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ot3-watch · 3 years

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Episode 3: The Wedding Job

And so we begin the “The Network Fucked Up” saga with episode 7 which is SUPPOSED to be episode 3.

Huge men drinking out of tiny teacups is hilarious and will never stop being so.

Nate, stop being such a control freak. “I thought I pick the clients” DUDE CHILL

“No more, no less” honey you getting much more

“We’ll get back to you” FUCK YOU NATE

PARKER LOVES KIDS EPISODE 1

NATE IF YOU HAD FOUND THIS CASE YOU’D TAKE IT IN AN INSTANT YOU’RE JUST MAD YOU DIDN’T FIND IT

FBI!!! TAGGERT AND MCSWEETEN!! AHH OKAY I LOVE THEM

“They just need validation” BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

TODAY IN THEY MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNNECESSARILY STUPID

Hardison is so gregarious it’s so amazing to watch

“I don’t have to type anything right” oh my god

TAPES! “HARDISON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT OF THE FBI OFFICES WITH A BOX FULL OF TAPES?” “pUNCH someBODY!” “oh I’m gonna PUNCH SOMEBODY” God i love them

Jersey Boys I can’t, it’s terrible guys. Do mobsters have no taste

Oh look, it’s that woman who’s in EVERYTHING

What is Parker wearing on her head

Everyone talks about bridezillas, but no one talks about mother of the bridezillas.

WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER IN THE FIRST PLACE

SOPHIE FOCUSING ON HER PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH NATE INSTEAD OF THE JOB EPISODE 1

ELIOT THE CHEF EPISODE 1

HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM

ELIOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO HIS COVER STORY AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE JOB EPISODE 1

He’s so mad that she doesn’t like it I lovehim I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE ELIOT SPENCER

“Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house” WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU

How the fuck is the dress so ugly? WHY IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT? WHO WEARS PINK RUCHED SATIN WITH BLUE FLOWERS

I mean, other than, like, me @6 years old. But really, no one should be wearing the clothes I wore at 6 years old.

Also it’s just.. the worst length. Like if it was a long dress it might be better.

Nate the pastor episode 1

God that future son in law seems like a dream guy I love him

Maria Moscone deserves better than her scumbag parents let’s be real

SOPHIE TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY AND GETTING THE WAY OF THE JOB

THIS!!! THIS IS WHY THE NETWORK ORDER MAKES NO SENSE!!! THIS HERE’S AN AIMEE REFERENCE BUT IF THEY’D ALREADY DONE THE TWO HORSE JOB, HARDISON WOULD’VE KNOWN ABOUT HER AND NOT ASKED

“What did you do?” “Me? I liberated CROATIA!” *angry apple bite* i CAN’T I LOVE HIM

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW PARKER ISN’T A BRIDESMAID? HOW IS THAT DRESS FOOLING ANYONE

Hardison in love with Parker is so pure

… Okay but shouldn’t maria and blonde n’ bitchy know that Parker isn’t a bridesmaid? Wouldn’t the other bridesmaids know? Why does no one in the wedding party question ANYTHING?

HARDISON’S SCARF THOUGH

WHY IS HER MOTHER WEARING WHITE?? WHO WEARS WHITE TO A WEDDING WTF

MARIA MOSCONE DESERVES BETTER

SOPHIE FUCK OFF!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?? THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT SOPHIE!! SOPHIE STOP IT!! SOPHIE SHUT UP!

M A R I A M O S C O N E D E S E R V E S B E T T E R

The Butcher of Kiev is the best subplot of this episode but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY ALL KNOW HE AND ELIOT HAD A PAST

Sophie is so fucking annoying in this episode I hate her right now

THESE PEACHES AREN’T GONNA POACH THEMSELVES PARKER

OH MY GOD NATE SHUT UP

NATE SHUT UP

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS NATE

SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU NATE

“In my day, no one would do business at their daughter’s wedding” WELL THEN DON’T DO BUSINESS

Parker’s face smushed against the glass is great

Ahh yes, you don’t get the money so you SHOOT THE BRIDE. Because THAT’s not gonna cause a scene and get you arrested.

OK be honest is there anyone who was surprised by the wife being responsible? Bc I’m not

Eliot’s face is like “TFW the guy whose face you burned shows up at a wedding you’re supposed to be pretending to but actually are catering with a cleaver and backup and the overwhelming urge to kill you”

I know that’s super specific but that’s what it is

Parker’s really good at playing drunk

But also, why did they not question what she was doing behind the curtain

Like she just happened to appear after they were finished talking about VERY ILLEGAL THINGS and they aren’t at all suspicious?

Also, Parker using Hardison as a cover is just… I love it.

You’re laughing. Eliot brought a whisk to a knife fight and you’re laughing.

The saddest part is Eliot has any sort of cooking implement. You should be terrified right now

Okay so let me get this straight. A guy is StrANGLING you, you get your hands on a rolling pin, and your instinct isn’t, “hey, I can use this rolling pin to clobber him over the head,” the instinct is “Let me use this rolling pin to get my hands on the appetizers?” Like, yes, lemon juice, but also ROLLING PINS ARE HEAVY AND YOU COULD AT LEAST KNOCK THE GUY OUT

But no, let me shove fucking MUSHROOMS in his eyes because otherwise how else would we get the symmetry of the butcher yelling “IT BUUUURRRNNNNSS” both times he fights Eliot

And then he uses the fucking serving tray to bonk him on the head INSTEAD OF THE DUCKING ROLLING PIN

LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU EVER USED A ROLLING PIN AS A WEAPON

I’M NOT SAYING I HAVE BUT OUCH

Like, just… If I had a choice between being hit over the head with a thin sheet of metal or a log of wood with metal inside it, I’d pick the sheet, because at least that one has some give.

“It’s the lemon juice” How does Eliot make that sound badass

“You just kill a guy with an appetizer?” How the FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT??

WHY DOES NO ONE ASSUME A ROLLING PIN WOULD BE AN OKAY WEAPON

Or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN THAT KITCHEN. THERE ARE CAST IRON PANS IN THAT KITCHEN. Or just liek… regular pans. HAVE YOU EVER DROPPED A NONSTICK PAN ON YOUR FOOT? IT FUCKING HURTS?? WHY IS THE APPETIZER YOUR FIRST INSTINCT NATE

Also, he’s clearly not dead. What the fuck

“I don’t know, maybe” I KNOW AND tHE ANSWER IS NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN”T

...who honeymoons in Kansas? Is that a thing?

They are a very cute couple i’ve gotta be honest

“Exactly what denomination are you reverend?” He isn’t

“You’re not Mary Poppins, youre a bitch” Okay pot. Okay.

LITERALLY THAT FUCKING HANDBAG WOULD AHVE MADE A BETTER WEAPON THAN THE MUSHROOMS

How does Hardison remember all those numbers? He didn’t even hear a bunch of them, but he takes the book out so slowly? DOES HARDISON HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY? WHY IS THAT NOT A PLOT POINT MORE OFTEN

Like I’m just saying, someone tries to tell me their phone number more than 3-4 numbers at a time and I get confused. But hardison just… remembers

What happened to the cash? The daughter gets the fucking wedding present she DESERVES for putting up with her awful parents that’s what

Hardison appreciating Eliot’s cooking is EVERYTHING

“I left him five dollars for socks” Well everyone needs socks.

Okay wait I just had a thought

If Nate isn’t an actual Reverend, is that marriage even legal? Does Nate just happen to also be a legally ordained minister? Did they have to get him an online ordainment? WhY did we not see that scene? WHAT IF HE’S NOT AND THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY MARRIED

And today on “I clearly think far too much about these things”

PARKER WIth KIDS IS EVERYTHING

Eliot cooking for his family I love it

ELIOT IN A TANK TOP I LOVE IT

Was Eliot’s arms the most important part of this scene? Probably not

Is it the only thing I care about? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

I”M A SIMPLE GIRL AND HE HAS VERY NICE ARMS OKAY

Final thoughts: 9/10. I love this episode so much guys. Points off because really who the fuck wears white to a wedding. I know that’s the point but its very off putting. Also for the bridesmaid dresses because they were ugly as sin. Actual point off for the wife secretly being awful. Very predictable, ew. Extra points for Chef!Eliot. Extra points for Eliot’s arms. Points off for Nate and Sophie being completely insufferable. Extra points for Parker being great in this episode. Points off for the FUCKING ROLLING PIN YES I’M STILL ANGRY DONT @ ME. Extra points for Eliot killing a man with an appetizer because it’s still funny. Extra points for no IYS or Sam references THANK THE FUCKING LORD. Or, at least, if there was, i didn’t notice, meaning it wasn’t egregious so whatever. So yeah, anyway I really fucking love this episode.

IYS Count: 2/3

Sam Count: 2/3 AND WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF FOR IT

#leverage #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker #sophie devereaux #nathan ford #ot3 #leverage ot3 #the wedding job

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ♥ hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

#and of course this is a matter of opinion i'm not expecting everyone to agree w me Howver #i think you'd also be hard pressed to talk me out of my opinion #like the closer you get to the top there's more wiggle room like what's the best season i think changes with the wind #but the shit tier stays shit tier in my mind it's a matter of personal preference and i personally prefer my season to be good #charmed #💌

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hannie-dul-set · 4 years

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who in svt would agree to rob someone's house with you

first of all, stealing is a crime what the hell. second of all— be sure to be strapped with the right equipment, wear dark clothing, and make sure that the person you're stealing from is a rich, privileged, capitalist bastard that deserves to get all their belongings stripped from them <3 have fun!!

seungcheol: "cheol, wanna rob a h—" sirens ring, people (seungcheol) start(s) screaming, and all of a sudden you're locked up in a room. i'm sorry but mr. choi will NOT tolerate nor condone any behavior of such. you're behind bars now, criminal "cheol this is your bathroo—" BEHIND BARS SHUT UP. he'll let you out after maybe 15 minutes because he'd start to feel bad that you're locked in there and will lock himself up instead cause of the guilt </3 | rating: 2/10 if you like getting locked up/handcuffed you nasty.

jeonghan: dude can get away with extortion, dude can get away with tax evasion, dude can get away with MURDER you think he'd get his hands dirty for something so small such as robbery? psh, alright fine since you asked. you're like "uh, han where did you get these grappling hooks?? and ski masks??" and he's like shh a magician never reveals his secret now help me break open this window | rating: 8/10 only because he'd throw you under the bus if you get caught lmao good luck playing with fire.

joshua: "no ❤" he'd gently decline, but he wouldn't stop you. he'd even volunteer to bail you out if you get caught awh how sweet <33 shua doesn't want to get involved in any of your fiendish tendencies, he has a gentleman persona he has to keep up and you won't get him to commmit theft no matter HOW tempting and fun you make it out to be. you're like "but josh, i'm robbing jeonghan" and he'd be like SWEATS "uh,, give me some time to think" | rating: 5/10 he ends up agreeing to rob jeonghan and you both end up getting caught but at least you're caught together!

junhui: he'd be like "oh yeah sure sounds fun" dismissively. but when you pull up in front of his house, rope in hand, dressed in black and everything he's like "OH,, right i forgot—" and you're like DAMMIT junhui but he still comes with you anyway. you ultimately regret your decision because the entire time he's like "what do we now? what's the hammer for? wait what exactly are we gonna steal?" and you're THIS close to committing murder, instead | rating: 5/10 because participation points.

soonyoung: in theory, he's ALL FOR IT like he would be so excited and enthusiastic he has an entire 47 step plan of absolute mastermind genius and he's like "this is FOOLPROOF we're gonna steal like thieves 😎" and you're like "soonyoung we ARE thieves". but in practice, uh. he's excited right. too excited. okay maybe OVER excited because holy fuck he's acting like this 007 agent or whatever. he ends up squealing cause wow!! i'm so badass!!! and you end up getting the cops on you rip | rating: 7/10 because the police chase is a whole 'nother story to unfold.

wonwoo: "alright, here's what you're gonna do—" the dude has read so much crime novels that he knows EXACTLY where you should enter, what you should bring, how to escape, where you should snack in case you get hungry but the thing is, he is NOT coming with you lmao. he's not dumb enough to risk it, sorry y/n <3 make sure to give him at least 50% of what you got though, he isn't giving this knowledge for free | rating: 6/10 because his tips were actually helpful but you had to do all the work so fuck you wonwoo i'm robbing you next.

jihoon: he would be helpful like REALLY helpful but hoonie doesn't want to </3 "oh? you wanna be a criminal? good luck i guess?" proceeds to delete you from his contacts because he doesn't want to have connections with a thief rip. but maybe if you're like "jihoon pls i have negative dollars in my bank account you're anti-poor if you don't help me" and he'd be like "that's it??? here bitch eat" then he'd throw money at you like it's nothing and it IS nothing because jihoon rich | rating: technically a 1/10 but is it really a loss if you got cash.

minghao: i don't know how to tell you this but minghao is the exact guy i would steal from and he'd probably let you so | rating: invalid. everyone let's eat the rich and we're starting with hao <3

mingyu: oh no. oh nono sweetie what are you getting yourself into this is a bad idea but if you're one for bad ideas then alright. he'd be too scared to actually rob the place so he just volunteers to be your lookout!! that would be good right? no risk that he'd break something while you're sleuthing?? right?? WRONG like i said he's nervous bcs omg what if i get caught?? WHO'S GONNA FEED BOBPUL??? he'd panic, blowing your cover and oops you're at the police station now | rating: 4/10 you didn't get to steal anything but his spider legs managed to get you guys away.

seokmin: ....why? he'd try to convince you not to like he will CRY just so you won't actually do it because why would you want to steal? :< normally you'd just say nevermind!!! i won't steal ahaha that was a joke yes a joke. but if you're a DEMON and would actually push through it, expect a million calls and texts from seokmin as you're trying to rob. it would be sweet because awh kyeom is worried <3 but it's all heart eyes and uwuwu's until aju nice starts blaring from your phone for the 37th time that night | rating: 0/10 infinite aju nice can't save you this time.

seungkwan: well he won't necessarily agree to help you. he's just there to watch you in case things go wrong because that's a free show, ladies and gents!! you're like "kwan, help me climb up this window" and he's like lol. good luck. victory is fruitless without a struggle <33 you end up breaking a vase?? hilarious. you can't find the keys to the door? lmao what a loser? the house owner is actually your ex and you're trying to get revenge? oh my god WHERE is the popcorn | rating: 3/10 because he has everything on tape and yeah it was pretty entertaining.

vernon: he's down. absolutely. just tell him what to do and he'd to it with flawless execution. a clean robery not even sherlock holmes can tell that you broke in. suddenly it became a regular thing between the both of you and would you look at that!! robin hood duo on the rise in town— says the local paper. what's this? you two have fans now? damn looks like stealing was the way to go, after all | rating: 10/10 rob. help the poor. publicity. rich and famous.

chan: veryyy hesitant at first but you manage to coax him into it by saying that this will probably end up in the news and he's like "news??? i'll be on the news??? nEWSHSHSJSJ??" and you're like "yeah but let's make sure to keep our names out of that alright" and so he agrees. you two are ambitious so you rob a fucking mansion with state of the art security but no technology can beat a lee chan who wants to go down in history | rating: 9/10 minus one point because you two were too good and there was no entertainment value </3

#reposting because tumblr sucks #</3 #its started with kisses. then fights. and now we're committing a crime lmao what's good #this is my stress reliever so i'm sorry (not really) if you guys are sick of this <3 bcs im not HAHAH #seventeen #svt #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seventeen shitpost #svt shitpost

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itsclownhours · 3 years

Conversation

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

morgause: customer (derogatory)

arthur: business major (derogatory)

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

morgana: i have no self of steam

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

gwaine: turn down for whom?

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

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lovingtheway · 4 years

Text

Reading Habits

Tagged by @ezraslittlebirdie thanks my dear 😘💜

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?

Mostly likely my bed? Sometimes in the couch

2. Do you use bookmarks? If so, what kind?

Yes, the little magnetic ones you get in Walmart for like a dollar. Sometimes receipts if there's nothing else

3. Can you stop reading or do you have to make it to the end of the chapter?

I try to make it to the end of the chapter just to make my life easier but it doesn't always work. Sometimes I'll put the book down halfway and just not come back

4. Do you eat or drink while reading?

I'll read if I'm eating alone. But if I take time to read a book I probably only have water nearby and I have to refill it multiple time throughout a book

5. Music or tv while reading?

I have a playlist of all my favorite classical or instrumental music for when I read. If the music has lyrics I just end up singing along and don't read but I need background noise bc silence is scary

6. One book at a time or multiple?

I read anywhere so sometimes I'll start a new book at work and read another at home and another at someone else's house, so I always have like five books that I'm reading at the same time

7. Reading at home or while out?

Both. If I'm in on my own or waiting for someone, I almost always have a book on me

8. Reading out loud or silently?

Silently most of the time but sometimes out loud just to annoy my sister. Also to be dramatic

9. Do you read ahead or skip pages?

My worst habit is skimming ahead when the plot gets tense. I want to be prepared for the blow so it doesn't hurt as much but then I still have to double back and it just takes longer to finish a book. Oooh or when there's multiple point of views and I don't really care for one of the characters, I'll skip their pov and then have to come back anyways. I'm the worst

10. Breaking the spine?

This actually used to give me lots of anxiety when I was younger bc then the books were no longer 'perfect' but I've grown past that. That's what proves a book has actually been read and enjoyed

11. Do you write in your books?

Yes, but mostly in the ones that mean a lot to me or 'make me feel something'. Those are also the ones I never lend to anyone bc I'm scared they'll see too much of me

Tagged (but no pressure): @murdermewithbooks @caffinatedstudyspace @destucky45 @aerynwrites @takemepedropascal @longitud-de-onda @hiscyarika @lovely2beme @mostly-megan @aint-that-a-mcfreakin-bitch @halefirewarrior

#reading habits #tagged #me #books

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sleepy-space-nerd · 4 years

Note

yeah go with hamratio pls i sadly don't remember enough of your fav ship from latest sis to ask for anything else. tho u can also go with resol/renniw. I dont even remember if they're supposed to have a romo/sexual relationship so uh do the version u like best.

Awww yeah let’s do this!!!

HAMRATIO

General:

How long will they last? - Until they both die

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fell in love extremely quickly but understood their feelings as love years later

How was their first kiss? - Awful. Sloppy teenagers. But they still liked it.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Hamlet! Fancy bitch!!!

Who is the best man/men? - Ros and Guil as one entity

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Ophelia

Who did the most planning? - Hamlet, he wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect! But Horatio did a lot too

Who stressed the most? - Horatio poor boy did the boring stuff and had to invite a lot of ppl he didn’t know!

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Laertes (he’s still mad about it)

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch a lot, but usually Horatio

Who is the one to instigate things? - Hamlet, slut rights

How healthy is their sex life? - (Hamlet is a 9 but Horatio a 4. They make it work)

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - (Despite the rumors, Hamlet is not that kinky at all! Horatio just isn’t.) Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I have no idea what’s standard but like... yeah standard.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They WILL fight to make sure the other is getting plenty of orgasms

How rough are they in bed? - (Softest bitches out there. 2 bc Hamlet likes to try things sometimes.) Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - (Horatio isn’t too comfortable with PDA so when they’re alone they cuddle A LOT. Like. EXTREME CUDDLE TIME) No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 0 bc Hamlet doesn’t wanna bear children

How many children will they adopt? - They won’t adopt, but they’ll be parental figures for Ophelia’s child(ren)!

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Hamlet

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re all soft marshmallows no strictness in this house

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Horatio

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Horatio

Who is the more loved parent? - Even if the kid is Ophelia’s, it’ll probably be cool uncle Hamlet

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? what is PTA im french

Who cried the most at graduation? - Hamlet, emo bitch

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hamlet, be gay do crimes

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Horatio. He’s not the best cook but Hamlet just. doesn’t cook. at all

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Hamlet

Who does the grocery shopping? - Hamlet since he’s not the one doing the cooking

How often do they bake desserts? - Very often! They both like sweets!

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Hamlet is a meat lover. Horatio can’t decide.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Horatio

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hamlet

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Hamlet

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? - Hamlet

Who cleans up after the pets? - Hamlet

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Hamlet

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Horatio

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Horatio

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hamlet, always extra

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - First of all they have a cat, so nobody

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They decorate for Halloween and a very special holiday called “that day I beat Laertes in a duel”

What are their goals for the relationship? - They hope they can live together until the end of their lives without anybody bothering them

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Hamlet

Who plays the most pranks? - Hamleeeeeeeeeet

Resol x Renniw (OCs)

General:

How long will they last? - Maybe not forever, especially since one is a criminal, but they will always have a place at the back of each other’s minds

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - They’re not in a romantic relationship and it’s based on misunderstandings but... Renniw liked Resol quickly! Resol still tries to tell himself he doesn’t like Renniw

How was their first kiss? - Hasn’t happened (yet? idk)

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 0

How many children will they adopt? - A ton. They have a bunch of love to give and Resol wants to love his children SO MUCH bc his parents were terrible to him

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Resol

Who is the stricter parent? - Resol will tell them that lying and stealing is bad and then put on a cape and go take a supermarket hostage just to steal some lollipops

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - BOTH

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Renniw

Who is the more loved parent? - Both, come on!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? again, im french idk what that is

Who cried the most at graduation? - Renniw (Resol cried the same amount but after graduation, in the bathroom)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Resol since he already bullshits his way through the law

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - None realy...

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Renniw

Who does the grocery shopping? - Resol, but he’ll come back with only instant noodles

How often do they bake desserts? - They don’t bake but Resol will steal some desserts to give Renniw

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - They both try to eat less meat for the environment but they have the eating habits of college freshmen so....

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Resol! It won’t be legal but it WILL be fun!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Renniw

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Both...

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Resol, he can’t live in a dirty place

Who is really against chores? - None of them, they know they have to do it anyway

Who cleans up after the pets? - Resol since it’s his cat!

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Nobody

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - None, but Resol will hide as long as possible. It’s not stress, he just doesn’t like people in general.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Renniw. It was a stollen dollar Resol forgot.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - They shower together to save up water and money so it’s the same time

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Resol has a cat who’s very independant.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Renniw does it for every holiday! Resol goes full decoration mode for Halloween ONLY

What are their goals for the relationship? - Renniw wants to get past Resol’s walls and get to know him better. Resol wishes they could stay like that forever but know that one day, he’ll have to say it’s over between them. He doesn’t want to think about it.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Renniw maybe? Resol is an early bird

Who plays the most pranks? - Well, Resol, kinda obvious

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brettyimages · 5 years

Note

all of them. U know u want to

omg ok, i did the ones you said you wanted to do all of bc even though i didn’t rb them tonight, the little rb sign was lit up so i must have done at some point i hope that’s the ones i was meant to do!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? The last person I messaged was @llllusion so that’d be weird since we live on opposite sides of the planet so probably like “how did this happen?”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?Nothing at all.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?Yes, I would care. Whether or not it would be a problem is a different question

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?Nope, only 5

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Lol yes of course

7. What does your last received text say?“Feel it girl”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?I guess a few times

9. Where was your last kiss at?At the end of a little path in town

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?I don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?Chocolate milk, usually

12. Where did you sleep last night?In my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?Yeah

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Yeah, I wouldn’t apply for promotion

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?Yeah, I don’t want to speak to him

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?I don’t

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Pyjama pants, they have stars on them

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?No, probably not

20. Does anyone like you?No, probably not

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?No

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?No

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?There are people I don’t like but I’m able to be civil

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?Not really

25. In the past week have you cried?No

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I can’t remember. I don’t really know dog breeds.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?A bit of both?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?No

29. Do you think you’re old?A little, like I’ve missed out on a lot of things

30. Do you like text messaging?Yeah

31. What type of day are you having?It’s been fine, like a little better than usual but by no means exciting

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?A little, but not seriously

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Cold, it’s the first warm day of the year and my room is very warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?Yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?I don’t know????

37. What song are you listening to?I’m not right now, I’m watching The Office

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Usually39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?No40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Finding out we had things in common even though I thought we were really different41. When did you last receive a text message?A few hours ago42. What is wrong with you right now?Too hot!43. How well do you know the last female you texted?Not super well44. Does anyone disgust you?Yes. Found out a guy I work with brushes his teeth max twice a week45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?I mean, depends who, but yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?Relatively47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My brother48. What color shirt are you wearing?Lilac49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?Yeah50. Anyone you’re giving up on?A little51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?No

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?Yes, probably53. Do you like rain?I’d like rain just now because of the heat 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?Yeah, to an extent55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yes, always56. Do you like to cuddle?Yes57. Are you shy?Yeah, around new people 58. Do you get along with girls?Not very often, tbh, but I think it just happens that I work in a male-dominated place so I have a lot of male friends?59. Have you dated the person you texted last?No 60. What do you carry with you at all times?My phone, mostly 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?Yes 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?I think so 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?No 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Indescribably65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?I saw Brett Anderson smile???

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?There aren’t 3 lol but a couple of years older than me

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? I love to do them myself!68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Leopard print69. Do you have any stickers on your car? I don’t have a car70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Lil Wayne - fun fact when I was like 16 I was obsessed with his song I Feel Like Dying71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? I’m an iPhone bitch72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Um, a few months ago when I was on business73. Do you like diet soda? I do not74. What color are the walls in your room? White :\75. Are you 16 or older? Older!76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? I never have77. Do you have a job? Yes, today is my 3.5 year anniversary of starting at my company 78. What are your initials? RGS79. Did you ever have braces? No, I went to the orthodontist and cried and didn’t want to 80. Are you from the south? South of Scotland

81. What does your last status on facebook say? “Tonight I saw Suede for the first time!” with a video of them playing Trash82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? No83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Equal?84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Yeah! We had a little cheerleading squad in primary school and I got to be in it85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Captain Marvel86. Do you smoke? No87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? I wear flipflops in the house, I don’t wear heels really unless they’re on platforms

88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes! How long ago were these questions drafted?

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? It’s wavy90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Tried to91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool92. Have you ever made out in a car? No93. …Had sex in a car? No, but tell Justine Frischmann to call me any time94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleeping96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Bonfire night, probably97. Do you like the camera on your phone? It’s fine?98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Not hate but dislike, yeah101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? No102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Tik Tok is the only one I can remember the name of rn103. Do you have any tan lines right now? I have never had tan lines, only sunburn104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I wouldn’t wear cowboy boots full stop

#these were v old questions and not even fun but never mind #retailgoth #Messages

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t0m0kii · 5 years

Note

1-99

you think this is a game anon? you send in 1-99 i’m gonna do 1-99 so HERE WE H*CKING GO

“1) Sexuality?”

bi! even tho i’m not attracted to many boys (and i actually only seriously like one) i still consider myself to be a groovy bisexual

“2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?”

any of the monkees! but also paul mccartney!

“3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.”

here’s an excerpt from the nearest book, ‘‘the everything reading music book’‘: “The terms measure and bar can be used in place of one another - they mean the same thing.” very educational!

“4) What do you think about most?”

it’s probably pathetic but i probably think about story concepts the most! either that or monkees stuff but sometimes they can be the same thing

“5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?”

my latest text is from my dude sean a.k.a joj-n-ringo who said that he sent me loads of asks about nwa but somehow i didn’t get any of them

“6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?”

always with! sleeping naked is weird and plus i hate my body and don’t wanna look at it SKJALKJAKLHDKSJLKN

“7) What’s your strangest talent?”

i dunno! i don’t really have any weird talents!

“8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)”

girls…are neat! boys…are also neat!

“9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?”

no one’s ever written me a song but i’ve had friends write me poems before! it’s nice and i love it

“10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?”

hm……when’s the last time i listened to joe walsh’s life’s been good……………probably then!

“11) Do you have any strange phobias?”

i don’t know if it counts as a phobia but i get really bothered when i see shirtless pics of people and their ribs are visible like idk what it is but eeeee i don’t like it

“12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?”

not that i can remember, lmao

“13) What’s your religion?”

i’m not like a diehard religion fanatic but i was raised christian and still sorta stand by it yknow

“14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?”

looking at the area around me, even if i’ve seen the place a thousand times, i’m always just lookin around lmao

“15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?”

it depends! mostly i like being in front tho jdhbkjfhdjfls

“16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?”

the monkees! those four idiots have my whole heart

“17) What was the last lie you told?”

my mom asked me if i did my homework yesterday and i lied and said i did it at school BUT I DID DO MOST OF IT THERE SO WHEN I BROUGHT IT HOME I DIDN’T HAVE A LOT TO DO

“18) Do you believe in karma?”

i guess so! what goes around comes around i’d suppose

“19) What does your URL mean?”

it’s named somewhat after my favorite anime character tomoko kuroki bc i love her and she’s a big mood

“20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?”

i think my greatest weakness would be that i jump to conclusions without any reason yknow but i think my biggest strength would be either my writing abilities or my ability to sorta see through people and see exactly what type of person they are

“21) Who is your celebrity crush?”

davy jones !!!!!! i love him so much !!!!!!!!!!

“22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”

hELL NO i would never i’m way too modest for that sjsklaskjdkbfnj

“23) How do you vent your anger?”

usually i talk to someone about it who’d understand but sometimes when i don’t want to bug anyone i just scribble it all down

“24) Do you have a collection of anything?”i have a record collection! and a cd and tape collection, i mostly just collect music stuff kshsjlbsjk

“25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?”

i don’t really like either but i prefer talking on the phone!

“26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?”

not entirely

“27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?”

i hate the sound of babies screaming like i don’t hate children but uGH it kills my ears and a sound i love is the sound of tambourines! i love those lil things they do a good noise

“28) What’s your biggest “what if”?”

what if it’s all for nothing (this could apply to several things)

“29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?”

i dunno about aliens but i think there are ghosts! i’d love to be friends with a ghost like. imagine

“30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.”

with my right i touch my phone first! and with my left i touch my 3ds

“31) Smell the air. What do you smell?”

it smells like……………………………..air

“32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?”

i dunno i’ve never really been anywhere super terrible

“33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?”

uhhh east?

“34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?”

DAVY JONES OF COURSEEEEE

“35) To you, what is the meaning of life?”

to give it meaning

“36) Define Art.”

art is whatever you make it tbh, something that inspires

“37) Do you believe in luck?”

i guess! even tho i have the worst luck ever

“38) What’s the weather like right now?”

cold and windy it SUCKS

“39) What time is it?”

at the time of writing this answer it’s 8:37 pm!

“40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?”

i’m too young to drive so i’ve never done it bsjhklskjdvbfjdsk

“41) What was the last book you read?”

i admit i write more than i read but i believe the last time i read a book was yesterday when i was reading one of my how-to-read-sheet-music books from the library

“42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?”

i can tolerate it but i wouldn’t want to sit and smell it for hours

“43) Do you have any nicknames?”

not really! if you gave me one that’d be neat

“44) What was the last movie you saw?”

last time i watched a movie was when i rewatched the beatles movie ‘‘help!’‘ it’s a rlly good movie i love it

“45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?”

uh once i broke my arm in kindergarten but i think that’d be it

“46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?”

like in a net? no but i’d really like tooooo i think it’d be neat

“47) Do you have any obsessions right now?”

MONKEESSSSSS I’VE BEEN HYPERFIXING ON THE MONKEES FOR NEARLY A YEAR NOW I JUST LOVE THOSE FOUR DUMBASSES ESPECIALLY THE SHORT ONE THAT TALKS FUNNY

“48) What’s your sexual orientation?”

i’m a girl! born a girl and i have stayed a girl since. wild

“49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?”

not that i know of sjhskdksl is that a good thing??

“50) Do you believe in magic?”

perhaps it’s out there and someone’s just keeping it to themselves WHICH WOULD SUCK BC GIVE ME SOME MAGIC YOU FUCK

“51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?”

i forgive but never forget

“52) What is your astrological sign?”

since i was born on november 8th i’d be a scorpio!

“53) Do you save money or spend it?”

i’m terrible at saving money but i’m a wiz at spending it

“54) What’s the last thing you purchased?”

my monkees shirt! i love that thing even tho it was 90 dollars on etsy but lemme tell ya it’s 90 dollars well spent

“55) Love or lust?”

love !!!!!!!!!!

“56) In a relationship?”

in my daydream universe i’m the lovely intelligent wife of davy jones but in reality i’m a lonely bitch skjfhdsjflsj;fdkk

“57) How many relationships have you had?”

i had a boyfriend for a week in kindergarten but only because he recognized me from sunday school and i’ve never had a relationship since

“58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?”

no and i can’t believe people can do that but some people can’t like HUH

“59) Where were you yesterday?”

i wasn’t anywhere near the crime scene officer i swear

“60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?”

on my desk next to my coaster is my pink rubber bracelet with a peter tork quote on it! and that’s not very far away so it counts!

“61) Are you wearing socks right now?”

the only time i’m not wearing socks is when i’m in the shower so yes

“62) What’s your favorite animal?”

the red panda !!!! i love those funky little dudes !!!!!!!

“63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?”

i really would not know my dude i mean just being myself i guess?? bold of you to assume people like me

“64) Where is your best friend?”

probably at their house being the greatest best friend ever

“65) Spit or swallow?(;”

i think when you’re brushing your teeth you literally have to spit you can’t just swallow that shit what the fuck if i find someone who does that i’ll ascend

“66) What is your heritage?”

i don’t really know! i mean i’m about as white as a piece of paper so

“67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?”

i told you before officer i wasn’t out doing illegal actions ((nah but seriously i was watching youtube i think))

“68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?”

bofa

“69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?”

honestly i never remember where my bus stop is i always just look out the window and see my house and i’m like oh shit time to skidaddle so i mostly rely on the bus driver for that. thanks bus driver

((yeah))

“70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?”

i think being friends with me would be alright maybe!

“71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?”

man fuck that guy i’m saving that fuckin dog then i’ll just show up with the dog and everyone will think it’s so cute that i won’t get fired. problem solved!

“72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?”

i guess everyone would already know but i’d finish everything i’d need to like writing projects and stuff, i’d make sure i’d do everything i need to before i had to die

“73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.”

where there’s trust there’s love so trust!

“74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?”

looking for the good times by the monkees never fails to make me smile! i just love davy a lot

“75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?”

7644!

“76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?”

a good relationship starts with a good friendship yknow. you have to be able to love and appreciate the person you’re with and accept them the way they are and not try to change them too much. and it also sorta all relies on trust. if you can trust who you’re with, you’re good to go. and if you feel like you’re unable to call them out when they do wrong or if they do/say something really bad and you just let it slide then that’s not good in a relationship i’d say

“77) How can I win your heart?”

be nice

“78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?”

maybe just a small, small amount but not a lot

“79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?”

deciding to listen to the monkees tbh bc !!! i love em !!!! have i mentioned this !!!!

“80) What size shoes do you wear?”

like size 11 or somethin like that

“81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?”

“bury me shallow because i’ll be back”

“82) What is your favorite word?”

my favorite word would probably be “lovely” bc it’s so fuckin !! good !!!!!!!

“83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.”

i always hear the word in davy’s voice and the way he says it LKDSLSKS he goes “h a h t” it’s cute

“84) What is a saying you say a lot?”

“it be like that sometimes”

“85) What’s the last song you listened to?”

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears! listening to it as i answer this actually

“86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?”

blue! really any shade of blue but especially light blue!

“87) What is your current desktop picture?”

i’ve said monkees too many times in this post but. them

“88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?”

the president bc he sucks

“89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?”

if someone outside of the internet asked if i were gay i think i’d be a little scared to answer bc yknow my whole family is homophobic and all that and sometimes you never can tell who is and who isn’t

“90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?”

introduce myself bc even if i’m scared i’m not about to be impolite

“91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?”

time travel !!!! they call me TIME TRAVELING PRODUCE AISLE

“92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?”

maybe a half hour of my first concert! it was a blast

“93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?”

developing depression

“94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?”

DAVY FUCKIN JONES but would we still see eachother afterwards is the question

“95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?”

manchester, england !!!!!!! i really want to go and i actually kinda wanna move there someday

“96) Do you have any relatives in jail?”

not that i know of i sure hope not lmao

“97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?”

once a long time ago

“98) Ever been on a plane?”

never bc my mom is super scared of heights and scared of planes and tbh i kinda don’t really like planes i prefer boats

“99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?”

i’d say listen to papa gene’s blues by the monkees and listen to mike nesmith go “yeeeeeehawwwww !!!!!!”

this took me an hour thanks anon

#oh boy #t0m0kii talks #long post

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qlmondmilk · 6 years

Text

reflex

pjm x reader. last day of summer, falling for a boy with telekinetic abilities + science crack.

part 1 of ? words: 1619

note: the first part as written a year before, so this was untouched for long, sitting in my drafts and gathering cobwebs. the build-up is so long but i'm sorta writing it with the most detail so it would smoothly run in your imagination?? like a tv show hehe

shitty title preview bc i know nothing about graphics

Jimin was pissed, to say the least.

The start of regular activity in San Fransokyo Institute of Technology was a sleep away, but no one in his university cared for a few more popsicles to consume and savor. Far too eager to start on their respective projects, almost everyone busied themselves with the sense of responsibility and the desire to create. This included Jimin's reasonable number of friends, leaving him to be the only one aching for the one day left for rest. Given that he'll celebrate the sunset alone, he declared that today would be somewhat peaceful.

Not.

Of all mornings to mess around with, Yoongi decided that Jimin would be a perfect lab rat for his seasonal crack project. Without any warning or whatsoever, Yoongi managed to wake up in the ungodly hours to set up a station and special headphones, testing if specific wavelengths and frequencies would easily influence an orgasm. On Jimin.

Jimin was happy to be greeted by a Daniel Caesar song, but not too keen on flushing red for having to cover and change his embarrassingly soaked sweats. He would've chased after Yoongi, who ran out of his room with a triumphant gummy smile after recording all of Jimin's stunned antics; but Yoongi wasn't to be fully blamed, for it was partially his doing as well, having entrusted his hyung the keys to his room. That, and for being a heavy sleeper.

If only all geniuses would dedicate their time to making good use of their aptitude, Min Yoongi wouldn’t have used ‘for the greater good of science’ as an excuse to obtain blackmail-worthy material, and Park Jimin wouldn't be hacking into Min Yoongi's database so damn early only to be hit with arbitrary urges. A generous sip of good booze could salvage his morning.

The only solution to silence the impulse was to give in, naturally — so it's 6 o' clock am and he's got his least favorite sweater on, set out for a bottle of vodka. Coming out in that dire time of the day means seeing little to no one at all, which is a relief, he wouldn’t have to encounter a crazed schoolmate eyeing him up as a potential lab rat.

This morning in San Fransokyo is quiet, save for the constant humming of the technology scattered all around. Matching the infrequent serenity, the city seems to bathe in the sun’s soft illumination, on the rare hope that when people step out, they’d appreciate its kind appearance reserved only for the last day of summer. Still, even without the harsh lighting, Jimin’s eyes remain weary, comfortable wearing them as crescents for a while.

He doesn’t notice that Yoongi’s not the only one who didn’t pay attention to the sun, and definitely not the only one who woke up extra early to work. The streets near his university were made of the asphalt with infused programming and coding tools, a special project of the seniors a few years back. Anyone was free to reach down, do their magic, and have their work plastered on the ground for 24 hours. Every midnight it reverts back to an empty canvas, so the serious programmers wouldn’t dare leave their code vulnerable to the public and have all versions of it gone by the next day.

The cobbled code path Jimin’s walking on turns out to be coded on already, resounding with his quick footsteps, imploring for him to look down and take note that he’s stepping on someone’s unfinished code art, and shit, his steps were precise accidents, but it looks like sabotage. But he doesn’t look down, and what used to be half a butterfly is now a muddled creature with its forewing absolutely wrecked, compound eye gone, antenna sticking out way too long - only the proboscis is intact.

Blessed are his feet, truly.

Damn Jeon Jungkook. Jimin is ill-equipped to be buying alcohol.

Not that Jimin looked like a kid and he'd need verification to drown himself in liquor, no. The Christmas sweater that Jungkook gave wasn't enough to shelter Jimin from the coldness of the store and the icy stares from middle-aged ladies that were there for marked-down items. They didn't wake up early to see an abominable sweater being worn by a resting-bitch faced kid that looked like he'd lived through a thousand lifetimes.

Giving an ugly sweater is one thing, but to give a sweater with a gingerbread man flexing his icing abs is on an entirely different league.

Even the store is on a different league. It's close-set, aiming to provide as much as it could with the little area it has. What its span lack, the height of its shelves surely make up for it, reaching up to 7 rows. Not tall enough to be touching the ceiling, but it definitely towers over Jimin. So he sucks it up, cold, height difference, and all.

Height is an issue, yet the store's strategy in product location is ludicrous. Who in the right mind would allow such a thing? Jimin thought San Fransokyo was a progressive city, however, precious liquor settled in the same aisle as laundry detergent says otherwise. Most importantly, Jimin's favorite brand of liquor sits at the sixth row, just a little bit beyond his reach when he jumps. The only staff present are the saleslady that could challenge Jimin's resting bitch face, the two cashiers from his university looking dead before the semester even started, and that one janitor being reprimanded by one of the early-comer middle-aged ladies for placing a wet-floor sign near the 35% off fish fillet.

This aisle is more than a minefield.

There are two ways to complete his task. One is to arduously climb the shelf, grab a bottle or two, climb down, then go in peace. Two is to grab it in his mind and the bottle will come floating down to him, no climbing involved. Telekinesis worked like that, right? But his presumably telekinetic abilities (powers, whatever) came to him out of nowhere, and it could betray him for no reason. The shelf isn't made for occasional customer climbing. Both options are dangerous, and there are other variables to consider. The janitor reprimanding lady could happen to pass by the aisle to get to the rack of 50% off wet wipes and see Jimin - may the convenience store gods forbid it.

He tries to will the bottle to descend from the shelf. He imagines a path and directs it to his open hand, but to no avail, from any onlooker he appears to be forcing to shit himself.

He tries again. The entire shelf of laundry detergent and the whole sixth row of bottles float for a while and he panics. The detergents somehow spill themselves and join in the 'make Jimin panic more' party. All but the bottle that he wanted stops floating and blesses the store's floor by simultaneously breaking, along with Jimin's heart at the thought that he had to explain the mess. What would he even say? 'Sorry, I didn't want to disturb your staff to get the item I wanted so I took it upon myself to miraculously break all the bottles on the sixth shelf? Don't worry, I may have student loans to pay but I'm sure I'll compensate for this mess eventually!'

Even worse, he would have to choose whether to take the second semester and survive with cup noodles or work full-time as Yoongi's lab rat. He still has a shred of dignity to keep, no thanks, Yoongi.

He already broke things anyway, so it's all or nothing. Better come home with a bottle than none at all. Jimin resorts to first original option, because climbing is obviously way more safer than 'grabbing the bottle with his mind.'

So he climbs. Bingo. Should've done that the first time.

It's not a big store, so the small amount of staff and patrons they had heard the crash and are silently watching Jimin elegantly climb down the shelf, avoid bits of glass on the floor, and tiptoe on the sea of unicorn vomit. On one end of the aisle, the saleslady seemed heartbroken for the janitor, who didn't spare a second look at whatever calamity swept through. He had already turned on his heels, heading for his mop and bucket. The fish fillet lady looked absolutely furious. Not good.

Jimin is stuck a very delicate place.

He continues to tiptoe on the unholy offspring of fabric conditioner and booze until—

"Oh hey dude, what ha—?" One of the cashiers suddenly appears sat the other end of the aisle with a concerned look on his face, which iss oddly familiar to Jimin. Could he be one of Taehyung's past flings? Or that dude that Hoseok drunkenly kissed one time. Probably both.

Regardless of the cashier's identity, Jimin runs away.

Of course he fucking slips.

"Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuck." His palms and knees took most of the impact and earned scratches. Still all or nothing, he continues to run even though his limbs disagree with the spontaneous plan to exert energy, wobbling with the guilt and panic of evading responsibility.

"Sorry man, not my fault!" Jimin shouts. Immediately spotting a rack full of Hello Kitty bandages, he grabs a handful and speeds across the store as fast as his unwilling limbs could take it.

A Jollibee statue is waiting for him at the exit, so with Jimin's last functioning brain cell he throws two 20 dollar bills somewhere and makes it out of the store, turning Jollibee into a casualty by knocking him down at the exact moment Jimin's legs give up.

"—ppened here?" the cashier says to Jollibee's decapitated body.

#park jimin #honeyboynetwork #im alive #what to tag??#bts fic #bts scenarios

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blazermckinnon · 7 years

Text

27 hours in the SNL standby line for dress rehearsal 9/30/17

Scroll down for standby tips, a list of things you might need, and places you may need to visit for standby!

Here is a description of the timing of waiting in standby:

@myloveholtzy and I have been planning for this for weeks and the time had finally come! I was lucky enough to have my Friday class cancelled so I could go back to the city early enough to guarantee a good spot in line. It’s Thursday night and we’re packing our things anxiously, even laying out cardboard that @myloveholtzy had been saving for weeks for this very day to see if it was enough room to sit and lay down. We try to get some sleep. It felt like a second later when the alarm went off and I jolted up in bed, confused but ready to go. 3:00 AM.

We leave her apartment at 3:40 to catch the train to Rockefeller plaza. We get there at 4:20 and there are only 7 people in line. Our chances look pretty good. Most of the standbyers are asleep so we lay down our cardboard, set up a pillow and blankets and try to sleep. This is going to be our home for the next 27 hours.

It’s a funny thing camping outside on the streets. Everyone wakes up about the same time, as if we were at a sleep-away camp. There’s a sense of camaraderie, we’re all braving the cold for the very same purpose.

Slowly, people start arriving and setting up camp in line. By 5:00 AM, there are a total of 12 people in line. The rest of the city starts to wake up, there are more cars whizzing by, more people speeding by with coffee in their hands.

We fall asleep again and wake up at around 8:00 AM. There are 16 people in line. We watch movies and talk and meet new people in line and answer tourist questions, so many tourist questions. By 11:00 AM, there are almost 30 people.

We eat a lot of McDonalds and answer some more tourist questions. Then we are stricken with a genius idea (that’s what happens when you’re in the same place for so long, your mind is a wonder). We make signs to avoid the common tourist questions. It’s a huge hit! All of a sudden, people congregate around our signs and we get a laugh out of them. It’s a wonderful feeling and they ask more interesting questions besides the usual “What’s this line for?”. We get so many gasps of “Ryan Gosling!” and an SNL intern even stopped to take a picture of our sign! Our signs made it to Twitter too, this is my legacy.

By 5:30 PM, there are about 40 people in line. The day is starting to wind down. We watch more movies and talk more about anything and everything.

More waiting and talking and movies and napping. We are moved to a different spot as the other line for Nintendo starts to wind down. At around 9, we are moved again to our final spot.

We go visit Rockefeller at around 10:30 PM and saw Beck probably going back to rehearsal!

It’s sleep time but there’s a shit ton of jack hammering. No, not just jack hammering, full on earth shattering drilling. I wonder how I’m ever going to sleep.

By now, there are almost 100 people in line. I bundle up and try to sleep.

We start waking up at around 5 the next morning. My body is folded into a position I never thought I could achieve just to avoid the cold. At 6, we start packing up our things. We made it. We did it.

Pages come out at around 7 to give us our tickets. Finally.

We victoriously take pictures of our tickets; this little piece of blue card stock was our first place trophy. But it was not over yet. We go home, take long hot showers and collapse into deep sleep.

We run back to Rockefeller plaza and arrive at 6:50 PM where we have to wait in the NBC store. There is a crowd of people packed like sardines. The pages line us up in order of our ticket numbers. We rejoice at the sight of our fellow standbyers. The line legend lady tells us stories of how she’s kicked line cutters out of the line and how different the system used to be. What a legend.

Finally, we are moved to a staircase behind the NBC store. Through the window, we see Richard, an Australian guy and an all around nice person who was 2 spots in front of us in standby. He is on line for the live show. We line up in twos and Line Legend Lady tells us more stories. We laugh off the nervousness and her ambience makes us feel better, she’s done this for 10 years so she’s chill about the whole process.

They move us up the stairs but there is still no guarantee of getting in. We arrive at the elevators and I sneak a Fallon-style picture of the elevator floors. Finally, we’re in line near the lounge but we’re standby, we don’t get to sit in the lounge this time. We get closer to the studio, I can hear 8H commotion, a page collects our tickets and it hits me. We’re in studio 8H. Pages rush us to our balcony seats, I am in the right section, close enough to watch the show with some lights in the way. It is hard to see some skits below us but it’s ok, it was all worth it.

The rest is self explanatory but here are some highlights that weren’t in the live show:

Melissa, Cecily and Kate doing the warm ups. Kate turns to our section twice and waves at us.

Kate holding Melissa’s hands and pulling her along after the warm ups. It was Melissa’s first warm up.

Kate crawling on the ground to pop up as Jeff Sessions in the cold open.

Emma Stone showing up during Ryan’s monologue.

The elephant man sketch was cut, it was kind of weird (kate as an air flight attendee and Leslie saying ‘bitch’ were great, the rest of the sketch was funny but not as funny).

An auto line sketch was cut, it was borderline creepy (beck plays a window shield repair man who removes their window shield repeatedly to hit on Melissa who plays a 17 year old high school soccer player).

Kate as Angela Merkel waiting behind the black screens next to weekend update, watching Colin and Michael supportingly and laughing hard at their jokes.

Ryan shaking as Kate feels his butt, trying to hold in his laughter.

Kyle pretending to play piano in the bar sketch but stopping before the music ends, garnering more laughter than the actual sketch.

Kate pulling the new cast members to the front in the goodnights. Everyone hugging. The goodnights are my favorite part.

Apparently Beyonce and Ryan’s gf were at the show. And now I know Aziz was also there. Wow.

Now for some tips if you want to do standby:

The line is normally on 48th street in front of the Nintendo store. There will be an NBC guard there so you can ask if you’re unsure about whether you’re in the right place or not. Or just look for at least one person in a camping chair with huge bags and probably coffee. (I say “normally” because that day happened to be a huge Nintendo release so there was a long ass line for Nintendo and we were moved multiple times).

NO CUTTING Line Legend Lady makes this very clear seriously talk to her she’s short and has black hair and glasses and is very approachable to talk to. This goes along with NO SAVING SPOTS pretty self explanatory.

The line is self governed. You’re allowed to leave for bathroom breaks or walks as long as you’re not leaving to go sleep in a hotel bed or whatever (aka don’t leave for more than 2 hours just to be safe)

If you suspect people cutting/saving spots, tell the line legend lady and guards. They’re pretty strict about it. This might sound scary but it’s not, honestly just follow the rules and you’ll have a great time

Talk to the people around you! You’re there for HOURS plus these people are (usually) some of the nicest people around. If you happen to spot any of the line legends: Chris or the Line Legend Lady, talk to them! They have so many stories. Chris has done it ~104 episodes consecutively and Line Legend Lady has done it for 10 years. There’s another line legend lady but I didn’t get a chance to really talk to her, she has gray curly hair and smiled at me once so she seems really nice!

SNL STANDBY SURVIVAL CHECKLIST:

Camping chair

Blankets (PLURAL CUZ ITS COLD)

Pillow

Cardboard box (to put your stuff on)

Books

Laptop (for work or movies)

Snacks

Tissues/napkins

Thick socks (your feet WILL get cold at night I guarantee it)

Earbuds

Layers (again, much cold very freezing)

GOVERNMENT ISSUED ID (permit, drivers license, student ID but it must have your DOB)

Water bottle

Gloves/hat/scarf (especially if you do it later in the season)

Playing cards

Sleeping bag/portable air mattress (like this one)

Sharpies

PLACES YOU MIGHT NEED:

Discount & Dollar (dollar store that sells camping chairs for $15, check the quality of the chair before buying bc someone’s chair broke idk if he checked, ours were fine cuz we checked)

Food court downstairs of Rockefeller (bathroom)

Stairs next to main lobby (there’s a water fountain in Rockefeller, go down the stairs near the lobby, there’s a glowing green sign that says something like “food court/concourse”)

McDonalds on 47th street (water, food, bathroom upstairs)

Click here for my other SNL experiences.

#snl #saturday night live #43x01 #standby #tips #ryan gosling #emma stone #jay z #kate mckinnon #melissa villasenor #cecily strong #leslie jones #9/30/17

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astrologicallyperfect · 6 years

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Rules: Answer the questions you’re given, write 11 of your own and tag 11 people.

Tagged by: @allie-jayne-leister/ @susicivxs (thank bby)

1. What’s your favourite sentence you’ve written in the past day? I wrote for an essay in English “His morality and the sound of a bell are one in the same” 2. Favourite item of clothing? I have a shirt with a lil alien hidden in the pocket. 3. Last thing you cooked? I made cookies with my friends and they were v good. 4. Your favourite muse (your own or someone else’s) to draw? It’s for sure a tie between Gabbie and Bonnie. Aaliyah is coming close, tho. 5. A stereotypic character trope you’d like to create a muse based on? I already have a butch female mechanic so there u go. 6. Favourite stuffed animal toy? A widdle shark that i got for 3 dollars at walmart and he turns into a walrus he’s versatile. 7. What’s the book series you’d most recommend and why? A safe bet for me is always the Percy Jackson series it’s so good. I’d also recommend Whispers by Dean Koontz, even tho it’s not a series. 8. If you could create a band, what would they be called, and what instrument would you play? Tbh my band would probably be named something v dumb. Like “please listen we can sing we swear”. I’d play piano, seriously. As a joke I’d play triangle. 9. If you could play a character in any book series, how would you be described and what part would you play in the plotline? I’d be in the Percy Jackson and I wouldn’t even be that important it would just be a background character doin their best. 10. Last book you read? I read “I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings” and “The Crucible” at the same time. 11. What place in the world would you most like to visit, and what would you do there? I wanna visit germany and buy the german version of the emoji movie.

My Eleven Questions:

1. What exotic animal is your favorite? 2. If you could travel to any time period where would you go? 3. If you could switch places with any celebrity who would it be? 4. What anime or cartoon world would you want to live in? 5. Any phrase or meme you quote/like unironically? 6. First fictional crush? 7. Favorite item you own? 8. What is your favorite candy bar? 9. If you play a sport, what sport is it? 10. Are you more artistic or athletic? 11. What’s your favorite vine?

Tagging: uuuuhhhh anyone who wants to bc i am uncomfortable tagging people.

answers for susicivxs under cut.

MY ELEVEN QUESTIONS

1. Your first muse ever? Can you describe them? (Not necessarily on here.) My first real muse was a Percy Jackson OC named Belle and I loved her so much back then but now I realize she was a super bad OC and revamped her but she ended up so much like Bonnie that I scrapped using her and am now using Bonnie instead. 2. If you could decorate your room however you wanted, how would you do it? I’d do a cool music themed room and paint my room like a continuous treble clef. 3. The fictional character you hate the most, and why? Orin Scrivello from Little Shop of Horrors bc he’s a trash baby but not a good one. 4. Your most treasured piece of artwork (whether it’s a fanfic, drawing, etc.)? I love this piece so much bc I practiced a lot with it, like anatomy and backgrounds and i also love marian so much. 5. The last TV show you watched, and your favourite character from it? The last thing even close to a TV show I watched was Haikyu and I love Asahi Azumane with all of my heart he’s my precious baby boy. 6. Post a YouTube link of the last song you listened to? I listened to Feed Me from Petite Boutique of Boos. 7. Favourite fruit? Strawberries 8. Favourite vegetable? Mushroom 9. The funniest thing you’ve read or heard someone say in the past week? ”because i’M A MIGHTY KID” 10. Least favourite movie/movie series and how could it have been improved for you? Ummm.... I don’t like the hunger games series bc towards the end Katniss became an unlikable bitch. If they had kept her likeable i would have preferred the series. Also get rid of that unnecessary love triangle. It added literally nothinng to their characters. 11. If you could rewrite one book series, what would it be and why? I’d rewrite The Outsiders. It’s not a series, but I wanna write something from the other guys POV.

#out of space #alliejayneleister #susicivxs

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littlelovelymemes · 7 years

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‘ if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot ’ ‘ i hope you end up ok ’ ‘ i’m crying my best ’ ‘ how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit ’ ‘ some kid just skateboarded down my street crying ’ ‘ do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know. ’ ‘ i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself ’ ‘ which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears? ’ ‘ you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh ’ ‘ @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened ’ ‘ there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch ’ ‘ after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death ’ ‘ why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable ’ ‘ hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon ’ ‘ remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life ’ ‘ what the fuck is a good day ’ ‘ sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿ ’ ‘ is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight? ’ ‘ does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating ’ ‘ i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls ’ ‘ time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day ’ ‘ roses are red, i’m going to bed ’ ‘ u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy ’ ‘ i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented ’ ‘ just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe ’ ‘ you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always ’ ‘ come into bed and listen to the rain with me ’ ‘ i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved ’ ‘ people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel, ’ ‘ i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender ’ ‘ concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that ’ ‘ i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly ’ ‘ does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it ’ ‘ “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better ’ ‘ i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it ’ ‘ i’m alive out of spite ’ ‘ the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up ’ ‘ a bad person? who, me? that would be correct, ’ ‘ you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn ’ ‘ my heart does a little “!” when I see you ’ ‘ i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit ’ ‘ i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn ’ ‘ still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again. ’ ‘ my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY ’ ‘ y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth ’ ‘ i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them ’ ‘ for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada ’ ‘ it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’ ‘ in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too ’ ‘ man this has been the worst life of my life ’ ‘ having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch ’ ‘ I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To ’ ‘ forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember ’ ‘ “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic ’ ‘ are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry ’ ‘ do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on ’ ‘ KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death ’ ‘ remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real ’ ‘ personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ’ ‘ my gender is “pretty boy” ’ ‘ what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage ’ ‘ what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license? ’ ‘ i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening ’ ‘ i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual ’ ‘ do re me fa so done with you ’ ‘ ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more ’ ‘ i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole ’ ‘ should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean ’ ‘ am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me ’ ‘ are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch ’ ‘ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ’ ‘ has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth? ’ ‘ i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy ’ ‘ if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao ’ ‘ my last words will probably be sarcastic ’ ‘ i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight ’ ‘ ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened ’ ‘ single and ready to find aliens ’ ‘ it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful ’ ‘ i want to make friends but at the same time no ’ ‘ there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne ’ ‘ hi i’m here to ruin everything ’ ‘ i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out ’ ‘ we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be ’ ‘ every time i speak i am reminded why i should not ’ ‘ every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough ’ ‘ i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it ’ ‘ the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved ’ ‘ i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone ’ ‘ we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at ’ ‘ i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on ’ ‘ my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning ’ ‘ on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine ’ ‘ they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means ’ ‘ i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things ’ ‘ i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know ’ ‘ assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number ’ ‘ there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me ’ ‘ if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’ ’ ‘ um that’s u’re* not ur ’ ‘ i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on ’ ‘ so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000 ’ ‘ literally want to be rich for the clothes ’ ‘ me??? upset???? yes constantly ’ ‘ a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’ ’ ‘ today’s schedule: suffer ’ ‘ my middle name is actually $$ ’ ‘ don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake ’ ‘ i want someone who will light a fire in me ’ ‘ i want someone who will light me on fire ’ ‘ i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru ’ ‘ who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am ’ ‘ why is there so much blood in my alcohol system ’ ‘ no offense but i am a blessing to this earth ’ ‘ haha oops i care about you ’ ‘ they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones ’ ‘ do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute?? ’ ‘ hi i’m here to ruin everything ’ ‘ one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me ’ ‘ me? a jealous hoe? absolutely ’ ‘ it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point ’ ‘ i think i may be gayer than i originally planned ’ ‘ i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry ’ ‘ me? overreacting? shit probably ’ ‘ i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing ’ ‘ is there a scholarship for trying ’ ‘ me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what????? ’ ‘ i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it ’ ‘ i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude ’ ‘ “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have ’ ‘ you’re important to me, you piece of shit ’

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