencer called for her, but she didn't answer or turn to see him.

Spencer stood there, not knowing if it was a good idea to follow his mom and try to talk to her. She was already distraught. He settled with going to Fogarty's office and discussing what they could do from here. Was it against Diana's wishes? Yes. But Spencer only wanted to do the best for her. At least, it was what he convinced himself he was doing.

Fogarty was very understanding and told Spencer they could go easy with Diana for now. Still, she needed to agree to the treatment if they wanted this to work.

Diana barely looked at him when he went to say goodbye to her. Though his heart broke when Diana said nothing to him, he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Bye, mom. I'll come back soon, okay?"

Still no response.

After that, Spencer sighed and finally left the sanatorium.

He felt lost, baffled, and sad. Very very sad. On his way out, he got in a cab, and his first instinct was to fish his phone and dial Maeve's number. The phone rang and rang.

"Answer, please. I need you," Spencer muttered into the receiver. But Maeve never picked up. "Fuck!"

He texted her several messages telling her what happened, but as he arrived at his building, he yet didn't get a reply.

It wasn't even five in the afternoon when Ana heard the jingle of keys in the lock. She got there not long before and was scanning the fridge for things she could use for dinner.

Poking her head to look at the entrance, she saw Spencer, head down, peeling his jacket and hanging it on the rack.

Ana noticed the ring on his finger. Spencer wasn't coming from work or from seeing Maeve. He was at the sanatorium. And for the way he looked, things didn't go okay.

"What happened? Something is wrong with your mom?"

Spencer didn't say anything; although he heard Ana's question, he was still mulling over Diana's words. Ana's gaze followed him until he plopped on the couch, exhaling sharply.

"Am I selfish?" Spencer asked. Ana didn't know if it was a rhetorical question, so she said nothing waiting for him to continue.

"She says I'm selfish for forcing her to do something she doesn't want. Isn't she the selfish one for resisting the treatment that could help her?"

Spencer racked his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Everything I've done has been to get her a spot on Fogarty's medical trial!"

As Spencer ranted, Ana noticed a forming bruise on his left cheek. Things got pretty bad with Diana, she could guess. Spencer's gaze followed Ana's line of sight to his face and saw the worry in her eyes.

"It's okay. She was upset. I'll be okay," he dismissed.

"Can I at least bring some ice for you?" Ana offered. Spencer nodded.

After returning with an ice pack and handing it to him, Ana sat beside him. Spencer put pressure on his cheek to ease the sting he still felt. Maybe it was just psychosomatic: the pain of replaying in his mind when Diana slapped him.

"Why she was so pissed anyway? Fogarty told her something bad?"

"I should have anticipated this. I mean, my mom is a clever woman. She would find out this was an experimental treatment and not a conventional one," Spencer mused. Ana raised an eyebrow.

"Wait a minute. Your mom didn't know about the medical trial until now? What did you tell her?"

Spencer's cheeks turned pink at the question. Why did what he was doing sound so wrong coming from people's mouths?

"I - uh. I knew my mom would have said no if I had told her everything. And I didn't want to overwhelm her, and I wanted her to get the best treatment possible. So I thought- well. I thought it was better like that."

As the words left his lips, Spencer realized he had crossed a line he shouldn't have.

"I fucked up, didn't I?"

"Do you really want to know my opinion?" Ana cautioned. She knew Spencer was vulnerable right now, so she didn't want to overstep. Spencer nodded. "Well, think about how she's feeling right now. I mean, she realized why she was there, and you didn't ask her if she wanted to do it. I think the trust issues are understandable."

"I just want to help her to get better. I'm doing this for her," Spencer defended as he did in the sanatorium.

"I think you need to tell her that. Maybe she thinks you're selfish because you want to decide how you want her to be. Maybe she thinks you're not accepting her like she is, and she truly believes that things- well, things won't change no matter what you do."

Ana tried to be as gentle as possible. She knew it wasn't something Spencer wanted to hear. He had to clear his throat before speaking because of the lump formed there.

"So, do I need to give up? Do I need to accept I lost my mom forever?" He cracked. The thought hurt him beyond belief.

"Don't say that as if she wasn't here anymore. You still have time. Why don't you use that time to see her happy and be happy with her? In her terms?"

Spencer's head hung low, trying to mask the tears falling down his cheeks. Ana rested one hand on his knee in a comforting mode. "I know it's not me going through this now, but as someone who had lost her mom, I only can tell you I would have liked to spend much time with her more than fighting against the fact I was going to lose her sooner than later."

Spencer's eyes traveled up until meeting Ana's. She had hers glassy with unshed tears.

"I don't want to lose her. I can't. I can't even imagine my life without my mom," he confessed before bursting into tears. Ana scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him. Spencer hid his head in the crook of her neck and cried.

"I know. And I know you are doing everything you can to help your mom. Hell, you even married a stranger for her," Ana spoke, stroking Spencer's back soothingly. "You need to talk to her, though. Tell her how you're feeling so she can understand and tell you what she really wants."

Spencer thought about that. In the last few months, he had been so committed to getting Diana on Fogarty's program that he hadn't stopped to wonder if Diana would eventually agree. In Spencer's eyes, the most logical thing was trying everything to make his mom better. But was this path the one she wanted? Since Diana changed sanatorium, Spencer hadn't seen her very often, and he even stopped writing to her in the way he had been doing. He didn't know how she was feeling.

To cheer him up a bit, Ana prepared a dinner she knew Spencer would like. He thanked her endlessly as he emptied the plate. Spencer hadn't realized how hungry he was. Spencer's cell phone dinged when they were having coffee after dinner, announcing he had a message. Spencer took it out of his pocket to check it. It was a text from Maeve.

"I can't talk right now. I'll call you as soon as I can."

Spencer rolled his eyes and tucked the device in his pocket again. Ana frowned at the action.

"Something happened?" She probed, trying to decipher Spencer's expression.

"Nothing that could be worth that much," he bluntly replied, changing the subject. "You know, I'll talk to my mom. You're right. I've been only guessing what is the best for her, and maybe she's right. I've only been thinking about what's best for me."

And that was what he did. Spencer asked Emily for some days off to sort things with Diana. Without question, Emily granted him that.

Knowing how difficult it was for him to talk about his feelings, before going to visit her, he wrote her a long letter explaining his apprehensions and why he had not wanted to tell her about the experimental treatment. Spencer wrote to her about how sorry he was and wanted to apologize in person but asked her to read his entire letter first.

He made Fogarty hand her the letter and waited outside the room for Diana to read it. When he finally walked in to see her, Diana had tears in her eyes. She got up from her seat, and without a word, she hugged Spencer tight. Spencer let his tears run free as he clung to his mom.

"I don't like to be mad at you, honey. And I'm sorry for slapping you," Diana apologized as she stroked his hair.

"You don't have anything to apologize for. It's me who needs to apologize. I should have talked to you about this. Please, I need to know what you're feeling. I don't want to assume something that's not what you want."

They talked their hearts out that afternoon. They agreed to take the treatment slow. Spencer offered to call it off, but Diana opposed it. She wanted to try it but asked Spencer not to get his hopes up; she preferred to spend more time with him than walking from doctor to doctor to try new things.

A nurse brought them a teapot and two cups. Diana liked to drink some tea at these hours. Diana's eyes posed on the ring on his finger as she served his son a cup.

"And how is my daughter-in-law?" she asked amused. Spencer rolled his eyes. "I know; you told me about your job, and there was a 'thing' you both needed to do. But you know I'm not stupid, Spencer. I only hope you know what you are doing."

Spencer could have told her the truth, but it was already too much information, and Diana might feel bad about the real reason for his marriage to Ana.

"Yeah. I know it sounds weird, but everything is fine."

Is it, though?

Diana hummed, narrowing her eyes.

"What?" Spencer asked, knowing something was on the tip of her tongue.

"You like her." Spencer wanted to refute, but Diana stopped him. "And don't tell me it's not like that. Before I moved here, your letters only talked about that girl Maeve. You haven't mentioned her again in months."

"It doesn't mean that-"

Again, Diana cut him off.

"Maybe not, but I can feel something. Call it mother intuition or whatever, but I can see it in your eyes. And I will only tell you one thing: stop thinking about everything. Start feeling and acting on it. In matters of the heart, you need to follow what makes you happy even if it could not seem what it's supposed to happen."

Spencer was still amazed at how well his mom could read him. He wouldn't admit it, but in his internal debate, he knew he had to do something about his love status. On one side was Maeve and this increasingly one-sided relationship. Even so, Spencer still thought there was something salvageable after a year of dating. On the other hand, there was Ana, who, in a few months, had gained his heart and become someone significant to him. But that scared him. Spencer hated being abandoned, and knowing Ana would eventually leave his life made him step back. At least Maeve still sticks around. In a very unusual way, but she does.

Spencer decided to take a course of action similar to the one he took with his mom: talk to Marve and tell her what he was feeling and ask her what she wanted for real.

So one afternoon, when Maeve called him saying she was in DC, he asked her to meet the next day so they could talk.

Spencer waited for Maeve in the bar they used to go to. Time passed, and she still hadn't arrived. Spencer checked his phone and called her several times, leaving voicemails and texts. When Maeve finally called back, she apologized, saying she couldn't make it. She had an awful headache and couldn’t grab her phone until now. Spencer offered to check on her, but she dismissed him, telling him she only needed to rest.

The Spencer of a few weeks ago would have stuck with that explanation and gone home, but he was already tired of this coming and going, and he needed Maeve to understand how difficult it was for him to continue like this. That's why he left the bar and took a taxi toward her hotel. Spencer wasn't going to go home without talking to Maeve first.

Once he got there, he hesitated if it was a good idea. In his guts, he felt like he would regret pushing Maeve to talk to him. But before he could turn and leave, he was greeted by the hotel front desk man.

“Dr. Reid. Nice to see you. Are you here to see Dr. Donovan, right?”

“Hi, Oscar. Yes, I’m here to see Maeve.”

“Give me a second; I’ll announce you,” Oscar said, about to take the phone and call upstairs.

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I want to surprise her. You know, I got her a gift, and I would like it to be a surprise.” Spencer didn't know why he lied about it, but he didn't want to risk Maeve denying him entrance. Oscar seemed to buy the story. Smiling, he granted Spencer access to the elevators.

“Oh! Of course, you know where to find her.”

Spencer walked to the elevator and pushed the 7th-floor button. Once there, he walked through the corridor he knew so well. They stumbled there many times as Spencer passionately kissed Maeve doing the path to her room.

He stopped in front of room 706. Sighing, he was about to knock when he heard laughs from the inside. Spencer frowned. It wasn’t only Maeve’s. He could swear he heard a male voice as well.

Spencer knocked. And just a few seconds later, a half-naked muscular man opened the door.

“Yeah? You are not from the room service, are you?”

Spencer didn’t know what to say; he only stood there looking dumbfounded and trying to understand what was happening. “Mate? Are you okay?” The man asked, seeing Spencer going pale.

“Maeve is here?” Spencer asked, just above a whisper.

“Oh. Wait a minute,” the man turned and went inside. Spencer heard as he called. “Babe! Someone is here asking for you.”

Maeve quickly appeared at the door, a silk robe covering her frame. Her eyes widened when she saw Spencer standing there.

“Spencer. What - what are you doing here?”

“Now I’m asking myself the same,” he mumbled, eyes filling with tears. “I didn’t know your headache had such a muscular appearance.”

“Spencer. We can talk about this -” She tried to reach his arm, but Spencer stepped back.

“Don’t. I don't think there is something to talk about. I - uh. Well, now I get why you are so busy all the time. But don't worry; I won’t bother you again.”

Before Maeve could say anything, Spencer turned and walked down the hall toward the stairs. He didn't want to wait for the elevator. Maeve’s voice calling for him wasn’t enough to slow his pace.

Spencer felt so stupid. How did he not see it before? He’s a damn profiler, for fuck’s sake. Why did it hurt so much? Spencer already knew he wasn’t that important to her. Maybe it was a part of his heart that loved her and a part of his ego plummeting from that 7th-floor.

Ana got home after a draining shift that afternoon. Logan had been a pain in the ass all day, and the patrons got more demanding than ever. Collin was sick, and Ana had to cover her alone until Sarah came to help after lunch.

Spencer wasn't in the apartment, so she suspected he had a case or was with Maeve.

She had a quick meal and made a beeline to her bed. In her mind, one thing: sleep until next week. So it didn't take long until she dozed off.

When her phone went off, Ana didn't know if she had just fallen asleep or hours had passed. Without opening her eyes, she stretched out one arm to reach for the device on her nightstand.

"Hello?"

Sobbing was heard on the other end of the line. That alerted Ana and caused her to open her eyes and check the caller ID.

On the call: Spencer Reid.

"Spencer? Is that you?"

Another fit of sobbings filled Ana's ears. Sensing something was wrong, she sat on the bed, totally awake.

"I'm broke. Nobody loves me," Spencer hiccuped, slurring his voice into the receiver.

"Where are you?" Ana asked, but Spencer sounded too drunk to answer that.

"I - I don't know. A bar?"

Ana heard the noise behind Spencer's voice, and it might as well be a bar, but where?

"Are you alone? I need to know where you are," Ana demanded, trying to get Spencer's drunk attention.

"I shouldn't be. I was supposed to meet with Maeve," he said before sniffling again.

"Where is she?"

"Not here. She didn’t show up," Spencer slurred. "And now I know why. Did you know she was sleeping with a man who wasn’t me? What a bitch!” He high-pitched blurted.

‘Por la puta madre, lo único que me faltaba (Fuck! This is all I needed right now,)’ Ana thought, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Spencer. Listen to me. Don't move from there. I'm coming to get you, okay?"

Ana put on some clothes as fast as she could, grabbing her keys and purse. She took the first cab she found in the direction where she suspected Spencer was.

Her hunch proved true. When Ana entered the place, she looked directly at the bar. Spencer was sitting on a stool, head resting on the counter, looking at the glass of whiskey he nursed in one hand.

Gently she put a hand over his shoulder. Spencer turned to see her. His eyes filled with tears, and trying to sit straight, he only got to shove his arms around Ana's shoulders, hiding his face in the crook of her neck.

"You came," he slurred. It was like the best thing that had happened to him. It took Ana a moment to register she had Spencer clinging to her like dead weight.

"Yeah. I couldn't leave you alone right now," she confirmed, rubbing Spencer's back. "Come on, let's go home."

Ana had dealt with drunk people more than once in her life, but drunk Spencer Reid was something else entirely. In addition to trying to say goodbye to everyone who saw him go by on his way out of the bar, he didn't stop talking in the cab. Ana learned about the probabilities of risk of alcohol poisoning considering at least a dozen combinations Spencer assured to report. She also learned about the five most efficient car routes from the bar to his apartment and how synchronizing the traffic lights saved at least 5.2 minutes of commuting time.

But without a doubt, the worst part was trying to get him out of the taxi and up to the apartment. Spencer didn't want to use the elevator, and Ana had to help him up the stairs, keeping him from falling every time he stumbled on a step.

After such a procession, they reached their floor, and Ana immediately led him into the apartment and to his room. She managed to leave him sitting on the bed while she looked for clothes he could wear to sleep. As Ana fumbled into the drawers, she didn't notice Spencer looking at her.

"You're so beautiful," he garbled. Ana rolled her eyes, grabbing a pajama and turning to help him.

"Not with the flattery now, Spencer."

"You're gorgeous. How is it you can't see that?" His high-pitched voice was enough evidence of his inebriated state.

"Yeah, whatever," she mumbled, kneeling to help him to rid of his shoes.

"I mean it! You are the most beautiful girl I have met in my life."

What was that? The guy just got his heart broken, and he's trying to flirt right now? Ana was confused but mostly pissed off.

"We're not discussing this right now. Come on, put that on." She pointed to the pajama on the mattress, standing up and ready to leave him there.

"No! Don't go! Please. I'll shut up. But please, sit by my side for a while."

And there they were: those puppy eyes melting away any resolution Ana had.

"Spencer, you need to lay down and sleep," she used a more gentle voice this time, sitting by his side and rubbing his back.

“I don't want to sleep. I need a drink,” Spencer demanded with a pout. Circumstances aside, Ana found it cute.

“No, you don't. You had many tonight. Believe me, you’ll regret it in the morning.”

Spencer breathed a laugh.

“You know what I do regret? Wasting my time with her. I should have known, you know? She is not even half of the woman that you are.”

Why is he comparing Maeve with her? Ana didn't want to be in between this.

“You’re sad and pissed. I get it. But you need to think about this when you won’t be drunk, okay?”

Spencer scoffed, waving a hand in the air.

“Do you think I didn't before? Ana, I - I have been thinking about this plenty in the past months.”

Ana narrowed her eyes.

What did that suppose to mean?

Here is the thing. Spencer barely drinks, but when he does, any filter to his words is long forgotten, like now. He’s telling everything he has on his mind, even if it doesn't make sense.

To prove his point, Spencer continued talking.

"You don't believe me? Look at you! You're great. Beautiful, kind, funny, and so so so sexy. God, I want to kiss you right now. Hell, what am I saying? I have been thinking about kissing you for weeks!”

Ana couldn't believe what she was hearing. But she knew she couldn't give any credibility to that. There were just drunk words.

"Spencer, stop. You don't mean anything of that. You're way too drunk."

The man shook his head eagerly but had to stop because he dizzied himself.

"Maybe I’m too drunk. But did you know 85% of Americans think drunk people tell the truth, and it's not a myth? I personally believe it's very accurate.”

"Of course, you have statistics for that," Ana scoffed, averting her gaze to the floor.

"Ana, hey. Please, look at me,” Spencer requested, softly resting his palm on her cheek. When her eyes traveled up and found Spencer’s, her heart skipped a beat. Although the alcohol was running through his veins, his gaze was intense on her as he wanted to say the things his mouth still couldn't.

"Spencer-"

Ana was about to say anything to break the spell but couldn't think of anything but how good his touch felt on her cheek.

“I don't know why I have been dragging this until now. I don’t know why I cry for her when it’s you who I want.”

Ana didn't know when the distance between them shorted that way, but the booze in Spencer's mouth should have been a warning. Ana knew everything Spencer was saying wasn't true. His mind was confused, and he was vulnerable. She should have backed off. It was the right thing to do, but

Spencer's lips were so close now. He said he wanted to kiss her. And he was leaning to do that. Why deny the urge? Suppressing any warning, Ana closed her eyes as her lips met his.

Is this how it feels? Ana could swear she went to heaven and came back. Sure, it wasn't how she imagined this moment, but perfection wasn't given by the moment but by how she could feel her heart pounding while Spencer kissed her.

Even though their senses were somewhat clouded: Spencer's from the alcohol and Ana's from the astonishment of what was happening, their lips moved in unison in a long, sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, Ana inspected Spencer’s face and found a lovesick smile.

And so the anxiety returned to Ana. It was wrong. It felt so right, but it was wrong.

"Spencer. You need to sleep," she insisted. Spencer wouldn't stop smiling, but his eyes began to close on their own.

"I don’t want," he tried to fight as Ana helped him lie down. Without much resistance, she tucked him with the comforter before he fell into a deep sleep.

Once in her room, Ana let herself freak out.

What was it that had just happened?

Of course, she had imagined more than once Spencer might reciprocate her affections in some capacity, but she never thought she would hear it coming from his mouth in that way.

But as much as she was excited by what had just happened, she didn't want to give herself false hope. Ana has never believed in fairy tales, and this time was no different, even though her heart swelled at the memory of how Spencer's lips felt on hers.

Ana fell asleep thinking about the awkward conversation she would have with Spencer in the morning.

The following day brought a not-pleasant wake-up for Spencer. The light peeking through the curtains felt like stakes on his eyelids, and the headache became increasingly torturous as he gained consciousness.

The worst part was he barely knew how he ended up in his bed. Spencer noticed he had on the same clothes he wore the previous day, as a clean pajama sat at the foot of the bed.

He tried to assemble the puzzle from the night before, but it all came in flashes without much detail. The bar, the call to Ana, and from there, a couple of images going up the stairs and sitting on the bed.

Shame filled him when he realized the state in which Ana had seen him. An apology would not be enough for the hard time he had surely put her through.

He went straight to shower and then changed his clothes. Now with a white shirt and sweatpants, he padded to the kitchen and saw Ana eating a toast and drinking coffee.

"Hey," Spencer mumbled, embarrassed. Ana looked up to see him and could guess the heavy hangover he was experiencing.

"There." She pointed him to a glass of water and some Advil on the counter. Ana thought Spencer needed to feel a little bit better if they were to have this conversation.

The water and Avil were followed for a black coffee and a few toasts.

Silence took over the room. Ana didn't want to be the first to speak, and Spencer felt too ashamed of the sad spectacle of his drunk self. But he needed to apologize correctly, and for that, he had to know how much of a pain in the ass he was last night.

Clearing his throat, he called Ana’s attention.

"I am terrified and too mortified to ask, but I need to know to apologize for whatever stupidity I said or did. What happened last night?"

Shit. Was he wanted her to say it? Ana's mind started to spiral, but she needed to be cautious.

"What? You don't remember anything of what happened?"

Could it be that possible?

"I mean, yeah—a little. After seeing Maeve with another man, I left the hotel and went to the bar. I asked for a whisky first and then another one. I got drunk and called you. You showed up, and then everything is a blur. I remember the stairs and you helping me to sit in bed. I was talking, but I don't know much of what I said,” Spencer admitted, cheeks pink for the mortification.

Ana’s mouth was agape.

He doesn't remember. Unbelievable.

Or maybe he was playing ignorant. Ana didn't know. But whatever it was, it broke her heart. Last night, for a moment, she thought Spencer was being honest and that the kiss they shared had a real meaning for him. And now he doesn't remember anything.

What a stupid girl you are, Ana María González.

"Yeah. I went to pick you up, and I brought you home," she summed up. Spencer's eyes filled with regret.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"What? To get drunk or calling me?" Ana asked defensively. Spencer noticed and assumed she was pissed about her hard time caring for a drunk.

"Both?"

"It's okay; you needed a safe way to come back."

It was the real thing, Ana thought. Spencer needed help to get home. Everything that followed was a bad joke.

"Even so, I had no right to put that on you. I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble last night or make you too much uncomfortable. Although I'm sure you were already uncomfortable seeing me like this. I'm sorry."

Ana internally scoffed. 'Dude, do you really have no idea?'

"Stop apologizing, Spencer. I wanted to help. It's not a big deal,” she dismissed, suddenly finding deep interest in her empty mug.

"Did I tell you something else about what happened?"

Yes. More than you can imagine.

"Not much. Maeve and the man in her room, no more than that,” she lied.

"You were right. Maeve has been only using me. I should have ended it."

"But you love her," Ana concluded as her brain replayed his words: ‘I don’t know why I cry for her when it’s you who I want.’

"I - uh. I guess so."

Ana thought this conversation would take any direction but this one. What a waste of time. She felt terrible for nurturing the hope of something between them. Now it was clear it was an irrational hope.

She could understand him, though. Spencer was struggling with his relationship, and she was only his friend. She only needed to be understanding with him, nothing more and nothing less.

"You will figure it out. Give you some time, and you'll see things more clearly,” Ana advised, trying to sound as casual as possible. But inside, she only wanted to slap him across the face.

Fucking Spencer Reid.

——————

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine​ @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic​ @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @disaster-in-waiting @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

Diana Reid appreciation post time:

This woman is a GODDAMN BADASS and it is time she got her proper due! So this is a list of why she’s one of the best female recurring characters on the show!

First of all, she’s played by Jane Lynch, so obviously that’s a huge win in her favor.

But we’re here for facts about her so I digress.

She’s obviously brilliant, especially considering her choice of career.

But the thing is, she had that career at a time when women didn’t have as many rights as they do today, if you consider that Spencer was born in 1981 so Diana would have been teaching in the late seventies, which was around the time when women in the US were getting a lot more independent.

Being a woman and a college professor in a time when women were not in many high-powered professions is badass.

Also the fact that she chose to teach 15th century literature? Amazing.

There’s also the fact that she raised our favorite boy wonder while dealing with the effects of schizophrenia and made him into a great person.

But we knew that already.

She also had a loving and stable marriage with William up until the Riley Jenkins ordeal, which shouldn’t be discounted either.

There’s also the fact that she raised Spencer alone after he left. A single mom has it tough enough, but a single mom with mental illness raising a boy genius???

THIS IS AN OLYMPIC QUALIFYING FEAT.

And not only did she encourage his love of reading, she gave him the confidence to go away to college at Caltech.

She always put Spencer first, even when she was sick- even saying that she and Spencer could only trust one another during a psychotic break.

And even though he was the one who took care of her a lot of the time because she was sick, she took care of him in a lot of ways too.

No matter where he was in the world, she was the anchor point that held him steady.

The fact that Spencer became an FBI agent was likely a hell of a blow to somebody with paranoid schizophrenia, but she has accepted her son’s career and even helped on a case or two.

Not to mention she was the one he went to when JJ said she loved him, which makes her his comfort person.

Also can we talk about the honesty?

She never slandered William to Spencer, even when Spencer was investigating the Riley Jenkins case.

She went OFF HER MEDS in order to be able to help give Spencer the truth of why they weren’t together without her medication or disease clouding her.

She admitted that she waited for William for a long time after he left.

We love a vulnerable queen.

And not just that, but she was genuinely wise.

Her gut instinct saved Spencer’s life from Gary Michaels.

Her instincts in general are fantastic honestly. A mother does know.

She was accepting of her Alzheimer’s in a period of lucidity and gave Spencer excellent advice about life.

Also her first concern with her diagnosis was not remembering that she loved him, and my heart can’t take it.

Best mom 🥹

Diana Reid was the first character with Schizophrenia who felt real to me as someone living with the disease.

She was the first character to show that just because she had a mental illness didn’t mean she couldn’t be a good mother.

And also, her illness did not define her first to Spencer. She was always his mom first.

In conclusion: Diana Reid was a successful woman who suffered from an illness but still managed to be an incredible mom in spite of her disease, and is not celebrated enough in the fandom.

[godsfavdarling]

chapter 23

pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!oc

summary: Molly gets bad news about Spencer.

list of chapters, also available on wattpad and Ao3, my masterlist

warnings: just sad. prison arc!

words: 1,5k

Dear Spencer,

I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. There are so many things I want to share with you, and though I wish I could say them in person, I hope this letter will suffice for now.

First and foremost, I want you to know that Diana is doing great. She's in good health and spirits, and we've been spending a lot of time together. 

Cassie, the nurse, has been a wonderful companion, and we've grown quite close. It's been comforting to have your mom here, especially during the times when I miss you the most.

Work has been keeping me busy as usual. My students are a joy to teach, as always, and they never fail to put a smile on my face. 

Speaking of work, Sarah finally moved closer to her family as she's expecting a baby. It's been bittersweet saying goodbye to her, but I'm happy for her and her husband.

In my free time, I've been experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen. You'd be proud to know that I've been cooking up a storm, trying out different dishes and perfecting old favorites. I bring them to Diana as often as I can.

And there's exciting news on another front - Henry and I have been spending more time together, playing the piano. He's been making tremendous progress! We've even started tackling some more challenging pieces, and I must say, our duets are becoming quite impressive!

Do you remember that beautiful day we spent at the beach when we first started dating, the warmth of the sun on our skin and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore? It was one of those moments that felt like time stood still, and all that mattered was you and I.

I wish you could be here with me, holding my hand. But until then, please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you more than words can express, and I long for the day when we can be together again.

Sending all my love and warmest wishes,

Molly

.......................................

Even though Spencer refused to see Molly, she didn't give up on writing him letters every day. Each evening, she would sit down with pen and paper, pouring her heart out onto the page. She wrote about her day, the mundane details of work, and the small joys she found in everyday life.

She reminisced about their memories together, asking him if he remembered certain moments and trying to paint vivid descriptions of the days they shared or the holidays they celebrated. She knew Spencer could remember everything, but she hoped that reliving these memories through her words would bring him some comfort.

Despite the turmoil she faced, Molly made a conscious effort to keep her letters positive. Only the good things, omitting her own struggles—the nights spent crying and the sleepless hours plagued by nightmares.

Instead, she focused on the books she was reading, the movies she watched, and the weather outside her window. She wrote about Diana. Anything pleasant that surrounded her found its way onto those pages, her attempt to bring a ray of sunshine into Spencer's now dark world.

One day, Molly decided to include a photo with her letter. It was a simple snapshot taken by Spencer during one of their vacations. 

In the picture, she was smiling at the camera, sitting in a chair at an outdoor cafe. She wore a flowing white summer dress, her hair naturally curled and dancing in the wind. She hoped that the image would bring some warmth and comfort to Spencer, a reminder of happier times and their love.

Moreover, Molly made a point to call every day a team member who was on visit duty, asking for details about Spencer's well-being and what they talked about during their visit. What was he saying? Is he okay?

.................................

As JJ gingerly handed her the crayon drawing, Molly felt her heart swell with emotion. There they were, depicted in vibrant hues on the crisp white paper: Henry, with his infectious smile and wild imagination; Spencer, his gentle eyes filled with warmth and love; and herself, standing beside them, her hand intertwined with Spencer's as they stood beneath the shade of a towering oak tree.

Tears welled in Molly's eyes as she traced the lines of the drawing.

"It's beautiful," Molly murmured, her voice thick with emotion as she looked up at JJ, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Thank you for showing me this."

JJ smiled softly, her gaze filled with understanding. "He's quite the artist, isn't he?"

Molly nodded, a small smile gracing her lips as she wiped away a stray tear. "He really is."

...................................

Molly was sitting at the table, lost in thought. It was Saturday, and later she was going to spend some time with Diana. She sat with her cup of tea when she heard a knock at the door. Peering through the peephole, she saw Garcia.

"Hey," Molly greeted, opening the door and letting her in.

"Hi, honey," Garcia responded, her expression filled with worry.

"What happened?" Molly inquired, concerned as she let Garcia in.

Garcia let out a sigh as she sank onto the couch.

"Penelope... What happened?"

At that moment, tears welled up in Garcia's eyes, and her usually bubbly personality seemed to vanish.

"Didn't you go see Reid today?" Molly asked.

"Yeah, I did," Garcia replied, feeling a sense of unease creeping over her.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?" Molly pressed, her concern growing.

"Molly..." Garcia began, her voice wavering.

"Please just tell me. I feel like nobody is telling me anything. I just want to help," Molly pleaded, her anxiety mounting.

"He's hurt," Garcia finally revealed, her words heavy with sorrow.

"Hurt?" Molly repeated, her heart sinking.

"Yeah... pretty badly... He got beat up," Garcia confirmed, her voice filled with anguish.

Molly's stomach churned, and she dropped onto the couch, feeling overwhelmed by a rush of emotions.

"I already talked to Luke, because I was about to go to the warden's office. Spencer should be in protective custody..." Garcia explained.

"He's not in protective custody?" Molly interrupted, her voice filled with disbelief.

Molly's heart plummeted like a stone, the weight of the news settling heavily in her chest. It felt as though a physical blow had knocked the breath from her lungs, leaving her gasping for air amidst the suffocating sense of disbelief.

"No, he wasn't at least. Luke said he's going to take care of it and do something," Garcia reassured, her voice tinged with concern.

But Garcia's attempt at reassurance offered little comfort in the face of such dire news. Molly could see the worry etched in her friend's expression. The overwhelming sense of dread gripped her.

As Garcia reached out to embrace her, Molly felt like she was drowning in a sea of despair. The weight of the situation bore down on her, threatening to crush her beneath its unbearable burden.

Tears streamed down Molly's cheeks. Each tear that fell deepened her heartache, a raw pain gnawing at her insides.

Unable to find the words to express her anguish, Molly buried her face in her hands, her sobs muffled against her palms.

Garcia's attempt at comfort was met with a silent, desperate embrace. "I'm so sorry, Molly. But Spencer is strong. He's going to be okay," Garcia murmured softly.

Despite Garcia's words, Molly couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't just about whether Spencer would physically survive this ordeal—it was about the toll it would take on his spirit.

Even if Spencer emerged physically unscathed and regained his freedom, Molly knew deep down that he would never be the same. 

The scars left by this harrowing experience would penetrate his soul, forever altering the fabric of his being.

................................

In the ensuing weeks, the torrent of misfortune continued to pour down upon them.

It was weeks later when Molly learned from the team that one of Spencer's friends had been brutally murdered right in front of him. The news hit her like a sledgehammer to the chest, leaving her reeling with shock and disbelief.

She couldn't comprehend why they had kept this information from her for so long. It wasn't as if she could change what had happened; all she wanted was to be kept in the loop, to share in the burden of knowledge. Yet, even that small solace was denied to her.

As the days dragged on with no breakthroughs in the hunt for Scratch, Molly felt her hope dwindling with each passing moment. Every day seemed to bring new challenges and fresh heartache, leaving her feeling utterly powerless in the face of adversity. 

The weight of uncertainty bore down on her shoulders like a leaden mantle, threatening to crush her beneath its oppressive burden.

Amidst the chaos and turmoil, there was one silver lining: Diana. Despite the storm raging outside, she remained a beacon of light and stability in Molly's life. Their bond grew stronger with each passing day, and the moments they spent together brought a sense of peace and tranquility amidst the chaos.

Yet, even in the midst of their moments of respite, Molly couldn't shake the haunting image of Spencer's fear-stricken face from her mind. 

He rarely admitted when he was scared, preferring to bear the weight of his burdens alone. But to Molly, he had always been willing to show his vulnerabilities, to seek solace in her embrace. 

She knew how much he despised feeling helpless and dependent, and the thought of him enduring such torment tore at her heartstrings.

[mermaidsirennikita]

The Crown S5 review?

Eeeeh I'm still not sure where it ranks for me. For me, the seasons are probably--

Season 2

Season 1

Season 4

and then the last two spots belong to 3 and 5 but I'm not sure what order they're in. It's not a bad season of TV, but it's not up to par for The Crown and I'm not sure why, entirely. Because it had moments, but those moments were not consistent. Frankly, I think they pulled a lot of punches this season, where season 4 was nothing but punch after punch--and I don't get that. Like, why make a season as inflammatory as season 4 was, and then get scared after people react to that...?

Anyway, here are semi-organized thoughts

I Liked:

Elizabeth Debicki's Performance. Though I think Emma Corrin was a perfect 80s-era Diana, Elizabeth was perfectly cast for 90s era Diana. She had the accent down, the mannerisms (looking up from underneath her lashes, the head tilts, the wry smirks), Diana's snarky delivery and sorrow mixed with frustration and yes, vengefulness, along with the sense that she's kind of a good time girl who wants to have fun? One facet of Diana that people overlook is that she was a Sloane Ranger before she married; she married very young; and I found that a couple of the things the show pointed out about Diana (her codependence with her children despite her being a great mom, plus her desire to get out and be a bit messy in her 30s) are very common among women who get into bad marriages and have kids quite young. They experience the shit most of us do in our twenties like a decade later. I thought it was very authentic, and far, far, far better than whatever little girl lost routine Spencer had going on. Basically, the Emma to Elizabeth pipeline gives me Diana perfection.

The Fayeds. The Fayed episode was one of my favorites of the season? The acting was good, the pathos were great, I loved the way you could see Diana genuinely getting along with Mohamed. Plus, that episode had the flashback return of David, and that actor is just... great lol.

Diana and Hasnat Khan. Hasnat Khan is a figure that I think is really hard to fictionalize, but the actors had good chemistry and I really liked that soft little love arc. Even if lol it's gonna lead to one of my complaints.

Diana Being Petty. I'm so tired of victim complex Diana portrayals. Diana had fire and wit and she did go after the royals at points. By no means do I think she wanted the monarchy done for (she wanted the throne for William). But the individuals? Oh, she wanted them annihilated lol. Best scene of the season was her dialing no over and over.

What I Didn't Like:

So Much Miscasting. Look man, anyone who followed up Josh O'Connor giving like... an actual career-defining performance as Charles was gonna have a hard time. Dominic is not a bad actor. But he's not it for Charles, and he knew it. He and Elizabeth lacked chemistry, which took a lot of the tension out of their marriage story scene at the season's end--compare that to Josh and Emma's fight. Josh and Emma had chemistry. It made Charles and Diana's issues even more tragic.

Imelda was also miscast, OR maybe she could've done better with a better script, but like... It just wasn't working. She's a good actress, and the truth is that Liz has had less and less to do after her great personal crisis (her marital issues with Philip) settled in season 2. But like as the season went on I kept waiting for Imelda to inject more into the role, and it didn't happen? And again, I don't wanna blame her, because the writing was just--trying to give her something and giving her very little. But things like Dominic and Imelda both skipping the Windsor accent that everyone else nailed in previous seasons was just weird to me.

Jonathan Pryce I feel was less miscast, but again he had little to do that made sense or mattered; Lesley is a great actress but they gave her like, nothing? And Margaret had shit happening lmao. She had kids to raise, her health was failing (by the end of the season Margaret will be dead in less than 10 years). I get why they did a Peter Townsend retrospective episode, but it was weird to me that that was alll they did for her, and Margaret and Elizabeth's confrontation felt so hollow.

Wasted Time. The pacing and time allocation for this season was SO WEIRD. Look, let's be real fucking honest here. What people wanted from this season of The Crown was the War of the Waleses. They advertised that. It's what we were all looking forward to. And there was really? Relatively little of that. There could've been other family dramas to get into, but they obviously didn't want to (Andrew and Fergie, Anne's divorce). And I think PM knew the War of the Waleses was the big show, and he got scared and swerved at the last minute. It was.... a choice.

And the thing is? Not anything nearly as interesting was happening for anyone else all season. So we got like, Philip palling around with his ambiguous lady friend which caused marital issues that I don't think Philip and Liz had at that point lmao. And they just kinda settled on sorta being discontented in their marriage? Which was weird because elsewhere in the season he was very ride or die defensive of her, and frankly they've seemed comfortable since season 2's end.

We had a whole episode dedicated to THE PRINCE'S TRUST LOL. And like.... yeah, Tampongate, but Tampongate was mostly used to be like "oh look, middle-aged people in love", which has always been the royals' attempts to downplay that lol. And it's like... no it's still pretty weird and he was pretty married, y'all. Having PRINCESS ANNE be like "I think that was rather noble and cool" like lol??? ANNE????? It was just weird, man. And The Prince's Trust is cool for a one off subplot, but to be the backbone of a whole episode???

Then you had shit really rushed and shuffled about at points--the Hasnat Khan subplot just flickered away, the Fayeds were introduced in ep 3 and didn't come back until ep 10.

Toothlessness. Look, PM is not anti-monarchy at all lol. But last season, there was an element of like... scathing cynicism towards the family and the institution, and that by and large was missing here. Except for in some Diana scenes, the Fayeds' complicated relationship with British shit in general, etc. That was really pretty missing here. Charles is progressing it, Camilla is suddenly ready to step up lmao, they're just a family!!! And like.... Not just s4, but all of the previous seasons had a sense of doom about it all that just wasn't here. It felt like the abuses of the family were just sort of washed away.

Which leads to...

Inconsistent Characterization. Some of this may have come from the recasting, but I don't think so? There was an adjustment in s3, but this was different. Charles ended season 4 as this like, borderline monster who's got a terrible relationship with his parents and is really pretty spineless. Suddenly, with very little explanation, he has a spine and is like, actively maneuvering to get rid of his mom and REVOLUTIONIZE THE MONARCHY LOL. Listen man, I'm not saying Charles hasn't had some successful power plays, but uh... they happened pretty recently. His mom being at death's door is what gave him that opportunity. He wasn't there in the 90s. He did not have the capital and Philip was guard dogging her.

As mentioned before, suddenly Philip and Liz are on the rocks again to give them something to do... Anne is suddenly like Team Charles lol. Elizabeth lost a lot of her coolness, and we really like... we know it's a hard time but we don't really see her have that hard time.

And it's not just people who were recast at risk here--John Majors begins the season weirded out by these freaks and at the end is like IT WAS AN HONOR AND PRIVILEGE and I have no idea why lmao. Because he mediated the divorce? Why??? A waste of Jonny Lee Miller, tbh.

And then there was just shit I didn't totally get. Like the Romanov episode. How was that the most graphic Romanov execution I've ever seen? How was that meant to indict the Windsors but then whoops never mind?

So yeah, there were like... moments? But I walked away from it feeling like they came so close to hitting the target and veered at the last minute. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it and it did feel very different from the previous seasons. I never got that feeling that I was watching The Crown, a show where you get the "DUNNNUNNNNUNNUNUN" music over someone like, mournfully sipping tea and looking out a window, and you go "my god, this is CINEMA". They never earned that lol.

[toadsdrool]

i would love to share with you all a compilations of some of my first prince fanfictions from last years first prince week!

this hope is

a first prince soulmate au!

Alex's palms were sweating so bad he was pretty sure he could drown a small European nation. His suit was sticky with it. He was thankful for the dark color, it would hide the worst of it under his arms. Plus, he couldn’t get his hair to lay right, that morning. June and Nora kept telling him he looked fine, but that was all it was. He looked fine. His mother was the Democratic nominee for President of the United fucking States and her son looked fine. He didn't need to look anything else. He wasn’t the main event. He didn’t matter. But he was there, in Rio, at the Olympics, and it felt like the whole universe was watching him.

Fox

Alex and Henry watch a sad movie (picture Spencer but its Arthur instead of Diana) and snuggle about it.

Alex followed the tear tracks down his splotchy cheeks. “I know. I’m sorry.” “No, it was actually kind of nice. Bea’s right it’s a gentle retelling of a shite situation. It was good to see him how everyone else saw him.” Henry took a shuddering breath. “Some things were obviously fictitious, but I like to believe that’s how he felt. He would’ve loved you.”

asking you to stay

Alex and Henry are forced across the pond again and have to fall back into their old methods of being in each other's company (i.e. phone sex). Even though it's been years and they should be past this kind of juvenile back and forth, a love like theirs never ages, never really changes, it's written in the stars.

“Come back. Be here. Please.” He punctuated each phrase with a hard shift of his body slowly but surely pulling himself out of bed. He closed his laptop and gingerly set it on Henry’s empty nightstand. “I would love to. I genuinely am starting to believe they want me to deliver the bloody baby.” 

say it with your hands

Alex 'Dizzy' Claremont-Diaz's parents are both hockey legends, his mom runs the NWHL and his dad was the first overall draft pick in '98. Tragically, an injury that took him out shortly after he joined the NHL, leaving him coaching for the rest of his life. Altogether, Alex has way too much riding on winning the Stanley Cup. Only one thing stands in his way: Henry 'Ice Prince' Fox.

"In June's defense, you are half the height of most of the guys on the ice." Alex shoved him, lightly. "I am perfectly average, Your Majesty!" His face crumpled at the nickname. "I beg you to not." "Okay, baby," Alex said, kissing his temple in apology. "No ice names. No Dizzy, no Foxy. Just us. Let's get to bed, big game tomorrow, or so I hear."

just a little taste

Henry's not taking care of himself while he's away in England. Alex devises a plan to get him back in tip-top shape. Something to the tune of Henry devouring sushi off Alex.

"Okay, so you can tell me to fuck off." He sounded nervous, it made Henry giddy. "I doubt I would see the need." "No." Alex let out a breathy laugh. "I may have taken this too far." "Alex, what have you done?" "See for yourself."

Minutes to Midnight

Minutes to Midnight starring Henry Fox should have been the blockbuster of the century. Alex should have been calling up LGBT+ activists, setting up first looks, and scratching at doors to get a glance at a script. Under different circumstances, he would have. In the current ones, he just did his job. Until he gets drunk and starts to meddle on twitter.

"Great. Love a last minute rendezvous with nepo babies." Alex stretched in his seat, and jutted his chin towards the other chair, a wordless invite for Henry to join him. He nudged the tea towards him and offered his hand, remaining seated. "Alex Claremont-Diaz, charmed I'm sure.” "Yes, well, I certainly love taking time away from my busy schedule to meet with self-assured pricks who can't bother to fact-check themselves before they wreck themselves on Twitter." He took Alex's hand, firm hold verging on too tight squeeze, and shook it, once, before dropping it. "Henry Fox, pleasure."

[remedy-ships-it]

Hi Remedy!! for the ask game, how about 3, 5, 6, and 8 from the General category with Spencer? :Dc (also omg your blog theme is SO PRETTY)

EEE thank you so much caitie! love seeing all your ships and art, they're so cute :3

GENERAL:

3. What was their first kiss like?

I see Spencer waiting until at least after our first date to kiss me because he wants it to be perfect and he's a gentleman. I think it would happen while we're waiting for the bus home after the movie (since I mentioned in another ask that we'd see a foreign film as our first date). I feel like our first kiss might have been a little awkward on my end because, if you have seen the way this man kisses... paired with my general inexperience? He's awfully confident for someone who hasn't dated much. So, definitely a little bit of my hands awkwardly fumbling for a place to land and my glasses getting in the way, probably followed by me saying something stupid afterwards and then my legs promptly giving out. Okay that's a little dramatic but I would definitely be very overwhelmed, but it's okay because he finds it really cute. We can be awkward together. 🫶 (might write something for this at some point if I stop being lazy)

5. What's their height difference? Age difference?

Spencer is 6'1", whereas me-slash-my s/i is 5'4" so 9 inches. When we meet (season 3), he's 26 years old and my s/i is 24 so there's a two year difference (though it's apparently 1 year 10 months and 9 days if you want to get technical).

6. What's their relationship with each other's families?

I don't reeeaally ever think about this too much lore-wise. But I think Spencer would tell me about his mom and talks about me in the letters he sends her, but would be kind of on-the-fence about introducing us formally. But I like Diana and I'm hopeful that she'd like me too when we do eventually meet.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Probably me? Not in like an "I don't trust him" kind of way though. Just that he's more likely to get hit on than I am. But if he sees someone looking at me funny, he'll definitely put a hand on my waist and pull me closer, even when it might not be particularly appropriate, like during work.

-> remreid timeline here <-

seriously though. great heavens

[evis-gossip]

Let’s talk about Royal!Spencer Reid

(Buckle up, ‘cause this is about to be one hell of a ride)

*mood board for aesthetic (it does not reflex the appearance of the character)

Masterlist

So, I remembered this morning this post from 3 month ago, and I’ve decided it’s time i pull on my big girl pants and start doing something about it. Ever since then I’ve been having a lot of great ideas for this universe but never had the courage to write anything. And that’s why I’m here, looking for opinions and reassurance (mostly reassurance, I’m a validation seeker what can i say). Thing is i have no idea how I’d write this, in terms of language style or plot.

Here are some of my ideas so far.

At first i thought of making them all part of the same royal family, but i think it makes more sense if each of them has their own kingdom and all of them part of and alliance.

As the original post said, It’d be an arranged marriage, someone from a nearby kingdom. He’d be forced into it, but try to make the most of it. He also feels the need to make his mom proud more than anything, as much as the pressure of keeping the line going, for the sake of his kingdom, but mostly because his mother wishes it. He’d find himself so lucky when he saw you for the first time and felt instantly smitten by you. He’d be so grateful for loving you so easily even though everything was prearranged in the most calculating, cold way. He’d want nothing more than to make you happy.

As for Spencer’s family, his parents are the king and queen. His father didn’t completely left, his was just very absent, so nearly same thing. His mother still has health conditions, but she’d be important in this story. His father is so keen in getting him married, so Spencer can finally become king and he can leave for good. Sounds kinda cruel, but the way i see it, he’s leaving Diana more than anything, but also because he feels so small being Spencer’s father, so he leaves in a mix of jealousy and insecurity, made worse when taken into a count that those feelings are directed towards his own son

I don’t know in what era would I based this on, but I would completely ignore language from that time period and just write in modern English. Also, while I’m at it, I guess I could try to make not just fictional kingdoms but also a fictional time period.

I clearly don’t know nearly as much about science or statistics as Spencer, so I don’t know where the hell am I gonna get the facts from, and it’s not like I can use google for statistics about a fictional time and place. My best idea is getting the information about real countries in whenever I decide to inspire it, and then change it so it makes sense. Any suggestions y’all have about this would be gladly appreciated.

(I’ll be adding anything i can think of and if i start writing I’ll let you know) - edits will be in purple

As you can see i need a lot of help before i start writing any of it. So anything you can think of helps: ideas, thoughts, opinions, anything, please I’m desperate and begging.

[unmitigatedsuperiority]

Summary: As a storm draws near to the Virginia coast, you and Spencer share an intimate moment. Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Word count: 3.3k Category: Fluff Rating: T Warnings: None

read it on ao3 | series masterlist

[previous chapter]

MAY

“Tell me more about your home life,” you spoke out of the blue as Spencer lounged to your left. He lifted his head up off his crossed arms, stared up at you from the face-down position he had taken up.

“What do you want to know? We’ve discussed our cultural differences quite a bit already…”

“I want to hear about your family.” Spencer thinned his lips. You looked down. “I mean, you’ve mentioned your mom a few times, but…I’m sorry. Is this too personal? I just feel like I know so much about you, but I don’t even know anything about your family—"

“Diana.” Spencer’s stare bored into yours, soft and unyielding. “My mom’s name was Diana.”

You brought your cheek to rest against your hand. “What was she like?” Spencer smiled, bittersweet.

“She was a great mom when she could be. She had her issues. Nothing much we could do. But when she was there, when she was fully lucid, she was so wise. I could always go to her for advice. Somehow, she always knew just the right thing to say.”

“You miss her,” you noted. A statement, not a question. Spencer nodded.

“She would’ve liked you,” he said, biting his lip. You took a breath.

“Really?”

“Really,” he reaffirmed. The early morning sun felt especially hot all of a sudden. “Plus, even with all her reminders to not go above the surface, she would’ve loved answering all your questions. Her lectures about aquatic history are sort of legendary.”

“She sounds amazing,” you said.

“Is it weird…” Spencer paused. Sighed. “Is it weird that I wish you would’ve gotten to meet her? In another life perhaps? I know that’s highly impossible. In fact, even just the concept of another life stems from—”

“Spencer?”

“Hmm?” He looked up at you, brown eyes inquisitive. A little shy, but unguarded. He trusted you. Completely. It was a startling realization.

“It’s not weird at all,” you reassured him. He smiled, and you returned the gesture twofold.

LATE AUGUST—SIX DAYS BEFORE

“This just in: Local weather reports of a tropical storm heading straight for the coasts of Virginia Friday evening. Right now, it remains a tropical storm, but it does have the potential to become a hurricane. We are ABC7 News will keep you updated with the latest on this story as it progresses—”

“Damn, I was really hoping to go to the beach next weekend,” Tara grumbled as she flicked the channel off, balancing her bowl of cereal as she found just the right angle for the TV remote to work. You curled your fingers against the edge of the couch cushion, trying to ease your nerves. When you had woken up that morning, you could feel it. A shift in the air. Something to come. It was all you could do not to think about what Spencer would be doing, out at sea, unable to escape the storm. You steeled yourself in the present, focused on Tara’s dilemma instead.

“We literally live on the beach. You could go outside right now, and you’d basically be in the water. For what we pay to live here, you should really be taking advantage of it, anyways.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” Tara sighed, stabbing her cereal with her spoon. “I want to make an event out of it, you know? Embrace the big hat-thriller novel-sitting on the beach life.” You chuckled at her theatrics.

“Yeah. You could still do that,” you pointed out.

“It’s not as fun by myself.” Tara pouted. You placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You could always take me with you!” Tara shrugged off your hand and playfully glared at you. You backed off. “Alright, alright. We don’t need to see that much of each other. I get it.” You leaned back, resting your forearm against the edge of the sofa.

“Okay, but seriously,” she started around a mouthful of cocoa puffs (her guilty pleasure cereal), “we need to get prepped for this storm. Do you want to put all the outdoor furniture in the shed this week or shall I? One of us needs to do it, and the other can go to the store to stock up on food and stuff.”

“I’ll do it,” you grumbled. “You’re so strong and capable; only you could brave the grocery store madhouse that’s about to happen.” You grinned at Tara, clearly buttering her up for what would be the worse option.

She chuckled. “Thanks for phrasing that like it’ll be far more exciting than it actually is. That’s fine, though. I am better at hurricane prep than you, anyway.”

“I’d be upset at that comment but unfortunately it’s true,” you relented. Tara let out a triumphant Ha! She picked up the remote, dangled it in front of you.

“Your turn to pick something to watch. And if there is a single mermaid in it…” She shook her head, dramatically shuddered.

“I get it!” You yanked the remote out of her hand before nudging your shoulder against hers. She repeated the gesture. A nonverbal confirmation that everything was okay. You flicked on Netflix, mindlessly scrolling through the offerings. Not paying nearly as much attention as you should.

“He’s going to be fine, you know,” Tara spoke a few minutes into your unyielding scrolling. You turned to her.

“Spencer?” You questioned. She nodded. It did little to calm the angry, stormy sea raging behind in your chest. The bitter taste of drowning. “How do you know?”

Tara shrugged, circling her spoon around her quickly emptying breakfast. “I just do. Intuition, I guess.” You paused, considering.

“Wow, the woman of science is suddenly taking things on faith?” You replied, half-teasing, half-serious. Tara thinned her lips, a far-off look in her eyes. She took a swig of the chocolate-tinted milk at the bottom of her bowl.

“Maybe I’m a bit more open to things these days,” she replied before pushing herself off the couch and heading toward the kitchen. You settled back into your side of the couch, absorbing her words.

Ever since you and Spencer grew close, you’d had to come to terms with a lot of different things. Like the fact that mermaids existed. Cute mermaids with cow-brown eyes and a laugh like the song of the sea. But that rational part of you, the one Tara had always encouraged, had kept him at arm’s length. No sense diving headfirst into a capital-R Relationship with someone who would always be a fish out of water. A literal fish out of water. Even though you spent just as much time fantasizing about what could be.

Although, you never thought you’d see the day Tara started accepting anecdotal evidence as fact. The most seeing is believing person you have ever met was now supporting you in all your weird mermaid endeavors. She’d come a long way from the woman who tried to nicely—not in a condescending way, she’d argued—convince you that mermaids weren’t real. That maybe you were just seeing things. But now? You knew without a doubt that Spencer wasn’t a trick of the light or a figment of your imagination. He was real. As real as the ocean itself. As real as the morning sunlight felt on your skin every Sunday. And maybe Tara had it right. Maybe it was good to trust your intuition. After all, that is what led you to the rocks at the edge of the beach in the first place. And without that, none of this would be happening at all.

And that would be a damn shame.

“Why did you come all the way out here in the first place?” Spencer had asked you the following morning, curiosity in his gaze. He had laid across the rocks, tail shimmering in the early sunrise glow. Iridescent and mesmerizing. It took you a minute to form words after he emerged from the water. Something in the air felt different today. Maybe it was the storm. Maybe it was the realization of just how invested you are in this relationship—whatever kind of relationship it is.

“What, to Virginia or—”

“Here,” Spencer clarified, tail flopping against the solid rock with a thwap. The sound punctuated his question. You paused, collecting your thoughts.

“I guess…I feel most myself here,” you answered, “if that makes any sense. I just felt drawn to this part of the beach.” Spencer hummed, licking his lips before speaking.

“For whatever we lose—like a you or a me—”

“…It’s always ourselves we find in the sea,” you finished, surprised.

“E.E. Cummings,” Spencer added. Some warm breeze wrapped around the two of you, the sea salt scent thick and familiar. Your heart raced at the cloying sensation.

“Of course, you know E.E. Cummings. What don’t you know?” You teased half-heartedly. A particularly large wave crested and fell in the distance, the sound fading into the background as you watched Spencer. The slight twitch of his lips, softening of his gaze. He sighed, flicked his tail once. You watched droplets cascade out around the fin, glistening in the sunlight. Indescribable.

“There’s lot of things I don’t know, Y/N,” he spoke, pulling you out of your thoughts. His head turned down; his voice softened. “I find myself more troubled by it every week.” You looked at him in his sincerity. Really looked at him. Every perfect blue-green scale and curly piece of hair. Nervous hands and slender build. You could hardly believe that he was here with you sometimes. You cleared your throat.

“Yeah,” you replied, almost a whisper. You glanced down at your bare legs next to Spencer’s shimmering tail. The tang of saltwater crept into your mouth, not unpleasantly. “Me, too.”

Things had progressed so far over the last several months. You could look back on first meeting Spencer with a sense of nostalgia. That foreign shyness between the two of you bleeding into your interactions, lessening over time as each Sunday visit brought you closer. More familiar. Because what you had now was that—familiar. So familiar, you’d know him anywhere. You’d know him like the back of your hand. Like the sounds of the sea.

And yet, there was so much unspoken. So many things you couldn’t—and wouldn’t—know. Like if Spencer could feel the surface breeze whenever he thought of you.

“I’m going to assume you finished the last book I left on the rocks for you?” You asked, changing the subject.

“Of course! Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers. It was well-written, I’ll give it that.” He reached out to his opposite side, pulled out his water-logged copy.

“That’s going to fall apart,” you giggled.

“It just might,” he agreed. Spencer handed it to you, a wet thumpsounding out as he dropped it into your hands. You carefully pulled the pages apart, turning them gently so as not to disturb the fragile bindings of the book. Unfamiliar scrawled writing surrounded the text.

“You made your own annotations?” You questioned, surprised.

“Well, I loved seeing all your thoughts on paper and getting a closer look at what exactly you were thinking at certain parts. I figured it was only fair you get to experience the same,” Spencer explained. And there it was again. The riptide beneath your ribs.

“Is writing a big part of mermaid culture?” You asked.

“Oh, not at all,” he laughed. “That’s why my handwriting is terrible.” You joined in with him, unable to shake the feeling that something monumental was happening. Like Spencer was opening up to you in a way he never had before. In a way you always secretly hoped he would. It turned out that Romeo and Juliet was certainly the correct choice of book to share with him, if a little on the nose. At least it wasn’t The Little Mermaid.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” you said, in awe of all the notes marching along the pages.

“It’s just some thoughts I had, some comments. Circling the quotes I liked.”

“Like this one?” You pointed to one passage that had been circled a few times. He grinned, shifted closer to you to read over your shoulder. You felt the chill of the sea water dripping just past your shoulders. Goosebumps ran down your spine.

“’My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.’”

Spencer recited the words as if he’d said them a thousand times before. You couldn’t shake the sudden feeling that everything that’s happened over the last several months has led to this exact moment. Your chest constricted, your senses in a state of overwhelm. The riptide had turned into a tsunami, no turning back now. As he made eye contact with you, you felt the goosebumps spread down your arms. The two of you diving headfirst into this new dynamic, no safety net. His eyes searched your face. You held your breath.

“I can see why you circled that one,” you breathed. Spencer’s gaze softened, shifted, before he suddenly cleared his throat and looked away. The tsunami quieted.

“While not technically true, as the sea does in fact have ends—I’ve seen them myself—I do appreciate the sentiment. Love as deep as the sea. It’s something that’s always sought after, a theme in so many of the novels I’ve read. I only hope I could experience a fraction of it.”

You paused, studied him, a softness in your gaze. “You will,” you affirmed. Not a shred of doubt in your voice. Spencer stared at you, quizzically. He glanced down at your lips, and you swallowed a lump in your throat.

“How do you know?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Intuition,” you replied. Smiling. Maybe taking things on faith wasn’t such a bad thing these days.

Spencer smiled back just as wide, and the sun shone just a little brighter.

“Do you ever feel weird about this? Us? Seeing each other every week?” He asked. The surf crested against the rocks just beneath your feet. You watched as the tide pulled it back out, revealing the mussels hanging on below. 

“I mean, if you’d asked me several months ago, I never would’ve thought I’d end up here. But now…” You shrugged. “I don’t know. Everything feels so easy with you. Intuitive.”

“I feel the same way,” Spencer replied. The tide uncovered the sands once more. “Everyone always asks me where I go off to each week. I think they’d lose their minds if I told them.” He chuckled.

“Does anyone else know about me?” You asked. Spencer shook his head.

“I love them all, back home, but they wouldn’t understand. They’re afraid of even coming up for air. Which, I get it. There’s a huge stigma around humans. Stems from centuries ago when sailing was far more prevalent as a means of transport. But” He nudged your shoulder with his own. Static crackled in the air. “They’re not that bad.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied, cheeky. It could have just been the rising sun painting everything a rosy hue, but you swore you could see a hint of redness in Spencer’s cheeks.

A wave crested against the edge of the rock, saltwater spray misting your face. You waited, patient, before scooting closer to him. Testing the waters.

Sunlight danced off his scales, giving way to breathtaking rainbows of color. Just based on the intensity of the sun, you knew you’d have to get going soon, but you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away.

“You can touch them, you know.” You snapped your head up at that. He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke, like he was embarrassed to even be talking about the concept.

“I thought you didn’t like to be touched,” you softly countered. Spencer had made it very well known when the two of you had initially met that he was not big on human touch. Over the months, you’ve had some accidental touches here and there, even a few purposeful ones, but never of his tail. The tail was always off limits. You’d assumed it was a combination of a mermaid thing and some kind of quirk that was so uniquely Spencer.

“I don’t like to be touched by strange humans. I trust you.” He looked up into your eyes and you suddenly saw the sincerity in his gaze. He offered a soft smile that made your stomach flip. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly, but the fact that he trusted you meant everything.

You gave him a silent smile in return, let him read your face to see how much he meant to you, before you slowly reached out your hand. He gave you a small nod as if to say it’s okay, you can touch.

Gingerly, you let your fingers brush along the scales. Spencer let out a small gasp at the contact, nearly inaudible. You traced the edges with your hand, smoothing out until your whole palm was on the cool surface. It was still a little damp, with some kind of viscous sheen over the top of it. You didn’t mind, though. You never minded when it came to Spencer.

You felt his tail almost lean into the touch, as if he was trying to hold back from it but something primal within him just couldn’t resist. The moment was strangely intimate – him allowing you a closeness that so few ever get to experience. The ocean waves returned to your chest in full force.

Spencer watched you as you traced along the scales, every groove and dip being explored. You admired his patience as you quenched your curiosity. It was about so much more than that to you, though. And you couldn’t help but think he felt the same.

Seconds turned to minutes until the two of you had relaxed into what had become a natural, comforting position. Your hand brushing up and down his tail in a rhythmic motion. Soothing you both in the face of what was to come.

“There’s a storm coming,” you mentioned, trying not to let the anxiety creep into your voice. Spencer hummed in acknowledgement.

“I know. I can feel it. The anticipation. The water changes when things like this are about to happen.” You retracted your hand, the resulting emptiness of it feeling distractingly cold. You couldn’t read Spencer’s expression.

“Yeah, we can feel it in the air up here, too,” you replied. He scooted forward and swished his tail in the water, the movement rippling out. If a butterfly flutters its wings, you thought. “I’m probably going to have to head out soon,” Spencer added. “To avoid the storm.”

You nodded; throat suddenly dry. “That makes sense. I want you to be safe.” It was true. Tara could attest to the obvious anxiety the storm had been causing you. You needed him to be safe.

“We haven’t missed a Sunday yet,” he said, licking his lips. “I’ll probably be gone for a few days. I might not make it back in time.” You nodded. You didn’t mention that the thought of not seeing him, not having your weekly Sunday routine, made your insides turn to sullen mush. Like the wet sand squishing beneath your feet.

“We’ll be okay,” you affirmed, putting on a smile. Spencer returned it. You got the feeling that you weren’t just talking about a Sunday, but rather something far bigger than either of you could fathom.

You spent the rest of your time together engaged in pleasant conversation, but neither one of you could deny the feeling that something pivotal was happening. And you weren’t sure whether it would have a happy ending.

When you realized you had to leave, you and Spencer didn’t say goodbye. You simply parted ways, knowing what was to come. Something more ominous than any storm. Than any hurricane. So, you didn’t say goodbye. Because this wasn’t goodbye.

And because some things were better left unspoken.

[next chapter]

A/N: Thank you all for sticking with this story that Im so excited to be telling! Consider reblogging or dropping a comment if you enjoyed :) It’s a writer’s fuel

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[spencersmagic]

Remember me.

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request: "hey bestiee, i have a request . where spencer loses her memory after something happened in field and reader tries to make him remember her. it won’t be easy for them but i think a happy ending would be nice🦋 i think it could be either a blurb or fiction but however you feel better✨✨ thankss"

couple: spencer reid x fem reader

category: a lot of angst, fluff. happy ending :)

warnings: mentions of injury, amnesia (it shows i have no freaking idea about how that works :)), brief mentions of blood. let me know if there's anything else.

this was really hard to write but i like it :) i hope you do, too.

also, this request is 3+ months old. i'm shameful shfjksdhfks

***

It all came to her in bits: the sirens, the empty words coming from her walkie-talkie, trying to keep her calm, the cold breeze that suddenly became too hot when she heard the gunshot, the three pairs of footsteps walking up to the love of her life, unconscious, lying on a pool of blood.

Oh god. There was so much blood.

Ironically enough, she couldn’t remember what had led to this moment. She couldn’t really figure out who the culprit of her heartbreak was. Or maybe she did.

It’s all so blurry.

Because nothing feels real - nothing feels like it changed but, at the same time, everything has shifted.

As if her glasses had suddenly changed color, now tinted in a green-grey color that only captured pain and so much confusion. As if the entire world had been pulled from under her feet, leaving her floating, searching for some gravitational force that would stabilize her, allow her to stand up.

**

“Dr Reid has suffered blunt force trauma to the head, as well as a bullet that lodged onto his thigh. Two centimeters to the left, and it would’ve hit the main femoral artery. You’re lucky he’s stable, Mrs. Reid” the Doctor explained to her with the most sympathetic look. She was staring at the doctor in front of her, unable to move, unable to comprehend.

How did this happen?

Who did this?

She could barely move, her mind still processing what she was feeling. Numb enough, though a whirlwind of emotions coursing through her veins..

“C-can I see him?” Y/N mumbled.

“Right this way”.

**

He looked so pale.

Practically unconscious, he lied on the bed, heavy lids and shaking, bruised body. A cut grazed his cheekbone, lining the slowly-appearing facial hair that decorated his soft skin.

He kept mumbling the same sentence over and over again.

This was the first time her heart felt like it had just been shattered.

“My name is Spencer Reid. I’m 27 years old. I’m an FBI agent. I work for the BAU. That stands for “Behavioural Analysis Unit”. My mother is Diana. She has Alzheimer’s but she’s safe. I got shot in the field. My name is…”

“Dr. Reid. Mrs. Reid is here to see you”.

He looked up at the doctor, wide eyes and stammering. “I-I didn’t know I had a sister. What's your name?” he sits up, flinching in the process, but eager to meet her.

***

“What do you mean “Amnesia”? Does this look like a cheap telenovela to you?” Y/N raised her voice at the doctor, unable to contain her rage. How did this happen? Why was he the one in the hospital gown?

The doctor reached for her pager, slowly, tentatively. “Calm down or we will have to remove you, Mrs. Reid”.

But she could only think about the love of her life, lying on the white bed sheets that definitely scratched his skin in the worst ways. She stormed back into the room.

***

“Hi! You’re my sister, right?” said Spencer at the sight of her.

“I’m not-“

“You know, genetically speaking, seeing that mom’s eyes are blue and dads are green, your eyes should look a little darker. Don’t take that as an insult, though. You look great.

You see, the Mendelian concept that plots genetic trends into dominant and regressive traits indicates that darker colors tend to proliferate in comparison to lighter ones. This means that, even though neither mom or dad have brown eyes, due to the fact that it’s a dominant trait, we are both likely to inherit it” Spencer rambled. “Wait, why are you crying?” he looked so confused.

“No-nothing, baby. Just… I’m not your sister”. she tried to hold back her sobs, eyes shutting harshly.

Spencer bit his nails. “Then who are you?”

“I’m your wife”.

“Oh… I’m sorry…” Spencer looked down at his hands. “You seem like a very sweet person, but I’m afraid I don’t remember you.” he hesitantly moved his hand forward to dry her cheeks. “I wish I did”.

She straightened up, shifting further into his touch. They stared into each other’s eyes, and she could feel herself falling in love all over again. And that when it hit her.

If Spencer had fallen in love with her before, he could do so again.

“Don’t worry, my love. If you allow me, I will show you the whole world. I’ll get you to remember”.

***

After repeatedly asking his team whether or not she was actually his wife, he eventually felt comfortable enough to go home to her. “I’m sure being close to you will help me remember little by little… I would like to get my old life back”.

The thought that she’s seen by him as “his old life”, when he’s her everything, broke her a little bit further. But Y/N was persistent.

“If he’s loved me once, he can love me again” she explained to their worried teammates.

***

It took Spencer surprisingly little time to get used to their apartment. As he walked around the apartment, his feet stood firm over the wood, though his arms were pressed tightly against his body - a position he often undertook when feeling insecure. He walked in, taking in the smell of parchment and his favorite blueberry muffins, baked by Y/N.

In that moment, he knew she would make life, with all its hardships, a little bit easier. Well, perhaps not easier, but definitely lighter.

“This is where you asked me out for the first time” she explained, smoothing over her lavender floral dress - his favorite, and the one she had worn that day. She had reached slowly to grasp his hand, but they were sitting comfortably against each other, as if they belonged within one another.

“It was a sunny day. You’ve never liked the way rain makes the clothes cling onto your body, so you made sure to pick a sunny day. We walked out here, to the lake, you turned me by the arm, ever the gentleman” she lightened the mood after seeing a frown graze his face, “and you told me you wanted to give me everything, if I accepted…” she explained. “Which I did, of course. I had been crushing on you for three months, so I was obviously thrilled”.

She turned to look at him. A frown grazed his features as he took everything in. Concentrating, he tried to recreate the scene with his imagination but he came up empty.

“What was I wearing?” he asked.

“Oh! You were wearing the most beautiful white linen shirt and brown pants. You had an orange and a green sock - you’ve always loved mixing and matching your fun socks' ' she tried to give as much information as possible. “Though what stuck out the most was the lilies you bought for me. They were gorgeous, Spencer. You’ve always had a good eye with flowers”.

“I-I don’t remember-” he stammered frustrated, shutting his eyes. She interrupted him, placing a hand on his cheek.

“It’s okay. I don’t need you to remember, Spencer. You just have to learn”.

***

The music in the bar blared. Though more confident, comfortable perhaps, he still didn’t like the loud music. After all, he never did.

“What is this?” Spencer questioned. He stood behind Y/N, hugging himself with one arm, the other holding her hand tightly.

She chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Spence. We aren’t going in” she sat down, making him follow suit. The grass usually made his skin feel uncomfortable, but her soothing touch made him forget about texture, and the smell of cheap beer, and the health-code violations that the bar definitely committed.

“This is where we usually go out. As a team...” she clarified. “...we usually sit in the booth at the far end, where we aren’t typically disturbed. However, whenever we’ve had an especially difficult case, we tend to move closer to the drinks and dance floor. We like to let our hair down but…” she trailed off.

“What? What happened?” asked Spencer, not unlike a little kid hearing an exciting story for the first time.

“You first kissed me there” Y/N let out softly, knowing how bad Spencer feels about it. “You were… tipsy, and I was dancing with Penelope and Derek. You got up, walked up to me and kissed me” she whispered. He looked bewildered at her, so she tried to soften her words. “We had already been dating for a few we-”

“What?! Just like that?!” he sputtered out. “I didn’t even ask, or-or take you to a more… hygienic place?”.

She chuckled, nostalgically. “No… But you did apologize a thousand times after that” she elbowed him, teasingly, allowing him to let out a chuckle. “I think you are completely forgiven by now”.

His laughter died with hers. “I guess you’re right…” he sat, pondering.

She took a moment to analyse his look. The beard was long gone now, and the former cut he had across his cheekbone was now but a small line. His hair had grown longer before the accident, but he had gotten a haircut from JJ which had left him as handsome as ever.

“So… Was I a good husband?” he looked down at her, wide eyed, and, for the nth time, she felt her heart break all over again. She sighed.

“Spencer, you’ve always been good at everything. Marriage hasn’t been any different - in fact, I was the one who wasn’t good enough for you, not the other way around. You loved me with a love that could never be replaced… With such care and passion that I always feel seen and comfortable whenever I am around you” she explained softly.

He smiled sadly. “You sound like you really loved me”.

Caressing the scar on his cheekbone, she whispered, “I really do”.

***

“Where are we?”

“This is Rossi’s place. He’s letting us walk around and see if you can remember anything” she reasoned.

“Okay” he replied as he walked her into the unfamiliar home. “What did we do here?” he asked, eyeing the chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

She exhaled shakily. “This is where you proposed to me”. Chuckling, she continued, “you always said meaning is only found where you place it. Proposing in a fancy restaurant, though perhaps prettier, wouldn’t ever compare to the countless memories we have made in David’s house”.

Her sneakers squeaked against the floor as she moved across the lounge. “Here, you got on one knee and told me about all the things that had made you fall in love with me… you explained that I was the only one for you, that nobody had ever made you feel like I have a-and…” she was cut off with her own sob, as she remembered all the things she could never get back.

Everything she had lived, all the memories she had shared with her partner, were long gone. Almost nothing but a mere figment of her own memory. How real were they, really, if the shared memories had now turned into ideas? Was her memory at play when she remembered all the ways she had fallen in love with the genius in front of her? Perhaps, it was her imagination.

Perhaps, none of it was any more real than it was to him. Stories told by a girl trying to reminisce over two forgotten people.

“I-I can’t, Spencer. You walk around. I’m d-done”, she hurried out, getting a cab.

***

Spencer had felt awful after what had happened. So awful, in fact, that he had gotten her favorite Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, Cookies & Cream (something she had mentioned once, and yet, something he couldn’t seem to forget).

He shuffled to her door, duffle bag on one hand, and two tubs of melting ice cream on the other. Knocking with the elbow, which he appreciated due to the sheer amount of germs that normally reside in our hands, he waited in front of the wooden door, chewing the inside of his cheek.

The door opened to reveal a messy-haired Y/N wearing a purple pair of surprisingly familiar oversized pyjama pants and a black tank top. She looked up at her. “What are you doing here?” she asked softly.

“I’m here to make it up to you” he said, walking into the apartment.

“You don’t have to-”

“Yeah, I do. Because I know that what happened wasn’t my fault, but I should’ve been more careful with handling your emotions. So…” he lifted the tubs, “...ice cream”.

“Okay… Grab the spoons and sit down with the tubs. I’ll make your pop corn” she said, shuffling towards the kitchen. “In the meantime, you can start any episode of Doctor Who. I will be there in 5’” she said.

***

As Y/N walked back into the living room, she was greeted by a small Spencer, head between his hands, a blanket hugging him.

“Spencer… Are you okay?” she hesitated. He looked up at her, face tear-streaked. He stood up suddenly.

“I-” he choked up, sobbing. “I remember”. He walked up to her quickly, removing the popcorn bowl from her hands, setting it on the counter.

“Y-you remember?” she smiled, looking up to him, hands hugging his cheeks. He nodded, “I do! I remember the first day you walked into the precinct. I-I remember seeing your face light up with joy at the prospect of working at the BAU. The only thing I could think about was that you are light. Because you are. You are the person I had been waiting for all those years.

I remember seeing you dancing with the team on one of our nights off. The way you swayed to the rhythm of the beat. I’ve never been good at dancing, or parties, or girls but at that time, I had to throw caution out of the wind, and have you.

I remember that I quoted Jane Austen when I proposed to you! She said “I have no notion of loving in halves”, a-and it never made sense until I saw you”.

He sighed, pulling her close to his chest.

“I know these last months have been incredibly hurtful to you: to see the person you love not even remember you. But I need you to know that you have always been so much more than enough for me” he grasped her face with his soft hands, and leaned in.

“Can I kiss you, darling?” he asked, chuckling through tears. She laughed between sobs.

“Every day for the rest of your life, my love”.

****

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Series Summary: After being arrested, Spencer Reid desperately tries to get back home to his daughter, Camellia, who was placed into foster care in your home.

Pairing: Single!Dad!Spencer x Foster!Mom!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Content/Warnings: mentions of Diana’s Alzheimer’s and Schizophrenia, prison, separation of father and daughter, swearing

A/N: i hope you guys enjoy my new fic! this may be about 8 chapters or so! i’m not sure yet, going to see how interested people are in the plot :) (also quick disclaimer: i have never been in the foster care system so please excuse any inaccuracies)

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Spencer never wanted his daughter to see him like this, being brought into the BAU bullpen in handcuffs. He was supposed to be the good guy.

Right now, he couldn’t tell if he still was. He had good intentions going down to Mexico to get non-FDA approved medicine for his mom but he may have killed someone in the process. If only he could just remember.

Camellia ran into his arms to hug him, a hug he so desperately wanted to return if it wasn’t for these stupid cuffs around his wrists.

“They can’t just take you away, Dad,” she cried.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m going to get back to you as soon as possible,” he promised, kissing the top of her head.

Spencer felt absolutely crushed as the guards had to drag his crying 11-year-old off of him so he could be taken to his holding cell.

-

You had just gotten off of work when your phone rang. Eileen, the head foster care coordinator, was calling.

“Hello,” you answered.

“Hey Y/N,” she greeted you, “I know you haven’t had a foster kid in a few months but I kind of have an urgent case. 11-year-old sixth grade girl. Mom has been out of the picture for a while, Dad recently imprisoned and on trial for murder. There are a bunch of family friends willing to take her but no direct family,” she explained.

“I can take her for as long as she needs,” you told Eileen.

“Great! I’ll text you the address, it’s the FBI headquarters.”

-

When you walked into the BAU, still in your dino scrubs and white lab coat, Eileen was surrounded by a frantic group of people.

“As I said before, I don’t doubt any of your credentials but this is the law. We can only give away a child to direct family at this point in time. If you are not direct family, you will need a lawyer to fight for custody as well as permission from her father but that process could take months,” Eileen stated.

“Spencer hasn’t spoken to his father in years and his mother is in a facility for her schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s,” a dark-haired woman spoke.

“Exactly so she must be turned over to the foster care system. I apologize to you all but this is how it works. We can’t bend the rules,” Eileen said.

“I don’t want Callie fending for herself in a house with 20 other kids,” a blonde-haired woman argued, “I’m her godmother. She stays with me all the time. She was staying with me while Spencer was in Mexico.”

“Sorry, my answer is still no. But, hopefully this will squash your concerns, Y/N!” she called you over, “This is Y/N. Jo will be placed with her. She is a pediatric doctor and currently has no other foster kids at the moment but all of her past kids have absolutely adored her. She always passes her surprise safety and wellness checks with flying colors.

“Hi,” you waved, intimidated by this huge group of frustrated people with guns on their hips.

“A doctor? So she isn’t even going to be home most of the time,” a curly-haired man scoffed.

“Actually, I own my own practice. I don’t work at a hospital so I usually have a regular 8-4 shift unless one of my patients needs urgent attention,” you clarified.

“JJ, don’t make me go,” a girl, who you could only assume was Callie, sobbed.

They were all staring at you like you were the worst person on Earth. You wanted to shrivel up and die. When you went through the process of becoming a foster parent, you thought this was a very admirable thing to do. You just wanted to provide a good home to kids in need.

“Do any of you have a key to Dr. Reid’s residence so Camellia can pack a bag?” you asked politely.

The woman closest to Callie that must be JJ pulled a key off of her chain and handed it to you.

“I’ll-um-leave my phone number and address here so you guys can contact me at any time or stop by. I understand your concerns but please know I try my absolute hardest to make sure all kids feel welcome and safe in my house,” you scribbled your information down on a scrap piece of paper.

“Are you ready to go, Camellia?” you asked softly.

She went around hugging everyone in the circle before solemnly nodding to you.

God, you felt like such an asshole.

-

After Callie finished packing her things from her bedroom in relative silence, you returned to the car.

“I don’t know what you like to eat but we can stop at the grocery store so we can get stuff you like and any other things you need,” you said.

You were met with silence from the backseat. You offered for her to sit in the passenger seat but she declined.

“Listen, I’m really not trying to be the bad guy here. Please don’t make me out to be one. I know you are having a tough time with your Dad’s situation right now but shutting everyone else out won’t help,” you spoke softly, “Trust me, I know.”

You sighed when the silence continued. You pulled out of the Reid’s driveway and headed to the grocery store.

-

You let Callie lead when you entered the grocery store, opting to follow behind her with the cart. She went immediately to the frozen meal section and started throwing them in.

“Camellia, that’s fine if those are what you want but just so you know, I love to cook so I can make you anything you want,” you offered.

“This is what I’m used to,” she spoke sharply, “My dad is not a bad dad, he just usually doesn’t have much time.”

“I never claimed he was,” you defended yourself.

After that, you kept your mouth shut. Clearly, she was a very independent girl and she had her own routine she liked to stick to.

-

You hauled all the grocery bags inside the house and unloaded them as Callie brought in her suitcases.

“So Camellia, I put all the food you picked out in these two cabinets. I mean obviously, you are welcome to anything in the kitchen but I just wanted you to know where the things you picked out were. I always have a grocery list on the fridge that you can add to,” you began to give her a tour of the house, “Bathroom is in there. There’s another upstairs. Here’s the living room with a TV,” you headed up the stairs, “Here’s my room.”

On your bed was an adorable toyger kitten cuddled up on your pillow.

“Oh! This is Winnie like Winnie the Pooh. I just got her a few weeks ago from a shelter. She is super friendly and loves snuggles so she will probably try to sneak into your bed unless you keep your door closed.”

“I don’t mind,” Callie spoke softly as she petted Winnie.

You smiled softly. These were the first words you got out of her that weren’t a rejection.

You continued the tour, “There’s a bathroom between our rooms but I tend to use the downstairs one so feel free to make it your own. And here’s your room,” you opened the door to a white room with a queen bed in the center, a small bookshelf, a few plants, and paintings.

“I hope this is good enough for now. We can go out this weekend to a home goods store if you want to redecorate. I’d even be open to repainting it if you want,” you offered.

Callie just set her bags down and nodded.

“Alright, I’ll leave you be. I’ll probably be downstairs for a while watching TV if you want to join. Let me know if you want me to make you anything,” you began to shut the door but Winnie slipped in first.

“Good night, you guys,” you smiled softly.

-

“Do you want me to wait out here or come in with you?” you asked softly.

Spencer had been denied bail, meaning he was transferred to a federal prison and Callie was going to be staying with you for a while. She had taken the news rather hard as expected when the team came over to your house to tell her. You still weren’t really accepted by the group so you mostly stood in the corner of the kitchen while they were all in your living room.

You had spoken to Eileen several times about Callie’s current situation. She gave you permission to do whatever you saw fit. This means you could opt her out of school one or two days a week if she wasn’t feeling up to it as long as she emailed her teachers and got her missed work in on time. You were researching different therapists for her to talk to because she didn’t seem to want to open up to you. You were also given a schedule of visiting times for her to visit her dad in prison.

“I’ll just go in alone,” she walked in the door to the visiting room, leaving you in the waiting room.

-

“Dad,” Callie tried to hug Spencer but the guard pointed to the ‘No Touching’ sign posted on the wall.

They both sat down defeatedly at opposite ends of the table.

“How are you?” Callie inquired, wiping her tears away from seeing her father locked up.

“I don’t want to talk about me, sweetheart. How are you? Emily and my lawyer visited yesterday and told me you had to be placed into foster care,” Spencer asked, concerned.

“It’s okay. Not the best,” she sighed.

“What’s happening? Are they hurting you? Are they not giving you enough to eat? Callie, I’ll have my lawyer on the phone and you out of there so quick,” Spencer frantically stated.

“No, Dad. Y/N is fine…nice, even. But she’s not you,” Callie cried.

Spencer’s face softened, “I’m so sorry, Callie. You don’t deserve to be dealing with any of this.”

“Just please come home,” she sniffled.

“I’m trying, sweetheart, I’m really trying,” he replied earnestly with tears in his eyes.

A/N: i will also be starting a series taglist if you don’t want to be added to my main taglist so just clarify which one you want to join! also i recommend listening to the song Home by Phillip Phillips because it is kind of like the theme song for this story

main taglist (just ask to be added/removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @babymetaldoll @fics4arainyday @ssavanessa22 @all-tings-diego

series taglist: @ilovespencerreidmarryme

[spencer-reids-adventures]

Could you do a part 2 of Reid needing his cane permanently, with his mum.

Spencer flies to Las Vegas to visit his mother, trusty cane in hand, and makes his way to her room at the sanitarium.

“Hey, mom,” he says, knocking gently on the door, and she jumps up from her place on the couch.

“Spencer!” she cries. “I didn’t know you were coming to visit!” She gathers him in for a hug and holds onto him tightly. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

“How have you been? Come sit down.” She motions for him to follow her and both of them take a seat on the couch.

“I’ve been okay,” he says quietly.

“You’re lying,” she says. “I always know when you’re lying, Spencer.”

“I found out I have to keep using this cane forever,” he admits, holding it up.

“Oh, is that all?”

He looks pointedly at his mother. “What do you mean, is that all?”

“Well, it could be worse,” she points out. “You could be unable to walk even with the cane, right?”

Spencer nods.

“So, really, you’ve been given a gift in that cane,” she says. “You should be grateful.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at it,” he says.

“Honey, I’m not trying to tell you that you can’t be sad. That you can’t grieve. But always remember to look on the bright side, too, okay? I think it’s great that you’re still able to be up and about.”

“I know, I know,” Spencer says. “It’s just… it’s tough to get used to a new normal, you know?”

“I do,” Diana says. “I had to get used to a new normal, too, once. When I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.”

Spencer stares at her.

“I remember sitting in the doctor’s office when he told me that what had been ailing me was never going to go away. That it was part of my brain chemistry for the rest of my life. Oh, you should have seen how I cried.”

“You did?”

“Of course I did. But, Spencer, it hasn’t been all bad. I’m happy with my life, and I’m so proud of you, and glad I’ve been able to watch you grow and thrive. I know this feels like a setback, but everything is going to be okay. I promise you.”

Spencer swallows. “I believe you.”

“As you should,” Diana says with a smile. “Now, show me that cane of yours. It looks unique.”

“Oh, yeah, my friend Penelope got it for me…”