#TF2 1850s Engineer

[tf2incorrectquotes]

1850s Engineer: I’m just out of ideas.

1850s Demoman: You know what I do when I’m out of ideas? Cocaine! And then I get like a million ideas at once.

[mentaly-british-biologist]

TF2 PLAYABLE CAHARCTER LORE:

Okay, so just some context. Mann Co is a business organisation that runs most other companies in the world. Everything was shared equally between two brothers/heirs to the corporations power and money, apart from one thing in particular. A gravel pit.These two brothers, known as Redmond and Blutard Mann wanted to overachive and be better than one another, so decided to hire mercenaries to fight for this land. This original team, founded between 1800-1850's was comprised of Billy the Kid, Stonewall Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Alfred Nobel, John Henry, Nikola Tesla, Sigmund Freud, Davy Crockett, and Fu Manchu. They would take the roles of the mercinaries like so:

Scout: Billy the Kid (1859 - 1881)

Soldier: Stonewall Jackson (1824 - 1863)

Pyro: Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Demoman: Alfred Nobel (1833 - 1896)

Heavy: John Henry (Folk Hero)

Engineer: Nikola Tesla (1856 - 1943)

Medic: Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

Sniper: Davy Crockett (1786 - 1836)

Spy: Fu Manchu (Fictional Villain)

These people would battle with others with similar weapons, stature, and power until they would eventually get too old to fight.After this, the two brothers soon realised that they may die prematurely before the battle could end, so asked for personal commissioned machinery designed to keep them alive for longer. [[This will be elaborated in the plot later, this stuff is kinda important.]]Okay, now the old team is dead. Time for the new ones. 1930's mercs were probably the most advanced out of all of the mercs, with the 1850 mercenaries looking like they've been pulled off the streets to fight, and the 1970 mercs looking like a mix of the two old teams designs. Everyone has some sort of camo on them apart from their engineer, who possibly be Fred Conagher, the father of the Engineer we know and love. Fred Conhager, in particular, may be the same man who created the machines keeping the Mann brothers alive, but we are currently unsure. The next generation, and the one we know today is the 1970's team. This consists of:

Scout- Jeremy

Soldier- Jane Doe

Pyro- Unknown

Demoman- Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Heavy- Mikhail

Engineer- Dell Conagher

Medic- Mr. Ludwig

Sniper- Mick Mundy (Adoptive name)

Spy- Unknown

Along side them is Ms.Pauling and The Administrator. I'll list out characters as shown, one by one.

**SCOUT**

Full name is unknown, so we'll stick to Jeremy. He was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. He is the youngest of eight children, and so constantly looks for attention. Can't read, but can run extremely fast. Seems that a specific brand of fizzy drink, known as Atomic Bonk can make him much faster. Dies in the comics and goes to heaven, whete he is told he was God's gift to all women, and was sent back to earth to 'get laid' [[This is the comics words, not mine]]

Has a tattoo of tom jones with the words 'S€X BOM' on it [Told you he couldn't read] and is canonically Spy's son. Has a crush on Ms. Pauling.

**SOLDIER**

His name may not even be Jane Doe. Because those are USA and UK placeholder names for unidentifiable corpses. [[Jane Doe as a woman]] Is a God-fearing patriotic Midwest American. Despite his role in the team, he has not once been in a war situation. He just got to the frontlines in WW2 and started blowing up Germans. He has lead poisoning, although we're not sure if that's why he's like this, he is extremely aggressive and has a special move called 'rocket jumping' where he can fire a rocket at his feet, shooting him into the air. It doesn't hurt him however, because he doesn't think it will [[So stupid he bends nature's laws at will??!?!?]] He was also roommates with a wisard called Merasmus. Merasmus kicked him out, and tom jones became his new roommate.

Soldier kills tom jones. For no reason. Soldier is also in love with Heavy's sister, Zhanna.

**PYRO**

Whoo boy, this is a confusing one. We do not know Pyro's gender, where they're from, or even if they are a person. We do know that many characters refer to Pyro as he/him, but Soldier does have a suspicion that they might be a woman. He may be schizophrenic, or it could be their optical mask, but he sees the battle as a fluffy arena filled with unicorns and lollipops. However, they do have the capacity to be very much enraged, and cut off Soldier's hand once when in a car with Demoman and Ms. Pauling.

**DEMOMAN**

Drunk. Born in Ullapool, Scottland. His parents were Tilly DeGroot and her husband who we don't know , whom both are blind. Demoman was put up for adoption by them after being bad at blowing things up. He would eventually find a book called 'The Bomonicon' [[I hope i wrote that right]] with a mischievous spirit inside. Once he had opened the book, the spirit inside made it's way to his eye, haunting his eyesocket, and making him lose said eye. He then blows up his adoptive parents while trying to hunt for the loch ness monster, then gets taken back by his original parents. His mother keeps asking him to get a job, even though he makes 3 million+ a year. Loves alcohol. Like, really loves alcohol, so much so, that when he eats normal food, his body thinks it's been poisoned. After an extensive time away from alcohol, his body turns his stomach into a makeshift distillery, fermenting bone marrow into alcohol. This alcohol in particular is so strong, it gives blood-sucking robots [[Don't ask]] alcohol poisoning. Can also do something similar to Soldier by 'Stickybomb jumping' that also takes no damage, due to him being too drunk.

**HEAVY**

Heavy was born in Russia sometime around WW1. His father was an anti-revolutionary who opposed the Communist uprising, so he was executed and Heavy's family put in the gulag for three months before it was burnt down in 1941 and all the guards tortured to death. Yeah, you heard me right, the gulag. He has three sisters called Zhanna, Yana and Bronislava. His mothers name is currently unknown to us. His weight is the same as his HP: 300. He is quite a nice guy when it comes to his teammates and gives even more affection to his guns, who of one he has a case at the end of his bed for. This gun in particular is named Sasha, of which he is very possessive and which weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom-tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. He also reveals that it costs $400,000 to fire his weapon for 12 seconds. Heavy has named all of his primary weapons, basic Minigun being Sasha, Tomislav being Svetlana, Brass Beast being Oksana and Huo Long Heater being Sheila. He was also the first in the team to have the experimental ubercharge operation and survive, making him bulletproof. Also sandvich.

**ENGINEER**

Known as Dell Conagher, this man has eleven PhD's. Yes, you read that right. ELEVEN. He was born in Bee Cave, Texas, USA, and may or may not be related to one of the previous mercinaries in the classic team. Apart from this, he has created machines like teleporters [[Don't put bread in them]], sentries, and dispensers that he can place around the battlefield to help his team. He is friends with Pyro, and seems to understand them, despite their speech being muffled. One of the only few to help The Administrator with her Australium-Age related problem, and answered the phone for her when she died once.

**MEDIC**

Okay, this will be too long if I go into detail. This is quickfire. Mr. Ludwig was born in Stuttgart, Germany and has little regard for the Hippocratic Oath. He is insane. He loves doves, especially his most beloved one, Archimedes. Managed to get into contact with the devil and made a deal that would cost his soul. We do not know what he had sold his soul for, but the chances it was for his medical 'discoveries' is quite high. Managed to steal an entire skeleton and got away. Lost his medical licence soon after this. While giving his teammates surgeries, stole all of their souls and surgically added them to his own soul. During a Halloween party, he was caught off gaurd by a mugger. After knocking him out, he then put the muggers brain in a pumpkin.This would later help him out. Re-hired to aid the 1930 Classic team for a new leader, *Grey Mann*. When sniper was shot down by the classic's heavy, he brought him back to life an hour later with the help of a blue whale's pineal gland directly into his brain stem. The entire surgery cost about 1.3 billion dollars. Classic heavy, after seeing this, crushes his favourite dove, Archimedes. He also brings his bird back to life. After this, classic heavy and Medic get into a fight. Heavy shows up, only for classic heavy to shoot Ludwig twice in the chest. After quickly swindling the devil by giving him another soul for a pen, he comes back to life, and then pretends it is an inducer that would make classic heavy give birth to three healthy baby baboons, due to the three baboon uterus's he had placed inside him during a surgery [[I'm confused too, don't worry]] Classic heavy belives the bluff, giving Heavy enough time to take him down. after that, he takes out the real inducer and claims that the human body could only generate two at the most.

**SNIPER**

He is Australian.

Except, he isn't. He's a New Zealander.

New Zealand is Atlantis btw.

His adoptive name is Mick Mundy, although his real first name is Mun-dee, like his real mother and father, Bil-Bel and Lar-nah, making his real name Mun-dee Mundy. New Zealand is underwater due to the fact that the geniuses wanted to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. After being shot out of the country in a Krypton-Superman-Spacepod style fashion, he is adopted by Jonathan Mundy and his wife Mrs. Mundy in Australia. He then becomes skilled in shooting from afar. In the most previous comic, he dies. Medic brings him back to life, and he immediately attacks him, asking why he was the last person he saw before bleeding out. Yeah, he also pees in a jar and throws it at people as a weapon, so... yeah. Also, golf trophy.

**SPY**

Not much is really known about his past but all that is known is that he was born in France in an unknown region. It's a mystery on how he became a master spy and a master of disguise as no one knows if someone trained him or he rather he trained himself. We do know however, that he is Scout's father. He seems to hate everyone and everything, and may or may not have lung cancer due to how many cigarettes he smokes. He is snarky, witty, and cocky, some of these traits are shared with Scout also. He got shot in the kneecaps when a plan in the latest comic, and Sniper saved him by shooting the guy who did it. He also disguised as Tom Jones when Scout was dying, and for the first time, directly called him son. He wears a custom tailored Louis Crabbermaché suit, is valued at $10,000, and has his own smoking room within the base.

I made this all in the Undertale server. Don't ask.

This took me three days to do.

[undeadleadartz]

Yeehawgust Day 2: Home on the Range

This was a very challenging piece cause of the background and finer details. Featuring some of the men from the 1850s team of Team Fortress!

[violetkatgrove]

Is TF2 your main interest right now? What's it about?

okay so to summarize the catch up comic- actually you know what i will share snippets of the catch up comic as i explain when i can just say what mr saxton hale says verbatim-

so starting off in 1850 new mexico, empty ass desert, we got these boys right here

so here we got two shitty brothers and their shitty dad living in the desert bc the boys thought it would be funny

short time later the dad dies, and leaves his company(mann co) to his trusted aid(mr. saxton hales grandfather), and as punishment for everything, leaves the desert land for the two boys to fight over until they died

and they did just that! hiring mercs all around, and, as mr. hale says-

so thats what the base games abt! tho the characters in the game are not the mercs hired in the 1850s, they're from 1960s-70s, iirc

in those years of course the brothers got old as balls and knew they were gonna kick the bucket soon, so one of them devises a plan to get mr. radigan conagher(engineers grandfather) to build them funny immortal machines, except heres the kicker, this lady right here convinced mr. conagher to make a machine for both brothers using the fictional resource australium, which the australians used to basically skyrocket technologically and its now a continent of himbos and herbos wrestling animals and scoring big ol mustaches in only 1890!

the war goes on up to 1972, where as it turns out the brothers had a third brother who was ditched by the family bc he was physically weak also could fucking talk at birth which freaked everyone out, so he was instead raised by eagles! its fucked up

Mann Co. is now run by good ol saxton hale, who i should mention is one of them superpowered himbo aussies, and looks like this

(the current crop of mercs being the ones from the hit video game)

but back to the third brother Gray Mann, in the comics he basically sneaks in and kills both his brothers, ending the gravel war, and is attempting to take over mann co. which in issue 1 he succeeds in doing, making the main story comics abt these two ladies getting the team back together to stop this man bc hes trying to take over the world using that funny australium stuff, him killing his brothers also leads to the funny game mode where instead of fighting another team you get to fight an army of robots!

and thats everything to explain, i think! its pretty fun and wacky while still having a bit of serious story to it, despite also having things like himbo country and a man that throws jars of piss at people(only in the games, he has not done it in the main comics, yet)

[tf2community]

@a-virtuous-pyromaniac submitted:

The Administrator, the Debt and the End: A Theory From Reddit

Hello! I saw this on r/TF2 and I don’t think it’s made its rounds on Tumblr. It’s well written and well-thought-out, so I thought I’d share. 

THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL WORK. IT BELONGS TO REDDITOR AVTHEMARSUPIAL. 

Original post can be found HERE.

*******

HUGE SPOILERS FOR ISSUE #6. SERIOUSLY, GET OUT IF YOU AIN’T READ THE COMIC YET.

Issue #6 of the post-MVM comics has come out, and boy, what a doozy.

Over the last five years since Blood Brothers and the Mann vs. Machine update, we’ve had lore trickle out at us in small pieces at a time. I’ve got some theories on what’s gonna happen next, but to get a handle on things, let’s recap.

I AIN’T KIDDING, MAN. SPOILERS AFTER THIS. THE COMIC’S LONG. IT’S WORTH IT. GO READ IT. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU DID.

Our story starts on September 2nd, 1822, with the birth of the Mann Triplets to wealthy landowner Zepheniah Mann and Bette Mann (née Darling) during the Great Eagle Scourge of London.

One of the triplets, Grey, is a genius. The other two, well, are not. Grey is abducted by an eagle, and Redmond and Blutarch are raised to believe they are the only sons of Zepheniah Mann.

Over the next twenty-eight years, Zepheniah remains wealthy and successful, presumably by selling munitions across the British Empire.

In 1849, Grey resurfaces, and threatens to blackmail Zepheniah for all his Australium.

Around 1850, Zepheniah, Redmond, and Blutarch traveled to the United States, where they had purchased large areas of land in New Mexico hoping to expand the munitions business. Zeph contracts an incredible amount of sicknesses, and dies shortly after.

After his death, his Last Will and Testament is read.

Elizabeth, Zeph’s maidservant, was left the entirety of the Mann Estate, including what was left of his fortune.

Barnabus Hale, grandfather of Saxton Hale, was left complete control over Mann Co.

Redmond and Blutarch were left the lands of New Mexico to split evenly between themselves.

Finally, Elizabeth was left the entirety of Zeph’s “miracle gravel”, or as it was really known, Australium.

The Brothers Mann immediately begin fighting over the land, each hiring a team of 9 mercenaries to seize the land from the other, beginning a century long stalemate.

Barnabus Hale took over Mann Co. and even got into the coal mining business thanks to the Mann Brothers selling him a coal mine for 5 cents.

As for Elizabeth, that’s where things get tricky.

In 1890, Blutarch Mann hires Radigan Conagher to build him a machine to prolong his life indefinitely.

Radigan goes back to his workshop, where a mysterious woman is waiting for him. We’re never told who the woman is, but an obvious conclusion is that she has some connection to the present day Administrator Helen, and Zepheniah’s maidservant Elizabeth. The TF2 Wiki, going off of an old “printing” of Loose Canon names this woman as Emily, differentiating her from both Elizabeth and Helen. The Catch-Up comic, however, names this woman as Elizabeth, although with a different appearance than the previous Elizabeth. For purposes of simplicity, I’ll continue to call this woman Emily.

Emily gives a halfhearted attempt at convincing Radigan to not build the machine, and when that fails, attempts a counter-offer. Since 1880, Emily has been hunting down 100 pounds of Australium, which she offers to Radigan if he’ll build a second machine for Redmond Mann as well. Radigan accepts, naturally.

The 1st Life Extending Machine (LEM) is finished on July 17th, 1894 for Blutarch.

The 2nd LEM is finished on August 3rd, 1894 for Redmond.

But as we know from Loose Canon, Radigan built a 3rd LEM, which he finished April 14th of an unknown year.

Blutarch tells Dell that he’s had possession of Radigan’s notes for 60 years, so its assumed that some time around 1900, Radigan dies and is buried with his notes, only to be exhumed by Blutarch.

Time marches on, and the brothers hire a new team of mercenaries to fight, the Classic Mercs, presumably one of many teams hired. After a time, the modern day mercs are hired and organized under the team name of FORTRESS, to continue the same fight that has been going on since the 1850s.

Then everything changes when Grey Mann shows up, killing both Brothers, forcing Saxton Hale to give up his company, and forcing Helen to run away.

Grey, having discovered that the Mann Co. vault containing 200,000 pounds of Australium is empty, hires the Classic Mercs to hunt down the Fortress Mercs and lead him to Helen.

Miss Pauling goes on a mission to reassemble Team Fortress, burning Helen’s geneology records along the way, while Saxton Hale goes to see about getting his company back with the help of his old friend Maggie, and Charles Darling.

Darling, upon meeting Hale, requests Australium in exchange for getting Mann Co. back, and tells Hale that the Administrator has been “playing two old gravel magnates against each other, establishing thousands of shell companies, filling entire coal mines with bodies, and over the course of a hundred and fifty years, stockpiling the largest supply of Australium in the world.”

The Administrator later meets with Pauling, telling her that there are 89,000 tonnes of Australium in existence, and she has been collecting all of it in the six months since Grey took over Mann Co.

Engineer has been revealed to be in hiding with the Administrator, keeping her alive with the use of a LEM, one much more modern than even Grey’s.

The model on her arm is nearly depleted, and Engineer replaces it with a newer one, which he believes can run on a quarter of the Australium that the previous Mark 4 did.

Dell then confesses that they’re just kicking the problem down the road, and that when the Australium in the Mark 5 runs out, the Administrator will likely die for good.

She dismisses it, claiming

Your family has already given me more time than any of us deserves, Mister Conagher. I don't need much more. Just enough to settle an old debt.

The Classic Heavy then betrays Grey Mann, who confesses to Miss Pauling;

Whatever despicable things you think I would have done with that power…you’re right.

And I promise you, what she’s planning is worse. Stop her.

Grey’s deathbed confession makes little difference to Miss Pauling, and she continues on with the mission regardless.

After Heavy and the Cheavy fight, Grey Mann’s LEM is destroyed, and Cheavy becomes a weak, frail looking old man before he dies, presumably due to Australium withdrawal.

The Administrator, recovering from being dead, is informed by Engineer that only a small vial of Australium remains on Earth. The Administrator dismisses this, simply vowing to find more.

Engineer explains that due to the Mark 5, even the small vial of Australium can give the Administrator six months of life, but that her life, and her plans to settle her debt, are at an end.

Administrator makes peace with this, and uses the entirety of the remaining Australium to reverse her aging, giving her only an hour left to live, which is where Issue #6 ends.

Now that we’re done with the backstory, let’s get on with the theory.

The TF2 lore really begins with Loose Canon, and it’s incredibly weird that Blutarch just has possession of Radigan’s notes for the greater part of the 20th century before he decides to call up Dell and ask him to fix his LEM. We know that the Mann Brothers were born on September 2nd, 1822, that Blutarch recieved his LEM on July 17th, 1894, and then dug up Radigan and his notes sometime around 1900, in his late 70s.

Blutarch goes onto say that he’s “barely cheated death out of a half-century” which would put his first Death at around 1910, which makes sense, since Blutarch is nearly 150 years old by 1968.

But we know that Emily and Helen have been working to keep the War going, so why allow Blutarch to get the original notes at all?

We know that RED and BLU are subsidiaries of TF Industries, founded by Redmond and Blutarch.

At some point, the properties of the Mann Estate not given to Barnabus Hale or Redmond and Blutarch were turned into TF Industries. It seems incredibly likely that RED and BLU were initially founded off of Elizabeth's generosity and Emily continued that practice by keeping Redmond and Blutarch alive, with Helen continuing the work of her mother and grandmother to keep their perpetual stalemate going. This type of grand strategy isn’t uncommon historically, with the best example being the Carolingians, who slowly take control over Western Europe over four generations, and fictionally, the Lannisters and the Tyrells of A Song of Ice and Fire, who plot for their grandchildren to eventually become Kings in their own right.

The Administrator family has a vested interest in keeping the Mann Brothers alive, if only to be subservient to them. Blutarch obtaining the notes in secret has to be something that would tip the balance in his favor, and allow him to end the War.

I think the Administrator knew but didn’t care, and that’s where the story kicked off.

Like we’ve said, the Mann Brothers are idiots. Blutarch tells Dell outright that Radigan’s notes have been the bane of his existence for sixty years, and Dell seems to be the only one who can do anything with them.

Had Dell fixed Blutarch’s LEM without fixing Redmond’s, it’s likely that Redmond would have died before Blutarch, ending the war. The solution then was simple. Much like her mother did, Helen would hire Radigan’s grandson to fix Blutarch’s LEM, but to also fix Redmond’s.

What about the Australium, though?

From Loose Canon, we know that Dell looked over Radigan’s papers and found a list of Australium caches.

Dell seems really interested in the Australium, and even though he could try and get to the caches without alerting anyone, given the reach and the influence that Helen has, I doubt he could get far without her killing him. Instead, it makes much more sense to hire Dell to work for her in secret, allowing him access to the Australium in exchange for keeping her alive by upgrading the third LEM, built by Radigan for the Administrator family before his death.

In Blood Brothers, we see that Dell must have succeeded in his task, and upgraded the Brothers’ LEMs.

These Mark 2 LEMs are sleeker, portable machines, unlike the large bulky Mark 1 that Radigan built.

Now, in Blood in the Water, we learn that the Mark 5 only uses up about a quarter of the Australium that the Mark 4 did.

In The Naked and the Dead, Dell says that the small vial of Australium left on earth is enough to get Helen anywhere between five to six months of life.

Helen however, decides to use the Australium to reverse her aging, presumably to her 20s or 30s, cutting her down to only an hour of life.

So if we extrapolate on this, we can guess that each later iteration of the Life Extending Machines used less Australium than the model before it. If we take the Mark 4-5 transition as a benchmark, the Mark 5 would only need 1 pound of Australium to do what the Mark 1 needs 256 pound to do.

That is, in my professional opinion, a metric shitton of Australium being lost for no real benefit.

Helen says there’s only 89,000 tonnes of Australium in existence, and that she owns all of it by 1972.

Grey and the Australians have some in their bodies, but besides them, there’s no more Australium left on the planet, presumably because most of it was all used up to keep two idiots alive.

So if Australium is so necessary to stockpile, as well as incredibly limited, why the hell would you waste it keeping two idiots alive to babysit, when you could kill both of them and spend your time elsewhere?

The Brothers really don’t contribute anything to the intellectual fields of society, and the gravel fields they’ve been fighting over are useless. The only thing of value the Brothers did inherit, the coal mine, was sold to Barnabus Hale for five cents. The graveline that powers the world’s steam engines is coming from the Hales, not the Manns.

Speaking of Barnabus, he and Elizabeth aren’t shown to have any real interactions, but given how the only thing Mann Co. does is sell guns and mine coal, if Elizabeth and her descendants are the true antagonist, there’s no real benefit to killing Barnabus and the Hales.

The only things the Mann Brothers have managed to achieve are founding RED and BLU, and as I’ve assumed, Elizabeth helped them start their companies anyway. The Mann Brothers really don’t need to be kept alive, but there’s no real point to getting rid of them either.

What’s the Administrator’s Deal?

Helen clearly has the same reason most humans would in wanting to live forever, but there’s also a second component. She tells Dell that extending her life isn’t just for her, referring to the “old debt” she’s been settling.

When Dell tells her that her life is at an end, Helen says

I’ve tried to keep this going as long as I could. I…

I even thought I was done once.

I still crave it…as much as I did when I was a little girl.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting it. It’s become…everything.

But you’re right. It’s over. And if I’m going to call an end to all of it…well…

Well.

Why not look my best?

This is incredibly cryptic. The obvious guess is that she’s referring to immortality, but I think it means something more than that.

Zepheniah Mann, a man of a prominent English family, was married to the daughter of William Darling, esquire, another man of a prominent English family.

We don’t really know anything about Bette Darling, but given that a man who fights with cougars for fun like Barnabuscries over her death, she must have been quite the charming lady.

On the other hand, Zepheniah seems like kind of a dick to his wife, ignoring his wife’s death in favor of hearing about his children. It doesn’t sound like a very warm marriage, and Bette would probably get tired of Zeph fairly often.

In England, a lady-in-waiting, or maidservant, was typically a noblewoman or a relative who would be part of a royal consort or noblewoman’s court.

Bette Darling, being from a prominent family and married to Zepheniah Mann, would most likely have her own lady-in-waiting to provide her with some much needed companionship. Given how Zepheniah seems to not care about Bette, who better to serve as a companion than her sister, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth as Bette’s sister makes a lot of sense. We know that Zepheniah ends up partitioning his assets off to her, and it sounds like Elizabeth ends up getting the biggest inheritance out of the recipients. Redmond and Blutarch are idiots, sure, but at the very least Zeph could have left his inheritance to Barnabus if he was that worried about things. After all, Barnabus did manage to run Mann Co. fairly successfully after buying the Brothers’ coal mine. Giving the bulk of his Legacy to a random maidservant makes a lot more sense if that maidservant is actually his dead wife’s sister.

So after Bette’s death, Elizabeth stays on in Zeph’s service, probably as a favor to her sister and her nephews. Then Zeph dies, and Elizabeth is left with a fairly substantial fortune, as well as a cache of Australium that her brother-in-law entrusted to her to keep away from his son.

Elizabeth could have walked away from the Mann Family Drama at any point, but out of loyalty to her sister, she ends up overseeing the conflict between Redmond and Blutarch in order to keep her idiot nephews alive.

And then Elizabeth dies.

So wait, what’s all this shit about genealogy?

Helen’s statement that she’s been stockpiling Australium for 150 years as of the late 1960s suggests that Helen has been alive since around the 1820s, coincidentally close to when the Mann Triplets were born, but the timeline here doesn’t really make sense.

Elizabeth looks to be in her 40s to 60s around 1850, and we know that smoking and age contribute heavily to infertility. Emily looks to be roughly the same age range in 1890, and Helen (who cheated) looks to be roughly the same age in 1970.

Here’s where I’m going to take a guess and say that Elizabeth is 100% dead, and that the old woman we see in the Naked and the Dead is actually her granddaughter Helen.

But in true fashion, I’m gonna go on a tangent to do it.

When Cheavy gets Grey’s LEM ripped out of him at the end of The Naked and the Dead, he looks old. Like, unreasonably old.

According to the Catch-Up comic, the TFC mercs were hired in 1930, and they look to be around their 20s to 40s by this time.

So if we guess on that, and say that Cheavy was born in 1890, he looks great for being 82 in 1972, which is to be expected for a man of his physique. Arnold Schwarzenegger was born in 1947, and he also looks great for being 69 years old.

So why does Cheavy go from looking like the picture of health to Ebenezer Scrooge not five minutes later? Australium withdrawal.

Australium is pretty special. Regular exposure to the stuff can extend your life and increase your vitality, and enough of it can reverse your aging entirely.

We know from Blood in the Water that Australium withdrawal is an actual thing, and that Australians who aren’t exposed to it become pretty normal. The reason the Australian soldiers don’t look like they belong in the grave is because they actually are in the peak of their lives, and aren’t keeping anything at bay by being exposed to Australium.

Cheavy, on the other hand, is basically coming back from the dead to fight Heavy. The Australium is the only thing keeping him alive after Heavy did quite a number on him.

Helen is the second person we’ve seen using Australium to sustain her youth and vitality, and the Australium is definitely taking a toll on her. When it isn’t being used to keep her looking young, she looks every bit the old crone she should be.

So coming out of that tangent with all this information, there’s just no way Elizabeth and Helen can be the same person, and that Elizabeth is 100% dead.

Elizabeth looks to be in her 50s by 1850, and would be at least 94 by the time the third LEM is built. Factoring in all of the smoking, Elizabeth’s body would probably about as healthy as a 150 year old’s by 1895. Even if Radigan could build the LEM in time to deliver to Elizabeth, Australium isn’t meant to prolong life. Helen, a woman who looks to be either 100 years old, or on the wrong side of 80, is able to punch a solid glass window and then shrug it off.

Speaking of the timeframe, Dell keeps making improvements to the LEMs, making 4 different models in total between 1968 and 1972, each more efficient than the last. When we get to the Mark 4, Dell replaces it with a more efficient model, ostensibly because the supply of Australium is slowly running out.

But I don’t think that’s the only reason. After all, there isn't that much improvement between the two, so why bother?

I think that the more you try and prolong your life, the harder it gets to rejuvenate your body, and the more Australium you need to do so. Australium exposure clearly screws with your biology in a massive way, and a 94 year old Elizabeth would be lucky to even survive the surgery necessary to install a LEM, let alone use it for 150 years.

So if Elizabeth is definitely dead before Radigan even builds the LEMs, we need to figure out the time-frame for the three generations of Administrators.

Guesstimating, we can assume that Elizabeth was born around the same time as Zepheniah Mann, probably around 1800. Even if Elizabeth became pregnant with Emily as late as 1850, that would make Emily around 40 years old in 1890, and anywhere from 45-50 when the third LEM is commissioned.

If Elizabeth is definitely dead sometime before or around 1880, that would give Emily the decade she needs to “acquire” her Australium without having to dip into her inheritance.

The third LEM then, is built for Emily.

So if Elizabeth is born around 1800, and Emily is born around 1850, the next logical leap is that Helen is then born around 1900. That’d make sense, as Helen would be in her 60s-70s as of 1972, but she definitely doesn’t look that way.

The answer lies in Australium withdrawal. If we assume that Emily and Helen are different people, and that Elizabeth lived until her 80s, Emily most likely voluntarily died around 1940 after a half-century of watching over the Mann Brothers and not wanting to deal with their shit anymore after a century of life. We’ll give her an extra decade for good luck, giving Helen possession of the LEM and her inheritance around 1950.

Even if Helen didn’t start using the LEM until 1968, that’s still 4 years for her to be constantly exposed to Australium, and if she uses it to reverse her aging just a small amount, she’d probably end up feeling the effects of 6-8 years of exposure.

Going back to the timeline, Elizabeth is dead by 1880, and Emily steps in to fill her mothers shoes, when Blutarch decides he wants to live forever.

Emily then contracts Radigan Conagher to build three Life Extender Machines for her and the Brothers. Radigan dies, and Blutarch takes possession of Radigan’s notes, but can’t do anything with them.

Emily lives through the Second World War, and then decides to pass the torch to her daughter, Helen.

Helen takes over TF Industries, and hires Dell Conagher in 1965. To keep the stalemate going, she hires 8 other Mercs plus Dell and assigns them to fight in the Brothers endless war, probably against other merc teams.

Then Grey Mann resurfaces after nearly 125 years, claiming Mann Co. and killing his brothers for being idiots.

At this point, Helen’s failed her grandmother and grandaunt. Bette Darling’s sons are dead, ironically killed by their own brother. The only duty Helen has left is to continue her grandmother’s job of protecting Zepheniah’s Australium from Grey, and she does a damn good job of it.

Enter the Darlings.

In Unhappy Returns, Saxton’s clearly at a low point, willing to deal with his old rival in order to get his company back, and Charles only wants one thing in return, Australium.

But how does Charles FUCKING Darling know about Australium?

Charles and Helen apparently have history, since Darling clearly knows more about what the Administrator actuallydoes than seemingly anyone else connected to the Mann Brothers and the Gravel Wars.

We know from Bidwell’s Big Plan that Charles Darling and Helen not only have history, but that the two don’t like each other.

If Bette Darling was really friendly, and the Administrators are at the very least, capable of expressing emotions, Charles Darling is at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Charles Darling, by all accounts, is fairly sadistic. We see in Unhappy Returns that Darling plans to gather every animal on Earth and put them in a zoo. Oh yeah, and he makes nearly extinct animals stand on boxes in a wall all day. For fun.

The man is also arrogant, too. The next time we see him after his introduction, he’s standing in his rather large manor, reading a book he published with his face prominently displayed on the back, standing underneath an incredibly large portrait of himself, which he helpfully labelled with a golden plaque bearing his name. Did I mention this is his own house?

Charles explains that he wants Australium to keep his animals alive forever, and Saxton seems rather fine with this. After all, he’s got 200,000 pounds of the stuff back at Mann Co., what’s a few thousand pounds here or there? Darling tells Saxton that all of the Australium is gone, and that the Administrator was the one who took it, questioning what the purpose of doing so is.

Except, there’s no reason Charles should know what the Administrator’s been up to, let alone the existence of Australium at all.

Darling isn’t Australian, he isn’t part of the Mann Family, and he’s wealthy enough in his own right that he presumably doesn't need Australium, so what’s the point of gathering it?

Grey Mann tells us that whatever Miss Pauling thinks he was going to do once he had beaten the Administrator, she’s right. He then goes on to say that what the Administrator’s planning on doing is worse. That still leaves Darling, though. If Helen can hire Miss Pauling and Dell Conagher to work for her and have them apparently be fine with what Helen’s doing, can it really be that bad?

Back to the point, in Pyromania we get a hint of who Helen is, and what she’s capable of.

Not only is Helen clearly capable of blatantly stealing the entire United States Australium supply, she goes before the United States Senate and basically ignores them, until we get to the really juicy bit, after which she simply excuses herself.

Speaking of the juicy bit, we don’t learn much from it. Piecing all of the lore together, we learn the opening sentence, and that’s about it.

Very well. For one hundred-fifty years I have been stockpiling Australium to… Helen reveals that she’s trying to prevent something, in order to do something, and her plan involves eighteen perfect idiots.

We know that she’s carrying out her plan in order to fulfill her old debt, and that at the very least her plan involves the nine mercs, but that’s the best guess we can make. Given how in the comics, there are only nine Fortress mercenaries, we still need nine more perfect idiots.

In this scenario, there’s still no indication of what the plan is, but Charles Darling seems like he’s being set up as the main antagonist to our favorite chain-smoking protagonist, by virtue of being the only contender left.

Redmond, Blutarch, and Grey are all dead, meaning that Helen has no obligation to keep the Brothers alive, or defend the Australium from Grey, and the only thing Saxton seems to care about is being able to fight things, leaving only Charles Darling. Oh, and Olivia.

Olivia, in her first appearance, looks remarkably similar to Helen as a child. Olivia is presented to us as Grey’s daughter, but I don’t think that’s true, given how Grey is nearly a hundred and fifty years old by then. What makes a lot more sense is that Olivia is Charles’ daughter.

Grey and Charles could easily set up an alliance of convenience, at least until their mutual enemy Helen is out of the way. Charles could allow Grey to use his daughter to win control of Mann Co., and Grey could allow Charles to take control of some Australium.

Of course, this would break down when the two would have to split the world between themselves, but given that Grey is dead, the point is moot. Grey’s death also leaves Olivia and Charles in a really great position. Olivia, as the supposed daughter of Grey Mann, would inherit Mann Co. with Grey’s death. If Charles really is Olivia’s father, the main Darling branch is well on their way to inheriting all of the Mann Legacy.

Helen, as the granddaughter of Elizabeth Darling, who is the sister of Bette Darling, is a relative of Bette.

By 1971, Helen controls both the original third of Zepheniah’s Legacy that was partitioned to Elizabeth, as well the third shared between Redmond and Blutarch under TF Industries, since Grey seemingly has no interest in the worthless gravel pits, leaving only the Hale’s third independent under Saxton.

If Elizabeth really is Bette’s sister, and Helen is Elizabeth’s granddaughter, this means that two-thirds of the Mann Family Legacy is under the control of the Administrator’s branch of the Darling Family.

If Helen is a Darling, she’s the only one standing in the way of Charles inheriting the entire Mann Estate, and apparently control of the entire planet’s governments under RED and BLU, respectively. To keep the Mann Family Legacy (and the world) out of the hands of the Darlings, I believe that Helen is going off to confront Charles Darling, and presumably kill him and Olivia.

With Charles and Olivia dead, the Mann Legacy would be entirely reunited under Helen, at least until she gives Saxton his company back. Mann Co. can continue on as just a regular company, and Helen’s death will finally bring an end to the Gravel Wars.

TL;DR / RECAP;

Zepheniah Mann married Bette Darling, died, and gave his Estate and Australium to his wife’s sister, Elizabeth Darling.

Elizabeth, her daughter Emily, and her granddaughter Helen have spent the last century repaying Bette and Zepheniah by financially supporting Redmond and Blutarch, keeping them alive, and keeping Zepheniah’s Australium out of the hands of Grey Mann.

Grey killed Redmond and Blutarch, and allied with Charles Darling and his daughter Olivia to take control of Mann Co.

Originally, Helen planned to simply outlive Charles, outwit Grey, and keep the Brothers alive indefinitely, but Blutarch hiring Dell to fix his life-extending machine caused her to include Dell in her plans. The arrival of Grey and murder of Redmond and Blutarch, disrupted these plans, and forced Helen to have to devote all of her resources to keeping the Australium out of Grey’s hands.

With Grey and the Darlings working together to bring her down, Helen is overwhelmed, and has to flee to a remote location, bringing Engineer along to keep her alive until she can defeat Grey and the Darlings.

Grey ends up ironically being killed by his own employees, so control of Mann Co. passes to his “daughter” Olivia, giving the Darlings control over one-third of the Mann Legacy.

Helen, having failed to keep the Mann Brothers alive, succeeds through a pyrrhic victory in keeping Zepheniah’s Australium out of Grey’s hands.

On her deathbed due to the worldwide exhaustion of Australium, only Helen stands in the way of Charles Darling inheriting the entire three parts of the Mann Legacy, as well as control over the entire world with the resources of TF Industries.

In order to finally bring the conflict started in 1850 to a close, Helen has to use her considerable resources to kill Charles and Olivia before she herself dies at the end of Issue #7.

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