#THEIR STORY IS BACK BABY WOOOOOOOO

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Attack on Titan S3

Against my better judgment, I am compelled to finish this show

What a change of pace this intro with childhood scenes and soft light is, I’m sure the show itself will not at all match this tone

“We can discuss your utter failure at a later date.” Me to myself about doing my laundry 

“The sweet little Christa you thought you knew, well, that girl isn’t me anymore.” “Good. I didn’t really like her.” Eren, tactful as ever

I kind of love it when Hange threatens people, it’s her way of showing she cares

“They’re bringing this fight out into the open.” Ah yes, the familiar anime struggle of The Good Military vs the Bad Military

Erwin and Levi sure instill a very high level of confidence, they’re like constantly like, ‘Run into danger!’ and everyone just goes, ‘If you say so!!’

Who are these new cowboys come to chase down the Scout Regiment

“King Fritz has heard of the hardships in Trost.” It feels like maybe there should’ve been a communication from King Fritz somewhere in the past 38 episodes, considering the population of people he rules has been decreasing exponentially for five years

“Arm--I mean Christa and Eren!” I knew Armin’s similarity to Historia had to be a plot point lmaooooo I won’t lie the haircut looks better on her

“He’s... getting pawed at.” I wish edgy anime would stop making me watch people get SA’d ugh poor Armin

Rest in pieces Nifa, only named so that the viewer can note her death

“I lived with [Kenny the Ripper], back when I was a kid.” No one in this entire show is allowed to have a good dad but Levi wins this round of the shitty parent competition 

Well this is more human-on-human violence than we’ve seen before*

*Depending on what you think of the Titans

“What the hell is that?” Once again, Jean is the only one to have the appropriate reaction ghjkghg Mikasa’s just like ‘Guess we’re killing people now!’ but I guess in fairness she’s killed before

If Jean dies bc he doesn’t like murder I’m gonna be SO MAD

“Was it like this for you?” asked Armin, knowing full well that Eren and Mikasa have been irreparably out of their minds since the age of nine

While I am glad Jean is not dead, yikes for Baby’s First Murder

“And now that your hands have been soaked in blood, the person you once were is gone for good.” Levi acknowledging the psychological repercussions of murder in a way that Mikasa has far too much unprocessed trauma to do 

“Who the hell tortures someone without asking questions?” LEVIIIIIIIII WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUU

I mean, it makes way more sense that the Reiss family is the royal family, considering that King Fritz has had little to no impact on the story thus far

Levi’s last name being Ackermann is the one thing I DID know about this show but !!!!! I am interested to learn how he is related to Mikasa; brother seems too old but uncle too young?? We’ll see 

“‘If I only I wasn’t such a coward, I could’ve killed it.’ Those were the first words my mother said to me.” Historia throwing her hat in the ring for the Shitty Parent Competition 

“The blood of the king runs through your veins.” I see what u did there, romantic parallels!! 

Are we finally going to learn what exactly causes Titans

I won’t lie when they said they were going to eat Eren I thought it might be in a more literal sense 

“I have a plan to retake Wall Maria, and to depose the government” Erwin you’re shitting me why does no one in this show WHISPER their plans to topple their societal structure

“The Scouts are in your hands.” GO HANGE WOOOOOOOO

“He was killed by human greed, and by the sheer stupidity of his own son.” Gkjhgkhg harsh way to self-reflect but fair enough Erwin

Oh hey it’s Marlo and Hitch, is the Levi Squad finally gonna make some new friends?

“Annie’s been missing ever since.” I guess no one told Hitch her roommate was a Titan kjghkjghkgjh

“Not everyone has the same disregard for their life as you.” Also a very fair point Flegel

LMAO @ Zoe “Defeat is the only thing the Scout Regiment has ever known” Hange, really working on morale on her first day as Commander

Hahahaha aw Jean IS making friends with Marlo and Hitch good for him

“Every last one of us is a witness,” YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE LOVE COLLECTIVE ACTION AGAINST DESPOTISM GO HANGE, MOBLIT AND FLEGEL!!

“Kenny Ackermann doesn’t like to make his business known.” HELLO?? HOW MANY OF THEM ARE ACKERMANNS

I am caught between the hell yeah of coup vs the knowledge that military dictatorships are destined for failure and bloodshed

Update: It seems Erwin is having this same argument with himself

“Looks like Erwin’s gamble paid off,” it is far too early in the season to be declaring victory, there are still like 17 more episodes

“I honestly couldn’t care less about this coup of ours ends up affecting the fate of humanity.” Premier Zachary, what’s wrong with you!!! 

Is the royal family the first of the Were-Titans? Master Were-Titans?? If so, why do other ppl keep receiving Titan injections like some kind of Booster Shot from Hell

I would also like to know who Eren ate, Armin (I hope it’s not his dad)

Update to my last two points from 3 minutes later: Well fuck 

Ghjghgjh Freida really just giving her sister her only happy memories and taking it away the Reiss family really said gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

“Grisha ate her.” COME AGAIN, THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Levi said: Murdering is the Ackermann kekkei genkai, actually 

We are delving further into magic territory with every passing minute 

So Kenny is really Uncle Kenny the Ripper, but apparently had no interest in telling Levi that?? On a scale of Levi to Eren how neglectful was the man who raised you 

Why do the Ackermanns get a name but Mikasa’s mum’s family is simply ‘the Eastern clan’ imagine if I called my friends ‘Qiwei and the Whites’

As a sidenote: I guess Levi and Mikasa’s relation is distant?

“Would you like the chance to meet her again?” “Yes!” I don’t think Historia would be as willing to do this if you told her the cost would be eating Eren 

Ah, so this is going to be a mission where every single cadet experiences Baby’s First Human-on-Human Murder

I don’t think Hange is dead, she is important enough that she’d have a Hannes-esque goodbye 

“You keep on talking shit about Uri, and you can kiss this half of your head goodbye.” Uncle Uri the Cannibalized was Uncle Kenny’s bf or bff??? These family trees get more complex with each episode

“If [eating Eren]’s my duty, then that’s what I’ll do,” Colour me wrong; that’s not very girlboss of u Historia 

“I’m the only man you can trust,” Conversely, v gaslight of Papa Reiss

Good for Kenny for giving Eren a fair fight, at least 

Eren said: Cannibalism is fair if it’s based on generational sin

“I’m done with your shit! And I’m not going to let you murder me!” YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HISTORIAAAAAAA

“I really hate that I do this to you all the time,” is genuinely (sadly) the nicest thing an adult has ever said to Eren, l nominate Levi for Eren’s New Surrogate Dad 

It tickles me every time Levi refers to something as ‘big ass’ it’s fun

“Your cellar? I’d forgot all about that. You mean it’s actually important now?” Gfdghkdfhgk what a fourth-wall break

“But it’s time for me and him to part ways now,” said Historia, realizing that daddy issues are not good enough reason to endorse cannibalism and theocracy

“Once you’re Queen, you can punch that smug runt right in the face.” Ghjghjgh is that for Levi? What’d he do to you, Mikasa, aside from calling you out for having an Eren Complex

Isn’t sacrificing the general population to Titans the EXACT reason the Garrison Guards turned against the false monarchy, why would they do it just cause Erwin says so gkjhkghkgh

Update: They’re gonna do it just cause Erwin said so

Eren as much as I get it, it’s not the time for ur self-esteem issues

WOOOOOOO TEAMWORK!!! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THE SCOUT REGIMENT’S PLAN HAS ACTUALLY WORKED

“My name is Historia Reiss, and I am your rightful queen!” U GO HISTORIA, QUEEN OF TITANS, KILLER OF SHITTY DADS

Are we going to get Levi’s backstory now? That’s nice, I vaguely recall watching an OVA about it in 2017 but I have forgot most of it tbh

I now realize Rod Reiss’s VA is also Danzo; u know what? Fitting

“When he bowed, that rattled somethin’ inside me like nothing ever had before,” [Brokeback Mountain intro plays]

“I’m Kenny. That’s my only name,” said Kenny, starting his new uncledom immediately on a lie

“I wasn’t about to step in as a parent either,” said Kenny, also lying

Something I haven’t mentioned that distracts me whenever I have the captions on is that they’ve numbered the extras jghkjghkgjh 

“I believe in the miracle that happened between us.” We are leaning into the Uncle Romance; Kenny x Uri 4ever

Ohhhhh Levi didn’t know about being an Ackermann or who his dad was, so I guess Kenny being his dad in his mind was a logical conclusion (which, for the purposes of who raised you, yeah, he’s your dad!)

“I just wasn’t cut out to be somebody’s dad,” TOLD YOU!!

Vgdhkshksjdg I don’t really remember what Levi said to Historia for everyone to want her to hit him so bad

Update: There was no reason, they were just Team Hit Levi 

Aww that’s so cute, this is the first time I can remember Levi laughing 

Big yikes @ Blond Furry Scientist Titan Who Seems To Be Erwin’s Dad, must everyone’s father be a Titan??? Seems like yes

Was Shadis in love with Eren’s mom??? Oh no, Snape Energy 

They couldn’t possibly have known this when this series came out, but Grisha pulling down his mask to offer reassurance during Plague Times is not a good look lmaooooo 

YIKES, EXTREME SNAPE ENERGY! Shadis I don’t love this for you:

“They can’t even comprehend greatness! Not even when it’s right in front of them! So a girl who flirts with every man in sight, one who’s good or absolutely nothing aside from keeping people’s drinks full, could never--” [Chester See voice] 🎶 Nice guys finish last, that’s why I’ll treat you like trash 🎶

“Why not avenge Carla yourself?” incredibly fair point, Shiganshina Snape

Keith Shadis said: But Grisha told me I wasn’t like other girls :’(

“I think Eren’s special enough already, for no other reason than that he was born into this world.” Mama Jaeger is the only good biological parent

Levi said: Nooo don’t kill urself Erwin <3 Ur brain’s so huge aha 

“It’s hard to believe that it’s only been four months.” No wonder all the new Scout recruits can’t understand how fucked up these teenagers are

Jean’s so excited to fight Eren again jfhkjhkj it’s their love language

All of this bonding and Armin’s plight for the sea, this is some heartwarming ass shit

While we’re at the beginning of this new half season I would like to note that Erwin is inhabiting what I like to call the ‘sensei death spot’ of anime intros, and it’s not comforting 

Eren has replaced his Teen Murder Craze with a Chosen One Complex

“As of now, you will obey Armin Arlert’s commands.” Move over Levi, there’s a new Small Captain in town 

In fairness to Levi’s inability to kill Reiner, I suppose no one has really been trying to kill an Intelligent Titan while they were in human form

But 4 real how is this Furry Titan just summoning Titans out of nowhere?? Were they very recently ppl or???  

“These kids are gonna drop like flies. Shoulda left ‘em up there.” Once again, Levi is the only adult acknowledging the burdens (and death sentence) they are unleashing upon teenagers

“Before I die, I’d like to see it. The truth of our world,” said Erwin, in what was probably foreshadowing of him definitely not learning anything of importance before he dies

“Your new weapon is a big metal rod?” “It’s pointy, dumbass, that makes it a spear.” Point to whomever wrote this dialogue, it was very funny

“Guess it’s onto Plan B,” if Plan B is that Reiner has been holding Bertholdt in his mouth this whole time I s2g 

Honestly, despite the fact Reiner has done arguably the most damage, I feel similarly to the kids, I would rather they not have to kill their friend

THEY KILLED MARCO?? LIKE I KINDA SUSPECTED IT, BUT FUCK THESE GUYS. NEVER MIND!! KILL HIM, CADETS

“Everything you just heard was... a joke,” said Reiner, because he and Bertholdt have never whispered in their fucking lives

“Why is Marco... being devoured?” YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET SYMPATHY FOR A PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAK OVER A MURDER YOU YOURSELF ORCHESTRATED, REINER 

How can Reiner “give up his armour to another warrior?” Like I know you can apparently eat magical skills out of Titans but I kind of thought the armour was just specific to Reiner’s form, like a Titan’s height 

Now that we’re getting closer shots of the Furry Titan AKA War Chief Zeke, he looks less like Erwin and more like Annie but maybe I’m just assuming all blonds in this show are related

“He must have transferred his consciousness throughout his entire nervous system,” said Bertholdt, like the brain that had just been blown off of Reiner wasn’t a pretty important part of that system 

“If I agree to talk, would you all be willing to lay down and die?” Looks like Armin brought negotiation skills to a serial killer fight

“You’ll always be my dear comrades, right up until I’ve killed you.” GET SOME THERAPY BERTHOLDT 

“No one’s in the wrong here.” IDK BERTHOLDT, SO FAR IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY IN THE WRONG

Holding out hope for Hange, significant characters get significant deaths!!!

In classic anime fashion, it is once again up to a bunch of teenagers to determine the fate of the world 

Jean really said: Ha, nice try Armin, I’ve been begrudging and panicking over leadership roles for longer than you!!!!

As a sidenote, Armin and Jean would make great co-leaders; Jean’s got the speed, sympathy and confidence to keep troops moving, while Armin’s got the intellect and empathy to understand their enemies’ motives and plans 

“Our remaining forces on this side of the gate consist of the new Scout recruits, Captain Levi, and me.” So teens really are responsible for the future of the world on both fronts 

“Tell me. Is there any way we can fight back?” “I don’t know.” Armin and Eren take turns having existential dread in times of crisis

I thought for a second Levi was going to kick Erwin for admitting that all of his decisions were about being proven right instead of, you know, the lives of the people he led or humanity in general

I do not imagine Levi will actually slay the Furry Titan, but I do think he’ll come out of this season Very, Very Traumatized (like world-shatteringly so)

I don’t think Erwin actually told any “blatant lies,” as he said he would, he mostly just yelled about soldiers’ death having meaning, which like, that’s a personal opinion

“And in the end, all of them will go to their deaths,” said Zeke, like he had nothing to do with it, and wasn’t throwing rocks to decapitate them that very minute

“I made a promise to Erwin!” Levi inches closer to a psychological breakdown every second and I do not blame him

“You had me thinking we were all going to die here.“ In fairness, Jean, I’m thinking there’s at least one major character death left (since we did not see Hange or Erwin die as such)

“If this plan goes the way I’m hoping it will, well, I won’t get to visit the sea.” DON’T KILL ARMIN HE’S SO LITTLE

I should’ve expected Reiner to be bald bc his head was blown off but it still took me by surprise 

Armin has said, “I’ve never exactly been a hero,” and “Have I ever lied to you?” in the span of less than thirty seconds, so baby boy’s definitely gonna die (rest in pieces)

Bertholdt raises an interesting question about whether a Titan brain gets concussed

I can’t believe Armin was literally burned to death. Jesus. The fuck. 

“You’re wrong. I’m not losing. Because I don’t run.“ With no exaggeration, I am in tears and nauseous. I KNEW he was going to die. But fuck!!!

Also, setting aside how incredibly upsetting everything else that’s been going on was, I knew Hange was still alive. My rule of thumb holds true

“I know how you feel,” said Zeke to Eren, as if Eren had not literally just seen his best friend’s crispy remains from being BURNED TO DEATH BY BERTHOLDT AT ZEKE’S BEHEST

Sidenote: I am wondering if Zeke is Eren’s half-brother now?? He’s gotta be someone’s relative and Titans can live for decades 

“We’ll be able to bring back one of our soldiers from the brink of death.” So is Mikasa and Eren’s confrontation with Levi going to be a “Save Armin or Erwin” face-off

Update from four minutes later: It’s exactly that (save Armin!!! He’s little!!!!)

I don’t know if they realize the stakes of this choice, but I believe Eren (and probably Mikasa) will absolutely defect if Levi chooses not to revive Armin 

Well, unfortunate for Armin to experience cannibalism but I guess he’s experienced every other form of trauma at this point 

“And in the end, when he had been finally been set free from this hell, we were about to bring him back for more. But I think.. it’s time we let him rest.” This resolution makes the most sense, I think

Speaking of trauma, I guess I’m 50% less traumatized after this ep

“But of the Scout Regiment, there are only nine soldiers left alive. The nine of us.” Seven teens and two adults what kind of Fucked-Up Brady Bunch is this 

“And especially don’t regret [the choice to revive you] yourself. Consider that your new mission.” Levi once again the best shitty surrogate dad he can be 

Imagine after all of this there’s nothing in particular importance in the cellar lmao there’s really no guarantee of it

Also, while we’re talking plot points, I would like to know about those flowers that Eren somehow left behind during his Titan transformation that one time and then it was never brought up again

Actually, twice! Once in Trost, and once when Hannes died. But they only mentioned it once 

“Beyond the walls, countless humans live in comfortable refinement.” and like, what, they’re like, ‘It sucks about that one country ravaged by giant cannibals #PrayForWallNation’??????????

“You can’t go outside without your armbands.” UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what exactly are we doing here

They’re super fucking leaning into this WWII shit I am perturbed 

“Marley brought seven of the Nine Titans under its control, and used them to win the great Titan War just 80 years ago.” So what, Reiner and Annie Hunger Games the shit out of the “island of Paradis” then they get to go back to the mainland????? What??????

Also, speaking of, the fact that there are only Nine Intelligent Titans and we’ve only seen (up to) seven so far (Eren, Armin who took it from Bertholdt, Reiner, Annie, Zeke, Quadruped, Possibly Ymir unless Q took it)... who are the other two!!!

“But to those who have been victimized for generations, you and I are devils nonetheless.” Eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate everything about what’s happening right now 

“The next year, the two of us married and were blessed with a son. His name was Zeke.” Called it

Well, this show just gets consistently more fucked up as it goes, but yeah, you can’t expect a five-year-old to become your world’s new saviour 

“That Titan, it was you. Poor Dina.“ The weird implication that Grisha’s first wife ate his second wife????

I’m having trouble taking all of this in. I miss when Titans were just weird unexplained giants and not the victims of ethn!c cleansing  

“Yes my name’s Eren Kruger.“ Let me get this straight, Grisha named his son after THIS MAN? The one who, one minute later, admits to turning a bunch of his fellow people into Titans???????? GRISHA WHY

“I was a bad husband, a worthless father, and an imbecilic man.” Hey now Grisha, don’t worry, you continue to be those things

“Anyone who inherits the power of one of the Nine will perish 13 years later.” So Grisha doomed his son to a lifespan of 23????? GUESS YOUR PARENTING HASN’T IMPROVED

“It’s called the Attack Titan.“ 58 episodes in and we get a title reference 

“Let it go, Hange. He’s fifteen years old, we all go through a phase like this.” “A phase where we mutter weird crap while posing?” I’m willing to bet that Levi went through exactly that phase

Since Ymir is the only person we’ve seen to explicitly be gay, is there gay marriage in Titan Hell Island??????? You’d think, but who knows

Well, Historia is in love with Ymir too, so if there wasn’t, there will be

Also, not lost on me that Historia fell in love with a person who took the name of the Founding Titan

“That’s rather unfortunate, but he is at that age.” Sfsfkjkhfkjfh everyone just agreeing that Eren’s Paternity-TSD flashbacks are just a part of him being 15

Good for Eren for not putting Historia in a position to be experimented on

“Complete your mission, and save Mikasa and Armin.” “Mikasa? Armin? Who are they?” “I don’t know, they aren’t from my memories.” PARDON??? EREN FLASHBACK OR KRUGER FLASH FORWARD?

While I don’t blame Floch for being angry, it’s not Armin’s fault he’s alive

I can also understand why none of them really want to kill a Titan ever again if they can help it

As bittersweet as this moment is, I’m glad the Scouts get to see the sea

[solastia]

Day 22

Faith, Namjoon x Reader, 8/8 Chapters, 31k words

After trying to squeeze everything for Beneath the Surface, I think I’m going to split this one into two days. So...today we will be squealing about the first four chapters. Buckle up Buttercup, this about to be a whole damn emotional rollercoaster!

I think it was this story that cemented in me just how much I love your writing style. I love going through it with a story, but please give me a happy ending. I get too emotionally involved and invested in these characters and having a sad or open ended final chapter is too much for me! Give me the warm and fuzzy feels in the end! You really like to give us satisfying stories and happy endings. I was once deeply invested in a Harry Potter fanfic and it ended up having a tragic ending and I swear to Bob, it scarred me! We have enough sadness irl, give me the fairytale!!!

So, in this story, our MC falls in love with Namjoon, who is an underground rapper. You see how you ground the story for the fans? This could have really happened, or maybe it did...wait. Thinking about it now, we’ve all heard the theories that Joon is secretly married with kids. GURL, DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T??? Ok, ok, ok, moving on.

“You weren’t going to leave before your brother even got to the stage.

You MIGHT get kicked out before then though, you thought to yourself, glaring as another random hand smacked your ass as they walked past you.”

AGAIN, you always make your female MCs feisty and I am here for it!!! I know these are reader inserts, but I rarely ever see myself in them, if that makes sense? I still form a mental image of these main characters and I love how you are able to flesh them out so well without giving in depth descriptions (which is not ideal for reader insert fics, you know?) And I love that they stand up for themselves, no doormats here!

“You look up to find an incredibly handsome, and very tall, guy looking down at you, dimples on full display. He was dressed in all black. From the black skinny jeans that encased his long legs, to his black snapback on top of his bleached blonde hair.”

LAAAAWWWDD!!! I have a very clear memory of the rap line doing Cypher Part 1. Hobi looking like he was prepping for Mic Drop with his fit, Yoongi was blond, snapback, ripped jeans, bomber jacket, and his Straigh Outta Daegu attitude. And Joon...he had that undercut, kinda silvery blond hair, a simple beige t shirt, and black shorts. THAT’S THE JOONIE I PICTURE IN THIS FIC!!

“And your rap name is?”...

“It’s Rap monster.”

“Huh. Well, it’s not the WORST I’ve heard. Remember Llama guy? His name was MC McGriddle. I finally convinced him that it would be in his best interests to change his name. He finally did. Now he’s Hilbo Haggins. I don’t think he understands the concept of copyrights.” You smiled over at him.”

HILBO HAGGINS!! I am literally in tears. And is that Hobi??? Is it? Cuz if it is I will hereby stop calling him Hobert and refer to him only as Hilbo! Wait no...Hilbo reminds me of Himbo. Who is the biggest Himbo rapper I know, hmmmm…..OFC, MATTHEW! The big tiddy man himself. Ok, new theory. Hilbo is BM from Kard, and no, you cannot convince me it is not Matthew!

The first time between Joon and our girl is so damn hot and tender at the same time. Joonie is, of course, the perfect gentleman, invested in our girl’s pleasure just as much as his. And then…

“I can hear you overthinking.” He chuckles into your hair. He leans back and tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“So what’s it going to be? Am I staying the night or do you want me to leave?”

You look at him shyly, and bury your face into his chest, mumbling, “Stay…please.”

“Good, because we obviously really like each other, and I wasn’t ready to leave. Give me twenty minutes to rehydrate and we’re going for round two.”

“I’ll never survive!” You squeak out, as he laughs and picks you up, carrying you to the kitchen.

AAHHHH!!!

“You watch the rise and fall of his chest, letting your mind ponder the situation you’ve found yourself in as you drift off to sleep. The only conclusion your exhausted mind can reach is faith. It’s time to let yourself believe in someone. You’re probably an idiot for it, but you’re going to put your faith in this man named Namjoon.”

This is incredibly romantic and scary at the same time. Putting your faith in someone, being vulnerable with someone, is so damn scary! It is a huge leap of faith. I can feel the angst coming!!!

The little snippets of them together in chapter 2 are so damn cute! I am on the verge of tears! When Joon calls himself a dad because she got a puppy, saying he wouldn't let her be a single parent, omg that was so cute!!! UUggh so fluffy.

And then...

WAIT

WAAAAIIITTTT

I just got it. The foreshadowing. Excuse me, I need to go cry in the corner for a bit, be back in three business days. This is like the tenth time I’ve read this story and I was today years old when I realized. It hurts, thanks! *finger guns*

Anyways, more cuteness please!! The peanut butter in the fridge, his apology, Joon befriending her brother, so freaking domestic. I cannot!!! And then, the emotional whiplash:

“You watch him over dinner, excitedly talking about his plans for the future (with a full mouth), and you slowly start to realize…you could never tell him. This was his chance. With his level of talent, you were sure he would be at the top in no time. You were going to have to set him free, so he could achieve his dreams, without worrying about you or what was soon to come.”

NO GURL NO!!! DON’T DO IT! TELL HIM OR I WILL. TELL HIMMMM!!!!

“Namjoon pulls off your shirt and expertly unhooks your bra (Heh)”

We, as a fandom, have decided to erase all memory of that particular song! Because we have deleted all information stored in our collective memory about that song, I do not understand this reference. Thanks! Lmao

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO NAME THE BABY FAITH??? So, my feelings don’t matter to you? My personal well being is not a priority for you? Noted. Not like I can do anything about it. What am I going to do, stop reading your stories? Bwahahaha that ain’t gonna happen. I guess I’m a masochist cuz here comes chapter 3…

Their reunion was freaking amazing. I thought he'd be mad or that his anger would turn into hate, but it seems our boi is even more in love with our MC than he was before. The looks across the room, toying with her fishnets, the flirting, the back and forth, the ride to Jack-in-the-Box. Talk about foreplay!!! And then the culmination inside the Jack-in-the-Box bathroom! Woooooooo! And she still hasn’t told him about the baby?!?!?

“If the two of you had gotten into a fight, Namjoon would drag you there to sit and talk things out.”

This is so spot on, Joonie would!

“Tell me what happened. Tell me why everything changed. Tell me why you didn’t want me anymore.” Namjoon whispers, his voice laced with pain.”

NO, NOPE, NOT TODAY SATAN. I CAN’T. I’M CRYING. I’M CURRENTLY SITTING IN MY CRYING CORNER ABSOLUTELY BAWLING!!

“You lose yourself in the familiar feel of his soft, plump lips moving tenderly against yours. If there was one thing that Kim Namjoon was better at than rapping, it was kissing. He always kissed you like he was worshipping you with his lips and he could happily do it forever.”

I feel this in my bones!!! Joonie would be the type to take his time too! And with those lips! Dayum…

I think I am done for today, my heart can’t take any more!!!

Tomorrow we will finish this story!

Now that I picture Matthew as that rapper, I can’t get it out of my head! Totally canon lmao. 

[nny11writes]

13, 16, 18, 43 and 50 for tha ask game please and thank you :P Just, many many numbers lol

13. What is your planning process?

My first reaction was to squint and go “Do I have a process?” which is probably an answer on its own lol!

It depends is the actual answer.

Like most writers I start a fic because of one scene or dialogue or description that I really, really, really wanted to write and then I have to figure out where it belongs.

I almost always start by just...writing. I used to be 100% stream of consciousness writer. I’d sit down at least once a day with a blank document and without ANY forethought or direction I’d start writing a fic. It was always as much fun for me as my readers to see where a story would go because I literally had no clue.

These days, as I’m putting THE THING down on the page my brain is shrieking ideas at me so I start slapping them down too, but I’ve got a better filter so not everything goes down. There’s a lot of [WHAT IS THIS THING PLS PLS FIGURE IT OUT] and [PAST OR PRESENT TENSE MF MAKE UP YO MIND] at this stage.

This is where I actually start planning. I’ve got a bunch of stuff down, a vague direction, and a lot of ideas so this is usually where I sit down to do some planning. Am I aiming to write a short fic or long fic, one shot or multi-chapter, where are we, how many characters, etc. I leave things pretty wide open, while sometimes it’s fun to challenge myself to meet very specific goals it’s usually frustrating to me so nothing is set in stone. Literally. Even when I’ve posted if someone leaves a comment that’s amazing or enough people liked it I’ll usually try to write more in that fic or another fic with those ideas.

How To Quit You is a great example of how my loosey goosey planning works. I don’t know if people realize but that fic was originally supposed to be ONLY that first chapter. I wrote it in an hour tops for 2019 glitra week and all I knew at that point was I wanted to do a western with some romance tropes to it (hence the exes who still love each other thing).

Once I realized how many people seemed to love it and wanted to see more I sat down and planned it out. I first decided how I wanted to write the story (hence going back in time ~15 years) and then I created chapter titles and had vague descriptions for them.  Once it was all down I went through it again and made adjustments, then created a timeline (Micah died in 1868, they meet in 1870, Catra works BMR rails 1870-1880 min, etc etc). And that’s it.  I made an outline and used it as my idea bouncing ground and map and huge parts of it have changed as we’ve gone along. Catra was going to become a drunkard out in [REDACTED] after the timeline met up with chapter one. I scrapped that because it didn’t fit with other details and changes I’d made. I re-wrote the chapter and now I gotta scrap that and re-write it again do to reasons that would spoilers.

Let’s Try This Again is another hilarious example, because chapters 1-6 were meticulously planned and I charted out a whole story around them that I was going to stick to damn it all! And then Palpatine hip checked me and changed the course of the story. I still included a lot from my original VERY detailed outline, but some chapters were nixed completely and others added in too sooooo...

I’m not a true pantser because I do some planning, but I’m not a planner because I leave huge chucks practically up to the whims of fate. I’m a plantser.

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

Sometimes! 

I think some of my best works are from prompts (WHICH ARE ALWAYS OPEN, HINT HINT, NUDGE NUDGE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN KNOW WHAT I MEAN) specifically.

I rarely use sentence starters but I think I’ve done okay when I did.

But fandom headcanons? Oh hell yeah baby now we’re talking!

Can Anakin cook but Padme can’t? Hell yeah!

Togruta have some cat like features so Ahsoka is obligate carnivore and color blind? WOOOOOOOO BOYYYYYYYYYYYY!

"This is not because I like you.” is 100% something that everyone in the Horde says when trying to cover their asses, Catra’s just a useless lesbian and has to use it A Lot More Than Most. Awwwwww yeah, that’s the good stuff!

Glimmer and Catra talk to one another but only have serious conversations sitting back to back post canon. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES!

Like, god, fandom headcanon is practically what my fics live on lol! I’m not great at writing things in canon or sticking to canon, and people are amazing and smart so of course I’m going to steal their cool ideas and then mess with them until they’re my own.

18. What is your favorite writing prompt?

...I gotta be honest I have no clue lol. I’ve liked basically every prompt I’ve ever gotten (there’s literally only been 2 that I got and went “...oh.” and of those two I was able to bend the prompt into things I liked a lot! One of them is actually posted and people like it, and then other is currently sitting in the naughty prompt corner for crimes of FIGHTING ME TO A STANDSTILL every time I write a few sentences for it, but I do actually like it now lol).

I think my favorite style of prompt are ones that are open for some interpretation. You know that joke about you know a writer based on how they respond to a one word prompt like “fall” or “cold” or even “love”? I love that kind of stuff! Heck, even things with a more narrow focus are fun to play with. For one of my prompt fics I was able to flip the script and have the character everyone expects the unrequited pining from to instead be the unattainable beloved instead.

*Marge potato meme* I just think they’re neat!

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

None, because I am very loud about what I enjoy and refuse to have things I enjoy ripped away by strangers on the interwebs.

Okay, more seriously, as far as things that others might think are guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

I love a good “morons to repressed idiots to lovers” slow burn. Yes, yesssss, let them be absolute fools and make MASSIVE mistakes that they have no reason to make. There was a miscommunication? Delightful! Oh look, they’re both flirting with one another but think the other one is just joking around with them. I WILL TAKE ANOTHER 200K OF THEM SUFFERING THANK YOU!

I love AUs man, every time I see someone who really hates coffee shop AUs or highschool AUs or modern AUs I end up getting grumpy and I go find some of those AUs to read because I love them. The AUs I love the most change fandom to fandom. Not a huge fan of modern AU for star wars, but an absolute slut for them in She Ra. Palpatine chokes on a bagel and I live, but if that happened to Horde Prime I’d be pissed. *shrug* I just know that some people really don’t like or even outright hate AUs, and I do not understand them at all. Like, good for them and I hope they find the fics they do enjoy! But also, why???????

I think my “cringiest” one is that I actually really like A/B/O as long as they flip the script somehow or delve into how something like that would actually effect the world it exists in. Is sex in public a common and acceptable thing b/c they can’t control themselves? Do jobs and schools give people time off for heats and ruts? Is it considered antiquated and anyone who struggles with their biology is considered lazy or stupid? Do celebrities sometimes get in trouble with fans or even lose their jobs/prestige after showing off their new mating mark? GIVE ME THE WORLD BUILDING I WANT TO KNOW! But if it’s a really boring traditional A/B/O...like, what’s the point there? 

Please don’t misunderstand me here. These three examples are all things that are WILDLY stupid in their own rights, and I love them dearly both because of and regardless of that!

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

It’s All Fun and Games Until...Stop! Stop! We’re Already Gay!

AKA the one where they all go to Mystacor to relax in the steam grotto and have to deal with seeing one another in tight fitting and wet underwear. The thirst is high.

“So…” Bow started conversationally as Sea Hawk put the finishing touches on Bow’s freshly painted nails. “How doomed are they? Are we making bets?”

Mermista and Sea Hawk made significant eye contact before looking at him pitifully. 

“What?” Bow asked, starting to sweat nervously. “What!?”

“Nothing, just-” Sea Hawk didn’t even get to finish.

“You need to get your girlfriend to get her girlfriends under control, and like, I knooooow that’s a tall order or whatever. But uuuuuuuuugggggghhh, we are going to die.”

“Girlfriend!?” Bow’s voice cracked painfully. “Ha! A-ha! Ha! W-who? I don’t, I don’t have a girlfriend, what are you even talking about?”

“Uuuuuggggggghh!”

“There, there my dear. We have survived worse.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 176: Delaware Smash: Air Force

Previously on BnHA: Class A finalized their preparations for the culture festival. Deku realized that the rope he was going to use to dangle Aoyama above everyone like a twinkling car air freshener was dangerously frayed. So he was all “looks like I’ll have to go buy a new one tomorrow morning at the store that’s conveniently right next door to where the villains will be having tea.” So he did. And conveniently ran into the disguised villains on his way back to U.A. To make a long story short, Deku offhandedly said something about tea, and Gentle got all excited and was all “DID YOU SAY TEA?!” and then Deku recognized his voice from the Youtube video that he had seen only a few days earlier. So now they’re gonna fight, because Deku has his cool new gloves that Mei made for him, and he’s not about to let any dumb villains ruin class A’s performance and Eri’s special day. So yeah. Go fuck him up, Deku.

Today on BnHA: Deku confronts Gentle, who sheds his disguise and tells La Brava to start filming. He then reveals his quirk, which can transform anything he touches -- even air -- to make it elastic. So he starts bouncing Deku all over the place, but then La Brava belatedly recognizes Deku from the sports festival and is all “holy shit Gentle, we don’t want to mess with that kid, he’s fucking crazy.” Deku is indeed fucking crazy, and he thinks back to all of his excited classmates who are looking forward to the festival and have worked so hard to prepare. With new determination, he takes aim at Gentle and fires his new attack, Delaware Smash: Air Force. He then leaps at Gentle and violently bodyslams him into a nearby construction site. Sorry about that, Gentle, but La Brava tried to warn you.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 200 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

ohhhhHHH SNAP YOU GUYS LOOK AT THIS COVER

guys. this is my new OT3 by the way. and has been for a little while, actually. I don’t know how, but I somehow got WAYYYY into Kacchako like out of nowhere maybe a month or so ago. but BakuDeku also owns my heart and soul, and I also can’t deny that Ochako is undeniably Into Deku any way you shake it, so. it just sort of happened. and I love them. so basically this cover is everything to me. AND THEIR SHIRTS SAY PLUS ULTRA YOU GUYS, I FUCKING CAN’T OMG

MORE COLOR PAGES WOOOOOOOO

okay so somehow I was expecting Gentle to be blond. I don’t know why I always assume anyone in manga who has light colored hair must be blond. but yeah. so now I know that he’s not, though! and that’s okay! now he reminds me of Alfred from Batman if he decided one day to go out and do some crimes

and La Brava. what can we even say about her except that she remains the best, and also I’m trying to remember if her hacking skills were actually related to her quirk in any way, or if her actual quirk has yet to be revealed. hmmmm

also do you guys think she’s possibly distantly related to Mei? just, idk. similar eyes, weird obsessiveness, technologically savvy... idk. not saying they’ve gotta be sisters or anything, but third cousins, maybe?

so Deku and Gentle are staring each other down, and Gentle’s all, “the boy catches on quick,” and yeah. when it’s convenient, lol

meanwhile La Brava is all

do you recognize him?? I mean he is famous. not Kacchan or Todoroki levels of fame, but he’s up there

Deku’s looking around, but since it’s early on a Saturday morning no one else is in the area

and apparently there are no hero offices near U.A. (which makes sense, since U.A. itself is basically a huge hero office), so he probably isn’t going to get any reinforcements

this isn’t the first time that I’ve thought to myself that the kids really need some sort of panic button/emergency beacon/batsignal they can use to call for help if they need it. it really wouldn’t be that hard to do. something with a GPS that they can quickly tap and it sends out an encrypted SOS with their location. what with them running into villains every other week it’s basically a necessity at this point

you could always try texting Todoroki again in the meantime though lol. or just shout really loudly for someone to dial 110 which I believe is the Japanese emergency police number

...

...okay then!

(ETA: in all seriousness, him making a deliberate choice not to call for help creates a lot fewer plot holes than him not being able to, so good call there actually)

Gentle is quick to adapt to this new development, and tells La Brava to start filming

AND JUST LOOK AT HIM SWINGING INTO ACTION

he’s telling the listeners that his plans were foiled and so they’ve ended up like this

omg

I can’t fucking believe this guy doesn’t have a larger audience

so now Deku is diving at him in full cowl and is all “AS IF I’LL LET YOU!”

LOL WHATTT

WHAT IS HAPPENING

it only just occurred to me that we don’t actually know Gentle’s quirk either lmfao

so he makes things stretchy, and this even extends to air. holy shit

(ETA: as the translator notes point out, apparently the words “gentleman” and “elasticity” are homonyms in Japanese -- they’re both pronounced “dansei” -- which is one of the cleverer things Horikoshi has come up with tbh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mangaka have as much fun with names as this guy does.)

so he should basically be able to fly with his quirk, no? just bounce around on air all the livelong day. that plus a built-in shield with offensive-defensive capabilities like what we just witnessed. this old man has got some skills y’all

(ETA: friendly reminder that I’m still convinced Gentle is actually 65 years old. there’s no fucking way he’s 32. just no way)

apparently he didn’t even mean to go that hard, because he and La Brava are kind of staring now in shock

I guess Deku was coming at them more intensely than they realized, so the rebound was stronger

anyway so now they’re booking it because they realized how strong he actually is

so we’ve got villains who are looking to attack U.A., and a pissed off Deku who by now should be realizing that he can’t get in close, but who fortunately has JUST developed a brand new long range attack! oh my, kids. strap yourselves in

yes, good point there. actions speak louder than words

but Gentle says that’s out of the question

and now he’s touching the ground and unleashing another attack

lol it’s a trampoline attack and Deku is flying into the air

what was that you were saying earlier Gentle? about how he catches on quick? eh...

now Gentle is telling Deku that when he was a young lad he poured his heart and soul into school events, and he understands that Deku probably feels the same way

however, “this old beard and spirit of mine will not be denied today”

he says this mission will inspire a story for the ages, and he’d appreciate it if Deku didn’t interfere

oh my god

it’s like if Aoyama and Gai-sensei had a baby

and he can fly!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

and now La Brava remembers where she recognized Deku from, and that he’s the crazy kid who busted up his hands at the sports festival

lmao the SHEER HORROR on his face. THAT’S RIGHT YOU PUNKS. DO NOT FUCK WITH MIDORIYA IZUKU, HE IS FUCKING OFF HIS HINGES. HE IS AN OLD, BUSTED SCREEN DOOR SWAYING IN THE WIND

Gentle says they have to accomplish the mission before he pursues them any further

honestly, even if they did manage to lose Deku now, he’d just be forced to call U.A. after all and they’d put the school on lockdown. like hell they’re risking anything else happening to these kids

now he’s telling the listeners that the “attempt to enter U.A.” plan is switching to a “timed attack”, whatever that means

and meanwhile Deku is still up in the air, and I’m wondering how he’s planning to land. and also how Gentle knew that he’d be okay. because that does seem pretty damn violent, just launching him 70 feet up in the air and being all “well, good luck, bye now”

especially since all they know about his quirk is that it involves breaking a lot of fingers. so for all they know he’s about to be a splatter on the ground. smdh

so during his 20 minutes of free fall, Deku is having some flashbacks! Eri-related flashbacks! the most adorable kind!

and now Mirio is spinning around in a circle

and he says that after Deku is done performing on the big day, the three of them should wander around again

OH MY GOD

MY HEART. MY FUCKING HEART, I CAN’T. THIS ISN’T FAIR

oh my god

so now Deku’s thinking back to “this old beard and spirit of mine won’t be denied”, and he has the most determined teeth-gritted look on his face

and we all know he’s thinking that Eri’s the one who won’t be denied! because she still hasn’t smiled yet! not a real smile! and weren’t they saying that their mission wouldn’t be complete until she finally did?

and now I’m thinking back to one of Horikoshi’s interviews, where he said that “a hero is someone who brings reassurance”

and basically, fuck yeah. this is why Deku has to start winning some of these types of fights. because that’s the goal here. that’s the endgame. win the day to save everyone

anyway, I got totally swept up in the “save Eri!!!!” feels, but the flashback is actually still continuing and now Jirou is coming up to Deku and asking how he organizes his hero notebooks

and he’s nerding out and he’s all “JIROU YOU HAVE A HERO YOU ADMIRE TOO??” lol

but she says no, she just meant that she has trouble condensing her own notes to make the important points easier to read

my god Jirou I can relate. try summarizing 15-18 page chapters in a single paragraph on the daily lol

anyways, Deku is looking at the notes she prepared for the other band members, and d’awwwwww

MY GODDAMN FUCKING HEART!!!!!

LISTEN, JIROU. I’M SURE THEY’LL ALL LOVE IT. and if Bakugou gives you even a hint of attitude, you have my permission to smack him

SPEAKING OF BAKUGOU!!

oh my god I love this arc so much. I’m learning so much about Bakugou’s musical tastes and they’re exactly what I would have imagined. WE ARE SEX BOB-BOMB AND WE’RE HERE TO ANNIHILATE U.A.’S EARS WITH THIS BADASS FUCKING RIFF!!!! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!

also I’m more convinced than ever that they sound like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

notably more effective than Bakugou’s method lmao

so now he’s taking aim at Gentle while still in the air! at this point he just lives up there now huh

ahhh I’m too excited to sum all this up, I’m just going to post it!

I’m not even surprised that once again Mina is the lowkey hero of the whole damn arc

so now there’s a whole page devoted to Deku very dramatically flicking his finger

OHHHHHH DAMN

OHHHHHHHHHH DAMN

lmao Deku is CACKLING

HAHA I LOVE IT

(ETA: I just realized this is a straight up Kacchan face and even his trademark “hahh.” now I love it even more)

Gentle’s jacket is all torn up omg

but he says that won’t be enough to stop him!

!!!!!

OHHHHHHH DAMN

La Brava status: still the cutest

Deku is shouting at Gentle that the sentiments he has are shared by everyone. okay lol

and Gentle is gritting his teeth and he’s all “how disrespectful!”

and now they’re flying into the under-construction building Gentle mentioned a few chapters ago

and La Brava is watching in distress

nooooo

why does a cute little girl have to end up sad no matter what!!

I’m sorry La Brava. but your dude has to lose, because he’s in the wrong and he’s trying to needlessly traumatize a bunch of excited kids and ruin a kindergartner’s day. sorry kiddo

BONUS: Toga Himiko preliminary sketches!

god I love Toga so much

I’m assuming these notes are also preliminary, just like these are his preliminary designs. so he knew exactly the type of character he wanted her to be right from the start

but can she actually use someone’s quirk if she transforms into them?? is this confirmed, or did he drop this idea eventually? because if that’s true, it would be huge. that would make her one of the most powerful characters in the series, full stop. but given that we haven’t actually seen her use anyone else’s quirk, I’m gonna go ahead and say he dropped this for the sake of not making her too overpowered. I’m honestly not sure if I’m disappointed or not lol

I really like this messy bun look. it’s pretty similar to what he ultimately went with in the end, but he combined that with the pigtails look. but I’m just saying, if she ever wanted to change things up and go with just the single messy bun in the back, I would 100% be here for it. my god

[mystudioflow-blog]

My Recording Studio Journey pt.1 (#mystudioflow)

I spent all of my teenage and adult life writing, producing and recording my own hip hop music treating it like a hobby although I claimed I would earn my living with it one day. In 2010 at around 30 years old after years of talking the talk and thinking I knew it all. I started to realise I was wrong. I had to start being honest with myself after I went and recorded with a local producer who was much further along than I was. He was working in Pro Tools, had a much better mic and a real outboard mic pre (UA710). Whereas I was working with outdated software and had no Idea what Plugins were, how to tune vocals or dial in a compressor. When I left his house I was driving home listening to the song we did. At first I was very excited about the pop sound with my vocals tuned and a decent rough mix…. even though up until that day I was ANTI-auto tune and hated modern pop music! After playing it on repeat for about 20 minutes my mood started to change. I started to get this indescribable gut wrenching feeling. All I could think was that he was five or six years younger than me and he was leaps and bounds past where I was with my craft. He was charging $40.00 an hour producing and recording for people in his apartment and I wasn’t getting any respect or making any money because my final product sounded like GARBAGE in comparison to his. As the days passed I started bugging out and feeling depressed.

After about a week of pondering on these thoughts and tormenting myself I came to a conclusion. I was going to need to either go ALL in on music production and engineering or I needed to just quit because I felt like a joke. Considering the fact that music and studio life was always how I identified myself and I felt so overwhelmingly passionate about it. I decided there was only one option….GO ALL IN!!! First I reached out to the guy I recorded with and asked him what mic and pre amp he had. I told him I was going to get some new gear, Pro Tools and some plugins so I could start making a living doing what I love like he did. He got quiet for a moment and responded by saying “Going and buying the gear I have isn’t going to make you as good as me”……… I took it well and stayed cordial on the phone but all I could think was “Oh yeh?!? Watch me mother effer!! WHATCH ME!!

My next step was to try and convince my wife to let me spend a few grand on some of the gear and software I needed to start working towards making a living in my own studio. After a considerable amount of debating I was able to convince her to give approval on a Guitar Center card to get the ball rolling. I also sold my 1988 IROC Z Camaro, my booming system and all the crappy equipment I had in an effort to raise money for some new gear. My first burst of purchasing went like this. i3 iMac, Pro Tools 8, Waves Native Power Pack, UA610 mk2, Sterling Audio st69 mic (yuk) and a pair of Dynaudio monitors. Oh yes and I also bought auto tune. I got all the equipment hooked up and software installed. Then the long road of learning and troubleshooting could really begin! I had been mixing all my own projects for years leading up to this but still didn’t really have a good understanding of mixing and mastering. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Over the next year or so I was layed off from work and home during the day with 2 babies trying to learn audio engineering while being Mr. Mom. I would wake up in the middle of the night and end up in my basement studio watching You Tube videos and franticly researching trying to learn my craft. I was reading books for the first time in my life!! I was going to Barns And Noble to escape my family and read all the audio magazines for free. About 2 years after my BIG decision to go all in on learning my craft we moved our family of four from Connecticut to Cape Coral, FL . This is where my wife is from and where we met years before. Shortly after arriving in Florida a friend at work recommended that I put an add on Craigslist as a home recording studio. That evening I sat down and did just that! It only took a few days and I got my first call which turned into my first steady client… A Christian Rapper. I was so excited and full of nerves for the first few sessions considering I had only recorded myself and a few friends up until that point and had never really charged much money. I was making $8.00 more per hour in my home studio than I was making at my day job doing strenuous physical labor. This was when my bad attitude towards my day job life began to escalate rapidly. I spent about a year recording with ten to fifteen clients before I decided to go take an audio engineering class at Vibe Recording in Ft. Myers, Florida. I felt I needed to go fill in the blanks with some formal education so I could gain the confidence needed to open my own commercial recording studio. This had been my dream since my first time in a real studio at 18 years old. I actually have an earlier memory of my uncle who was the lead singer in a band that took me to his friends house who had a recording set up. He had a tape machine, microphones and a mixing board. I was about 6–8 years old and all I can remember is how floored I was. I vividly remember being very excited that they could actually record music in their basement and play it on a tape in the car!!!!! I also remember them telling me that all their equipment actually sucked and was not good quality. I was not phased by there negative comments about their crappy gear. I thought it was absolutely AMAZING! This is the same uncle (Uncle Med) who took me to my first concert when I was six years old…. Michael Jackson (BAD)!! All I know is that as far back as I can remember music was a GIANT part of my life and seemed to be what made me tic.

Ok Im loosing track of the story…

I started my classes and just fell more and more in love with the process of recording, mixing and mastering. I started engulfing myself with information. I had podcasts going all day (Pensado’s Place, Recording Studio Rockstars and Working Class Audio) as well as reading magazines and books. Along with the obvious late nights in my home studio with clients or working on my own personal productions sharpening my swords. I was spending as much time as a 40 hour working married father of three could at the studio where I took classes definitely pushing the limit at times and straining my home life. I was going to work from 7am to 3:30 or 4:00pm. Then Picking my kids up from daycare to take them home, cook them dinner and eat with the family. Then I would go straight from the dinner table to class. At the end of class I would always try to spend some extra time. Whether at the studio sitting in on sessions or at the local brewery with people from the studio. Talking music, audio and making relationships with like minded people some work nights I wouldn’t make it home till as late as 2am. Actually I was hanging around people that were smarter than me in many cases which really helped to speed up my progression. I finished the class never scoring below a 99% on any test or project which is funny considering I had ALWAYS been an F and D student growing up. I started assisting my teacher and mentor Chad Zuchegno on saturdays as well as attending the next round of classes religiously in many cases assisting in the classroom as well.

After about 3 months of assisting and attending my second round of classes I did an 11hr day helping at the studio. Doing everything from setting up the mics to getting coffees and emptying garbages (keep in mind I’m in my 30’s). At the end of the day Chad took me out for a beer and a cigar which was kind of the norm. Then as I sipped my first bear Chad looked up from texting with the other owner of the studio and asked me “Hey do you want to work a session at the studio on your own tomorrow?” This would be my first session at a real established commercial recording studio! Of course I said yes! As the evening progressed he proceeded to tell me some things I really needed to hear. He said “YOU DO BELONG in the studio”….. “YOU are already a GREAT engineer!”…. “This IS what your SUPPOSED to be doing”…. This my friends was a pivotal point for the future of my life. On my ride home that night I remember having the windows down, loudly playing my own work and letting out shouts of extreme happiness “WOOOOOOOO YEEEESSS!!!! I DID IT!!! I AM DOING IT!!! I CAN EFFING DO IT!! WOOOOHOO”.

To be continued………….

[nowthatswhaticalllosing]

Now That’s What I Call Music! 2

Preface: Hi internet! I belong to a fantasy football league with my friends from college, and I lost this season! I received my punishment for placing last of the 12 teams, and I am required to listen to all of the Now That’s What I Call Music! compilations that currently exist (70 as of May 2019), review them (on a weekly-ish basis), and at the end of this descent into madness create my definitive power ranking of each album.

–

Album: Now That’s What I Call Music! 2

Release Date: 7/27/1999

Track Listing and Awarded Scores:

Average Score: 6.67/10

The Good: I write this blog in the order that it’s shown, and I make my little excel tables and calculate it as I plan what to write here, and when I saw that the average score for Now 2 was 0.02 points higher than Now 1, I audibly went “woahhhh” as if someone were nearby, but then I realized I’m sitting in a darkened apartment alone with nobody around to hear my intrigue. 

The Good continued: I guess the higher score isn’t too hard to believe. The album leads off with “...Baby One More Time,” which is probably the best song that starts with an ellipsis (so neat facts there). It’s classic Britney, the one who peaked at her release, and the one who I get to listen to get slowly worse over the next 68 Now CDs. Also a strong showing from New Radicals on an original one-hit-wonder alt-rock diss track (listen to the bridge, these LA natives go after everything from health insurance, the FDA, big bankers, cloning (while they’re multiplying), Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson! Their angst knows no bounds! 

Though fair warning to lead singer Gregg Alexander, stay away from Manson:

“"I'm giving an open invitation to the singer of the New Radicals, because he's all strange and spiritual, and he challenged me in one of his songs. A lot of people would say, 'Y'know, don't give him the attention, cause that's what he wants.' But I think I'll crack his skull open if I see him." - Marilyn Manson

(http://www.mtv.com/news/1430072/new-radicals-discuss-slighting-marilyn-manson-and-courtney-love-manson-responds/)

Alexander later stated that the jab was out of respect and trying to get the names of artists he is a “major major fan of” out into the open, but this story is 21 years old, and we’re still not buying it. 

Also, Garbage is fantastic. Listen to them. 

The Bad: The fuck is a Baz Luhrmann song* doing on this album?!? 

*it’s not a song. It’s a 5 minute graduation speech that perseverates on the importance of sunscreen (can’t disagree with that) over a GarageBand drum kit. The only thing that prevented it from getting a 1/10 was as I was a hostage audience there were some salient bits of advice. BUT COME ON THIS IS TERRIBLE HOW DID THIS GET ADDED ON. NO REALLY LISTEN TO IT. THIS IS ACTUALLY A THING. 

Potpourri: Oh man definitely the original song from The Rugrats Movie. Yep, that one of course. You know, by Mya? and Blackstreet?! Take the Rugrats theme and add of the biggest R&B names to it? And then do that in a music video? Honestly it’s not half bad. Kind of like whiskey with a pickle back (pun intended). Hop in the Reptar Wagon!  

You know what? The music video is spectacular. Here’s the whole thing. 

Takeaways: Now 2 is definitely front loaded with some 1998/9 classics though finishes with a real turd in the punchbowl of an 18th song, though based on my arbitrary ratings I clearly liked it 0.3% more than Now 1. 

Thanks for tagging along guys! Only 68 more albums to go! Get ready for Now 3! Woooooooo

Current Power Rankings:

Now 2 (6.67/10)

Now 1 (6.65/10)

[drowning-in-shipss-blog]

So I know that there are a lot of people who would like a peek into my brain, because it's ducking weird. No one asked for it or they don't want it here but I'm doing it anyway. So here are the parts of my crazy brain. I'm gonna make them into characters to make it easier and it entertains me. Okay lets start.

Rationality: And I'm awake. I wish I got more sleep last night. Glasses glasses, glasses! There we are. And grab your phone there we go. Get ready for school. Meh this one is fine. And these jeans. Okay we're changing shirts again that's fine. Hair is fine. You don't need a hat. Okay you need a hat that's fine. No makeup today. Okay maybe just eyeliner. Shit it's time to leave. Grab some food you need it. You have everything let's go. The door is locked walk away. The door is locked walk away. THE DOOR IS LOCKED JUST LIKE THE PAST FOUR TIMES YOU TRUED ITS LOCKED. And walk to school. This is fine see? Beautiful day. No don't kick that rock. Don't chase that rock to kick it. It's gone stop looking for it. No don't pick up that roly poly. Leave it alone. No dont follow that butterfly. Jesus it's just a car don't freak out. PAY ATTENTION WHEN YOU CROSS THE STREET NOT DYING IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THAT FUCKING ROCK. And school. Sit down. Don't fall asleep. Just focus. later coz I'm lazy I have to pee. Raise your hand and ask. You're not a burden. Just ask. There you go. Ask. ASK. Finally. Just go pee. The lock is locked you're fine. Stop checking it. See? All better. Wash your hands. Okay good nice and clean. No don't wash them again you already did. No dammit stop. Fine but only this time. Done. Dammit not again. Okay last time. There we go- never mind we're doing this again. Okay see- oh whatever might as well make it five times. Just open the door. Don't twist the handle over and over please. Not that hard. And here we go again. Why can't you be normal? Okay fine but no more than five times. Open the door. No they're not gonna laugh at you. They don't care. They probably didn't hear. Just walk outside. There you go. See? Easy. Now just focus. Breathe. Let's get to work. Just sit down at your desk and take notes. Get your pencil out. Paper on the desk. Wait to take notes. Stop tapping. It's annoying. People are gonna start looking at you. When did I start biting the side of my finger? I should stop. Don't bite your nails. Stop tapping your pencil. Please. There you go. Now they're talking. Listen. Okay now take notes. Wait why is this a story? This doesn't have anything to do with the topic. Flip the page. Try again. Stop doodling. They're not whispering about you. Stop humming. That's off topic. Just take notes. Please take notes. There's the bell. Let's just go home. Everything is in your bag, no stop checking you have every- YOU HAVE EVERYTHING STOP! Okay and open the door. Don't chase that rock. Not again. And we're home. Unlock the door. Unlock it. It's locked unlock it. There we go. Open the door. Take off your shoes. Lock the door. It's locked. It's locked. It's LOCKED. Finally Jesus. Let's get to work. Okay fine tv and work. Focus. Focus. FOCUS. No more TV. And we're finished. And bathroom time. And we're done. Oops bumped the hand soap. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. D O N T F R E A K O U T. And we've recovered. Fix it. And we're done. Let's go to bed. Pjs, feed rats, plug in phone, turn on laptop to watch tv, and relax. Okay time to sleep. Heavy eyes yesssss. No that won't happen. No that's irrelevant. I don't care how you spell that. That word is normal. Sigh, not much sleep tonight I guess.

ADHD: Annnnnnd open eyes! Why is everything blurry I can't see!! O wait I wear glasses. And grab the phone. OOOOOOH NOTIFICATIONS. I should get dressed. I wonder if bees are like the ones in Bee Movie? Ooooh I want some honey. Let's see if we have honey toast. How do toasters work? I should look that up. Biting the side of my thumb hurts but it's nice. singing literally my life! Get up up up up up. This shirt. No this one! No I like this one! How do they make shirts? I could make shirts. How do you make cotton? Ooooh cotton candy. Pants pants pants. I should sing everything I'm doing!!!! Breakfasttttt. Oh wait hat. Eyeliner!! I'm bored of makeup let's go eat. Shit I'm out of tea. Yikesssss. Who made the word yikes? Tap tap tap. I don't want to eat anything we have. Okay let's have toast that's fast. Ooooh writing idea! Annnnd it's gone time for toast. School school time for school. And walking. Feet feet feet. I wonder if butterflies can walk on their back feet but choose not to. I loveeeeeeee the color blue. Oh there's a rock!! Kick it. Too far. Go get it. Kick kick kick. I wish I still played soccer. Dance break. Cross walk time woo. Ooooh there's a pretty piece of- ahhh a car! What did I need to get from the store? Oh school! skip I HAVE TO URINATE. singing again U- R-I-N-a-T-E I have to PEE I have to pee! I HAVE TO P DOUBLE E! Hand up! Bathroom time. Touch the lockers. Bathroom door. How do you make doors- I want a cat. I'm allergic to cats. Math is fun- bees- singing woooooooo. All done peeing high five me! Hands hands wash your hands. All clean. What was that cute girls name? Sitting down my butt already hurts. And pencil. Flutter the paper. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Bite my finger again woot. What are nails made of? Rhino horns. I want a rhino hor- what if I was in Jack and the beanstalk? Pigmentation is weird so I have freckles. I love to dance! singing again BUT IM ONLY HUMAN!!! AND I BLEED WHEN I FALL DOWN IM ONLY HUMAN! AND I CRASH- I CRASHED MY CAR INTO THE BRIDGE I DONT CARE- I DONT CARE IF YOUVE GOT HER IN YOUR HEART ALL I REALLY CARE IS THAT YOURE BACK- BABY GOT BACK. What was I doing again? Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Don't look at me you fucking perv. This desk is so smooth yasssssss. Tap tap tippity tap. I wanna be a lion so I can sleep a lot. Or a cheetah so I can run. I wish I could focus. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH is that a dog? Oh they're talking. LETS WRITE A STORY RIGHT NOW WOOO. shit I should take notes. OR DRAW A DOG. I MISS PATCHES. What if I just never ever- am I the bees knees? Do penguins have knees? I wanna be tall like a- I need more crayons. humming Lucky by Jason Mraz what would it be like if I was a gold fish. I want some gold fish. What if gold fish were made from the fish? UGHHHH THIS CLASS LASTS FOREVER I AM B O R E D. Oh there's the bell. Let's go. Oops I forgot my bag. Need that. Do I? Home home. There's a rock I love music. What is The Rock thinking about. What day is it? I dunno. Home home home. Rockkkkkkkkk. Ooh I'm here. Door open!! I love Doctor who. SHOES SUCK. Did I lock the door? Yep. Tv! Homework :. TV AND HOMEWORK. Okay math. Easy, who named numbers? Oh tv!!! I like tv how does it work I dunno. Bro. Broski. Bromeo. Ahhh I need to focus no more tv. Working, writing idea drawing. Shhhhh brain shhhhh. Bathroom.

I need to do a to be continued because my ADHD is making me bored. Also it's hard to write about my ADHD because I can't focus yeeeee.

Drowning

[hazzamylouworld-blog]

Three’s A Charm But Four Is A Family

Going to be totally honest here and say..I couldn’t remember the three kids names so they don’t play a big role in the story, sorry! Hope you like it anyway!

"Ok thanks again, mum. Tell the kids I said I love them and we'll see them in a few days." Harry coo's into the phone. He misses his three little angels but he's also super thankful for his mum taking them for the weekend so he and Louis can finally have some alone time. Raising three wild three year olds doesn't exactly allow for much time just for the two of them. They clearly got SOME time together at some point nine months ago however, because Louis is nearly ready to pop with child number four. Harry didn't mind Louis carrying their child this time. He actually has rather enjoyed caring for him through the most trying months and watching his belly grow with the life of their precious child. Louis has been absolutely amazing through the entire pregnancy. He IS a midwife after all so he's known what to do each month. He and Harry have listened to their little love's heartbeat on Louis' Doppler each and every night like a sweet lullaby. And Louis has loved being the home for their sweet baby girl, Laurel, these past few months but he's ready. His belly has stretched to its limit and the last time he checked, his daughter was nearing the ten pound mark, which was a bit terrifying for him. He's delivered plenty of babies that were over ten pounds...just not out of his own body. Still. He'll know what to do when he actually does go into labor so it at least takes the fear out of things. Harry smiles upon walking into the living room and seeing Louis cuddled up on the couch snoozing. His eyes blink open when Harry sits down on the couch and he smiles lightly. "Hey...sorry I must've fallen asleep." "Yeah, you really clonked out on me there, babe." "Did the kids and your mum make it back to her house safe?" Harry nods. "They did. It's just me and you now." "Hmm. Well not JUST me and you." He laughs, rubbing a hand down his belly. Harry smiles. "Just me, you and baby Laurel." "Thinking she might be trying to join us this weekend..." Harry gives him a concerned look. "You think? Your tummy hurting?" Louis nods. "Not yet. But my Braxton hicks have gotten pretty strong and I couldn't sleep very well last night. I can feel her head at the base of my belly and she's been squirming around like crazy." Harry nods. "So much for our weekend together." He jokes. Louis shrugs. "Maybe. But she could just be tricking me. I've seen them wait until 42 weeks with terrible Braxton hicks." "Let's just hope she doesn't wait that long. I know how miserable you must be feeling. Do you feel like eating? I ordered some Chinese while you were asleep. Figured we could eat and watch a film." Louis nods. "Yeah, I could eat a bit, I think." Harry smiles. "Good." Harry rubs shapes into Louis' sides, giggling when Laurel kicks out at him until the doorbell rings. He gets up and pays the man as Louis sits up and stretches out his back muscles. He stands and his belly drops low on his hips as he waddles over to the kitchen table. Harry brings the Chinese over to the table and dishes out even portions on two plates. He pours both of them glasses of water and sets the table. "I could've helped, you know." Louis says with a smile. "You're far too pregnant, love. You just sit back and relax and keep cooking my little princess." The two chat as forks clink on their plates. Harry sees Louis' face scrunch and a hand drop down to his belly. He exhales uncomfortably and closes his eyes. "Babe?" "Woooooooo....I'm ok." "Contraction?" Harry asks with a frown. "Yeah....it wasn't too bad. I don't really feel like eating anymore though." "That's ok, Boo. I understand. Let me get your plate." Harry hums, standing and grabbing Louis' dishes. He puts them away into the dishwasher and stands behind Louis' chair, massaging his shoulders and rubbing his belly softly. Louis puts his head onto Harry's chest and sighs. "M'exhausted." Harry kisses his head. "Want to head to bed?" Louis nods and stands from his chair, feeling Laurel's every single move inside his belly. He and Harry walk up the stairs to their bedroom and slip into their pajamas, brushing their teeth together. Harry jumps into the shower while Louis heads to bed, sitting up slightly and rubbing a bit of cocoa butter on his belly as he does every night. The shower cuts off and Louis feels a cramp loop its way from his back to his belly, tightening his muscles uncomfortably. He grimaces and places a hand to the top of his belly as the other rubs large circles into his skin. "Hmmmm...hmmmmmwooooo..." Harry walks back into the room and sees the discomfort on his love's face. He quickly gets on the bed and rubs a gentle hand on Louis' belly. "Pwooooooooo..." Louis breathes, slowly opening his eyes back up. "Another?" Louis nods. "I'm going to sleep. Love you." He mumbles. Harry kisses him and helps him lie on his side. The boy is out in mere seconds. Harry smiles and scoots beneath the comforter, resting his hands on Louis' active rounded belly and closes his eyes. Louis is woken up at around midnight to his belly twinging with another cramp. "Mmgh.." He breathes, scrunching his face. He rubs his fingers up and down his belly, before flattening his hand and rubbing it in large circles. He feels his belly misshape and the baby stretch as his muscles get tighter and tighter around her. The pain ends and he takes a few deep calming breaths before drifting back to sleep. He wakes again at one to a stronger cramp making his belly quiver beneath his tight pajama top. He grits his teeth and grips his pillow tightly beneath his head, pressing a flat hand to his belly and humming lightly under his breath. He feels the contraction peak and he takes a deep, shuttering breath and exhales as it rides itself out. He's woken up first every hour, then slowly it changes to every thirty minutes, and when the sun comes up, his contractions are every twenty minutes apart. Very regular and steadily stronger. Harry wakes up at around 8:30 and stretches his arms high above his head with a relaxing sigh. It's been ages since he's slept that good or this long. He peaks over at Louis, who's still asleep, with his little hand pressed to the bottom of his bloated belly. Harry resists the urge to give his bump a small rub in fear that it might wake the baby inside and effectively wake Louis as well. He scoots out of bed and brushes his teeth before heading downstairs and starting a full out English breakfast. Louis wakes up to an uncomfortable spasming of his opening and a rock hard belly, contracting tightly beneath his hand. He sits up and curls up his face and toes, gripping onto his bedsheets and rubbing large circles into his belly. Fifteen minutes apart. His belly doesn't feel near as firm as it should and the baby still feels fairly high so he knows this is still only the beginning. He presses the button on his contraction timer on his iPhone letting himself know how far apart the pains are now. He sighs when his muscles relax and steps out of bed and into the bathroom. He feels an odd sensation fall from him over the toilet and immediately recognizes it as his mucus plug. He stands back up and brushes his teeth, pressing his tight stomach muscles into the cool tile of the counter, as it relieves the steady, dull ache left behind from the contractions. He waddles down the stairs and sees Harry in the kitchen just as he feels another tightening cramp wrap its way around his belly, pushing it forward. Louis walks to Harry with a huff. Harry frowns at him sympathetically and rubs a hand over his rock hard belly. He tuts and tucks a stray hair away from Louis face and continues rubbing his palm into Louis' tummy. "Everything ok?" Louis sighs and rides out the pain. "Yeah...I'm definitely in labor, though. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Contractions kept me up all night, no matter what position I got in. I lost my mucus plug just now in the loo." Harry nods. "That's ok, babe. We can handle it. This is what you do for a living, yeah?" He says with a smile, "What do you need?" Louis shrugs. "I probably need to be checked. Think you can help me out?" "Ehm...yeah. I think I can do that. Let me just get the food out on the table. Head on into the living room or the guest bedroom. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Louis nods. "I'll go to the bedroom." "Right. See you in just a bit. And hey...you're going to do great." Harry says, smiling and rubbing a hand to Louis' side. Louis waddles to the bedroom and Harry places all the food out for when they finish up. He washes his hands and heads back to the bedroom. Louis sits propped up on the bed, waiting for him with a small smile. "Alright. How bad are your contractions?" Louis shrugs. "They're uncomfortable to get through but not terrible." "That's good. Let's have a look, yeah? Tell me if I'm hurting you, ok? I'm not...a professional like you are. M'a bit nervous." "Don't be. You'll be fine." Louis says, lying his head back. "Ok. I'm just got to pull your joggers down, ok?" "Mhmm." "How far apart are your contractions?" "Around fourteen minutes." Harry slips his fingers into Louis and the boy's face scrunches. "Sorry. I don't mean to hurt you." "Hmm....hmmm....hmmm..." Louis breathes, rubbing at his belly as it seizes up with a contraction. "Oh I'm sorry love. Contraction, yeah? Give me one more second.." "Wooooo...woooo...hmmmm...." Louis breathes, rubbing large circles into his skin. "Ok...I'm done. I think you're at about a two..." Louis' face begins to relax and he nods. "I figured I wasn't too dilated. Thanks babe." "I didn't hurt you, did I?" "You did wonderfully. Don't worry about a thing." "I made breakfast..do you feel like eating?" Louis shrugs. "Maybe a bit..I need my strength for later." Harry nods, remembering how exhausting labor really is. He helps Louis sit down at the table and hands him a plate piled high with food. He watches Louis more than he pays attention to eating, waiting for the boy's next pain. "You don't have to watch me like that. You know the baby won't just fall out." Harry laughs. "I know babe. I'm just nervous, I guess. T's weird being on the other side of things." Louis nods. "It is for me too." "How do you feel?" "Hot. Exhausted. And my muscles are really tense." Harry frowns. "I'm sorry babe." "All for a good cause, yeah?" "Absolutely." Louis' face scrunches suddenly and he places his fork down, putting both hands to his belly and massaging his fingers into the tight muscles. "Hmmmm...hmmmm....hmmmmm..." He breathes, face scrunching tighter as the pain builds. Harry bites his lip and watches as Louis rides out the pain. "Are you ok?" He asks once Louis face is more relaxed. "Yeah....yeah. I'm good...could you put on my phone that my last contraction was about thirteen minutes from the last? Think m'gonna go lie down on the couch.." "Of course babe." Harry taps the contraction counter and cleans up the table before heading into the living room with Louis. "Hey love." "Hi..." "What do you need?" "Nothing babe." Louis laughs lightly, "I'm going to try to nap for an hour or two. You can just relax for a bit." "Yeah....ok...relax, right. I can do that.." Louis laughs lightly, placing a hand on top of Harry's, "I'm fine, love. Don't be nervous." "You should be the nervous one!" Harry exasperates. "But I'm not. So you shouldn't be either. I need a calm environment to labor in." "Calm...ok....ok, yeah. I can..I can be calm." "Harry?" "Yes?" "Sit down. Put a movie on or something. Take a breath, drink some tea, something. Just...relax.." Louis closes his eyes and rubs his fingers down his belly and his breathing slows. Harry bites his lip, nerves bubbling in his stomach. He has NO idea how to be the caretaker for Louis right now. He was the one in labor last time, he didn't have to comfort anyone but himself. And Louis is so calm...Harry is the furthest thing from calm right now. He's shaking like a leaf. Maybe tea is exactly what he needs. He walks into the kitchen and starts the kettle, breathing deep to slow his racing heart. The kettle whistles and he pours himself a steaming mug before heading back into the living room. Louis starts to stir and Harry watches him with large, nervous eyes. He puts an arm over his eyes and grimaces, placing the pads of his fingers to his belly to massage out the tightness. "Hoh.....hohhhhh....hhohhhhhh......" Harry bites his lip and heads over to Louis, pawing at his belly until the boy relaxes again. Eleven minutes since the last. They're getting closer. Harry feels like his throat is closing up. "Harry..." Louis whispers from his spot, nearly fifteen minutes later. "Yeah love?" Harry asks, jumping up from the chair he was attempting to relax in. "Could you get behind me and massage my belly?" "Of course!" Harry rushes over to the couch and sits behind Louis, arms crossing over the boy's firm bump. "Like this?" He asks, pressing the pads of his finger's into Louis' belly. "Mhmm. Thanks..." Louis breathes. "What are we watching?" "Oh. I was mostly watching you if I'm honest. But I think My 600 Pound Life is on." Louis laughs lightly. "Lovely show." Harry continues to massage at Louis' belly and he feels it tense beneath his hands. Louis' face scrunches up and he grips onto Harry's hands. "Hohhhhh...hohhh....hohhhhh...wooooooooo...wooooooooo...woo..." He lets go of Harry's arms and places his hands to the bottom of his belly, rubbing side to side. "You ok?" Harry asks, kissing his shoulder, after the poor boy experiences two more contractions in which Harry can feel his belly quivering. "Yeah...yeah...I think you need to check me again." Harry nods. "I can do that." Louis stands up and waddles back to the bedroom. Harry follows, stopping to wash his hands. "Ok...pants down, love. Your contractions are about ten minutes apart now." Louis nods, pulling his joggers down. "Ok.....looks like....you're right at....four." Louis nods. "Ok..." "Still feeling ok?" "They're getting stronger, but not terrible yet." "Good." "Could you massage my back for a bit? My muscles are so tense.." "Yeah!" Louis nods and rolls his shirt up, bending over a bit to allow Harry access to his back. "All over?" "Just my lower back right now. You can just scratch my upper back." "Think you're just suckering me into a back rub, yeah?" Louis laughs lightly. "Maybe." Harry massages the tense muscles in Louis' lower back and scratches the top lightly with his fingertips. It's quite serene really, even when Louis tenses up again. "Hmmm...hmmm......hohhhhhhh...hohhhhh..." He breathes, rubbing the sides of his bare belly, "Hoh.....hohhhh...." He sits up and his face scrunches tighter. "Mmmm...ohhh...ohhhh..." He moans lightly, pressing one hand to the top of his belly as the other rubs a large circle over it. "Need me to stop?" Harry asks in worry. Louis shakes his head before gasping. "Hhohhhhh..." Harry quickly goes back to massaging his back until the pain ends. An hour passes and Louis' contractions go up to every eight minutes apart. "Are you ok, Lou?!" Harry asks, knowing the boy is getting more and more uncomfortable. He sighs. "Yes babe...why don't you go fix some lunch, ok?" "Are you sure you'll be ok?" "I'll be fine.." "Are you sure?" "Harry, please." "Ok..ok.." Harry walks into the kitchen and begins tossing sandwiches together quickly. Louis presses his head into the couch as he feels another contraction ripple over his belly. He grimaces. "Woooooo...wooooo....hmmmmmm..." He breathes, tight grimace taking over his features. He places one hand to the side of his rock hard belly and rubs the other in large circles over his aching, throbbing belly. He feels Laurel give a big push and his belly misshapes with the pain. "Ohhh..." He breathes. "Babe? Do you want mustard?" Harry asks. Louis isn't able to answer as the pain grows a bit too much for him. "Babe??" Harry calls. Louis catches his breath. "No...no I don't want any.." "Are you ok?" "Harrrrryyyy." Louis groans in annoyance. "Sorry, sorry." Harry brings him his sandwich and sits beside him with a smile. Louis keeps his sandwich on the table, gripping onto the couch and rubbing a hand over his belly. "Hohhh....hohhh...ohhh...." He moans, rolling his head from side to side. Harry frowns and rubs a comforting hand over Louis' rock hard bump as it heaves forward. "Woooo..." Louis breathes, rubbing a hand over his bump. "Don't feel like eating?" Louis lies his head back on the couch. "No....that one hurt...." Harry frowns. "Yeah?" "Yeah...." "It's alright babe. I'm here." "I'll help you with the plates." "Louis, you don't have-" "Harry." "Ok, ok babe. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Louis follows Harry into the kitchen with his plate. Harry takes the dishes and throws the rubbish in the trash compacter. Louis grips onto the counter, rolling his hips from side to side. "Hoh......hoh....hoh.....wooooooo...woooo..." He places one hand to his bump and rubs it up and down the front, gripping onto the counter with the other. His face remains in a tight grimace until the pain fades. Harry decides not to say anything, only takes the next plate from him and washes it out. Louis decides to sit down and help load the dishwasher. Harry doesn't comment on it. He closes the dishwasher when they're done and turns it on. Louis stands when he feels another contraction build. "Wooo..wooo..." He presses one hand to his back as the other rubs circles into his tensing skin, "Wooo...." Harry clearly doesn't notice his discomfort as he continues on with their conversation. "It's not as easy going through labor as it is instructing it, is it?" He hums before standing back up and frowning when he catches sight of Louis. "Hm...hmmm...ohhhh...ohhhhhh..." "Hey..hey love. Relax, it's ok...breathe.. "Ohhhh.." Louis presses his belly forward and Harry frowns, rubbing his palm over it. "Oh love...think you've officially entered the hard part of labor....your contractions are pretty close.." "Mmmghhhohh...." Louis bites his lip until the pain fades. "Can you check me?" He whispers. Harry nods. He takes him into the bedroom again and nods. "Five centimeters love. No wondering you're hurting." Louis sits up, pressing his hands to the bed and taking deep breathes. "Ughhh another's one coming...mmmmgh....mmghhwooo..." "It's ok, babe. Breathe..." Harry rubs circles into his belly and brushes back his hair lovingly. "Why don't we try something you'd use on your patients?" Harry asks. "Can we walk around the neighborhood?" "Yeah! Of course. It's beautiful out." Harry helps Louis slip into something that's decent enough for the public eye and helps him down the stairs and out into the fresh air and beautiful sun light. He grabs his hand and the two begin their walk around the block. Louis grips onto Harry's hand and closes his eyes, exhaling sharply through his nose and placing a hand to the front of his belly. "Mmmm...mmmgh...." His nose scrunches and he stops walking. Harry stops and rubs a hand over his belly, shushing him lightly. "Ohhhhhhhwooo...ohhhhhhhh..ohhhhohhhhhh..." He grunts, teeth gritted and head thrown back. "Think the walk is working babe?" Harry asks once the pain ends. Louis nods with a huff. "These pains are really strong. My stomach feels like a rock." "That's good. Does she feel low?" Louis nods. "She feels like she's between my legs. My lower belly is pulsing with pressure.." "That's good news, I know it doesn't feel very good though." "Ohhhh..." Louis breathes out uncomfortably. "Need to stop?" Louis shakes his head. "You want to try and walk through it?" "Hohhhhh...hohhhhhhhohhhhhh..." Louis breathes rhythmically but nods. Harry places his free hand over Louis' belly and rubs up and down it as the boy grits his teeth and rubs the bottom. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh..hohhhhhhhhhhh...." "You're doing great, love. Your contractions have really picked up." Harry comments once the two have been walking a while. Louis is having a really hard time finishing up their walk, contractions coming every four to five minutes. His belly hangs low on his hips and feels like stone. It's far less round than this morning and his face is scrunched in constant discomfort. "Ohhhhhh Harry, I really need to stop.." Louis grips onto Harry's shoulder and bends slightly. Harry frowns and paws at Louis' belly. "Ohhhhghhh shit....ughhh..." A splash hits Harry's feet and his eyes widen, locking with Louis'. "Your water broke...we need to get you home, NOW." It's a slow walk, Louis having to stop every few minutes from pain. But they eventually make it and Louis requests a shower immediately. Harry agrees, remembering how uncomfortable it was once his water broke. He helps Louis into the shower and turns the water on very warm. It beats down on Louis' belly and he breathes rhythmically through the contractions lapsing like waves over his tummy. "Hohhhhh...ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...." "Shhhh..." Harry hums, rubbing his belly from behind as Louis leans against him. Louis presses his hands to his sides and groans. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...ohhh there's so much pressure now...mmmgh...." "I know....I know, babe..." Harry hums in his ear. Louis bends over himself and moans out as his belly heaves forward. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh..." Harry helps Louis out once his pains pick up to every two minutes. Louis refuses to put any pants on besides boxers as the pain in his lower belly increases with the baby lowering within him. He wears a loose fitting top that still hugs his belly like a glove. Harry sits behind him and rubs large circles into his belly as the boy lies on him and moans. "Ohhhhhhhhghhhh..." Louis moans, both hands glued to his sides. "Do you need to walk babe? Stand?" "Yeah....yeah, maybe..." Louis paces the room back and forth and eventually heads down the stairs in hopes to push the baby further down his birth canal. He instructs Harry to put plastic on the floor when he feels the pressure in his belly increase. Harry does exactly as he says and waits patiently by the couch. Louis grips onto the wall and groans out, dipping into a deep squat and pressing his face to his arm. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhhhghhh...mmmmmmmmmmmghhhhhhh-ahhh....hoh....hoh..." "Babe, do you-" "Please don't talk right now, Harry. I love you, I'm sorry but ohhhhhhhhhhh I'm in so much pain...hohhhhhghhhhnghhhhhhhh...." He grips onto his thigh and leans all of his weight down and pushes hard, grunting and groaning. "Mmmmmmmmghhhhhohhhhhhhh..." He feels liquid fall from him and groans, stepping out from his boxers before bending down and pushing hard. "Hohhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" He feels the baby's head at the base of his opening and pushing hard again. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhohhhhhhh..." He feels the baby's heard emerge and places a hand beneath him, holding her steady. He pushes again and feels her move slightly forward. He straightens back up and throws his head back with a groan, before squatting deep again and placing a hand back beneath him. He only pushes four more times before their sweet ten pound chunky baby girl is in his arms. Harry cuddles them both in and kisses the top of each head. "So much for just the two of us this weekend." He repeats with a soft laugh. And this time, Louis doesn't disagree.

[thedragonsteaparty]

After my fleeting romance with a sickly rock dove named Ryouta, who I met through Hatoful Boyfriend (ending at his sickly demise), I decided to try my luck with a different species, a human. Can you imagine such a thing? The scandal has made things difficult to say the least. I, Papa Squatts, moved into a cul-de-sac with my awesome daughter Amanda where I met lots of other single dads that also live there, very convenient and very exciting. I quickly narrowed down my favourites: Robert (the bad dad), Joseph (the good dad) and Craig (the fit dad – fit as in ooh lala you so handsome and gym 24 hours a day fit. Even my mum said she fancied this one – until she saw the baby strapped to his chest – so you know he’s good).

I went on a couple of dates with all of them, sparking lovely little moments like this one:

Just to clarify we were looking for a toy capybara, not a real one

And this one…

It’s OK, we just did some whittling, I made a toothpick

And this…

Him to the DJ, not to me. It’s true though, Radiohead are amazing but very depressing

Joseph ended up winning me over, mainly because of his wife to be honest, she’s a dick and while I was on my date with Robert she tags along and flirts with everything male in the bar so I felt like Joseph needed to be saved from this 2-dimensional Jezebel.

Yep… Totally my intention

That’s how our relationship may have started (well that and making brownies, that was fun although I did kinda want real brownies afterwards…) but on our second date I was overcome with how sweet he was. We did some dad dancing to spice up the empty dance floor at the youth club dance, finishing off with the move from Dirty Dancing, and then he showed me a surprise Margaritaville he’d set up in the church office just for me where we sat in deck chairs, sipped margaritas and chatted about things. It was so lovely. Here’s a little photo album of our best moments… JOSEPH STORY LINE SPOILERS

    No one was on the dance floor, our dad eyes connected… We needed to get this party started

I got Amanda to safety

Which dance move to impress with first? (I chose the Lawnmower)

Hell yeah

OMG this is adorable, we talked about this before and he remembered, this man is so sweet…

Date 3… Hell yeah

Indeed

Me deciding what to yell at the ocean, I chose option 2

HELL YES!!!! WOOOOOOOO

After this, my dear readers, we made tender (though censored) love down in the cabin of his yacht (you don’t see anything, it’s all dark screen, very PG). I thought everything was going brilliantly, he’d broken up with Mary… Everything was awesome… Until it wasn’t.

Maybe you noticed how some of those pictures had tear stains and ice cream smudges all over them, hold on to your hats because here comes the emotional epilogue…

Wait, what?

No!

NOOOO!!!!

You arsehole, you’re worse than your bitchy wife, I can’t believe this, I gave you everything! I didn’t go on my third date with Robert for you!!! You absolute twat!

I couldn’t believe it, what had I done wrong? Could it be that our last date only getting ranked as a ‘B’ meant that things didn’t work out? I was so heartbroken and upset, I can’t believe Joseph would do that to me after all we’d been through. I sat and ate some ice cream alone for a while then Amanda came up and made me feel better. Instead of ending up with a boyfriend I got the World’s Best Dad Achievement.

Her face doesn’t look sincere but she totally was, she’s just embarassed

Amanda is so great, and I’m not just saying that because she made me feel better at the end of the game (Aha! Yes, t’was a game this whole time!) She radiates cool and your relationship is something akin to Rory and Lorelei in Gilmore Girls (if Lorelei was a man) so there’s loads of playful banter between you but also parental responsibilities that, as a single father, you try to handle as best as you can.

In case you hadn’t guessed after that emotional rollercoaster, this is my of course Dream Daddy, a dad dating simulator game but don’t let that kinda creepy description put you off, this game is amazing. I haven’t laughed so much while playing a game (well I’ve laughed at games but not with them, this one is a laugh with game) since I played Portal. It is so well written and genuinely funny. Long term Tea Party readers might be thinking I’m a little biased because I’m a big Game Grumps fan (they created it) but honestly it’s nothing to do with that, it’s just a really good game. The premise is that you move into a dad-populated cul-de-sac with your daughter Amanda, You then meet all the dads that live conveniently close to you in the cul-de-sac and make friends, they add you on Dadbook (a cross between Tinder and Facebook I guess) and through that you can choose who to go on a date with. It sounds kind of weird and lame but trust me, it’s great.

So aside from my wonderful whirlwind romance with Joseph what else is great about this game? Well, considering everything is described to you in text and you don’t really see any animation other than characters’ facial features and stances changing, or the shower of hearts and aubergine emojis that appear when you do something that another dad likes (seriously), it’s surprisingly easy to picture what is happening and get immersed in the story. I can almost imagine this game coming out as a book. The jokes are great and all the characters are likeable, except some of the kids, I even actually kind of like Mary, Joseph’s bitchy wife (ashamed as I am to admit this I literally just got the ‘Mary and Joseph’ thing as I was typing this. Eurgh. And their kids’ names are all variations of Chris… As in Christ… Euuurrrghhh.) She has a dark sense of humour which I kind of like and I think she’d be fun on a night out.

Your daughter Amanda is a brilliant character too. Her personality really comes through and the voice actress for her deserves a medal or something because a lot of that is thanks to her – she manages to bring Amanda to life with minimal voice acting, but it adds so much. I want to be friends with Amanda, she’s awesome. We had some great times through the bad and the good, including some surprisingly sweet, sincere advice from your own character to your daughter having a tough time.

This resonated a lot with me because my mum told me almost exactly the same thing once when I was having a teenage friend drama. Kind of feel bad for giving Papa that face now to deliver those nice lines.

Seriously, your relationship with your daughter is incredible

So to cap off this amazing game, Joseph had to get one last jab in didn’t he… Arse. If he thinks I’m going to pursue him in my next playthrough then he is 100% wrong, that ship has sailed Joseph (or yacht, like the yacht we hung out on that one time… Where you said you *sniff* liked me… And we… *sobs uncontrollably*). Maybe Robert will have me back in my next game…

Seriously. fuck this guy

Dragons’ Tea Party’s Quest to Find Virtual Love Continues After my fleeting romance with a sickly rock dove named Ryouta, who I met through Hatoful Boyfriend…