#Task9

[multi-stays]

Task No:9

Chan and Changbin are recruiting more members for their house and want YOU!!

Note: I thought adding their signatures was a nice touch.

[marlsbuck]

twist & shout! | marley & sawyer’s pride booth.

a new spin on an old classic - marley and sawyer have created a giant game of twister. pride goers will be competing for gifts donated by local, lgbtq+ owned/friendly shops and are highly encouraged to check them all out post-pride. even if you don’t win, be sure to stick around until the last round of the day - it’s bound to get messy! marley didn’t mix food coloring and shaving cream all day for nothing!! so come! get a little messy, love your neighbor - or at least get a little tangled up in them!

all proceeds will be donated to the center on halstead to provide lgbtq+ youth a safe place. 

ft. @sawyer-dawson

[janneth-alegre]

En la novena misión tuvimos que realizar 2 versiones de la técnica de integración de caja en el cuerpo del corpiño. Aquí el resultado final de la versión 2. Mission 9 - Task 9 / Versión 2 Box integration techniques - Version 2 by Janneth Alegre ❤️✏️📐📍✂️✂️ #trcutting #shingosato #TRboxintegration #trGoldMasterChampionship2022 #task9 #trcutting #mission9 #jannethalegre #reto9 #90DaysChallenge https://www.instagram.com/p/CgRoPM2u-uS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[nicolamarchette]

Task 9 Muse Survey

1. Who does your muse consider their best friend? What’s the story?

Nicola has a few people that she would consider a best friend. She doesn’t let too many people get close to her but when she does it’s something special.

First and foremost is Gabe. They haven’t known each other for their whole lives but it feels like they do. They met at her gallery and it was one of those it’s you that I’ve been waiting for moments that forever change your life. He’s her person and the one person that knows her better than anyone else. He was the first person that she let get close to her and she has never looked back since.

She does have a best friend that she grew up with. This friend was also the reason Nicola got into so much trouble when they were younger. They were known as Double Trouble and they are still close but there is a lot that Nicola hasn’t told to her yet.

Ryan is also someone that she would consider a best friend. When they met it was something that Nicola had never felt before and they risked everything to be together. She could tell him anything at one point in their life and they were engaged at one point but after the death of their daughter Sarah a lot of things changed and Nicola started to push him away even though he was the person that she needed. He still means a lot of Nicola even though she can be stubborn about it. They always seem to find their way back to each other in some form.

2. Who does your muse consider their worst enemy? What’s the story?

Now this one….would be her father Nikolai. Nikolai is her biological father and he never really treated Nicola like he was his. He tried to control her life which only made her rebel. She holds a grudge against her dad and she’s not willing to let go of it. He’s the reason why she doesn’t have her daughter Sarah anymore and she’s not one bit afraid to let him no. He gets under her skin and knows what buttons to push and she will push back. All she had ever wanted was to know that she loved her and she had never gotten that. She doesn’t want anything to do with him and part of her is like well there has got to be a reason and maybe I need to hear him out. She’s pushed him away for so long so there’s no real father/daughter relationship.

3. What was the best time in your muse’s life? The best time in her life would be the day she found out she was pregnant with her daughter Waverly. Nicola never thought she would be a mother again and once she heard Waverly’s heartbeat it all changed for her.

4. What was the worst time in your muse’s life?

Jesus, this is a tough none. Losing her daughter Sarah is the worse thing she’s ever been through. It really sent her into a dark place where she pushed people away from her and she still does push people away to an extent. Losing her daughter was and is still the worse pain that she has ever felt in her life. Losing her mother was another loss that hit really big. Eryn Marchette is the only real mother figure that she has ever truly known and losing her on top of losing her daughter Sarah really shook Nicola.

5. What were/are your muse’s parents like?

Eryn who Nicola considers to be the only mother she has treated Nicola the way a parent should treat their daughter. Eryn and Nicola were extremely close with one another. Eryn supported Nicola in everything she did and she’s the reason that Nicola loves art.

Nikolai is another story. Even though Nicola is his biological daughter he chose to keep his distance from her. He didn’t treat her the way that a father should treat his daughter and he is one of the reasons why Sarah was murdered and Nicola still blames him. His is currently in prison and makes attempts to contact Nicola who wants nothing to do with him. She wants to keep Waverly safe so she does her best to try to keep Nikolai from knowing that he has another grandchild.

Nansi is Nicola’s biological mother. She gave Nicola up when she was a baby. She didn’t want the responsibility of being a parent and she had her own addictions. She reached out to Nicola and Nicola tried to have a relationship with her but there was no connection. Nansi just wanted money and even stole a necklace that Eryn had given to Nicola.

6. What motivates your muse the most?

She is motivated by her family first and foremost. She would do anything to keep those she considers family safe. She would do anything for those that she loves. She is inspired by art and music. She sees the beauty in things, sometimes the things that nobody sees.

7. Since you started writing your muse, in what ways have they grown?

When I first began writing Nicola was created while I was substitute teaching in a class that I am not very good at teaching. It was a simple idea that started as a way for me to keep writing. She was so guarded at first and didn’t want to let people in because of things that had happened to her in the past. She’s definitely a fighter and she’s allowed certain people to get close to her and be a part of her life, her family. She’s not as guarded but she still has walls up around her heart that nobody has really been able to knock down. When I’m writing her she has control and I never really full know what way she’s going to lead and I love that. I mean I get inspired by a lot of things, some things work and some things don’t. Sometimes all it takes is a song, a quote, an image or a movie. I kind of have a little something in mind for a Drabble so we will see.

8. How would you like your muse to grow in the future?

I really would love for her to confront her father and her biological mother. There is a lot of anger and pain there and it’s a big part of why she feels the need to run and why she has trust issues. There is a lot of things that she needs to get off her chest and it’s going to be explosive once she does.

9. Is there anything you want to do with your muse that you haven’t yet?

There is a lot. Sometimes it feels like I have a never ending list of things that I would want to try. She hasn’t been to Eryn’s grave since the funeral and maybe visiting her old family home which holds a lot of memories both good and bad. Maybe some romance…whether it be with the father of her daughters or someone new I’d like to see her open herself to the possibility that someone will love her and accept her for who she is and that someone will love her daughter. I have been toying around with some ideas of when she took off after her daughter Sarah died and Eryn was killed…so there’s some room to play. There are things that she really needs to say and when she lets loose it’s could be dangerous.

10. What or who is your muse’s weakness?

In a literal sense cinnamon and chocolate which sucks. She has found alternatives to the chocolate. Her daughter would be one way that she could be hurt. Deep down she has that fear that something could take Waverly away from her and that scares her more than anything. If anything were to happen to anyone that she considers to be family it would cut her deeper than anything. She has a fear of losing people that are close to her.

11. What or who is your muse’s greatest strength?

She is a fighter for sure. She’s a warrior and survivor. She’s been through so much and she’s pushes through and has come out on the other side. She’s very resilient and I admire that about her. She’s not afraid to get her hands dirty if she has to.

12. Would your muse fit into a crossover you haven’t tried yet? Which one?

Oh Jesus ohhhh the ideas that have been in my head. I’ve never really done a crossover thing though it has crossed my mind. I love MARVEL and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a few other shows and movies so I may or may not have something in mind that I want to try so we will see.

13. Does your muse think they are morally right in how they live their life? As the author, do you think your muse is morally right?

Nicola does what she feels is right. She wants to protect her daughter in ways that she couldn’t with Sarah and she would die trying if she had to. She may do things that someone may consider wrong but she’s human just like we all are. As the writer behind Nicola I see her as human. We all do things that we need to in order to protect the people that we love. Life isn’t always full of rainbows and good times there’s the bad and the in between and it’s nice sometimes to trot that line between what is right and wrong because it’s something that we all struggle with.

14. Does your muse focus more on the present, the past, or the future? How so and/or why?

Nicola tries not to focus on the past. The past is the source of her nightmares and she has to live with it. She lives with the fact that she had a daughter that will never grow up and experience life the way that her sister will. She focuses on the present and the time she gets to spend with Waverly and getting to be a mom. She does think about the future and what it holds. The past does creep back in on her especially when there are articles written about her father and the death of Sarah and her mom Eryn.

15. Are you proud of your muse? Why?

Yes I am. Nicola is still very much a work in progress which I love. I love being able to discover new things about her and explore options that I may have never thought of. She is my favorite and I am so incredibly grateful to write for her and for her to have a place where she has this family. If I hadn’t been encouraged to join a group Nicola probably wouldn’t exist and I am so thankful that she does. I love being able to write for her, to give her a voice and to be able to grow as a writer and write with amazingly talented writers. Nicola is a part of me and I love every single minute.

[kvb117-caroline2020]

Final gif. Blast off!

[portiarook]

Task 9

Just when I thought I was running out of creativity I make this. Don't want to toot my own horn as they say but I am all for self praise and I love this. I was asked to make something horror related which was uncomfortable and honestly that description is so far out of my comfort zone. So I decided to draw on things which make me scared, specifically things like teeth in places they shouldn’t be. Again I would spend more time on it if it weren’t just a weekly task but the extra effort of editing the text to fit a bottle shape was definitely a good decision.

[softheartedpoet]

to be the ocean of a black-eyed sunlit moon: exfoliate the roughness of your lips with saltwater-soaked sand. rub seashells between your toes to remember what it feels like to be felt in places untouched. braid seaweed into your hair, let it revitalize cracked palms. fossils have formed in your chest since you last gave into the pull of the tide, letting it fill its foothold in you. believe you are as fabled, a myth of epic eons standing— wondrous and fearsome. appraised only to those chosen to bring light into your darkest depths. when you feel threatened by the tide, look into the black-eyed craters of the face of your midnight moon and remember: you are the complete mythology of yourself — give into the sea and never return to the dryness of desert sand, scorched and unloved.

[haleyface]

TASK 009 →

Haley’s been tested for ADHD three times, but every time, it was felt she didn’t have it. 

She loves succulents and has them all over her bedroom. Of course she names them; the one on her nightstand right now is Marty McFlyTrap

She’s seen the third season of Digimon at least eight times. She could write an entire dissertation on its emotional impact and implications of childhood trauma, if only she had that kind of patience and knew what a dissertation is.

Her favorite Studio Ghibli movie (and movie in general) is Howl’s Moving Castle.

Her sun sign is in Virgo, her rising is in Capricorn, and her moon is in Cancer. (Born 09.17.95 @ 4:37pm)

Haley is surprisingly organized. The only thing that’s really a mess is her though content, but her actual living space is very neat and somewhat minimalistic. She doesn’t do well if she’s surrounded by clutter.

She loves things with her name written on them.

She makes sure people know it’s Haley. Not Hailey, not Hayley, not Haileigh. Haley.

Her favorite dessert is strawberry shortcakes.

She thought she had a cat once. The first day she moved into her apartment right after moving to New York, there was a cute fat orange cat roaming around her apartment. She assumed it was a house warming gift and the cat came and went through her fire escape as it pleased for months. It wasn’t until she was getting ready to move out that she learned it was actually the landlady’s cat who frequently snuck out. She also learned the cat was named Tater Tot, which sort of fit since Haley had taken to calling him Hashbrown.

Because she’s a gymnast and mostly competed with people who were averaging at 5’0” for years, Haley is super insecure about her height.

She’s a Connect Four champion.

Jemma convinced Haley she was adopted for a solid two weeks when they were kids.

When she found out Fruits Basket was being rebooted, she cried.

Haley was almost arrested when she was 17 because some local kids had started a fight club behind the local Walgreen’s. The cops came to break it up and haul all of them off to jail. All Haley wanted was to buy some skittles at 11pm, and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The only reason they didn’t arrest her was because she started crying.

She cries a lot.

Like…. a lot.

She sleeps with socks on.

She’s very bad at remembering her keys, so she had a bunch of spares made and keeps one in her purse, her wallet, her gym bag, and at Jemma’s apartment. She has not told Jemma that she has a spare key at Jemma’s apartment. Coincidentally, since moving out of her sister’s place months ago, she’s never lost that apartment key.

She went as Cinderella for Halloween five years in a row.

She doesn’t believe that Denmark is a country.

Haley doesn’t understand Snapchat.

[notthatharperlee]

TASK NINE - HEADCANONS 🧠

It’s no secret that Harper is a massive true crime fan. One thing she does not stand for is the glamorization of criminals. She’ll crack jokes or repeat all of the fascinating facts she knows but will immediately speak out the moment someone starts idolizing a criminal or talking bad about their victims.

Harper had a goth phase that lasted from 6th grade until her Junior year of high school. She still prefers darker colors and morbid accessories but knows that her personality is spooky enough to make up for it all.

Because of the home she grew up in, Harper has never had a pet of her own. This applies to Hunter’s place as well. They moved around enough that it was never practical. Harper dreams of hitting up the local shelter some day and finding the animal in most need of a home to adopt.

Harper grew up in a secular home and really has no base spiritually. The closest she gets to religion is dabbling in witchcraft and hunting for ghosts.

When she’s at home Harper wears socks constantly. This includes when she goes to bed.

Despite her rough childhood Harper hopes to have a family of her own someday. She could see herself having her own kids but is much more interested in doing foster care and helping kids in need.

Harper became fascinated by ghosts because of the movie Casper. Before her parents burned all of their bridges a family friend gifted them the movie and Harper watched it almost daily. That is, until it joined the grave of worn out VCR tapes.

One of her favorite family traditions is one she shares with Hunter. Every Saturday morning they would pour themselves a big bowl of cereal and watch cartoons. 

Some of her favorite animals include sharks, snakes, bats and alligators. Do they have a bad reputation? She probably loves them. 

She loathes microwaved food. 

At the end of a long day her favorite thing to do is throw on some pajamas and play video games. Assassin’s Creed is her favorite franchise. 

Harper carries at least two books on her at all times. She finds nothing more annoying than being out reading somewhere and finishing a book before she’s ready to go home. 

The sound and visual of someone creasing paper between their lips sends shudders down her spine.

Despite her name she’s never read To Kill a Mockingbird. 

Her dream date involves laser tag and kissing in dark corners. Oh, and shooting her paramour right after the fact.

Had she not gone into the field of education Harper would have attempted to follow her dream of becoming a storm chaser. 

Harper’s favorite color is blue. 

Harper is right-handed.

One of her nightly rituals is drawing her daily tarot card and reflecting on it’s meaning over a warm drink.

[theoreprise]

TASK 009 →

After Hamilton’s popularity burst onto the scene, a lot of people started assuming Theo was short for Theodosia. Now, if there’s one thing she hates more than being called Theodora by anyone other than her mom, it’s people calling her Theodosia.

Similarly, one of her favorite shows is Haunting of Hill House because it’s the only time she’s seen a tv character with her name who she enjoyed. 

Her favorite musical is Little Shop of Horrors. She watched the movie for the first time when she was five and then declared she wanted to change her name to Audrey. She also sang the Dentist song everywhere she went for a solid month.

Her sun sign is Cancer, her rising sign is in Aries, and her moon sign is also in Cancer (Born 07.03.91 @ 12:58am).

She doesn’t cry during movies often but there are three cinematic moments that always gut her: the scene where the old lady leaves Todd in Fox and the Hound, Mufasa’s death, and Littlefoot’s mom’s death.

Her mom went on a business trip for two weeks when Theo was nine, and during those two weeks, Theo made her dad and both her brothers learn how to French braid hair in her mom’s place. She herself does not know how to do French braids.

She’s allergic to bees. Not anaphylactic, but the way she talks about it is so dramatic that most people assume one bee sting will kill her.

*Theo hasn’t been to Arizona since she was eight, but she’ll trash talk it all day long.

She’ll tell anyone who asks that her grandfather is a cult leader. He is, in fact, a cult leader.

Three separate people paid her to take their SATs for them when she was 17. She earned $375 and used that money to buy Three Days Grace concert tickets

She’s never not had a pink phone case.

Her younger brother was four and didn’t speak any English when he was first adopted, so the family was taught very basic Vietnamese phrases while he took ESL classes. Theo only remembers how to say hello and how to count to twelve.

Her weekly self-care routine is painting her nails and watching The Nanny, every Sunday evening. She has the complete series on DVD. She also uses this time to fill out her weekly bullet journal spread.

The only non-traditional academic subject Theo was passionate about growing up was music, and the one thing she regrets about having graduated early is that she didn’t get to be in her school’s chamber chorus that students could only audition for in their senior year

Theo is arthritic in her knees and hips.

She’s 28 years old, has had two middle names her entire life, and still has no clue how she’s supposed to write them both out on paperwork.

She’s never had an avocado in her life and doesn’t plan to change that anytime soon. 

There are very few people she’ll admit this to out loud, but Theo wants children. She doesn’t care about marriage and considers it to be archaic, but she wants to be someone’s mom instead of just being someone’s daddy.

She RSVP’d to raid Area 51. Don’t tell Jemma.

Theo believes the United States faked the moon landing. 

She started wearing glasses when she was five, and then got contacts when she was 14. The reason for this is because she also got braces when she was 14, and she refused to be the cliche of a nerdy smart girl with both braces and glasses. 

She hates the taste of alcohol.

[mikhailacey]

TASK NINE →

When Lacey’s mother found out she was pregnant with her, it was when she took a test in a strip club bathroom during a friend’s birthday. The first person she told was a gal working that night, whose stage name was Lacey Bitz. Yes, Lacey was named after a stripper.

Her grandfather gave her a Russian name, Yevgenia, and usually called her by its diminutive, Zhenya.

She’s left handed.

Lacey has one tattoo on her right wrist: the longitude and latitude of Yekaterinburg, Russia.

She also has her ears pierced twice, and had her belly button pierced as a teenager but took it out after a year.

She hates storms but loves the sound of rain.

Faith is very important to Lacey. She was raised Russian Orthodox and still identifies herself as such, but she’s much more spiritual than religious at this point.

She has asthma and has had two severe asthma attacks in her life.

Her sun sign is in Scorpio, her rising is in Libra, and her moon is in Aquarius. (Born 10.30.95 @ 6:14am).

Lacey has no problem leaving the house with an almost naked face, but because her eyelashes are so light and pretty much invisible, she feels most confident when she has at least mascara on.

Her favorite Disney movie is Oliver and Company.

In the days leading up to her grandfather’s passing, he was in and out of senility. During this time, he called Lacey by her mother’s name on two separate occasions. Those are both moments she refuses to think about, and she’s never told anyone about them or how much it hurt to be compared to her, even just by name.

Pancakes are her comfort food.

She doesn’t correct people when they mispronounce her last name, but always makes a point to ask people how to say their name if she’s unsure.

Drops of Jupiter is her favorite song.

She prefers watching tv shows more than movies.

The accessories she wears every day are a silver cross that she got for her thirteenth birthday, and a watch. She has a bunch of different watches that she switches out between, but she wears one on the daily.

Elephants are her favorite animal, and she has a stuffed animal that she got as a child which she still sleeps with every night.

If baking wasn’t an attainable career, Lacey thinks she’d have liked to be a vet.

She has absolutely no grace when wearing heels and has resigned herself to a life of tennis shoes and flats. It’s safer for everyone around her.

Her favorite holiday is Christmas, and she starts saving up extra money starting in September to make sure she can spoil her family and friends.

Lacey is the youngest employee at the bakery she works out, but due to the fact that she’s basically an old lady, she gets along splendidly with everyone and attends a monthly brunch and bingo date with the gals.

[acuppellarp]

TASK 9: HEADCANONS

Who knows your characters better than you do? After all this time playing together, we all feel like we know the rest of the characters populating April’s little constellation of stars, but everyone has their secrets, right?

This task isn’t about modifying your original bio or making up new things about your character. This is about sharing those little things all players know about their characters which never come up for some reason or another. 

Maybe your character’s favorite fruit is the papaya, or they broke their leg when they were four. Maybe they have a secret bedtime routine or you know their childhood imaginary friend was named Bartholomew but it’s just never come up in-game. That’s what we want to know!

You can use playlists, moodboards, written explanations or literally anything you can think of to share these little tidbits about the characters we all know and love. There’s no limit as to how many headcanons you can share! 

Some topics you may want to consider include, but definitely aren’t limited to:

Childhood

Dreams

Family

Fears

Health

Home

Love

Religion

School

Sex/sexuality

Teenagehood

Traditions

Work

While we’d love to read anything and everything you want to share, we’d like the focus of the task to be on things we don’t already know either from their bios, or from gameplay.

But most importantly, be creative and have fun!

If you choose to complete this task, please tag your post with the following:

acup: task9

And finally…

TASK 1  ·  TASK 2  ·  TASK 3  ·  TASK 4  ·  TASK 5  ·  TASK 6 TASK 7 · TASK 8

[gilbertgrief-a]

APX: TASK #9:

Create your AU!Muse–

Name: Elena Gilbert Age: 18 ( eternally 39. )  Choice changed in the universe:  elena never met stefan or damon, and the accident with her family never happened and so her parents lived. this should mean that she avoided a lot of the trauma, which originally she did  ----  she also stayed in a loveless relationship with matt,  she played it safe, and while she did love him,  deep down it was never the epic love that she’d have experienced with damon.  they got married, moved in together and she was happy  ----  as happy as could be given the circumstances,  but things changed the day she found her dads lab.  curiosity got the better of her,  and it ended in a mess that she still hasn’t dealt with today. her father decided that he needed a human subject, and elena was used, against her will. it was the first time she’d learned about the supernatural, and it was completely new and frightening to her.  How the choice changed your muse’s life: grayson, being involved with augustine decided to test the properties of vampire blood on a human, and elena spent the majority of the time healing and re-healing until one day it went wrong and she died with vampire blood in her system. her father had, had a vampire compel matt into believing that she was simply out of town for months,  and her whole family believed it.  the vampire was someone she’d seen a lot of within the lab, whitmore was a place that became her prison. it was when she came around that she was hit with an indescribable hunger, it was unlike anything she’d ever felt and it took her by complete surprise. she was inexperienced, she didn’t have any control, and she was in a frenzy. she killed her dad, and then a long line of others,  consumed by a thirst so volatile and unending. in the bodies she dropped, her family were a few,  her mother, jeremy and matt included.  after it happened, with blood stained lips she found herself distraught with what she’d done and she flipped the switch, not entirely knowing what it was. but just like that, she lost her humanity, her compassion, and became someone she’d never wanted to be  -----  someone a different version of herself would have feared. she became a monster.   What’s your AU!muse up to nowadays:  despite it being years, elena still hasn’t flipped the switch back on, instead she moves around a lot, spends time feeding on people  -----  sometimes snatching and erasing, and other times draining them dry, she has never settled down, and she’s never gone home to mystic falls  ----  she can’t face it.  not knowing what she did, even if she doesn’t care. she heard about the mess she left behind, it was all over the papers, and she’s still reported as missing. so the towns she does go into, she tries to compel everyone to keep her self in the clear. to keep people from finding her, or from suspicions. her life went tragically down the drain, she may have avoided a car accident, but she still experienced trauma, and loss, only it’s at her own hand. 

[janneth-alegre]

En la novena misión tuvimos que realizar 2 versiones de la técnica de integración de caja en el cuerpo del corpiño. Aquí los inicios de la versión 2. Mission 9 - Task 9 / Versión 2 Box integration techniques - Version 1 by Janneth Alegre ❤️✏️📐📍✂️✂️ #trcutting #shingosato #TRboxintegration #trGoldMasterChampionship2022 #task9 #trcutting #mission9 #jannethalegre #reto9 #90DaysChallenge https://www.instagram.com/p/CgPNLgmO1lb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kvb117-caroline2020]

Second gif. A friendly lil mothman

[ashtonfinryder]

If that man in the mirror wasn’t the definition of failure he didn’t know what was.

Ashton sighed as he stood in front of the sink, a hand rubbing past his tired eyes before he peered open to stare right back like the blues in the mirror. He searched through them, trying to find a slither of evidence of who he once was but it felt like the bright wonder and life in them had drained away, leaving behind a dull blue that wished for nothing more than to explore. He once thought he found his purpose or at least something to do with his life, save lives, explore space, so much to do, so little time. But he was always hopeful, so full of life, now if his 26 year old self were to be the one looking at this reflection, he would’ve been confused, hurt, and mostly disappointed.

And then he lost all that purpose, and it became too much time. When he had a dream and had a goal, he always wanted to live forever, to continue working with space, to continue to see the science of it evolve. He always wanted to live forever, but not like this.

His gaze traveled from his eyes to his bare chest, drenched from the shower, his skin still littered with old scars from a whole other war. It went from his arms, on his back to his chest where they trailed down until the towel around his waist covered the rest. Ashton tried to remember how each one made their mark on him, but it was hard, along these years he knew he could feel his old self chipping away faster than he liked. And the fact that he almost can’t remember how they got there was more uncomfortable than the fact that they were there. His calloused hand lightly grazed past the most prominent one down his left shoulder, that one he at least remembered. His first time getting shot in Vietnam, he was alone, the one medic he knew and he had to pull the bullet out himself. He made such a mess of it that the scar of a crudely fixed up wound never faded away. That he could remember, how could he when it’s one that his mind relives over and over again, of being alone almost certain you were going to die? 

And then down a little bit to his waist, the skin was new, lighter than the rest as it still healed, the insides still feel like a 3rd degree burn taking its bloody time but he was fine. Yet another gunshot. He’s probably gotten more wounds during this half a century than he ever had in his soldier years, but they never stick around long. Even the ones of painful submission, the ones that truly started to crumble his mind, slapped and struck across his body to make him listen, listen to them so that the pain doesn’t come back. Those scars never stayed, letting his body forget, but his mind has had a harder time doing that.

He closed his eyes for a second, welcoming the darkness to stop looking at himself, because the man he saw in front of him was like the constantly reminder of failure of all his lives. From the young naive boy who wanted to go to space to the young stupid soldier who wanted to save lives to an astronaut so close to his dreams to the lost vampire that sworn his life to serve and fight.

Every single one of them. Failed.

The Vietnam War, his section got pulled back home because of how badly they were doing. Apollo 8, he died before he even got to step into his seat on the ship. Kai, he was told to take care of them and guide them and they just ran away and he didn’t even know why. The Chestertons, he was supposed to look after them, guard them with his life, somehow death rather take their lives instead of his. Margot, he was supposed to be there with her, for her. He knew that she was waiting for him to come to her, to be by her side and to protect her. And he didn’t. And now she’s dead.

If that man in the mirror wasn’t the definition of failure he didn’t know what was.

When he opened his eyes again, the tattoo mark on his right forearm catches them, the solar system from the Sun down his forearm to Pluto, still as stark as the day he got it and it still manages to bring a bubble of solemn comfort. As if he somehow remembered a little bit, of what it was like to be young and stupid, to think that a mark like that would help push him towards his dreams all the time. And then after that it just haunts him, to think of his life as a waste to have done nothing significant at all.

Ashton actually wanted the gunshot wound in his waist to stay, to not fade away, to hear that gunshot over and over again in his head, just as a reminder of who he let down, almost dreading the day he wakes up to see that it’s completely gone like it never happened and they were supposed to just move on with his life. As if it wasn’t important enough, as if Margot’s death and his mistake wasn’t important enough to leave a mark on him. But it was just going to fade away like everything else he once held dear in his life, if he could even remember them at all.

Sure he was a bloody good soldier and a fighter and he’s killed more lycans than he can count and people actually have a bounty on his head, but he was still a failure of a soldier. Hell, even Lori’s gonna realise and just hand him over to Aaliyah for his execution.

He felt like a ripped up canvas badly repainted white all over again with its old colours slightly bleeding past the white, maybe a plaster placed over it hoping that would fix it up to make him work like he should. And the quiet man with the hollow blue eyes showing the shell of a once totally different lively man in the mirror was simply the reflection of just that.

Ashton finally had the will to pull his gaze away from the mirror down to the sink where a hand was gripping the edge tightly while he constantly assaulted himself with the thoughts and sounds. And then he pulled the towel off to dry up and put on clothes to simply just.. start another night. But what else can he do but wake up to this every night as a constant haunting reminder? Thinking about all the people he haven’t failed yet, Astor, Morri, Sophie, Marg, Eric, and the damning question was who’s next? Even though he was a failure to so many people, no one was more disappointed of him than Ashton himself.