#Tezos for Humanity | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ofthemorningstars · 4 months ago

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Eternally Yours

TerzOmega ~ Family Fic ~ Angst/Comfort ~ Resurrection AU ~ Angst With a Happy Ending

17.6k Words AO3 Version

"Omega did alright for a little while. He tried, he really did. The harder he tried to fight the worry, though, the more it consumed his thoughts. Sitting there with his Starlight, his baby, finally snuggled in his arms, such an unfathomably cherished gift, he still couldn’t get out of this awful headspace. Even with his lips pressed to her precious little head, comforted by her newborn smell, all he could think about here at the beginning of her life was the potential end of it. What was wrong with him?!"

The story of Omega and Terzo's lives together from Terzo's resurrection until his final death (and beyond), as told through the lens of Omega's mental health.

Content Warning: major character death (Terzo), discussion of anxiety and mental health, mpreg(cis) and pregnancy, pregnancy complications, medical mention, fertility issues, anxiety about child death (no child death occurs), intrusive thoughts, discussion of the afterlife

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Omega was in trouble. At least, that’s what his anxiety was telling him. Being anxious was a fairly new experience in his millennia of existence. He had been scared, for sure, perhaps even terrified, but never anxious. Not until he met Terzo. Meeting his human had opened the door to an entirely new emotional world, one full of beauty and bliss beyond compare—but also rife with things that made his heart ache in ways he wasn’t prepared for. Every day of their first year together had held something entirely novel for him, it seemed; nothing could have prepared Omega for being in love with Terzo.

When Terzo had been ripped away from him, all Omega ever felt was pain and anxiety, and so Omega felt guilty for being anxious now that things were so much better . After all, not only had Terzo impossibly returned to him after his untimely death, but they were finally getting the domestic life that they always wanted. Instead of hiding their love in the shadows, they were free to live their lives together in the open. Terzo had made sure of that: his only condition for helping Copia rebuild the ministry after the insurrection was giving the ghouls their freedom. Giving them status as equals. Now Omega and Terzo were living together in their own private suite in a secluded wing of the building, a far cry from sneaking around in the dead of night to spend time together. He looked down at his wedding ring, unable to hold back his smile. It too had been hidden for countless years, worn only in private. The fact that it now had a permanent home on his finger felt like a miracle. He knew that by his very nature, he wasn’t supposed to indulge in thoughts of things like miracles, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have another word for it. They had so many things now that they for the longest time could only dream of. And now they were real, they were happening! Omega sometimes struggled to comprehend and accept his new reality.

Still, dealing with the sudden death of the love of your eternal life would be hard on anyone, even if they returned to you. He had wanted to follow after Terzo, to be with him in the pit, but the Imperator cruelly prevented him from leaving the mortal plane in what he could only assume was punishment for his forbidden relationship with a human, with an Emeritus. Tezo had been dead for years before the fall of the Imperator, before Copia had embarked to pull his brothers back from the pit. Of course Omega had been the one to help. Of course finding Terzo in the state he was in there scarred them both…

Of course it had taken Terzo months to feel like himself again.

Terzo still had night terrors from his time being dead. The pit wasn't “hell”, not in the traditional sense. Time and the nature of reality were fluid there, amorphous. Someone's existence was entirely created in their mind, their reality shaped by themselves. To beings like ghouls who were born to it, it was a playground without limits, one where anything was possible. Humans who were at peace with themselves had much the same experience. But for those with inner torment, that torment was amplified a thousandfold. Reality was shaped by your thoughts, and their thoughts were plagued by regret, regret that played out over and over. They couldn't help it, they simply got stuck in their own heads, in a hell of their own making. The Bible, the Christians, even the ministry were wrong about the “how” and the “why”, but the idea of hell did come from somewhere.

Omega knew well that Terzo had lived and died with many regrets. Despite the comfort Terzo took in Omega, in their love, Terzo was a tormented man haunted by a life of trauma and strife. He was in servitude to the ministry almost as much as Omega was. Omega had always wanted to take him away from it all, but at the time he was even more powerless to their circumstances than Terzo was. When Terzo had died suddenly and brutally, the shock of being wrenched away from his lover, his husband, had been Terzo’s biggest torment. For that, for all the pain the ghoul’s existence had caused Terzo after death, Omega was haunted. Terzo never blamed or resented him after his return, though. Sometimes Omega wished he would. He felt like he deserved it for not protecting Terzo. For failing him in his hour of need.

After Terzo’s death, Omega had been sure he was lost forever. Humans in torment were hard to find and harder to save, and in his subjugation to the ministry, he couldn't even start looking. The denial and bargaining stages of Omega’s grief were long and brutal and recurring, but no matter how hard he brainstormed, he couldn't figure out a way to help Terzo. To get him back . For all of Copia's years of inaction and complicity, he had truly redeemed himself in Omega's eyes by taking control of the ministry and rescuing his brothers. Omega's anger and resentment and hatred for the man had been paved over with immeasurable gratitude.

Now that the dust had settled though, Omega was experiencing an entirely different type of anxiety. Worrying over Terzo potentially getting bored of him, Omega realized, was a bit silly, especially given everything they had been through. Still, he couldn't shake his feelings of inadequacy. Some days he felt like he didn't even have a personality to share, offered nothing for Terzo to love. He felt like a blank canvas. In the pit he'd known who he was, but that was an entirely different existence. Another life. During his many summonings on earth, he had always been a soldier or a servant. It was hard to find yourself when you lived in survival mode. When you weren't treated like a person. Being retired, being free�� It was exhilarating, but also terrifying. Omega didn't know how to just exist on Earth. He didn't know who he was anymore outside of his love for Terzo.

Even as Terzo sat curled up into Omega’s side tonight, Omega’s heart was sinking. Terzo was ignoring their movie in favor of examining and picking at his nails, bitten down to the beds as they often were since his resurrection. He just seemed so… bored. Omega had seen Terzo be many things in their three decades together, but very seldom bored. Rationally he knew that boredom was a privilege, one not afforded by the dangerous, high-risk lifestyle they used to lead. The time they did have together previously was usually rushed, tinged with desperation… The slow, quiet moments they shared were loaded with meaning, lived like they could be their last because they very well could have been. Now that they had—or were supposed to have—countless quiet moments together, Omega realized that he had no idea how to spend them. The silence made him nervous, and he felt obligated to fill it but didn’t know how.

When Terzo sighed and nuzzled into Omega’s chest, pressing an innocent kiss to his pec, Omega grabbed him by the chin and leaned down to attack Terzo’s mouth with his own. Terzo made a surprised sound but quickly began kissing back with equal fervor. Soon Omega was on top of Terzo on the sofa, the movie forgotten about.

This happened often, Omega seeking comfort in the way that Terzo’s body welcomed and embraced his own. He defaulted to connecting with Terzo in the way he was most intimately familiar with—with body and quintessence. Shielding Terzo from his inner turmoil when they were connected mentally and emotionally through his quintessence was hard work, but he wouldn’t sacrifice that bond. He couldn’t.

Omega began to seek out activities for them to do together, constantly coming up with something new to try to avoid the silence. Puzzles, games, crafts, DIY projects, anything that he could think of. Terzo seemed confused by this turn of events, and soon Omega could tell that his enthusiasm for these distractions was waning. So, whenever Omega was feeling insecure or things got a little too quiet, they would inevitably end up tangled together. Omega hated to reduce their relationship to the purely physical, but he didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t let Terzo figure out just how… boring he was.

Terzo wasn’t dumb, though, nor was he oblivious, and it didn’t take long for him to confront Omega about his constant deflections. Terzo was laid out on the kitchen table after a particularly quiet dinner one night, Omega in the process of unbuttoning his pants when Terzo stopped him.

“Mmph,” Terzo protested against Omega’s mouth, pulling away with a wet smack. “Amore… You know that I want you, but what has gotten into you lately? You are not yourself.” Omega knew he must look like a deer in headlights. He sure felt like one. “What do you mean, tesoro?” Omega tried to cooly deflect, quickly hiding his guilty expression against Terzo’s neck as he kissed his throat. He nipped and sucked at the spot that always made Terzo melt, but Terzo was having none of it.

“Stop.” His tone was gentle, but still firm enough that Omega winced. Reluctantly Omega pulled away and stood straight. Terzo’s face was lined with concern and, worst of all, hurt. “Omega. Am I… boring you…? Lately I have been feeling like all you want from me is sex.” Omega swallowed hard, reeling at this turn of events. Shit. He had worried about being found out, but he never expected Terzo to interpret his actions this way. Bored? Of Terzo? That was blasphemous, and not in a good way.

“W-what do you mean?” Omega repeated himself, his voice unsteady. He couldn’t explain his decision to play dumb—even as the words left his mouth, he knew he’d fucked up. Terzo looked stricken and insulted, sitting up, his watery eyes darting to the exit as though contemplating escape. As Terzo got to his feet and turned to leave, Omega panicked, his knees giving out. Ignoring the four chairs surrounding their kitchen table, Omega slumped to the floor. He broke down at Terzo’s feet, explaining his worries and how he felt like he wasn’t going to be enough for Terzo now that they had no distractions. Now that the wolves were no longer at their door, would Terzo have the time and presence of mind to see Omega for who he truly was and leave him? Who even was he? Omega didn’t have the answers.

Terzo’s face softened, his eyes full of compassion as he listened intently to Omega. When Omega’s rant started to lose steam and he began to weakly repeat himself, Terzo knelt in front of him, getting on his knees and hugging Omega tightly around the neck. Omega was caught off guard by the gesture, reacting by pulling Terzo into his lap and holding on for dear life as he sobbed. Terzo held on just as tightly, stroking wherever he could reach until Omega’s breathing returned to normal. “Omega…” Terzo started carefully, looking for the right words. “I love you. I do not know how to make myself any clearer, but it is true, Omega. I love you, unconditionally.” Terzo’s voice broke momentarily. “I love you for who you are. You are such a wonderful person. So sweet and kind and gentle, so protective, so passionate.” He punctuated his statement with a kiss between Omega’s horns. “You are funny and quick-witted. You are hard-working. You have the biggest, most endearing personality of anyone I have ever met. And you are mine. I am not going anywhere. Ever. And, you know…” Terzo paused, thinking for a moment. “I have never lived a normal life either. This is all new to me, too. We will have to learn. Together.”

Omega looked up at him, searching his face; sincerity was written all over it. He watched as an idea seemed to dawn on Terzo and he made to get to his feet, but Omega stopped him, clinging tightly. Terzo caressed Omega’s face, peppering him with little kisses until Omega felt steady enough to release him. Omega tried hard to keep himself together when Terzo disappeared from the kitchen, knowing he would return. Still, Omega didn’t like it when Terzo was out of his sight anymore. He didn’t know what he’d do when Terzo eventually returned to his ministry duties. When Terzo returned it was with a large shoebox, nondescript but still one that Omega would recognize anywhere. Gently he set it on the table before offering his hand to Omega and helping him to his feet. Terzo sat them down at the table and opened the box. Inside were hundreds of letters between the two, spanning three decades. Holding onto them had always been risky, but neither of them had been able to let their love notes go. Omega had raided Terzo’s chambers in the middle of the night—with Alpha’s help—after Terzo’s assassination to try and rescue whatever keepsakes he could, and the letters had been the first thing he’d grabbed, along with Terzo’s wedding ring. He combined their collections into one box; if they couldn’t exist together, at least their memories could.

Terzo gingerly removed the lid from the well-worn box, setting it aside. He pulled his chair closer to Omega’s until they sat shoulder to shoulder, bodies pressed tightly together. Omega took solace in his warmth. Pulling out several letters, Terzo placed them overlapping on the table so that only his signature was visible on the bottom of the pages. “Do you notice something here? I want you to look closely, mio caro.” Terzo was serious, but Omega was puzzled despite how badly he wanted to give the right answer. Hesitantly Omega shook his head. “Look at the signature.” Omega was even more confused now.

“You… have very lovely handwriting?” Omega wasn’t trying to be obtuse, but he didn’t get it. Blessedly Terzo was patient with him. “Mm, thank you, but not quite.” There was the barest hint of teasing in Terzo’s voice. “Every single letter here, what did I sign it with?” Realization dawned on Omega all at once and tears stung at his eyes. “Eternally yours.”

“Mmhm,” Terzo’s mismatched eyes were soft, warm—Omega wanted to drown in them. “I have always meant it, Omega. I always will.” Terzo met his lips in a kiss, one that Omega wished would never end, but inevitably they had to break apart. Omega leaned on Terzo heavily, and Terzo didn’t seem to mind, wrapping an arm around the ghoul. “You told me you were joking at first, you know. When we first started exchanging letters,” Omega said after a long moment of thinking on Terzo’s words. Terzo huffed a laugh. “I was a good liar, even to myself.” That was the night they made the decision to get a fireproof safe for their letters.

From then on, Omega worked hard to remind himself that quiet moments were a normal part of life. Their silence grew companionable rather than uncomfortable as he realized just how much he had been blowing the amount of time they spent quietly together out of proportion. In reality, they talked the majority of the time, conversation coming easily and flowing naturally between them. Omega had simply been fixated on a perceived negative. He even started to enjoy it, content with how peaceful and warm it felt to have the privilege of existing together without any pressure. Without the looming threat of separation.

Anxiety came calling once again when Terzo decided to go back to work, though. Terzo had spent about seven months recovering at home since his return to the realm of the living, and he was starting to get restless. He assured Omega that it had nothing to do with him. Omega was and always would be enough for him.

But as someone who had been made to work like a dog his whole life, Terzo didn’t know how to just… exist. Terzo also worried about what was going on behind the scenes in the ministry, as he still wasn’t sure if he could trust Copia. Omega supposed it was only natural to distrust someone when they were the reason you were murdered. Omega could relate, even if he had mostly managed to mend fences with Copia after their rescue mission. Just like that, the decision to take on his new duties was made. Omega didn’t have the heart to try and talk him out of it; he would never want to stifle or hold back his partner.

The first day was the hardest. Omega couldn’t sit still, unable to get comfortable and failing to focus on any distractions. His mind kept wandering to thoughts of Terzo and of what he might be doing, what his day was looking like. Even though he knew he would get to hear all about it when Terzo came home—and he would come home—he couldn’t stop his mind from racing. From fixating on everything they had been through. Ignoring the darkest corners of his mind whispering to him that Terzo might not come back after all, Omega took deep breaths and tried to ground himself. It didn’t work. All day he had to fight the urge to go find Terzo and bring him home himself. Eventually he began pacing their chambers like a caged animal, and that was how Terzo found him when he returned. Omega was so caught up in his own self-destructive thoughts that he didn’t even hear Terzo enter or approach, jumping when Terzo placed a hand on his back. The knowing sadness in Terzo’s eyes when he turned to face him broke Omega. Sweeping Terzo off of his feet and carrying him to their bed, Omega wrapped himself tightly around the man and began to cry.

Omega felt so dramatic and silly weeping in his husband’s arms just because he’d been alone for eight hours, but he couldn’t stop the tears, couldn’t fight his association between solitude and death. All of Omega’s alone time over the last several years had been because Terzo was dead. It was hard not to fall back into that headspace now that he was experiencing it for the first time all over again. Terzo simply held him and let him cry himself out, rubbing his back and humming softly. When Omega calmed enough to find his voice, he sounded meek and apologetic.

“Tesoro,” Omega rasped. “I am so sorry, tesoro. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I…” He choked back a sob, fearing the tears would start again if he acknowledged his feelings. “I was worried you’d never come home. I know it’s so stupid, I know. But…” He hid his face in Terzo’s neck, ashamed of himself. “The last time you were gone, you were gone , Terzo. Forever.” Terzo held Omega closer to his body until his breathing returned to normal. Omega let Terzo’s comforting scent soothe him.

“I am so, so sorry, Omega.” Terzo breathed. He sounded like he was working hard to keep himself steady, to be strong. “I will never leave you the way I did then ever again. Never.” There was the tremor in Terzo’s voice that he’d been fighting. “I will stay home from now on, amore. I do not ever want you to feel this way.” Finally pulling back to face Terzo, Omega saw twin tear tracks running down his mate’s cheeks. He didn’t know his heart could sink any further.

“No!” Omega protested, perhaps a bit too loudly he realized as he watched Terzo flinch. Resting a large, clawed hand on Terzo’s chest, he could feel the human’s heart racing. Guilt flooded him, for a multitude of reasons. He tried again, softer this time. “Mio amato, no. Please. I don’t want to stop you from living your life, especially now that you have it back. I just… I need time. Time to figure this out, to figure out how to live without you even for a few hours. It’s not healthy or fair to glue myself to you. To stifle you…” Terzo kissed him, soft and slow, and Omega knew then that he could never live with himself if he held this beautiful man back. Sometimes it felt like he needed Terzo more than he needed oxygen. As an immortal being, one could argue that was true. But Terzo had needs too, needs that mattered just as much. Omega needed Terzo to be happy and fulfilled, even if that meant making adjustments. Hopefully that was all Omega needed, an adjustment.

“I want you to work, if that’s what you want to do. I want you to do what makes you feel good, to make a difference. I am so very proud of you, I need you to understand that. It isn’t fair for me to ask you to abandon everything else in your life for me. Me being retired doesn’t mean you have to be, too.” Omega inched forward after he’d finished speaking until they were nose to nose. “You… being gone… it changed me in ways that can never be undone. I know it did the same to you. But I can work on this, as long as I have you. It’s important to me that you have your freedom. I would never take that away from you… I couldn’t.”

Terzo made them dinner that night, much later than usual, Omega's arms wrapped around him from behind the whole time and clinging unapologetically. Omega couldn't let go right now, couldn't bear to put an inch between them. Not content to merely sit next to each other on the same side of the table as they usually did, Omega pressed their bodies together as they ate. Terzo never complained, instead leaning further into Omega.

Terzo took the next three days off, giving the excuse of being overwhelmed and exhausted by his first day working again after so long. To his credit, Copia was very understanding and even offered to give Terzo longer to recover. They were able to come to an agreement: Terzo would come back to his duties in increments, starting with just two hours a day and working up to more at his own pace. Omega felt silly and more than a little selfish at making Terzo's entire life revolve around his panic attacks. Terzo spent those three days making sure Omega knew just how much he cared about the ghoul and his needs, spending their time wrapped up in each other body and soul.

In an effort to keep himself occupied during the workday, Omega asked Terzo to teach him how to knit. Terzo had always spent an inordinate amount of time in solitude and had actually been taught several fiber arts by a group of ghouls as a preteen. It had helped keep him sane through the isolation. Terzo was always thrilled to help Omega learn a new skill, especially one that could be therapeutic for him. He had taken great joy in teaching Omega how to cook all those years ago—especially since Omega continued learning on his own and now spoiled Terzo with elaborate dishes as often as he could.

Exceptionally gifted with his hands and ever the attentive student, Omega picked up knitting at a pace that surprised even himself. He would no doubt need assistance and instruction beyond the three days Terzo had at home, but being able to do the basics would keep him busy, keep him distracted. It was enough.

“My ghoul is so talented,” Terzo praised him with a lingering kiss on the cheek. Omega closed his eyes to the sensation, dissociating momentarily, struggling to believe this was real. These episodes still came often and were disorienting, but were steadily becoming easier to ride out. “I am so proud of you.”

Although they always spent all of their time together since being reunited, Omega took extra care to cherish those three days before they tried being apart again. Terzo frequently caught him staring and would smile softly in return, assuring Omega of how much he loved him. They were on the same page, operating on the same wavelength. Neither of them cared how saccharine their dynamic was; they had earned the right to softness.

“Mm, are you sure you are ready, amore?” Terzo spoke softly against Omega's hair as they were curled up in bed together the night before Terzo was set to return. Omega didn't look up from where his head was resting on Terzo's chest, responding with a hum he hoped didn't sound as uncertain as it felt. It didn't matter- the nervous twitch of Omega's tail would have given him away regardless. “I do not have to go back yet if you need more time.” Omega buried his face in Terzo’s neck, kissing tenderly along the prominent scar. Although it was a jarring reminder of their hardships, it was also what brought them back together. For that, he would always be grateful.

“I’m ready. I can do this, I promise.” Omega searched blindly for Terzo’s hand. As their fingers threaded together, Omega took a deep breath and allowed Terzo’s scent to ground him. “As long as you come home to me, I can handle the moments in between.”

“Handling the moments in between” is exactly how it started, with Omega always feeling like he was just… waiting. Not really living, just existing and trying to kill time until Terzo got home—and he was always so clingy when Terzo finally did get home, he was embarrassed to admit. He continued to knit, spending much of his day with needles in hand as he taught himself increasingly advanced techniques. For a while it was just a distraction, but eventually he began to enjoy it. He even felt productive.

Once he was more comfortable and able to spend full eight-hour days alone, he felt safe venturing out of his new routine, volunteering and helping out around the ministry. His favorite task was helping Primo in his garden and apothecary, enjoying learning about the plants and being outside for a change. During his first day working in the hot sun, he realized just how much he had been neglecting his fitness over the last several years due to depression. He vowed to get back in shape and stuck to it, taking frequent opportunities to slyly show off in front of Terzo. Although he pretended not to notice the way Terzo’s face would flush, the way his husband would ogle him, he desperately sought out the validation. Terzo never disappointed him.

Feeling more confident in their new life together, Omega and Terzo began to let themselves explore dreams and possibilities they’d never dared to seriously entertain. While they had always talked about wanting to have a family, it was really just a fantasy, more of a source of pain than anything realistic in their forbidden relationship. It was something to be cried about and mourned over. But now that they were living their lives in the open… what was stopping them? They danced around the topic at first, afraid to say it out loud. Insinuations and innuendos grew bolder, until one evening the tension boiled over as they cuddled and caressed, Terzo finally giving voice to what they had both been thinking. “I think we should have a baby,” was Terzo’s simple declaration as they watched TV snuggled up together. His tone was nonchalant, as though he were proposing something as mundane as what they should have for dinner. Omega choked, his face heating up as his heart nearly leaped out of his chest. He was entirely unprepared to have this conversation right now, but oh was he so glad that Terzo had been the one to say what they’d both been thinking for months. “H-how?” was all Omega could stammer out in response. Terzo shrugged, climbing onto Omega’s lap and kissing along his jaw. “We will figure it out.” Terzo sounded so sure of himself that Omega believed him without question. They talked through their limited options for weeks, always hitting the same dead ends. Over time they grew increasingly despondent and frustrated, and soon it almost felt like the old days of crying over things that could never be. It wasn’t until a very drunk Primo chimed in during one of their game nights that the first seeds of hope were planted.

Terzo had nearly reached his limit, clearly quite intoxicated, his head on the table. Omega could tell from his seat in the corner that he would have to carry Terzo home soon if he didn’t cut their game short. He didn’t think he’d have to, if the waves of sadness radiating off of Terzo were to be believed: Terzo was ready to leave. Omega didn’t need to ask to know exactly what he was thinking about. He was just about to get up and gather their belongings when Secondo started getting confrontational, as he often did when he was plastered. Secondo was ever the instigator, and frankly, Omega didn’t understand why Terzo put up with it. “You know, I don’t get what the fuck your problem is lately,” Secondo slurred, a finger aimed at Terzo’s face. Omega bristled, ready to intervene. “You’ve been really bumming everyone out. Look at you, you’re about to cry right now!” Omega watched Terzo’s shoulders stiffen, but he didn’t sit up. “Don’t pretend you would care or even understand,” Terzo spat bitterly. “You are the most selfish, ungrateful deadbeat I have ever met. You probably have twenty children all across the world that you have never met and yet you are still a miserable old fuck.” Terzo didn’t seem to realize that he had accidentally revealed too much about his current woes. Secondo, on the other hand, picked up on it immediately. “Oh ho ho, trouble in paradise?” Secondo sneered. Omega felt his face grow hot. “What, you’re going to be a bitch because your boy toy can’t give you a baby, is that what this is about?” On his feet before he knew what was happening, Omega crossed the room in long strides, head swimming with rage. “Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you married a–” Omega yanked Secondo out of his seat by his shirt collar before he could finish whatever nasty thing he was about to say. Rousing at the commotion, Terzo shot up, grabbing Omega’s arm. “Omega, please–” Terzo started, but before he could finish his protest, Primo loudly cleared his throat, vying for their attention. Reluctantly Omega turned to look at the oldest of the brothers. Omega knew that even piss-drunk, Secondo wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and fight him.

“You two idiots do know that ghouls can reproduce with humans of any sex, yes? Ghouls are Satan’s finest creation, they are designed to infest, to multiply.” Omega’s mouth fell open, his grip on Secondo loosening. Secondo used the opportunity to squirm out of his grasp, and Omega didn’t try to stop him. Hastily the smaller man backed away, dusting himself off before taking his seat again with an indignant huff. Primo wobbled a bit in his chair, but he sounded so sure of himself that he had Omega’s undivided attention. “It is not commonly done, and certainly not simple, but it is not unprecedented. I do not understand why you are moping around all of the time and making everyone miserable. If you want a child, have a child!” Terzo was upon Primo immediately, seeming to have sobered up as he demanded to hear everything Primo knew about the subject. Omega quickly joined him, his heart pounding in his ears, feeling like he might vibrate out of his own skin. Secondo rudely announced that he was leaving; no one cared.

Unfortunately, it soon became clear that Primo was far too drunk to provide any additional insight. They helped him back to his chambers, Terzo threatening to beat down his door in the morning if Primo didn’t call him straight away. Although he used his quintessence to help Terzo fall asleep before he could have a meltdown, Omega stared off into the distance all night, wide awake. His mind was racing, exploring endless possibilities and yet somehow blank at the same time. Morning couldn’t come soon enough.

Terzo did in fact try to beat down the door to Primo’s chambers the next morning when he didn’t answer his phone. Omega was trying to talk him out of calling Copia for a key when the door finally swung open, revealing a very haggard-looking Primo, who was holding his head in his hands. “Fratellino… Were it not for owing your ghoul my life, I would sacrifice you to the abyss right now.” Terzo ignored Primo’s threat, pushing past him into his quarters and flopping onto the sofa. “We are not leaving until you tell us everything. ”

As challenging and impractical and impossible as it seemed, conceiving a child of their own was sounding like their only way forward into parenthood. The ministry didn't take in many orphans these days, and adopting a human child as a ghoul would never be allowed. Young ghouls were rarer still—ghoul reproduction was elaborate and intentional and sacred , never an accident. No ghoul parent would willingly give up a child they had worked so hard for. Because ghouls were still kept secret from the outside world, it wasn't like they could just… leave. No, Omega and Terzo learned just how difficult having a child together would be. How much work and pain and sacrifice would be demanded from them, how much ritual would be involved. They thought and talked and cried about it together exhaustively when they returned home. They knew what they were getting themselves into, and there was nothing that they wanted more.

Guided by a reluctant and uncomfortable Primo—who was no doubt wishing he had never let it slip that ghouls and humans could procreate together in the first place—they started on what would prove to be an agonizing journey. They lost track of how many late nights were spent in the ministry’s libraries, of how many impromptu ceremonies and feverish recitations had been done. Omega held Terzo tightly on many of those nights as his internal anatomy changed in agonizing ways to allow for a child to grow. Watching his mate suffer like that had nearly been enough to make Omega throw in the towel, but Terzo wouldn't let him give up. Deep down Omega knew that it was Terzo’s body and Terzo's decision to make, one that would be well worth it if they succeeded. It didn't make it any easier to witness, though. Guilt for putting Terzo through so much consumed Omega.

“Mia luce,” Omega whispered as he rocked Terzo in his lap, pushing a sweat-soaked strand of hair out of his lover’s face. Terzo’s arms were wrapped tightly around his middle, sucking in harsh breaths through his teeth. “We don't have to do this. I promise.” A ragged sob tore its way from Terzo's throat.

“Omega, please!” Terzo's voice was shaky and strained but resolute. “I want this...! I-I need… I ne–” his stammering was abruptly cut off by a pained hiss as he curled in on himself. Omega shushed him gently as he cried, unable to tell how much of Terzo’s pain was physical and what was born from sorrow. Omega felt that sorrow acutely, the empty spot in his heart transformed into an aching black hole ever since he allowed himself to hope they would get the family they had always dreamed of.

After the hardest of the work was done and they reached the point where conception was supposed to be possible, Omega felt a new type of anxiety: impatience. Their physical need for each other was powerful, insatiable, almost frantic at times. Each attempt felt like it could be the one, and every time it wasn't, the disappointment was palpable. Months went by. Test after test came back negative, and Omega wondered out loud if traditional pregnancy tests would even be useful in their case. They kept taking them anyway, clinging to the hope that they would see a second line. Omega felt restless, like he was waiting for something he felt in his heart would never come. It took everything in him not to fall into despair, to stay strong for his husband.

They were hopeful when Terzo began to feel fatigued and physically ill, but when still nothing happened, they chalked it up to stress and heartbreak. Good news eventually came in the form of an unexpected brush of a tiny, inquisitive tendril of quintessence against Omega's mind. Quintessence that felt eerily familiar, that originated from Terzo's body, but not from Terzo. Although they were both too afraid to believe they could be right, Omega couldn't stop his budding hope. It was a delicate kind of joy, one he knew could be extinguished and turned against him with the slightest passing breeze. The day between their discovery and the ultrasound that confirmed it was like living in limbo, but every second of suffering proved to be worth it.

They were getting their baby, a little girl. A quintessence ghoul kit. Their miracle… There was that word again, “miracle”. Omega didn’t care if that word wasn’t supposed to apply to beings like him, that was what their child was. A miracle. Neither of them could have communicated with words the cocktail of powerful and complex emotions they felt that first week, that first day. Certainly not for the first time, Omega was grateful that they didn't have to, that he could connect their inner worlds through the gifts of his element, of his quintessence—quintessence that he was passing on to a new generation.

After Terzo finally got pregnant, it was like a switch was flipped. The dark cloud that had followed them for months was lifted, replaced by giddy excitement. Intellectually Omega was worried about complications, about something happening, but the physical symptoms of his anxiety eased considerably. Taking over his senses instead were his instincts, Terzo's maddening pheromones hijacking his nervous system and affecting his own hormones. All he wanted was to be close to Terzo, to be touching him at all times, to breathe Terzo's scent and to possessively mark his mate as his . Suddenly he was too preoccupied trying to cuddle with Terzo to have time to be nervous. Being so hopelessly lovesick served as the perfect distraction, as did his drive to knit their daughter’s first wardrobe.

“Daddy loves you so much,” Omega would tell their kit out loud every day since the very first ultrasound, reinforcing the sentiment with his quintessence. As she developed and was able to communicate back wordlessly with increasing strength and complexity, he was awestruck to feel something that felt an awful lot like love being projected back at him—love for both of her parents. Love, and a pure, innocent trust. “I promise, I will always protect you,” he swore to her, needing to feel deserving of that love and trust. He prayed to anything that would listen that he could keep that promise.

It wasn’t until the birth of their kit was looming just around the corner that Omega’s anxiety made a true return.

Terzo was getting some much-needed rest the week before their due date, lying on his side with Omega’s face pressed to his bump. Omega knew he should be resting too, but sleep was eluding him; he was getting more nervous with each passing day. What Omega initially brushed off as excitement had morphed into fear, and he was so angry at himself for ruining his enjoyment of such a precious phase of their growing family with negativity. Allowing himself to be comforted by Terzo’s scent, he reminded himself that everyone he loved was safe, healthy, and protected.

“Protected by who? You failed Terzo before, what makes you think you’ll do any better this time?” Omega’s inner voice had been turning on him lately, whispering the worst things imaginable, determined to steal his joy. While there were records of half-ghoul conception, there were few remaining accounts of the resulting births, especially from birth parents with Terzo’s anatomy. Yes, they were planning on having a C-section, but what if something went wrong? What if he lost Terzo, what if they lost their kit? Could they lose their kit?

He realized with dawning horror that he had never even thought to consider the possibility of their daughter being mortal. If a ghoul’s body was damaged beyond repair, they would simply return to the pit. But now that he thought about it, he had no idea if a half-human ghoul would retain their immortality. He had been so consumed by his desire to have a kit with Terzo that he hadn’t given enough thought to the quality of life that child would have. “What if she dies? What if she dies, and because her father is an infernal being, she doesn’t have a soul? Do YOU have a soul? Ghouls aren’t meant to die! What if she’s just gone forever, like she never even existed? When they’re both gone, there will be nothing left of her but a screaming, gaping wound in your heart, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. You are selfish. You are a monster!” Omega was starting to hyperventilate, a scream caught in his throat as tears fell unbidden.

“What have you done?”

“Amore?” Terzo rasped, still half-asleep, reaching down to run his fingers through Omega’s hair, interrupting his spiral. It was only then that Omega noticed how shallow and loud his own breaths had become.

Omega looked up from where his head was resting against Terzo, his vision blurry. “Everything will be ok. I promise.” Omega couldn’t fight a watery smile, pressing a grateful kiss to Terzo’s belly as he worked to ground himself.

With Terzo’s support, Omega made it through the last week without another breakdown. Opening up about what he was struggling with wasn’t easy, but he wouldn’t let himself spoil the intimate, quiet peace they had been sharing. They had dreamed of this for too long to waste a second of the unique experience that was being first-time parents. Omega had come close to breaking down once more on the eve of the delivery, but even with the weight of the entire world on Terzo’s shoulders, his mate had saved him yet again. Omega knew he owed every single good thing in his life to Terzo, and he made sure to tell him as much.

Before he could process what was happening, there she was: a screaming, beautiful, definitely ghoulish baby girl, thrust into his waiting arms. He wondered how he had ever survived without her weight in them. He knew that he could never live without her again. Everything about her was a comfort, a balm for the soul—if he had a soul. There she was, after all this time, their precious Starlight. She was perfect. She shared Omega's purple-toned grey skin and snow-white hair, sporting pointed ears and a spaded tail, her horns following the same curves his did. He wondered idly how her little claws hadn't injured Terzo in the womb. She strongly favored Omega, her chin and cheekbones and lips a carbon copy of his, but she had Terzo's nose—a nose Omega adored so very much .

One thing worried him, though. It was those hauntingly beautiful eyes, one iris Terzo’s white, the other his own hue of violet reflected back at him. The only thing distinguishing her from a full-blooded ghoul was the fact that the whites of her eyes were, well… white. He’d never seen a ghoul with white sclera; ghouls’ eyes were distinct, irises set against a backdrop of inky blackness. Her eyes were so human. He loved them, he loved her. He could stare into her eyes forever. He was just so afraid that he wouldn’t get that opportunity.

Immediately after her birth, Primo performed the ritual to bind her to the mortal realm, insisting it was necessary to prevent her from being drawn to the pit. Ghouls were normally bound during their summoning, a standard procedure to keep them on Earth. The fact that binding was necessary on half-human ghouls, that she could travel between realms, should have assured Omega of her immortality, but it still wasn’t enough to ease his mind.

As much as he wanted that first week with their daughter to be nothing but bliss, it was at times tinged with agony. Omega felt like he was on a rollercoaster, going from the purest highs he’d ever experienced to the darkest of lows without warning, no matter how hard he tried not to fall. He was the happiest he had ever been, and that was terrifying—he had so much more to lose now. He did much better when Terzo was around, the light of his partner driving away even the darkest shadows. It was in the brief moments they were separated that the thoughts crept back in.

“ You’re going to lose your baby girl, Omega. Forever.”

Perhaps Omega was more clingy than he should have been with Starlight that first week, hogging her for more time than was fair to Terzo. Maybe he was avoiding connecting with Terzo through his quintessence, just a little, not wanting to give his mate a glimpse into his inner turmoil. Maybe sleep had become more of a memory than a reality… But Omega told himself that he was doing fine.

Omega managed to hold himself together for six days. On the seventh, Terzo was called away to attend to urgent business. It was only for a couple of hours, Copia said over the phone, but Terzo was still furious about being called away from his newborn for any amount of time while he was supposed to be on leave, needing time to bond and recover. Omega assured him that he could handle Starlight on his own, especially since it was naptime. Terzo reluctantly hurried out the door after giving them both a kiss goodbye. Omega did alright for a little while. He tried, he really did. The harder he tried to fight the worry, though, the more it consumed his thoughts. Sitting there with his Starlight, his baby, finally snuggled in his arms, such an unfathomably cherished gift, he still couldn’t get out of this awful headspace. Even with his lips pressed to her precious little head, comforted by her newborn smell, all he could think about here at the beginning of her life was the potential end of it. What was wrong with him?!

Trying to use the skills he’d been working on for years now, he took deep, slow breaths, focusing on identifying sensory input. Every single coping technique he employed was undone in an instant when he felt Starlight’s tiny clawed hand grasp one of his fingers, gripping tightly. He lost it, beginning to sob when their eyes met. Those beautiful eyes… The crying didn’t stop until Terzo called him nearly an hour later, letting him know he would be home soon and asking if they were ok. Omega tried his best to disguise the pain in his voice, hoping he was successful. By that point, Starlight had long since fallen asleep, blissfully unaware of her father’s torment. Carefully he placed her in the bassinet by their bed, settling down himself and reading a book. Well, trying to read a book. Pretending to read a book, really. When Terzo got home, he knocked on their bedroom door before entering. That should’ve been Omega’s first sign that he’d been found out, but he tried to remain hopeful. One look at Terzo’s expression shattered that illusion: Terzo’s face was soft and gentle, but deeply lined with concern. Shit.

“Mia ombra,” Terzo started, approaching Omega like he was some stray cat that Terzo was trying not to scare off. “Omega.” There was the hand on Omega’s leg. “Please tell me what is going on. You…” Terzo bit his lip for a moment. “You have not been acting like yourself this week.” Omega opened his mouth to protest—this was a very new experience for both of them, it was hardly fair to judge—but quickly thought better of it. Omega knew full well that something was wrong, he’d be an idiot to deny it. “I am worried about you…” The last part was nearly a whisper.

Omega’s explanation started off calm enough, but once he started talking about her eyes… When Omega’s voice rose and Starlight began to stir, Terzo led him into the living room, sitting them down on the couch and pulling Omega’s head into his lap. Omega was grateful that Terzo had the presence of mind to move them, because he was having a full-blown panic attack by the time he reached the end of his explanation. “Oh, mio dolce amore…” Terzo sniffled, voice thick with sorrow. “Omega… I am so sorry that you have been suffering through this alone. Please, mia ombra. Please tell me how I can help...” Omega was reeling from the last few hours, the last week , barely able to think straight and amazed that he had the strength to respond at all. Vitriol poured out of him towards his husband in a way that it never had before, and he regretted the words before they had even left his mouth.

“Unless you can save her, you can’t help me .” Omega’s hand flew to his mouth, shocked by what he’d just said, by the tone of his voice. He felt dizzy, gripping hard onto Terzo’s thigh for support as the world spun. Suddenly he sat bolt upright, sprinting for the bathroom as his stomach churned. He’d never felt so sick in his life. Terzo sat with him on the floor, pulling his unrestrained hair back into a bun for him and dabbing at his face with a cool washcloth as the world grew hazy. Omega came to in their bed with a throbbing headache, unsure of how Terzo managed to get him there. Distantly he heard Terzo’s voice in the other room, hushed and grave. Remembering his earlier worry, he sat up with a start and searched frantically around the room until his eyes fell on where his beloved Starlight was still sound asleep in her bassinet. Anxiously he watched for the rise and fall of her chest, not allowing himself to breathe until he saw it. It helped, but only a little. Acting on impulse, he carefully picked her up and cradled her in his arms before leaning back against the headboard. The comfort she brought him was worth the risk of waking her. When the door finally opened, Terzo seemed surprised at how he found them. He sat down on the bed next to them, the back of his hand pressed to Omega’s forehead.

“Mio caro, you need to rest…” The guilt in Terzo’s voice twisted Omega’s heart. What could Terzo of all people possibly have to feel guilty about? Then he remembered how he’d lashed out before, and suddenly he began to pick up on the care with which Terzo was moving, almost as though he were trying to avoid agitating him. His heart sank.

“Tersoro, I–” Omega started to reach for Terzo but quickly remembered the infant sleeping in his arms. “Terzo... I am so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” He was unable to look at his husband. Terzo moved closer to him on the bed, gently grabbing him by the chin and pulling Omega to face him. “It is ok…” Terzo’s face didn’t give the impression that it was in fact ok, but Omega trusted him to communicate what he needed, even if he did feel like a monster right now. “I called Primo.” Omega’s eyebrows shot up. “I… I told him about your concerns. About Star.” There went Omega’s heart again.

“What did he say?” Omega tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, in no small part because he didn’t know himself just what it was that he was feeling. Terzo rolled his eyes, and for a moment Omega worried that it was at him, but then Terzo clarified. “He called me an idiot. Said that I should have done my research before I–” Terzo cut himself off, but Omega could fill in the blanks with any number of crude and disrespectful things that Primo was likely to have said. “Anyway. He said that it is unlikely that Star is mortal, but that he would look into it. After I threatened him, anyway.” Omega allowed himself to breathe a tiny sigh of relief, to relax his muscles just a little. “I said we would be by tomorrow, but he said he needed more time than that.” Terzo’s hand found its way to Omega’s knee. “Are you alright?” Omega closed his eyes for a long minute, then nodded. “Yeah.” He didn’t know why he was lying to Terzo, of all people. To his mate, the father of his child, keeper of his whole world. But he couldn’t find it within himself to be so vulnerable again right now. That last thin remaining wall was all that was holding him together. He had to pretend, even to himself.

The next few days felt like an eternity to Omega. Terzo doted over him constantly, and Omega tried not to bristle at the attention—while he loved and appreciated his husband, he didn’t feel like he was deserving of sympathy. Guilt ate away at him for a multitude of reasons, ranging from his outburst to the fact that he feared he may have doomed his daughter. All he could do to get by was focus on the here and now, the exact moment he was in. He cherished every second he got with his little girl more than words could ever express. Terzo graciously allowed him to monopolize their time with her without protest.

When Primo finally called, Terzo and Starlight were asleep. Omega snatched up the phone before it could wake them. “Hello?” “Omega, is that you? Where is my brother, I dialed the correct number, yes?” Omega rolled his eyes at the doddering old fool, pinching the bridge of his nose. He did his best to maintain his composure. “What’s up? Terzo is asleep with Star right now, I’d rather not wake him up.” Omega tried to keep his tone firm, as he knew how insistent his brother-in-law could be. “Bah,” Primo scoffed. “Omega, I have important news.” Omega’s heart started to race. “I have been digging into the matter of your spawn.” Omega’s eyebrows shot up at the word, protest on the tip of his tongue, but Primo continued before he could object. “It is my firm belief that you are worrying over nothing. Every record that I have managed to locate has lauded the strength of ghoul genetics. Her ghoul blood is strong, by all accounts she should be just fine.”

“That’s all?” Omega was irritated. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but that wasn’t enough for him. “If half-human ghouls are immortal, surely there have to be a bunch of them out there, right?” “My dear brother-in-law, you are grossly overestimating ghoulish sexual prowess.” Primo’s jab would have almost sounded playful under any other circumstance, but right now it was insulting. Infuriating. Omega growled.

“Find one. I don’t care how you do it, just find one. I need to know that they’re ok.”

It took a few more days, but eventually Primo reported back that he had finally made contact with a half-human ghoul— and that they were over 400 years old. The relief Omega felt was immediate and profound. He calmed immensely, finally able to rest, to take his eyes off of his daughter for the briefest of moments.

Without his own nerves in the way, he realized just how anxious Terzo was as well, how tightly he clung now that he was allowed to. Omega let Terzo hog Starlight as much as he wanted; Omega figured it was only fair repayment for how he'd behaved during her first couple weeks of life. Being the voice of reason for a change felt nice, and he was grateful to be able to act as Terzo's anchor.

Terzo was sure of their daughter's immortality from the beginning, but he couldn't stand to be away from her; separation anxiety plagued him much like it had plagued Omega when Terzo returned to work following his resurrection. They sat together on the sofa one afternoon, Starlight's head tucked beneath Terzo's chin as he reclined, her eyes closed peacefully in slumber. Terzo closed his own eyes momentarily as he deeply inhaled, and Omega knew he was trying to memorize her scent.

“You know, tesoro, we are a mess.” Omega's tone was joking, trying to make light of their situation even if it wasn't funny. Terzo frowned.

“How so?” Terzo feigned confusion. Omega knew full well that Terzo understood what he'd meant, fixing him with a look. Terzo gave a small smile, quickly giving up the pretense. “It's only because we love our family so much.”

Getting there was tough, but soon they came to the realization that they needed to expand their support systems. “Mia ombra, you know that you are my everything, and that will never change. But we need to have other people in our lives to help us. I do not ever want to put the weight of my entire well-being solely on your shoulders.” Omega opened his mouth to protest, but Terzo cut him off. “I know that you could do it, but that is not fair to you. Amore mio, look at us. We have endured so much… It is only natural that we now have a lot of trauma to deal with, a lot to work through. I cannot do this without you, but I do not want to overwhelm you. Especially when you are struggling, too.” Terzo grabbed Omega's hand, squeezing tightly. “It is healthy to have more than one person to lean on. I have my brothers, but who is there for you? I worry about you.”

And so, Omega reluctantly decided to reach out to Alpha. For centuries they had been best friends, but when Omega began hooking up with—and quickly fell in love with—a human all those years ago, it drove a wedge between them. Alpha didn’t speak to him for months at first. It took Omega nearly getting caught with Terzo to mend the rift, with Alpha sticking his neck out to cover for Omega and saving him from banishment. Slowly Alpha grew to accept the relationship, and eventually he and Terzo even became friends, although begrudgingly at first on Alpha’s part. Even though Terzo had practically been raised by ghouls and was friends with nearly all of them at this branch of the ministry, Alpha didn’t trust him for some time. Terzo had to earn it.

Eventually Alpha accepted Terzo enough to agree to be on lookout duty during their private wedding ceremony in one of the ministry’s many gardens, attended by only the two betrothed. Although they had only been together for five years at that point, they knew with complete certainty that they never wanted to be apart. They were married over thirty years ago now, and Omega still got misty-eyed thinking about it.

When Terzo died, Alpha was the one to keep Omega going, making sure he was eating and often dragging him out of bed to report for duty. In the beginning when things were at their very worst, Alpha did Omega’s duties for him, trying his hardest to spare Omega from punishment. It didn’t always work, but Omega was in such a dark place mentally that he didn’t care what was done to him. He felt like he deserved all of it and so much more.

After Terzo returned, though, Omega only had eyes for his husband. For the first year he rarely even left their quarters, sequestering them away in their own private world. It was hard for Omega to tear himself away from Terzo after he thought he’d never see him again. In retrospect, though, he could have used the social interaction and support. They both could have.

When Omega finally felt safe being away from his mate for more than a few minutes after Terzo’s return, he reached out to Alpha, but… Unfortunately, it had been so long that the damage was already done; every time they’d hang out, things were awkward and stilted. At some point, their communication just… tapered off. Alpha attended their pregnancy announcement celebration along with Terzo’s brothers and the rest of the ghouls they were close with, but Omega noticed Alpha roll his eyes when they’d told the room the news. Alpha stayed silent all evening and left early without saying goodbye. He briefly visited the new family in the infirmary after Starlight’s birth—bringing Terzo flowers, to both of their surprise—but Omega could tell it was out of a sense of obligation. Initially Alpha didn’t respond to either of Omega’s texts. In a moment of vulnerability, Omega reached out a third time after almost a week of not hearing back. “Ok, I’ll cut the shit. I’m not doing so hot. I could really use someone to talk to.” It was a hard thing to admit, but Omega was fed up with dancing around the issue. They needed to fix this.

They met that same day in one of the courtyards, sitting at their old spot on a bench near the ministry’s large pond. Omega would be lying if said he wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Look, Alpha,” Omega started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know that we haven’t really been on the best terms lately, and… I know it’s my fault.” His eyes were fixed on the water, unable to look at the fire ghoul. “When Terzo came back, I acted like nothing else mattered or even existed but him, and that’s fucked up. That’s not fair to you. I’m an asshole.” “At least we agree on something.” There was a hint of mirth in Alpha’s voice that Omega took as a good sign.

“You’ve always been there for me. You’re my best friend. It’s important that I make time for you, the way you’ve always made time for me.” There was a long moment of silence between them. “A lot has changed over the last few years. I’ve got a family now… You’ve only seen Starlight once. I’d really like for her to know her uncle, Alpha.” “I’m not your brother, dude,” Alpha sneered, rolling his eyes. Undeterred, Omega chuckled and punched Alpha’s arm playfully. “Yeah you are, dumbass.” Omega surprised Alpha with a hug—not an awkward bro hug, a real, full-body bear hug. Alpha sputtered and squirmed, trying unsuccessfully to push the larger ghoul away. After a long moment, Omega finally let him go. Alpha’s expression was enraged, complexion flushed dark.

Omega made it a point from then on to prioritize their friendship again, reaching out via text on a daily basis and arranging for them to hang out once every week or so. Watching Alpha go from aloof and slightly disgusted, to intrigued and eventually enamored by Starlight was a treat. Alpha would never admit it, but his attachment was clear as day, even if he wasn’t the type to be outwardly affectionate. Oh yeah, that big ol’ softie was definitely her uncle; their shared love for the little ghoul did wonders to repair their bond.

While Omega’s anxiety surrounding Starlight’s immortality had eased significantly, it still wasn’t entirely gone. Intrusive thoughts still sometimes got the better of him, no matter how hard he worked to fight them off. It took an unfortunate ordeal a few months later to erase that last remaining doubt in his mind.

Omega was sitting on the floor leaning against the sofa, Terzo slotted between his legs with his back pressed against Omega’s chest. They were soaking in a moment of calm family bonding time, Starlight crawling across her pink blanket directly in front of them, happily playing with her toys. When the quiet was shattered by an ear-piercing screech, they both lunged for the screaming infant without thinking, Terzo reaching her first. At the sight of crimson blood running down Starlight’s arm, Omega snatched her from Terzo, frantically looking for a source. There in her wrist, just below her palm, was embedded a small piece of glass. Fuck!

Three days before, Omega had accidentally knocked over a cup and watched in slow motion as it shattered across the sitting room in what felt like a million pieces. Luckily Terzo had been feeding Starlight at the time, so she had been out of harm’s way. Omega thought he’d found all the shards, searching obsessively on his hands and knees with a flashlight and scanning the floor every time he walked through the room. He thought they were safe, and yet here their poor baby was, shrieking with glass in her arm, bleeding more than he was ever prepared to handle when it came to his child.

Frantic and acting on autopilot, Omega slid his shoes on and hurried out the door, headed straight for the infirmary, holding his shirt firmly to the wound in an effort to stop the bleeding. “Omega, wait!” Terzo called out after him, desperately trying to keep up, but Omega couldn’t stop, he needed to get help. When the receptionist in the infirmary saw the look of wild-eyed terror on Omega’s face, saw the blood on his shirt, she immediately hurried them to a room. Two ghouls in scrubs rushed in, attempting to take her from him, but Omega refused to relinquish her. They settled for examining her in his arms, and soon their looks of concern turned to expressions of confusion. It was then that Omega realized that she had long since stopped bleeding. She’d stopped bleeding and… the glass was just… gone. It must have fallen out at some point during their journey. Not only that, but the only sign that there had ever been a wound was the blood still staining her skin and Omega’s shirt. The doctor—a human—chose that moment to walk in, examining her briefly before giving Omega a reproachful, skeptical look. “Sir, we happen to be quite short-staffed at the moment. We would appreciate it if you didn’t come in for such minor injuries, especially when there's nothing we can do.” Omega saw red.

“What the fuck do you mean by minor?! Do you see all this blood?” Omega gestured wildly to the smears spattered across his shirt. The doctor’s brow furrowed. “With all due respect, sir, she is a ghoul. I understand that being a new parent is stressful, but you should know better than I do that it’d take a lot more than a little flesh wound to seriously injure her. She's already healed herself just fine on her own.”

“But she's also half-human! She was hurt , she was bleeding everywhere, she…” Omega trailed off, losing steam as relief took the place of panic. He took a moment to examine Starlight himself: she had stopped screaming and was instead quietly whimpering, looking frightened but otherwise fine. Omega wiped her remaining tears away with the back of his hand before pulling her close to his chest.

“In my professional opinion, she seems very much like a ghoul to me. The differences in her physiology are likely negligible.” The doctor sounded exasperated, but gave the impression that he was at least sympathetic. Terzo burst into the room, sweat beading on his forehead from his efforts to catch up to them. He grilled the doctor before he allowed them to be discharged, insisting on at least getting a set of vitals done on the little girl before they left. Everything was fine; Starlight was perfectly healthy, if not shaken up.

During their walk home, Omega’s knees began to feel weak, his body coming down from the massive rush of adrenaline that had just coursed through him. Terzo could tell that Omega was crashing and insisted on carrying Starlight the rest of the way. Although he didn’t want to let her go after the scare she’d given him, he reluctantly handed her over. Terzo made them dinner that night, knowing that Omega needed to rest. While Terzo was also stressed by their ordeal, Omega was taking it the hardest.

On the bright side, he supposed, now they knew for sure that she was immortal. Losing as much blood as she did would have been a serious event for any mortal infant, as she’d somehow been unlucky enough to nick her radial artery. While Omega would never wish harm on his child, he did take some comfort in finding out that she healed as quickly and efficiently as any full-blooded ghoul.

“Oh, my poor baby girl… Daddy is so, so sorry he let you get hurt. Please forgive me, my sweet little Star.” The request was genuine, as though she had the ability to deny him. Omega would accept her anger without protest, if she could yet harbor any. He felt like he deserved it. Starlight only babbled back at him. Terzo held Omega tightly that night, running his hands through Omega’s hair until he fell asleep, exhaustion quickly getting the better of him.

It wasn't until Starlight was about nine months old that they felt comfortable and confident enough to try for another baby. They always knew they wanted as large a family as they could realistically have. It took less than a year before Omega once again felt that familiar, innocent brush of quintessence against his own. Warmth bloomed through his chest, this time unafraid to trust what he knew to be true: their family was growing by another member.

Starlight was excited from the beginning, eager to step into her role as big sister. The precocious toddler had a special connection with their new kit from the first detectable spark of quintessence, communicating in ways that even Omega couldn’t. Starlight had always been an affectionate child, but now she was glued to Terzo, not wanting to be away from her Papa or her sister for a minute. Omega couldn't help but smile every time she would cling—she was such a Papa's girl.

“Papa, how much longer until Astrid gets here?” Starlight pouted as they all settled together into Omega and Terzo’s bed for nap time. “I want to play with my baby sister already!” “Mm, about two more months, la mia piccola stella. The same as when you asked me that yesterday,” Terzo chuckled as he settled down on his nest of pillows, taking a long minute to get comfortable. Omega swore there was a new pillow on their bed every time he counted. Starlight sighed dramatically but didn’t complain any further, instead curling up into Terzo’s side with her head resting on his rounded middle. Omega sat on Terzo’s opposite side, pulling out the educational book for new siblings they had been reading to her for the last week. The volume was on the longer side and targeted toward children slightly older than Starlight, but they knew she understood the material—she was very smart. Besides, she was taking being an older sister very seriously and had begged to be taught as much as possible before Astrid’s arrival. Who were they to deny her that?

Despite her interest in the book, Omega could see his daughter’s eyelids growing heavy when he glanced at her. After a moment she let out a big yawn and sat up to stretch before laying her head down in the crook of Terzo’s arm. She was fast asleep within a couple of minutes. Omega finished the page he was on before setting the book on the nightstand. When he turned back around, Terzo had a soft smile on his face. He lifted his free arm, indicating for Omega to snuggle into his other side. Taking naps as a family this way—with Terzo in the middle as their anchor—had become a staple part of their routine. Terzo always had been and always would be their anchor. “You know you are going to have to read all of that again for her when she wakes up, yes?” Terzo teased lightly, his eyes sparkling with affection. Omega couldn’t resist stealing a kiss, gentle and sweet, overflowing with love.

“That’s ok, it’s good for Astrid, too,” he cooed back as he fit himself against Terzo’s body, a large hand coming to rest on Terzo’s bump, rubbing slowly. Soon Terzo had fallen asleep as well. Omega allowed himself a moment of awe and appreciation for his little family before joining them in slumber.

Omega felt like his life couldn’t be any more perfect than it was right now. Paradoxically, that made him nervous—he had a hard time trusting good things after everything that they’d been through. Even through his bliss, Omega couldn't help but have unwanted worries about whether or not this kit would be different from their first, perhaps more human. More mortal. Her visible horns and tail on the ultrasound eased his fears, but he had become prone to catastrophizing since Terzo’s death. Knowing this about himself enabled him to talk himself down, as did confiding in his husband. Having a support system in Alpha and a small group of other ghouls now also proved to be massively beneficial for his mental health. Instead of allowing himself to spiral, Omega was able to enjoy this special time together as a family. Starlight's delight and excitement about her little sister was a privilege to share in, bonding them all closer together.

They were that much more caught off guard when tragedy struck one night.

Their second kit arrived prematurely, but was ultimately healthy and unharmed despite the traumatic circumstances surrounding her birth, requiring an emergency C-section to save Terzo’s life. Omega reminded himself that her safety was the most important thing, which was true. While they were now all but sure of the girls’ immortality, no one was willing to put it to the test.

But Terzo… Terzo came closer to being lost again than anyone could have expected—a devastating complication led to him needing extensive emergency medical care. For a short while, he did in fact die on the operating table. Were it not for Primo's dark intervention pulling Terzo back to the realm of the living, Omega was certain their children would have lost a parent.

It took weeks for Terzo to fully recover, and even longer to feel normal again. He wouldn’t talk about what he had experienced in those agonizingly long minutes. Omega could see how deeply affected he was by what had happened in the almost desperate way Terzo clung to their children. Terzo was in awe of Astrid, sobbing when he first held her. Terzo also cried when he saw Starlight again for the first time in nearly four days, holding her tightly and trying to hide his tears from her.

Omega did everything he could to support Terzo through his trauma, doing his best to hide his own suffering. The birth had scarred them both, and due to the damage done to Terzo's body, the surgical interventions needed to save his life… they wouldn't have been able to have more children even if they decided to take the risk. They mourned that loss together, taking extra care to cherish the family that they already had. Their girls were and always would be enough.

For months afterward, Terzo struggled with sleeping. Knowing this, Omega did his best to step in every time one of the girls began to fuss, not wanting his mate to be disturbed when sleep did find him. Omega had his own lingering sense of dread and impending doom after Terzo's infirmary stay, but he kept it to himself, even though he knew that wasn’t healthy. It wasn't until their oldest inadvertently reopened the wound that they finally let that last wall crumble.

“Daddy, when am I going to get another baby brother or sister?” Starlight asked with a yawn as she was being tucked into bed. Omega’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t need to see Terzo behind him to know that he’d gone stiff. As soon as Terzo leaned over to give a sleeping Astrid a kiss on the forehead in her crib, he turned and left. Starlight didn’t seem to notice that anything was wrong. “Well, princess…” Omega started, unsure of how to broach such a loaded subject. “I don’t… I don’t think you will.” Starlight frowned, opening her mouth to protest, but Omega cut her off before she could. “It’s not that we don’t want to have more children... Do you remember when Astrid was born, when Papa was in the infirmary and you had to go stay with Uncle Secondo?” Starlight nodded, listening intently. “Papa was there because he… got hurt. He got hurt badly enough that he can’t have any more children.” Omega watched as Starlight’s eyes grew wide.

“Is Papa ok?” The little girl’s voice was hushed. Omega nodded, allowing his eyes to fall closed for a moment. “Yes. Papa is ok, I promise. But Star, Papa is very sensitive about this. It upsets him to think about it, it was a hard thing to go through.” Pausing momentarily to swallow his emotions, he swept a strand of hair out of Starlight’s face. “I need you to know that you and Astrid are more than enough for me and Papa. You will always be enough. Okay?” Starlight thought Omega’s words over for a moment. “Okay, Daddy.” Starlight grabbed one of Omega’s large hands in both of her own, squeezing. “I love you.” Omega always felt lightheaded when he heard those words from his impossible child, unable to believe that this was really his life now. That he could be so incredibly lucky. “I love you too, little Star.” Omega tried not to speed through her bedtime story in his need to comfort Terzo; it wasn’t her fault she hit a nerve. The short walk to his and Terzo’s bedroom felt like it took far longer than it should; Omega’s heart was in a vice grip as he heard the sound of Terzo’s sniffling from down the hall. Cautiously he opened the door, not wanting to disturb his husband’s delicate emotional state. When Omega sat down on the bed beside where Terzo was hunched over, Terzo slumped to lean heavily on the ghoul. Wrapping a strong arm around Terzo's trembling frame, Omega pulled his husband tightly against his body. “Mia luce, she didn’t mean anythi–” Omega started, but he was cut off. “I know she didn’t,” Terzo muttered. “That is why it hurts more. She just wants another sibling, and I cannot give her that.” Omega laid them both down on the bed and tucked Terzo’s head under his chin. “I almost died, amore… I did die. I died, and it felt like I was lost forever, like I’d never come back.” Terzo tightened his grip on Omega’s shirt, desperately clinging. “And the worst part is that I would do it all over again if it meant we could grow our family. I would do anything for our children. But I cannot even do that, no matter how much I sacrifice.” The last part was nearly a whisper.

Omega’s insides twisted—he never pushed Terzo to talk about the agonizing minutes he’d been dead yet again after Astrid’s birth, but he so often wondered what happened to him. Omega had never been so scared in his life, never experienced such panic and despair as when he thought their girls had lost their father. But as rough as that experience was on him, he knew it was nothing compared to what Terzo must have endured. He wasn’t sure if he should be kicking himself for not pushing Terzo to talk about it before now.

“Please don’t say that, tesoro… Our family is already complete. Our children need their Papa, not more siblings.” A hand rubbed soothingly up and down Terzo’s back. “I know that you weren’t ready to stop. I know.” A hiccup from Terzo rang out. Once he was calm enough to speak, Terzo opened up about his experience during Astrid’s birth, finally letting Omega see what had been haunting him.

Time flows differently in the pit, so when Terzo said he felt like he was lost forever, Omega believed him. Since his first return from death, he and Omega made a habit of routinely practicing meditation together, working on growing closer to finding inner peace. Often Omega would use his quintessence to guide and shape Terzo’s experience, talking and working through trauma together. As much as Omega hated to think about it, Terzo was still mortal. Some day he would die again, this time for good. Omega refused to leave him unprepared, to let him flounder on his own. Even when Omega found him in the pit—and Omega would go with him this time—there was no telling how much unnecessary anguish Terzo would experience before he could be reached. Unless he was prepared. Unless he was at peace. Suddenly being ripped away from your newborn and three-year-old was certainly not peaceful. Terzo relayed to Omega countless horrific scenes of his family being left without him he'd endured, of not being able to be there for his girls or to protect them. As much as he knew Terzo needed to rest, Omega knew he needed to get this experience off his chest more. The more he listened, the more guilt he felt for not pushing harder for Terzo to talk about this earlier. Terzo was suffering for all this time, unable to properly process or work through it.

And… As grim as it was to think about preparing for the death of an otherwise healthy loved one, Omega realized with growing horror just how bad it would have been if Terzo had been permanently taken from him in this state of mind. It probably wasn’t healthy for Omega to have thoughts like that, to let fear of the inevitable invade his daily life, but Omega could navigate the pit just fine on his own. He wanted to help ease Terzo's burden, to make it easier for him. All that mattered was making sure Terzo wouldn’t suffer, no matter Omega’s own personal toll. Anxiety had been Omega’s constant companion for years—he would live with it forever if he had to. It was the cost of loving a mortal, of loving that which would die. Omega would gladly pay whatever was demanded of him in exchange.

Determined to make sure that Terzo would never suffer in the pit again, Omega doubled down on his efforts to help Terzo achieve inner peace. They made meditating together a daily ritual rather than something they did a few times a week, making time for it no matter what else they had going on. Emotions flowed freely between the two, both verbally and through Omega’s quintessence—there would be no more suffering in silence. They practiced being open with their feelings, teaching their girls to do the same. Starlight and Astrid grew up surrounded by love, unafraid to speak their hearts and minds. Their parents made sure of that.

Not yet ready to return to work after everything they’d been through, Terzo put his foot down and stayed home for nearly a year. It was only by pure luck that he got to witness Starlight’s first steps and first words, and Omega knew that Terzo deeply regretted missing any of that first year of Starlight’s life due to his ministry duties. The ministry meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, anything they wanted from him could wait. When he did return, it was in a mostly part-time capacity. Their baby girls were more important than anything else, in any realm.

As the children reached school age, they began attending lessons with a group of around thirty other children who lived within ministry walls. It wasn’t comprehensive, but it did give them much-needed social interaction and structure. Omega helped to fill in the educational gaps at home, finding that he loved teaching even more than he loved learning.

When the girls were eight and five, they learned about the harsh reality of discrimination against ghouls for the first time in the form of bullying and physical assault. Despite the best efforts of their parents to shield them, Omega and Terzo couldn’t hide the extensive history of ghoul oppression and subjugation that had only very recently come to an end. Neither of them took their lesson lightly, and Starlight, in particular, felt a fire lit within her that day. She was going to see to it that ghouls and humans were treated equally, and she wasn’t afraid to say so. Her parents believed in her with all of their hearts despite desperately wanting to keep her safe.

Inspired by his daughter, Omega vowed to help Starlight on her mission. He was done sitting back and letting his fellow ghouls be treated like shit so long as it didn’t directly affect him, and frankly, he was ashamed that it took his daughters being impacted to fight for change. That was the day Omega decided to begin volunteering at the ministry’s makeshift school, taking on as many roles and responsibilities as they would let him. Soon he was doing his part in teaching and shaping all of the ministry’s children, ghoul and human alike.

Where Starlight was boisterous and outspoken, Astrid was softer and more reserved. While those close to her would certainly never describe her as quiet, people had to be close to her to see her come out of her shell. Only those she trusted were let in enough for her to relax. Her family and friends knew her for the gentle, compassionate, quick-witted soul that she was. The girls both loved books, but Astrid loved to read. Reading was her second favorite activity behind spending time with her family.

The girls truly were each other’s first and best friends. Starlight had been in love with her little sister since before they ever met face-to-face, and that love never waned. Starlight acted like a protective mother hen, Astrid her chick, always trying to step in and take care of her. Omega and Terzo often needed to gently remind Starlight that they were Astrid’s parents, not her. Their connection was instinctual and effortless. They fought like all siblings did from time to time, but they were always quick to make up. Although they shared a bedroom, the biggest issue it caused was having enough space for all of their stuff—being as spoiled as they were, they ran out of room quickly. Their parents had to get creative when it came to storage. From hunting frogs and bugs to building pillow forts, Astrid would follow Starlight anywhere—and Starlight took that responsibility very seriously.

When the girls were both old enough, Omega and Alpha started taking the girls fishing in the pond on ministry grounds. It served as good bonding time for both the friends and for the girls with their uncle. Alpha was always less delicate with Omega's children than he would like—often slinging them over his shoulder or roughhousing with Starlight—but there was no denying that they loved it, that they loved him, and he loved them in return . It warmed Omega’s heart to see his children surrounded by so much love, and to have his oldest friend be a part of their lives. Copia kept the pond clean and stocked with enough fish that they could’ve eaten what they caught, but Astrid always insisted that they throw their catches back promptly. “Please don’t hurt the fishies, Daddy,” little Astrid had tearfully begged the very first time they’d managed to reel something in. There was no way he could’ve told her no, no matter how much Alpha grumbled.

By the time the girls were ten and seven, the ministry had finally created glamour magic artifacts that didn’t require the wearer’s face to be covered—for centuries, the only way ghouls could mingle with outsiders was to be bound by a mask. It would temporarily transform their bodies into human form, but they were purposefully designed to be conspicuous so there was no way to blend in. It was how the band toured, but off-stage, they had very little freedom to move around. The new artifacts were simple pendants, worn around the neck.

Terzo had been on them relentlessly to create something better for years, wanting his children to experience the outside world. Now that they finally could, they took trips outside the ministry walls together in increments, starting small and working their way up. Omega wasn’t prepared for the way he got so choked up doing something as simple as grocery shopping in the human world with his family. He and Terzo even finally got to go out on a date for the very first time. Together. In public. Omega never ceased to be amazed at how wonderful his life was. He often worried that he was dreaming, but he had Terzo there to talk to about it and keep him grounded.

Before either of their parents were ready, it was time for the girls to start dating. The day that Starlight brought home her first girlfriend, Terzo bit his nails down so badly that his fingers were left a bloodied mess. Omega was a little sad to see their children grow up so fast, but he knew they would be ok, he trusted them to stick up for themselves and each other— especially Starlight. Terzo, on the other hand, was the definition of over-protective. “So, who is this enchanting young lady?” Terzo put on his most dazzling smile for the ghoul sitting on the sofa next to Starlight as he leaned imposingly against the doorframe. Starlight glared up at him, knowing he was up to no good; her eyes darted back and forth between Terzo and Omega, silently begging her Daddy to do something. Omega just chuckled—oh, there was no way he was getting caught up in this one.

“Hi, s-sir… um, M-Mister Emeritus?” their guest stammered. Terzo’s smile grew. He grilled the girl about her hobbies and interests, her family, her ambitions… By the time he was bringing up her astrological chart, Starlight cut him off.

“Ok Papa, I’m glad that you two were able to talk, but we really have to go now! We promised Ash that we’d be over at 7.” Starlight kissed both of her parents on the cheek and rushed her new girlfriend out the door.

Omega turned to face Terzo, thoroughly amused. All pretense had melted away—Terzo was clearly fuming.

“Well, I can see that you’re not happy, but I thought she was a lovely girl,” Omega said nonchalantly as he wrapped an arm around Terzo’s waist. Terzo’s eye twitched, but Omega cut off the rant he could feel coming with a kiss to Terzo’s lips. Terzo made a surprised sound and started to push Omega away, but he quickly melted and began to kiss back. Terzo scared off many a potential partner, but Omega never took it very seriously; they would have to be strong enough to withstand the intensity of their family if they wanted to stay, after all. The way Omega saw it, Terzo was just weeding out the weak ones.

Then there was the matter of Terzo aging—or rather, not aging. At least, not the way he was supposed to. None of the returned brothers did. Being resurrected after so long in the pit the way he was all those years ago had changed Terzo. It had changed his brothers, too. Their aging slowed drastically, their longevity extending far beyond what they had any precedent for. Omega became suspicious when he realized that, thirteen years after his resurrection, Terzo looked just as young and beautiful when he walked down the aisle during their vow-renewal ceremony as he did the day he returned to the realm of the living. Terzo wasn’t exactly… young, no, but he certainly didn’t appear any older. Those suspicions were confirmed when twenty years passed and Primo was not only alive, but still spry and sharp as ever.

Primo speculated that the work Omega and Copia did, the deals they made to bring the brothers back, broke their covenants with God. No longer bound by God’s punishment of shortened lifespans for the sins of their forefathers, they were able to experience human life as was recorded in the Old Testament. But no one knew how long that would last. Omega’s anxiety grew as Terzo eventually began to visibly age, but it was so slow that it was nearly imperceptible. Terzo stopped dying his hair when an overjoyed Starlight saw a white strand on her father’s head for the first time and pointed out that they matched.

“Papa! You have hair like me! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Starlight squealed, not noticing Terzo’s deep flush of embarrassment. Omega found Terzo’s salt and pepper look exceedingly handsome, even if it was a scary reminder of the passage of time. He reminded Terzo every day of just how beautiful he was.

Starlight’s love for music started with Terzo immersing her in musical theater from a very young age, and she was putting on full productions with her Papa and sister from the time she was five onwards. As a preteen, she showed interest in learning to play rhythm guitar like her Daddy. She picked it up with supernatural speed, learning to play in both ghoul and human form.

Astrid had always had a natural talent for healing, able to use her quintessence to block pain and induce a state of calm, even facilitating and speeding recovery. She became fascinated with medicine early on, and before they knew it, she was sixteen and begging to be allowed to intern at the infirmary. After a lot of discussion, they agreed. Terzo was hesitant, wanting to keep her away from the harsh nature of normal human mortality, but Omega reminded him that most ghouls born at any other point in history would’ve seen unspeakable horrors by this age during their summonings. Astrid was doing something good not only for herself but for those around her. Besides, it’s not like she was leaving home.

Unfortunately, Starlight was leaving home, not long after Astrid began her internship. She joined the Ghost project, wanting to get her foot out into the world and put her skills to the test. It was hard on everyone, but especially Astrid. She'd never lived without her big sister before. Their first round of goodbyes was drawn out and painful.

Both girls ended up moving a handful of times, with Starlight touring before moving to a couple of different ministry locations. The sisters even spent a year together in Poland, leaving Omega and Terzo as true empty nesters. To say that it was difficult for the couple was an understatement. Inevitably though, their children always returned home, their reunions with their parents made even sweeter by their time apart. Omega and Terzo couldn’t bring themselves to touch their room, always leaving it exactly the way the girls left it. Their daughters knew they would always have a home to return to if they wanted it. Sometimes they took their parents up on that offer. And so, their bedroom stayed a perfect time capsule of their teenage years.

Inevitably change came, this time in the form of their first grandbaby. Starlight and her wife Juniper welcomed their first and only child, a beautiful little ghoul named Estella. Overjoyed wouldn’t have begun to cover how the new grandparents were feeling, but transforming the girls’ old bedroom into a playroom for their granddaughter was bittersweet. They encouraged Starlight and Astrid to take home whatever they wanted, carefully packing up the rest and putting it in storage. While they were putting things away, they remembered their treasure trove of saved baby items, ranging from toys to clothes and books. Now fully stocked, their playroom was ready to go. Omega gleefully knit as much for his granddaughter as he could get away with, even though Starlight insisted on handing down as many of her old clothes her Daddy made her as possible. He started with making a baby blanket.

Most important to all of them was the matter of the cherry wood crib, ornately carved with a heart design by Omega himself before Starlight’s birth. He always hoped it would become a family heirloom, and now it was happening. Starlight cried when she received it, promising to take good care of it.

Omega and Terzo cherished being grandparents, being the first to hold Estella after her mothers, tearful and reverent. Omega knew it was wrong, but he was secretly glad that Starlight hadn’t married a human—he didn’t know how he was expected to carry on living forever with the loss of a grandchild, were they mortal. It took Omega a week and no small amount of prodding to admit those feelings to Terzo.

A few years after their first grandchild, they were blessed with another, and then another, only two years apart. This time it was Astrid’s turn, welcoming babies Orion and Jupiter into the world with her husband Aero. Astrid, too, cried when she received the crib, this time from her sister. She insisted on giving her own baby blanket, which she’d held onto for her entire life and taken with her during every move, to her firstborn. Omega was given free rein to knit for the second.

For more than a century together, their lives were as close to perfect as anyone could ask for.

—

Their family of six adult quintessence ghouls, forever bound by unconditional love to one exceptional human, surrounded Terzo on the day he took his last breath. Their great-grandchildren were too young to be in attendance, but they'd all said their goodbyes. “It’s ok, Papa. We’re ready. ” Astrid soothed her father, but she didn’t need to: Terzo was peaceful and serene, clear and aware but accepting. They had all prepared for this day for a long time. One hundred and seventy-three years was a long time for a human to live, and the whole family made it a point to live every day with meaning, never knowing how much longer they would all be together on the mortal plane. Not until today.

“We’ll see you soon,” Starlight assured Terzo, kissing him on the forehead. Omega wasn’t sure who needed the reassurance more, Terzo or himself. Every family member had a hand laid on Terzo, every mind extended towards him, quintessence enveloping the man in love and tenderness. Astrid ensured he felt no pain, using her unique abilities as a healer to numb him even if she couldn’t fix him. Terzo nodded, allowing his eyes to fall closed. Omega lifted one of Terzo’s frail hands to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to his papery skin. He tried not to think about how soon Terzo’s touch would grow cold with the type of chill Omega couldn’t ease away with his own burning warmth.

Even as Terzo began to slip, he never let go of his hold on Omega, their hands and minds interlocked. It wasn't a cling, but rather an offer of comfort, an expression of love. Of course Terzo would support him up until the very end, projecting warmth and affection back at Omega even as he was fading.

Omega knew when Terzo was gone. He sat with his husband until morning regardless, unable to pull himself away just yet. His family gave him privacy, and he was grateful for it.

Terzo’s funeral was private and small, the last of his brothers to go. Unable to pick just a few snapshots to commemorate their life together, there ended up being dozens of photos of Terzo and their family displayed. The main memorial photo was one of him and Omega together on the day of their vow renewal, over a century ago at this point in Terzo’s blessedly extended lifespan; it still hadn't been enough time… Omega was told that it was customary to only have the departed pictured in that particular image, but Omega insisted that Terzo would want it that way. To not be separated from his husband even in remembrance. What Omega didn’t say was that in many ways, this was his funeral too—he felt like he died when Terzo did. He may as well have. His children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were his only joy, his only solace. His only reason not to immediately abandon the mortal realm and follow after his mate.

A month after losing Terzo, Omega was on the floor of their sitting room surrounded by photo albums and their hundreds of love letters to each other, all spread out around him. He had no idea what day it was, no sense of time left anymore. Dimly he heard a knock at the front door to his and Terzo's chambers, but it didn't register to him as anything other than a distant sound.

Before he knew what was happening he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Blearily he looked up, greeted by the concerned face of his oldest daughter. She knelt down in front of him, getting on his level.

”Daddy,” Starlight said gently as she cupped Omega's unshaven face with one hand. Omega stared at her blankly with tired eyes, rubbed raw from what felt like countless weeks of tears. In that moment he knew unequivocally that his efforts to hide the depth of his pain from his family had been in vain. His daughter's eyes were full of pity, and it stung to the core to be looked at that way by his child.

“We're worried about you… No one has seen you in almost three days, that's not like you.” Indeed it wasn't—they always saw their family on a near-daily basis, making a point of spending as much time together as possible. “This isn't any sort of life… Certainly not one that Papa would be ok with you living.” She cleared her throat then in what seemed to Omega like an effort to mask a barely repressed sob.

“Papa wanted me to look after you, he didn't want me to abandon our family. I need to be here,” Omega weakly protested, but he could tell Starlight wasn't having it.

”Daddy, you haven't even washed the sheets since Papa passed.” Omega winced at being called out, but dammit, it was true. He couldn't bring himself to get rid of that remaining comforting trace of Terzo’s presence. Couldn't admit that Terzo was never coming back to bed. Not even to himself. Omega could only sleep if he could smell him, could pretend he was just in the other room. Even if it was just for a minute. She grabbed his hand, squeezing firmly.

“When Papa asked you to stay with us, he didn't know it would be like this... I promise you're not doing wrong by him by going to find him. We all want you to be happy. And you know it wouldn't be goodbye, we'll all be together again one day, when we're ready to leave the mortal realm. We just have more work to do here.” She paused, biting her lip as she floundered to find the right words—if there really were the right words for telling your father to leave you behind. “Besides, you're no good to anyone like this anyway.” Her soft smile was genuine as she playfully punched his arm, but a tear escaped, giving her away.

Saying goodbye to his family wasn’t easy, even if he knew they would eventually be reunited. They just… weren’t ready to leave, and Omega couldn’t begrudge them that. Their family was actively spearheading the fight to keep ghouls on equal footing with humans, with the hopes of eventually integrating them into human society. Starlight in particular made it her mission to ensure that no ghoul would ever be summoned to be subjugated and abused by a human ever again. Omega's heart was overflowing with pride.

But Omega was languishing without Terzo. He would have stayed, if they’d asked him to. He absolutely would have. But they knew he would never be ok without his husband by his side. After many tearful goodbyes, they began the ritual. Omega closed his eyes and let the siren song of the pit finally call him home. He was prepared to look far and wide, but he didn’t have to look at all. After his eyes adjusted and he got to his feet, Omega spotted him. One blink and they were face to face. Terzo’s expression was serene, his eyes full of mirth and affection. With tremendous relief, Omega got confirmation that Terzo was at peace during this, his final stay in the pit.

Omega would recognize his beautiful dark prince anywhere, at any age. “You know I’ve thought you were gorgeous this whole time, right, tesoro?” He reached out to cup Terzo’s cheek, now smoother, younger. Terzo felt warm and welcoming, exactly as he should. “You were as enchanting the day we said goodbye as you were the day we met.” Indeed, Terzo had chosen to present himself to Omega the very same way he looked when they’d first locked eyes, down to the cassock he was wearing.

“We have never said goodbye, amore mio,” Terzo chuckled before their lips met. “We do not know how.”

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