#The Shanghai Job

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

Ok so like. Film adaptations of books are not universally bad things on principle. I’m definitely not saying that it’s impossible to produce a good one. But at the same time, film and the written word are different mediums that aren’t necessarily suited to telling stories in the same way.

For example, in a book, especially a highly character driven one, you get to directly see and read a lot of a character’s thoughts. And this has a huge impact on your experience of the story. And sure, you can convey this in a somewhat similar way with a voice over in a film adaptation, but depending on the scene being adapted, this doesn’t always work great or feel natural.

And that’s not a bad thing. It just means that it doesn’t translate to film well because film is a different medium that tells stories in a different way. And there certainly are books that translate well to film. But to be honest? A lot don’t. Especially not in a way that even comes close to touching the original that it is based off of. And that’s fine. Plenty of amazing movies and TV shows wouldn’t translate well into books and most people wouldn’t really want or expect them to.

So no. I really don’t think that “achieving” a film adaptation should be seen as a goal the way it seems to be for a lot of books and I think that seeing this as a goal is often doing a huge disservice to the original work. I think that books that are well served by film adaptations are the exception, not the rule, and that most of the drive to produce film adaptations of popular books is driven by the urge to squeeze every last possible bit of profit out of every single creative idea ever rather than like. I don’t know. Actual appreciation for the source material and a genuine wish to understand it in a different light.

[hanarchy]

oh irresponsible and unjustified desire to go to north america, welcome back

[lumityfication]

and yeah. I have decided to reread flf and fhh from the beginning on audiobook. this is how i know i’m in a proper book brainrot era bc once i’m done w the book/series i immediately have to reread it or i’ll be driven to madness by symptoms not unlike withdrawal

[a-swiss-and-a-spaniard]

of course Roger was asked about his workout routine and of course Rafa's biceps had to be mentioned

[ferrari-desmosedici-wwe-fc]

So happy for Nando 🥰

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Also I feel like if you were going to accuse me of anti-asian racism for writing sex work into avatar fic, the fact I made up an in-universe jazz band called Yoshiwara's Children or had Jin sarcastically joke that she's in the situation she's in because she ran away from the upper ring to escape the inevitability of becoming a royal concubine instead of the vagueness of "making earth kingdom characters sex workers" which i'll be honest, i'm still not entirely sure if they mean headcanons for Jet and Jin or my own goddamn oc's, and yet.

Also that anon failed to mention my au where Yue and Hahn survive and marry and become wife exchange partners with Sokka and Suki and Sokka and Yue have tender, intimate quality time while Hahn comes to terms with the fact he likes getting beaten and roped up and it amuses Suki to no end. Like no, it's not just the east asian coded characters i write as taking people to bed for social and material benefits, and the native-coded characters tend to get written in more explicit and steamy terms. The only reason you wouldn't see that is if you're only looking where you want to look.

[hypaalicious]

skade and ryuzakichi shouldn't fight, they should join forces and create the ultimate bird dilf to rival tenzin's humansona 😭

i've already seen fanart of totter perched on silverash's shoulder, why does he get to have all the sexy liberis smh 😔😔

I’m convinced SilverAsh only hires people as hot as he is, and he has the money to buy them as he pleases LMFAO! Who is Totter’s artist, btw… I didn’t even check, but I don’t think it’s Skade… still a damn good job if I do say so myself.

I’m appreciating them going for a range of men in this game… you got the resident shotas, the pretty otome love interest looking men, the disgruntled middle aged one and the gdilf (Hellagur). Oh yeah, and the furries 😂 Ohe thing about kuroblood’s designs is that he will make sure they have the best drip in the game for no reason!

Also, if Skade and Ryuuzakichi joined forces like that, don’t know how we would survive. I believe they did a booth together for some con cause I remember seeing pics of the joint art they did for it and it was unfairly stunning 😩

[yourtongzhihazel]

why do you support china

TL;DR,

As the daughter of a family of peasants on both sides, I would simply not exist if it was not for Mao Zedong and the communist party. My grandfather on my mom's side was the only person in his village to attend high school. My maternal grandparents became PLA medics then full on doctors. My grandfather on my dad's side was illiterate until the 50s, after which time, he became a local librarian. Every single senior citizen in the PRC has stories of the horror, war, death, starvation, poverty that Chinese people suffered for centuries, amplified by the century of humiliation. There's not a single farmer left in my family. They are artists. Teachers. Engineers. Physicists. Musicians. Doctors. Programmers. The oldest pictures in my family's collection are a set of prints from the 60's, after cameras came to the peasantry. In my very own lifetime, I saw Pudong, on the east bank of the Huangpu river which splits Shanghai in two, go from just the Oriental Pearl and a collection of buildings to the skyscraper metropolis it is today. When I was born, there was not a single kilometer of true HSR. In 22 years, they have built 45,000 kilometers of HSR, a number which is still growing. In 2021, the PRC completed the historical task of eliminating extreme poverty in the entire country. There are millions of families like mine living in the PRC, from Urumqi to Harbin.

In 1991, the Soviet Union was illegally and forcefully dismantled, a process which culminated in the constitutional crisis of 1993. Similar processes of primitive accumulation occurred in former Eastern Block countries, from East Germany to Bulgaria. State assets were stolen for cents on the dollar. Quality of life, especially average lifespan, dropped significantly and so dramatically that it took former Soviet countries 3 decades or more just to recover to pre-dissolution numbers; some still haven't. Pensioners lost their pensions and were forced to sell scrap and empty bottles just to survive. Those who had state jobs were laid off. Social welfare programs were cut back or eliminated entirely. Children were forced into prostitution or trafficked. Now the constituent republics which made up the USSR engage in petty regional wars to the detriment of all of their citizens. The Soviet Union was a country just shy of 300 million people. Over 1.4 BILLION people live in the PRC right now. Economic shock therapy of which the former USSR went through would be an unmitigated humanitarian disaster on a scale perhaps never seen on the planet.

The Communist Party of China has brought about unimaginable good to Chinese people. It took a backwaters, "sick man of Asia" and turned it into the 2nd strongest nation currently on the planet all within a single lifespan. The PRC is the most successful socialist project still around and should be a magnificent source of lessons to learn from, both the good and the bad. However, this is not to say the the PRC should be emulated or copied. Rather, communists should analyze their own material conditions and class make up and apply the lessons of the PRC as they see fit for their own countries.

[russellsppttemplates]

I'm right here! (Oscar Piastri)

People seem to forget you're dating Oscar

Note: english is not my first language. Another Oscar piece 🫶

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: jealous themes

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Do you think this will translate as well on the track though?", Phil, the head of the engineering department, asked as you showed him the latest set of data.

"Even with the interval we've set for changes, these numbers show it could improve performance, especially in race pace", you pointed to the calculations on the side.

"We would only have it for Miami, though", he reasoned, "we don't have enough time to get this done for Shanghai and I don't think it would be wise to test this in a track we haven't raced in five years", Amelia argued as you nodded in agreement, "but it looks promising - good job, Y/N", she patted your back.

"Would you feel comfortable talking about it in the meeting with Zak, Andrea and the mechanics? You have been the one working the most with this, makes sense for you to be the one taking point. Lando and Oscar should join you as well - I think they're doing something on the Sim", William mused.

"Absolutely! Yes, Oscar said he was driving a new set up and strategy Tom also wants to discuss in the meeting", you offered with a smile.

"Having insider information makes this easier - I don't have to check every single e-mail and wonder about things, especially Oscar's schedule", Amelia chuckled, rubbing your shoulder before she got up.

As everyone gathered in the meeting room, you set your laptop up so the latest data would be seen by everyone as you spoke about the changes, "we don't think nor expect this will be ready for China, but we're hoping to have the new package in Miami already - gives us enough time to work on it and the track there is ideal for us to have an idea of how this could play out for the rest of the season", you concluded.

"I agree - I think China will be damage control racing and we're accepting it as it goes", Andrea stated.

"We just need to get going with these then and also get the guys to try it out on the- Oh! Speaking of the devil", Zak chuckled as Oscar and Lando stepped inside the meeting room.

"So that's that, I think - thank you for all your work and let's hope we can bring some points next weekend", the British driver said before everyone scattered out.

Closing your laptop and getting your tablet, you held them against your torso so you could go and set them back to your station before lunch. You didn't make it very far as Oscar stood just outside the room, his hand snaking up your back carefully as he didn't want to startle you.

"Good morning, love", he smiled, kissing your cheek and walking with you.

"Morning, Osc", you kissed his cheek back, "how was training?", you wondered.

"Same old - went for a run this time, though, it was nice enough outside", your boyfriend offered as you reached your desk, tidying it a little bit before leaving to get some lunch, walking hand in hand.

You didn't expect to fall for a driver, especially after the relationship you had with Lando. You behaved like siblings, often pranking eachother, and it had helped you grow more confident around him and the senior staff when you felt you were all but a small intern. Over the years, you grew more comfortable as your ideas and pitches would get considered and tested, finally feeling like your place was well earned and that at the right time, the development would come to bring McLaren to the top where it belonged.

When Oscar joined the team, however, you didn't expect to feel the way you felt about the Australian driver. He was handsome, very shy and very kind and thoughtful as he sat all through the meetings as you explained the changes. Jeopardising your career was something you didn't want to do, but after some not so careful touches and glances, the team assured you it wouldn't be an issue in case you and Oscar were to pursue a relationship together.

"Here's my favourite team-mate! And she brought Oscar with her!", Lando joked as you sat at the same table as him.

Swatting his neck playfully, you sat down next to him so you could face Oscar as he put his tray down, "I will revoke new updates package from you and you'll be stuck in the midfield", you taunted before you started eating.

"Do you want to spend the night at my place? I need to sort a few things out still this afternoon, but I'm hoping I can leave on time today", you squinted your eyes.

"What do you mean on time?", Lando quirked an eyebrow.

"Yesterday, she got so caught up in the calculations, I barely got a text out of her when I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me", Oscar chuckled as you held hands on top of the table, playing with his fingers, "what was it you texted me? 'I'm having a breakthrough' I think it was", your boyfriend offered.

"I did, though! Amelia checked it over and we might be onto something - I have to go to Race Base this afternoon so they can check them out", you shrugged your shoulders."We're spending the whole afternoon in the sim", Oscar checked with you, "when you get off, then we can leave together - how does that sound?".

Coming back to your place after you stopped by the supermarket, you set the bag on the counter and pulled out all of the ingredients you bought to make sure the dinner would be suitable and appropriate to Oscar's plan.

"I haven't had a proper cuddle today", Oscar pulled you to him, beggining to litter kisses on your forehead all the way to your cheeks and jaw, "I can't ever do this at the center", he mumbled against your neck, tickling you.

"We could, just where there are no other team members", you giggled before cupping his cheeks, "which happens to be nowhere most of the time", before you kissed his lips.

"I'm going to start working on the chicken", Oscar said after you stole a few kisses, "are you going to be in the Center for the race?".

"No, I'm travelling with the team", you smiled as you took the fresh pasta out of the bag, "which means we can spend more time together - and people will actually see us together", you mumbled the last part.

"People know we're together, love", he smiled, cutting up the last bit of garlic and tossing it in the pan.

"Sometimes it doesn't seem like it - they didn't see me in Jeddah and the rumours flew out of control", you wiped your hands on the kitchen towell before hugging Oscar's back, resting your cheek between his shoulder blades.

"You know how the media works - they see the smallest hint to something they want to see and then they're there", he offered, taking one of his hands to squeeze your hip, "you're the one here, aren't you?", he tsked.

.

"Where are you going?", Oscar asked as he saw you grab a tablet and push the chair back under the table, "I thought we could have some time together now".

"The stewards picked out eight cars at random to get checked over a few components - Mike and Barry are waiting for me", you offered, pecking his lips quickly, "hopefully they're just not messing around with our schedule because everything is supposed to be how it is!", you smiled before you started to walk out.

"I'll go with you, then", your boyfriend assured, "can't have you go to the wolves on your own when you can have company, beautiful".

Oscar walked up to the building with you, kissing your temple before you stepped inside, "I left some data from the sprint for you to look at, and tell Lando I also left a file for him with his tire deg - I told Will to do it, but he might forget!", you alerted before letting him go.

Knowing how long it would take, he went back to the McLaren garage, stopping whenever fans snapped a couple of pictures or autographs.

By the time you were back in the hotel room after the sprint and qualifying, Oscar went to the bathroom so he could have a shower, leaving you to lay on the bed and scroll through social media.

You looked at the photos the media team had posted, along with the stories where you could spot yourself in the background and spotted a few comments as you flicked through the carrousel of pictures, the comments under it weren't something you hadn't seen before.

Hear me out, Oscar and Elaine are the perfect match

I know, right? 😭 honestly, they need to get together! They would be so cute together

She's so polite and put together, but I get rhe vibe that she's really shy too, they would be perfect for eachother

Are we forgetting Y/N? aka Oscar's girlfriend

I still can't believe the people at the top have let their engineer date a driver

Y/N's way too out there, I call PR relationship

She couldn't even build a great car, I'm not sure why you would defend her

She was literally the reason the car and the turnaround last year and we started getting podiums?

These have been the best 12 months in terms of development, what are you on about? Just because she's with Oscar, you can't dig at her like that

The last few comments don't come up too often, but you had to admit it was nice when they did even if they did nothing to the way you felt.

The green eyed monster took over more times that you'd like. You work with numbers, probabilities and direct correlations, so it was hard to miss the reason behind how you were feeling.

"Why are you looking at your phone like that? You promised you wouldn't work once we got back to the room", Oscar warned, using the towell to dry his hair before he looked at you again.

"I'm not working", you mumbled, locking the phone and setting it on your stomach, pondering whether or not you should talk to Oscar about this.

"That long silence tells me that there is something bothering you", Oscar began, "I'm not saying you have to talk about it right now - I won't force you to -, but I'm here for you when you want to do it", he offered earnestly.

"I'm jealous of you and Elaine", you stated, earning a quirked eyebrow from your boyfriend.

"Me and Elaine? The communications' intern?", he looked for some clarification.

"Yes!", you answered loudly.

"We don't - I don't even spend that much time with her, what do you mean?", Oscar asked.

"I know you don't, but people online seem to think you should! First, it was that actress that McLaren invited for Abu Dhabi - the weekend where Natalie and Naomi kept approaching us because they wanted to chat and there was actual visual proof we were together after all the rumours -, now they're saying how you should go out with Elaine!", you admitted, "they're all saying you really should have someone and that she should be the one to go, that she has all the qualities you should look for and I-", you took a big breath in, "I'm literally over there, every single day of the races - in the garage, sometimes in the pitwall!", you stated, "I barely do any races from the Center anymore, so it's not like people forgot that I exist!".

"Love, I'd never do that to you - you're the only person I care about like that", Oscar replied instantly.

"I know you don't, but it hurts to see", you admitted, "comments people make about my boyfriend and how he really should start dating someone when our relationship is public - I'm there, I see them, they see me!", you let a tear fall down your cheek, "there's only so much I can do to make it obvious, Osc!".

Oscar sat down next to you on the bed, throwing the towell on the floor for the moment so he could pull you to face him.

"Y/N, I didn't know it was bothering you so much, I don't even notice all of that", your boyfriend craddled your face in his hands, thumbs wiping the tears that continued to fall and looking into your eyes.

"I never told you and I know you don't read all of the comments", you reasoned, "I just thought it would stop at some point! Everyone keeps saying that you should have someone and I want them to think I'm that someone - because I am!", you said bitterly.

"Is there something you'd like me to do? That would make you feel better about it?", Oscar combed your bangs away and behind your ears.

"What can we do anyway? Have you walk around with a t-shirt that says "I have a girlfriend - Y/N, the engineer"?", you scoffed.

"I will do that if you think it will help - throw in a headband with "Y/N's boyfriend" too if it helps!", he tried to pry a smile out of you.

"Don't be silly", you playfully shoved his chest before holding his hands in yours, "I honestly have no idea what to do, but I know I want it to stop without putting our jobs on the line", you pouted.

"Maybe an Instagram post from us then? Something chilled but serious enough so anyone can get the hint - and I wouldn't mind arriving into the paddock with you in the morning", your boyfriend suggested.

"Oscar, I have to be there way earlier than you need to", you argued.

"Then I'll be there earlier, I'll have breakfast there with you and we'll spend more time together in front of everyone - as much as you feel comfortable with", Oscar offered you an assuring smile, "I don't want anyone else the way I want you, I don't love anyone the way I love you, Y/N".

Smiling at the honesty and safety he was transmitting you, you kissed his lips, starting with small pecks before one last long kiss, letting your foreheads touch as you pulled away, "thank you, Osc, I love you".

The next morning, reporters were surprised when they saw the McLaren driver show up in the paddock so early, his hand laced in yours as they asked a couple of questions.

"My girlfriend had to come in earlier, so I thought I'd join her and see a little bit of the preparations", Oscar replied before you continued to walk to the McLaren hospitality.

"Is it bring your boyfriend to work day?", Anna asked after her usual morning greeting.

"He's always with me at work though", you squinted before giggling, "but I really need people to know he's mine and that I'm here!", you half joked.

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part one.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 505,281 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername a smiley lando is the best lando in my books! to celebrate the end of the 2023 season, here's a handful of my favourite photos from throughout the year!

view all 3,171 comments

mclaren What a happy lad! We can't wait to see that smile again in 2024 😁🧡

↳ yourusername you and me both! 🤝🧡

user she's got the dream job omg

↳ user IKR??? imagine just getting to follow lando around and take pictures of him all day, i'd be dead within the first hour

↳ user he'd smile at me and i'd be asking “what are we” on god 😩😩😩

↳ user is that literally all she does??? she just follows him around and takes pictures??

↳ user there’s probably a technical term for what her position is and i just don’t know it, but bc there’s so much going on around the track at any given moment, sometimes the press and other media workers are focused on something or someone else, so she’s hired on by mclaren to specifically focus on mclaren to make sure that there is content for mclaren or mclaren sponsors to use. she’s not just lando’s photographer, she also takes photos of oscar, the pit teams, and the other staff that work in the garage, but she was hired on when lando started so her portfolio is pretty full of him. hope this helps!

user didn't know i could need so much orange in my life but here we are

user LANDO NORRIS SUPREMACY

oscarpiastri i see who the favourite is 🫤

↳ yourusername you literally SAW me picking photos for your post too

↳ oscarpiastri yeah but you posted his first 🫤

user guys this is the face of the 2024 wdc winner take it in now

user i could write a 50 page thesis on the importance of these photos and what they mean to me and how the serotonin they make me release could replace my depression meds

user lad’s like a mini danny ric with how smiley he is

landonorris best photog right here folks

↳ yourusername you're only saying that bc i always get your good side

↳ landonorris i'll have you know that all sides are my good sides 🤨

↳ yourusername whatev helps you sleep at night luv 😊

In 2019, when you took on the job of being McLaren’s lead photographer, you hadn’t expected it would garner you the amount of attention it has, or that it would slingshot your career to levels of success you never could have anticipated, or that you would get a best friend out of it.

When you first met him back in those early days, you’d thought Lando Norris was an arrogant, pretentious, self-righteous prick who thought he was hot shit because he was a Formula One driver. However, he’d quickly proven you wrong when he’d admitted to you that a lot of the confidence was an act━ carefully constructed to hide his insecurities about his performance both on and off the track.

“I mean, we’re drivers, yeah?” He’d said. “But we’re also actors. We’ve got these personas that we have to uphold even out here on the paddock, and I’m always worried I’m not playing the part well enough.”

It hadn’t made a lot of sense to you then, you thought he was pulling off the persona of Total Douche remarkably well, but in Shanghai, things changed.

After the Chinese Grand Prix, things were dour. Lando had DNFed━ the first in his Formula One career━ which contrasted greatly with his previous accomplishment of P6 in Bahrain. Carlos Sainz hadn’t been doing very well, either, and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture for McLaren so early in the season. You’d thought he’d throw a hissy fit, tear Daniil Kvyat apart for his role in the crash, or at the very least throw some shade his way, but he hadn’t done any of that. He’d accepted his fate with grace, joked to the media about how boring the race had been because of what had happened, and then gone on to congratulate Carlos for at least finishing.

What was even more shocking, was that despite his disappointment and the frustration he must’ve been feeling, instead of going back to sulk in his lonesomeness or drown out his feelings with booze and loud music at some club, he’d comforted you later that evening.

The morning of the race, as you’d been getting ready in your hotel room, you’d gotten a text from an unsaved number admitting to you that they’d been taking part in a months-long affair with your boyfriend but had been previously unaware that he was already taken and therefore wanted to let you know to clear their conscience. You’d managed to hold yourself together then━ mostly because you’d already done your makeup and, quite frankly, didn’t have the time to sob it all off and then attempt to salvage it━ but as the day drew to a close and the adrenaline of the race and its excitement wore off, and with nothing else to keep you distracted, you were struggling to keep yourself composed.

Lando had somehow noticed in that weirdly perceptive way of his that something was off, and he’d sat with you, asked what was wrong, and listened when you━ through tears━ explained the situation to him.

“He sounds like a total fucking muppet,” he’d commented after you’d said your piece, and he’d done it with such a deadpanned expression that it had startled a genuine laugh out of you. Because yeah, you’re (now ex) boyfriend had been a muppet.

After that━ and after all the rom-com and ice cream binging you’d both done in his hotel room afterward much to the chagrin of Lando’s nutritionist and the displeasure of his PR officer━ you’d rescinded your initial judgment of him. He was significantly less dickish than you’d originally thought, and it let you finally understand what he’d meant when he’d talked about putting on a persona.

The cocky, know-it-all prick that Lando pretended to be half the time was all just an act to hide his overly self-critical nature fueled by his insecurities.

By the end of the season, he’d gained a little confidence of his own and had subsequently toned down the assholery when he no longer needed to “fake it til he makes it,” and you were calling him your friend.

It’s 2023 now, and he’s since been upgraded to best friend status━ a role he takes very seriously, and constantly reminds you of.

“I’m your best friend━” case and point, “━you have to come to Bali with me. Literally, like, what am I gonna do without you there? Do you expect me to just go by myself? What if I get lost? Or what if somehow the mafia, who have unknowingly had a hit out on me for years, track me down there and I’m kidnapped and ransomed off for billions of dollars? What will you do then?”

“You just want me to take pictures of you,” you answer, rolling your eyes only because you know he can’t see you through the phone.

He gasps in mock offense. “I cannot believe you think I value you so little! I want you to take pictures of me and be here to help me make fun of awkward tourist spray tans so I don’t feel like a total asshole for being the only one who laughs.”

You laugh at that. “Well, unfortunately laughing at bad fake tans doesn’t pay the bills.”

“But taking pictures of me does.”

“Yeah, when McLaren is paying.” You turn back to your laptop, a photo put on pause mid-edit splayed across the screen. It’s of Lando, as most of your photos tend to be despite your attempts at keeping things even between the McLaren boys. It’s the last of the images you need to send over for their 2023 sendoff, and when it’s finished you’ll officially be without work for a painstaking two months. “I’m on break too, technically, until they need promotional shit for the new season.”

He huffs, and you can almost imagine the childish pout on his face. “What are you even doing, then?”

You hesitate, not because you don’t want Lando to know about your winter plans, but because you don’t really know how he’ll react, which means it could be anything between genuine happiness for you and congratulations, or abject horror and feigned screams of anguish. He’s always been dramatic like that, but even more so now that he’s comfortable enough with you and himself to have crawled a decent way out of his shell.

Even still, he’s your best friend and it would make you a pretty shitty person if you didn’t tell him.

“Believe it or not,” you start, wringing your hands together, “but Manchester City actually hit me up with an inquiry. Asked if I’d be interested in working with them on a project documenting their training throughout the winter months. I said I would love to.”

He pauses for a good long moment, and you prepare for the screaming, but all he says is━ “Man City? You traitor. I thought Man United was our forever!”

“Be so fucking real right now, Lando Norris,” you answer, laughing as you do so. You’re relieved, at least he hasn’t gone the feigned anguish route, but you also can’t tell if he’s happy for you or hiding his true feelings behind humor like he’s prone to doing. “You know damn well you only watched them for Christiano Ronaldo and he hasn’t played with United since 2009.”

“Technically he played for them in the 2021-2022 season,” he grumbles.

“Yeah,” you deadpan, “and he was dogshit. We both agreed to pretend it never happened.”

He groans, “I can’t believe this. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.”

“Oh, get over yourself. It’s only for the winter. I’ll be back in McLaren Papaya by February when they need me snapping shots of you and Oscar next to the new livery,” you promise.

The reality is that it’ll probably be sooner. McLaren has always been good about getting you back at HQ pretty quickly, either to get some snapshots of the beginning of Lando and Oscar’s pre-season return or to just capture some material of the engineers at work to promote their readiness. You understand why they can’t keep you around all year━ no Lando and no Oscar means no you━ and with the sheer amount of content you capture and edit for them throughout the season, they’ve got enough to last them the handful of weeks you aren’t working.

Unfortunately, you aren’t working with a driver’s salary to keep you sustained over the break and rent certainly hasn’t been getting cheaper. In past years, your bank account has been chirping with crickets when you’ve returned to work after the winter, and that was before your landlord had decided to make your life a living hell.

You have an important job, but it’s by far the most important, and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Working in sports media taught you that early on.

“Who knows?” Lando’s voice snaps you back. “Maybe Jack Grealish with his perfect hair and perfect calves will steal you away and you’ll be in sky blue forevermore.”

You laugh, “Jack Grealish is a happily taken man, and although he does have perfect hair and perfect calves, I’m more of a Haaland girl anyway.”

He guffaws. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re so far gone that you already have a preferred player. Jack Grealish is England’s poster boy! Everyone loves him whether they like City or not!” He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Christ, I can already feel you slipping through my fingers. I give it a week over there at Etihad before you call me up telling me I can find a new best friend because you’ve replaced me with Phil Foden and Julian Alvarez.”

“For someone who supposedly hates Manchester City, you’re certainly well-versed in their roster.”

“Well duh, I need to know my competition,” he says, like it’s obvious.

“Ah, yes,” you snark back sarcastically. “Because you, a Formula One driver, have to be worried about the football players of Manchester City.”

“Apparently I do if you’re calling yourself a Haaland girl now!”

You burst into cackles and he’s following shortly after with chuckles of his own that eventually peter out into a comfortable silence. You are really going to miss him for the few months you aren’t working with him.

The Formula One schedule is so jam-packed across the season that it typically means you’re getting to see him every day for an hour or two at least, if not for the entirety of the time he’s at the track. You follow him and Oscar to their sponsor obligations, their interviews, and everything in between. It’s honestly rare if you’re not getting a moment to goof off and dick around with one another━ and it’s even rarer for you to not actually see one another face to face in passing at the very least.

The off-season is your least favorite time of the year for this very reason, and though it makes you feel a bit full of yourself to think so, you imagine Lando doesn’t enjoy this time of year much either for the same reason.

“I promise I won’t replace you with any of the City boys,” you say after the silence has stretched on a moment longer.

He huffs again, but you can envision the smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose even if you do, I’ll just show up to a match and steal you away again.”

“As if. Have you seen Grealish’s calves?”

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 517,472 others

footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward caught with mysterious woman revealed to be well-known Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The two were seen sharing a romantic evening on Friday, the 5th of January, ringing in a passionate start to 2024. Garrett Ward has been with Manchester City since 2021 but was out on loan to a lesser-known Championship League team until 2023. He has just recently begun to play for his team again, but an injury early into the season has seen him benched for a majority of his time back. Y/N L/N is a photographer for Formula One racing team McLaren and has been working with them since 2019. Recently, she has been working with Manchester City to help promote a new docuseries following the men’s team’s winter training. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

view all 12,971 comments

user OMG GARRETT WARD??? NOTORIOUS BACHELOR GARRETT WARD???

user who is she? like genuinely how is she relevant 🤔

↳ user no literally cuz like who even gives two shits about formula 1?

user girl works in f1 why can’t she stay there

↳ user i’m sure there are plenty of drivers who’d smash her idk why she needs to try and get footballers too like bffr 😒😒😒

user aint no way this bitch is kissing my man rn

user literally what does he even see in her??? she’s not even cute AND she’s wearing man united colors 💀💀

user Y/N L/N??? I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS???

↳ user LITERALLY ME TOO?? like she posts him all the time on insta so i just kinda thought they were an item or smth?? trouble in paradise maybe

user she’s fucking ugly wtf

user i wish these footballers who get with regular women would realize there are so many better girls out there that would ACTUALLY treat them well and would support them in their careers. like i bet this girl doesn’t even know anything about football. she works in f1 and that’s where she should stay bc nobody cares about that shit round here. she probably doesn’t even know the first thing about how football works, but i bet she’ll be at matches pretending like she knows what’s happening. garrett ward is gonna flush his career down the troilet for this chick bc she’s gonna convince him his busy schedule ain’t worth it and then city will be down a great forward for good, and it’ll all be her fault

user i mean she’s kinda pretty tbf

↳ user stfu she really isn’t

↳ user she gen looks like any random bitch off the street

user these comments are not it…. 😬

↳ user maybe you f1 fans just don’t know how to handle constructive criticism

↳ user is the constructive criticism in the room with us rn?? cuz all i’m seeing is bullying and hatred directed towards an innocent woman who’s only “crime” was going on a date

user ok so she can take photos?? 🙄🙄 maybe she should get a real job

↳ user she’s probably only with him so she can mooch off of him like a fucking gold digger

user AINT NO WAYYYYYY

user it’ll last a month max 😌 i’m calling it

user ayo lando come get your girl

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette

━━ a/n: here we have it! took me a bit longer than the start of american smile did, but lando's story is officially here! (and it's a whopping 2.9k words to start us off). first and foremost, before we get started, garrett ward is 100% an oc and obviously does not play for manchester city, and this is bc i would feel absolutely horrible portraying a real person in the way that garrett will be later on. gather from that what you will haha! regardless, i hope you enjoy this first part and stick around for the rest!

[norrisleclercf1]

Who Runs the World? You Do

Pairing: Pierre Gasly x Mafia!Reader

Rating: R

Words: 2.0K

Warnings: Oral (f reciving) blood, violence, etc. Angst, fluff, Reader is the dom in this relationship and spoils Pierre

Requested: Yes/No

Request: What about kingpin mafia!reader x sugarbaby!Pierre? She’s just running an entire crime syndicate while spoiling her trophy husband Pierre. I think it be fun if he was still a f1 driver and all his fans think that she’s just a very introverted mysterious stay at home wife because they don’t know she’s actually a criminal. His fans think that Pierre is paying for all their expensive clothes houses cars etc because they think she’s unemployed but really she’s this terrifying international criminal that loves buying her husband pretty things. I’m to excited about this to come up with any proper plot points right now so I’ll leave you with this concept in case you have any cool ideas for it

Synopsis: Married to an F1 Driver isn't easy, but neither is running the largest crime organization.

French terms to know: Yeux bleus (blue eyes), Péché (Sin)

A/N: Merry Christmas Eve/Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays/ and Yule to those who celebrate! This is a yule gift to @chrysanthemonza now they can't bother me for it anymore! Love you bby!!!!!

Water cascades down your back, working to release the muscle tension. Groaning, you let the water burn your skin, trying to wash away the day's activities. Since you needed to be with your husband. 

It was easy to sneak past him as he laid out in bed, the cold French air licking your skin. He's gorgeous when he's asleep. The way his cross necklace sits on his chest, hating how you love the chest hairs curling around it. Dirty blonde hair, the color of wet sand, plastered to his forehead. His skin, kissed by the sun, is rippled with muscle due to his job. 

You knew he was asleep naked, the way the cover was showing off the happy trail and not stopping, his bare hip displayed. Everything in you screamed to just forget the shower and join him in bed. But, he wouldn't appreciate you ruining the expensive and handpicked Egyptian cotton sheets. Everything in your villa was handpicked and designed by him. He took pride in the home the two of you had built, hating when you dragged work through it. 

So, the shower had won to save from your husband's gripping and pouting. A pressure at your back has you whipping around, placing an antique shaving razor on the person's carotid. "Move, and you're fucking dead." You hiss. "Péché." A groggy French accent has you moving the weapon quickly. "Oh, oh my Yeux bleus. I'm so sorry." Terror and regret clenching your chest. 

You'd just raised a weapon to the person you swore never to hurt, and his eyes softened. "Hey....it's okay. You didn't hurt me." Placing a delicate kiss on your forehead. "I heard the water running and figured it was you." Your husband whispers, reaching behind you and turning the water off. "Where'd you fly off to this time?" Pressing the shower door open, he grabs your towel, taking his time to dry you off. Placing whispers of kisses on your skin here and there. 

"Shanghai. Had work and to acquire something for my Yeux bleus." You smile when he kisses the inside of your thigh, nipping at it. "You need to stop buying me stuff." Lashes fluttering, his nose bumping you. Fuck, his lips were so close to his goal that it was hard to concentrate on your words. 

"So? I wanna spoil my baby. Pierre, you've earned it." Smirking as you watch his eyes dart back and forth from your pussy to your eyes. "I have?" You are no longer talking about the gift you've bought him. "Of course, you've been so good for me. Besides, I figured you could use a nice treat to help you throughout the race." Pierre chuckles, his tongue sticking out, flattens it. 

Legs twitch when his tongue splits your lips apart, hand digging into those strands of hair. Moving his tongue from front to back, you whine, his teeth grazing your clit. Pulling away, lips already glistening from your juices, his tongue cleans them off, smirking. 

"Come here." You gasp when Pierre scoops you up like nothing, pulling the towel off and heading to the bedroom. "What are you doing?" Laying you on your back, his eyes clear as day. How blue they were, you could drown in them. "If I'm going to eat my wife out, I will do it properly." 

Sliding down, lips leaving burns on your skin from how feverish you burned. "And that means," He lifts both your legs, hooking them over his shoulders. "I'm going to have you shaking and leave you swollen and achy." Biting your lip, you hate the way he can take control from you.

"Okay." Pierre smiles, his head dips down, and a moan is torn from your throat, back arching. The sounds of his lips and tongue devouring you, your gasps and cries fill the still night. Pierre's hands hold your hips, feeling how you twist and arch, trying to escape. "Pierre....oh, right there." His teeth bite your clit gently, not enough to hurt but to send a wave of pleasure through you.  

Pierre chuckles as he works his tongue carefully and is drawn out. Arching your back up, you whimper, pulling at his hair. "Fuck, mmm." You whimper as you feel that bundle of nerves crawl up your stomach and to your throat. "Come for me, my gorgeous girl." With one last nip, your muscles tighten as you come undone by his mouth, feeling your heart shudder to a stop. 

Pierre slows down his tongue, pulling you down from your high slowly but delicately, almost like he'd hurt you if he went any faster. "Fuck, I think you deserve a treat." You tease; Pierre chuckles and moves up, devouring your mouth in a passionate kiss that has your toes curling. "A treat, you say," He whispers, pecking your lips as he lies down next to you, arms pulling you into his chest. 

"Yes? I want to spoil you some more. How about you pick out a gorgeous mountain house during Christmas break? I'll buy it. Say, an anniversary gift?" Pierre mulls it over and blushes at the thought. "I'd like that." Lips curling up, you move so his head can rest on your chest. "Perfect, start looking so I can buy it and have the cash on hand." 

-----------------------------------------

"She's scary," Yuki whispers as he watches you fix your deep wine-red lipstick. It was rare for you to be at a GP, and when you were, the others barely saw you. But Pierre had begged you, and with 2 orgasms later, here you were, sitting under the Italian sun. 

"She's not scary, Yuki," Charles grumbles, but he doesn't even know his best friend's wife well. It was odd not knowing who Pierre was married to. Not knowing where they lived, Charles knew Pierre lavished you with rare gifts. "She is. I said hello, and she looked me up and down like she wanted to step or eat me." He whispered and hid behind Charles's back when your sunglass-covered eyes landed on them. 

"Charles," Your accent drawls out his name, and the Ferrari driver stiffens as those lips curl into a cat-like smirk. "Mrs. Gasly." He curses himself for not remembering your name, but you seem content with his reply. "Good luck today," Is all you say as you stand, towering over him almost in your heels as you walk off. Not before two men stroll past and join you at your hip. 

"Yeux bleus?" You call out sweetly, looking for your husband. You find him with some reporters and stop short. Cursing, you throw on your sunglasses, hoping they don't catch any pictures of you. The last thing you needed was for the Italian Mafia to see you here. Stepping back, you notice that Pierre smiles at you gently and moves to cover your form. 

"We just heard you purchased a new house in the Swiss Alps. Gift for that wife of yours?" You tense at the question, hearing the venom and condescension in the reporter's voice. You wanted to rip his throat out for speaking to him like that. Pierre just smiles brightly and nods. "Yeah, it's an anniversary gift. We're delighted and can't wait to spend our holiday there." Pierre smiles brightly, and it hurts your heart. 

You sometimes wished he had married someone else. Someone could stand in the sun next to him instead of constantly hiding in the shadows. Pierre never cared. Honestly, he knew somewhat of what you did and the reason for you hiding, but beyond that, he didn't press. "Yes, but we know you're an F1 driver, but she's unemployed. How could you afford that house?" The reporter pressed on, and you could see the slight waver in Pierre's smile. 

"I work hard to spoil my wife. Do you have any questions about my racing now?" The reports raise their voices to get your husband's attention. Smiling, you drop it when you feel a presence join you. "Your Yeux bleus is quite good at handling the media. You, on the other hand. Have got some balls." The Southern Italian accent is vital in your ear and scuff at his bravery. 

"Yes, I do have balls. They're much larger than yours and sitting on my chest." You spit back, rapid-fire Italian, as you turn to face the second in command to the Mafia. "Leave me the fuck alone; I'm here for pleasure, not business. " The man grunts and presses up against you. Without thinking, you move quick and shove a knife into his crotch and cover his mouth. 

"Scream, I fucking dare you too." You seeth, hoping no one can hear you two. "Cunt," You twist the knife as he whimpers like a baby. "Tell your boss that if you ever, and I mean ever, come near me and my baby again, I'll take both your dicks." You quickly shove him off. Looking down at your outfit and hands, you curse and head for privacy. "Boss," One of your men runs up, but you shrug them off. 

"Protect Pierre. I'm sure there might be more of them around. Tell him I'm just freshening up if he's looking for me. The heat is ruining my makeup or something like that." He nods his head and rushes to join your husband's side. Walking into the private bathroom, you sigh as you wash your hands, watching the blood come off. "Can't even be here without spilling some blood." You whisper, feeling that self-hatred blooms in your chest. 

Pierre only ever asked one thing. Don't do work at his work. He could understand, but this time it was you who reacted when you could have easily just drugged the man instead of taking his jewels. "Mrs. Gasly, your husband is about to race." Sighing, you change into one of his shirts tucked into your pants and head out, sliding the thick sunglasses back on. 

Pierre is seen arguing with the bodyguard as he tries to move the guard steps in front of him. "Yeux bleus?" Pierre relaxes upon hearing those words and quickly gathers you in his arms. "I couldn't find you, thought you left." He whimpers, and you hate that you give him this anxiety. Sometimes, he does wake, and you are gone, without a trace or word, and not back for days, even weeks. 

"I'm still here, always." "Not always," It was a low jab, one probably deserved as he rested his cheek in the palm of your hand. "I know. Work keeps me busy." Pierre snorts but refuses to fight about this now. "Just promise me one thing?" He asks, you squint your eyes but nod. 

"Anything," You mean that you'd give him the fucking sun if he asked. "Leave that world, come back to the light for me?" Your face drops, and you step back, shaking your head. "No, if I leave, I can't protect you. Go race, we'll talk later." Pierre's baby blue eyes turn to a dark and stormy grey. "Yeah, right," Biting your tongue, knowing if you were in the privacy of your home, you'd have him being a whimpering begging mess for your forgiveness. 

Watching Pierre climb into the car, and soon the race starts, you stay back, watching as he works his way up the field and into a good position. 

"Boss, sorry but," You sigh, holding up your hand, knowing what he was about to say would ruin this. "Where are we going?" The guy makes a noise and shows you the phone. A text in angry Estonian. "Fuckkkkk," You loved Estonia but now you'd want nothing more than to stay. But you couldn't. 

"Alright, let's go home." Turning back, you nod to the guard that stays with Pierre. No words are needed as he'd explain everything to your husband for you. "We could always stay," Your guard whispers, and you see the silent plea for you to stay, knowing this would result in a huge fight later. "No, I have work. He understands." Walking to the car, you climb in, hearing the roar of the engines and the fading sound of the crowd. 

"He'll understand," You say to no one, leaving it in the air as a silent pray. But Pierre wouldn't understand, not this time. 

[sarah-yyy]

what is war of faith about? is it worth a watch apart from just wang yibo(being gay?)? and where should i watch it?

you were all expecting me to do this so okay let's see how many others i can drag down this shenlai (i think this is the ship name we've settled on?? i have seen many 沈来之笔 tags on ao3 so i'm assuming that's what the chinese fandom has settled on) hole.

what: republican era communist spy drama (finance bros edition) // completed // 38 eps, roughly 40 mins each where: iqiyi (standard disclaimer that i don’t watch with subs so i don’t speak to the quality of eng subs) why: *chanting* yibo yibo yibo yibo yib- wang yang?? xiansheng???? i'll preface by saying i don't watch many republican era shows - it's really just not my thing, like even zhu yilong couldn't make me watch one and that's saying a lot, but i did finish and quite enjoy this one!! extremely strong cast on this show, and the story moved fast enough and had enough action in it that it kept my attention.

meet my boy wei ruolai:

ruolai is from a v humble family, worked hard to put himself through night school but is having trouble stepping foot into the finance world because he has no money, no connections, no diploma (the school is holding off on issuing him one because he's from a communist-stronghold province 😪). he's working several jobs to make ends meet in shanghai when he decides to interview for a job at the central bank.

he aces his entrance test! ofc he does! ruolai is a bit of a whiz with numbers, and is very very very determined to get the job - the place could be on goddamn fire for all he cares, he'll finish his goddamn test and get this goddamn job even if it kills him.

his performance gains him the attention of shen tunan:

xiansheng!! 😍💖💕

chief of the central bank, The Guy™ of the finance and banking industry in shanghai. extremely attractive in a suit. 100% dilf certified.

xiansheng takes a shine on ruolai, but ends up not being able to hire ruolai despite his excellence because, again, ruolai is from a communist-stronghold province, and they don't want to take any chances with him possibly having communist ties.

does that set ruolai back?? no. my boy sneaks into a party that shen tunan is holding at his mansion, and convinces shen tunan to hire him by essentially picking apart shen tunan's ~secret strategies~ that he's uncovered just by following the finance news and making smart deductions 🥺💚

shen tunan caves and personally hires ruolai as his PA, and begins mentoring him and teaching him the ways of the banking industry.

the show is mostly about ruolai's growth in the central bank and the shift of his political beliefs, centred around the kmt and communist party's conflict in that era. the premise of the show is fairly simple - most republican era dramas move in the same direction. this one was well-written, had a solid cast, and beautifully shot.

the development of stn and wrl's relationship in this show was good! it's v shippable, if that's something that is important to you. ngl, i did stay through till the end because these two were so interesting.

we have proud teacher shen tunan who is so so proud of his boy and takes ruolai suit-shopping and tells him how special he is :

starry-eyed disciple wei ruolai who would literally do anything for shen tunan:

he really does mean it when he says that. he gets tortured and thrown in goddamn jail for shen tunan, and he just bears it all and doesn't let himself react in any manner that could harm shen tunan.

i started this strictly for yibo, and had no expectations that i would enjoy it, but guys...........wang yang is 🥵🔥 in this as shen tunan, and this ship just.......sails itself. what else was i supposed to do except go three hundred different levels of ahhhhhhhhh over them.

ANYWAY. strong rec. like at least 8.5/10. even if you're just in it for yibo (who is EXCELLENT in this, the whump scenes are incredible), or if you just want to ship shenlai, the payoff is strong in this.

[engeorged]

The Influencer : Milo

Words by @engeorged

Illustrations by @badoobers

Milo was drifting in life. Now I’m his late twenties he hadn’t really found a purpose in life or a job that lasted for more than 6 months. He was more athletic than smart, but popular and always surrounded by people. He would do pretty much anything to gets a laugh. Setting fire to his farts was his specialty, guaranteed to bring the house down. Once nearly literally when he set fire to the curtains.

Never good enough to be captain but always good enough to be picked first for most things. He excelled in rugby due to his size and build. One thing he was head and shoulders above the rest at. Towering above most of this peers, by the time puberty have finished with him he was 6’6 and built like a house. He had broad shoulders with a physique to match. Thick arms and legs and an ass you might assume was some sort of joke prosthetic. Real country corn fed type with dirty blonde hair and usually some combination of darker facial hair.

When all his friends went off to university, he stayed behind to care for his father who was dying of a rather short lived and aggressive illness. This took him to a fairly dark and lonely place as he hit his twenties. He expected all his old friends to start drifting back to the town they grew up in but most were high flyers and weren’t interested in coming back to that small life. Ever the optimist Milo set about trying to find himself a career. He would try most things once. Hospitality didn’t really suit his bulking frame, knocking stuff over regularly with one of his large limbs. Being the size he was didn’t really suit nipping between tables either. Retail bored him and he rarely lasted a few weeks. Ballon modelling, catering, tree surgery, manual labour all came and went. Nothing really stuck. His life was spent between jobs crashing on sofas and living in his parents basement when that wasn’t an option.

His latest idea was to try and make it as a social media influencer. He was funny enough and decent looking enough to at least have a go but nothing he made seemed to go viral. There were a few times he thought he’d cracked it but his views never made it past the high hundreds. He was currently living above a pizza place in a shitty flat share and supporting himself with three jobs. Dog walking, delivering pizza flyers and a few days looking after some rich guys house whilst he was off round the world. Milo was coming to the sad realisation that he was just like every other washed up jock struggling to hold his shit together.

It was Friday evening and his employer Mr Gordon was away again. This time brokering a merger in Singapore or Shanghai or Seoul, something like that anyway. Milo was sat next to the pool drinking a beer, daydreaming of the day he would have his own house like this. He was in a bit of a funk and a little bit buzzed with the several beers he had downed on his empty stomach. As he brooded on his life he started a bit of a downward spiral. Eventually coming to the conclusion that he’d had enough. The influencer thing was dumb. Influencers were all ball sacks anyway, he wasn’t about that life.

Out of the blue last week he’d had a DM from a friend he’d not seen for years. Will had gotten married straight from college, as his cheerleader girlfriend got pregnant and Milo hadn’t really heard from him since. Apparently he now had a successful business in construction or logistics and after they were chatting he said he had a few entry level jobs going if he was interested. Milo had closed down the message at that point, but right now it was starting to look promising. The pay was ok and he would be trained on the job. Even if it meant a lifetime of desk work, maybe that kind of stability was just what he needed? As usual he couldn’t find his phone so he searched round for it and eventually found it in the footwell of his batteries pickup. Unlocking the screen, he began to go through and delete his five instagram accounts then his twitter handles. He’d leave Facebook as no one bothered with that any more anyway. However, as he opened his TikTok app he noticed a notification at the bottom of the screen. Opening it, his eyes widened, as he saw what was in the message. One of his videos in the last day had actually finally gone and done it. He’d gone viral. Quickly he scrolled through the notifications to work out which video it was and to his surprise it was a mukbang video he’d done a few weeks ago. He’d bought two kfc family buckets and had ploughed through them in half an hour. Chugging the soda at the end and showing everyone his swollen belly. It was a bit of a low point afterwards and he nearly deleted it as it made him feel a bit vulnerable. He was so glad he left it up there as now this might be his ticket to fame.

The video had amassed over 200,000 likes in just over 24 hours. Scrolling through the comments, there were people from all over the world commenting on how amazing the video was and how good he looked. Milo was a little surprised at how many thirsty comments on there. People commenting on how hot the video was and how hot it was to see his bloated belly at the end. They seemed to be impressed at how much he ate as well. He remembered at the time feeling a bit sick but he was a big guy. He was always capable to eating big. He was known for it with his three brothers who would always get a bit competitive over family meals. Especially at Christmas time when they would take bets on who could eat the most. Milo was pretty much the undefeated champion, even now his eldest brother Tom had gotten super fat.

There were hundreds of comments asking for more and demanding a live stream. Taking a moment to think, he came to the slow realisation that he was in a huge mansion with permission to eat anything he wanted. Mr Gordon wouldn’t even notice if he cleared the fridge which was always well stocked. He had already consumed a good dozen beers which was giving him a decent amount of Dutch courage. Dizzy with beer and ambition he hit the live button and headed to the kitchen. Several thoughts rushed through his head whilst he waited. The watcher count stayed at zero for 5 whole minutes. The adrenaline began to wear off and he started feeling embarrassed. Maybe he’d jumped the gun. Maybe he wasn’t destined for internet fame. Maybe the video going viral meant nothing. Just the victim of an algorithm. Then suddenly with a ping the counter went up to one. The lone watcher was typing . . .

🥵

Never had a single emoji made Milo feel so great. A few seconds later, a second ping happened, followed by a third. People were coming. Soon the watcher number began to rise and with an intake of breath Milo began talking. Moving round kitchen he showed the watchers what was in the fridge The beer and wine store was pretty stocked, so that was always an option but the general consensus was that they wanted him to eat not drink. Opening the double doors of the huge fridge revealed a world of options. Someone in the comments even asked him if he could eat the whole lot. To which he laughed and said ‘Maybe!’

In the end it was decided by the group, that he was to eat a load of leftovers from some party Mr Gordon had had a few days before. As soon as Milo started to pull the tubs out of the fridge he began to regret suggesting it. There was a lot of food. Two large tubs, a platter of entrees and a good two thirds of a huge chocolate and caramel cake covered in thick double cream. As he laid it all out on the Italian marble worktop he propped his phone up against the fancy fruit bowl. The watchers were up to 800 and still rising. Adrenaline pumping, Milo started stuffing his face. The comments were rolling in thick and fast. Too fast for him to read but as they rushed past he could see the people were loving it. Lots of little images were pinging up and AR lenses people started to be applying to him, making him look like a cowboy and then an alien and then a cute fluffy teddy bear which everyone agreed made him look adorable with.

As he shovelled in the rich canapés, he could feel his stomach begin to tighten. He wondered whether or not to say anything but the second he did the watcher went crazy for it! So he continued describing to the watchers everything that was happening to him, lifting his T-shirt to show them his slight curve as his thick abs began to rise. There were numbers and emojis flying all over his screen and he had no idea what any of them were but he was obviously smashing it. This gave him some momentum to plough through. The entire platter of entrees were now firmly inside his now gently curved stomach. As he finished the tray he lifted his shirt and showed everyone again, jokingly slamming the tray upside down on the counter.

Over the next hour he ate like he had never eaten before. The first run containing a selection of nibbles, including some of the best duck bao buns he’d ever seen. Every one was decorated to look like a cute little animal which the crowd watching especially enjoyed. After those he stated I inhaling some mini sliders and pulled pork blinis. He began to slow down a little as the tub began to empty and so, needing a little break, he stood and pulled his shirt completely off revealing his now substantially distended stomach. The comments were turning slightly feral as people were lapping it up this slab of a man, stuffing himself silly. Giving him instructions to rub it or push it out. There were a few weird vaguely sexual suggestions which he put out of his head for now. There was time to process that later. However, on the whole everyone was loving his engorged stomach. Who knew this was the thing would turn him into an influencer?

In the flurry of messages, one user was beginning to stand out. The messages he sent were in bold and a mustard yellow colour which made them stand out. Pausing the chat so he could try and read them, they came from user @fulltank87, who seemed to be offering some advice. The guy advised Milo to head to the fridge and grab a bottle of soda and chug it as fast as he could without belching and hold it for as long as he could whilst leaning to the right. He ran to the fridge and slowed down as his fullness hit him. Grabbing a 2 litre bottle of coke he lined up the shot and got ready. @fulltank87 gave one more instruction to push a straw into the neck of the bottle and push the end down the side. This came back to Milo as a cheap way of doing a beer bong. Rummaging through the cupboards he finally found a plastic straw and popped it inside the neck. Getting back into position so the audience could get the best view, he lifted the bottle to his lips and threw it back. The coke pushed down his throat fast nearly causing him to cough and choke but he managed to push through. Closing his eyes he concentrated on the heavy flow of the coke surging down into his already swollen gut. He had a way of relaxing his throat so he didn’t need to swallow which came back to him from his rugby party days. From the side the viewers got a perfect view of his thick adams apple bobbing up and down with the liquid and if you looked carefully you could see his stomach inching out a little further.

Toward the end the coldness of the cokeand the bubbles were hurting the back of his throat and he nearly had to stop, but he knew he could make it. With a loud roar he finished the whole thing and immediately felt sick. Remembering the suggestion, he leant to the right and tried to hold it but he could feel bubbles rushing up his nose. With another almighty roar he let out the biggest burp he had ever done. He could literally feel his belly going down as the gas escaped.

Instead of turning people off, this seemed to be the highlight of the live. Approval was pouring in from the now people watching, which now had reached 1k. The adoration and attention he was receiving, along with and the stretch provided by the coke gave him the momentum to keep going. Pulling open the second tub he found a whole load of chicken wings which were his all time favourite. There must have been at least thirty of them. He teased the load to the watching crowd who responded with more of the same reaction. Looking down at his stomach he was a little scared. He wasn’t this big when he did the kfc mukbang video. He’d seen his belly like this before at family gatherings but looking at how much food was left he would definitely be pushing his limit.

Milo decided to tell the live stream exactly how he was feeling, hoping it would endear him to people. He showed them how swollen stomach was, running his hand across is distended bulge. He was feeling an awful lot of pressure just under his ribs which he half remembered was where his stomach was. Obviously, tips and comments poured in from that point. People telling him how to eat, what angle to eat at, the speed at which he should eat them. Overwhelmed, he found a way to filter just @fulltank87’s comments, who was calmly explaining to him how he just needed to simply keep a fast pace up and rhythmically start eating. So Milo did just that. He got into a rhythm of breaking the wing and stripping the meat off with his teeth and sucking the succulent flesh off of it. Whilst he chewed it and swallowed, he prepped the next wing. Ignoring the pressure building up inside him he ploughed through and within 15 minutes the tub was empty. Standing again he proudly displayed his swollen belly. It was now much more pronounced. Making his long torso, oval as it swelled. Giving time for some audience interaction would be a good move to let him have a little breather. Rubbing his furry stomach and arching his back for emphasis he showed off the results of his feasting.

Milo was beginning to feel as if he wasn’t able to eat any more when he glanced at the watchers. He was up to 1.2k which was insane. He needed to finish this for the people watching. Plus, if he could finish this challenge he could definitely build a whole career out of this. The only thing left in the counter was the large cake. The only way he was doing this was to totally ignore the uncomfortable feeling of his belly pushing against the counter. This was possible. The end was in sight. And that end was 4000 calories of rich cake. Spurred on by the encouragements, Milo found the largest spoon he could find and stood up for this final lap. There was nothing for it but to undo the top button on his shorts which popped satisfyingly. He felt his stomach relax as it filled the space vacated. This also had the unfortunate impact of sliding his zipper all the way down. Panicking, he checked his phone screen and thankfully today was not a day when he had chosen to go commando.

Determined to finish this he hefted a large spoon full of the cake and pushed it into his mouth. The cake was unbelievable. The cake was light and fluffy with bitter dark chocolate ganache through it. The sweet salted caramel sauce filled his tastebuds with electricity. All offset but the light but heavy whipped cream. The cake was perfection. Pushing on he crammed more and more of the cake into his mouth, cream and chocolate smeared all over his face. He was beginning to loose himself in the tastes that were filling his brain, almost numb to the building swell of his stomach. The viewers going wild in the comments. Urging him to finish his challenge. Milo had an almost out of body experience where he was watching himself eat on his phone. On the screen, his stomach was comically distended, curving up from the gaping v of his fly. His neatly trimmed stomach hair covered in grease from the food on his hands as he had rubbed his distended gut. In a dream-like state he watched himself finish the cake. The whole thing now concealed inside his hugely bloated stomach. Comments and congratulations from all the watchers were streaming in as he stood face on to the camera breathing heavily. Belching under his breath he assured them he would be back and leant forward and turned the live stream off.

The silence in the kitchen was deafening. The only sounds he could hear were the faint gurgle of his stomach digesting the huge quantity of food and his own heart, beating in his ears.

Looking down his normally flat stomach was arched out from his body. He felt utterly packed full. He just about managed to make it to the shower where he stripped off and got in underneath the rainfall setting. The warm water soothing his massively swollen dome of a gut. He couldn’t even really move. He just allowed the soothing water to wash off the evidence gluttony. As he stood there with his eyes closed his thoughts turned to what he might do next.

Find Part Two here

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

Time for a pretty obscure character, it’s Miss Martine! In the Rodier version of Alph-Art everyone is incredibly 70s, while I love 70s fashion I thought I’d do my own design of her that’s rooted in the 30s. I was very much inspired by Miss Lemon from ITV’s Poirot.

Tintin absolutely needs some female friends, and friends that are more his age. I can imagine Martine, Chang and Tintin forming a chaotic trio and tearing up Brussels!

Martine is left in a predicament after her former employer was murdered. The case of his death may have been solved and her name may have been cleared, but she is now left in unemployment during an economic depression. 

She reluctantly goes to Tintin for help; things are a little awkward as he previously turned her down when she asked him out at the end of the last case. At Marlinspike she meets Chang who is just moving into his room, and she bumps into Ramo Nash, an artist who worked with the art gallery she was formerly employed at. Nash has been secretly seeing Captain Haddock so has been around Marlinspike more frequently.

Nash informs her of a new exhibition he’s working on at the Museum of Art and History and suggests she applies to work there as a curator. Chang helps break the awkward tension, leaving Martine intrigued about Tintin’s friend from Shanghai.

Martine decides to follow Nash’s advice and applies for work at the museum. Chang and Tintin tag along as Tintin wants to show Chang around the city. Before the interview Martine has a panic attack - Chang manages to calm her down and gives her encouragement. She later gets the job and quickly forms a friendship with Chang, the two often going out in the evening to dance at local jazz bars and dance halls.

In between cases the three of them meet up to hang out. Tintin isn’t used to spending time with his peers so is a little socially awkward. He also still feels guilty for accusing Martine of murdering her former employee, as well as for not reciprocating any feelings for her.

To smooth things out and to thank Chang for his help Martine decides to invite them to the museum’s archive for a behind-the-scenes tour, before Chang is due to return to Shanghai to see his family for the Lunar New Year. Chang’s excitement quickly turns cold when he sees artefacts that have been stolen through colonial force. He quietly laments to Tintin, who impulsively decides to steal an ancient Chinese whistle to return it to its place of origin.

The museum descends into chaos. Nash’s exhibition is cancelled. There is a huge police investigation. Martine is a prime suspect yet again. Tintin is, suspiciously, missing. She and Chang work together to track him down to clear her name. Rather conveniently, Tintin turns up in China having “retrieved” the missing whistle, but when she inspects it closely she can tell it’s a fake. She confronts Tintin about this, but Tintin tells her if it becomes known the real whistle is gone she may lose her job. Martine is horrified at his betrayal.

She decides to stay quiet but cuts ties with Tintin. She remains friends with Chang but warns him to be careful, and not to get too close to Tintin or his work. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to report a delivery driver?

i (x21) am visiting family in shanghai rn, i have never prior been here, and i am actively learning about the work situations in this city

my problem: i’m baking right now. macaroons to be specific, and we didn’t have any powdered sugar left so we ordered some online. the package should have arrived over 20 minutes ago, we already called and he said that sugar is not important, so he was doing other stuff first, my brothers gf told him to get here asap (he still ist here btw), and i suggested that we report him to his employer.

immediate shutdown of the idea, “it’s just a small thing” “not that serious” “he might get fired”

yeah? he might? but he isn’t doing his job? everyone would get fired for that he’s not special?

delivery drivers don’t make a lot of money, i get that, but that still isn’t a good reason for him to just not do his job? i have friends who also lost jobs because they didn’t do it properly/at all

personally i would just report him, but i also kinda feel icky that him loosing his job is an acceptable outcome for me

am i an a-hole for that?

What are these acronyms?

[cleostoohot]

Cleooo im the anon that promised to write my void success story!

Sooo this is my journey:

I found out about the void in late june, it was my 12 year old sister that had told me about it/loa, (i'm 17 btw) and at first I was like "no this is fake, no way" during the course of june-the day i entered the void i had only actually tried to enter 5 times, each time i flipped over and went to sleep. I would constantly doubt myself and procrastinate the void i was like, "nah, i'll do it tmr instead" etc. what got me together was the fact that my sister kept telling me how good our lives would be like when we entered (I was struggling much more than her). She was more interested in manifesting without the void. Anyways I imagined myself with the life of my dreams gave myself pep talks and on september 19th I told myself "fck it, I'm entering the void tonight"

This is how I entered:

I meditated to clear all the thoughts out of my mind (I did the 444 breathing method, inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4)

Once there were NO thoughts in my mind I begin to affirm ("I am in the void", "I am the void" were the ones I used)

After about 2-3 mins (I can't remember exactly) I felt like I was being sucked into darkness, complete fcking darkness

I kept affirming for about another minute then I got that floating feeling and by that point I knew I was in the void

I was in complete darkness ( i didn't see any stars btw) , I couldn't feel anything or hear anything, I felt like I was pure, just..me it's hard to explain but tbh it was he best feeling ever

I used the blanket affirmation: "I have all my desires from my notes app" and then I was outta the void

the feeling coming out of the void was... CRAZY i've never experience before.. it was surreal

Now onto the good stuff, what I manifested (A LOT):

Desired mansion

Desired face

desired body

desired voice

instantly entering the void

perf self concept for me n my sis

desired biological mum and dad

no depression

desired friend grp

desired wardrobe

desired things from my pintrest board

a wish diary

holiday to france and shanghai for christmas

desired grades (a+ ofc)

Getting desired scholarships

Meeting famous people

never in danger

$10 mil

my family n friends always being safe

desired apple products

AND SOOOOO MUCH MOREE

omg this took me AGESS!!

i'll prob post another longer and more detailed post later on but expect my sister's success story soon ;)

for cleo: tysmmmm ilysmmmm omg u n raven are the BEST I LOVE YALL SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH, TY FOR MOTIVATING AND MAKING ME FEEL SAFE IN THIS COMMUNITY!! WITHOUT YALL I'D STILL BE IN MY ABUSIVE AND TOXIC HOME!!!! THANK YOU SMMM FOR SUPPORTING ME AND BEING THERE FOR ME!!!! I love you guys sosossoooo much

for the people struggling: GET OFF UR ASS AND DO THIS!! YOU KNOW U CAN, I KNOW U CAN, U WILL DO THIS, U WILL, IM ROOTING FOR YALL!!

love again,

-rosie 🧡 🧡 🧡  (ps. I'll be back soon)

her other post

great job my love you deserve it!!! i love receiving success stories in my inbox! keep ‘em comingggg