#The Mysterious Mr. Jeeves

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

A list of Poptropica characters who hated life at some point? :D

Top 30 Poptropicans who hated their life at some point.

[v-thinks-on]

My offers for this year’s FTH auction!

Type of fanwork: Written - Fanfic Fandom(s): Sherlock Holmes: Arthur Conan Doyle stories, A Study in Emerald; Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century, X-Men (comics or movies), Ace Attorney Highest rating: T (Teen) Length/scope: Less than 5k words

Especially interested in: I love established relationships, hurt/comfort, and working through trauma. Also crossovers. Holmes/Watson: I’ve been thinking about putting them in horror or fantastical situations. I also love the role reversal of Holmes trying to care for Watson, whether early in their relationship or in retirement around WWI. Or maybe Holmes reconnecting with Victor Trevor. Magneto/Professor X: I especially like their later relationship, being there for each other despite years of animosity. I’m also fond of First Class, and the idea of Magneto getting used to the mundanities of normal life. In addition, I’m Jewish and bring that perspective to writing Magneto. Phoenix/Edgeworth: A newer fandom for me and a bit more wide open, happy to write something based on canon or an AU (as long as DL-6 stays roughly intact). I’d also be interested in writing Kirk/Spock (TOS only), Superman/Batman (but not DCEU), Jeeves/Wooster, Satterthwaite/Quin (Agatha Christie), Yugi/Yami Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh), Takao/Midorima (Kuroko’s Basketball).

Unwilling to address: I’m pretty set on my ships and would like to focus on them, though I’m fine with open relationships and including friendships with other characters. I also don't write NSFW or noncon of any kind (including drunken confessions and the like), pining isn’t my cup of tea, and I’d rather not do something with an unhappy ending. X-Men - I'm not really interested in the new continuity movies after First Class or complete AUs that don’t include Magneto and Professor X’s canon roles in mutant politics (or something similar). Ace Attorney - I’ve only played the first three games, so I’m not really equipped to write anything that involves elements from later games.

Notes: One of the reasons I’m excited to contribute to FTH is because I’ve been a little short on ideas of my own lately, so I would especially encourage you to bid if you already have an idea (the more detailed, the better) for a story you’d love to see, but just don’t want to write yourself, or would enjoy brainstorming with me to come up with a story that’s tailored to your tastes. I can also be a little picky in regard to tropes, so expect a bit of a brainstorming process in any case to come up with something that we both love. The more involved you are, the more motivated I’ll be, so the faster the project will come together and the more I’m likely to write.

Type of fanwork: Fan Labor - Betaing Fandom(s): Any Highest rating: M (Mature) Length/scope: 1 round of edits on 1k words per $1 bid (more flexible for brainstorming)

Notes about labor offered: I do a very thorough edit for wording and flow, and can also help with brainstorming and hammering out plot and characters. For shorter stories (or a larger donation), I’m happy to do multiple rounds to get it perfect. The main exceptions are I can't cheerlead, and I'm better at sentence flow than grammar.

Especially interested in: I have a particular love of historical fandoms and antiquated prose, but I’m broadly happy with most genres, romance or gen, and am happy to edit for ships and fandoms I’m not familiar with.

Unwilling to address: I can't edit sex scenes, but am happy to read around them, and I would prefer nothing too violent, no noncon, nor teacher/student pairings. I'm also more picky in fandoms that I'm closer to, so unless you think it aligns closely with my work and would benefit from my particular perspective on the characters, or is a very distant AU, I'd be hesitant to edit Holmes/Watson, Kirk/Spock, or Jeeves/Wooster. Pining is also not really for me, so I might not be the best person for editing it.

[eirinstiva]

Heavy heart

What-ho!

We Woosters are men of iron, but beneath my intrepid exterior at that moment there lurked a nameless dread.

I lost count of how many times Bertie has said "we Woosters" so far.

Poor Bertie! He has to deal with Aunt Agatha again! and for so long!

The result being that she regards me as a worm and an outcast and would gladly drop something on me from a high window. Am I right or wrong, Jeeves?” “Perfectly correct, sir.”

Your self-esteem is really low, dear Bertie. Also receiving a telegram without name is a good mystery to keep yourself entertained.

Remember when you come here absolutely vital meet perfect strangers.

Ok, this is too mysterious.

What could go wrong with some days with Aunt Agatha, Bingo Little, no alcohol and no smoking? Oh, right. Bertie has to impress someone... A new engagement is coming? Sorry Mr. Wooster. You can run away from Aunt Agatha :(

On another point:

At the last moment before she sailed to America, Rosie decided that I had better stay behind and look after the Peke. She left me a couple of hundred quid to see me through till her return. This sum, judiciously expended over the period of her absence, would have been enough to keep the Peke and myself in moderate affluence. But you know how it is.”

What did you do, Bingo Little?

“You mean you planked the entire capital on a horse?” Bingo laughed bitterly.

Ricardo Pablo Gilberto de las Mercedes Facundo Little

RICHARD P. LITTLE!

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON A HORSE???

Rosie is the dearest girl in the world; but if you were a married man, Bertie, you would be aware that the best of wives is apt to cut up rough if she finds that her husband has dropped six weeks’ housekeeping money on a single race. Isn’t that so, Jeeves?” “Yes, sir. Women are odd in that respect.”

Your wife works hard writing those books so you both could have a house and all those servants? Why didn't you spend it on food, cigarettes and alcohol like usual? And now you're asking for Jeeves help? Bingo never learn. NEVER.

[the-dust-jacket]

Hello. I've already read the Kingston Cycle, Half a Soul and I'm about to finish the Stariel books. Do you have more recommendations? Thank you in advance.

Oh absolutely!

A Matter of Magic, by Patricia C. Wrede (for cross-country Regency romps, rogues, magicians, spies, and Ladies of Quality)

A Marvellous Light, by Freya Marske (for murder and mystery and secret Edwardian wizardry, romance, grand old houses and creepy curses)

Spellbound, by Allie Therin (for forbidden love, found family, and frightening magic in 1920s New York)

Shades of Milk and Honey, by Mary Robinette Kowal (for frothy and impeccably evocative Regency magic)

Sorcerer to the Crown, by Zen Cho (for schemes both magical and mundane and the world of fairy crossing into the world of the tonne)

To Say Nothing of the Dog, by Connie Willis (for laugh-out-loud time travel shenanigans and questionable Victorian aesthetic choices)

Soulless, by Gail Carriger (for vampire assassins, werewolf aristocrats, interrupted tea time, and other terrible inconveniences which may beset a young lady)

A little darker:

The Magpie Lord, by KJ Charles (for semi-secret magical society, creepy family estate, steamy romance all in an Extremely Victorian Gothic setting)

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke (clever and deeply atmospheric tour of a magical 19th century England, but definitely not romance)

Salt Magic, Skin Magic, by Lee Welch (for curses and magical bonds and frightening fairies)

Widdershins, by Jordan L Hawk (for Gilded Age mystery and romance featuring Lovecraftian horror and humor)

More fantasy:

Uprooted, by Naomi Novik (for fairytale magic and whimsy, adventure and romance and creepy trees)

Seducing the Sorcerer, by Lee Welch (for wizard fashion, romance and humor and whimsical magic)

Stardust, by Neil Gaiman (for wild romps in the fairyland next door, alternately humorous and haunting)

More historical:

The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles (for saucy Regency romance and determined social scheming)

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons (for dry humor, wacky hijinx, and extended family shenanigans)

Hither Page or The Missing Page by Cat Sebastian (village and manor house mysteries respectively, featuring lots of queer romance and found family with a dash of jaded post-war espionage)

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith (for yearning and laughs and first love and an eccentric family living in an increasingly run down castle)

A little farther from the brief, but might be worth checking out On Vibes:

The Left Handed Booksellers of London, by Garth Nix

The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, by Diana Wynne Jones

His Majesty's Dragon, by Naomi Novik (more Regency fantasy, but full on Age of Sail adventure rather than comedy of manners, romance, or secret magic)

Among Others, by Jo Walton

Arabella of Mars, by David D. Levine

A Natural History of Dragons, by Marie Brennan

It also sounds like a Georgette Heyer or Jeeves and Wooster binge would be really fun right now!

[huanglaoshu]

I saw her off and returned to where Jeeves kept his vigil in the car, all smiles. I was all smiles, I mean, not Jeeves. The best he ever does is to let his mouth twitch slightly on one side, generally the left. I was in rare fettle, and the heart had touched a new high. I don't know anything that braces one up like finding you haven't got to get married after all. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Jeeves," I said. "Hope you weren't bored?" "Oh no, sir, thank you. I was quite happy with my Spinoza." "Eh?" "The copy of Spinoza's Ethics which you kindly gave me some time ago." "Oh, ah, yes, I remember. Good stuff?" "Extremely, sir." "I suppose it turns out in the end that the butler did it. Well, Jeeves, you'll be glad to hear that everything's under control."

--Jeeves in the Offing, chapter 11

"In the meantime, pigeonholing that for the moment, did Miss Cook and Mr. Porter have their conference all right?" "Yes, sir, they conversed for some time." "In low, throbbing voices?" "No, sir, the voices of both lady and gentleman became noticeably raised." "Odd. I thought lovers generally whispered." "Not when an argument is in progress, sir." "Good Lord. Did they haven an argument?" "A somewhat acrimonious one, sir, plainly audible in the kitchen, where I was reading the volume of Spinoza which you so kindly gave me for Christmas. The door happened to be ajar." "So you were an ear-witness?" "Throughout, sir." "Tell me all, Jeeves."

--Aunts Aren't Gentlemen, chapter 9

I would gladly have continued our conversation, but I knew he must be wanting to get back to his Spinoza. No doubt I had interrupted him just as Spinoza was on the point of solving the mystery of the headless body on the library floor.

--Aunts Aren't Gentlemen, chapter 9

[what-ho-internet]

dear bertie,

if it isn't too impertinent then I'd like to ask: what's going on with you at the moment? have you got any next big schemes on the agenda?

We thus move away from the contretemps matter of my 'fat ass'.

My dear anonymous fellow,

You are only as impertinent as I might be myself! And this I shall reward. Aunt Dahlia made an appearance to me Wednesday last and has asked me something which has begged a ‘scheme’ –often, my agendas are indeed begged of me by relative or circumstance rather than me having a naturally mysterious demeanour. Jeeves has just read that over my shoulder and made a minute exhale from his nose, which is his equivalent of chortling at my expense. I shall ignore this and proceed. I cannot afford to lose an ally such as him, especially in regard to this particular situation.

The long and short of it is this: Aunt Dahlia has encountered this blog by what she calls ‘providence’ and I call ‘the cruel hand of lady fate.’ She has decided that if I am fit to write it, then I should be fit to write her an agony aunt column for Milady’s Boudoir, her cherished magazine. Some of you may have heard of it. I have no desire to do this, as the shop I run on-line is a hobby, as well as somewhat a paying-back in which I excersise responsibility to my fellow man.

This is not to mention that she has asked me to do this without receiving a wage!

We (that is, me and the good man Jeeves) have conspired thusly: I shall give nothing but the worst advice to my immediate friends, all the while restricting Aunt Dahlia from seeing this blog. (I shall blame technical difficulties. Why she is on the internet in the first place confuses and astounds me greatly.) The largest blow shall be when Jeeves orchestrates a false phone-call, in which a man named Mr. Bunbury will have lost his inheritance as a result of my word, when she comes to tea on Friday afternoon. (I do hope that you appreciate the Earnest reference, my readers.)

I shall report back on the results of this ‘scheme,’ as you call it, but have every faith in the results.

[lesbworth]

10 characters 10 fandoms

let's gaur

thank you @moff-times for tagging me :)

miles edgeworth - ace attorney

der tod - elisabeth das musical

mrs danvers - rebecca by daphne du maurier/rebecca das musical

bunny manders - raffles

l lawliet - death note

hilary tamar - the hilary tamar mysteries

sherlock holmes - the sherlock holmes stories, all adaptations

basil hallward - the picture of dorian gray

bertie wooster - jeeves & wooster

havelock vetinari - discworld

my hermitlike existence on tumblr means i basically have no-one to tag that hasn't already been tagged by times or tantive </3 LMAO

also this is so short for a list of characters AUGH rem my bestie i'm so sorry i had to leave you out

[saxifactumterritum]

so far the movie in my head where Jeeves is a private investigator and Bertie Wooster is his rich hanger-on slash boytoy slash nuissance who Just Shows Up:

they meet when Bertie Wooster is playing a rich person game of steal an item then you have to wear it in public for at least an hour (i watched 'The Manhood of Edward Robinson' on a old TV show 'the Agatha Christie Hour' and they play this game and it was chaotic), and Jeeves accidentally on purpose aids and abets him in his 'crime', and Bertie Wooster is for a long time under the impression that Jeeves is a Real Life Jewel Thief (due to shenanigans and misunderstandings, Jeeves doesn't realise it's a game at first, and then ends up absconding with the necklace, so Bertie concludes he was a real thief).

It was a diamond necklace Bertie Wooster stole like in the TV show, he had meant to steal something a gentleman might wear but there was a difficulty and he ended up with the jewels and now he had to dress up as a lady to wear the thing and then him and Jeeves dance since, as Jeeves pointed out, no one would possibly suspect Bertie Wooster wasn't a women so where was the harm?

I got super distracted by this meeting and mostly the movie has just been them flirting and cross-dressing so far, Bertie Wooster thinking Jeeves is a mysterious thief, and Jeeves thinking Bertie Wooster has fluff for brains and if absolutely daffy but swept up in the whole thing and enjoying himself imensely. Usually he's looking for lost cats, here he is getting to use his brain to help this twink escape from justice, much more fun.

Bertie Wooster realises who Jeeves truly is when Jeeves' niece takes him along to a society party with Biffy and Bertie Wooster et al. Bertie Wooster always sort of thinks it would be romantical if Jeeves WAS a thief of mystery, but also watching him masterfully solve a real burglery the night of the party is, Bertie Wooster is ok with this version also.

the main other scene is they are playing poker (Bertie Wooster is terrible at it) (Jeeves is excellent) (Bertie Wooster being terrible helps Jeeves win a lot of money) (they are a team) (a team where Bertie Wooster doesn't need to have a poker face or be good at cards), they are investigating something but they don't know what, it was all mysterious Jeeves just had to Show Up To A Thing.

I say 'they', in fact Jeeves showed up as per mysterious letter, Bertie Wooster was just there. He is pretending not to know Jeeves since Jeeves did not invite him along for the case and he is Sulking. He drinks a spiked drink or something idk but everyone is trying to get him not to slide off chairs or sing or maybe he should go to bed? eventually Jeeves is like, long suffering, 'I will deal with this, he does know me. Very well, in fact. Come on, Mr Wooster'.

And Bertie Wooster is like 'ah yes, my mysterious thief' and Jeeves is like 'please stop telling people I'm a thief' and Bertie Wooster is like 'my thief' and Jeeves is like 'I am neither a thief nor yours, I think you are mistaking me for a WOMAN, sir', pointedly, since they are in company in the 1920s so not out, and everyone laughs uproariously 'Bertie, a woman?! not on your life, Mr Jeeves, he might be mistaking you, but not for a WOMAN!' cus they all know Bertie Wooster is a queer. That's all the scene so far.

I think of them in the city and big country houses, but maybe they go out to the country, like Miss Marple stories.

Did anyone ever read Ngaio Marsh books with Roderick Alleyn and Nigel Bathgate? I think investigator!Jeeves and Bertie Wooster would have a similar dynamic. but gayer of course.

Jeeves was a valet before he became a private investigator, and at least one time they go 'undercover' as a gentleman and valet. In that investigation they probably swap places, half the guests think Jeeves is Bertie Wooster, which I think would be hilarious.

[teachingmycattoread]

Things We’ve Yelled About This Episode #3.1

The Inimitable Jeeves, P. G. Wodehouse

The great vowel shift (wiki)

“ “Bertie, we were at school together.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“We’ve been pals for fifteen years.”

“I know. It’s going to take me the rest of my life to live it down.” “- The Inimitable Jeeves, Chapter 17: Bingo and the Little Woman; P.G. Wodehouse

This post

“ “Jeeves,” I said, “those spats.”

“Yes, sir?”

“You really dislike them?”

“Intensely, sir.”

“You don’t think time might induce you to change your view?”

“No, sir.”

“All right, then. Very well. Say no more. You may burn them.”

“Thank you very much, sir. I have already done so. Before breakfast this morning. A quiet grey is far more suitable, sir. Thank you, sir.” “ - The Inimitable Jeeves, Chapter 16: The Delayed Exit of Claude and Eustace; P. G. Wodehouse

Downton Abbey (2010-2015)

Jane Austen

The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, The Untamed (2019) 

Jeeves and Wooster (1990-1993)

Stephen Fry (imdb)

Hugh Laurie (imdb)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984-1985)

Jeremy Brett (imdb)

Fairies Aren’t Gentlemen, amarguerite (ao3)

K. J. Charles

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, Susanna Clarke

The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald

“ “You will find Mr Wooster,” he was saying to the new chappie, “an exceedingly pleasant and amiable young gentleman, but not intelligent. By no means intelligent. Mentally he is negligible - quite negligible.” - The Inimitable Jeeves, Chapter 5: The Pride of the Woosters is Wounded; PG. Wodehouse

“Just what occurred then I couldn’t exactly say, but the next few minutes were a bit exciting. I take it that Cyril must have made a dive for the infant. Anyway, the air seemed pretty well congested with arms and legs and things. Something bumped into the Wooster waistcoat just around the third button, and I collapsed on to the settee and rather lost interest in things for the moment. When I had unscrambled myself…” The Inimitable Jeeves, Chapter 10: Startling Dressiness of a Lift Attendant; P.G. Wodehouse

Lord Peter Wimsey, Bunter; characters from the Lord Peter Wimsey mystery series, Dorothy L. Sayers

As My Wimsey Takes Me (podcast)

Dublin Murder Squad series, Tana French

The Once and Future King, T. H. White

The Sword in the Stone, T. H. White

Spats (wiki)

The trial of Oscar Wilde (wiki)

Street smarts! From John Mulaney’s Kid Gorgeous at Radio City (2018)

Leverage (2008-2012)

The meat pumpkin (article)

Coco Chanel (wiki) and her collaboration with the Nazis (wiki)

“Take one accessory off” - fashion advice attributed to Coco Chanel (quote)

Temeraire series, Naomi Novik

A Wook:

A Goth:

The Cat Rating

9/10

What Else Are We Reading

Discworld, Terry Pratchett

Nigel Planer (imdb)

Nigel Planer Discworld audiobooks (audible)

Dublin Murder Squad, Tana French

In the Woods, Tana French

Britain After Rome, Robin Fleming

The Silmarillion, J. R. R. Tolkien

Beowulf

Next Time On Teaching My Cat To Read

Howl’s Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones

The audiobook

[lenetaylor]

The Kellys - Paul McCartney's domestics

George and Gwen Kelly were employed by Paul McCartney for about a year (1966) at his house at Cavendish. The circumstances of their leaving are somewhat mysterious. Here's all the information on them that I could gather from public sources.

Paul bought the house at 7 Cavendish Ave on 13 April 1965 for £40,000. He then spent about £20,000 to renovate and redecorate, finally moving (from the Ashers' house on Wimpole Street) in March 1966. The house had (has) a basement, which served as living quarters for servants, a ground floor, and two floors above it. On the ground floor Paul installed an open-plan kitchen and a formal dining room.

In Paul McCartney: The Life by Philip Norman (2016), he writes: "Paul’s brief to the Adamses [the designers] was the strangest they’d ever received, or ever would again; he said he wanted the kind of house where a smell of cabbage floated up from the basement...In fact, the house had no basement from which cosy cabbage-smells could waft to its upper storeys." 100% wrong: The house does have a basement, and you can see the windows to the basement in some photos. This was a standard design for houses at the time, with the main kitchen in the basement along with quarters for some of the staff. This is where the Kellys lived.

Even though he gets that wrong, we'll continue with Norman's book:

In those same Sunday colour supplements one could read how, if traditional domestic servants might have no place in the egalitarian Sixties, wealthy young bachelors often employed a live-in married couple, usually Spanish, the husband combining the roles of butler and chauffeur, the wife cooking and keeping house. Paul started out at 7 Cavendish Avenue with just such a couple, albeit Irish rather than Spanish and with the reassuring Liverpool-echoey name of Kelly. When he hired them, he gave warning that his household would be anything but a conventional one, and defined their main role as just ‘to fit in’. He soon discovered the drawback in having domestic servants, as noted by writers like Harold Nicolson back in the Victorian country house era: there are always people standing around, eavesdropping on your conversations, obliging you to shut the toilet door (all the more irksome if you’re fond of sitting there, playing guitar) and generally behave as if you’re in an hotel rather than at home. Mr Kelly, evidently seeing himself as Jeeves to Paul’s Bertie Wooster, would ceremonially lay out his young master’s clothes for the day ahead until firmly dissuaded. Pop star pals who stayed overnight, and expected to be left comatose until after noon, would instead be briskly roused by Mr Kelly with early morning tea. On the big dining-room table, he placed a display of silverware whose highly-polished formality was too much even for Paul; to annoy them, he’d take out the ornate silver cruet and put a cheap plastic one in its place.

The "to fit in" quote is from a short piece that appeared in the London Sunday Times on September 18 1966, by Hunter Davies, titled "ATTICVS: All Paul":

Paul McCartney was in his new mansion in St. John's Wood. He lives alone. A Mr. and Mrs. Kelly look after him. Nothing so formal as a housekeeper and butler. Their job, he says, is just to fit in.

Barry Miles, in Many Years From Now (1997), picks up the silver cruet story:

There was a large dining table with an antique lace tablecloth, which was always beautifully set with all the appropriate cutlery, but it had a plastic salt cellar and pepper shaker in the centre. Paul owned silver ones but insisted on using the cheap ones, mainly to annoy the housekeeper, Mrs Kelly, and her husband, who had previously worked for gentry and let it be known, not very subtly, that they regarded their new position as a step down in the world. The husband had initially attempted to continue his role as gentleman's gentleman by laying out Paul's clothes each morning until Paul made it abundantly clear that this was not required. Every time they set the table the silver cruet was laid and each time Paul replaced it with the plastic one. Paul fired them for selling their story to an Australian magazine... “I had this live-in couple called the Kellys who would wake you up early in the morning like everything was just going normally and we had just stayed up all night and it was like, 'Go away please!'”

Nicholas Schaffner's book The Beatles Forever (1977) has this information from George Kelly:

George Kelly, a veteran of 16 years of service in the Royal Army who went on to become butler and chauffeur at some of Britain’s most stately homes before being hired by Paul McCartney in 1966, recalls with distaste in his memoirs having to bring morning tea for two to Paul’s bedroom when Jane was away, and having to endure the sight of the Beatle stubbing out ciggies on his silver Ivor Novello awards. But nothing seems to have unhinged Kelly more that the time he accidentally stumbled in on “one of the most bizarre scenes I have ever witnessed. There, in front of the television set, were the highest-paid pop group in the world and their manager, bowing down and salamming, chanting and dancing with one another!” Kelly recalls making his way through the billowing incense and flashing colored strobelights to give Paul a message, but “nobody took the slightest notice of me. They were all on their own little clouds. So as the Eastern music…grew louder, I just left the room quietly.” Shortly afterward, the butler handed in his notice, but not before receiving lectures from his employer about the benefits of LSD: “Your whole life flashes before you and you realize all the mistakes you have made.” (p. 76)

Schaffner says this is from Kelly's "memoirs", but I can't find any evidence of these memoirs being published. It's possible Schaffner had access to an unpublished manuscript; the quotes certainly read like something written, not an interview.

In addition to serving morning tea at noon and whatever else they were doing, they had to deal with the endless stream of fans. At Meet the Beatles For Real, Carol Bedford talks about visiting London in the summer of 1966:

“I couldn't have been there for more than two minutes when Mr. Kelly, Paul's gardener, came out screaming and waving a hoe at me. He said that Paul had just come in at 3 a.m. and needed rest. I looked up to see the curtains being rustled on the middle window of the second floor. Mrs. Kelly came out, and when asked if Paul and Jane were married, she answered, "No, of course not! That's a bunch of rubbish!"

(Lizzie Bravo added, "Funny, I remember her husband, Mr. Kelly, we called him "Stick" and he was pretty nasty but I don't remember her...")

So did they quit, or were they fired? They were gone by the end of January 1967. Here's an article published January 12, 1967 that ran in several American newspapers; this was titled "They’ve Had Enough of That Job, Thank You":

George and Gwen Kelly, who were Beatle Paul McCartney’s chauffeur and housekeeper until they quit recently, read a newspaper ad saying a Mr. Brown needed a chauffeur and housekeeper. George telephoned the employment agency that had advertised, said he and wife might be interested and asked for details. “Yes,” said the voice on the telephone. “Your prospective employer lives in St. John’s Wood—” “Did you say St. John’s Wood? We know the area very well. We’ve got friends there. We used to work in St. John’s Wood.” “And the wages are good,” said the agency man. “Go on, please,” said George. “There’ll be lots of entertaining. You will see a lot of interesting people.” “Tell me,” said George, “what sort of a chap is Mr. Brown?” There was a long pause. Then in a low, confidential voice, the agency man said: “Now, you must promise not to say anything, but Mr. Brown is really Paul McCartney—one of the Beatles, you know.” “I know,” said George. “Thank you for your trouble in answering my questions.” “When will you be coming in for an interview?” asked the agency man as George hung up. When the Kellys left McCartney, George said he and his wife thought they would be happier working for someone with more regular hours.

(They're not wrong!)

Back to Norman:

Paul’s live-in domestic couple, the Kellys, had left his employment in January 1967, after Mrs Kelly talked out of turn to an Australian newspaper, though he still hand-wrote her a reference calling her ‘efficient and trustworthy’. After trying another couple, the Millses, he found Rose Martin (no relation to George), an unflappable, unshockable woman who would serve him with irreproachable loyalty and discretion for many years to come. However, Rose was fiercely loyal to Jane, so treated Maggie with barely restrained hostility.

And back to Miles:

Paul asked his housekeepers, the Kellys, to leave after he found that they had written an article about his home life for an Australian magazine. Paul: “Mr and Mrs Kelly are looking for another place and I’m getting another couple to replace them. There have been disagreements over the running of the household. I haven’t asked them to leave instantly because that would be unreasonable.” They were replaced by Mr and Mrs Mills. (“She still hasn’t given me a tune yet,” quipped Paul, referring to popular pianist Mrs Mills.)

And then we have Mike McCartney, who has a different story - here he's talking about his photo of Paul's smashed-up face:

The fab pic was eventually stolen from Cave Avenue by a ‘butler’ and sold to an Italian mag to illustrate ‘wild Beatle drug parties in swinging London’.

(I'm pretty sure he's conflating stories here - I don't remember reading anywhere else that his photo was stolen)

The only contemporary account of their departure I can find in the newspapers is from The Daily Mirror on January 6, 1967.

Beatle’s Staff Driven Out By His Fans By Kenelm Jenour

The married couple who act as housekeeper and chauffeur to Beatle Paul McCartney have given him their notices. The reason: They could not stand the fans any more. The couple, George and Gwen Kelly, have looked after Paul at his £40,000 London home behind Lord’s cricket ground since he moved in almost a year ago. Last night, while Paul was recording with John, George, and Ringo, Mr. Kelly told me: “Paul has been a good boss. But the fans have been a terrible strain. “In fact sometimes it’s been murder. We’ve had no private life at all. “Sometimes we can’t even get into the house because of fans crowding around outside. And we get phone calls from all over the world at all hours of the night.” The Kellys, both aged 40, told Paul on Wednesday of their decision to quit. But they did not set a date for leaving. “We don’t want to leave him in the lurch,” said Gwen in their basement flat at Paul’s home. “We will probably go in four or five weeks.” Engaged Gwen, who once worked with her husband for the Lord Lieutenant of Monmouthshire, went on: “We didn’t even know Paul was a Beatle when we came here. All we knew was that we had been engaged by a Mr. Paul McCartney. “And that’s what we have always called him - ‘Mr. McCartney’ or ‘Sir.” He hates any familiarity.” One thing the Kellys stressed: They are not leaving Paul, the only bachelor Beatle because he wants to get married. “As far as we know - and we probably know him as well as anyone - he has no immediate plans to marry,” said George.

The image at the top of this post is Paul's letter of recommendation for Gwen Kelly, which was sold at auction in 1993 for £250, according to The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia by Bill Harry (2003). It seems to have been sold through Tracks Ltd. in the UK. Here's the description:

A one-page job reference for a housekeeper, Mrs. G. Kelly, who Paul McCartney employed for a brief period in the mid-sixties in his home in Cavendish Avenue, London. Mrs. Kelly resigned as housekeeper due to differences with Paul about the running of the home. The reference dates to 1967. It reads, "Mrs G Kelly, Mrs Kelly worked for me and was a very capable and trustworthy housekeeper. She is an excellent cook and generally very efficient. Paul McCartney". It comes with four black & white modern prints of photographs of Paul McCartney's home which were formerly the property of Mrs. Kelly, (3 of these depict the housekeeper on the forecourt of the house) an original newspaper clipping relating to her resignation and a modern print out of another newspaper cutting. Three of the photographs measure 9cm x 9cm (3.5 inches x 3.5 inches), the fourth measures 10.5cm x 8.5cm (4.25 inches x 3.25 inches). The photographs are not being sold with copyright. The reference letter measures 20cm x 25cm (8 inches x 10 inches). It has tears and tape stains on the folds. The condition of the letter is fair.

Back to Norman:

Paul’s live-in domestic couple, the Kellys, had left his employment in January 1967, after Mrs Kelly talked out of turn to an Australian newspaper, though he still hand-wrote her a reference calling her ‘efficient and trustworthy’. After trying another couple, the Millses, he found Rose Martin (no relation to George), an unflappable, unshockable woman who would serve him with irreproachable loyalty and discretion for many years to come. However, Rose was fiercely loyal to Jane, so treated Maggie with barely restrained hostility.

I have spent considerable time searching online for "the Australian newspaper/magazine" that the Kellys supposedly sold their story to, but I can't find anything at all. Three possibilities:

The story was published in a small paper or magazine but isn't available online or in an archive

They talked to an Australian reporter but the story was never published, perhaps due to pressure from Beatle management (Murdoch involvement? He owned many newspapers in Australia at that time)

It was a rumor that got published as truth and keeps getting recycled; they really left because the situation was intolerable

I can't find any more information about what happened to the Kellys after they left Cavendish. I would love to know the end of their story!

(Honestly, being Paul's housekeeper in 1966 sounds like the worst job in the world.)

[wewerecore]

CORE Pro #111 From An Evil Night Into A Hostile Day 09/25/22 Bloomsburg Fair Weis Markets Grandstand - Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania Attendance: 28,711 (attended the fair)

- The card opened with Brian Myers of the Cardona Family seated on the Bloomsburg Fair Skyride with VSK. Matt Cardona and Mike Knox could be seen in the Skyride chair behind theirs. Myers questioned VSK’s allegiances in tonight’s match against The Trustbusters, as he serves as the Trustbusters’ butler JeeVeS K. VSK swore his loyalty to the Cardona Family. VSK claimed his position with the Trustbusters is just a “shoot job” and strictly business, and that the Cardona Family is his blood.

Match #1

Erick Stevens vs. DJ Karl Fredericks - Erick Stevens had DJ Karl Fredericks up in fireman’s carry position and went to ram Karl headfirst into the turnbuckle, but Fredericks slipped off of Erick Stevens’ shoulders and spiked him with an implant DDT.   Winner: DJ Karl Fredericks

- CORE matchmaker Sad Badd was shown watching the Wall Of Death motorcycle show when she was confronted by Kerry Morton. Morton wanted to know what he had to do to get booked without his daddy around. He was shouting now, perhaps to be heard over the motorcycle engines or perhaps out of growing agitation, about CORE creating an entire division for old timers like his father yet the top young talent on the independent circuit can’t get bookings. Kerry claimed to be in the prime of his career yet he can’t get on a card without his washed up father. Sad Badd, who at this point had been pressed against the railing dangerously close to falling into the Wall Of Death, said the anniversary show is already booked, but she’ll see what she can do in November.

Match #2

Mysterious Q and FOR vs. The Colony (Electro Ant and Ultimo Ant) - Mysterious Q had Ultimo Ant up in the torture rack position when Electro Ant tried to make the save, but was cut off by FOR. FOR stacked Electro on top of Ultimo Ant and Mysterious Q dropped them both with the torture rack powerbomb he has begun calling the Q Drop. Winners: Mysterious Q and FOR

Match #3

The Trustbusters (Ari Daivari, Parker Boudreaux, Slim J, and Sonny Kiss) vs. The Cardona Family (Matt Cardona, Brian Myers, Mike Knox, and VSK) - The Cardona Family had isolated Slim J and were in total control of the match. VSK tagged in and was putting the boots to Slim J when from the apron Ari Daivari waved a stack of hundred dollar bills at him. VSK refused and said he’d never attack his family. Ari told his part-time butler that he didn’t have to lay a finger on the Cardonas, all he had to do was let Slim J tag out. VSK took the money and Slim J made the hot tag to Parker Boudreaux. The Trustbusters gained the advantage and eventually won with a Boudreaux choke slam on Mike Knox followed by a big splash from Daivari. Winners: The Trustbusters

Match #4

Athena vs. Maya Yukihi - Maya Yukihi had Athena in position for a tiger driver, but Athena countered by powering Yukihi back into the turnbuckles. Athena lifted Maya up in a delayed vertical suplex before dropping her over the top rope and to the floor. Athena demanded the referee count Yukihi out, and while Maya was able to roll back into the ring at nine, she was met with The O-Face and pinned. Winner: Athena

Match #5 Medicare Coverage Helpline Senior Division

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Dustin Rhodes - 2 Cold Scorpio went for his moonsault legdrop but Dustin Rhodes was able to roll out of harm’s way. Scorp scrambled back to his feet but was hit with a running bulldog headlock from Rhodes and covered for the Senior Division two count pinfall victory. Winner: Dustin Rhodes

- A clearly shaken Sad Badd was regaining her composure by the Pennsylvania Dutch Taco Stand when she was approached by CORE owner Jawad Yatim. Mr. Yatim told Sad Badd that he’s been so impressed by her matchmaking that he’s decided to invest in taking things to the next level by hiring her an assistant. Mr. Yatim said he took one look at this man’s resume and he had to have him. Mr. Yatim introduced Sad Badd to “perhaps the most experienced active pro-wrestling matchmaker in the world” and the new CORE Director Of Longterm Creative, John Williams. Behind the scene, and helicopter could be seen landing with FOR boarding.

Match #6

The Last Wave (Josh Alexander and Titus Alexander) vs. Z-Brats (SB KENTo and Shun Skywalker) - SB KENTo hit Josh Alexander with a spinebuster and locked in the SB Shooter. For the first time in months, Alexander appeared to be in real danger. Titus Alexander entered the ring and connected with a jumping knee strike to SB KENTo, but he held on. Titus Alexander hit the ropes, first impacting with Shun Skywalker and sending him from the apron to the floor, and then hitting a running elbow strike to the back of KENTo’s head. A dazed KENTo fell forward and Josh Alexander locked in a sharpshooter of his own. KENTo fought for the ropes but ultimately tapped out. Winners: The Last Wave

- In the week following the card, the CORE booking office received a mysterious letter. The letter was allegedly from two descendants of the Gaspar Brothers, a legendary family of pirates that once tormented Antonio Inoki in the rings of New Japan Pro Wrestling. News had reached them at port about the recent passing of Antonio Inoki, and after years terrorizing the high seas, this news reminded them that their family legacy extends beyond the oceans and to the squared circle. They will be arriving just in time for the CORE Anniversary show where they will do battle against another new team of grunt and groaners, Team White Wolf of Carlos Romo and Gangrel.

Upcoming Shows:

CORE Pro #112 Don't Let Our Youth Go To Waste - CORE 15th Anniversary Show 10/28/22 Penn's Peak - Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania 01. Gaspar Brothers (Bobby Gaspar and Bucky Gaspar) vs. Team White Wolf (Carlos Romo and Gangrel) 02. The Trustbusters (Ari Daivari, Parker Boudreaux, Slim J, Sonny Kiss, and DJ Karl Fredericks) vs. CORE Originals (Nate Webb, Josh Abercrombie, Cheech, Colin Olsen, and UltraMantis Black) 03. Athena and Raychell Rose vs. Mei Suruga and Emi Sakura 04. Mr. Takeshita vs. Mysterious Q 05. Medicare Coverage Helpline Senior Division: Ultimo Dragon vs. Christopher Daniels 06. The Last Wave (Josh Alexander and Titus Alexander) vs. Kamikaze USA (YAMATO and Jon Moxley)

CORE Pro #113 Thanksgiving Tussle '22 11/24/22 Kingston Armory - Kingston, Pennsylvania

CORE Pro #114 A Christmas Far More Glorious Than Grand 12/25/22 SteelStacks - Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

[v-thinks-on]

My friend, the esteemed detective Hercule Poirot, who you may have heard of in connection with any of the countless cases he’s pursued since his arrival in England a few years back, was out all morning. When he returned to our flat, it was only to hurry me out along with him.

“There is no time to waste, Hastings,” the little Belgian declared, neatly folding the paper I had so carelessly tossed aside. “It is, as you say in English, the canary.”

I had no idea what to make of that, and as we boarded the train for the countryside, Poirot was hardly more forthcoming.

“It is a very serious matter,” was all he said. “I can only hope that we are not too late.”

However, as we rolled into the station at Market Snodsbury, something began to stir in my memory and when Poirot called for a cab to bring us to Brinkley Court, it snapped into place.

“I just read about the Brinkley Court tragedy in the paper this morning!” I exclaimed.

Poirot hushed me, but not as emphatically as I might have expected.

“You think it was murder then?” I asked eagerly, in at least an attempt at a hushed voice. “The papers were saying it was all just an accident.”

“A man is found standing just above the lifeless victim; it seems open and shut, no? But we shall see,” Poirot said with his usual evasiveness - I had some feeling he was mocking me.

Bertie Solves a Mystery continues!

[eirinstiva]

Recursus et tactus

Hullo-ullo-ullo! Last night I received a letter from Jeeves, something that really surprises me. The fact that the story is tittled "Bertie Changes his Mind" surprises me more. Let's see what Jeeves wrote:

It has happened so frequently in the past few years that young fellows starting in my profession have come to me for a word of advice, that I’ve found it convenient now to condense my system into a brief formula. “Resource and Tact”⁠—that is my motto.

If someday Jeeves receives a peerage and needs a coat of arms, this should be his motto. It resumes Jeeves philosophy and is short enough to be written on a coat.

Bertie is sick and bored, poor baby~

“Every night, dash it all,” proceeded Mr. Wooster morosely, “you come in at exactly the same old time with the same old tray and put it on the same old table. I’m fed up, I tell you. It’s the bally monotony of it that makes it all seem so frightfully bally.”

As Shakira said "No fue culpa tuya, ni tampoco mía. Fue culpa de la monotonía".

It's interesting to see how Jeeves is afraid of Bertie getting married. What does he fear? To be separated of Wooster, and he knows that's common to get rid of the vallet.

Something to look after, if you know what I mean. Jeeves, I wish I had a daughter. I wonder what the procedure is?” “Marriage is, I believe, considered the preliminary step, sir.”

I agree with Jeeves on this case. Bertie needs a bit of sea breeze and extra time to think about parenthood.

Employers are like horses. They require managing. Some gentlemen’s personal gentlemen have the knack of managing them, some have not. I, I am happy to say, have no cause for complaint.

Peggy Mainwaring is a good chance for Bertie to know more about girls. probably he studied in an all-boys school so women and girls are a mystery to him. Yes, I know Bertie has a sister and three nieces but they are so far away that probably he barely meets them.

“Well, you are a sportsman!” observed the young person, with great enthusiasm. And she proceeded to kiss me⁠—in connection with which I have only to say that I was sorry she had just been devouring some sticky species of sweetmeat.

“He told me nothing about himself, except that he was a friend of Professor Mainwaring.” “He did not inform you, then, that he was the Mr. Wooster?” “The Mr. Wooster?” “Bertram Wooster, madam.”

I know that Bertram Wooster is a fancy name but the way Jeeves use that on their favour is priceless.

So that's how Jeeves and Wooster ended at a girl's school. As someboy who studied in that type of school I suggest you to run away as fast as you can. Trust me, I'm a scientist.

I drove round to the stables and halted the car in the yard. As I got out, I looked at it somewhat intently. It was a good car, and appeared to be in excellent condition, but somehow I seemed to feel that something was going to go wrong with it⁠—something pretty serious⁠—something that wouldn’t be able to be put right again for at least a couple of hours. One gets these presentiments.

(heavy breathing)

[fred-erick-frankenstein]

I got tagged by @medical-malpractice-malewife 💛thanks for the tag!!

Favorite color: normally I'd say all of them but I started to really love (!) mint green 💛so pretty (I already have t-shirts, pullovers, headphones and bedsheets in that color😂)

Currently Reading: "The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection" by P. G. Wodehouse (mostly the Jeeves stories 😁) and "Amongst Our Weapons" by Ben Aaronovitch (tho I'm reading it in German because the book covers are prettier in German 😌) and the Jeeves and Wooster (and Sherlock Holmes, A. J. Raffles, Phantom of the Opera and Dorian Grey crossover) collections by @vtsuion The Immutable Jeeves and Wooster, The Mysterious Mr. Jeeves and Designation: H.

Last Song: "Irgendwann bleib i dann dort" by S.T.S.

Last Series: Jeeves and Wooster (with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie). (there might be a pattern here 😂).

Last Movie: "Oscar Wilde" (1997, with Stephen Fry).

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: tho I love sweet I can't eat so much of it, so spicy it is 😁

Currently Working On: passing the time until university starts again🤣🤣

I tag: @dreams-of-middle-earth @somebody-already-took-this-url @buildarocketboys @tiredesperdad @quantifierrasing @ebbet @ed-teach @giogiogundam and whoever wants to do this💛

[wipbigbang]

Story Title: Designation: H

Fandom: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle (with appearances from various other literary characters)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32490439

Summary: One minute, Watson is hurrying back along the path from Reichenbach Falls, afraid that Holmes has met his fate against the dreaded Professor Moriarty. The next thing he knows, he awakens in the strange Prometheus Institute, unsure whether it was all a nightmare or terrible reality. However, he quickly finds that the real nightmare has only just begun.

Watson is told that the man he knew as Sherlock Holmes is in fact a creature created by the Prometheus Institute as the next step in human evolution, which should never have been unleashed upon the world - and he is not the Institute’s only creation. All Watson is sure of is that he must escape at any cost.

Warnings: Violence to and by children

Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, mentioned past Victor Trevor, mentioned Mary Watson, cameos from various other literary characters

Pairings: Past Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

When I Started: This fic would not exist if not for @umisabaku’s epic of love and superhuman high school basketball players, Designation: Miracle. I couldn’t get the idea of characters being created in a sinister lab out of my head and it got me to wondering how my favorite fictional detective might have acquired his improbable skill set. A plot naturally followed and I started planning way back in August 2017 and began writing the story proper that December (which is way earlier than I thought).

How I Lost My Shit: I don’t know if I ever really had it together from the start. My first mistake was trying to “make things easier for myself” by using other literary characters with improbable skill sets as the Institute’s other creations, who would serve as Holmes and Watson’s fellow inmates. That meant I then had to accumulate a list of characters and read about them, which slowed things down immensely.

Then, I was about half-way through the prologue when I signed up for Holmestice 2019 and was assigned to make a gift for someone who really wanted a BBC Sherlock fic. I had just been toying around with the idea that the premise worked even better for BBC’s Sherlock than the original and it basically fit their request, so I dropped everything and spent 2 weeks frantically writing a BBC Sherlock variant on the fic; Designation: S.

I finally went back to Designation: H and by summer 2020, I had finished a first draft of chapter 1 and was doing a bit of reading to find more characters to show up in the fic, when I happened upon Jeeves and Wooster - a  series about a silly rich young man and his hypercompetent manservant. Jeeves turned out to make way too much sense as a product of the Institute and the series had me hooked. By the time the summer was over, I had written The Mysterious Mr. Jeeves, a 130K sequel series to a fic I still had yet to write (a series I’m very proud of and recommend you check out if you’re interested).

How I Finished My Shit: Having finally come off of my Jeeves and Wooster high, I remembered that I still hadn’t entirely revealed Jeeves’s mysterious origins and had a whole Sherlock Holmes story (which was now a prequel) that I was still planning on writing. So, in March of this year, I resumed work on Designation: H in earnest, encouraged by my last minute sign-up to the WIP Big Bang.

Even then, I admit this story gave me a lot of trouble. I usually write slow and steady and don’t do a whole lot of rewrites, but I couldn’t tell you how many times I went back through the last two chapters, arranging and rearranging until it all came together in a way that really got the ideas across. But it’s finally done and out there for the world to see - along with a fanmix and chapter headers by the excellent afteriwake (pennywaltzy). Without any further ado, I hope you enjoy it!

[what-ho-internet]

 A promised update on the scheme involving Aunt Dahlia.

Success! Warranted and complete, in fact. For those who had been biting their proverbial lip for news, allow the thing to spring free.

The ordeal on Friday went something like this: all was calm, and I made the face of an eager prospective magazine-writer to Aunt Dahlia. She was quite convinced. I could tell as she had three cubes of sugar in her tea, as opposed to two. She allows this only when she is tuly excited. I can be quite the Sherlock Holmes when asked to, you see.

‘Bertie, you shall get along splendidly with the girl who writes our fashion segment,’ she proclaimed. I fought to keep my demeanour. She leaned a little closer. ‘She is not only intelligent and well-dressed –otherwise I would not have hired her– but she is not of ill-means, and has a sparkling sense of humour.’

‘Come Aunt,’ I said, attempting to conceal my rising feeling of horror. ‘I cannot have both you and Aunt Agatha attempting to marry me off. I shall have no ring fingers left to marry with!’

She did allow me a laugh at this, which severe Agatha would not have. ‘Oh Bertie,’ she said with some vim. ‘You must get married sometime!’

It was at this point Jeeves burst forth into the room, looking to me every spot the avenging angel. ‘A cigarette, sir?’ He asked me, with his usual coolness of tone and look.

‘Good lord Jeeves,’ I said in relieved tones. ‘I was just about to look around for a gasper. How do you do it, man?’

Jeeves only smiled and opened his mouth to form a rebuke, before the telephone rang out, shrilly.

‘Mr. Wooster’s residence,’ he answered as he usually did. There was some hullabaloo on the other side of the phone, and I heard some crackle and a raised voice. Jeeves looked every part surprised, and nodded. He interjected but twice to say ‘I am very sorry, sir,’ and ‘I will convey in less colourful language the sentiment, indeed.’ The play-actor on the other end was so convincing as to hang up without saying goodbye.

‘Who was that?’ Asked my Aunt with a rather indecent level of curiousity once the call was over. Jeeves henceforth explained the situation, fulfiling his promice to censor some of the more untoward words which had been used. Aunt Dahlia, as genuinely surprised as I pretended, looked from Jeeves to myself. I acted every part the agonied friend, who could not fathom having hurt so great a chum as poor Bunbury.

And so the thing was done: my aunt shook her head, lamented that I had not grown in the direction she hoped I had, and proclaimed a similar situation must have been why this very blog has been ‘mysteriously deleted’ (she has not discovered the miraculous ‘block-button’ yet.) She withdrew her commission and I returned to my happy writing, which is found in this very spot.

I am sure more situations such as these will present themselves to us in time; I shall write and attest to them at further length in the future if this adventure is met with affection.

For now, adieu.