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#THIS SOUNDS MORE SAD THEN I MEANT IT TO
dubious-dice · 7 months
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I doubt older Milo will see this, but if you do, please remember to put a pride flag outside your house if at all safe/possible as you remember how comforted they made you feel as you drove past them as a kid. That's real, right?
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whosname · 3 months
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[Id from alt. 1. A surprised assistant manager Zura blushing, with teary eyes and stars around him. He's wearing a party hat and there are birthday decorations behind him. He's saying "you baked me a cake?" 2. Tatsuma, Gintoki and Takasugi standing side by side. Tatsuma has his arms crossed grinning with a satisfied expression on his face. The words "Bought the ingredients" point out of him. Gintoki, with a blank expression is wearing a frilly apron and holding a cake with Sadaharu's face on it. The words "reluctantly bake it" point out of him. Takasugi is looking slightly embarrased, with his left hand on the back of his head and his right hand full of little bandages; his face has spots of powdered sugar. The words "cut the stencil and made powdered sugar rain" point out f him. End Id.]
Well, happy birthday, assistant manager Zura!
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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hiki and geki matching post
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hiki and geki matching post
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Shaking everyone with self deprecating art/writing/personal stuff tags by the shoulders
Always makes me sad when i see those.... I absolutely get feeling anywhere from self conscious to straight up bad about the things you create but yall, please, give yourselves some credit!! You deserve better!! You made something! And no don't say "yeah that's why it's bad"; you made something. It would not exist if you had not made it but you have and it does, and that's awesome and wonderful!!
(this is not a "you have to do this" post ofc but i do very strongly encourage it <3)
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whatsagirltoblogabout · 11 months
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Just read my entire fic through in one sitting for the first time ever. And I'm like, proper proud of it? Like, it was actually fun to read? And I'm not immediately tempted to delete everything and start over? Obviously it's not perfect, and never will be, but I'm honestly shocked by how happy I am with it.
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edge-oftheworld · 19 days
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help i'm listening to an orchestral arrangement of holiday by green day and i can't deal with it
#it's so disgustingly high up. the melody. that it sounds like pirates of the carribean#like. do you not get the memo to give the melody to anyone but the violins?? give it to the cellos or the trombones smh#other than that musically it's really good. BUT the reason i'm on here#is because i need someone less sleep deprived than me to queue up holiday and then more (by 5sos) and tell me is it the same chord#that holiday ends on and more (and bobd) start on??#if so. you know what i'm gonna do#i'm gonna fix this#and i'm tired enough that i feel like i can do better than anything i hear right now#was singing along to my cd in the car on the way back from orchestra and just. singing high harmonies like i'm delta goodrem#because apparently i learned everything i know from her? checks out#but the point is. that's not the main melody#in holiday. or it straight up sounds like pirates or some video game soundtrack#anyway the video is by epic orchestra. you can look it up#they didn't get the memo on how to write bass parts for orchestra apparently. fuck off i learned on teeth (song)#green day#holiday#boulevard of broken dreams#5 seconds of summer#more#silver arranges 5sos#thinking of making it some choose your own adventure between easier/more and holiday/bobd where they can swap next songs#and musically it works perfectly#help i'm listening to their bobd arrangement now and i swear it sounds like on of the triumphant end scenes from pirates#i don't watch enough movies bc it sounds generic movie soundtrack happy. which is stupid. it's boulevard of broken dreams#it's meant to be SAD. just cause it's in a major key ffs#sorry i should shut up and go to sleep#you can ask me about this later#i will post any demos that i make. you might not remember by then#because if i had the word 'soon' in my vocabulary...#just as well no one is relying on me
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nonbinaryaubrey · 2 years
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imagine if you tried to reconnect with your old friend group after 4 years but then one of your old friends died and the other one moved away. which then ultimately lead to the rest of you dying. and you got trapped in your old friend's dreamworld, meet your other friend who died four years ago and then finding out you are going to lose all of your old memories slowly by being stuck here. would that be fucked up or what?
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bigmack2go · 2 months
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My docor just went „either they‘re hard of hearing or they have adhd“ and my mom just straight out saod „motherfucker, BOTH!“ and i DIED
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transmandrake · 8 months
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Feel like face blindness is underestimated as a thing that Completely Fucks Up your ability to socialise and make friends, especially when its combined with time blindness.
Want friends but cant recognise people and have no idea when you last talked to someone?
The only way you can do that is to be in a situation where the same people show up in the same place at the same time, or/AND where said people approach you first and frequently enough to where you can figure out a way to find them that doesnt involve needing to know what they look like.
Oh, you already did that? Well now you have to actually remember they exist and contact them. Regularly. And pretend you care. You wish you did.
Even worse if you're depressed or otherwise emotionally suppressed naturally or otherwise. As a lot of autistic people are. Its not at all surprising no one makes an effort to hang out with someone who never recognises them, never contacts them, and if they do has nothing they want to say and has no response to anything you do or say, and shows no sign they even like you at all.
But people are still really cool. Wish my brain actually wanted anything to do with them sometimes. Would be nice.
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eerna · 3 months
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i will say i don't think the Nibleheim scene where Aerith gets jealous is just about Cloud and Tifa being close i think it is more about her realizing how much she missed out on her childhood since she was monitered by turks 24/7 and no kid was implied to have played with her in that one train graveyard ghost scene in Remake everything else tho i can see the jealousy thing since they really play it up with everyone in the love triangle (Cloud getting jealous over Aerith like 3 times with one being on a date with Tifa, Tifa and Aerith being jealous etc etc)
Yup, I got that! But considering it is preluded with her talking about Cloud having a crush on Tifa when they were kids, it is pretty clear which of the two aspects the writers wanted us to keep in mind... That's my problem with it. You have interesting character beats that are twisted in favor of petty romance drama. It is so dumb.
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ofyorkshire · 5 months
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i am once again thinking about 17 year old bj, shaken and upset after seeing clare's body being carried out of the garage, knowing he's been spotted by the policeman who murdered her... thinking about how he likens fleeing from searching police to a war zone, and how when he finds a place to hide and rest a moment in someone's garden shed, he pulls up his shirt and searches his back for evidence of severed wings (real as in he once had wings sewn into his shoulder blades like the murder victims? imagined bc he's in the middle of a mental and emotional breakdown? wholly metaphorical?)
something something... seeing a character hold it together for such a long time, numbing numbing numbing, then finally shatter into pieces bc there is too much for them to stitch themselves around. and something something... the way bj is connected to the murder victims (found with swan wings sewn to their backs) but also the mutilated swans themselves (found without their wings). and. the. idk. the way that the police had all the answers in front of them from the start with the swans, but they kept dismissing pieces as unimportant ("just birds", "just troublemakers", "just prostitutes", "just" the unimportant things we don't want to deal with or acknowledge). and as a result, bj and every other victim were failed at every turn even though the signs and the cries for help were all there.
there's interesting things being said there about bj and i wish i could place my finger on all the somethings.
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graciousdragon · 9 months
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"And should I be shocked now, by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger, your eyes vacant and stained
And in saying you loved me made things harder, at best..."
in other words: fuck it we ball, i drew my AU version of Showtime Dawko with a palette colorpicked from the album cover of My Chemical Romance's "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" because the brainrot is real 👍
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am i super proud of this? eh. but i also haven't drawn digitally in literal months (thanks college) and if i'm gonna get back to it then i gotta start somewhere and i never post art anywhere so uh. i might as well now!
i still love Glitching Fates so much don't worry it is still on my mind 24/7 but unfortunately i almost never have time to dedicate to talking about it and also i am. Very Bad at putting my thoughts into words lmao
this is actually kinda lore tho. btw. lol. :]
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pinkhysteria · 7 months
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me when the 6 episode series in fact only has 6 episodes and actually ends after episode 6: :0
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kurthorton-moving · 8 months
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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No one talk to me I just came back from a family vacation to find out my favorite youtuber ever is leaving the platform.
I am devastated.
(I am actually happy for him, he has given me so much happiness for like 8 years. He deserves to let the channel go an enjoy his life. It just hurts, but I'll get over it
I'm so thankful for MatPat and Steph. I Hope every future endeavour or project they take on is successful and that over all they have a happy and fulfilling life with Ollie.💚❤️💛💙)
#I leave to a place with no cellphone signal and come back to this?#may be the lord was protecting me idk#What do I call this? a personal rant? Im not really ranting more like letting my feelings out#venting if you#never done this on my blog before but I feel like I have to#I've been a Fan of game theory since I was like 13 or 14#He was like the first youtuber I ever suscribed to#that spoke english cause my first language is spanish lol#His videos and overall community meant a lot to me. I dont know how could I possibly express that#Of course Im going to still watch the videos after he is gone with the new hosts but still it wont be the same#Hope this doesnt sound too like sad. I dont mean to be negative. I am legitemetly so proud and happy for him#I mean He had one of the classiest goodbyes of YouTube at least I can say my favorite youtuber was never cancelled thats a win haha#But seriously he has achieved so much and has over all been such a positive influencer how could I not be proud to call myself a Fan#so truly I am not sad He ended on the highest note you could ask for. I cannot ask for anything more from him.#I am not sad However I did cry like a Baby during the Video. Man I just. Im tearing up even thinking about it#but anyway#You bet I am going to watch every single one of his videos the second they upload until march 9.#And then I am going to dedicate the day to the celebration he supposedly plans for then#I will probably vent some more in a bigger post then too. like I did in this tags lol.#Right now... I just cant. I need to process a little more heh#MatPat#Matthew Patrick#The game Theorists#game theory#goodbye matpat
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