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itsdappleagain · 1 year

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CS WEEKLY: The Hot Rocks of Rio Caper Part 1

WOW am I late on these ones- almost a month behind. Oops. Finals season and being sick and all that. I’m getting these guys done on a plane…lets hope there aren’t too many typos w/out wifi. Alright- here we go with the Hot Rocks of Rio Caper (part 1)!

I actually adore this episode. This season is where we really get the ball rolling!! Like I said, we sort of have the formula and introduction out of the way and we can really start playing now >:)

Also some great capture scenes at the end/start of the two episodes

This is such a beautiful opening sequence. I LOVE that Carmen here is an unreliable narrator. That’s not something a lot of kid’s shows often do (I think b/c they think kids won’t be able to pick up on the fact that something they were shown was fake) but since then TOH has done it as well. It’s just a great look into Carmen’s mindset and it immediately sets the premise for the rest of the season (/show?) concerning looking for Carmen’s mother.

Pls she did poor young Shadow-san so dirty- she doesn’t remember him that young so I guess she just figured he had this super spindly beard/mustache combo which I find hilarious

LIL BABY CARMEN AND DADOWSAN…I know it isn’t real but damn is that cute

It’s also great to see Carmen be thrown so off-kilter by the S1 finale. It’s fantastic consequence to the whole…mother figure tried to murder me but she never saved me in the first place/guy who has sucked most of my life was the one who cared most of all the whole time scenario she uncovered

Le Chevre gets his casual wear!! Out of Carmen’s original classmates I think Antonio is the only one who doesn’t have a civilian disguise (until the taco truck)

I love this scene- its such a fun dynamic between Carmen and Player, plus it gives us a little insight into how they plan their capers. Carmen shrinking against the wall and putting her hood up, sneaking around- it shows that she isn’t always so bold and that she knows how to be subtle (ish- the red hoodie is a bit of a giveaway) when she needs to be.

(Side note- as I write this I’m technically in casual cosplay for Carmen’s outfit here with the red hoodie. I love wearing it!!)

CARMEN PUN UNAPPRECIATOR

After all these years….we’ve found Carmen AND Waldo

Carmen really is off her game here, even before she starts hallucinating. Right is the ONLY way Bowtie could have gone with that little disappearing trick- Carmen should know, considering all the lightpost/bus/whatever disappearances she pulls off with the same method.

The first time I watched this episode I didn’t notice that Carmen picked up two but only handed back one. Cool little trick she did

That shifty side-to-side look Bowtie does is always so funny to me

The way its only been a week are you kidding me. She got DEMOLISHED in that basement she was struggling to BREATHE a week ago she should NOT BE BACK IN ACTION

Also its been a week and the faculty are STILL asking Brunt about stuff wheeze

I do like the visuals, though- usually the faculty are all seated and stationary, but Brunt is pacing and Mael is faced away from her, standing and looking out the window (btw thats a window???). Cleo and Bellum are seated like normal, going through the regular rounds, but the positioning shows the suspicion of both Brunt and Mael.

RIP maelstrom asking brunt if she killed shadowsan and hid the body the tv-y7 was never good enough for you

Im just imagining shadowsan going “your tracksuit is an ugly piece of shit”

Maelstrom is actually using a great manipulative tactic here- offering a mitigating factor with maybe some disagreements. He isn’t going all the way- still accusing her. But he’s offering her something to latch onto if she wanted to confess to a murder

Damn it seems like in this show you DO betray family

Do they even get the chance to accept/deny calls or see caller ID or could the police just call them and it would just patch through with no choice. Do they have a phone number

Why are maelstrom’s eyes kinda pretty though 😳

Damn

Julia’s head is so round

Not julia using the mints like smelling salts im CRYING i love her so much

The despair music only starts when chase doesn’t respond to “LA FEMME ROGUE” and i think that is SO FUNNY its not supposed to be but the comedic timing of the sad music and the zoom on devineaux’s face is so

“We need you” weak, unsupported, will immediately be proven wrong as julia takes the reins and SLAYS this season on her own

“And we need you to tell us that she did not do this to you” STRONG, SLAY, IN CHARACTER, DEVINEAUX DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER ITS ALL ABOUT JULIA TRUSTING CARMEN TO THE VERY END

Btw why is his heart going so fast

This show could have flourished even more without the tv-y7 rating. Player definitely thinks Shadow-san is going to capture or kill her, but Carmen trusts Shadow-san, which is why she looks so horrified near the end when Shadow-san “betrays” her

CS AU where carmen is the daughter of elon musk SAD

Were they just standing there staring at him or what

Where is his heart monitor attached

That wild boars searching for truffles speech? I was sick a couple weeks back and I FELT that

The zoom into the pupil flashback thing was cool

This show and its ability to make ANYTHING child friendly always astounds me. The seven year olds are going to be like “can we go to Carnevale mommy?? Can we go to Oktoberfest??”

Oh my god.

Brazil nut

I JUST GOT THAT JOKE BRAZIL NUT

“Ahh the favelas” that line plays in my head so often i dont know why

Thank god for carmen sandiego now i know how to say “no thank you” in portuguese

ITS OVER LE CHEVRE I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

What experience does chase have with the backside of a reptile and why does he think shadowsan looks like tortoise butt

Look at that fabulous cross-hatching from agent jawline he’s got some talent yas

We came this close to having to witness chase devineaux with no pants

SAD. oh well NOW WE GET THE JULIA SEASON THANK GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

Does el topo’s VA voice the shady gem expert

We love autistic zack

I LOVE ZACK that was a fantastic joke about the bride

Zack just stealing from the guy and giving it back to him is so funny im crying

Love how julia was just chilling in the hospital. Actually shows that she really does care- wanted to make sure he was okay

OR THE HOOD OF HIS CAR

JULIA IN THE ACME SUIT. SO HOT. ALSO AGENT ZARI PARTNERSHIP. NEUTRAL LEVELS OF HOT

The tourists watching some random lady watching their baby with binoculars: 👁️👄👁️

I also love the silent acting they animated with Carmen here- she drops the binoculars, looks up like ???, looks again, sees that the binoculars were not the only thing tripping, and shakes her head with a smile. Its a really cool little moment with no dialogue

Imagine if they had that exchange in new york city and ivy was like “the big apple aint the apple of my eye, if you know what I mean! The streets just keep goin’ forevah!!” like yes you two are in a residential area this is how cities work

The children just aggressively leaning towards him and then walking away

Le chevre just wants to live his furry dreams be nice to him

Yeah DAMN the character acting on carmen is good this episode. Next episode too actually

The tourists watching some random lady change clothes in the middle of the Christ the Redeemer statue area and then jump off a cliff: 👁️👄👁️

They actually animate carmen pulling the zip cord to release the glider again!!! I love when they do that

Yeah someone else said props to le chevre for finally recognizing them and hard agree its only like the fourth time

So if its not a disguise why were you confused about carmen. Being able to see who you were

That family is so chill about two strangers running through their house the kid is just like. Damn bitch keep staring i guess and then plays with her dolls some more

She doesn’t even look around the house

ALSO OUGH SHE’S SO FRUSTRATED I LOVE WHEN SHE GETS MAD ABOUT SHIT you are not immune to having emotion she is just THROWING herself around that house she is MAD

Not only is that the chillest family ever its the nicest one too. My god they even followed her to ask if she was okay and invited her to eat with them

THE LITTLE KID IS SO CUTE THO

Shadowsan: locks zack and ivy in a bucket

Carmen: SSHSHHLURRPP

Wait omg i forgot she eats here this is like one of two times she eats ever

The family is so sweet I love them they’re so. They’re so

“It is safe” sir I really hate to break it to you but there is an illegal mining operation on the next street over

SHE HAD THE HAT ON BACKWARDS

Ogh carmen you were being so nice to them and then you had to go and be quippy about it again

I dont know how she didnt trigger that thing BEFORE

Yessss carmen jump into the murder hole with no signal and no one knowing where you are and no tools…yes…smart…

Poor el topo was walking down the path with his eyes closed the whole time

HEHE I LOVE THE TONE CHANGE THERE- the normal caper-y atmosphere suddenly changing to carmen being cornered with nothing, signaled by that sinister little shift in el topo’s voice i LOVE THAT. carmen is on the defensive REAL fast

ALSO LE CHEVRE IS SO FUNNY he doesn’t even go to help he’s just like “I FUCKING TOLD YOU TIGRESS DIDN’T I FUCKING TELL YOU”

Tigress knows better than to fight carmen with her goggles on now

I also like the little display of carmen’s fighting style. I think this is one of the best examples of it in the whole show. She tries at first to just get out/past El Topo at the door. Then she tries every exit she can think of, only fighting where she has to. She is TERRIBLE in tight/closed spaces…really a defensive fighter. Great fight as always and I LOVE fights where there are more than one person involved we get them so rarely

Btw carmen taking off the hat and coat? BAD idea everyone knows an absence of red means she’s going to lose REAL bad smh

WILHELM SCREAM

She protected the face

The outrage when tigress “aww”s at her fshgfgf

Fedorable

Pls el topo is so gentle with her he just lowers her to the floor very nicely

Carmen is also SO emotionless about it she’s just like :| hmm yes they are going to inform coach brunt they have captured me i see this is interesting

MMMGH CARMENS FACE WHEN SHE REALIZES PLAYER WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG (SO SHE THINKS. SO MANY LAYERS OF DECEPTION)

OKAY thats the first episode done. MAN what a solid episode I love it!!! Okay- not much else to say, I’m movin on to part 2!

#cs weekly #csweekly #carmen sandiego weekly #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019

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lupismaris · 2 years

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The Opening Act of Spring- a Black Sails Fic. Chapter 1.

The Silverflinthamilton modern au that I’ve been drawing for over a year (where Flint owns a gay bar) is being written! Set five-ish years after a modern canon which will be somewhat told through flashbacks and exposition.

(Chapter one of idk how many but until more is written it’s going to live entirely on tumblr. )

Somewhere in the Village, Silver was counting Rolex and Cartier wristwatches, drop diamond earrings, plated gold layered necklaces, and birkins that were made to look well worn. He was counting, and noting the clear bell-like tone of the glass ware as it clinked together- crystal, the real stuff with the faintest etchings, but understated enough to look like it belonged in an effortless rooftop lounge. He didn’t usually enjoy rooftops, the only way out was the elevator unless he wanted to make an outfit change and that was usually too much work, and most rooftops only had one reserved for the restaurant, bar, or lounge. It was poor design for emergencies, poorer still for anyone looking to make a clean exit.

“Oh, enough already.”

Silver blinked and the room around him hummed loudly, violently, back to life, the carefully selected sounds of glassware and certain voices drowned out by a wave of noise.

Rackham sat across the small marble topped table, dressed neatly in a silk shirt that was unbuttoned nearly to the navel, tight high wasted trousers that made him seem even taller than he already was, and an assortment of jewelry that Silver knew half belonged to his sister. The exasperated look on his face, and the amusement that couldn’t be hidden behind his rose tinted glasses, made Silver smile.

“Sorry. Old habits.”

“I didn’t invite you here specifically for a job. This is called drinks, aperitif even- its what normal people do,” Rackham waved a hand and Silver watched the way his gold bangles caught the soft light of the room, accented further by the late afternoon sun. “No need to case the joint, cause if you get caught lifting anything worth less than 20k I’m not covering for you.”

Silver rolled his eyes. “As if I’d settle for anything less than that. You know me better, Jack.”

“Well I’d like to think so but your last few jobs have me a trifle concerned, sweetums.”

Their second round of drinks were delivered, Rackham flashing the waiter a smile and placing an order for an assortment of small plates. Silver wasn’t particularly hungry, not that he had eaten, it was more that the sudden summons to Manhattan had gone from generally positive to somewhat suspicious, once Rackham had started suggesting things that weren’t entirely business. And that suspicious feeling left his stomach a little too uneasy for overpriced appetizers with colorful garnishes.

But Rackham seemed unbothered by the tension in Silver’s shoulders.

“Is this a critique then? I thought I was being invited as a glorified house guest. At least that’s how my sister makes it sound. Not like I’m much good in your fashion designer games now am I?” He asked, taking up his glass. “Unless you want to truss me up like a prized poodle in whatever your newest designs are.”

“I can hear the note of condescension and it is unappreciated you fuck. Honest business is honest business and your sister and I happen to be doing very well for ourselves, thank you very much. Two of our designs are in this room alone,” Rackham said, and while his posture remained relaxed and unbothered, the knife like edge to his words made Silver smile brightly.

“Oh don’t twist up your thong, if you’re going to insult my skill it’s only fair I take a dig at yours don’t you think?”

“No. Because my skill has rogue fashion studios in Paris and now Manhattan,” Rackham says flatly. “That are giving the design houses a legitimate challenge and strong arming our way into fashion week. You, sir, are back to swindling old men for their investment portfolios or old women for their opera jewels. Things you have long since out grown.”

The noise of the room shifted again, as Silver sat back in his seat and scowled. “So this is a critique.”

“Would you prefer round one of an intervention?”

“Not really.”

Rackham sighed and set his drink down, propping his elbows on the table. “Look- you are, without risk of inflating your ego, the smartest man I know. I hate it, believe me. And you are wasting your time and talent on jobs that are going to get you caught. Your sister knows this. I know this. Even Chaz knows this-”

“Oh for fucks sake-”

“Ah let me finish- It’s been what, five years now? Six? Since the big one- since the glory that was our shared retirement.” Rackham spread his hands wide as if that simple gesture could, somehow by some miracle, encompass everything that had happened in the short, harrowing year that lead up to their so called retirement. “And you have not managed to retire.”

“No- no that’s not true. I did retire. I did. And it was awful. Okay?” Silver argued. “It was the worst fucking thing I’ve ever done. I mean my god you think people actually enjoy just laying around on a beach all day? I just-”

“You didn’t have to actually retire you idiot but you were supposed to find something else to do other than this-” Rackham waved at Silver, again as if the simple gesture could encompass everything that was his current state. “You could have done just about anything, conned your way into, I dunno, vineyard ownership, art collecting, travel writing solely for the sake of writing, writing bad romance novels for sexless married straight people, romance novels for the queers, literally anything-”

“I tried- and it was all just-” Silver sighed, giving up on an answer and instead sipping his whiskey cocktail. It was easier than trying to explain the fact that somehow, in that short, impossible year, he’d finally become someone real, someone tangible, and now he couldn’t be anyone else. And that at least, by being a con man, he was staying true to himself in the one way he knew how.

Rackham sat back in his seat again and pushed his glasses up on his head, tussling his carefully mismanaged curly mullet. “I know. Its not easy, finding a new life to lead. It took all of us time to find the people we were before it all happened. To find the people we wanted to be in the ashes the were left behind. I can… only imagine it’s much harder for you.”

Wasn’t that a laughable notion. A truth of course, Silver conceded, but a laughable one.

Everyone had lost something that year, you don’t go into a con of that level without taking risks. You don’t challenge men of that stature, companies of that wealth, collections of that value, without putting everything you value on the line.

But everyone else had walked away with something, someone. Some semblance of themselves.

Everyone but Silver.

“Your letter had said this was about a job,” Silver said finally. A letter. An actual letter too, on nice paper with a letter head and a wax seal and everything because Rackham was, if nothing else, authentic to the core and spared no detail, even in gently bribing a friend, nae, colleague, into what was starting to feel a little bit like a trap, though Silver couldn’t put his finger on why. “Does Max know about it?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t summon her brother without consulting her first. I like my dick well enough were it is thanks.”

“What Job?”

Rackham smiled and shook his head. “That’s not what this is. This is aperitif, drinks, catching up, remember?”

“We don’t do that, Jack.”

“We never had the opportunity.”

“Hardly have to start now.”

“I disagree.” He tilted his head. “By the way, what name is it you’re using these days.”

Ah.

That was why it was starting to feel like a trap.

The amusement had faded from Rackham’s eyes. He was watching Silver like a Cat, the way he used to in the Islands all those years ago, when he was hoping to catch Silver’s tell, catch his bluff. The faintest, thoughtless smile hung at the corners of his lips, accented by his curled mustache.

Silver held his gaze and said nothing.

“Mmm. That’s what I thought.”

“Jack-”

“Still using the name he gave you.”

Rackham’s smile grew as he sipped his drink, something golden like sunlight as it swirled around it’s coupe glass. Silver fought for calm, keeping his face impassive as he watching Rackham scan the room like any diner would.

“I chose the name, thank you.”

“Oh pish posh, you chose it, he chose it, tomato, tomahto. We all know the truth, Silver.”

Rackham fixed him with a hard look, arm hooked over the back of his chair and a cold light in his eyes.

“He’s the one who pinned you with that name like the tag on a fucking corpse. You’ve worn a hundred names in this life and the last, and whats it matter now? Oh nothing, just that your own personal god gave meaning to the empty promises you made the day you tried to rob him blind.”

There was a knife on the table. Sharp. Cerated. But that would be more than the moment deserved, even if the curdled taste on Silvers tongue demanded a bitter iron accompaniment. He could get up and walk away, that was the civil thing to do, and they were now civil people, feral things made clean and tame in the eyes of the well mannered world, or so his sister would remind him every so often during their calls.

But the hard look in Rackham’s eyes softened and he set aside his drink, reaching across the table for Silver’s hand. Silver stared at it for a moment before reaching to take it.

“You’re not the only one sour about the fact you got stuck. I’m just sorry yours…”

“Went up in smoke?” Silver offered with a tired smile.

Rackham laughed softly. “Well yes, but then faking one’s death is a pretty clean way out of the game. It was kind of you, offering him such a way out, when he didn’t deserve it.”

The uneasy feeling that had twisted Silver’s stomach up into knots was starting to reach his chest, twisting and churning it like the old sea before a storm. Silver pulled his hand away and sipped his drink, giving the waiter a moment to drop off the small plates Rackham had ordered.

The lounge, with the reflections in the glass of nearby buildings, felt a bit untethered to Silver, crowded and empty depending on where you looked, people coming and going in large groups and small. The decor was clean and simple, well placed greenery taking the place of abstract art, and two art deco inspired bars placed at opposite ends of the rooftop to give a sense of wide open space. Among the movement and the noise, it was easy to feel like one’s eyes were playing tricks, and with his nerves on edge, Silver felt like he was seeing ghosts in the corner of his eyes. He knew it was just the conversation, summoning them, that he wasn’t seeing old allies and enemies amongst the Manhattan socialites on a Tuesday evening.

He knew Rackham wouldn’t risk him like that.

Didn’t he?

“That isn’t fair to him,” Silver said once the waiter had left, Rackham glancing up from his plate. “To Flint-”

The rest quietly disappeared, exchanged to the Spanish government for a very lucrative payout (was it the total value? No but near enough that everyone would land on their feet, made sweeter by what they cleared out from Woodes’ investments), which then of course had been divided up into the appropriate accounts via wire so that, ideally, no one would ever have to see each other ever again.

The mention of the name alone shifted the air in the room, only for Silver of course No one else had any reason to notice the delicate way he uttered the single syllable. He wasn’t even sure if he was still using the name these days.

Their names had never fully gone public, during The Con. Sure they’d all been in the Islands, engaged in various events and jobs for The Guthrie Shipping Company, now out of business permanently, but records were lost, names smudged, burned, deleted, hard-drives wiped, the usual clean up that needs to be done after a dozen deaths, a minor workers rebellion, and the disappearance of 5 million in Spanish gold.

A portion of the gold had been seized on a private flight out of Nassau, in the luggage of one Woodes Rogers, who even five years later was still claiming he was framed, despite a plethora of evidence linking him and other English investors to various aspects of the Con.

It had after all been a very hectic year, a bit of time apart was in order.

They were meant to scatter.

Except Max and Anne and Jack and Charles, the Rangers as they had affectionately become known, who wandered off to Europe, to rusticate in Italy if Silver remembered correctly. Of course they were destined to stay together, the world now their oyster to bend to their mighty wills, and Silver was, truly, glad for them. No one quite deserved a soft and joyful ending, free of blood and non-consenting bondage, quite like his sister and her lover, and her lover’s men. Italy had become France, once the plan for their “Rogue Fashion House” as Jack called it, had come to fruition. Max and Jack each worked on the designs, Jack tailored them almost entirely himself and Max acted as head model. It was art for Art’s sake, they didn’t need the money (They’d swindled a few wealthy tourists and retirees on their Italian tour, and they were comfortable), they just wanted the magazines frothing at the bit, club kids and fashion week hipsters wearing their designs instead of Dior.

To disrupt and irritate and make their name stick. A bit of glory all their own.

Silver could support that.

Rackham tilted his head, toothpick from one of the plates between his teeth. “Don’t do that. Don’t go giving the man grace when you already gave him a miracle. Christ above Silver I’ll start wondering about that bleeding old heart of yours next.”

Silver smiled wryly. “Nothing to worry about there. That’s cold and hollow and tired. And done with, thank you very much.”

“Oh is that so?”

“Yes. I don’t have it in me and I’d like it if you’d just left it alone, I can smell the meddling,” Silver warned him, “I’m not interested. If I was I’d have gone to London and looked him up.”

“London?” Rackham frowned.

“Yeah. London. Or I dunno, maybe he went to Scotland, he’d probably be much happier up that way. He could go on for hours about how much he hated England but with-” Silver shook his head. The ghost was in the corner of his eye again, not quite the man he once knew but unnerving all the same.

His Flint had worn his hair short near the end, shaved clean cut in a military style with a haunted, gaunt look to his face. Still handsome, still the kind of man to hold the room’s attention and breath in the palm of his hand without so much as a spoken word, all he needed was a look. But the darkness that had come to live inside them both had graced Flint’s shoulders like a mantle, well worn, well loved, regal in it’s weight and grief and echoing in every facet of his body.

Silver cleared his throat. “With his husband being alive I’m sure he’d want to go home, pick up the pieces of their old lives and everything. I figured they made their way back to the UK once he broke him out of the hospital. I let him. That’s why it’s not fair, to say he didn’t deserve such a way out,” he clarified, as Rackham listened. “He didn’t- I was supposed to meet him. Once he’d found his husband and gotten him safely home.”

“… you chose not to.”

“It was never formally arranged.” Silver shrugged and sipped his drink. The whiskey had lost it’s flavor, only the burn remained. “When I showed him the file, all the evidence that his husband was alive in that facility, after all these years- he didn’t wait to make a plan, Jack. He left. That night with what few essentials he could pack and a kiss goodbye.”

There was a look in Rackham’s eye now, as Silver explained, that seemed almost pitying. There were few things Silver hated as much as pity.

“He left for one airport. I left for another. By the time he was in Austria I was on my way to New Zealand with a new phone number that only Max had and everything else burned and scrapped completely. Put the little I had into secured storage.”

Rackham sighed. “Fucking hell, John.”

“It was for the best.”

“Oh is that what you’ve been telling yourself?”

“Fuck you-”

“Yes yes, fuck me, you’re a good enough lay. The point stands, you made a choice, again. And you’re living with the fallout. Well maybe not living.”

“I am. And I’d like to keep doing that if it’s all the same to you.”

Rackham shook his head. “It’s not. And it’s not to your sister. We both came to the decision to call you and ask you here, not just for a job, which there is one I promise though that will be discussed once we are all together. So you have to stay long enough for that to happen no matter how sick of me you get,” he smiled sweetly and Silver considered the risks of punching him. Fighting Anne later was never worth it. Throwing a drink? No that came with public reaction. “Look I can see you debating your exit and whether or not you can subtly fillet me with that knife, but before you do, can I please just say my piece and then it will rest, for good, and I’ll not bring it up again?”

Silver held his gaze for a moment, looking for a tell, a bluff, anything.

The trouble was Rackham was as good a card shark as Silver.

There was nothing.

“Fine.”

“Thank you.” Rackham picked up his drink again and sat back in his seat, sipping at it as he looked Silver over for a moment. “Now. I am grateful that you told me your side of things in a very adorable attempt to try and, for whatever reason be it delirium or lingering feelings, give some grace to Flint and the fact that while you have been drifting aimlessly from con to con and mark to mark, he and his impeccably well dressed trophy husband have been living out their quaint little fairy tail.”

“Is this going to be a long final piece?”

“Hush. Now where was I-”

“The fairy tale.” Silver gritted out.

The ghost was sitting in the corner of his right eye now. Sitting there by the bar, not fluttering in and out, just sitting. It wasn’t Flint, just a man with similar red hair, longer of course, heavier built, but the fucked up wiring in Silver’s fucked up brain so desperately wanted it to be a ghost, so desperately wanted it to be Flint. Not for any good reason.

They had nothing to say to each other.

“Yes the fairy tale. You’ve gone to the ends of the proverbial earth because you, god forbid, fell in love with the worst possible man you could have fallen in love with, and we’ve forgiven you for that, and you give him this miracle, yes? You do this because you love him. You give him the impossible, his husband, who was dead. And instead of living out this fairy tale with him and his husband who, if I may, is a specimen, you commit yourself to a-” Rackham paused for a moment, sipping his drink as he mulled over the words.

“Life of my own?”

Rackham scoffed. “A mockery of one but fine, a life of your own, without even having a conversation. Fine. I’d be a bit allergic to such a conversation too but what I don’t understand, is why that bastard, with all the shit he’s done in his life, get’s the fairy tale.”

“Because he does. And that’s how it needed to be. If he didn’t things wouldn’t have ended. You know that, Jack.” Silver finished his drink. “The con would have gone on for ever, the gold would have become another treasure, another smugglers business to bring down, another union uprising, you know it would have gone on-”

“And so you bring him down with his Achilles heel and condemn yourself to purgatory. How noble for a man who claimed to never have morals.”

“Your point, Jack. If you please.”

“The point is, I have two reasons for you being back in Manhattan. The first is a very selfish cause, the job. The second,” Rackham waved a hand with a easy smile, “let’s call a spiteful settling of the scales.”

“The fuck are you talking about-”

The ghost.

The ghost in the corner of his eye.

Silver felt his blood run cold and his heart drop, a lead weight into the pit of his empty stomach. He sat, still as a man possibly could with fear clawing it’s way up his throat like a caged animal desperate for air.

Rackham watched him, carefully, sipping his cocktail. “Do you know why I picked this spot? It’s a new place, just opened a couple weeks ago and still very precious, hard to get a table. The dream of a whiz kid from the Bronx so I’m told, incredibly talented, next to no formal training, just a devotion and ambition. And of course,” a tilt of the head towards the bar, “the right sympathetic ear with a very sexy bank account. Takes a bit of digging online to find the investors, they prefer privacy, not to overshadow the stars they patron-”

“Jack-” Silver’s voice barely registered over the echoing noise of the lounge.

The ghost was moving, greeting someone at the bar, someone in a chef’s coat.

“But if you do go digging, if it interested you, you’d find one Lord Thomas Hamilton,” Rackham said looking Silver over. “He’s a devoted patron of well deserving cases it seems. Especially now that he’s got his old man’s money on top of whatever share Flint still has in the vault.”

There was a knife in his hand. Silver didn’t remember reaching for it, the cerated dinner knife clutched in a white knuckle grip so that the blade was parallel with his wrist, sharp edge outward. But holding it, solid and real and sure, was a comfort all the same. Even if the ghost was just some man with red hair.

The room felt impossibly small, suffocating, the sound muted save for Rackham’s voice. His hands rested on his lap, knife in the right, the left clutching tightly at his left knee, that ached with an old, vengeful pain.

“They’re not in the UK, Silver. They spent six months there I think, long enough to get the paperwork resolved for the inheritance and make sure the Lady Barlow was comfortable situated in her new digs. She’s doing well by the way. But once Thomas Hamilton was cleared from the hospital? Flint brought him back to New York far as I can tell, before finding a quiet spot up in New England for a time to weather the worst of it. But they tell me it was only a year or so before they were settling down in the City properly.”

“They- they Tell you?” Silver forced himself to ask.

Rackham nodded. “Considering Flint hunted us down the moment he realized you’d flown the fucking coop?Yeah. They tell us quite a bit these days. We kept our mouths shut in the beginning, other than to tell him you were alive. Had a feeling if we didn’t do that he’d topple back into the old ways over night, but what can you do hmm? Anyway, He let it go once the trail went cold. You did the job rather neatly, for what it’s worth.”

The terror, the grief, or whatever feelings Silver was forced to withstand in that moment must have shown on his face. Rackham sighed, and sipped his drink, his smile soft and indulgent around the rim of his coupe glass.

“What was that you were saying before? Your heart being cold and hollow? Sounds a bit like that grave you should have put him in when you had the chance, don’t you think?” he asked softly. “Before love snared you like the rest of us?”

Again the ghost was moving in the corner of his vision, talking to the person in the chef’s coat, shaking his hand, turning away from the bar to face the room- cold icy panic filled Silver to the core. Everything left unsaid, every goodbye rehearsed in hotel bathrooms at 3 in the morning, every broken apology, every canceled phone call from burner cells and hotel lobby phones- everything began to echo through his mind with the urgency of a siren.

And the grief.

Oh the grief.

He felt like he was drown all over again.

“He hasn’t spotted you yet,” Rackham said, confirming the fear. “But he’s close. He’s scanned the room twice, glanced this way with a curious look but I think that’s cause of me. He won’t acknowledge me in public without his husband though. In truth, I wasn’t sure he’d be here tonight but it was as good a chance as any.”

“Jack please-” Silver was willing to beg. He’d never begged before, but this seemed like a good enough reason to start.

“You have a clear path to the exit and the elevator, with what should be enough cover once the kitchen door opens. I’ve been watching them, they have a rhythm.” He pulled a card out from his wallet and passed it to Silver. “I know you have a room but this is the hotel suite your Sister booked for you. It’s closer to us but not so much so that he’ll find you with that irritatingly smart brain of his.”

Silver took the card and pocketed it. He’d only arrived the night before, checked in to a little boutique hotel by Grand Central to keep his head down. But whatever Max had planned was what he’d do, he was too worried about Flint right now to argue with her, and she had probably planned for this anyhow.

“Take a deep breath and count to ten,” Rackham said firmly. “On ten, get up and walk calmly for the exit. Calmly, do you understand me?”

Silver nodded.

“If he follows you I’ll do what I can to slow him down. He’s not going to catch you. I promise you John.”

Silver knew Rackham’s word was good.

All tricks and lies and charm aside, he knew that to be true.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“From 10. Starting now.”

Silver inhaled all the way to five and exhaled from five to ten, at which point he smiled and thanked Jack for the drinks, made a quick excuse about having to run. He got up from the table, placing the knife back with the rest of the silverware, and made sure to turn his back to the bar. Rackham grabbed his hand briefly, giving it a quick squeeze.

“Run, Rabbit,” Rackham said with a wink, and Silver made for the exit.

They timed it well enough, Silver headed for the door just as a wave of orders came out from the kitchen. The floor was confused for a moment, a chaotic dances of servers in white aprons and newly arriving diners trying to get to their tables and other patrons flagging someone down for their bill. Silver did his best to weave in and out of the various moving bodies, keeping his head down and eyes on the door, wondering to himself if this was how Orpheus had felt in that fateful challenge.

Fuck if that wasn’t proof he was still in hell over it all, ruined to the day he finally died by the secret romantic that Flint had been. There he was terrified of facing Flint again for the first time in over five years and he was thinking of Orpheus and Eurydice.

What a joke.

Just a few more tables to clear, and the hostess stand, and then Silver would be free, able to disappear around the corner and into the crowds of millions below, reveling in the springtime evening. He’d be free, he told himself, as he carefully sidestepped around a waitress who nearly dropped a tray on him.

“God I’m sorry sir, you good?” the waitress asked as she steadied herself, already taking a few steps away.

“I’m alright, I’m alright,” Silver assured her, only to find himself looking back at Rackham, and in turn, the bar where his ghost had been standing.

His ghost who was staring right at him, as if he too was looking a dead man in the eye.

Flint was wearing white.

It was Flint, of course, a bit older. He’d grown his hair back, it was falling in loose waves across his shoulders even with the more pronounced widows peak. There was more gray in it now, bright streaks of it along the temples and woven into it like starlight, combed into his beard and mustache that he still wore thick and well groomed the way he had when Silver had kissed him goodbye. Silver’s skin prickled with the phantom touch of it, the way it had felt to be kissed by him, the tickle of his beard along his skin. He’d filled out at long last it was easy to see even at this distance, his soft barrel chested torso, broad shoulders no longer weighed down with an impossible weight. He was dressed in simple, elegant clothes- a cleanly pressed button down and well fitted suit pants, leather loafers, a bit of jewelry that caught the light, all subtle and understated the way he always had been.

But what nearly broken Silver, what nearly kept his feet from moving and let him be caught? The silliest thing of all really.

Silver could hardly remember a time the man wore anything that wasn’t a mourning color.

He heard Rackham’s voice, a loud overly smarmy greeting as he moved to join Flint at the bar and intercept him before he could catch up to Silver and that served to force Silver’s feet to start moving again. He didn’t wait to watch as Flint no doubt shoved his way past Rackham, with whatever niceties or lack there of he could muster in his anger. He cleared the hostess stand and rounded the corner, nearly sprinting as best as he could on his prosthetic for the elevators as everything he’d fought to keep down for so many years tore its way back up his throat. He had to wonder what scars it would leave, whether it would match the rest of his collection.

“Silver!” came Flint’s voice from behind him. “Will you- Silver stop!”

A moment of divine providence, the elevator was waiting. A kind couple, clearly on a date, held the doors for him and Silver slipped inside with a bright smile and a sweet note of thanks. He pressed himself against the back wall and took a slow breath.

“Sir? Elevator?” the couple asked, still holding the door.

Silver lifted his head to see Flint standing there on the other side of the open door, arms limp at his sides.

His hands were shaking.

“No,” Flint said with a polite smile, “No sorry I realize I forgot my phone, I’ll get the next one, thank you.” He bowed his head and backed away so the doors could close, the couple turning to each other to continue their conversation.

It took a moment for the doors to chime and close, and all the while they waited, Silver was pinned under the fierce, familiar deep sea gaze he’d come to love. He could only hope his own expression was empty, impassive maybe, cold, quiet, anything besides what he was actually feeling. He was a con man for fucks sake he should be able to manage in moments like this.

But Flint looked the way he had the day they said goodbye, without knowing it was going to be goodbye. The day he’d learned that Thomas was alive, and had been all those long years, kept from him just out of reach. Haunted, with a new kind of rage brewing beneath the surface of the sea.

And Silver felt himself beginning the grieving processes all over again as the doors closed and his Captain disappeared from view.

#opening act of spring bs mdau fic #jamie's fic #black sails fic #silverflinthamilton #john silver #james flint #thomas hamilton #jack rackham #sat down and wrote 5k+ of words in one sitting lmao i hope you like it #my eyes hurt and my brain goes brr but im not manic so thats a plus #we'll pick at chapter 2 tomorrow

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petalsmooth · 16 days

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Over 2 year's of Luke hearing about how Colin has to grovel for like 7 episodes over one comment end of season 2 that Colin instantly regrets from Pen stans....then you have PEN fans mass quoting someone who thinks it's problematic Pen is lying about LW several episodes because sensitive to criticism of her?

Dudes...Colin did like one total thing wrong and it was treated like he should be hanged. Pen is engaged, having sex etc with him and keeping her identity secret despite knowing how he feels not only about LW and trust. If we're talking scale of worst offenses, why is it you aren't demanding she grovel for 7 episodes for forgiveness? AND I love Polin but doesn't mean I like this choice they made with the story.

They'll work through it, and I am not going to demand another season when grovels on her knees over it. But throwaway drunken comment is not the same as multi arc of deception and you know it or you wouldn't have taken to mass quotes, including private quotes over it. I'm just generally not in the mood to react the way Pen stans did and demand revenge porn over it because I want as many happy scenes with them as I can get. I also know of all drama they could give them, either of these things is a definite grade above what first two seasons had for conflict.

I love Pen, Colin and Polin but I do think people who are more Pen stans than they care to admit can be incredibly hypocritical and do NOT like admitting to her flaws and definitely too harsh on Colin because in the end almost view him as a trophy for her not a real character in his own right. Hell, you know how many times I heard it didn't matter if his story got fleshed out as long as Pen's did? Like hell it didn't matter. I am not shipping Penelope with a trophy husband. The whole idea makes me cringe. I am shipping two characters who balance and compliment each other and you only get there by exploring both. I don't want an empty headed nice piece to look at which some of them seem to. Nor do I think Pen wants that and I find it kind of insulting actually that you'd want that for her. Just as I am insulted some people actually think Debling sorting through the ton and finding a young, insecure woman he believes he can stash away to run his house and attempts to create children with every 3 years is an awesome life for her.

Pen and Colin are good together not just because there is insane chemistry with Luke and Nicola, but because they have similar interests. Similar humor. Both talented writers. And because they balance each other. His drive to have someone of his own to care for and protect vs her having been left on her own her entire life with no one seemingly caring what happened to her. His feelings of being unnoticed, unappreciated and overlooked in midst of a large family but Pen actually sees HIM not just his Bridgerton name. And for the faults I have with the SL, in the end she apologizes and admits wrong just as he admits and apologizes for being wrong in ep 1. Because they are not toxic, they work through their issues and not to proud to say sorry if needed.

There are things I will defend Pen over. I personally have NO issue with the LW column. None. I won't pretend I don't think consternation over it is entirely out of proportion and I know the actors have tried to say well how would you feel if your friend was secretly writing you up in a gossip rag and...nah....

First off I would have more of an issue if what was said in it was untrue. It never is.

Second...Pen isn't writing about Bridgerton's for the most part because she wants to write about them. She's writing about them because they keep THROWING THEMSELVES INTO SCANDEL. My general attitude is maybe own your own privilege that allows you to act without thinking because deep down you know you'll bounce back from scandal while others in the ton would not. Don't want it splashed all over? Don't go throw downtown London cavorting with single male printer apprentice's and put Pen in a position where there is no good way to extricate them both from the Queen or don't engage yourself to the sister of the person you actually love. And with Marina, no apologies there either, Marina brought that on herself and hurt or not Colin was saved from a manipulative woman who didn't give a damn about him.

Personally I identify more with the young woman who's family was perpetually on brink of bankruptcy with no marriage prospects looking to secure a financial backup to protect herself because no one else would. The one abused by her family, the ton and even ignored by her "best friend". Said best friend who upon listening to Pen for FIRST TIME EVER figures out LW and decides Pen could only have been so for the worst reasons ever, never allowing any explanation or understanding but promptly hooks up with Pen's bully and gives her all the understanding in the world. You will never convince me pen didn't tell Eloise because she knew Eloise really only valued Pen as a sounding board and follower. I think they love each other but Eloise was NOT a very good friend to Pen. If they are going to be friends in future, there needs to be a change there.

Whereas Colin is different. I don't know if she thinks he'd never forgive her, she might think that based on Eloise's reasons and her own expectation nothing ever goes right in her life. But if Colin can forgive Marina, he can forgive Pen. She and Colin are also incredibly intimate and to be married...I think these is less justifiable cause to keep a secret there. I think the real reason she does is because she's loved him forever and having a brief time with him after deciding would never happen? Now is terrified of losing him even more and....I can understand that. Doesn't mean she's in the right but I can understand why she struggles but I can also understand why he needs some time to think it through before forgiving her.

In the end though I do like that this couple doesn't have to be forced into apologies, they admit their wrongs and none of this need for drawn out revenge porn toxic elements in fandom sometimes require. All sins/missteps aren't the same and while I DO believe in redemption arcs...it depends greatly on what they need redeeming FROM.

Case in point...cheating plots. Sorry, but for me you have a character cheat than I am NOT just easily going to get over that. It's a violation of trust but also...a complete lack of respect for the person you are with. As you are saying you didn't respect them enough to just break it off before violating their trust. Relationships, successful ones, should allow for trust and respect and if you break both don't expect me to believe that can be easily re-established in 2 episodes. In real life it might never be recaptured but it's fiction...still not buying buying a happy reunion without the writers putting the work in first.

Another example...Cressida Cowper having a difficult family life so she has an excuse to bully Pen. Say what? Pen has had an awful life too, even worse than Cressida's. Her father was murdered over gambling debts. Cressida's problems are no different than most young women in the ton. The Bridgerton's are exceptions in the ton. Most are like Cressida. Little familial warmth, little to no say in suitors. Infact Cressida even being allowed to make it to her third season before her father forces a match is better than other women get. If you want me to buy a Cressida redemption, then don't tell me her back story gives cause to understand her actions when it does not. You need to write a present day event that changes her outlook instead and have her grow from THAT.

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yokefellows · 9 months

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Overlooked and Unappreciated

Today’s Saying

Do you ever feel overlooked by the world? Take heart — we are handpicked by God.

Today’s Scripture

“After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’” Acts 13:22 (NIV)

Today’s Sermonette

A little glance into David’s life. Despite his tendency to sin, his lack of position in his own family and how others viewed him, David had the sweet reassurance of God. And that was enough.

Overlooked by everyone else. Handpicked by God.

To his older brothers, David was young — possibly even a pest. To his father, Jesse, he was just another son. To onlookers, he was a mere shepherd boy.

But to God, David was the one destined to be king of Israel. And not just any king. He was from the bloodline from which Jesus would come.

Overlooked by everyone else. Handpicked by God.

Even the way David was anointed to be the future king is a telling story.

In 1 Samuel 16, God revealed to Samuel that He had rejected Saul as king and chosen one of Jesse's sons to be the replacement.

Think of the list of qualifications that must have run through Samuel's mind for such a position: tall, smart, articulate, brave, groomed, well-mannered, a natural-born leader.

Samuel saw some of these characteristics in Eliab, David's brother.

“But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV).

Samuel had Jesse line up all of his sons. All of them were to be considered. Yet, Jesse didn’t call David in from tending sheep. Was this an oversight? An assumption? A judgment call? A deliberate choice?

Overlooked by everyone else. Handpicked by God.

Samuel passed on each of Jesse’s sons and then asked, “… Are these all the sons you have?”

I imagine Jesse with a quizzical expression replying,“There is still the youngest … he is tending the sheep” (1 Samuel 16:11a-b, NIV).

Surely one who spends his time taking care of animals is not the one to take care of a nation.

Overlooked by everyone else. Handpicked by God.

As soon as Samuel saw David, he knew he’d found the one. David was anointed to become king. But he was not immediately ushered to the throne. It would be many years before David was recognized by the world.

So, where did he go after being anointed as king? To a refining school? A government academy? Military training? Nope. He went back out to the fields and continued to shepherd his flock.

A king-to-be doing lowly tasks. A future king whose character was refined in the fields of everyday life to prepare him for his calling.

There is character building. There is attitude shaping. There is soul defining. All of which must take place for us to become what God intends.

Do you ever feel overlooked by the world? Take heart — we are handpicked by God.

We aren’t just doing tasks. We are building a legacy. We are shaping God’s Kingdom.

Today’s Supplication

Father, I’m grateful that even when I feel overlooked, I can rest in the fact I am handpicked by You. Help me see purpose in even the most mundane moments today. And help me live my life for an audience of One. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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noble-waterfall · 1 year

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Question dumping coz I feel very anxious and emotional. Maybe the coffee or period is coming up.

You make me feel safe in my crazy world.

You don't know how many times you save me...

You don't know how proud I am of you and to have...

I used to think I am a gem to have but then you came. You are my delicate gem now. I know the pain I've caused you, I thought I'm healed but I wasn't. You stayed. You love me still. You make things better. You make me feel better.

Most of the time I was unappreciative of you. I forgot the things you do for me. But now it's cleared, stated well and calmly, I'll do better. Try and try to think straight and better. Know that it's not you, it's my mind that's lying to me most of the time. The overthinking, the anxiousness.

You did not lack reassuring me in your way. And now I thank you for reassuring me in ways I understand more. You calm the storm within me. You never stop showing me you love me. I missed it all but now I see it all.

Thank you. I'll do better for you. I'll try to keep my sanity for you... for us. I'll open up and communicate more in a positive way, not blaming and more just leaning to you for comfort.

I love you. Hope you know that. I never stop even one second. I won't give up and keep trying to understand and learn about you and us. Because from the beginning, I know you're the risk that's worth taking.

— bub°

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yuna-writes · 1 year

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The hero and the villain

I’ve been asking this question time to time whenever I mingle with society, am I truly a hero or a villain? Or, are those concepts just an illusion? I still see myself as a hero, but I notice more people see me as a villain. And I’m not sure how I can convey my ideas about positivity without them making assumptions that it’s negative. When I talked about AI in the past way before it blew up, people were scared and did not see what I had to share as anything positive. I didn’t realize until later people are scared about the unknown. They are scared about the future they can’t control. Therefore, they see me as a villain because I seem to be speaking positively about it when in actuality I’m rather neutral.

I’m starting to think maybe I have this ability to see the future accurately which many people don’t have. Or maybe they do but won’t admit it? I’m not sure. I notice things that other people don’t see, but whenever I communicate them, their reaction is fear and negative emotions. And I’m not sure how to connect with them because my past experiences with dealing with people weren’t positive. I had a pretty unstable childhood. I can see why they would see me as a villain, because I don’t express the emotions and viewpoints they view as positive. Additionally, I don’t seem to care to wanting to fit in, because I know I can’t. Therefore, I’m automatically the antagonist. Well, not always I guess, there a few people who find me really interesting when they get to know me. Adult life is little bit more better than my childhood because I can search for other people outside of school.

It’s odd because I spent majority of my life thinking I was a hero, but realized later majority never saw me that way deep down...but that’s every struggle for a neurodivergent person. Everyone struggles with something, whether they feel overlooked, undervalued and unappreciated. Gaining respect is difficult, but what makes sense to most people is you can be a complete social reject but if you have wealth, good looks, and power than people will accept you even if they rejected you in the past.

#notes

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theheartofrelationshipcounseling · 1 year

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What is Couple Therapy

When I tell people that I am a couples therapist, they have all sorts of questions. In today’s post, I thought I would write about the questions I’m asked most frequently about couples therapy and share how I answer them.

Who should go to couples therapy?

There are many reasons why a couple might want to go to therapy together:

You might be in a relationship where you feel that you and your partner are stuck in an endless round of conflict.

You might feel that your needs are unmet and you are at a lost as to how to meet them, or you feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated.

You might feel that some hurt from the past simply is not healing in your relationship and you now need help in how to “get past your past.”

You might be preparing for a commitment like moving in together, getting married, or having a child, but want first to talk through all of the related issues with a third party facilitating the conversation.

What is couples therapy exactly?

There are many different forms of couples therapy, but two of the most popular evidence-based modalities, both of which are practiced by clinicians at the Heart of the Matter Counseling, are the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (“evidence-based” means that researchers have demonstrated scientifically the effectiveness of a given technique). While there are differences in the two approaches, both focus upon implementing the parallel processes of de-escalating conflict while rebuilding positivity and connection in the romantic bond. This means that the therapist will help the two of you to slow down and turn down the temperature when you discuss difficult issues while finding ways for the two of you to re-engage feelings of mutual respect, affection, and care.

What’s the beginning of therapy like?

First you have to make the appointment, preferably at a time and on a day that you feel both of you will be able to commit to on a regular basis. In your first appointment, your therapist will introduce you to themselves as well as to their method of working and will ask you both to talk about your reasons for coming. The first session is also the beginning of an assessment period that will last for two more sessions. The assessment is done to make sure that the therapist has a strong grasp of all the issues that the couple is struggling with as well as to ensure that couples therapy is the appropriate course of treatment at this time. The second and third appointments will usually be made with each of you individually, to give you an opportunity to speak openly to the therapist and to feel that your point of view is understood and validated. In the fourth session, the therapist will then bring the couple back together and recommend a course of action based upon all of the needs and challenges that were assessed. This plan, which will be the focus of treatment going forward, usually consists of facilitated discussions in session and various tasks to be completed outside of session, both of which aim to de-escalate and work through conflict while building positivity and connection in your relationship.

What does the therapist do?

The therapist’s job throughout is to serve as a neutral third party who works for the good of the relationship, a facilitator of difficult discussions, a mentor and model of secure attachment and communication skills, and a source of reflection and validation. The therapist is especially responsible for making sure that both members of the relationship feel heard, seen, validated, and understood in their feelings.

What keeps people from trying couples therapy?

It is common for people to express to me a desire to try couples therapy, but they have concerns that get in the way. I think these fears are perfectly normal and useful to express so that your therapist is aware of them and will know to address them early in the therapeutic process. Here are some of the concerns that people have mentioned to me over the years, as well as how I address them as a therapist:

I’m ashamed about the issue that is causing so much conflict and I don’t want my therapist to judge me or both of us. Your therapist has special training and experience in not only how relationships can go right, but all of the difficult ways that they can go wrong. A therapist leaves judgment at the door because judgment only gets in the way of understanding how the difficult issue came to be and how to help you deal with it. You can expect your therapist to treat you as you struggle with your particular issue with respect and compassion.

I know that I have done/am doing something that has caused damage to the relationship, and I think the therapist will blame me for all of our problems. Your therapist is interested in understanding the forces that drive the unhealthy dynamic in your relationship, not in assigning blame.

The therapist is different from me and more like my partner (for example, I’m a man and my partner and my therapist are both women)- wouldn’t the therapist naturally side with my partner? Your therapist has received special training on how to be a neutral third party who is aligned with the needs of your relationship and not with one or another member of that relationship.

I’m afraid therapy will be all about fighting. The beginning of therapy can be an emotional time because you are being asked to openly talk about thoughts and feelings that you maybe haven’t been able to fully discuss in front of your partner before. It can also be emotional and uncomfortable to listen to what your partner has to say. The therapist’s job is to slow the discussion down and keep the exchange respectful, so that you both are willing and able to listen. Over time, these exchanges can open up to new perspectives and levels of understanding and compassion between partners. Eventually, couples start to apply the new skills that they have learned not only in session but during their every day life so that they come to view conflict and misunderstandings not as a “Oh, no, here we go again-“ scenario but as opportunities to learn new things about each other and to grow closer, not further apart.

Get to the heart of the matter and connect with the right therapist for you today. To request an appointment, please contact us.

#Couple Therapy #marriage counseling #marriage therapist #relationship counseling #relationships

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nelz-coral · 1 year

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In the stage of my life where I’m too tired….

To tired to argue

To tired to feed into misery

To tired to deal with anyone’s insecurities

To tired to continue talking about the same thing hoping to see changes but only seeing more of the same bs

To tired to continue defending myself and my honor when you make things up and really sit there believing the crap

To sick to allow anyone to make me sicker (mentally, emotionally, spiritually)

To sick to let all this make me have another stroke or heart attack I’ve had one to many in my young life

To sick to always be trying my hardest only for things to be unappreciated

I am though strong enough that I fight every day

Strong enough to do my utmost for anyone

Strong enough to struggle through daily pains, anxiety, depression, and more but still be positive and happy

Strong enough to continue being happy and the person I truly am!

Strong enough to leave if that’s what you want and are trying to do.

Because if you loved me… if you didn’t want to lose me you would evaluate things and see what your real issue is and correct it!! Because taking it out on me… I’m seeing it’s not me. It’s you! And YOU are making me feel things that I don’t like. I’m starting to recent you… I’m starting to recent myself.

I want so bad to talk and I can’t. And this bullshit post doesn’t even begin to really say or explain anything. This is me ranting even though it will and won’t mean a thing to you.

Because all you care about is what you think, what you feel, what makes sense to you and only you..what you don’t see is that not everything is or has to be about you.

You won’t ever be happy in life being the way you have been and treating me the way you do… you won’t ever be happy with anyone. Clearly!! Because I am a great person! A great “wife” a great partner! I go above and beyond for YOU and still you aren’t happy. You’re miserable, insecure and I haven’t been able to change that or help you. No matter what I do.

So just tell me to leave and I’ll be gone. Because this isn’t healthy

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xuxitheii · 3 years

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Hi xuxi <333 hope you're doing well♡ I saw that your requests are open; so I thought I'd come and stop by with one myself 😵💞💘‼️alright so, may I request a male!reader with baji, chifuyu and kazutora (dk how many characters you take but baji is fine of it's too much🙏🏻) where reader is in a rock band? Like part of Toman AND a rock band. Reader is the drummer of the band, and usually has band practice after school. I think it'd be cute if reader automatically taps on his lap (like he got used to playing drums 24/7😭) and see how they react with their boyfriend doing that. It's a sudden idea popped in my head, take all the time you need to write it, no pressure or anything ^_^ have a good day/night♡♡♡

it has been 6 days 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ i am so sorry i've been so inactive these past days, but i promise i am working on the requests please bear with me 😭😭 but en e ways HERE YOU GO LALI (≧∇≦)/ I HOPE THIS IS UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS ヽ(*´∀`)ﾉ and do enjoy this and give it some love (*´˘`*)

場地圭介 - 松野千冬 - 羽宮一虎

— “that’s not what i meant to do, but okay”

what can he do? he’s just one hell of a romantic (accidentally) man.

BAJI

it was around the afternoon, when the toman members were just fooling around like kids their age. the commander had decided that all captains and vice-captains were to hang out in this abandoned building they’ve made their base — there’s couches and blankets everywhere, it looks like a small little safe place for them (courtesy to takemichi and mitsuya for decorating it).

[Y/N] is quite annoyed, his band practice had to be put on a stop because mikey’s whine rang through the room from his phone right after he picked up, come play with me! i’m bored! he had to apologize to his band members — his good friends, by the way — and excused himself, with the other four telling him it’s okay, we understand, it’s mikey after all (yes, both groups know each other, they just don't hang out together that much). [Y/N] loved those practice with all of his heart, he’d stay until the sun comes down just enjoying the dum dum dum of the drums, the sound of the bass, the melody of the piano, the skilled fingers running along the guitar strings and the singing him and his friends would do every single practice.

but, of course, mikey just had to cut it off for hang out time (he’s not actually mad, he just needs to have his drama queen moment, let him be).

and so, to accommodate the loss of his drums, [Y/N] resulted in tapping his thighs instead, a certain melody of a song he’s learning playing around in his head. this, of course, caught the attention of the one and only, baji keisuke.

baji had taken notice of the [H/C] haired boy’s sour mood ever since he got to the place and plopped down on one of the beanbags they’ve prepared there. and when [Y/N] started tapping his thighs, one single conclusion popped in his mind,

ah, he wants me to soothe him by sitting there.

but like hell baji would let himself be put on someone’s lap (look, he’s a big man alright? ain’t no way he’s gonna sit on anyone’s lap — he gotta put his glorious thighs to use, there’s no way he’s passing this opportunity to flex his femur). the ravenette stood up, walked over to the beanbag, lifted the [H/C] haired boy by the waist, sit down on the beanbag and gently positioned his lover in his lap comfortably. [Y/N] short circuited, his back hunched, his hands frozen in the air like a claw machine and his knees near his chest — he looks like a startled cat frozen midway through the process — while the other stopped their shenanigans to pay attention to the two lovebirds.

[Y/N] is bewildered, what just happened? why did baji- his eyes filled with disbelief and confusion as he looked at the ravenette, the question relayed just by his eyes. the culprit, baji himself, raised his eyebrow with pursed lips, “what?” [Y/N] gawked, lips opening and shutting like a fish in the water. “what are you doing?” baji scoffed, feeling extremely unappreciated with all the efforts he put in this trying time, “what i’m doing? isn't it obvious?” [Y/N] felt confusion washed over him what the hell is he talking about the boy unable to comprehend the reason behind baji’s 38th unexplained actions (yes, he keeps count of every single one of baji’s whims), “you asked me to sit in your lap, i’m just granting your wishes.”

oh, baji, sweet and lovely baji, how in the hell did he reach this conclusion. [Y/N] sighed, lithe hands waving their way through luscious black hair, the action performed with such gentleness and love that baji can’t help but to turn into putty in his hands — akin to a cat purring — and [Y/N] spoke, with adoration dripping from his honeyed voice,

“baji, my dearly beloved, i’m sorry to inform you this, but darling, i was drumming on my thighs, you dumbass”

CHIFUYU

it was the perfect setting; just the two of them, draped with the warmth of the sunset’s light as they lazed around the comfortable bedroom, the soft wind tickling them every now and then from the open window — there was no words shared between the two, but the silence is enough to convey millions.

[Y/N] had zoned out for quite a while, lost in the thoughts of music sheets and the familiar stick in his hands, band practice had just been concluded for the day, but the boy can’t stop his hands to fall into a rhythm on his thighs. and it’s just so convenient that [Y/N] zoned out right in front of his boyfriend, matsuno chifuyu. his preoccupied eyes staring a hole into chifuyu, making the blond squirm slightly in his seat, why is he looking at me like that? chifuyu wondered. the blond couldn't help but let his thoughts go into overdrive with the many questions and scenarios filling it and it was then chifuyu’s mind clicked.

is this… the ‘sit in my lap’ scenario?

ah, the shoujo manga.

chifuyu bursts into flames, his face more heated than the sauna in the area, getting more and more flustered as his mind supplies him with more and more scenarios. is… is [Y/N]-kun telling me to sit on his lap? chifuyu squealed silently, turning his back to the boy in question — and if only he could pay attention a bit more, he would be able to see that his source of turmoil didn’t even respond to his squirming even in the slightest. if only he would pay more attention, he could save himself from the incoming embarrassment.

chifuyu stood up, his hands clenched tightly by his side (the proof to his nervousness), and walked over to the boy sitting on the bed — who had not moved at all — and slowly but surely, draped his hands onto his shoulders. [Y/N] did not move. chifuyu gulped down his saliva, biting his lips from the sheer excitement of doing this very romantic action with the love of his life, the blond gently took a seat on the [H/C] haired boy’s lap, positioning himself to be more comfortable. [Y/N] still did not move.

“u-um, [Y/N]-kun?” chifuyu stuttered out, boosting his performance even more, arms wrapped snugly around the boy’s neck to hide the blushing mess that was his face, “is– is this okay?” and yet, despite all of this, [Y/N] still hasn’t responded to any of chifuyu’s actions, which confuses the blond, why didn’t he do anything? chifuyu gradually moved his face from the crook of the boy’s neck, his eyes trailing [Y/N]’s face, looking for a sign of anything, “[Y/N]-kun? are you ignoring me?”

and it was only when chifuyu shook him by the shoulders did [Y/N] finally snap from his thoughts, suddenly hyper aware of the added weight resting comfortably in his lap, the hands on his shoulders and chifuyu’s frowning face in front of him, “chifuyu?!” the boy gawked, his head unable to give an explanation to the current predicament, how did chifuyu get here? why is he on my lap? i’m not complaining but — ah, i get it. [Y/N] cackled, finding the whole situation amusing, his hands wrapping around chifuyu’s waist to keep him from falling off, “chifuyu, what are you doing?”

chifuyu’s frown deepened, what is he doing? didn’t [Y/N] want me to– and [Y/N] swears he can see when the realization seeped into chifuyu and oh boy, was it hilarious.

chifuyu leaped away from the boy in record time, hands to his mouth to, at the very least, give cover to the ever growing embarrassment and shame in him. chifuyu wants to scream and [Y/N] wheezes and cackles are not helping him in any way possible.

“why didn’t you tell me you were zoning off!”

“how am i supposed to tell you when i was zoning off?!”

KAZUTORA

kazutora is a very attentive person, he pays attention to every detail his eyes could get, never missing a single thing about anything. that is how he’s able to live his life as a delinquent and how he chooses his steps in every situation — even if what he chooses could be a negative choice. kazutora hanemiya is an attentive person.

and that’s why, when kazutora sees his lover hands patting his own thighs in a rhythmic beat, kazutora immediately knows that [Y/N] was not asking him to sit on the boy’s lap and that [Y/N] is actually drumming away on his thighs for replacement for his drums. but does kazutora care? no, he did not. kazutora simply chooses to do what he wants to do (good for him, good for him).

kazutora stood up from his seat on the floor, prancing his way to his lover’s lap with giddiness in his steps — even going as far as smoothing down the [H/C] haired boy’s lap to make it more comfortable for him. kazutora plopped down with grace, legs immediately wrapping around the boy’s waist like second nature, his hands guiding his lover’s to snuggle around his own waist, and finally, his hands finding their way home around the boy’s neck. kazutora rubbed his cheek on [Y/N]’s soft ones, embracing the boy with such love and adoration. the yellow eyed boy sure enjoyed the warmth the two shared.

[Y/N] snapped from his daydreams (it’s about his band practice), recognizing kazutora’s warm embrace the second he reminded himself where he was. the [H/C] haired boy returned the hug even more tighter, yet still comfortable for the two to move around. “hey,” he giggled out, feeling the warmth wrapping around his heart as well. a chuckle left kazutora, his eyes closed as he reveled in peace of the moment, “hey, you.”

[Y/N] hummed, swaying his body back and forth as he drowned deeper in his lover’s embrace, “why the sudden hug?” he didn’t mind of course, it’s way far from it actually, [Y/N] just like hearing kazutora’s voice is all. “well, a certain someone is zoning off and not paying attention to me,” [Y/N] chuckled at the jab, his hold tightening for a moment, “so i decided to get their attention myself — and it seems like i succeeded.”

a hum left [Y/N]’s lips yet again, an idea forming in his mind, letting his body fall to the bed. [Y/N] gazed at the boy above him, his lips pulled in a playful and love filled smile — he swears, kazutora does things to him. “do you want my attention?” a tease, a bait for kazutora and luck goes his way, kazutora bites into it, “yeah, i want my boyfriend’s attention” a giggle left [Y/N] again and kazutora softens even more at the lovely sound. kazutora swears he’ll be there to listen to it everyday in his life and he hoped, with every fibre of his being, that [Y/N] would share it together with him.

“wanna kiss then?”

“i would like that”

#male reader #x male reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers x male reader #baji keisuke #chifuyu matsuno #hanemiya kazutora #baji keisuke x male reader #baji x male reader #chifuyu matsuno x male reader #chifuyu x male reader #hanemiya kazutora x male reader #kazutora x male reader #xuxi's #xuxi's. orders

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circus4apsycho8 · 3 years

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Hi! Me again, from the sick Kai fic request, which I absolutely loved!

When i saw that there was no Zane ones I decided to ask for one instead 😅.

So I was wondering if you could do one where both Zane and the reader are cooking together and are just all romantic and fluffy. Like a song plays on the radio and they start dancing together a little or a classic back hug while one of them is doing something?

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘! 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚐𝚕𝚊𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚊𝚒 𝚘𝚗𝚎 :) 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘. 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗��𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚣𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚕

dance in the kitchen. | zane x reader

If there’s one thing you love, it’s your bubble.

When the chaotic nature of the people you have come to love so dearly shows, you realize you need to just take a step back sometimes. Your friends have come to understand this over the time you’ve known them, so they’d often let you have the space you so dearly appreciate.

No one had ever worked their way into your bubble. At least, not before you met a certain Nindroid.

Zane was the quiet ninja - always collected with a logical approach to everything. That was part of his allure when you first met him that fateful day. You were initially too shy to talk to him at first, but after some gentle probing on his end, the two of you became close friends. And many months later, after much nagging from the ninja, Zane asked you on a date. A sweet and gentle date where you had gently kissed his cheek for the very first time - it would only be one of many to come in the following months.

Which leads you to your current position - helping Zane chop an array of veggies for tonight’s dinner as a soft hum emanates from your lips. You hear your boyfriend swiftly working behind you as the loud laughs and shouts from your friends originates from the room outside of the kitchen. A tune plays from the speaker positioned at the end of the counter.

“They’re rowdier than usual tonight, aren’t they?” you remark, swiping a chopped bell pepper off of the cutting board and onto a plate.

“Indeed they are,” Zane replies, tone soft as he works.

You chuckle lightly before picking up the plate of veggies and setting it beside Zane.

“Here you are,” you say. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

Zane smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “Would you mind washing the lettuce and preparing the salad ingredients?”

“Sure thing,” you respond, grinning.

“Thank you, my love. Your help does not go unappreciated.”

“You’re very welcome,” you reply, sneaking in a kiss to his metallic cheek before you head over to the fridge, grabbing all of the items you’ll need. Once you’re prepared, you begin running the lettuce heads underneath cold water, resuming your hum.

A few minutes later, you notice that a song you enjoy begins playing from your speaker. A small smile creeps across your lips as you feel Zane sneaking his arms around your waist, his chest pressing into your back. He buries his chin into the crook of your neck.

“You enjoy this song, correct?”

“I do,” you reply, relaxing against him.

“In that case, may I have this dance?”

He separates from you, offering his hand. You giggle slightly as you accept his hand. “Of course.”

His larger hand envelops yours quite easily, and he pulls you close as he settles one hand around your waist. The two of you begin swaying to the beat.

Zane pulls away shortly after, his grasp on your hand remaining. He lifts your hand above your hand, prompting you to twirl. You giggle slightly. As classy as Zane is, he could still be such a dork in his own way sometimes.

Soon enough, the song ends and you’re left in Zane’s embrace.

“That was fun!” you chirp, smiling.

“I agree,” he responds, bending down so he can kiss you again.

“You are so cute,” you gush, pulling him in for a hug.

“I am not cute. You are the adorable one.”

“Hush, you. Let’s finish up, yeah?”

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍! 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚊𝚐𝚘 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗; 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘!

#ninjago #ninjago x reader #zane x reader #reader insert #request #requests open

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chubb-e-cheese · 2 years

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Hello! First off, I love your blog and all the plus-size positivity! 😭🙌🏽

I’m reaching out because I’ve noticed throughout my entire life that I am never approached by the gender I’m attracted to but the friend I’m with always does. I’m always the friend that has to stand their awkwardly while my friend gets hit on. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for my friends each time (if they want it). But it’s getting to the point where I’m starting to doubt myself. Like, why does no one ever approach me? My friends tell me I have rbf or I’m not approachable. I don’t know. I guess I’m just getting sad about it. I’ve tried to change my rbf and smile when I make eye contact but nothings changed.

Growing up, I was never anyone’s choice either. I was always the big, black girl. I thought this would change once I got out of my hometown and grew up but it hasn’t. I’m never anyone’s choice. I’ve also noticed than I’m never the person a friend will try to set up or suggest to someone that I may bond with. So it feels like no one wants me and no one I know thinks about me. I’ve even had family that will set up my friends with someone I’d be interested in and then tell me, “oh sorry I didn’t even think of giving them your info.” Like okay, ouch. I don’t really think I had a question tbh. I just wanted to vent and get your opinion on being wanted. Sorry for the word vomit!

Hey hun!

I know that it’s a terrible position to be in. You’re left out at the sidelines for so long that you can’t help but feel unwanted and unappreciated. Believe me that many people (myself included!) feel that way.

I think, especially when going out, we tend to get too in our heads about this and it affects how we ultimately come across. I’ve genuinely only ever been hit on/talked to when I was not even thinking about that and just enjoying time with my friends and laughing and stuff.

Personally I find both online and irl stuff hard, but maybe online dating is a good place to start!

And about feeling left out as a friend: if a friend won’t give you the same energy that you give them, you need to find ppl who will love and cherish you not just as a last option. It usually takes time to build that kind of friendship tho.

If someone has anything to add, pls feel free! I hope knowing that you’re not alone in this kinda helped xx

#asks #ask me

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chattingwiththelightkeeper · 2 years

Text

Magical Manners

Growing up, I consider myself to be lucky that my parents were sticklers for making sure I knew how to behave in a civilized manner, and there were moments when I minded my manners, even at times when there might have been a reason to let them slide. Here in the D/S lifestyle, there is a group of d-types that I joking refer to as having ‘constipated dom face’ and these people, mostly male dominants, have profile pictures where they are unsmiling, trying to look stern or maybe demanding, and in my opinion, their facial expression appears to be what they might look like if they are suffering a bout of severe constipation. I also know that not all of these backed-up-looking d-types are like this as many dominants might be smiling away in their profile might suffer from this ‘affliction’ as well. So I want to talk about two polite words that I feel have often overlooked place in the lifestyle and one general life reminder here.

First, I want to talk about a powerful P-word, and no you pervert I am not talking about the power of pussy or golden showers should that be your jam. The word I am referencing is, please. Sometimes it feels to me that dominants refrain from using please when giving their submissive a directive and that somehow by saying please it is turning the direction into a request rather than something required. Part of me feels that I should not have to say this but, I am going to anyway. I find that submissives are wired with a desire to make their d-type happy so I do not feel that it is needed for a dominant order their s-type around sternly and without the magic word of, please. While there are times a d-type will need to be stern and direct, most of the time saying “Today would you please…” or “I would like it if you could do X for me please” will be understood as a directive by the submissive but yet done in a way that is kind, caring, and shows a nice level of class often missing from the world today.

The opposite of please is saying thank you. While submissives will want to do as their dominant desires, I believe d-types should still recognize and appreciate the effort an s-type has made doing as they were asked. The simple act of acknowledging the work a submissive has put in with a thank you for doing, especially at the end of the day and/or week reinforces that the dominant is aware and has noticed what their amazing s-type has done for and at the request of the d-type. The simple act of saying thank you is not only good manners but a positive way to remind a submissive that their dedication has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. This little thing will, in my opinion, help a D/S partnership grow stronger over time and keep a submissive from feeling unappreciated which can lead to feelings of being unwanted or even worse, unloved.

While it is true that a D/S relationship is a serious business, it can seem that d-types to are super serious all the time forget that every human has a fatal flaw. This imperfection is that everyone is going to die. Everyone reading this today has this imperfection and no matter what we do, how hard we try, life is going to kill each one of us. In many cases, this happens all too soon. With this in mind, all of us need to remember that life is short and to do our best to enjoy the heck out of it. While D/S is serious, there is no reason to keep the fun out of our lifestyle partnerships. Dominants, please make your submissive smile, laugh, and enjoy life with them because our time here on the third rock from the sun is limited. Make it part of your job to do your best to make your relationship not only rewarding but filled with laughter, joy, and do your darndest to make the tears that come with a partnership be ones of joy and not sadness. Life does hand all of us serious and trying times, endeavor to make the time you have with a partner be amazing and happy rather than sober and stern. There is a saying that happiness comes in waves, so d-types work to be your submissive’s surfing teacher and ride the joyful swells together.

Even in the most trying times, feel that dominants need to mind their manners by using the magic words of please and thank you even when behind closed doors with their submissive. While life will bring times for seriousness, d-types can still mind their manners while leading their submissive to reach for the stars. Finally, remember that none of us are going to make it out of life alive, so endeavor to make your partner’s day, every day. Manners and happiness may seem like they are in decline but these little acts can make all the difference in your relationship.

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2022

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chainofclovers · 3 years

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Ted Lasso 2x7 Thoughts

“Headspace” is a very apt name for this episode, in which we learned almost no new information about the characters in Ted Lasso but learned a great deal about the way many characters’ brains work.

Most of the episodes this season have been so full of new information (if you wanna know something about how my brain works, the critique that early s2 episodes lack conflict does not compute), so full of dramatic irony (Sam and Rebecca don’t realize they’re messaging each other on Bantr! Rebecca’s voicemail to Ted doesn’t actually indicate that she spent a significant portion of time panicking and looking for him!), and misunderstandings that it was really nice to spend a bit over thirty minutes on an episode with very easily mappable plotlines.

Ted and Sharon and Therapy

Ordinarily in my little recaps I talk about the characters as real people making their own decisions, because every character on this show feels very real. But I have to take a minute to just, like, celebrate the acting in these scenes. Sarah Niles and Jason Sudeikis brought the perfect energy to each of their three scenes in Dr. Sharon’s office.

The drinking bird toy! The way he switches from nodding along with it to shaking his head no while the bird continues to shake its head yes, just like Ted shook his head no while saying yes, they should hire a sports psychologist! The way he finally stills the bird in the final therapy scene in the episode...but performatively throws the tissue box.

(Someone is going to need those tissues, Ted. It might be you.)

I also LOVE that this is the first time we see Sharon in an extended scene that takes place in a session. We’ve seen her rapport with the players, we’ve seen the results, and we’ve seen the things she does to make someone feel comfortable at the start of a session, and that’s all the information WE need to know to feel confident in her excellence as a psychologist. But because Ted hasn’t been able to fully appreciate those things, it’s so fitting that his sessions are a time for us to learn more about Sharon’s approach along with him.

It’s just...such good acting. The way she tells him he doesn’t need to worry. The kind of charming (but not performatively charming, just...charming) smile on his face when he claims he knows he doesn’t need to worry. And the way his voice changes a little as the conversations progress—deeper, less controlled, with some very genuine Midwestern “ma’am”s.

Sam and Rebecca and Awkwardness

Sam and Rebecca were so awkward when talking to each other in the hallway! If I had been in that hallway I would have been physically unable to stop myself from doing something even more awkward and diverting to make it stop. (I say this as someone who is neither disgusted by or delighted by the direction of the Bantr storyline. This is a good story about two good people who are in very different places in their lives existing in both a manufactured connection and the real, and very different, connection they have when they aren’t glued to their phones. This story is supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable.)

I did like the parallels of their friends sort of urging them on/coaching them through the inherent panic of the three dots that appear and disappear—a source of panic whether you’re the one creating the dots on the other screen or watching them and feeling at their mercy.

I like that in this episode both Ted and Rebecca are loudly broadcasting “I AM NOT IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE FOR A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP”—Ted with his rueful awareness that Michelle would be upset if she heard him still referring to her as his wife, Rebecca with her insistence that relationships are doomed and awful even though she’s talking to two people (Keeley and Higgins) in committed relationships.

Roy and Keeley and Space

This plot was a really wonderful...counterpoint? complement? to the places both Ted and Rebecca are in as Ted starts to come to terms with the fact that he’s going to have to deal with his past and the losses he’s suffered (including the loss of his marriage) and as Rebecca questions whether she’s really going to embark on the next phase of a relationship with someone whose identity she does not know.

Because Ted and Rebecca are stuck apart, it was great to see Keeley struggle with needing space from Roy without worrying for a second about whether or not this challenge was a threat to their relationship. (Keeley and Roy aren’t used to long haul relationships, so they both see it as a threat, but the audience doesn’t have to.)

There was so much going on in that boot room. I love the coexisting realities there—Rebecca and Keeley and Higgins treating the boot room as their personal room for secret smoking, but as the crowd grows all these other unspoken dynamics emerge (it’s been two days since the panic attack and this is the first time we see Ted and Rebecca in the same room and there’s no evidence that they’ve talked about what happened with the panic attack or Rebecca’s parents or any of the big stuff).

Everything about Keeley’s plotline this episode reminded me of how Ted and Keeley are so similar (and, to a lesser extent, Rebecca and Roy are so similar). Rebecca and Roy both tend to write things off (Rebecca is so certain any relationship she has will be doomed, but it’s just because of how hurt she already is; Roy wanted to convince himself he was happier as a pundit than as a coach, but it’s just because he was scared of how much he wanted to be back on on the pitch), only able to deal with things when a safe person like Ted or Keeley sort of startles growth out of them. (We talk a lot about how Rebecca should be in therapy, but Roy should too.) And Ted and Keeley! Everything’s great, everything’s sunny, but look at how Keeley stands on her couch and screams in sadness and anger when she blows up at Roy and he leaves.

This time, things work out between Roy and Keeley because he figures out what Keeley was trying to communicate and respects what she needs, but in the future she’s going to have to figure out how to articulate herself more clearly. (And so will Ted...not only in therapy with Sharon, but as everything with the other coaches and the team and Will and basically everyone in his life come to light.)

Nate and Beard and Twitter-Insecurity-Rage

Ahhhhhhhhh.

This plotline made me feel almost as nervous for Ted (the things he doesn’t know) and Beard (the things he knows) as it did for Nate and Colin and Will and everyone.

At first I was really bothered by the repetition of Nate checking Twitter. We know! He’s on Twitter a lot now that he’s semi-famous! He’s obsessed! But then it occurred to me that it’s extremely perfect that Nate checking Twitter becomes this silent refrain building him up or tearing him down based on the latest 280-character compliment or take-down. Because this is how the internet works! You get obsessed with something on it and then check it a million times per day until you feel sick. It could be a dating app, or a trending story, or almost anything. If you check it often enough, the internet won’t even have anything truly new for you...it just feels like it does. So the repetition of Nate scrolling Twitter wasn’t meant to deliver us new information, but rather to mimic the old information coming through again and again.

I feel so deeply for Nate, who’s brilliant about football but unfit to coach because the power dynamics of coaching are a totally foreign concept to someone like him, who relies entirely on external inputs to take his actions. Ted and Beard and Roy all go and learn things and bring them back to the pitch, but none of them have had the capacity to teach Nate how to do this. Even Nate’s private thoughts, which he wrote down during s1, only come to light when Ted prompts him. And when your external inputs are coming from social media and an unappreciative father and a hyper-awareness of insult after years spent on the receiving end of bullying...it’s very dangerous. Maybe even literally physically dangerous.

I also feel so deeply for everyone who interacts with Nate right now, particularly Will.

Some Bonus but Never Extraneous Trent Crimm

Trent in the pub made me NERVOUS. Seeing him in this new place where Ted goes to wind down, almost coaching Ted through lying to him about having had food poisoning?! When they both clearly know that isn’t what happened?!?

It felt very fitting that this uncomfortable yet kind-of-mercifully-executed lie takes place towards the end of an episode full of such positive and negative growth for the characters. Such movement. It felt all wrong (in a good way), like covering something new and smooth and precious with spackle because maybe you actually wanna paint something else after all even though it won’t serve you in the long run to do it. To paraphrase Dr. Sharon, the truth will set you free but first it will piss you off, and Ted’s conversation with Trent is a reminder of all the layers there are to cut through on the way to the truth.

If Apple TV could simply release 2x8 - 2x12 this week, I would bargain with something crazy and miserable like giving up caffeine until October 8, the air date for the season finale. I continue to love this season and to feel the serenity of watching excellent actors execute on excellent scripts...but we’re getting to the point where the momentum’s built up and is heading to ever-scarier places, and I neeeeeeeeeed to knoooooooow.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #meta by me #ted lasso 2x7 #a lesbian watches ted lasso

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theheartofrelationshipcounseling · 1 year

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