#TRANS WOMAN GAY GIRL AWESOME BIG GIANT !!

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i feel weird chibifying her because suddenly shes shorter or her shoulders are less broad or whatever.. i dont want to betray her

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Jake Reviews Stuff: Bojack Horseman: Horay Todd Episode! (Plus a little bit on girls with slingshots)

Happy final day of pride month everybody! It’s been a hell of a ride.. and not just because the current landscape of the globe feels like hell right now, And to close it out we’re taking a look at an often overlooked segment of the queer community in media: Asexuality. I first learned about asexuality from the web comic girls with slingshots, because I love comic strips as much as comic books and because mainstream media tens to be really bad about telling people about diffrent facets of the lbtqa+ community, proven by the fact It took me till 2010, 18 years into my existince, to learn trans people existed from the long running candian teen drama Degrassi, birthplace of candian rapper Drake despite his damndest attempts to make people forget that, and a show that actually tackled the subject really well and the horrible shit trans people have to put up with, especially at Adam’s age. I also bring it up to apologize for a lack of trans representation of this pride as I scratched my head trying to think of some.. only to forget “oh yeah that really damn good rocko special from last year exists and has been sitting there all month dumbass” as I was writing this. I’m truly sorry and will try to get a review of static cling out sometime in june as an apology. 

Back to Girls with Slingshots though because like with degrassi I want to give it genuine props and a talk here both for teaching me about it and being really good at queer representation in general. We actually meet the comic’s Ace representivie Erin, a shy 19 or 20 year old, when lead and professional dumbass Hazel hired Erin to find out who was dating her friend Jamie.. turns out

Given Jamie had only been dating men up to this point, and her one time with a woman lead to her assuming she wasn’t bisexual,  when Jamie TRIED to tell Hazel what was going on Hazel, being kind of a dim, assumed it was an aaron and Erin decided rather than just you know, show up and let the the hamster in hazel’s brain slowly figure it out to do this. 

Why yes that is a tiny asexual wearing the most transparent graucho marx-ish disguise ever. And why yes Hazel absolutely falls for it and even when Erin outright takes off the disguise it still takes Hazel a good minute to connect the dots. And why yes, this strip is awesome and is worth taking a large amount of time to talk about in an almost entirely unreatled article, more than i’d planned really. But eventually things hit a snag: the two TRIED having sex before Erin left to go to school in london.. and given i’ve out and out admited she’s asexual, you can guess it went badly, with Jamie feeling bad it was so uncomfortable and didn’t talk to her until visting her in london, where the two patched things up: They still loved each other, Erin was simply asexual and Jamie realized she was biromantic.  However this didn’t mean Jamie herself was asexual.. and to Corsetto’s credit she actually fully dealt with this. After Jamie accidently became a meme while complaning about how horny she felt, the two had an honest talk about it, with Erin revealing she was perfectly fine if Jamie hooked up with dudes to satisfy her needs. It was a nice compromise and one of the first times I also learned polyamory wasn’t just something some weird asshole on tv did where he forced three women into what looked like an utterly miserable situation. What i’m saying is polgamy isn’t the same as polyamory and sister wives is objectively terrible and i’ve only seen minutes of it. 

In fact the current daily reprint is up to this storyline and has Erin wing womaning for her girlfriend. And yes I do acknowledge this won’t be a solution for EVERY couple, everyone is diffrent.. it was really nice to show a relationship between two people of diffrent and wildly underrepresented sexual orentations that , rather get into a depressing thunderstorm over something like this, talk it out like adults and work out a resonalbe solution. Hence why I took several paragraphs of something else entirely to get into it. If you want more , check the strip out here. 

https://www.girlswithslingshots.com

Okay now that plot cul de sac is out of the way, though I don’t regret a minute of it, you see the problem: Girls was the exception not the role and media wise, has a small but loyal fanbase. Big shows just didn’t really get that asexuality existed. But then one decided:let’s go let’s do this... so now i’ve talked about something else entirley for a good few paragraphs let’s talk about Bojack horseman Bojack Horseman is, like SU last time, one of the best shows of the last decade animated or otherwise. And like Steven, and adventure time before steven, it changed the game on what a genre of animation could do. See while Animation was going thorugh another renicssance in the 2010′s, it was mostly on the kids side for the first half.. Adult Animation was...

While there were good shows,after all Archer is a child of the 2010′s, bob’s burgers premired shortly after, and venture bros was, and still is, goin.. they were the exception. Family Guy was devloving from a really funny show to a horrible, unfunny mess that was and probably still is the television equilvent of screaming racist and offensive things just to piss people off and thus get attention and Adult Swim hit a slump, with several great shows like metalocalypse slowly leaving, and most that was left were garbage like Mr.Pickles. It .. wasn’t a great time. 

But around half way two shows changed things and most adult animation stood up and took notice; Rick and Morty, which while i’m not as much of a fan these days was and still to some small degree is a really funny show while also having a deeply complex and deeply deconstructed lead. And around the same time. we got Bojack.  As you probably know, Bojack was the tale of Bojack Horseman, a former 90′s sitcom star who starred in Horsin Around, basicaly fully house if uncle joey adopted orphans with bits of other tgif shows mixed in. Also he’s a horse and this world has a mixture of humans and various anthropormphic animals. And they dont’ shy away from that either and use that for a LOT of great jokes. Anyways Bojack is now a washed up asshole whose done tons, and as the show goes on continues to do, terribe things to get where he was, and is now trying to hang on to the scraps of his career. Around him are Princess Caroline, a pink cat and his agent and ex-girlfriend who wants a real realtionshpi , a baby and her career to go somewhere, Mr. Peanutbutter, Bojack’s dim aquantince who was on a ripoff show (which only PB seems not to get and is even called “Untitled horsing around ripoff project” at first in a flashback) and is really nice but also really bad at reading people, Diane, PB’s wife for most of the series who soon becomes bojack’s friend when she’s hired to do his autobigoraphy, and today’s subject, Todd, a 20 something cloudcuckoolander who crashed on Bojack’s couch after a party, and just.. never left since Bojack thought todd was kicked out for being gay and brought him in for brownie points (he was just lazy), and then despite insulting Todd constanlty kept him around because he was crushingly lonely and before Diane, had no other friends.  There’s obviously more to it. more evolutions but as the episode title shows, today’s ep is all about Todd, so we’ll be focusing on what he’s been up to: Todd spent most of the first two seasons just kinda.. bouncing around. Whlie the a-plots could be more serious, most todd plots were wacky palette cleansears, from him ending up in jail and trying to court two gangs at once like it was that one episode of family ties every sitcom sense has copied, made a giant copy of his own head over months, or started a safe cab company for women that somehow ended up as stripper cabs. Season 3 however added more weight: Bojack’s various slights against Todd were piling up, and he was starting to get tired of it, the straw that broke the camel’s back coming when Todd’s ex emily, who todd failed to sleep with because he didn’t want to but, not knowing what an asexual even was, couldn’t comincate with it and bojack having a really bad track record of thinking with his dick.. you can kinda see what happened.

Finding out much later, after Bojack used emily telling him not to as an easy way out of telling him and both were kinda stupid with that, and Todd eventually found out something happened.. but when Bojack tells him it was sex, Todd is genuinely suprised and had, for the last time expected better of him. Really Todd is a great deconsturction of the wacky sidekick in shows like this: the often abused optimist oppisite of the pesmist asshole protaganist. But here it shows.. that can only go on  so long. You can only treat a person like dogshit so many times before they grow tired of you and as Todd prepares to move out and bum around somewhere else we get one of the most iconic, and best, scenes in the series as Todd unloads on bojack after the horse tries apologizing.. couched in excuses. 

“It’s you bojack, it’s alwasy eben you” This scene hit like a truck, not just due to Aaron Paul absolutley killing it, but because as someone with a bad habit, even sometimes falling back into it, of justifying why I did something bad afterwords or blaming other people for far too long, if not NEARLY to the extent bojack did, it resonated. Sure those kinds of things may have LEAD you to the things you do but sometimes, your just doing shitty things and no amount of reason for it makes it okay. And it was a bold step to take: while the two talked on occasion and their friendship KINDA regrew, it never REALLY recovered from this. Things didn’t go back in the bottle. Bojack lost one of his best friends as his friend.. they were in the same orbit but it’d never be the same.  Todd did eventually tell Emiliy what he was dealing with and Emily told him what he was, and Todd started crashing on mr.peanutbutter’s couch because, unsuprisingly, the two eventually became close friends. So with Emily out of the picture, while she liked todd she needded sex and neither of them thought of an open relationship, that’s where we find Todd, grapling with his asexuality while getting into his usual wacky misadventures, which hadn’t and would never stop, as evidenced by the horrifying sex robot he created to try and please emily in a later season. So with all of that FINALLY out of the way. we can finally dig into horay todd episode after the read more. Because while i’m going to try doing that less to get more readers.. this episode is giant just at the introduction and is a half an hour long. 

We open with an orchestra, nervous Todd won’t show up for his solo.. because of course Todd’s a regular part of an orchestra now. He shows up in time to do his bit on the triangle, cheers all around

Att the bar, the various musicians wonder just who Todd is. Was in a prison gang? (Yes two in fact as stated above) A foreign prince?? ( He looked just like one and they swapizesd for an episode), a tech billionare? (For all of five minutes) Or is he both?... there isn’t a both here I don’t know why I did that. However the conductor roars in, he’s a lion, .. and it’s keith david everybody!

As you can probably wager Keith David is a faviorite of mine, one of the best voice actors around, a fantastic live actor, and just all around awesome dude.. and still pretty damn hot at 64. And while this is a minor role, ANY time keith david shows up is cause for celebration and I honestly forgot he was in this, so it was a nice suprise. 

We then find out how the two know each other, with the conductor calling Todd “The most giving man he’s ever known.” Accurate. Todd once saved his pregnant daughter from a shipwreck carrying her on his back, delivered said baby on a piece of driftwood then circumcised said baby while hanging from a rescue copter.. and also had a spirited but respectful debate before hand about how circumcion had fallen out of vouge, with them eventually deciding on it since the lions are jewish and she’d like the option for the baby to join the relgion if he so chooses when they grow up. Which is both a great gag and a nice nod to circumcisons not being popular these days, and makes todd even awesome. I mean not every man would not only be repsectful when talking to a mother about this, but do so while hanging from a helicopter. Also props to the old timey paperback illustrations, which doubly sell the sudden debate bit. It’s something I love the show: while it’s one of the most depressing in existance, it’s also god a wonderfully goofy sense of humor that helps ballance things out.  The conductor then explains todd later filled in last year when their triangle player died after getting his foot stuck in his triangle, another good one, but worries about todd and just how MUCH the man gives and wishes sometimes to see him not there when his part comes up, to see Todd give for himself. Then of course Todd spoils the move by coming out drenched in water with greasy hands, having tried to wash taco stains off his shirt, but then got greasy hands from said taco he ewa sstill holding and being trapped in a bathroom for an hour. That’s Todd in a nutshell: He can be legendary, selfless and utterly helpful or insightful one minute, and somehow get trapped in a hallway for an entire episode the next. That.. actually happened in case you either didn’t know or entirely forgot. Cue Credits.. a FIRST for this show suprisingly. Given most shows i’ve done are 11 minutes the credits usually happen before the show and I just forget to talk about them. I”ll breifly say the credits for Bojack are exellent and I love how they evolved and changed as each season wore on, and give the team kudos for doing what most shows just simply won’t or can’t do in western animation.

We’re at the peanutbutter residence, where PB is in the middle of his political campagin, working with his controlling and assholish ex wife katrina, and Todd gives him some pocket cheese to help but get’s shoed off and works on breakfast in the background with a giant egg for some reason. Probably because all animals are sentient here. And yes they explained how they still got meat. Anyways, Diane is annoyed that Katrina wants PB to decide if he’s for or against fracking based on public approval, insstead of you know just.. being against it because it’s wrong. She’s STILL better about it than that one episode of last man of earth I watched where the straw man liberal asshole argued with the consertaive asshole lead over a pothole they had and refused to just let his son belivie god exists because it calmed him down and in the next one forcibly dressed said son up as coal to mock his future mother in law because he’s as bad as the lead character, because this show is miserable and Ryan is what the writers apparently think a liberal is.  Anyways as this goes on we see Todd.. pulling his weight. He packs diane a lunch, leaves it by her purse as she gets ready to go to work, makes said giant egg into an omlette for pb and sets up a nice breakfast complete wtih his medication hidden inside because dog. We see that despite crashing there Todd has grown from where he was and is now making sure to actively contribute to the house as thanks for letting him stay. Anyways PB needs his glasses to take them off to seem sincer because he left htem at princess carolyn’s, she also represents Peanut Butter, Todd and Diane. Todd heads off, though dosen’t sign for a package as he once ended up with cremated remains, or cremains as he calls them and I now will, over it because of course he did and heads off while a mysterious horse in a trench coat watches... more on her in a bit.

At Carolyn’s agency , PC annoynces “it’s todd” with todd giving back an excited it’s me... he should enter the room like that every time. It really fits. Anyways, it turns out PC needed him for help with actress Courtney Pourtnory, whose in femalecentric Taken spinoff ms.taken, which i’m shocked wasn’t an actual movie. There’s also a lot of tounge twisting puns which as always Amy Sedaris flawlessly delivers and that i’ll miss now the show is gone. Anyways Courtney isn’t seen as relatable so PC goes with the oldest trick in the book: have some normal guy date the celebrity to see them as relatbale and well todd’s on retainer. Todd is reluctant, less so due to his  asexuality and more because he’s not only already busy with the sunglass errand, but has a meeting tonight. intresting. But PC ensures todd it’s no trouble and they can just do lunch for the paparazzi and todd does like the idea of having his picture taken. “It’s proof I exist.” It’s the same reason I hate having mine taken. It’s proof I still exist and this hell year hasn’t ended yet. 

Back at the campagin unsuprisingly what todd didn’t sign for was important and Katrina just tells him to sign for Pb next time, which is like giving a dog a play bone that also has a dart full of poison that shoots out of it into the rest of the living room. There’s no way this ends well and you should know that. So Katrina asks him to dance a little sidestep on the issue instead. 

This movie is eh but this musical number is awesome and I will use it at any opportunity. Rest in peace Charles Durning. It helps it’s still relevant as hell for both sides of the isle. Anyways Todd signs a letter to the state goverment because again, telling todd to do something without even remotely thinking about it is like giving a baby a boomerang loaded with nitro glcyerne, but soon gets cloroformed by our mysterious viewer. “And down goes todd. “.. said by todd himself because of course he did> God bless this man and aaron paul’s performance.  “And up comes todd!” .. whose, not suprisingly, apparently been drugged and/or knocked out enough to have a catchphrase for these situations. After grabbing a pool skimmer for defense because you know a stranger just kidnapped him, the stranger calms him down and introduces himself: And this is where we properly meet Hollyhock..  Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack which I copied directly from the wiki because this review is already running long and running behind, and I don’t want to spend an hour trying to copy that from the episode itself. The nightmare of a name, which is a running gag is because she was adopted.. by 8 gay men in a polyamours relationship. And one of them is apparently related to launchpad. 

Anyways Hollyhock, who called at the end of last season to no answer, thinks Bojack might be her dad and thus bought a spy kit to figure out. And used the cholorform, if apologizing for it because once you’ve got it you can’t not use it. Todd is unsuprised by both things; As bojack hilariously but horrifyingly put it his penis was like sun dried tomatoes in the 90′s: it was on everything, and Bojack himself had that kit, mostly using it on himself because of course he did. She tracked down Todd because Todd was in Bojack’s book as his roomate. Todd explains they no longer live together and Bojack has been missing, long story there though we do know where he was due to the last episode, but since Hollyhock really dosen’t need to meet him just wants his dna to find out if he’s related or not, so Todd suggest sher house. Time for more cloroform!

At Bojack’s place Todd wonders where to find a hair, since most ladies Bojack is with understandably shower afterwords only for Holly to find one.. and a sleeping unconcious clearly spiraling once again Bojack. Todd lament siwth an oh bojack: just because he’s mostly done with the guy dosen’t mean he still dosen’t care. Todd’s still a good guy and still dosen’t want to see his former friend go through this for the 80th time... he’s just done being the one to be there for him through it and that’s understandably.  Hollyhock yanks a hair which does nothing to wake him, unsuprisingly, but the mention of “blowing this place” makes Bojack wakes up as he thinks people has blow. it’s also telling that he’s worried Todd’s going to yell at him again and that he’s clearly stills marting from his understandable telling off. Todd is force dto make up an excuse since Hollyhock VERY understandably dosen’t want to tell him the truth, and Todd lightly rebuff’s bojack’s attempts to be pals again.. given he hasn’t really changed, it’s understandable. Also Hollyhock cloroforms him to get out of BOjack asking more questions and sends todd to take the dna to a place. Todd heads to  a 1 hour dna testing lab, because of course there’s one this is LA. But without Hollyhock’s dna they can’t do it but the guy says to come back with it in an hour after he’s done with lunch.. which gets Todd to realize OH SHIT I HAVES A DATE and he runs off. The fact he DIDN’T actually say that is a suprise. 

At the date Courtney transparently breaks up with Todd for publicity as Todd is utterly confused, before getting reminded about hollyhock. This scene just kind of happened so have the first gif I find typing “David Byrne” into gif search. 

Back at Bojack’s house all Hollyhock’s done is snoop around, finding Bojack’s box of bad reviews of other people’s sitcoms because of COURSE he has that, eat a full box of donuts and take a nap.. given the simliiarity todd isn’t sure they need that test. Hollyhock naturally refuses and just wants to use todd’s hair but since the dna guy said that don’t work, they find some in her comb. Todd however has to cover for the earlier Maid excuse he gave bojack, nice bit of foreshadowing there, and cleans up the house while Hollyhock sits around. I know she’s not his daughter, still related but still and even I’m having a hard time beliving the truth.  No sooner than does Todd put out that fire, than things get worse; Naturally the signutre was for pro fracking and while Katrina is pissed, not fairly as again, it’s like she handed a baby a shot gun for tots that make sa funny noise when you pull the trigger and is suprised that he shot up the couch. Anyways PB is understandabily more worried his wife will be upset he has to support fracking now, and Todd untietionally offers to distract her from the media while Hollyhock takes a nap because she feels.. really diffrent early on. While parts of her horseman traits would remain here she’s far less friendly or helpful than she would be later on in this half of the episode. it’s not BAD as sometimes it takes an episode or two for a character to properly become what their like for the rest of the series, it’s just WEIRD. Like Red Green’s monotone in early Red Green Show episodes it just feels.. off. 

Todd rushes off to Girl Croosh, the click baity blog diane works for because I forget when things happened sometimes, where Todd is doing the most todd distraction possible: Telling diane to look at him while he dances. Which to Diane’s shock has been going on for 45 minutes. 

Diane’s boss Stefani comes in voiced by the wonderful Kimiko Glenn who I admited to loving as a voice actress, and having a crush on back in my first close enough review and still stand by. She’s wonderful. Stefani berates diane for not being clickbaity enough, other plot for this season etc etc next todd crisis.  Princess Carolyn is annoyed they didn’t get a picture of courtney with todd.. even though she left first but this eems to be the “blame todd for things that are either not his fault or you should’ve expected by talking to him for five minutes” episode. Anyways PC says to be at the shark jacob’s fashion show in 30 minutes, and Diane bemoans trying to get people to pay attention to the world sucking. Todd shows some more competence and actually gives her a good metaphor: When mr.peanutbutter dosen’t want to take his pill, as I expected, Todd disgusied it.. though in the cheese. Just do that: put some hot goss around the rest of it. Todd, to keep her away from the computer with a literal headline that reads “Mr.Peanutbutter supports fracking and hasn’t told his wife yet”, because this show is amazing, makes up a story about Channing Tatum having an illgitamte daughter and gives her the testing hairs. The theme of this scene, and the episode really is that people underestimate todd: understandably the man got lost in a bathroom at the top of this episode and refused to sign a package because of past shenangians... but because of that they fail to see that todd is .. actually really compitent, insightful and caring. IN this one scene he actually suceeds in his mission in the dumbest, toddest way possible, then on the fly kills two errands with one stone while also giving Diane genuinely good advice. But the big question the episode poses is.. what does TODD want at the end of the day and just how much of this “doing everyones shit for htem” should he take?   

As Todd passes a sheep with a wonderful “The end of the wool is coming’ sign, he sneaks into the fashion show.. we also see a background model bird smoking that I SWEAR is a protytpe for tuca, just with a diffrent bodytype and a more aloof, supermodely face. Though if this is the same universe it could just be a sister of hers. It’s not out of the realm of posiblity. And yes I will defintely be talking Tuca and Bertie at some point, especially once it comes back next year. Being todd he ends up walking the runway instead, and it goes poorly, but Todd telling them that fashion shouldn’t be elitest somehow works and he become a hit. Also Tim Gunn is there as himself, beacause this show liked to mix animal versions of celebrites iwth the real ones, and sometimes had the real ones voice the animal versions of themsselves. Todd also gets a call from Diane: it’s a match. ALso I forgot Todd’s wonderful ringtone which is him , to the opening of that one betooven song going “todd todd todd TODD!” Magical Back at the horseman residence, Bojack’s sent hollyhock to go thank channing tatum for collecting his mail and goes through all the mail that piled up while he was MIA. He’s also wallowing about his miss opprtotunites, some involving pottery barn. He’s suprised by PB’s governor run, with Todd countering that of course he knew he’s been around and when Bojack asks how Diane feels Todd shoots that down right away and insists he just ask her himself, and again counters; Does she even know he’s back? Bojack insists he’s no tready, and he’s only told Todd he’s back.. and his various drug guys, channing tatum, and hollyhock. But not his inner circle. And given he and PB tend to not mesh well, though it is getting better at this point, he ruined things with Todd, he dropped PC for entirely warranted reasons.. Diane really IS the only person he has to call and he’s likely afraid of disapointing her. He then tells Todd to friend break up with channing tatum, with todd thinking his speech was about him and being understandably disapointed. I also like Todd’s attiude here: he’s done just.. taking Bojack’s shit and isn’t going to stick around for it and only really agrees to go to channing tatums because Hollyhock’s over there and he needs to tell her. 

Todd goes over and lies to hollyhock after warning her BOjack might not be readyf or a daughter and Hollyhock expresses her own doubts. Then diane shows up and Todd’s force dto play being channing tatum so they both don’t get arrested for trespassing. Diane confronts channig with her thoughts he’s the father, which hollyhock instnatly realizes exactly what that means, but relents on doing so, not wanting to be that kind of journalest and ruin someone’s life for her own benefit. Todd gives her a pep talk and she accepts it’s him because it’s what she thinks channig tatum would say and leaves with a cheery “love half your movies. Hollyhock meanwhile has fled, obviously upset and before Todd can deal with THAT, he gets another call, clearly tired at this point as am I as i’m not only not used to reviewing 22 minute shows anymore, let alone 30 minute ones, but I have a ticking clock due to my own procastination. She once again gets mad at him, this time a bit more understandably, and Todd darts off to meet courtney. 

The two talk, and Courntey is dressed like todd only her hat is 50 dollars.. and that’s a hella don’t... I miss Macklemoore. Anyway, Courtney opens up about being seen by everyone but not being seen at the same time.. which todd relates to even if courtney can’t fathom someone having the same feelings, but admits it’s nice to talk about it while Todd laments about his meeting, worrying h’es not ready yet. That what if it goes badly? What if the idea of something is better than the truth. I realate both due to my anxiety proving that and because as a comics nerd and general nerd, that’s happened more times than I can count, both with legendary stories that turned out to not be very good or something I really looked forward to turning out to be a mess, like It Chapter 2, or Zoolander 2, or Secret Empire or.. point is Courtney does relate to that and prefers fiction and the paparazzi, the same ones who tailed bojack for multiple episodes in season 1, eat it up with Courtney announcing their engagment iwth todd responding with “Horay i’m confused!”... that’s me all day everyday buddy. 

Todd goes back to Bojack’s to find Hollyhock, and being a good friend even to someone who certainly dosen’t deserve it at this point, tells Bojack the truth.. which he reflexvley denies before Todd admits she didn’t want to tell him and Bojack. understands and once again piles pity on himself. 

We then get the scene that got me to review this in the first place.. thanks asshole! All jokes aside, the two have an honest conversation: Bojack, while not outright saying sorry admits all he does is hurt people and he slept with the one person he ever saw todd be in love with... given it’s hard for him to give out a genuine apology, it’s still a good moment as it shows Bojack, even if he screws up constantly, is really apologetic about destroying their freindship. That part also shows WHY it was wrong: Sure todd couldn’t and wouldn’t sleep with her.. but it dosen’t change the fact Bojack SHOULDN’T have , knew what he was doing, did it anyway and then never told him. 

He continues with it though after todd wonders if he’s evne allowed to love. , saying he got more of Todd than he deserved, and all the guy asked for was a roof over his head and the ocasional smore in a baquet, and tells todd he didn’t deserve him and he really appricated him. This.. actually gets Todd to open up and he comes out as Asexual to bojack which after making it clear it means he’s not a sexual deviant, dynamo or what have you, a great wordplay gag, that he’s just not sexual.. Bojack.. shockingly and to Todd’s suprise dosen’t think it’s weird like he expected, but is thrilled and honeslty wishes sometimes he was asexual and we get what I consider to be the best joke of the seris.  Bojack; Maybe then I wouldn’t have A strain of herpes Todd; You have multiple strains Bojack: I know, it only works with the A.  Todd feels.. good.. while i’m not Ace myself I am bisexual and both times i’ve come out, first to my mom and a few friends, then to the rest of the world this month on facebook, it felt.. freeing. To not have to worry or hide no more.. to just be who you are.. and it feels.. good to Todd. While Bojack tries to slide back into friendship since todd isn’t mad about Emily anymore, Todd gently stops him: It wasn’t just here, as I made clear earlier, he’s not ready to be his friend again.. but hes ready to be more than NOT friends. While their freindship won’t be the same anymore, as Todd makes painfully clear.. Todd gives him a genuine i’t’s good to see you as he leaves. Again he may not LIKE the guy anymore and understandably dosen’t want to be the only person he can count on in bojack’s life... he still wants the guy to be okay, which the fans could probably relate to the whole damn series; Being fed up with his bullshit and TERRIBLE TERRIBLE actions, but wanting him to be better already. The door rings.. and it’s HOllyhock. We MIGHT get to that another time, but for now we close out Pride, and todd’s tale as todd goes to his meeting... which as it turns out...

While there is still more miles on Todd’s journey, ending his sham engagement set up here, a failed relationship and a sucessful relationship at the end of the series, not to mention reconcliation with his family... Todd takes an important step and takes what he wants, finding his people and being proud of who he is.. and that’s sometimes the best and hardest step. And we get a nice button on the framing device as Todd misses his solo for the first time, to the conductors delight. The End. 

Final Thoughts: This was a really good rewatch.  While not AS heavy as some other bojack episodes, it still has plenty of good character work, moving along or setting up several plots for the season without any of it feeling forced whlie giving Todd added depth in his coming out story. Todd still dosen’t fully understand what his asexuaity is and is scared to be open with it.. but that beautiful scene above is what makes the episode work as is the ending right after: By finally telling someone he knows, and by being accepted by the last person he’d expect to not only understand what Todd is but embrace it.. he can finally find others like him to help him through it and finally find something for himself after giving so much to everyone else while asking nothing in return.  That’s also a nice bit of deconsturction here... while Todd’s happy to help we do ssee bouncing from storyline to storyline actually wears on him and that sometimes it’s tiring being the guy everyone assumes has nothing but time for htem. It’s a nice development and Aaron Paul does it beauitfully and I do stand by HIS casting, as unlike with Allison brie where they knew diane would be an vitamese woman and cast a white woman anyway, though to Ralph-Paul’s credit, he’s throughly apologized for this and Allison Brie herself recently also apologized for it personally in the wake of the recent black lives matter lead call to not have white actors voice People of Color anymore. Also props to Jenny SLate for, if a bit late , still leaving big mouth for the last two seasons and apologizing herself among with any other actor or actress whose dropped a role as a POC when their white. It’s a good trend. But here.. I get why they didn’t try and get rid of Aaron Paul. It was probably hard enough to get executives to give a shit about Ace representaation enough to let htem do it, adding “firing a big name draw to replace him wiht a likely no name” was probably a bridge too far and sadly, sometimes you have to pick your battles, and they picked getting to have an ace character at all and to Aaron Paul’s credit he’s been an Ace ally ever since. HOpefully in the future we will get more ace chracters and more ace actors and actresses playing the part, but every journey begins with a sigle step and this storyline was a huge one.  But overall the episode is truly fantastic, a highight in a series full of amazing episodes and it was a good note to go out on for this month. I won’t stop doing LBGTQA reviews obviously, and I should’ve added the a way sooner, but it’s been fun doing them and i’ve been proud too. Some have been better than others but the better one shave been some of my best work. So as we live in uncertain and stupid times, stay safe , black live matter and your all beautiful. I have other stuff in the works; a full steven unvierse arc, regular coverage and of course that “sorry I was a moron” static cling review, but until then, I love you all and i’d like, if I may, to close on a song... not by me obviously my singing voice is “sorta adaquate I guess’ at best. 

[galaxylohnce]

VUD paladin headcanons!!!!

BTW this is based off of @voltronuniversaldefender ‘s reboot!!! CHECK THEM OUT THEYRE DOING GOD’S WORK

also i have read approx 2 headcanons and baRELY understand this AU so if there are similarities to anyone else or inconsistencies iT IS AN ACCIDENT AND IM SORRY

anyway this is just about the 4 confirmed paladins BET ill be doing more about Fa’rah/Takashi/Zahi/Ashanti once i know a bit more about their roles in the team!!

Alvaro Garcia Valladares

he has a twin. i don't make the rules, but he has a twin.

he has a big family. the biggest family. we’re talking, his mom has 8 siblings and his dad has 9 and there’s a 10 year age gap between him and his oldest sibling and he loves them all so much

natia is his best friend. i repeat, NATIA IS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!!

he’s also quite close with kiki. Natia and Kiki are the only two that he met before their great space adventure

he wasn't really sure of his sexuality at first. (i say this because i wasn't sure of my sexuality at first - im bi btw - and all the media i saw told me that any lgbt+ character was 100% sure of their sexuality form the day they were born, which made me doubt myself bc i didn't figure it out till recently, so i wanna see that in some media!! sometime!!) he probably figured it out halfway through having a crush on someone

the someone is akio, and he definitely tells Natia about it first

“natia... natia listen.... I have a crush on akio. freakin akio.... what do i do??? I’m bi, natia... I'm bi. what does this mean -”

“alvaro, I'm so proud of you, but this is a public bathroom and akio is right outside -”

GUARANTEE that the first time he saw Akio he just basically wanted to fight him but also flirt with him and had a slight moral crisis and ended up doing nothing

he is a goddamn sharpshooter, okay. he straight up becomes famous for it throughout the galaxy.

yet despite that he’s still insecure, and those insecurities prevent him from really getting together w akio until much later

he comes off as very suave and extroverted when you first meet him, but underneath it all, he’s actually really warm, personable and funny: not that anyone outside the team know that 

aliens on social media, probably: god, the blue paladin is so cool... i bet he’s amazing and awesome and eloquent...

meanwhile, alvaro: do u guys think i could fit my whole hand in my mouth or nah?

enjoys memes, and shares this love with kiki

basically an all around great guy. because he often felt like a seventh wheel at the beginning of the formation of the team, he always tries to include everybody as best as possible, going way out of his way to ask after people, even if they forget to ask about him sometimes :’)

Natia Nanai

first off: what a gorgeous name. seriously. incredible kudos, my dude. anyway on to the head canons for this gorgeous girl

probably alvaro’s soulmate. already mentioned this, but it needs reiteration. they are best friends

had a large family too (not as big as alvaros tho) and probably major relate to him with that big family dealio

v close with kiki. they complete each other on a technological level. 

natia is very, very creative. she and her sweet engineering know how are always instrumental in getting the Team out of tough situations

Akio: theres no way out of this we’re going to die -

Natia: bet?

she does say “bet” a lot. like, almost too much? but she's always right and valid when she says it

the villain: i’ve got you now!!!!

natia, under her breath: bet

the paladins, thinking: thank god, we’re saved

very soft but also badass as hell. she has a unique duality.

pulls a violet baudelaire: she puts that GORGEOUS hair up in a ponytail when doing work or whenever she has an idea

everyone on the team, regardless of sexuality, is low-key in love with her because she’s just so nice. no one can hate her. she's way too solid of a friend

speakinG of being a great friend: natia is 100% the secret keeper up in this bitch. everyone comes to her because they know she’s got the best advice around and will take their secrets to the grave

akio: idk man... alvaro is just rlly cute, u know?? but i can't tell him...

natia, thinking of alvaro literally whining to her about akio not even five minutes ago: christ

the mom friend. she always has all the things everyone needs on hand or in her lion, and she’s got it all going in terms of chore charts and family meals. she is the queen of figuring out times for team bonding and everyone loves her more for it

definitely started a board game night asap

she has a silent bravery about her that no one else can match. despite her trepidation, natia will always do what has to be done for the greater good. 

she is guided by her heart and her morals, and is easily the kindest person on the team

bc of this kindness, she is often the diplomat when conflicts arise between people on the team

she is seen by the general public (aka the galaxy) as a strong, morally righteous woman. kind of like rosie the riveter-esque??? she’s the symbol of justice and fairness. 

aliens: she's so... peacekeeping :0

natia, at kiki: throw me that wrench, or so help me god - 

basically, a queen who always considers everyone and works really hard to create a family, even when they're all so far from home :’)

Kiki Evans

generally over it tbh

“always tired, but always inspired” - kiki, on being asked why there were dark circles under her eyes

kind of standoffish. she’s not really about being nice, she's about getting the job done, and that can rub people the wrong way, since she is always the first to offer up the cold, logical solution

but underneath that, she’s just a computer science nerd who is loyal to a fault

she really is loyal. its almost dangerous sometimes, because she would put the universe in danger to save her friends, which actually comes into conflict with her typical cold, logical approach.

she has 0-1 sibling. she's every bit the single child. she cannot relate to living in a big family setting, and at first its hard for her to deal with before she warms up to everyone else on the team

she's a genius, and thus found school to be tedious. in fact, she got fairly bad grades, as she wouldn't do the work that she saw as pointless and boring

she is a meme connoisseur, and loves to quote vines, often assisted by alvaro

kiki, as they approach a giant black hole: HZZK

alvaro, catching on immediately: is... is that real???

she is a conspiracy theorist, for sure. the government is watching us all, trying to make sure we don't learn too much.... she’s sure of it, and akio is too

tbh, the first proper conversation she had with akio was about cryptids and how the government had hidden them from the public

she was friends w natia and alvaro from before, but it is akio she becomes closest with the fastest. in some ways, she feels more distant from natia/alvaro bc of how close they are with each other and  bc all of them have known each other for so long while akio is someone she got to know recently: he has no preconceptions about who she used to be, and she has none about him

plus, she and akio relate on many levels: both trans, both gay, both autistic, both theorists, and both loyal to a fault. she finds a real blood brother in akio :D

very openly gay. very. she's a space lesbian, and theres no denying it

kiki, meeting some random space girl: oh

kiki, moments later to akio: god I'm gay

akio, downing a glass of water but acting like its vodka or smthg: god, same

the public sees her as the cold and calculating techie, the brains of the operation

natia is her partner in crime. they finish each others sentences. they've got a tech connection going, babey

kiki: if we just cross-reference the zaiforge tunnel with the -

natia, nodding: particle consummator, of course we’ll get the perfect -

them, together: amount of energy!!!

everyone else: sorry wot

basically, she's a tech goddess with a splash of genius. she's uneasy and a bit awkward, but thats just bc she’s never been in a situation like this before. after literally 1 second with her, she opens up and is such a loyal friend. :’)

Akio Himura

wow this boy is gay and he knows it

he loves his parents (zahi, takashi, and ashanti) but god he will never admit it. not ever

alvaro, after listing his parents, 20 aunts and 100 cousins: and i love them all so much, with all my heart. what about ur family akio?

akio, not wanting to show weakness: they're nerds.

alvaro: um okay cool good talk haha :)

akio, internally: but i love them nd would die for them tbh... but i can't show weakness

he's so guarded after his biological parents left/died/disappeared. poor boy

definitely a single child, and definitely adopted

his parents love him SO MUCH. so much.

akio: why do i have three parents, dad?

takashi, almost crying: its simple. u deserve so much love, that it couldn't be contained in just two people. we needed three. its how its gotta be, my beautiful, sweet summer child

a yeehaw kind of guy. he grew up in the midwest riding horses before his biological parents died and theres a piece of him that will always be a southern boy

the kind of kid in school that pretends he’s a delinquent, but actually just has the aesthetic of a delinquent, and is truly soft

akio: hell yeah I'm a rebel. i logged onto disney.com without my parents permission

kiki, choked up: so brave

mothman is his love. his passion. all cryptids, for that matter. kiki is more of an all around conspiracy theorist: akio is in it for the cryptids 

he’s a bit awkward, and doesn’t totally understand all social cues/jokes. because of this, he stays away from memes, and is very guarded when meeting new people, especially after experiences with light bullying for not only his social ineptitude, but his upbringing.

considering that, his first meeting with alvaro was supremely awkward, and akio accidentally fought with him multiple times before they established a solid friendship

akio, having a gay panic: you are the light of my life

alvaro: sorry what??

akio, panicking more: I said, you wanna fiGHT WITH A KNIFE???

he pined after alvaro from basically day one, but had the foresight to actually know that he was pining, unlike alvaro who just floundered

of course he would never say anything

he is a stabby boi. he is unrivaled in swordplay, and enjoys routine. his natural affinity for picking up new skills plus his unrivaled work ethic basically DESTROYED everyone else when it came to swords

he’s loyal af and is always the first one to take action. akio is a “do something. do anything, but do it fast before we lose a chance to do something” kind of guy

the general public sees him as the fiery one: he’s the one with the fanciest footwork in a fight, and he’s very good with battle tactics. he can come thru with that strategy at the perfect times

he's a low-key emo. for sure. he loves MCR, but strangely dislikes other similar artists like p!atd and fob. 

kiki: but...brendon urie, akio....

akio, sipping tea: as a gay, i can appreciate the aesthetic. but no one can compete with MCR

kiki, exasperated: its not a competition -

basically, a slightly guarded boy with a real talent for defending the universe and his friends, but also an emo cowboy mess who is in love with alvaro and loves everyone :’)

WELL THAT ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I HOPE U ENJOY AAAA

ALSO FOLLOW @voltronuniversaldefender !!!! its amazing, guys, really check it out :D

[semisweet1992-blog]

The Wide Spectrum of Femininity and Gender

While most people are closely tied to a very rigid, binary outlook of viewing gender this is hardly the true reality of how humans express themselves with gender. The range it can go is not a simple thing to measure, as emotions are not a logical thing to be put on a 1-10 scale. The ways in which we act out and preform our gender is entirely of our own creation, the way in which we feel comfortable moving and living in our own skin. Though, this view of owning the agency of our own gender is by in large viewed as should be in the binary of man and woman based on biological and social dictations, we need to open the eyes and gates of our society to allow freedom in how we enact our gender.

Samaria Budd

Interviewing people that identify as non-binary and gender fluid. I will not identify the individuals by name, but rather refer to them by their pronouns they gave me.

Individual #1, identities as non-binary: they/them/their

Individual #2 identities as gender fluid: he/his/him or zhe/zir/zhim (I am choosing to refer to the individual within the blog as him because at the time this was the pronoun that him currently choose to use that day)

My first question that I asked is what them/he considered their gender to be and why they felt the need to go against the binary? The response that individual two gave me was he wanted to feel male or masculine because of the dominance that is associated with male masculinity. Even with his body being feminine, he doesn’t want to be seen as feminine and waking up to a feminine body makes him angry, even being called feminine upset him. This leading him to choose a gender-neutral name that allows him to be seen as male or gender-fluid.

The next question I was asked because the previous conversation had made it seem like femininity was seen as a negative thing. I do want to note here that this is entirely based off my assumption and not what the individuals actually stated to me. I asked why do they/he see femininity as weakness and why does masculinity relate to strength even though both individuals have feminine bodies? Individual two explained the examples of boobs, although boobs are pretty to look at it is a giant inconvenience. He continued to explain that he didn’t even want breasts further explaining by the unfairness that women or people with feminine bodies have to purchase expensive bras and waste their money on other expensive things. Individual one told me that they are seen by other people as a woman because of their body. They bind and wear loose clothing to hide their breasts or hips from people who would assume their gender. They don’t want to be seen as a woman, just as themselves, calling their gender as a “weebly, wobbly, gendered something”.

I asked both individuals if it was accurate that they/he both wanted to just be seen as a person and both responded with an enthusiastic, “yes”. I inquired where they/him believed gender-fluidity and non-binary can from? Did it come from not wanting to be sexualize, objectified or categorized that would therefore place limits on their existence? Individual one told me they are okay with showing their body when they are with the right people, like close friends that see them as a person rather than a feminine body existing within the gender binary. Individual two cuts his hair in an androgynous style and changed his name to an androgynous name in order to feel more comfortable. He explains to me that he has feminine moments, but those only last for a few seconds or minutes. Indvidual one finished the question with telling me that genitals shouldn’t decide your personality and gendered roles are wrong. I asked individual one how they feel about drag, since it is a play on the binary does it discredit gender-fluid or non-binary genders? They explained to me that drag is a play, a person doing drag can be transgender and it doesn’t take anything away from that person’s gender identity.

I also wanted to ask what are the biggest challenges of existing out the binary. Individual one responded that it is often tiring. If someone purposely doesn’t want to use the correct pronoun even after them ask given the correct pronoun to use. Gendered language is also a huge challenge, English is not such a huge deal because it isn’t as gendered as other languages, an example being German, that doesn’t allow for other pronouns to be used, because even the pronouns and nouns have to be gendered with the binary. Them also talked about the dysphoria they experience from other people that make them feel invalid in their ‘non-binary-ness’.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Colby Keller

Jade Stone-LaFontayne: identifies as a trans-woman and female-impersonator

Priscilla Divine: identifies as a cis-gender male and preforms drag

Jade Stone-LaFontayne: My first question was When did you first hear of drag and what was your first impression of it.

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

One of my moms best friends was a gay male. Who did drag on and off for years and he dressed up for my moms birthday party  one year when I was in about 6th grade. I was in awe. Like what is this big beautiful woman!?

Colby Keller:

Did he explain drag to you at that time?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Well it was kind of unspoken he didn’t have too. Mom said “that’s chris, chasity is chris” and I just got it..

Colby Keller:

So when was the first time you did drag?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

My freshman year of high school.

Colby Keller:

What was the circumstance?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

“Powderpuff” at my high school the girls would play football and the boys would dress as women, whatever boy raised the most donation money won princess(freshman/sophomore) and queen (junior/senior) I won powder puff princess then went on to win powder puff queen my senior year..

Colby Keller:

Do you cite that as your start as a budding queen?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Yes. It was amazing feeling.

Colby Keller:

Explain that feeling to me, what made you want to peruse it?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

The fact that i was so comfortable and it was the piece to the puzzle that made me feel like I fit in instead of being left out.. I felt like myself so it was my outlet.. the only time I could be myself but have an “excuse” to be.

Colby Keller:

Why did it make you feel like you fit in?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Because I later become to realize I was trans. And it wasn’t a phase. So the feeling of fitting in was just being comfortable in my own skin.

Colby Keller:

So what would you label yourself

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

A queen, female impersonator, trans woman. I’m a trans woman. Who happens to be a drag queen.

Colby Keller:

So I wanna know about your thoughts on gender. How do you construct your womanhood? What do you think it means to be a woman?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

I’m not a “woman” nor can I ever be. I’m a trans woman. I don’t want people to see me and be like she’s a woman(which yes it feels good) but I wanna be the part of trans community who makes it okay to say.. “oh she’s a trans woman” we are our own gender. And there is so many more.

Colby Keller:

So you don’t want to hold to the stereotype of what women are usually seen as?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Yes. Because I don’t want women to think trans women are representing them wrong. Because just as us trans women are, women have fought hard for their rights which is part of my inspiration.

Colby Keller:

So what have you based your sense of femininity upon? Do you have any idols or inspiration?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Firstly taking care of yourself. The 20’s when women started to wear what they want. Makeup, hair, nails. I’m still very traditional, a woman cooks for their man, cleans, does laundry. Is pretty to go to the mailbox. That’s femininity to me speaking as a future wife and my goals sense. I look up to Michelle Obama. Lavern Cox. P!nk. And even Madea. There’s so many more. They all have a message from a different standpoint. And they are all important to biological and trans women.

Colby Keller:

What do you think are the main aspects of your look and how you present yourself as a woman?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

What I’m comfortable in. If you own it, your comfortable, people will feel that. And own it with you. I have so many different looks. And I don’t want to be known for a certain “look” or hair style. I just wanna be comfortable.

Colby Keller:

Does your more traditional view on gender roles conflict in The LGBTQ community in your mind?

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

No. Because that’s my personal future goals or plans. Everyone else’s is different. I mean I’m sure there’s people who would disagree. That’s just my opinion. That’s the beauty of the lgbtq+ community we are all so diverse and live such different lives. Regardless of how others see us.

Colby Keller:

So would you agree that in just that option we have to live that life is good enough if we want it to be our life

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

I don’t understand the question..

Colby Keller:

If you can life that traditional life and that’s what you want that’s awesome you can now live it. Being a part of the LGBTQ community that was so long excluded from it.

Jade Stone-LaFontayne:

Well now we have the luxury of living the traditional life but at the same time be able to step out of that.. like gay couples bringing their adopted kids to pride celebrations.. gay couples or “trans couple”(man and trans woman or vice versa) being able to still have a family and do drag, run for pageants, etc, we still have goals and can achieve them. Still living a traditional lifestyle

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 Priscilla Divine: The first question I asked to gain her understanding about gender was when was your first exsposure to drag.

Priscilla Divine:

In jr high school I saw the movie Priscilla queen of the desert on vh1, I didn’t know exactly what is was but that was my first time seeing anything like that. At 16 I got a fake Id and started going to the stonewall in Huntington where I met and befriended lots of the queens there. I would have been 11 when I saw that movie

Colby Keller:

What did it make you feel like?

Priscilla Divine:

Like I want such a weirdo o

Colby Keller:

Why did you feel that way

Priscilla Divine:

Growing up in wv you always feel like the odd ball, I like to always be the center of attention. And I found that via drag. It helped me express myself and sure filled in voids where I wasn’t so masculine, I wasn’t into sports or cars etc

Colby Keller:

What got you to break into drag?

Priscilla Divine:

Like I said I befriended many queens I spent most of my time in the dressing room helping them get ready. And one night they were like why are you not doing this too. And I was like ohhh I can’t I wouldn’t be good, which was met with makeup brushes and wigs flying, ronica reed tami whynot Martina desarea’ and heather Monroe got me together and shoved me out on stage. My original drag name was Priscilla hunt… And I was hooked. I always had fem facial features so it wasn’t a huge jump haha’ There at the stonewall I developed my love for all things extravagant, huge hair feathers rhinestones etc, I’m glad I stated drag back then, when bars where the only place for people like us to go. Queens are like gays version of celebrities. I have been very lucky that people all over wv have grown to love me as an entertainer. And other states also.

Colby Keller:

So as a queen what are your inspirations and idols?

Priscilla Divine:

Chelsea pearl Mimi marks Taj Mahal Victoria lePaige chili pepper, Michelle st james Martina desarea, roxxxy Andrews cezanne dee ranged Carmella Marcella Garcia regine Phillips. I could go on and on

Colby Keller:

Just for yourself could you name just one?

Priscilla Divine:

Being able to bring some of the nations top queens into Sw gave me time to spend with so many of them who influenced me. Sorry I miss read that.

Colby Keller:

It’s fine I know those queens and they work it lol

Priscilla Divine:

What inspires me to do drag?

Colby Keller:

Yes.

Priscilla Divine:

Honestly the crowd, My job is to make them feel something. To be a story teller as odd as that may sound. Music is how we express our emotions. I want them to feel something when they see me. Joy sadness happiness, doing a song that reminds them of good times and bad it’s all part of it. I like to make eye contact with people during me show, being them into it. Make them smile , let them know they mean something for that moment. Obviously they mean something all the time. But at that moment it’s just me and them. Life isn’t percent, I have to put on a smile and try to do the same for all of them.

Colby Keller:

So as a man impersonating a woman what are your thoughts on femininity and womanhood?

Priscilla Divine:

You are what you are.

Colby Keller:

Explain.

Priscilla Divine:

Well…As a queen I have 100% ability to transition myself into a woman. I need to fit that part. Walk in heels good have good skin nails hair. It’s almost taken to the extreme, always keeping in mind that people are watching what I do. I was raised by several strong women in my life. So I have lots of respect and admiration for all women. I’m a true feminist. I don’t do drag to take Anything away from real women. More to celebrate them. My mom has huge boobs, So do I. She loves jewelry, and so do I. My aunt always wore the finest clothes and big 80’s hair and well again so do I! I’d like to think I am the best of all parts of the people who raised me. They all had something to do with who I am. Both as jerry and Priscilla.

[styrac0saurus]

WHILE I AM HERE IN BETWEEN CLASSES

here are my headcanons for some of my fave dark souls charas (mostly ds1 because i have... only played that game...)

people can have different thoughts ofc and my headcanons are all random and such as an attempt to think about more diverse charas and worldbuilding in lordran in general but i might change these headcanons as i continue wordlbuilding and be like ‘hmm this isn’t really fitting anymore’

race honestly doesn’t seem to be all that big a deal in the soulsborne games, which i’m glad about, but i want to practice drawing different faces and body types and it’s easiest to have more specific google terms in mind for finding references

NPCS YOU CAN TALK TO

laurentius - i am honestly not sure yet but i at least imagine him as brown (his skintone certainly looks tanner than most other npcs in this first game anyway) and indigenous, though whether native american or something like one of the indigenous ethnic groups in mid-south america i don’t know, he is also soft and hairy and very tender bi guy like solaire but without the confidence

rickert - south asian/indian like miriam but lighter skinned and a very snarky gay

griggs - can’t think of him being sexually attracted to anyone but he is a sweetheart easily flustered by equally sweet dudes, gals, and nonbinary pals, perhaps the only other npc i can see being white or mixed white besides solaire, dusk, and the sieg family

quelana - lost izalith’s architecture is inspired by cambodian temples apparently so... she’s cambodian now and ofc a hot flaming lesbian, even if she’s bit of a twig because extreme guilt and depression from abandoning her mother and sisters

sirris - also a lesbian, but i had a sudden hc about her being like...? a bedouin woman with either a turban or a headscarf because her headgear kind of made me think so and also silver and teal colors looks awesome against tanned brown skin

bronze knightess - like lautrec, she is a white-passing iranian, she is also a (sword) lesbian, might be built like hotpants from jojo’s bizarre adventure

NPCS YOU CAN’T TALK TO

nameless king - i’ve already talked about this, he is mixed white/japanese and down to clown with anyone if they’re in for a good time

ornstein - black, more specifically north african/moroccan, and fiercely gay like the proud lion he is

artorias - chico lobo is a mexican furry who is tentatively bi, has really only had experiences with girls otherwise

ciarian - a badass balinese bitch, as inspired by seeing that ancient balinese dagger that looked similar to her silver tracer, who is also bi

hawkeye gough - gruff turkish uncle who... i mean i don’t know he can potentially have a tender loving giant husband or a tender loving giant wife and he would cherish them both

FOREST HUNTER COVENANT (get their own category because i want to build upon Antares’s forest gremlin family and also this is blatantly copied from my post on the rp bloge)

Shiva - From the Far East, Dark Souls Equivalent (henceforth abbreviated as DSE) of mixed Japanese/Indian, he’s so gay man he really loves his ninja boyfriend

Seijuro the ninja - From the Far East, DSE of Japanese, also gay and dearly loves his boyfriend

Pharis the archer - From the Fivefinger Delta, DSE of Rromani, trans woman in love with a beautiful knightess

Alastrine the knightess - From Astora, DSE of Italian, so gay and in love with her archer gf

Jarle the barbarian warrior - From the Far East though not quite as far as Shiva, Seijuro, and Antares, originally part of a nomad band of warriors, DSE of Central Asian steppe people, not really romatically/sexually interested in anyone

Elijah the cleric - From Catarina originally, studied in Thorolund, DSE of mixed Moroccan/Spanish, trans man who is asexual

Yiskah the thief - From the Great Swamp, DSE of Ashkenazi Jewish person, non-binary and aromantic

Bernard the knight - From the Fivefinger Delta, moved to Thorolund - DSE of Irish, he is bisexual and very soft

Ebrahim the sorcerer - From Carim, studied in Vinheim, DSE of Iranian/Persian, i had originally joked about him being an annoying cishet man because his soul arrow spamming ass was ridiculous but i can see him actually being that without being an asshole

[realcaptainjim]

Random blah

How do you just open up randomly to the masses or groups without coming off stupid or trite or anything other than "fuck I just wanna say something"?

It's difficult.

But, with all media and all friends and everyone in my life I am perceived as just one section. Granted, I did that shit to myself. Hahaha I mean... I've kept myself guarded for years and so few people really know me. In fact those that know me only know parts.

I guess I just want to breathe and admit all of who I am for the hope that people can just see it once.

What is the most prominent part of me? Without saying I am this BUT... I'm also that?

Well let's start either way with the most rewarding part of me and trickle down.

I'm a parent of two. Well, I am a father of two. Which I guess is shocking given a lot of my re-blogs. But, I am.

I am a father of two beautiful miniature people who honestly don't know that I have a kink side. Honestly though, how many of us parents would want our kids to know that? Not really out of embarrassment, but quite frankly out of the fact that children can't fathom and shouldn't fathom that part of us.

So, I am a Dad... A male to female transitioning dad. They decided that I will keep that title and I will always say it with gross pride! Even though I giggle when introduced as "This is my dad, HER name is Jem."

Some people gasp or grow confused, others simply smile and continue normally. For me, it's just awesome how supportive my kids are of this path that I hid for so long.

And... That leads to where I began transitioning... It was the day after Trump was elected. My kids were scared. They are of mixed ethnicity and had been facing new adversity because of that... It still rings loud in my ears when my youngest said... "It's not fair, we can't hide who we are, but you can."

At that moment it was put up or shut up time. I couldn't hide myself any longer... They had known for a while and had accepted me... It was time I accepted myself and made sure to set an example in a scary world.

So... I am a trans-parent... Who stilllll loves women! That's the other thing that confuses so many. I am on the road to being a woman... But, still prefer and adore pussy to dick. After all "if I don't want mine, why the hell would I want yours in me." That's how I explain it to guys.

Sorry, but I find the male form repulsive. But, that's just from my personal Dogma. Men can be beautiful inside and out! And there's so many cute gay, straight, and transitioning men out there! I just find the penis to be... Ewwwy!

So... I'm a trans-parent... lesbian. That's how I define it... Who loves bondage! As an art, as a part of intimacy, as a form of sharing with friends... Now to what degree do I assign each part of that? Oh dear. Haha. I'm on the fence about collaring a mate or having a mate and collaring a sub... Or having a mate and US collaring a sub or a mutual mate.

More so... I think it's ok to tie up a friend and watch Netflix and giggle together... As much as I think it's awesome to have a mate tied for sex or to just chill.

Wait... Brought up sex. So I'm transitioning... And I like girls... How... Do... I...? I've said for years that I view the thing as "a permanent meat strap on." For that view, it's made coping easier and relationships with bi or lesbian women work...

Buuuut, I'm transitioning... So it's not permanent, right? Welllll... That's an expensive surgery... And financially I have those two amazing miniatures as my top priority... So, that comes down the road. "Then you're just a transvestite" the TLGBQP community tells me. Um.... Sorry, I define me, thank you very much!!!!!

So... That gender dysphoria and being trans is why most think I am a bondage/fetish/kink person. Pfffft. No... Actually, psychologically it can be tied to severe separation anxiety.

I grew up with a bi-polar/skitz mother and a father who wanted to ignore that, so he made sure to be at work constantly and leave me with the emotional, verbal, and physically abusive woman.

Ok ok ok... So a childhood of abuse... That's why I am trans. Noooooooooope.

Actually... I was born a little boy and a little girl... Spent a chunk of my childhood in hospitals having "reconstructive" surgeries... Because "we had a boy and we have to fix this."

Talk about combo pain!

Buuuut, dad wasn't around and mom was always in a psychiatric treatment ward... So... How did you---

My Aunt pretty much raised me. Granted I spent a lot of time bouncing around family member to family member as a child... But, my aunt-- my mom's sister-- was the one at the appointments... The one scheduling surgeries in between having my mom committed or pulling her off of trying to kill dad or swooping in to make sure mom didn't beat me too hard on my birthdays.

Ok ok ok... So that's fucked up. That's why you're into bond--

When I was fifteen my aunt died of cancer. My mother was sane enough through that year to take care of her... And when she couldn't, I did.

Long story short... I didn't get to say goodbye or express my love the last chance I had to my aunt... I was exhausted and couldn't quite understand it all and through a tantrum the last time I could have said anything.

So I stood powerlessly listening to the flat line feeling the warmth leave her hand. Frozen. Pushed aside by her "loving" husband to check-- I stood there as people came and went for hours. My cousin had to pick me up like a baby so I could move.

It's like all emotion but anger left me that day.

Years later I met my ex-wife. Our first date... Stupid old movie. AI... The scene where the robots mom closed her eyes for the last time... I lost it. I cried for what seemed like forever.

We confused our understanding of pain in each other that day for love. It was love. The love friends share... But we... We didn't know better.

We had met online (both teens) in the era of AOL chatboards. I was writing out a suicide note... It was to be my last try (10th) and I was going to go see my aunt. But, that stubborn bitch began messaging me.

She had thought I was a full on woman by the time we went on our first date.

Surprise!

So the beautiful dyke lesbian and the trans dated and got married. Somewhere in between she introduced sex and fetish to me. What a release! My first collared woman. And for that experience and being married and having kids and juggling it all together... I'll be forever grateful.

But... We fell apart.

She had needs I couldn't always fulfill. So I wanted her, my wife, to feel fulfilled. We swing (if that's the term), shared women... So on. But the more life set in, the more it was noticeable that our love was... Not what we thought.

I left her. I wanted her happy. I knew she had fallen for this one guy... I knew that he was hers. I broke it off in the worst of ways.

Anger. For years. Resentment.... 10 years she's been with him. I've never found a mate to accept me... All of me. Damned if I didn't try though.

She's stayed faithful and with him for 10 years while I dated and slept around looking for... Idk what exactly other than acceptance and comfort and a "team."

So... I'm a trans-parent divorcee who loves pussy and bondage and can't find a woman patient enough to take all of that in. Haha.

BUT... I'm also a writer... A crochet junky... An emotional empath due to a weird ass experience from my youth... I'm also a pagan/Hindi/ Catholic (don't you dare tell me that I can't combine and proudly say that), I am a hospitality/F&B career person, I am an outdoors enthusiast... I'm an introvert who is a great actress at being outgoing for my career... I'm a damned loyal yet extremely perverse and sexual friend... So few accept that.

I'm a lot... And there is so much more to my story. But I already feel I am boring whoever the fuck reads this... I am a giant "oxymoron" as one of my dearest friends says about herself.

I make so many people uncomfortable and I am completely unconventional.

I've been homeless and forgotten...

I've had a big ass home...

I used to be a player and still consider myself a slut...

I've fought alcoholism, but refuse AA and still occasionally drink!

I have soooo many crushes... A handful of ones that "got away..." A woman I'd marry in a heartbeat... Several women I want to have sex with just to know what it's like but only see them as friends and think the experience would just strengthen our friendship... 2 women that I just want to cuddle with because they are soooo cuddly, but that's all I'd like to experience... And I have a group of women who everyday have set an example of what it means TO BE a woman! And so far... 1 woman who has shown me that there's a way to juggle all aspects as long as you do it looking good :-)

I'm a lot. People view so many sides...

I just had to get it off my chest as yet another person in my life has had cancer appear and used it as a means to admonish all parts of me.