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misguidedasgardian · 3 months ago

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AMOR VINCIT OMNIA VII.

VII. Incantore

MASTERLIST

Summary: If you casted a spell on him, let it be, he likes it.

Warnings: Use of she/her pronouns, reader has hair, Ancient Rome AU accuracies and inaccuracies, arranged marriages, age difference (Marcus is late forties reader is 20), cursing, we are shorter than Marcus, reader is touch starved, depression, angst, pinning, thoughts about "customary" roles of a woman in a patriarchal society (don't even know how to describe it haha), Marcus gets an erection :(, MIGHT MISS SOME WARNINGS

Notes: Ufff another chapter of which i had scenes written before the prologue! uuhhh that makes this one of my favorite chapters! hehehe this was actually going to be named “snake’s nest” but I decided to turn it into “Enchantment” or in my mothertongue…. “El embrujo”, which is a song by a chilean artist I love 😂 (MORE POST CHAPTER)

Looking back now, it all made sense

The conversations between them, the looks they shared, the complicity.

What you couldn’t wrap your mind around… was…

Why?

Was your mother oblivious to the fact that he loved her? you really doubted it, she was one of the smartest people you ever met. She was cunning and she always seemed to be planning ahead, and she couldn't tell her alleged best friend was looking at her like he could kiss the floor she was about to walk in?

The next thing you were asking yourself was… where did you come into play? Why did Marcus want to marry you? Is it true that they were lovers like the entirety of Rome seems to believe? Then again… why?

You seemed to have lost track of time, you even dozed for a little while, but you were shaking awake by Diana, if she wasn’t smiling, you’d be scared because of the way she awakened you from your slumber

“What’s happening?”, you whined, rubbing your eyes

“The dominus is awake, domina”, she said with an excited smile, “he asked for you”. That truly surprised you. You stood up from the bed, you were still groggy, but you took a long gulp of the water you kept in your bedside table, and then you took a long breath.

You didn’t even think about what you heard him mumble in his fever, not now, if you brought those memories and the thoughts that came after back, you were not going to be able to face him right now.

With practiced stoicism you walked back to his rooms, you realised this was the third time you had been here, they stood like the rest of the Villa when you came here, impersonal, plain, lifeless, except, he was there now, laying on his bed, smiling at you when you walked in.

You entered the space as you would enemy territory, not sure what to expect. but he signaled for you to come near, next to him, you did, you even sat at the very space you were yesterday.

As you gazed upon him you were surprised to see the same man you had married six months ago, only paler, and hairier, he had this sickness clinging to his skin but other than that, he was the same man. but his hair and beard had grown a bit, by what his man told you, he had been feeling poorly soon after he reached Terraco, maybe he didn’t have the time to groom himself.

“Wife”, he called, with a weak smile, “you stand as an apparition in front of me”, he seemed honest, but he sounded the same when he whined your mother’s name in a whisper of love.

“I’m glad you are recovering your health, husband”, you offered, feeling your chest tightening.

“All thanks to you, the medicus told me”, he said, you wanted to cry, he seemed so honest, he grabbed your wrist, caressing the skin there, awaking goosebumps with his touch, “you brought me back with your caring hands”, he said.

Three months ago, you would have done anything for your husband to give that look that seemed too similar to adoration, but now it made your stomach turn.

“It was my duty”, you said with a soft smile

“You know… all those nights in Hispania, the only thing I thought about was you”, he confessed, you felt like someone squeezed your heart, “the thought of returning to you”

“Acacius…”, it felt like a plea for mercy

“I thought you called me Marcus”, he said with a dreamy smile. “The next time, I will bring you with me”, he assured you. “I won’t leave you here, I give you my word”, he promised,

And you couldn’t understand his sudden change of attitude, not after his feverish confession. Was it all it was? the fever speaking on his behalf? it didn’t seem like it, it seemed like it was a very heartfelt confession, yet, there he was, looking at you like you were a divine being.

“It’s alright”, you assured him, was he truly sick? Was he still feverish? Was he dying?

His words made your head spin, as they contradicted completely what he had mumbled in his sleep. It wasn’t odd that people murmured nonsense where they were going through a fever, you had heard it, but this particular phrase… regarding your mother… truly got to you.

Was there any truth to it at all?

“But I’m being truthful”, you mindlessly touched his forehead, to feel the temperature there, he closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying your caress, and you felt a mix of relief and concern. He catched your other hand in his too, with his big warm hands, he caressed the back of your with his thumbs.

You couldn’t believe what was happening.

“I believe you”, you said with a soft smile, you didn’t, not quite, but you were better than to upset a sick man.

“How was your mother’s wedding?”, he asked, and that made you squeeze his hands, not even conscious about it. You looked into his eyes for any sign, for anything that would tell you he was upset about it. He loved your mother, now you understood why he was so quick to leave Rome…

“It was beautiful”, you said, and you found yourself wanting to hurt him. “She is now in Greece, on a beautiful boat made of gold”, to your complete surprise, he smiled, he seemed content.

“Good”, he croaked, his voice strained by the sickness he had caught, “she deserves a resemblance of peace, of safety”, he mumbled, and he truly seemed relieved.

“She does”, you tried, and smiled at him, softly. “I should fix you something to eat”, you said then, after a strange silence, an uncomfortable silence. But he didn’t let you free yourself from his grasp

“Thulia can bring us something”, he said dismissively

“Are you feeling well, husband?”, you asked fearfully, he chuckled, and you found yourself liking the sound

“Never better, I swear it”, he said softly.

“I had Diana place offerings in the altar of Salus”, you whispered

“I’m sure she acted through your hands”, he said, you nodded, feeling strange, feeling completely lost for words or actions. His hands felt so warm and so good that you started to feel scared of the contact, of the way he looked at you.

Why? Why was he acting like this?

“You should rest husband”, you said softly

“I have been resting, for days”, he said, still with that silly smile on his face.

“Acacius”, you began

“Marcus”, he corrected

You wanted to shout at him, to stop, to stop looking at you like that, like you were the most beautiful thing. He didn’t mean it, he only was thankful to you because you took his fever away. This was something… cruel… trying to give you hope.

As he looked at you, he nodded slowly, he gave your hands a last squeeze and released them

“Thank you, wife”, he said softly, “Now more than ever I’m sure you were sent by the gods”, there was so much you wanted to ask him, to talk about, about Hispania, about what was going to happen now, in the middle of his consulate, was he going back out there?

Diana entered with a soft smile on her face, bringing a bowl, by the smell you could tell it was soup, with pieces of lamb and vegetables, and Thulia had learned that you enjoyed a handful of oats with it, and she now added it to her delicious soup each time.

You received the soup with your hands, scooted closer to him, and you started feeding him.

He moaned with satisfaction at the taste of it, it was a good soup, you liked it.

“It was you”, he said, “the oats”, you nodded with a soft smile, “Delicious”, he said, he kept looking at you with those eyes of his, those beautiful brown eyes, that looked like those of a pup. You tried not to gaze at him too long.

You were feeling so many things you truly did not know how to deal.

You had been so scared for his life, then completely heartbroken for his dazed confession, then relieved that he was fine, and he was looking fine, and now you were trying to hold it together, to not fall for this…act… that he was performing.

It had to be, right?

He looked so lovestruck, but again, it might as well be gratitude.

Not love.

He didn’t love you, he loved your mother.

“You are going to recuperate your strength in no time”, you said, as he ate the last of the big bowl of soup.

“thanks to you”, he insisted.

“Please husband”, you whispered, “you should rest”, you could tell he didn’t want to, but again, you could tell he knew that was a bit childish, so he barely nodded.

“You are going to be here when I wake up?”, he asked

“I will”, you promised him, “to give you some more of that horrible medicine that honestly I think is what made you wake up”, you teased, and you surprised yourself with it. He would have chuckled too, but he dozed off pretty quickly

Once you made sure he was asleep normally, and breathing fine, you stood up from the side of his bed and you exited the room with the empty bowl in your hands.

Trying to hold the tears

It was ironic, lately you felt as childish as ever, it was like you were a small child again, the days when you couldn’t hold the tears, you remembered a particular occasion, when you fell the last three steps of the marble stairs of the palace when you were playing with Lucius, and you broke in pitiful sobs. You were becoming a young woman, you were eleven, and yet, you fell down. More than hurt you felt humiliated, and that you’d realise, made you feel worse. Because you cried so much, legionnaires, a pretor who was visiting, and your uncle himself came to your rescue, treating you with reverence and care, as if you were a delicate doll.

That made you cry fat tears with even more sentiment.

This was like that.

You felt humiliation biting at your heels in every turn since you got married.

There was truth in his words, in each of them.

This trip, even though it ended endangering his health, it has served as a true revelation for him.

From the second that he left you in that harbour that fateful day, he started to feel guilty, terribly guilty, about leaving you like this, you were clearly upset, and he was leaving early because he didn’t want to attend your mother’s wedding.

Now that he was looking back at that moment, he found himself wanting to have done things in a completely different way.

For once, he thought he was truly going to die if he witnessed Lucilla’s wedding to another man, but he was surprised to realise while on the very journey, that he felt more guilty about the way he left you, than the fact she was marrying altogether.

For seconds, he wished he had stayed, with you, as you had asked him to take you with him, and he had refused, you were right, many generals took their wives, and right again when you pointed out that Terraco was completely under the Roman Rule, the city had been founded by Romans, and it was true you were going to be safe.

So, in a third place, he had wished that he had stayed longer, to witness the wedding, and then, to take you with him after. He felt like you could be there for one another, that you would have soothed his pain, that you would have helped him to process this.

Like he believed before, he was mourning, and one of the things that let him realize this, is the fact that he found himself missing you.

For every mile that he travelled he found himself more and more plagued with thoughts of you… of your beautiful face that he left in the harbour, of the beautiful you looked on your wedding day, of the sweetness of your voice, of the way your eyes shined when you spoke about something you liked…

Then he felt conflicted.

Lucilla had asked him to marry you for him to protect you, not from him to… take advantage of you, not for him to defile you and lust over you.

He felt terribly guilty that day, when catched you in the bath.

He truly felt like the luckiest man on earth, even if for brief seconds. To be married to you, for having a beautiful wife that wanted to take a bath with him, that wanted him.

You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. You were so willing, those first days, so full of hope. But he, using all of his strength earned in battles and wars, all his temple, had to break his heart to break yours.

He couldn’t do that to you.

You were married to him for him to protect you while he and Lucilla returned Rome to what it was supposed to be, not for him to take advantage of you.

And then, he got so sick that honestly he thought he was going to die.

While they crossed the Mediterranean he honestly thought he was going to die, the ship moved over the tempestuous waves white the sails got windswept. The only thing he thought about, was your face, was the way he was going to leave you alone, meaning, more lonely than he left you already, he was going to leave you unprotected

And then he woke up, all the way back in Rome, and that it had been you, the only one who was able to bring him back. If it was you instead of the medicus the first face he saw when he came back, he could have sworn he was dead.

But it was real.

You were so beautiful, sitting there on his bed, by his side, nursing him back to health, feeding him, touching his forehead. Caring for him.

How could he have been so blind?

It was you, this whole time.

Lucilla never loved him, not like he used to love her anyways.

Yes, used to.

The only thing in his mind had been you, this whole time.

And when he woke up, the sun was barely rising in the horizon. He took a long breath and when the first thing he felt was hunger, he knew, he was completely healed.

It was like magic, you, an enchantress who had bewitched him and healed him with her beautiful magic.

He rose from the bed, a bit groggy, but hungry and empowered by the thought of looking at your beautiful face. And when he exited his room and walked through the hallway… he was certain of your magical powers.

His house… his villa… had turned into this beautiful and colourful temple.

He remembered your face, the night you had married, how you looked around.

He did not come from wealth, he was not the son of some patrician man, or a senator, he had to raise himself, and this is the house he had bought when he reached a point in his career he couldn’t keep living in the Insula he had grown up in.

So he bought this house from a Senator who had fallen from grace, it had been abandoned for years, and he hadn’t dedicated himself into turning it into a real home, he didn’t know how, he didn’t have the time.

The first time he saw you in contrast with those empty walls his stomach turned.

You looked like a beautiful flower he had plucked from the garden and placed here, in the place that lacked everything beautiful and cozy.

But at the same time, he knew you could turn this house around to your image and liking. To do whatever you wanted with it.

And you had… he stopped on his tracks when he found some man he didn’t recognize, barefoot, working in one of the pools, the one in the atrium, that was more decorative than

When he came close to it he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The image drawn in the pool….

“Stop right there!”, he froze at the rushed words coming from the shoeless man himself. He had stopped him with a flick of his hand. And Marcus was about to give him a piece of his mind, that a simple mosaicist had no business commanding a general of the empire of Rome, but then the crazy looking man was looking at him.

“You have the most patrician face i have ever seen”

“I am the dominus of this house”, he said strongly

“Yes! that you are”, he said, and was smiling like he had just discovered fire, “I couldn’t find what I was lacking in my composition but now it's obvious!” he said, grabbing his graying hairs.

Marcus shook his head and tried to ignore the image of your nakedness, forever embedded in stone, to keep looking at the rest of the house, of the beautiful paintings that now decorated the walls, of the beautiful garden you were growing in the heart of the villa, the tasteful furniture that now decorated every corner, the beautiful colors of fabrics and tapestries that hung as well.

He didn’t even care that his arcs might be empty by now.

His villa, your villa, was now a home… a place where a couple lived. That smelled delicious and looked devine, being a faithful portrait of the delicate and great taste of the domina of the house, of you.

He was so in awe, he jumped when the doors of the entrance opened widely, to reveal a man who, by the looks of it, had run all the way to his house.

He was breathing heavily, sweating copiously, and when his eyes found him, his greeted him with a signal of his arm.

“Salve, General Acacius”, he said quickly

“Salve”, by his fancy clothes he knew who might this man work for

“I’m an envoy of the greatest Consus Licinio Craso”, he said solemnly, “and his Wife, Lucilla, she has returned from Greece, and would come to eat super at the news of the General’s arrival”, Marcus barely nodded.

“We’ll expect her at sundown” he said, “please, serve yourself some water and food”, he said, the man nodded in appreciation and got lost on his way to the kitchen.

He found you in his own study, which you had also made beautiful, reading some scrolls he didn’t recognize, so you might have bought them as well. There were rests of breakfasts on the table, and he smiled at the way you were concentrating on reading that scroll, that from where he stood, looked like it was written in Greek.

When you saw him, you jumped in place

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, Acacius”, you said hastily

“Marcus”, he insisted, but a smile was placed on his face, “I’m feeling much better”, he said quickly. “the house…”, he started. you looked at him in expectation, and maybe a bit of fear, losing the bravado you had gained in his absence

“You don’t…?”

“I love it”, he said quickly, and again… those damn eyes… looking at you… like that… “I’m so glad you make it yours, as you should have…”, he said, his breathing was heavy, his eyes dilated, he must still feel awful, you thought

“Please, go back to bed”, you murmured, taking a stand from his wooden table he used as a desk

“I feel great”, he said with a soft smile, “I do”, you smiled

“I’m glad”, you offered, “but please…?”, you asked him, you grabbed his bicep, his skin warm under your tact, but not feverish, just… a healthy temperature, he let himself be dragged by you back to his room.

He noticed, a bit sadly, that his room was the only one in the house with no “you” in it. you haven't dared to come inside it while he wasn’t there, the thought made him sad.

He gingerly let you lead him back into his bed, and he watched in awe as you commanded the house, Diana and Thulia now looked like his most trusted men, ready to fulfill his every command in the battlefield.

In minutes, he had a spread of food around him in his bed, and you had taken your place by his side.

Yes, your place, your rightful place by his side.

As Marcus looked at you help set his breakfast he wanted to be selfish, he found himself not caring about the age difference, about his mission, about how he was supposed to protect you. He cared about you as his wife, as the matron of his house, about… the future he could have with you.

Maybe he was still sick.

He wanted to let go of it all, of all that made him who he was, so he can finally take what he wanted, and not what he should… so he could treat you like his wife, and you could truly be a married couple with everything that entailed…

Everything…

You stuttered your movements because he was watching you so candidly, but you tried to ignore him as best as you could

And that look he gave you.

“Your mother…”, he started, as you had a bowl of food in your lap ready to help him, you stopped in your tracks, not ready for whatever there was to say, “is back”

“How do you…?”

“He sent someone ahead”, he said with a soft smile, “she is coming for dinner”, he said with a soft smile.

And as you looked into those beautiful dark eyes, and the happiness laying within them.

You started to confirm your suspicious

He looked so hopeful, that he finally was going to see her again.

She looked for him to tell him she was back, not you.

“I’m glad”, you said, you fed him quickie, you didn’t even understood why though, his arms worked just fine, so you gave him the bowl filled with stew, bread, cheeses, left the pitch of water on the side and ran out of his room, leaving him completely alone.

You no longer cared much, he was safe, he was alive, you had helped in that, you had done your duty… you had no more reason to keep tending to him.

He was disheartened, he was not going to lie to himself, to watch you flee the run like you were being chased by something, but… he took comfort in the thought that you were making this villa your home, you were finding your palace in all of this.

He didn't catch sight of you for the rest of the day. But he decided to take a bath. He was actually in awe of the paintings he found in the bath room.

Depictions of couples engaging in lovemaking, of goddesses and more.

Is this what you… enjoyed?

He found himself… awakened… His manhood was stiff, making him uncomfortable, the thought of you, of your hands on him, of your naked likeness in the mosaic, of the paintings on the walls.

He also felt sick by only thinking of taking care of it in the bath you also used and enjoyed. so he pulled through it. Getting out of the bath and dressed, thinking about everything he could but your nakedness.

You were meant to be his to protect not to lust over….

That was like his new mantra.

He thought about war then. About what everything meant, of him not being able to complete his mission, about him being back in Rome only three months after he went to Hispania, the legions were still out there. What was he supposed to do? never in his military career found himself in a similar position, he had never fallen sick and jeopardized his campaign.

What was he supposed to do now?

Meanwhile… you were spiraling.

You had gone with Diana and a faithful guard to the market to buy ingredients for the dinner tonight.

You were now resentful, your mother had let Marcus know, not you, that she was back, did that mean something? you were seeing things everywhere, you were becoming paranoid, and right now, you were focused on serving a delicious meal, to prove to both Marcus and your mother that you now where a grown woman. You actually didn’t know, consciously, what you wanted to achieve, but now you were determined.

And when you returned home, you spent the rest of the day making sure the villa was spotless, trying to stay out of Marcus’ way, who had called in his centurion, his most trusted man, who had come with him back to Rome, for a meeting, maybe one that decided if he was to stay here, or go back to Hispania to finish what he started.

You felt so conflicted, you didn’t like him being here and acting like… like he was acting with you, and yet, the thought of him leaving again made your stomach turn.

And yet, before you knew it, you were receiving your mother in the Atrium, she wrapped her arms around your frame, pulling you close.

She even smells different, like spices and sea breeze, like lavender and the beach. Then she greeted Marcus, with kisses on both cheeks. Like they had done their entire life, nothing out of the ordinary.

Then why did you feel like someone had your stomach inside their fist and was squeezing?

Her skin had darkened, and she honestly looked happy, more happy, her eyes were shining, and she looked like she was glowing, her hair even looked more golden, if that was even possible, maybe it was the contrast of her tanned skin.

She gazed upon the new walls of your home with wide eyes of admiration, she looked past the image in the pool in the atrium.

She praised the way you had fixed the triclinium to accommodate you for dinner, and the spread that was there ready for you all to eat.

Marcus had this proud smile on his face, looking at everything with shiny eyes of admiration, including you.

You did not know what it meant, so you took position, laying on the sofas around a table where you had placed the spread of food.

You wanted to eat, you were hungry, but as you sat there, looking down at your plate, you couldn't, you couldn’t take a single bite, your stomach clenching inside you. The hunger, as you looked up to your mother and Marcus deep in friendly conversation, turned to sickness, you wanted to throw up.

They were catching up, with his trip, of his health and her recent marriage and trip to Greece, you had always wanted to go to Greece, but alas, you never even left Rome. You looked at Marcus and his eyes were trailed on her. And you wanted to hear what your mother had to say… you did, you wanted to hear all about it, and also about Hispania, since you haven’t asked Marcus, because first he was recuperating and then you were ignoring him, so…

There was indeed something new about this though, from one second to the next he would turn to you, to gaze upon you, to talk in your direction as well, or rather to see if you were spying attention to what was being said. You were staring at him, at the way he looked at you, and then at the way he turned and looked at your own mother.

Oh gods, where you loosing it?

“You haven’t eaten anything dear”, your mother pointed out with a soft smile, that smile that a bit ago would make you feel guilty for even thinking about something that was wrong, and now? You even resented it

“I'm not hungry”, you mumbled

“You haven't eaten anything since breakfast”, Acacius pointed out

More than your husband he sounded like your father

“Are you unwell?”, asked Lucilla then, concerned washing her beautiful features, as you gazed upon her, you truly understood Acacius, she was one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen, she stood as Juno, mother of Gods, wife of Jupiter himself, and far removed from her… were you.

They constantly told you that you looked like your father, you didn’t know if that was good or bad, but none ever told you that you looked like your mother.

That could explain many things…

You snapped back to reality when you felt Acacius´ thick hand enveloping yours, making you jump at the sudden touch, at the sudden warmth

“Should I fetch the medicus?”, he asked, as your mother, the concern twisted his face

“No!”, you said quickly, releasing your hand from Acacius' hold, the rash movement was perceived by your mother, who frowned at it, as both your hands above the table were two mice fighting for a piece of bread, who shouldn't be there in the first place.

Marcus hand closed, grabbing thin air, still where you left it in between you. “I need some fresh air”, you choked out, your nose prickling with upcoming tears, “Could I be excused?”, You stood anyways, Marcus looked up at you and nodded, barely, eyes shiny and parted lips, as you were breaking his heart simply by leaving the triclinium

You felt like you couldn't breathe, like there wasn’t enough air. So, you went to the garden, the small garden you had built that was barely blooming

The sound of crickets far away and water of the fountain immediately soothed you; the air was fresh and smelled incredible, even know, the flowers that Thulia had manage to transplant from another garden outside these walls had manage to take in here, so the smell of jasmine meet you there. You plucked a beautiful flower from the plant near the entrance of the garden, and you sat on the sole stone bench by the fountain, the impluvium

You sank your nose in the soft petals, breathing in the delightful smell.

Your mother always had in hand lavenders, to hide the smell of the people of Rome, but you, as you could, always grabbed a couple of jasmine flowers to soothe your senses.

As you sat there, hidden by the darkness that shielded the garden of the lights of the house around it, you looked back to where you came from, to the triclinium on the other side of the atrium, looming over you, closing you in, the one that was supposed to become your home, your safe haven, the home to your family, and children. Now you felt suffocated by it, like you couldn’t breathe in there, like you had in your back the weight of the entire building.

You wanted to escape, to run away, you closed your eyes and you imagined the woods surrounding the west side of the city, the ones you could see from Palatine Hill. And once you were there, at least in your mind, you played a small mental game you used to enjoy when you were little. Surviving in the woods

You imagine you could take your horse, little provisions, and then gallop in the woods until you couldn’t see anymore, you wondered if you could make it out there, alone, could you hunt? Keep yourself warm? Could you hunt down wolves and meat for you to eat? You didn’t even know how to use the bow and arrow… but how hard can it be, really?

Could you find clean water and shelter?

As a small child, the very thought made you tremble and made you be thankful that you didn’t have to, but right now, the darkness, woods and wolves lurking in the dark seemed much more enticing than staying here… Trapped, trapped, used and betrayed.

You found your reflection in the water and gaze upon it, your face drawn in the water, it seemed a normal face, the same one you had gaze upon since you could remember, and you wondered what was wrong with you. Why didn’t Marcus want you?

You had many prospects that wanted your hand in marriage, and you could have been loved by any of them. Why did you find yourself married to the only man who didn’t want you?

A tear, followed closely by another ran down your cheeks

You wanted to love and be loved, you had so much love to give your chest burned with emotion, gripping your breaths hostage… this isn't fair…

Tears turned to gasps, gasps turned to cries, and then to sobs, the water had been released and there was no controlling it anymore.

“I don’t deserve this!”, you finally cracked, hiding your bitter tears behind the palm of your hands.

You felt so angry, so angry you were shaking.

You felt manipulated, you felt betrayed and used… You were feeling so many things that you believed you were going to snap, your body trying to relieve that tension in uncontrollable shakes.

You started to loose control of your own sobs, so much so you had trouble breathing

“Domina!”, from a second to the next, Thulia was there in front of you, grabbing you softly by your shoulders, “breathe”, she commanded, and you did just that, took a long breath, she left you for a moment and when she came back she had something in her hand, “drink”, you didn’t even thought about it.

It was strong and smelly, but passing something on your throat made you relax a bit, and as the seconds passed, you realized that she had given you something to… calm yourself.

And it worked, soon you were crying silently as your airways cleared and you could actually breathe freely.

“Let me escort you to your room”, she said softly. You tried to shake your head, to say you needed to go back to your mother and husband, your mind became cloudy, the fear of them being together strangely present in your now idled mind.

But you could barely walk as the seconds passed, but she was stronger than she looked, so she grabbed you and took you to your rooms.

Silence reigned at your departure. Both Marcus and Lucilla following you with their gaze as you left the villa

“What is going on?”, she asked, concerned as she looked at her friend

“I’m not sure”, he whispered, “I will make sure the medicus checks on her”, he assured her

“Is she with child?”, she asked with a small smile on her face

“No”, he said so surely, it made her frown.

“You should check on her’’, she said after a long pause, he was going to say something, but then Thulia came with urgent eyes, looking straight at Marcus

“The domina was feeling unwell”, she said with warning “I have taken her to her rooms”, they both raised from the sofas quickly, “she is asleep”, she said, and it seemed so odd for Marcus, how could you have gotten sleep so quickly?

“What happened?”, he demanded, with his strong voice that made the sweet servant tremble in front of him.

“She was really upset”, she said, “she couldn’t breathe, so I gave her Valeriana to sleep”, she left quickly after that, leaving the both of them in the triclinium, sharing concerned looks.

“Acacius”, she called, “did I make the right choice?”, it wasn’t a rhetorical question, her voice was tainted with disappointment, and it broke Marcus’ heart, “are you neglecting her?”, he wouldn’t quite use that word, but right now, as those words washed over him like a tidal wave, he came to the hard realization that maybe he had….

Did he?

“I’m so sorry…”, he whispered, “I thought I could… I thought that letting her have her space and her freedom was going to be enough, to keep her content, and to protect her”, he whispered.

“Oh Acacius”, she sighed, “you might know how to conquer cities, but you know little of conquering women”, she said with a lament

“Lucilla, I am sorry”, he said, “I am here to protect her…”

“You married her”, she remind him, “I did not intent for you to keep her in a shelf”

“Lucilla”, he did not know what to do with this conversation.

“If you are not going to do this right, don’t do this at all”, she said, “we are breaking her heart Acacius”, she whispered sadly.

And now he didn’t know what to say.

You opened your eyes and you were met with your uncle’s deep piercing gaze, looking down upon you, those ghostly blue eyes, darkened by those deep dark circles under his eyes.

“Uncle Commodus?”, your childish voice sounded so foreign, “what are you doing?”, you asked after you giggled

“I watch you sleep littlest princess”, he said simply

“Why?”, you asked him

“You sleep so peacefully”, he explained, with that sharp voice of his, “tell me something little one…”, you just looked at him expectantly, “do you sleep so well because you are so loved?”

“Ah!”, you awoke, shaken, sitting on the bed. Your chest ached and you felt your heart beating so hard you thought it was going to come out by your mouth.

It felt so real, like the former Emperor had been right there in front of you.

When you came to your senses you realized you were in your room, the sun barely gazing upon the horizon.

Marcus was right there, sitting on an uncomfortable wooden chair, he was asleep but as soon as he sensed you had shifted he opened his eyes slowly.

Your mother was sitting on the other side of your bed. Had she slept here in your villa last night? Where is she and Marcus?... you looked back at him and you felt nauseous

“What happened?”, you asked, you felt groggy

“You were so upset, Thulia gave you something to make you sleep”, explained your mother, caressing your cheek, but unlike the times before, her touch made you uneasy, it didn’t soothe you.

She must have known

How could she not? you could even tell now as you saw the way Marcus looked at her, so, she must have known he loved her.

She knew and she married you to him anyway, was all of this just some sick game to her? you never thought she could be so cruel, but the proof was there.

“How are you feeling?”, your face turned to Acacius, he seemed really concerned. You looked at him, and then back at your mother, only the three of you in the room.

You wanted to cry again

“I’ll leave you both alone”, said your mother with a shy smile, “I should go back home”.

“Actually…”, you said quickly, “I would like to rest, alone”, you begged them, they exchanged concerned looks and Marcus even had the decency to look hurt by your words

“Of course”, he said, rising from the stool by the side of your bed, and they both left the room.

You dozed off a bit after they left, your mind clouded with images of the past, of your uncle, of your brother, of the fear after your grandfather’s passing, the uncertainty. You were older than Lucius, you remember more vividly, your mother’s fear, the way she kept you guarded and in a separate wing at the palace, now you had the perspective of adulthood you understood why…. the attitude your uncle had, regarding your mother… the danger you were all in…

Why were you dreaming about him now? After all this time?

Marcus himself entered your room slowly, looking at you with his big eyes.

“I wished to speak to you, wife”, he said softly. You feared what he had to say, but he seemed relaxed, not like he was about to tell you he was divorcing you because he loved your mother and she loved him too and they were going to finally get married and abandon you…

You were spiraling

“Yes Acacius”, you said softly

“Marcus”, he said, frowning

“Marcus”, you offered. you played with your fingers nervously.

“Wife”, he called, oh he wanted your whole attention, you raised your head to look at him, you still find it odd that he called you that, before he left for Hispania, he used to call you by your name only, “the medicus and I believe, that for my recovering health, it would be best if we retreated to the country”, he said, and that truly surprised you, “As you know, I have a villa at the edge of lake Bracciano, up north the Via Clodia”, he explained softly, and that truly sounded like a dream.

He seemed to relax once he saw your small smile.

Oh so he wasn’t going to run away with your mother, he wanted to take you with him, alone…

“We should”, you encouraged, “we should go, for your health”

Something strange happened, as for the very first time since he was married to you, he seemed to truly… see you… he gazed upon you, upon your face, with something you would have liked to see on the day you married him.

But he was… again… playing with you, probably.

But the thought of going to the country truly excited you. You could take Luna, you were certain she was going to be happy in the country, free and with all the grass she could eat… and you too…

Maybe just maybe… you could hold on into a bit of hope.

PCN: I don't like it when chapters have too many "spacers", but i think this is neccesary, you know? to amrk a "change of scene", I ask for forgiveness for any writting mistakes, I was -as always- excited to post this! JEJEJEE

“El embrujo” it's a cumbia song from an artist I like 😂 the song states that "everyones" saying that this woman put a spell on him, on the singer, because he had have many lovers, but he loves her so much she probably “bewtiched him” and then he goes on and says “so what? if its true, let it be! Enchanted and bewitched by you, so what? I’m happy, do not broke this spell on me” hahahaha, Marcus is now somewhat enchanted and we don’t want anything to do with with! talk about timing!

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