#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DIRTYBADWRONG

[ltleflrt]

can i ask - what are you thoughts on the current anti-shipping phenomenon in fandom? I've recently gotten into SPN fandom and fallen in love with your fics, but the state of the fandom puzzles me a bit.

Anti-shipping is not a SPN fandom phenomenon, and maybe it seems to be a bigger deal to you because it's a bigger fandom? Wincest and Destiel shippers have been at war since episode 04x01 aired lol...we even have derogatory names for each other: Wincels and Hellers.

(Jokes on the Wincels, because Heller is a fucking awesome name.)

(Wincestiel shippers are fandom unicorns, and they deserve love and respect.)

I've only been involved in fandom since 2011, so most of what I know about anti-shippers comes from piles and piles of posts talking about fandom history, but the gist of it is that this is not current, it is ongoing since the dawn of fandoms, we just have names for it now. Think about Spirk back in the 60s...there were lots of rabid fangirls who saw nothing romantic between them too. We just don't hear as much about them, because they lost their fandom war lol

It's just really loud right now with the rise of conservatism, fascism, and terfs. And social media amplifies all of the above.

Anyway, my thoughts on anti-shippers is that they need to grow up and mind their own business. I am a pro-shipper, which means I believe that anyone has the right to love any ship, no matter how problematic, no matter how much it squicks me out. I believe everyone should be allowed to read whatever vile smut they want, because thought crimes are not real.

Unless a real person is being hurt, have fun.

Antis claim that problematic ships and kinks hurt people, but I think it's important to understand that there's a big difference between accidental and deliberate harm. And harm mitigation is highly important in a world with 7+ billion people and 7+ billion different lived experiences.

If an anti-shipper is hurt by a ship they don't like, they need to learn how to block and filter content so they don't see it, and on the opposite side of that, the vile shippers/kinksters need to tag their nonsense so that they're not accidentally burning someone's eyes out. Which most people ARE kind enough to do. They sit around in their little ficcing circles and cackle over the evil things they're putting their blorbos through, and they put up warning signs, but the antis come barging in to bug them anyway.

In my opinion, many antis are big fucking bullies and do a lot more harm than they claim to try and prevent, and they can all go fuck themselves with something hard and sandpapery.

So uh... yeah, that's how I feel about it 😁

(okay actually I'm not done, there's a lot of anti-shipping discourse about age gaps and what counts as incest that are just... really fucking stupid, and I honestly believe that shit started out because people were grasping for straws to justify why their ship is better than the ship they don't like. unfortunately, the youngins have been soaking up that moral purity language as Objective Truth because they're little sponges. i hope they outgrow that bullshit eventually. i will forgive and forget if they leave behind their purity police badges.)

[three--rings]

While writing today I was thinking...so I was writing something kinky, something that I find personally quite hot and that fit with the characters and scenario.  But I hesitated because...well I imagined people objecting to it on the grounds that it would be a Bad Idea to do In Real Life. 

And specifically, it reminds me of specific criticism I’ve heard leveled at the 50 Shades books.   And like, first of all I’m not here to defends 50 Shades, for one thing it would be really hard to do since I’ve never read them or seen any of the movies.  But also I’ve always thought some of the criticism they receive is unnecessarily harsh.  (Not all of it.  Just some.)

Because to me, a lot of people seem to really be unable to approach a work of fiction, and IN PARTICULAR a work about sex without pretending it is 100% Real.  And they direct their criticism accordingly: can you imagine doing this in real life, omg you would be arrested omg perverts omg sex crime omg dirtybadwrong.  

And like people never seem to stop and consider that...fiction is fantasy.  A safe exploration of ideas that are either unfeasible or impractical to enact in the real world.  I don’t care if your fantasy is being a pirate on the high seas or getting railed behind a supermarket, they are both impractical and full of moral, ethical and legal problems. 

But people act like, yanno exploring one of these things in fantasy is fine and the other is a sign that you’re a Secret Degenerate.  That you Don’t Understand That This Would Be Wrong. 

But like, I was brought face to face with this today, writing something that I’m very aware is at the least Extremely Morally Dubious in a real world context.  But writing it anyway because it’s hot to me and what the fuck is smutty fanfic for if NOT exploring these things safely.

And I just feel like so much of Media Criticism these days, especially of the tiktok/youtube variety, though I enjoy snarking at shitty things as much as the next person, but so much of it is pearl-clutching about fiction being unrealistic.  That if this Fictional Scenario Was Real it would be bad and unhealthy and dangerous and like, it’s always about the romance tho, isn’t it.  It’s rarely about how actually you’d get gangrene from that wound without antibiotics or whatever. 

And I’m really tired of this idea that Fiction for Women is bad because the audience is Too Stupid to tell the difference between fiction and reality.   And sometimes it’s about YA, and the argument is they’re too young.  Okay, fine.  But like, again, are you focusing on the bad advice about surviving in a wilderness or or you focusing on the unrealistic romances?

So yeah, I don’t know.  I think it’s important to acknowledge that fiction sometimes appeals exactly for the fact that it doesn’t follow the same rules as the real world.  That people can have something in fiction they wouldn’t want in the real world.  That, in fact, fiction is the appropriate place for that to happen. 

I don’t know, this isn’t coherent.  But I’m so tired of this argument that I see about oh people are too stupid to tell the difference between Art and Escapism and it’s all the fault of fanfiction and Dumb Media and like I think actually most people can tell the difference between indulgent media and stuff that’s supposed to be gritty realism but it’s armchair critics who equate everything to the same level of Depiction is Endorsement.  And unfortunately this has been the dominate form of internet media criticism for long enough that it’s all an entire generation has been exposed to. 

And as someone who writes indulgent smut on the regular and also has a degree in literature and psychology, like actually I’m not at all confused about the line between fiction and reality thanks. 

[ghaniblue]

May Favourites (technically end of April & May favourites but whatever)

[fic] Second Best by @onbeinganangel | Harry/Regulus | E | 9k

Can you want me like you wanted him? Because I do.

This fic is glorious. This Regulus is to die for. To quote myself from my AO3 comment: "My god. I started screaming about the time you introduced the whole [spoiler] situation and didn't stop until the very end."

[podfic] Gryffindors Never Kiss and Tell written by feelsforbreakfast, read by @thirdeye1234 | Drarry | E | 57 min

The gang realizes that everyone has kissed Harry except Draco. Draco proceeds to do a terrible job of pretending he doesn’t want to kiss him too.

I adore the fic and RattleandHum brought it to life beautifully. I enjoy her Draco voice so much: bitchy and funny and a little vulnerable.

[podfic] Like Paper, Like a Flame written by @lou-isfake read by @thirdeye1234 | Drarry | M | 17 min

Harry keeps coughing up daffodils, Draco doesn't know why, and Hermione is 100% fed up.

Emotionally intense, yet understated.

[fic] the luxury of a regret by @swoontodeath | Slughorn/Regulus/Sirius (permutations of) | E | 3k

“If you have come to my private rooms to discuss my principles, I am afraid you will find them lacking.”

Regulus’ cheeks, already stained with shame, reddened further. “If your ‘principles’ are what compel you to invite young men into your private rooms, then I am sure I will.”

Or: Horace Slughorn collects people. Since Sirius left, Regulus could do with the extra attention.

Deliciously dirtybadwrong Slughorn fic. Featuring teacher/student, voyeurism and power imbalances (and the whole incesty vibe). Slughorn is perfect: self-indulgent and overly effusive and creepy uncle-ish and slughorny. So wrong it's right.

[fic] Sex, Lies and Veritaserum by @letteredlettered | Drarry | E | 18k |

This entire fic is one long conversation about sex.

Established relationship. Harry and Draco dose themselves with Veritaserum and talk about things they want in bed. It's 18k of kink negotiation and sharing of fantasies and dirty talk leading to sex. Harry is so hot in this I want to die.

[fic] Wildflower by @wolfpants | Charlie/Draco | E | 1,3k

There had been a certain quality to Draco’s gaze when he first arrived here at the colony, all of those months ago, burdened with luggage and research and a flightiness in his eyes that spoke of a few years of not knowing where to land, where to root himself.

This is so soft and gentle, and vividly descriptive. Just lovely.

[fic] any day now by @oknowkiss | Drarry | E | 17k

Draco supposes he should be grateful. 

The rehabilitation centres were the Minister’s idea, or that’s what the Prophet said anyway. Their stated objective is simple: to provide a safe space for low-tier Death Eaters and high-tier sympathisers to reconsider the entirety of their life choices. All guests–because no one is a prisoner here, the literature brags–are to be provided with shelter, food, clothing, and the guided support of a Mind Healer via a programme they call “ideological restructuring,” which is, of course, mandatory. 

OR: Draco Malfoy considers the circle.

I'm not quite sure what to say about this fic. I'm still processing. I read it in increments because I didn't want it to end and because I needed to take it in bit by bit. It is interesting and psychologically complex, with such a distinct tone. Read this if you like politics and world building and an incredible Draco voice.

[fic] I have not yet forgot myself to stone by @elskanellis | Drarry | T | 3k

This time, he thought it was going to be a different kind of new start.

LCDrarry fic. Understated tragedy. Read this if you want your heart to hurt.

‐----------

April Favourites

[chalkrevelations]

SO. Back to the beginning, Episode 1 of Word of Honor. This is likely to be a little bit different experience than the prior posts, when I was watching the eps as they aired, compared to now approaching the show as whole and complete. May be rummaging around for things I missed the first time through, stuff that takes on new meaning set in additional context – we’ll see how it goes.

With that in mind, spoilers for not just this ep but possibly for the entire series. Get out of the car now and come back later, if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled.

First thing to strike me, right up front: You know, I think we tend to lose sight in later parts of the show – when we’re getting Laopo!Zhou Zishu pouting so he doesn’t have to cook dinner - how terrifying ZZS is in his own right (and by “we,” I actually mean the show, too). One of the things the first few episodes gets right, I think, is the sense of eerie inevitability and dread created by both the falling lanterns of Tian Chuang and the blowing paper figures of the Ghost Valley, and how similar they are. I think it’s easy to lose that - when the lanterns and the paper figures are gone and our charming and adorable couple are busy being charming and adorable at each other, in between varying rounds of being wracked by guilt and PTSD – easy to lose that this is there too, part of them – both of them - under the skin. I think it’s particularly easy to lose that for ZZS, when he’s already done a lot of work, off-screen, pre-Episode 1, during the 18 months he was putting in those first six Nails, to come to some kind of equilibrium, and meanwhile we watch Wen Kexing’s entire torturous process play out on-screen. Wen Kexing’s story is one of reaching an equilibrium, but Zhou Zishu’s story is one of maintaining it, which I think may be less showy, but is equally valuable, just as I value the Four Seasons Manor arc, especially, for giving us a vibe of two adults comfortable in an already intimate relationship, as opposed to the veritable sea of will-they-won’t-they tug-of-war coming-together-for-the-first-time-as-emotional-AND-plot climax relationships that we’re usually awash in.

Anyway, straight up we’re introduced to an assassin who, we discover, doesn’t like to get blood on himself. It looks like metaphorical blood is fine, just not actual blood, but then we discover, well, maybe he’s not as OK with metaphorical blood as he schools himself to look. Also that conversation with Li Jingan about her dad having to die because he’s a traitor to the country – I now wonder how much of that particular conversation Zhou Zishu mentally brings to the table in later conversations about his own father being executed for the same reason. Also, wait wait wait. Zhou Zishu tells Jingan that he took Jiuxiao’s body back to Four Seasons Manor and buried him next to their shifu, but I don’t remember seeing another grave there, other than Qin Huaizhang’s and his wife’s. Script inconsistency, or are you supposed to be lying, ZZS? I mean, would you be so downcast at the state of Four Seasons Manor when you arrive with your husband and son for your honeymoon, if you’d actually been there only a couple of years before? It didn’t fall to pieces overnight. Also, HAIRPIN FORESHADOWING ALERT. Our first sign of how important the hairpin is, the way ZZS’s impassive face cracks wide open when he sees the hairpin that Jiuxiao made and realizes he must have given it to Jingan. Clearly important!

Mmm. Here’s a point for the “Prince Jin is a f’kn asshole” list – Prince Jin wants ZZS to deal with Bi Changfeng personally when Bi Changfeng requests to leave Tian Chuang. And OK, ZZS is the leader of Tian Chuang. But you’re never going to convince me Prince Jin wants ZZS to deal with it personally because Prince Jin is actually so very furious that Bi Changfeng made a mistake. You will never convince me this isn’t a … it’s not even a test of loyalty, at this point, because Prince Jin has no reason to think yet that ZZS is anything other than the faithful hunting dog on a leash that he’s been, lo, these many years. Putting ZZS in a position where not only is he losing the last of the direct disciples of Four Seasons Manor, but he’s being asked to (as good as) kill him with his own hands - it’s just cruelty for the proof of your power and influence over someone. Also, given Prince Jin’s later diatribe about how everyone leaves him OMG (have you considered it’s your personality?) (But also Beiyuan! I know who you are now, and yeah, I would have let Wu Xi bride-kidnap me away from this jerk, too), I have to wonder if Prince Jin isn’t trying to make ZZS feel exactly as isolated as he, himself, feels, as part of his overall desire to make sure that ZZS has no one other than Prince Jin so that their positions are parallel – only having each other in the whole world. I also have to wonder if he’s not hoping for precisely the reaction ZZS has to Bi Changfeng – you’d rather be dead than be with me? Because that hurts, you can see it on ZZS’s face (thanks already, Zhang Zhehan), and I rather suspect Prince Jin wants it to hurt. I notice we get an echo of this later in the ep, with Prince Jin saying pretty much the same thing when ZZS asks for the final Nail. GOOD. I hope it hurts you just as much. I wonder if ZZS realizes this while he’s kneeling there in the throne room. It’s probably too late for him to get any satisfaction out of it.

OH, HEY. That’s HAN YING already, one of the two people accompanying ZZS to put down Bi Changfeng, looking super-pained like he knows what this is all costing his beloved. Han Ying, I really hope you got to tap that at least a few times before ZZS made his break for it. Is that one of the reasons Prince Jin seems to have such antipathy for you, or is it really just that he can’t stand the idea of someone whose loyalty to ZZS is greater than their loyalty to Prince Jin, himself? (Seriously, y’all, why is there not much much more Han Ying/ZZS fic?) Meanwhile Duan Pengju, omg, this asshole, is already looking smug and punchable. Really, he’s kind of enjoying the Seven Nails placement a little too much. Showing your hand pretty fast on the petty evil thing, show.

So, one thing I didn’t catch the first time around, is that ZZS isn’t just self-injuring to punish himself when he takes the knife to his chest – he re-opens wounds on all the places where the first six Nails have already been placed, so it will look like the placement is fresh. If you can’t tell he hasn’t just put them in, there’s no reason for anyone else (read: Prince Jin) to suspect he’s bought himself some time before he loses his senses. As far as anyone knows, he’s going to fall over with locked-in syndrome any day now. Which just makes the implications of Prince Jin vowing that he’s only letting him go for now EVEN ICKIER. For all Prince Jin knows, what he’s going to get back is a flesh doll that will just lie there, although I guess on the plus side, ZZS would never leave him again. Thanks, show, I need a shower, now.

ZZS says all the right things to argue his case to Prince Jin – he’s only good as a weapon, he has no skills nor utility for building and governing the country – and I think partly this is because he just knows the right things to say. I mean, you don’t become the Number Two guy in the country, with thousands under you and only one above you, if you can’t play imperial politics. But I also wonder if deep down he doesn’t actually believe it – he was successful at building Tian Chuang, but he couldn’t maintain Four Seasons Manor and even drove it to ruin. So, I’ll just be over here, clutching my chest, over my heart. Fortunately, Zhang Zhehan provides quick distraction from this pain, and I … Y’all. I can’t. I just. I CANNOT. When ZZS drops to his knees and starts stripping in the throne room. Just. Mmmmmrgh. THIS VISUAL. Although, you want to know what one of the hottest parts actually is? That pair of leather bracers hitting the floor on top of his belt, and ZZS isn’t even in the shot at that point. OK, fine, I am willing to read some dirtybadwrong fic with this whole scene premise at its heart, even if it does include Prince Jin. Zhang Zhehan, you are KILLING ME. I might have rewound this part. More than once. You can’t prove anything.

Aaaand then we get that gorgeous, painful shot of ZZS riding out into the snow that I know I’ve talked about before (including the way I get an odd echo of Lan Xichen off of it). There are several places in this ep where the cinematography is to die for, and this is one of them, the bleakness of the landscape and Zhang Zhehan (and his FACE) deep in that shadowing cloak against the stark snow as he rides out into freedom and the unknown. Then cut to somewhere green and forested. Interesting that the show starts with snow and ends with snow. That parallel with the imperial cage says some things about immortality that could stand to be unpacked – but later. Because ZZS is putting his face on – literally – and I am once again in pain, only it’s not the good kind of pain. It’s caused by that dreadful fake facial hair. There are some things that could be unpacked here, as well, about the fact that making ZZS supposedly unattractive involves a clearly fake goatee, a single aesthetically placed scar, and darkening his skin. I’m going to try to step carefully here, because this is kind of out of my lane, but it is … a noticeable thing. That probably ought to be noted.

So, ZZS takes just a moment to turn his (fake) face up to the sun and feel the warmth on it … and then with 10 minutes left, we’re on our way to Ghost Valley, where there’s some chaos and then Hanging Ghost gets got by a Mysterious Stranger To Be Revealed Later, who chokes him out (remember this). The Mysterious Master of Ghost Valley appears dramatically on his High Ledge to Make Some Pronouncements while playing with some walnuts omg (rolling two of them in one hand – remember this), and we see his eyes, which are partially obscured by chunky sidebangs, which are farther forward on his forehead than we’re going to see later, not only hiding some of his face but making it look more angular. The troops get berated, shit rolls downhill, and another dude gets choked (remember this) as Ghost Valley Master’s hair continues to artfully hide most of his face and he worries about his manicure post-kill (remember this). War is declared on Hanging Ghost for stealing the Glazed Armor, and more chaos is set into motion.

All of that takes literally two minutes, and then we cut to three months later, and no one realizes it yet, but the fam is getting together. ZZS is tits out in the gutter - only beginning his career of being a minx who flashes his collarbones an awful lot for someone who has Very Secret Scars He’s Hiding On His Chest - happily drinking himself to death in the sun (we really need to talk about this correlation of snow and immortality vs. sun and happiness …). Meanwhile, slo-mo shot of Wen Kexing looking precious and perfect, with delicate pink lips and dove-grey robes, as he checks out the rough trade in the gutter. Oh, the expectations this show is getting ready to smash. We cut from a shot of pristine precious WKX to ZZS holding up his hand, and we get a shot of the sun through ZZS’s fingers looking an awful lot like some shots of characters halo’d in light that we’ll get back to much much later in the show. Chengling appears out of nowhere to be Best Boy. A-Xiang is purple and smol and ready to brawl, and I already love her. I already love them all!  So much! Here are my delicate and precious feelings, show, go ahead and stomp all over them!

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 1/3

This part focuses on the queer coding of Joey’s character. The next 2 parts will discuss Joey’s relationships with other male characters in the book.

Quotes from TIOL are transcribed in italics, screenshots are from “Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940″ By George Chauncey.

He’s extremely vocal about his disinterest in women and shows zero hesitation about it

“I knew I had taken a risk with this game, and I could see it all over her face. She was falling in love with me. I took a step out to the side to create a bit more distance between us. Fortunately the bugle sounded soon after and we had to part ways.” TIOL, page 35

“I couldn't quite see what she was doing from where I was sitting, and I didn't want to get too close physically, didn't want to make the moment seem intimate. How many women have fallen in love with me because I got excited about something they said to me and got a little too close? I knew I was a catch. But I was meant to swim the seas alone.“ TIOL, page 166

And these are just two of the many, many similar remarks he makes in the book. Listing them all would require a separate post. He really makes sure to drive the point across.

He was bullied in the army for not being a “real man”, and pressured to find a girlfriend

“The men made fun of me: "Reading a romance there, Drew?" I remember Eckhart laughing through his mushy peas, bits flying out of his mouth and onto the dining table.  "What if I was?" I replied. "Only girls like fiction."” TIOL, page 62

“Novels fascinated me. I knew before Donaldson and Eckhart had teased me that supposedly men who were "real men." as someone, maybe Arch, had put it, read about real subjects, nonfiction.” TIOL, page 62-63

“Donaldson was convinced he could find me a sweetheart, even when I said I wasn't interested in one.” TIOL, page 28

More under the cut

When describing the pros of visiting a speakeasy, he uses a gender-neutral term “pretty people”, as opposed to “pretty women”

“Passwords, pretty people, paid-off police - you could feel wrong while not being particularly bad.” TIOL, page 43

Also worth asking ourselves why are “pretty people” among the things making him and his friends feel dirtybadwrong. Unless it’s the wrong sort of people that they found pretty.

The speakeasy itself had a very peculiar password too: “Sparkle Unicorn”. It was also located in the Meatpacking District, known for having a lot of gay nightclubs. While Joey doesn’t describe any openly homosexual behavior at the establishment, Nathan notes that his description of the speakeasy isn’t entirely truthful.

“Nate A: Can't not acknowledge the compliment here, I remember this night well. Though I remember it being at the Bee Room, gold and black, not silver as the main design aesthetic. Doesn't really make much of a difference though, I suppose.” TIOL, page 44

His best friend is a woman wearing men’s clothing (heavily queer-coded herself), who seems fully aware of his lack of interest in women

“It's invitation only, but I thought you could be my date!' I turned and looked at her but before I could say anything she added, "Nothing romantic, my darling, you don't need to run through the wall leaving a Joey-shaped hole in its place!"” TIOL, page 74-75

“I leaned in and placed a hand on Abby's knee. There was a gasp from someone in the audience, but I knew Abby wouldn't be flustered by it. That wasn't the nature of our relationship.” TIOL, page 89

He reacts negatively to a straight couple kissing in his presence

“There were a few whispered conversations happening at the edge of the room, one clearly flirtatious between a young man and woman dressed in absurdly shabby clothes. He leaned in and kissed the tip of her ear, and I found that to be quite ostentatious” TIOL, page 78

You may think that it’s because he’s old-fashioned, but no - he explicitly approves of Abby’s unorthodox behavior.

“She had really started coming into herself by this point and had even started dressing in a far more modern fashion, some would even call it scandalous.”

“What man are you stealing all these clothes from?” (...) "You don't like my new look?" she asked, returning to my question. "I don't know why, but it works for you." TIOL, pages 74-76

Abby is also described - alongside Sammy, as the only person who can understand “the Illusion of Living”, which seems to be Joey’s codename for the art of lying.

“I attempted to explain a bit of the Illusion of Living to him then, but I could tell it was too complex a concept for him to grasp in the moment. And I didn't need him to understand it profoundly. After all, I was steering this ship. My artists and writers don't fully get it either quite frankly. Abby and Sammy probably are the ones who best understand it and even then, it's not to my level” TIOL, page 209

How curious that the only two people in the world able to understand a philosophy that centers on projecting a false self-image to the public just so happen to be the two other characters with strongest queer-coding.

Bertrum interprets Joey’s comment as flirtatious

"Now don't you play hard to get," I said. I remember actually wagging my finger at him.Yes, definitely light-headed. "I'm not that kind of date," he replied with a hearty laugh, and I must admit I didn't entirely understand the joke, but I laughed too.” TIOL, page 209

Did you get the joke? Joey sounds gay - that’s the joke.

While I’m not too thrilled about homosexuality being treated as some sort of hilarious punchline to be laughed at, nevertheless it does show that Bertrum (and the author) notice the double entendre in their interactions.

He lives in Greenwich Village, which was a famous gay enclave in New York

“I knew it the moment I saw the dark outline of a strange figure silhouetted in the hall of my dripping Greenwich Village apartment building” TIOL, page 43

He owns a red bow tie, which was a sign of homosexuality in the 20s and 30s

“For my part the only red thing I owned was a garish bow tie, so that was all I was able to contribute visually.” - TIOL, page 82

[sitp-recs]

Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks

Kink: Public sex

Harry/Sirius (Explicit, 3.4k)

I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.

I suppose I'm crap as a godfather. Everybody knew that already. As a rimmer, though, I'm bloody excellent.

Yes, I love public sex so much I couldn’t decide between two recs for this glorious kink so here, please have both :))) Now, I might be biased because I love myself some dirtybadwrong taboo but this lil gem right here is among my top 3 favorite fics by the ultimate queen lqt. Sirius’ conflicted voice is an absolute triumph; his character is so complex and fascinating I wish I could live inside his mind forever. The quote I highlighted above is possibly one of the best lines I’ve read in years. I don’t know how but lqt’s gorgeous prose carefully chose all the right words to create a convoluted atmosphere where the lines between right and wrong get blurred because Sirius has long accepted his penitence and knows that he cannot, will not stop; yet he’s so devoted to Harry, so willing to worship what is offered and whisper Harry’s name like a prayer and pledge his fidelity that you can’t help asking yourself if Harry’s actually his salvation after all.

Come and feast on the hot, filthy smut (this is gourmet public sex, my dudes!) but also appreciate how these nuanced characters feed each other’s nature. This fic is a masterpiece and also a great character study. It’s luscious and decadent, aching and bittersweet. It also explores some of my favorite elements about this ship and reminds me of why I’m drawn to these dynamics - it’s about the implications and complications! Thank you lqt for doing the lord’s work 🙌🏼

ps: that banner is a message for both Sirius and me 💀

Read on AO3

[olderthannetfic]

Idk if you've seen but there's been a big debacle about this book on Amazon with a 15yo girl in relationship with her coach, a 30yo man who p much grooms her. And the way it's written and classified is as a pure Romance, which is really fucking me up. But I also absolutely support every sort of writing, so my feelings about this book and controversy are conflicted... do you have any thoughts about it?

Yes.

It’s supposed to be category romance, according to the marketing. Category romance is the other place besides AO3 and porn sites where people believe in tagging the shit out of their kinks, not to protect people but so that horny customers can find what they want.

Failing to present this thing as DirtyBadWrong is a massive failure of marketing.

What morons!

It’s not going to normalize anything, if that’s your concern. It’s a stupid erotica book that’s clearly kinking on the forbidden. Readers are in far more danger of learning bad ways of thinking from every sexy lamp in every shitty piece of mainstream media.

[timdrakegeocities]

strap in bc this may slow burn be the weirdest most frustrating ffa comment yet

I've talked to a couple of people in fandom who are in their early 20s or late teens (18+), and after they come to trust me a bit, with a lot of hand-wringing and "oh my god I know this is wrong and sick and evil what is wrong with me" they'll confess their kinks. Maybe not the worst ones first. I'll give them a couple of rational reasons why that's fine so long as fiction stays fiction, and they may not release all of that shame right away, but they relax just a fraction. These people aren't active antis, they're not interested in going out of their way to bully anyone, they just heard a lot of messages that these things are Bad, and that seemed pretty reasonable to them. If someone else was accused of it, they couldn't really argue that that was Bad, in their worldview. The only problem is, they're Bad too, and no one must know of it. To some degree, the shamelessness is in their eyes harder to accept than the kinks themselves. Yes, plenty of them have dirtybadwrong kink alts, where they talk to other people on their dirtybadwrong kink alts, and keep that off their main identity. But they're not just doing it as some of us might, to avoid bullying and harassment, but as a way of signaling that they know right from wrong, even if they are human and sin too. I think about how attitudes towards piracy also changed in the past 15 or so years. It went from "friends share links of the new episode with friends," where plenty of people would have the links on their LJs for their followers, to something where...eh, we all pirate, I mean we've all done it at some point, none of us is without sin there, but you're not supposed to talk about it, and if you do, you're supposed to say it sheepishly, showing you know it's wrong. People will even outright fight someone who says piracy is morally fine, they'll get dogpiled, but when any of those people can't find something legally easily, or ehhh you have to sign up for a whole new streaming service for that, or that's a bit expensive but I want it, or whatever, they never uninstalled utorrent or anything. It's a "necessary evil," or a thing we all do but the good people feel bad about. Most of the people who feel this way aren't really invested enough to lead any anti charges. But when you get Canceled, they won't defend you, either. They'll avoid you to protect their own reputations, nothing personal. Privately, they may think your content was fine, but you went just a little bit too far being so brazen and shameless about it, that if you'd just chill and make a dirty fap sock like everyone else you'd be fine, but they can't very well say so, for obvious reasons. Another example of this: look at the posts for any "problematic" ship. Like if you want a really problematic one, how about RickMorty. All the shippers on their Rickmorty socks are all "ahh yes delicious sin! :D" The owners of those accounts wouldn't give you the time of day from their mains if you got "canceled," even if it was for some much lesser infraction.

i just. dont even know how to deal with this. like how is this an anti-lite thing instead of just. normal. like yeah the amount of Shame about it is unhealthy but i also dont trust anyone on ffa to be reporting honestly on that, like i dont think anyone is going crying to this person like Ooohh im such an evil person im so sowwyyy, theyre probably like. ‘i like gross stuff but i know its bad irl.’ like i just cant get past how anything they talk about anti-lite stuff its just... literally normal... i know i know that enforcing ‘normalcy’ is bad and all i just dont know how else to like. put it. i just dont think its puritan or weird or evil to keep private things private. theres a difference between the friends i rapidly made then lost in 2016 who were like ‘omg yikesy’ because i like... watched hannibal... vs the friends i still have who i know are very uncomfortable with certain interests or kinks or whatever so i just like... would not bring those up with them... because thats basic human courtesy... its okay to curate a space where you talk about that stuff and a space where you dont... online and especially irl... and like sure if you want everything to be on your main thats your choice because online doesnt have to be real life but you also have to kinda understand that you cant expect it to always go smoothly if you like. interact with random sfw accounts from your nsfw. because thats a bit like entering a certain type of space in like a provocative manner. like this is just....... how the world works, dude...

also what kind of absolute losers are you hanging out with who think that way about piracy

[beavesaintmarie]

reyys replied to your post “one of the frustrating things right now about sansa effectively...”

I don't know who Jon Snow is any more. All of his interactions are a mess even with Ghost and he's not even a person. He think he's in control because he will always do what he thinks is best for the North that he loves but now he's supposed to truly love the 'true' North and i'm like WTF since when?!?! Okay, sis. Whatever helps D&D sleep at night.

Jon has been all over the place since he left WF in s7 and imma keep saying this and idc who gets mad about it, but j/nerys was one of the singularly worst things to happen to his ENTIRE characterization. 

first off it woulda never worked cause both of them are two of the most static characters in the series who have VERY different world views and VERY different ways of ruling and the show made it clear via Sansa and Varys last night (and via Sam in episode 1 of this season) that those two are foils to each other and always have been

. and so to make this ~relationship~ work they had to essentially rob one of everything that makes them.......them (that person being jon) so that they could try to rationalize why these two people who have nothing in common with each other besides hella chromosomes would even be in the same room let alone in a romantic relationship. 

and the thing is, the romance hasn’t even been written well??? like i love a good bit of fucked up dirtybadwrong shipping and even *I* can’t get it up for them??? 

cause the writing ain’t there, the chemistry aint there...........the nothing ain’t there. 

and lol because i know what all of this is ultimately in aid of it frustrates me that jon, a character i really love, had to get WRECKED to facilitate the impact of  certain.....events.......

[hearthouses]

Good Omens

my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: Anathema, if I am being truly honest. Sweet, brave, dedicated girl that gets to live her own life and forge her own destiny as her happy ending. But fandom is testing me and my spite answer is Aziraphale. Also Adam and The Them are adorable children and I love them all. 

my trash-shit fave: Both Aziraphale and Crowley are this. They are such failures in what they’re supposed to be, but also kind of great at what they’re not supposed to be? It’s what makes them fun! 

my I love to hate them fave: Gabriel is just. So punchable. But I enjoy Jon Hamm’s performance. 

my I hate to love them fave: I guess all four of the Horsepeople? Like. We’re not actually supposed to root for them, but also they’re so excited! To go on their ride! And end the world! And they’re all so fun and pretty, but also grotesque and I just love them. Please someone write me OT4 fic! 

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: Hastur. Every time Hastur shows up, he sucks the fun right out of the air and I want to die. 

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: I... don’t really have one of these? Like I love Crowley, but fanon woobified Crowley gets on my nerves and their continued demonization of Aziraphale is seriously cramping my style, but it doesn’t diminish my love of Crowley. So I don’t really have. One of these? 

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: Newt! Though I have actually grown pretty fond of him in defense of everyone else acting like he’s THE WORST when Shadwell is over there..... existing. Calling Madame Tracey whorephobic slurs. 

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: Crowley/Aziraphale. Like. Would there have been another ship here? Come on.

my dirtybadwrong fave ship: Death/War/Famine/Pollution apocalypse funtimes OT4 that someone (aka not me) should write me porn for. 

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: Anathema/Newt! Though I am found now because of some... bad hot takes. 

my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: I ship the fandom juggernaut so....

my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: Aziraphale/Crowley/Gabriel. I can’t take it. I am so soft in this fandom and I can’t handle dark fic for my OTP, and most of this fic is like... Hydra Trash Party levels of bad that I just don’t want to see. 

[laguera25]

Touch and Geaux?  Oh, Hell, No

I've known about the Cut and Run series for a long time, but never read it because my to-read pile is already longer than my lifespan.  After hearing about the angstfest that was Touch and Geaux, I decided to give it a read.

Everything went swimmingly at first.  I was Team Zane when the truth about Ty's assignment came to light.  What an awful thing, to think, that the man you loved and wanted to marry had been lying the whole time.  Who knows how much of what passed between you was true?  I was wholly unsurprised when Zane went sailing off the wagon, and I didn't blame him when he decided to have a go at rearranging Ty's face.  I'd want that, too, and fuck Ty running, the shitgibbon.

But then...

Trigger Warning for discussion of r*pe and sexual assault

Look, if you think your lover is a lying shitheel who's used you for his own shady ends and want to punt his nutsack into his eyebrows, be my guest, but rape is not okay.  Ever.  And yes, I know Abi swears it was consensual.  Bunk.  Getting hard does not equal consent, and it was loathesomely obvious that Ty let Zane rape him because he thought he deserved it.  Abi may have intended to write dubcon, but what ended up on the page was just a flat-out, dag-nasty rape that was condoned by the text.  All of this was made worse by Zane calling Ty a whore(and not in the dirtybadwrong sexytimes sense, either, but in the most demeaning possible)and patently enjoying the ugly detachment of it.

And I'm supposed to view Zane as the hero?  You've got to be joking.  Ty was wrong for lying and deserved to get dumped.  Zane was a monster.

And yet, they're making tender, urgent love again ten pages later.  Fuck.  You.  That is not how people work, nor should they.  The entire scene made my skin crawl and killed any desire I might have had for Ty and Zane to get the happily ever after.  They did, it seems, and it makes me want to gag.  The Laura marrying her rapist plot on <i>General Hospital</i> has been rightly pilloried as foul romanticization of rape, but apparently, it's totes okay if it's two hot dudes.  Ty just had to pay for his sin by taking a right good fucking, and look what he made poor hurting Zane do.

Brb, going to dip myself in bleach.

[ltleflrt]

hiii for the ask game for fanfic writers 1,2,6 & 9 honestly there were a lot of great questions on there I couldn't pick just one and I haven't even read them all

I remember one time I did one of these ask post thingies, and it was like 50 questions and someone sent me an ask that just said "all of them please" 😆

do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

I'm almost always stumbling through the wilderness. I've had a few fics where I knew exactly what the end goal was, and of that small number, an even smaller percentage ended up how I planned. But most of the time I'm posting my 1st chapter with only a vague idea of what chapter 2 is going to entail lol

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

ADDICTED TO YOU. Gods, that fucking fic. It was supposed to be 10-15k of dirtybadwrong smut. It was going to have a dark ending. NO FLUFF WHATSOEVER. And then out of nowhere the True Name thing came up, not even halfway through the first chapter. And suddenly there was a PLOT. It ended up being the longest thing I'd ever written at that time, full of fluff and romance, and a sappy sweet ending. All because Dean and Cas couldn't say each other's names during sex. What. The fuck. How?? I still don't know.

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

I like to write on my breaks and lunch while I'm at work. It works like writing sprints, and I get a lot done during them. It's only an hour over the course of a day, but sometimes all I need is 3 days and I've got the chapter done. Occasionally I'll also spend an hour writing just before getting ready for bed, but that's more spontaneous. And I generally don't like to write on the weekends, so I keep most of it to Monday through Friday.

Although the last few chapters I've written of Omega and the Beast have been Saturday binge writing sessions, but I'm not going to argue with my muse about the sanctity of lazy weekends when she's been erratic about showing up lately lol

9. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Yeah I think so. I'm worried that the adaptation wouldn't do the original any justice though. Would Satin and Sawdust make a good movie if you can't have Tiny Demon!Dean providing commentary? Would Dreaming in Digital get the Wachowski treatment it deserves? Could HBO get away with all the smut in Addicted To You, or would I have to settle for subpar porn actors and a straight to dvd release in adult stores?

[canardroublard]

For the fandom ask thing, Mozart in the Jungle! Also hi :)

First off, HI and thank you for sending this. :D Now then:

My beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: Cynthia. Maybe not a cinnamon roll in the traditional sense, but absolutely MY cinnamon roll

my trash-shit fave: Thomas

my I love to hate them fave: Ana Maria

my I hate to love them fave: Ana Maria (I never said it wasn't complicated)

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: easy answer, but Maestro Rivera

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: don't really have one? I only hover at the periphery of this fandom, I'm not in deep enough to pick up on this stuff

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: none of the leads, really? Can only think of that assistant chick whose name I forget.

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: oh god how do I answer this. Hailey/Rodrigo, I suppose, but not in an "I think they belong together and will eventually ride off into the sunset" way. More a "these two very flawed people have a raw, intense, messy relationship that is very imperfect but fascinatingly imperfect" way. I would watch these two circle each other and fuck things up forEVER.

my dirtybadwrong fave ship: Cynthia/Hailey. I wouldn't quite call it dirtybadwrong, but they'd make amazing fuckbuddies. Just sayin'.

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: Thomas/Gloria

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: can't think of any

my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: can think of hypotheticals, but nothing I've actually seen posted about

[oryoucouldstay]

Riverdale for the ask thing!

1. my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: elizabeth cooper (DUH)

2. my trash-shit fave: i don’t think i have one?

3. my i love to hate them fave: i think that’s gonna be gladyse jones for me once she pays a visit

4. my i hate to love them fave: don’t really have one

5. my i wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: hiram lodge

6. my i didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now i can’t stand them non-fave: cheryl

7. my i could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: not sure what this is supposed to mean so no clue?

8. my i will go down with this ship and i won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. i’m in love and always will be fave ship: bughead. always have and always will.

9. my dirtybadwrong fave ship: don’t have one

10. my they’re cute together and i dig them but i’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: varchie

11. my i didn’t care about them either way at first but this fandom makes such a big deal about it now i can’t stand it non-fave ship: choni

12. my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: moose and kevin. don’t even know their ship name and never want to know.

[axolotiels]

Portal Fandom

my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave:ORACLE TURRET, egg with leg, very good

my trash-shit fave:Wheatley, he’s a shit

my I love to hate them fave:uhm…. dunno?

my I hate to love them fave:Cave, kinda?

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave:i gotta agree with El and say FUCK the scientists that experimented on GLaDOS

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave:Chell

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave:Chell again

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship:GLaDOS/Good Testing, the best ship

my dirtybadwrong fave ship:GLaDley; I started shipping it to spite people but now I genuinely love it, it’s terrible

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship:chelley i suppose? idk there’s potential there but people get mad LMAO

my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship:chell/DOS makes me want to choke cassowaries, I cannot bloody S T A N D it

my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship:um… hmm… I’m tempted to say Chell/DOS again but i feel thats a little overdramatic

[groundramon]

appmon/digimon

my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave: H-Haru…he’s my son ok

my trash-shit fave: Rei or if I’m supposed to not make this entirely Appmon, I wanna say TK cause lmfao dub TK is a treasure

my I love to hate them fave: do arukenimon and mummymon count

my I hate to love them fave: Zoe but only cause the Frontier writers suck, zoe is a great girl people are just pedos :/

my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave: I wouldn’t piss on anyone if they were on fire but Ryo, June, or the Frontier writers tbh

my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave: bold of you to assume i give a shit abt the fandom

my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave: uhhhhh literally anyone from fusion tbh

my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship: HARUJIN, davis tk and ken, also harujin + rei, rika/jeri, theres more but basically any non-weird gay ship is good shit

my dirtybadwrong fave ship: if you say “dirtybadwrong” and “Digimon” in the same sentence again ill kill you

my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship: TK and Kari

my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship: also TK and Kari

my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship: anything heterosexual that is canon. non-canon heterosexuals can stay but its not my cup of tea. canon but not endgame ships are on EXTREMELY thin ice.