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uselesssomebody · 1 year

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𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕛𝕦𝕝𝕪 (𝕝𝕝)- neighbor!joel miller x reader (pre!outbreak)

complete masterlist | joel miller masterlist

"𝕚 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕚 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖" - you can be the boss | lana del rey

words || 𝟞.𝟠𝕜

summary || in which the reader and joel don't speak for a few months

previous part || fourth of july (I)

a/n || this is very feral but badly written smut; bad combo, man ➵ it's exam szn so me posting will be sporadic i can't lie. ➵ experimenting with the accent, tell me what y'all think ➵ same disclaimer: there is an age gap in this story !! if that makes you uncomfortable, i have many other non-age-gap fics you can browse on my page. reader is like 27 and joel is like 36. he's not old, though he is mentioned as such because he's old compared to her. also canonical dilf ➵ not edited (yet) ➵ i've been on a bit of a pascal spree and am thinking about writing for javier pena, frankie morales, agent whiskey and din djarin whenever i find time to update, so ➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smut/bit of angst➵ unprotected p.i.v. ➵ oral (f receiving) ➵ fingering ➵ cum ig (tell me if i miss anything)

it was nicky’s first day of school. that was how much time had passed.

she adjusted her hair in the mirror for a moment, as her sister wrapped up her lunch and placed it neatly into a bag. as she came down the stairs, she had a distinct pep in her step, practically waltzing into the kitchen before she sat to eat her breakfast.

“someone’s excited!” nicky nodded at her sister’s accurate assessment, as she scarfed down the scrambled eggs on her plate. her sister watched her fondly, handing her some water, and then a napkin, before sitting opposite her.

the two sat, conversing in between nicky’s bites: nicky was telling her about all the things that she’d heard from sarah about the school, and her sister was listening adamantly, only interrupting her in order to remind her to chew her food.

when she was done, she grabbed her bag, kissed her sister on the cheek, and opened to door to meet her friends, making her way to the bus stop just a few doors down. her sister looked up to see the neighbor opposite them looking over the group with a similar smile on her face, as her daughter goes to join the group as well. she waves at her, and the neighbor smiles back.

they’d been in the neighborhood for a few months, and she found the people around her to be simply a part of her routines - waving at jerry the postman, greeting martha and john when either left for work, or spending a few minutes each afternoon petting the pinscher that the marriots had gotten when his daily walk passed her lawn.

she was accustomed to it all. except for one little thing.

joel miller.

after that fourth of july evening, she felt as though he’d been avoiding her like the plague, always jetting in and out of the house at odd times in his pickup, and seemingly stuck to the confines of his place whenever she was outside, tending to the small plants on their lawn to keep it presentable and inviting. when she smiled at or greeted him, he’d give her a curt nod or a gruff good morning, before taking just slightly longer strides away.

it threw her for a loop completely, unable to understand how the man could go from the affection present in their moment of intimacy, to something as foreign as a stranger. for the first couple days, she found herself offended and a little insulted by the change in attitude, before it morphed into something more carefree as she came to the conclusion everyone comes to at some point in their life.

men ain’t shit.

joel miller should have woken up that morning to the sound of his alarm, but the late night he’d had to pull last night had rendered him half dead as he slumbered deeper into the morning.

it took sarah shouting for him, knocking at his door, and then tentatively stepping inside to grab his arm and physically lug him up. the pressure around his forearm made him groggily open his eyes and, seeing her impatient but amused face, he nodded with a groan, ensuring her that he’d be up in a moment.

sarah’s uncle tommy was eating out of their pantry as he plated her toast, handing the slices over to her as her father descended the stairs. he patted sarah’s shoulder as he passed her, and she mumbled a sarcastic good morning through her bites. tommy smiled at his brother’s barely-awake face as joel reached for his coffee.

“you look like shit,” he chides, as joel sips out of his large mug. he places it down, shaking his head as he grasps his food from tommy’s fingers, and placing it back where it belongs.

“and ya eat like shit, tom.” tommy’s expression turns exaggeratedly indignant, and sarah laughs as she see it. she places her plate into the sink as she wipes her mouth, and she sidesteps her father to grab her backpack.

“you don’t need to drop me off - i’m gonna head to the bus with nicky and some of the other girls.” joel’s curious expression peers over his mug, but, seeing sarah’s excited face as her eyes glanced to the windows to see if her friends had already left home, he smiles into the beverage.

“’lright.” she smiles, making a beeline for the door as he follows her to wave her off. “ya ready?” he asks, as she puts her sneakers on and, when she rises again, she nods, almost solemnly.

“i’ll see you tonight?” joel winced, scratching his head as he thought about how long he’d be on-site that day.

“i - i think so?” it’s not a statement, instead a question, but it makes sarah smile a little as she rolled her eyes, pulling her father into a goodbye hug. he squeezed her tightly, before opening the door for her and watching her walk over to nicky and her sister’s place.

when he looked up, he saw the younger girl exit her house, her sister in the doorway as she said goodbye to her.

she was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, obviously also not having been awake for too long, but the mere sight of her makes joel adjust on the heels of his feet, straightening his back as leaned just slightly against the door way.

she was as gorgeous as two months ago, when he’d had the pleasure of seeing her in that much less. every time he saw her petting that one little dog, or meticulously looking over her flowers, all he wanted to do was hold her again.

but, of course, he realized how it looked: he was getting older; even sarah had started teasing him about it, and, well, she wasn’t. she may have had a type excluding men her age, but that wasn’t feasible - and joel had panicked after the realization that, though the sex was great, he wasn’t particularly capable of being much more than that for her without her having to sacrifice a likely healthier and more realistic relationship. besides, after his experience with sarah’s mother, he had always been worried as to what to do and how to handle future endeavors with women. so, he’d pretty much sworn off them.

that didn’t make it any easier when he had to pretend he didn’t care all that much about her when her gaze radiated in his direction.

tommy peeked out of the doorway, trying to see what had so keenly captured his brother’s attention. following his gaze, he sees the neighbor that sarah had been telling him about previously, and he suppressed a laugh as he looked between her soft, smiling figure and his brother’s ‘kicked puppy’ expression. he patted his chest as he exited the house, ready to start the car.

“don’t stare too much - y’already look like a creep.” joel blinked his thoughts away as he focused on his brother’s advice. he rolled his eyes, grabbing the car keys that tommy had somehow forgot and tossing them to him as he locked the door.

“stop runnin’ yer mouth, tommy.”

she found herself home alone so much more now. of course, she had work to keep her distracted, but she’d wrap up quickly, not having quite that much to do as she waited for her sister to come back and for her to routinely explain the events of her day. she’d subscribed herself to an almost-riveting nature show that would air in the afternoons, feeling her eyes focus and unfocus on the colorful videos of birds or the tense videos of predators and prey.

on the days the two girls wanted a bit of privacy, or maybe some quiet, they would head over the millers’ place, knowing that mr.miller wouldn’t be back in for another few hours

but when they didn’t, nicky’d tend to bring sarah back to hers for a bit. her sister was more than happy to accommodate the two girls, enjoying the company and finding a distinct amusement in their banter. sarah spent just as much time talking to her as she did nicky, mostly for - shockingly enough - cooking tips. she’d mentioned how often her father was out of the house, and how that owed to her sometimes becoming bored of the takeout that he or her uncle would bring, and that she would usually eat the leftovers from the next night.

when she suggested that she teach her some basic meals to add some variety to her dinners, sarah was more excited than expected. that enthusiasm, and the fact that she was a fast learner contributed to the both of them spending many a evening experimenting with some new meal that one of the three girls picked up. though nicky would usually listen in to the lessons, or help organize the correct ingredients or pans, she spent nearly as much time trying to swipe bites from practically each step of the cooking process, owing to sarah’s continued amusement, and her sister’s exaggerated annoyance.

truly, sarah had sometimes found it a bit lonely at her place, only really seeing her family when her father or uncle would sporadically pop-in as they’d forgotten some documents, or something like that. now, though, she was relieved that that loneliness didn’t occur as much, in the sweet company of her neighbors.

so, when she bid nicky goodbye a little early one night, as she’d had to go home and speak with her parents, she was shocked to find, as she unlocked her door, the dull sound of the t.v., followed by a mumbled greeting from her father. she turned the corner to the living room, and his tired form was sprawled over the couch, with a her-shaped spot next to him. she took the opportunity, sitting beside him as he gave her a quick squeeze, only half-paying attention to his surroundings.

“how was work?” she said it into the small space between her and her father, and, though she was quiet, her voice was loud in the near-silent house.

“amazing.” he whispered back sarcastically, making her smile.

“well, have you had dinner?”

“’ve ya?” he countered, and she shook her head, using his knee to lever herself up, heading to the kitchen. he quirked an eyebrow as his eyes followed her steps, “what’re ya doing?” she poked her head back into the hall between the living room and kitchen.

“making something to eat?” he had assumed that she was going to make a sandwich, so, when he heard her turn on the stove, he looked in her direction, confused. finally, he pushed himself up, heading towards her to see what she was doing.

she’d pulled out a few things as he leaned against the doorway, watching her.

“what’re ya making?”

sarah mumbles the name of the dish, mentioning how their neighbor had been polite enough to teach her the recipe, as she continues to move around the kitchen, meticulously following the steps that she remembered.

“well, d’ya want any help?” sarah shakes her head.

“you’ll throw me off,” she chided, making joel laugh.

over the next couple weeks, joel had had the pleasure of eating more home-grown food as opposed to the takout he’d practically been thriving off for the previous months, all at the hand of his daughter.

though he felt worried she’d overexert herself, he found her to be excitable as opposed to annoyed about the prospect, and he attempted to make it up to her by releasing her from a few of her other chores.

on one colder october evening, nicky comes back home a little earlier than usual, getting comfortable on the couch, to the shock of her sister.

“hey, nick? how was school?” nicky shrugged, fiddling with the remote, as she gestured for her sister to join her.

“it’s fine. i’ve got a math test next thursday.” her sister went to join her, letting nicky rest her head on her thigh, her eyes trained to the t.v.

“need any help with it?” nicky shook her head, the movement dragging over her sister’s thigh.

“actually, i wanted to ask: bea’s having a birthday sleepover at her place this friday. can i go?” suddenly, the affection clicked in her sister’s head. she’d done the same thing when asking their parents to go meet her friends, hoping the added sweetness would convince them to let her. of course, the same treatment wasn’t necessary with her, but it definitely didn’t hurt.

“sure, nick. where does she live?”

“closer to the city. her mom said she’d pick us up after school and take us there.”

“’lright, hun. get your bag set up well, okay?” nicky smiled at the confirmation, before sinking further into her sister and enjoying the movie she’d clicked on.

she has a meeting that afternoon, and it was her first face-to-face one since settling in austin. the company she worked for really pushed a work-from-home agenda, but, every quarter, they’d indulge in a conference in order to maintain good professional connections and ensure everything was running smoothly.

she was just slightly worried she’d be late, as she attempted to smooth down her blouse and skirt, struggling just slightly with the front of her heels not allowing perfect breathing room for her toes. she grabbed her purse as she stuffed an out-of-place clump of hair back into place. the light curls framing her face did a lot to add to the professional nature of her look, but one thing that would definitely not contribute to a professional first impression would be arriving late. she looks at the watch on her wrist as she exits her house, wincing as she tried to remember the direction towards the stop from where she’d have to catch her bus into the city.

from just a few meters away, joel’s placing his tools into the back of his truck, getting ready to head into the city for a job he and his brother had been called in on. he glances up when he hears the faint clack of heels on the pavement, and he nearly does a double take when he sees her.

sure, she’d been nice and dressed-up for that neighborhood barbecue, but nothing quite like this. he averted his gaze in a moment, remembering what tommy had told him the other day, but, when he sneaks another peek at her, he notices her confused impression.

“’re ya alright?” against his better judgment, he starts bridging the gap between them, calling her name, making her whip her head towards him.

she’s pretty sure she hasn’t spoken to him in, like, a month, so she can’t really look at his still-intense gaze, instead fidgeting with the strap of her purse.

“hmm? yeah, ‘ve just got this meeting to get to - honestly i’m running a bit late-” she can feel herself beginning to nervously ramble, so she cuts herself off.

“which direction are you heading in?” she finally looks up at him, shaking her head.

“into the city? i’m actually looking for the bus stop.” he gestures to his car.

“c’mon, i’ll give you a ride.” her mouth hangs open for a moment, shocked by the offer, before she shakes her head.

“no - joel, you don’t have to do that-”

“the buses come every 30 minutes, besides, i’m heading to the city anyways.” conflicted, she goes to disagree again, but decides not to. she allows him to accompany her to his pickup, and thanks him when he helps her into the passenger seat.

as he starts up the vehicle, she adjusts a little in her seat, suddenly feeling warm in the knowledge of her proximity with her neighbor.

“thanks, again, joel.” she mumbles, as he pulls out of his driveway.

“don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” she’s a little shocked by the reuse of the nickname, but doesn’t hate the feeling it reignites in her. joel, on the other hand, cringes at the slip of his tongue, reminding himself that this interaction was strictly in order to help his neighbor, and not the otherwise beautiful woman in his front seat, whose skirt he was trying very hard not to focus on, as he kept his eyes religiously on the road in front of him, “what’re ya all dressed up for?” he sniffs, an attempt at small talk as the danger of silence threatens to envelop the distinctly small space between them.

“oh - um, yeah. i’ve got this conference for work, and - well, have to look professional, y’know.” he hums in agreement, but his brow quirks.

“i thought ya work from home?” she glances over at him, confused as to how he’d known. though many things happened during that one evening together, she didn’t remember telling him that.

“yeah, i - the company has 4 conferences annually, to make sure everyone still remembers everyone, i guess.” his lips don the hint of a smile at the quasi-joke, “how’d - how did you know?” joel’s eyes trace over her expression for a half-moment, before returning to the road.

“i - sarah’s mentioned it.”

“oh, of course.” that silence creeps up on them once more, and it makes her swallow dryly, “um, nicky was telling me about this sleepover she’s got in the city,” she continues, “i assume sarah’s going, too?” joel nods, running a hand through his hair.

“yup - girl’s excited too. was shocked, she’s not the type to go to these things.” she smiles at the comment.

“nicky’s a bad influence.” she makes a joke, and he finally smiles, putting her at substantial ease.

“eh - ya make up for it.” he makes the comment lowly, and she wonders if she’s supposed to have heard it.

her breath stills, as she glances at his unemotive expression, as she wonders what the hell he means.

“wh - what?” joel’s eyes widen just slightly as he realizes the implication of his words.

“you’re - y’re a good influence, s’all i’m saying. with ‘er cookin’ now n’all.” his southern accent comes out heavily in his lightly flustered state, and she suppresses her laugh so as to not embarrass him further.

“right. she’s cooking for you too, now?” he nods.

“almost ev’ry night. damn good food, too.” she laughs at his aggressive praise for his daughter.

“i’m assuming nothing for friday, then?” he sighs, not really having thought about that.

“yeah, wonder how i’ll manage.”

her friday had started with a 4 hour call from 8 in the morning, fleshing out the plans for the upcoming quarter discussed briefly during her face-to-face conference.

after joel had dropped her off, he’d offered to pick her up as well, but she’d been insistent he not worry about it, citing he’d done more than enough for her already, and she’d instead taken a ride home with a coworker who, shockingly enough, lived in the same area as her.

she’d helped nicky set up her bag during the opening hour of her call, fixing her a hearty breakfast, and having over some money in the event of an emergency. she smiled at her young sister’s bubbly attitude over the prospect of her sleepover than night and, later, when she saw nicky meet up with sarah, she saw that same emotion plastered over the other young girl’s face.

her next few hours consisted of another two calls, a presentation for a meeting next week that she had to make, and maybe a grand total of a fuck ton of emails.

she had just the slightest hint of a moment of reprieve in the afternoon, so she spent a moment taking a breath of fresh air, stepping outside onto her porch. she glances to her right, almost instinctively, and she feels a distinct lack of surprise that his pickup wasn’t in the driveway. he really was out of the house a lot.

she remembered what he’d jokingly mumbled in his car when she’d mentioned sarah wouldn’t be home tonight: how would he manage? of course, she was sure he’d be just fine, but that didn’t stop her from feeling sympathetic at the, likely tired, man’s plight for what would likely just be leftovers of monotonous take-out.

knowing this, and knowing that she did technically owe him for the ride he’d given her, that night, she made a little extra for dinner, packing it up as she finished cleaning the kitchen before her own meal. she can see his car in his driveway now, just a little earlier than the long nights sarah would mention her father pull, and, with a steely resolve, she dons a sweater to combat the uncharacteristically cold night air.

after she’d knocked on the door, and was waiting for joel to answer, she wondered if this was a stupid idea. did it come as desperate? intrusive? assumptive? it wasn’t like they just did this, hell, they spoke for the first time in months just a few days ago. and since, it’d been realistically radio silent.

she tries to quell her racing mind. she was just being a friendly neighbor. it wasn’t like she was trying to get in his pants - again - right?

she’s snapped from her thoughts when he opens the door, donning just a solid grey shirt and sweatpants. she spends a half moment just blinking at his chest, before shaking herself out of it, smiling as she adjusted to look at him.

“hey - hey, joel. i never properly thanked you for the drive and i know sarah’s out so -” instead of fully explaining her presence, she opts instead to brandish the tupperware box with his assumed dinner, placing it into his slightly confused hands.

“i, you - ya didn’t have to do that.” his voice is a little hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in a few hours, and she looks away from him, suddenly embarrassed.

“i - i know, i just thought i’d -” she trails off, and he shakes his head.

“no - no, i really ‘preciate it. here, come in.” her eyes widened at his offer, assuming this to be a simple drop-off.

“oh - um-” she hesitates, “right, thanks.” she slides past his frame as he closes the door behind her.

she wonders why he’d be willing to let her in after placing so much distance in between them. he wonders why he’s opening himself up to temptation after trying so hard to avoid her.

they both come to the same conclusion: he’s just being a friendly neighbor.

he goes to set the dinner table for the both of them, placing the box on the kitchen counter, but, seeing the documents he’d haphazardly scattered on it this morning, he gestures to the couch.

“oh, shit,” she peers in to see if everything’s alright, and the lightly flustered look on his face makes her shakily exhale - though quietly. when he turns to her, she tries to smile, “uh - make yerself comfortable, ‘lright?” she nods as she resists the urge to peel off her sweater in the warmer house, knowing she wasn’t exactly wearing much under it.

she can hear the tinkering of plates in the kitchen, and she lets her eyes drift over the minimal but homely living room, the added decoration of a couple of sarah’s trophies on the mantelpiece being a sweet touch.

when he walked in with two plates, he was quick to tell her to turn something on, if she wished. she obliges, taking the plate he’d set for her, flicking through the channels until she found something, realistically, not remotely interesting. a few minutes into it, they eat in near silence.

“god, this is good.” he mumbles, not even attempting to praise her - moreso in observation. she laughs at the comment, looking back at him, as he attempts to fix himself up and properly appreciate her.

“thanks, joel.” they’re silent for another moment.

“ya didn’t have to do this f’r me, sweetheart.” he mentions, and she swallows.

he’s getting too comfortable with that nickname.

“i wanted to.” when she glances at him, he’s got the ghost of a smile in his expression.

sporadic conversation graced their meal, but the majority of it carried in silence. unknown to the other, both spent a long time stealing glances at the other, appreciating the way that the low light of the room accentuated their features.

finally, when she rose to place her plate away, she swiped his own empty one before he could tell her to sit down and act like an actual guest, taking them both to the sink. he follows her, the movie quickly abandoned as he places the rest of the food into his fridge.

she’s turned on the faucet as his back is turned to her, and he turns back to see her beginning to wash the few dishes in the sink.

“no - wait-” he goes to stop her but she brandishes a soapy hand to ward him off, laughing at his immediate recoil, “ya can’t-” he attempts to dissuade her from the action once again, but she’s not having it.

“joel - you’ve had a long day. it’s just one thing, isn’t it?” a silence falls over him, as he mulls over her words.

he’d not mentioned a thing about how long his day was - or how truly exhausted he felt on his way home. she just knew, and went the extra step of trying to make it that bit better for him. it’d been the same with the food she’d brought over: he’d not asked for it once, yet she felt compelled to do it simply through her caring nature. he thinks about how much she seems to care, and how upset he would feel to lose that, regardless of the taboo that their relationship would entail.

and he thinks about how much he missed caring about how she felt.

so, when she turned around, wiping her hands on the cloth beside her, she was shocked to feel the gentle tug of her body towards the kitchen counter, as joel’s warm hands grip her now lightly cold wrists. she’s shocked by the gesture, but even more shocked when she feels his hand on her cheeks, pulling her lips into his. it’s a languid motion, soft, and satisfying, as she allows the brush of her soft lips to graze the coarseness of his own.

she pulls away for a moment, if for nothing more than to breathe, and joel exhales, shaking his head.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart, i shouldn’t have-” she cuts him off by tipping her head forward, hungry to feel his lips against hers again. his beard tickles her chin, but she can barely pay it any mind, enraptured by the warmth of his body. she reciprocates the movement of his hands, pulling at his neck to press up more closely against him, as she felt his own gently holding and squeezing her waist. the cold of her hands sends a shiver up his spine, but the sensation does nothing to rival the jolts he gets when he feels her tongue graze against his own.

“fuck, joel. what’re we doing?” she mumbles it into the air above him as his head ducks into her neck, his chapped lips ghosting over the skin of her throat.

“m’sorry, sweetheart, le’me make you feel good?” it’s a question, but it doesn’t exactly wait for an answer as his teeth begin nipping the supple flesh of her barely exposed chest.

“i’ll - god, joel-” her breath’s just a little more labored now, and she’s itching for the wandering hands on her waist to meander their way further south.

knowing himself, he knows that there’s little chance he’ll have the patience to take her all the way upstairs, so, in just a moment of reprieve, he opts instead for the couch, not detaching himself from her form as he guided her there.

“c’mere, baby,” his voice is nothing over a whisper, but the licks of soft baritone grace it, making her immediately oblige, allowing him to pull her onto his spread legs over the couch cushions, the movie behind them providing a quiet ambiance, doing little to disguise the sounds of her soft gasps, and his rough exhales, as he eases her sweater off, pulling her chest into his fervent lips.

she can’t help the buck of her hips as his teeth pull as the supple skin of her chest and breasts, and she can feel his smile against her when he feels the grind of her hips over his. he can sense her desperation pique as he continues, so, taking hold of her back, he’s quick to set her down against the couch.

she’s a little shocked by the action, rising up on her elbows to see him beginning to unbutton her jeans.

“take these off for me, sweetheart,” it’s not a question anymore, and she finds her hands working faster than her brain can, sliding the fabric off her thighs and calves in one swift motion. he helps her the rest of the way, doing little to hide his fixation on her anticipating expression. when he’d finally removed the offending clothing, he looked down at her, taking her ankles in his hands and placing them over his shoulders. he doesn’t break eye contact, allowing her ragged breathing to be the only discernible noise to his ears as he lowered down towards her thighs.

she can feel the tension in muscles dissipate - though not entirely - when his lips finally make contact with her inner thigh, pulling her up by her hips just a bit to place her in a more favorable position to him. he kisses up the soft flesh of both her thighs, doing a immensely annoying job of teasing her just right.

“joel - joel, please.” she’s not ashamed to beg after the third time his lips choose to press against the corner of her panties, before swiftly switching to her other thigh.

“hmm? whad’ya want me to do sweetheart? wanna le’me taste this pretty pussy?” his casual tone is overshadowed by the nature of his words, and she feels her stomach churn at the direct statement. she can’t do much but nod, light ‘please, please - please!’s tumbling off her lips. it’s enough for him, though, finally obliging her as he pulls the fabric of her underwear to the side, letting a slight chill graze her exposed cunt, causing her to shiver.

when she feels his tongue lightly trace a circle over her clit, the tension of her muscles crash, making her let out a long, low, shaky exhale. it’s not a moment of reprieve, though, as his assault quickens, his tongue meandering over her slit with a passion - renewing that tension, though now in her core.

his pace switches between quick and languid at a moment’s notice, causing her body to be unable to release the tension in time, but to rather hold onto it for longer, staving off her orgasm with precision as his thumb pulls lightly at the apex of her cunt, putting pressure on - but not quite on - her clit as his tongue experimentally dipped in and around her dripping entrance.

he begins to speed up again, and it manifests in moans and whimpers spilling from her lips as she attempts to place a hand over her loud mouth, though, when he slows down for the umpteenth time, he heard a garbled sound fall from her instead.

“fuck - joel, please, don’t fucking tease!” her frustration had gotten the better of her, and it only increased when she felt him smile against her cunt.

“tell me what ya want, baby.” she swallows roughly, her thighs tensing just slightly against his head, before she lets out a shaky breath.

“please - please, let me cum.” for a moment, he doesn’t move, and she wants to scream at his lack of action, but that’s until she feels his clloused fingers against her thigh.

his mouth reattaches to her cunt, alternating between short, quick licks and sucking, as he eases two of his fingers into her, with little resistance. the added sensation against her walls makes her toes curl, her moans only growing louder.

her orgasm, already impending, suddenly feels as if it’s been increased tenfold by the drag of his fingers against a specific soft spot inside her, the movement of them in and out of her allowing them a way to find that spot each time. that, accompanied with his mouth’s renewed focus on her clit, makes her want to scream, and she does, as the tightened sensation in her stomach snaps, the tension building to her orgasm releasing with an aggressive sensitivity.

her moans are broken as he helps her through the feeling, continuing to slowly pump his fingers inside her, only stopping for a moment when he felt her thighs squeeze her with the might of a guinness strongman.

as she comes down from the sensation, she attempts to place her hands over her warm face, but he doesn’t let her, taking them off her to truly appreciate her flushed expression.

“good - good, really, really good-” she’s babbling quietly in an attempt to praise his effort, and it makes him laugh, rising up so that he can place a chaste kiss to her lips. she doesn’t allow it to be quick, though, allowing her mouth to indulge in the taste of herself, as opposed to continuing to mindlessly mumble. he groans at the action, not expecting her to be into it. pulling back to let her catch her breath, his lips flit over her neck, feeling her rapid heartbeat under the thin layer of skin, “joel, please - i-” she’s saying something, and it’s causing him to come back up to look at her.

though he can’t interpret it initially, when he feels the lazily roll of her hips against his again, he realizes what he wants, laughing lightly.

his laugh does little to quell her desire - instead, spurring it on, as her hands snake down his torso and towards the elastic of his sweatpants. he lets her hands work them down, pulling out his cock over the waistband of them, and gritting his teeth as her soft hand gently grips him.

“slow - fuck, slow down, there, baby-” she shakes her head adamantly.

“joel, fuck - i need you, now. right now.” she does little to disguise her thoughts, the small space between his cock and his cunt too much for her to think straight.

“’lright, sweetheart, ‘lrigt” he pulls his pants the rest of the way down, not removing her still, but exploratory hand, as, on her palm, rested his cock, her fingers grazing his inner thighs and balls. he props her up again, pulling her legs over his shoulders. though knowing she was definitely wet enough to accommodate him, it doesn’t stop her from spitting into her fingers, coating the tip of him in the makeshift lubricant, before adjusting so that he rested against her.

he tapped the tip of her cock over her clit, if for no reason other than to hear her squeak just one more time, before dragging himself down, and pushing in. she fights her urge to close her eyes at the sensation, wanting to really see him, but the feeling of it was almost too much, and she bit down on her tongue to keep quiet.

“don’t hide y’r sounds fro’me, sweetheart, let’t out, babygirl, let it out.” his accent’s thick in her ear as his hips meet her ass, and the soft order makes her mouth fall open, a low, quiet moan befalling her as she adjusted to the size of him. he practically filled every crevice inside her, the warmth of him enough to make her overheat as she tried not to focus on the increasingly sensitive feeling of his cock just lightly grazing against that one spot inside her.

“joel - move, god, i need you to move.” he doesn’t hesitate, pulling out slowly, the drag of his cock making her breath ragged. then, when he pushes back in, it’s just a bit harsher, owing to her squeaking.

“feel good, baby?” he mumbles it right into her ear as he thrusts in and out of her, his pace teetering between slow and aggressive, as if he were holding back.

“so - so good, joel, fuck, you make me feel so - good-!” she’s cut off when he readjusts and begins hitting another angle inside her, amplifying the feel of him significantly.

“that’s the spot, isn’t it, sweetheart? ya gonna be a good girl and scream for me?” he doesn’t even have to ask her, as her moans become unabashedly loud at the intensity of his new thrusts. the spur him to move just that bit faster, owing to her hands wildly grasping at his arms in an attempt to ground herself against the overwhelming sensation.

it doesn’t take long for that reignited tension in her core to beg for release.

“fuck, joel - i’m gonna cum, can i cum? please let me cum, please?” she’s begging him to keep going just like he is, and the honeyed pleas sound like the sweet music to his ear.

“that’s right, sweetheart, go ahead - cum all over me.” the approval pushes her over the edge, her legs shaking violently as her fingers dig into the muscle of his forearms. he want to slow down so as to not overstimulate her, but the feel of her pulsing walls wills him over the edge as well, pushing into her just a few more times, “whered’ya want me, baby?” he’s not sure if she’s able to answer him, but the lazy, gesturing hands towards her torso seem indication enough, as he pulls out of her, stroking himself to completion and spilling over the heaving skin of chest.

for a minute or two, they both catch their breath, before she feels him detach from her. she can hear his light footsteps into another room, and then the sound of a tap, before he reemerges with a damp towel. she’s sure she raises her hand to take it off him, but he ignores it, instead running the damp cloth over her himself. first, he cleans his own mess off of her chest, before lightly pressing at the flesh of her thighs and cunt, trying very hard not to stimulate her farther. the gentleness of his actions seems very joel miller-esque, she thinks, but not exactly akin to the man he’d been for the past few months.

she takes the towel when he’s done, returning the favor, before she speaks.

“didn’t think we’d do this again.” he winces at the implication of her words, stilling her movements as he pulls her cheeks to look up at him.

“i - i know, and i’m real sorry, sweetheart. ya know that, right?” she cups the hand against her face, smiling softly.

“of course i do. you think you’ll tell me why?” she wasn’t mad - just curious.

“i -” he trails off, before shaking his head, a humorless laugh escaping his lips, “why’d you think, baby? m’too old f’r ya.”

for a moment, she’s not sure she heard him right.

“what?”

“c’mon. you’re this gorgeous young woman - new to the neighborhood and everything. shouldn’t end up with someone like me. people’d talk.” she adjusts so that she’s closer to eye-level with him, taking both his hands.

“i don’t give a shit what other people say, joel - god, all anyone should care about is what i actually want.”

“but-” he goes to disagree, but she cuts him off with a soft kiss to his lips.

“i want you, joel miller. you’re the only person i want - i don’t give a shit about if you’re a little older, or my neighbor - anything like that.” he finally raises his eyes from the floor to look at her. the earnest expression on his face makes his resolve crumble, his contemplative expression morphing into a small smile.

“ya want to spend your nights me, then?” she rolls her eyes.

“and my mornings, afternoons and evenings.” the admission of them as so much more than just the fuck-buddy status that they currently have makes him grip her just a little tighter - a show of his affection, “really, our only problem is telling the girls.”

joel thinks about that upcoming challenge, wincing.

“that’s f’r t’morrow. tonight’s about you, sweetheart.”

#joel miller #joel miller oneshot #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #neighbor!joel #the last of us #the last of us hbo #pre-outbreak!joel #fourth of july II #pedro pascal #lana del rey #you can be the boss

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goddessalthena · 2 months

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UsaMamo Week 2024 - Day 1 - First Glance

It's that time of year again, so let's celebrate our favourite OTP!

(Tentative) Title: A Matter of Timing Summary: Aged up, Friends to lovers UsaMamo Non-Senshi AU told in a series of snapshots. Rating: T (for language) Words: 1055

First Glance

The day is ordinary. Average. Completely and utterly unremarkable in every conceivable way. Until he sees her. That’s the moment when the timeline splits. When his world is suddenly divided into ‘before’ and ‘after’. He doesn’t know it yet, won’t realize it for some time to come, but his life has just changed irrevocably. For the better or for worse, well…that all depends on whom you ask.

***

Day 9821 BU (Before Usagi)/Day 1 AU (After Usagi)

“I know, I know! I’m late, but you would not believe the day I’ve had. The magazine had me do, like, a thousand different poses. I swear, at one point the photographer was right up my asshole. I finally looked at Masami and said, ‘Is this a photo shoot or a fucking colonoscopy?’ Thank God I waxed!”

Minako sweeps up to their table, dumps her gigantic orange designer purse dangerously close to several drinks, and breathes a dramatic sigh. Her indisputably conspicuous arrival earns her a few cursory nods and a handful of waves. As far as entrances go, this is rather tame for Minako, and the table’s occupants have long since grown accustomed to her dramatic flair. It’s not until she snags a dumpling from the nearest plate that she garners any true notice.

Rei looks up with an angry scowl. “Hands off!”

Minako, who has already stuffed the entire dumpling into her mouth, closes her eyes and lets out an obscene moan between chews. “I haven’t eaten in twenty four hours,” she declares, reaching for another dumpling. Rei, who is clearly unsympathetic to her plight, slaps her hand away.

Makoto laughs from a few seats down the table and gestures to a nearby waiter. “Stop that before you lose a hand! You know how Rei is about sharing food.”

Minako looks down at Rei and mutters, “Stingy bitch,” before leaning forward and capturing her lips in a swift but fierce kiss. When she straightens up Rei still looks annoyed but her cheeks are noticeably flushed. Again, this behaviour is par for the course and few take notice. It’s not until Minako stuffs a finger and a thumb in her mouth and blows out a sharp whistle that heads finally turn. Only Ami has the grace to apologize to the waiter who has just arrived, but the woman waves her off. The staff are also used to Minako by now…and Makoto is good friends with the owner.

“Listen up, everyone!” Minako announces, producing a petite blonde out of seemingly nowhere. “This is Usagi! She’s just been dumped by her twat-wad of a boyfriend, and I’ve promised to get her drunk enough to forget he ever existed. Let’s make her feel welcome!”

There’s a chorus of much friendlier greetings for this new, unexpected arrival and as Minako goes around the table introducing everyone, the girl under her arm blushes and smiles and laughs as though she is absolutely delighted to be there. As though she’s completely at ease meeting a group of strangers. As though she doesn’t have a care in the world. Which can’t be the case if what Minako has just said is true. And yet, how can such a brilliant smile, such musical laughter, such sparkling eyes be anything but genuine?

“And this tall drink of water is Chiba Mamoru. Don’t let his looks fool you, he’s a total nerd.”

He’s heard his name, he knows this is his cue to say hello, but as soon as those big blue eyes land on him, Mamoru is struck momentarily dumb. Usagi smiles and appears unfazed by his sudden lapse. Whether she’s oblivious or just being polite is anyone’s guess, but the moment drags on long enough for others to take notice. The instant Minako’s gaze sharpens and her mouth curves in a cunning smirk, Mamoru knows he’s in trouble.

Minako pulls out the only free chair at the table with one arm and ushers Usagi into it with the other. “Mamoru, be a doll and get Usagi a drink while I go hunt down another chair.” She’s gone in a flash of blond hair and a clack of stiletto heels and Mamoru is left alone with the angel seated to his left. Well, not technically alone. There are still five other people there. Or at least there were. He’s not sure anymore.

When Usagi scoots forward in her chair and their knees brush beneath the table Mamoru wonders for a moment if he’s having a stroke. He’s trying to remember how to know for sure—troubling given the fact that he’s a doctor—when Usagi’s nose crinkles in an adorable smile and she extends her hand. “Tsukino Usagi. Photography assistant, recent dumpee, and hopeless romantic. Pleased to meet you, Chiba-san.”

Much to his surprise, Mamoru finds himself able to smile, raise a hand, and string several intelligible words together. “The pleasure is mine, Tsukino-san. Please, call me Mamoru.” He’s not sure what pleases him more: knowing he is not, indeed, having a stroke, or being able to interact with the beautiful woman next to him like a functioning human being. Before he can get too cocksure, he takes her hand and a bolt of lightning jolts up his arm. Metaphorically speaking. He thinks.

Usagi beams and gives his tingling hand an enthusiastic squeeze before letting go. From what Mamoru can tell, she is not likewise affected. He should be relieved. Strangely, he is not. “Only if you call me Usagi,” she replies, flashing a set of brilliant white teeth. The eye tooth on her left side is slightly crooked. He doesn’t know why but he finds that incredibly charming.

Mamoru smiles, much wider than he ever does. So wide his cheeks actually hurt a little. It feels strange but in a good way. “It’s a deal,” he says. “So, Usagi,” her name slips off his tongue like he’s said it a thousand times and he realizes he wants to say it at least a thousand times more, “what’s your poison?” Usagi’s eyes twinkle with delight and he knows he wants to see them do that at least a million times more.

A chair slams down on the floor to Usagi’s left, startling them both. Minako slings an arm around Usagi’s shoulders and flashes Mamoru a saucy wink. “What are we waiting for? Let’s drink!”

***

Wanna read more? Ch. 2

Thanks for reading! ❤️ I'm flying by the seat of my pants this year, so all bets (and betas) are off. 😅

Be sure to follow @usamamoweek for all of this year's content!

Many thanks to our awesome hosts @random-mailbox and @lilliebellfanfics for making this possible. 😘😘

#usamamoweek2024 #sailor moon #usamamo #friends to lovers #will they won't they #AU #usagi x mamoru #usagi tsukino #mamoru chiba #fanfiction #goddessalthena #mywriting

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woonierkiz · 1 year

Text

*. ⋆ WELCOME TO W00NiE CiTY ! FIRST DESTINATION, BOOKSTORE

FIRST STOP ! ヤ MAPLE STREET by mayor jake sim

BURN THE MEMOIR ! smau . . . ( on hold )

PRECIS, Jake Sim skipped his violin lessons to hang out with his friends, and they suggested going to Starbucks. However, he doesn't know how to order a drink at Starbucks. But when he saw this cute barista, he couldn't stop stuttering and making up a weird combination of a latte. When the barista asked for his name, he thought she was making a move. So, he gave his number instead!

GENRE — smau with written chapters, second-hand embarrassment moments, idiots in love.

SECOND STOP ! ✦ CANDY STREET by mayor jungwon yang

VALENTINE BY VALENTINA ! mini smau . . . ( upcoming )

PRECIS, Valentina, the new solo artist of Ador, runs a mini show where she gives a gift to strangers for a gift on Valentine's and accidentally runs to Jungwon, whose dancing her song cupid at the hallway.

GENRE — idol au, smau with written chapters, second-hand embarrassment moments, fluffy fluff, crack, idiots in love.

THIRD STOP ! ♡ CORNELIA STREET by mayor niki nishimura

BEAT THAT ALLEGATIONS ! smau . . . ( ongoing - on hold )

PRECIS, Niki Nishimura finally found his only soulmate, the one who will respect and see him as himself, who you can be yourself, and makes him smile and shines his day whenever they see them. They finally got the courage to be themselves on screen but people find them just friends. They are exhausted from people telling them they are just best friends, They need to beat the best friend allegations.

GENRE — fluff, idol au, verrry slight angst, crack

BUTTERED POPCORN ! mini smau . . . ( upcoming )

PRECIS, Niki Nishimura was watching avatar 2 in the cinema dressed up like a criminal since he was an idol but didn't notice that his idol crush happened to be his seatmate at the cinema and ate his popcorn and thought it was hers. That night he found out who ate his popcorn after seeing the same person trying to eat in the hallway while re-watching avatar 2 across their dorm room.

GENRE — smau with written chapters, fluff & crack

THE SLAP ACCIDENT ! mini smau . . . ( upcoming )

PRECIS, Niki Nishimura was known as the class clown & infamous delinquent but he was more known as the person who secretly like yn the loud introvert of their class, however niki accidently slap her ass & thinks that she was rei, his best friend.

GENRE — smau with written chapters, fluff & crack

( you cant tell how much i love cornelia street so much )

FORTH STOP ! 𓆩♡𓆪 CUPIDS STREET by mayor heeseung lee

LAST, FIRST, SECOND TO MY HEART ! smau . . . ( upcoming )

PRECIS, After being transferred to Decelis academy and trying to change a new lifestyle, however, a rumor started to spread that the rugby player Lee Heeseung was your boyfriend. Your life becomes hell as you become tramped with many obstacles as this rumors wildspread and even reaching you family, the fact that your mother wants to bring Lee Heeseung along for the summer as you become panicking and agree and give her affirmation to bring him—the fact you never talked with Lee Heeseung about these rumors.

GENRE — smau, fake dating, written chapters, slow-burn angst, fluff, bullying

*. ⋆ DiD YOU ENJOY THE RiDE ? SECOND DESTiNATION, SUPERMARKET

FIFTH STOP ! ▽ ANGELS STREET by [redacted]

PRECIS, █████▒▒▒▒▒█████████████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ⋘ ᴛʀʏ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ... ⋙

. . . the bus has run out of gas ! please wait for a while until we proceed our trip !

ria's tablet ! i love interacting with you all, and seeing just little comments made my day. Unfortunetly, i wasn't able to update. I have test coming up, hope you all understand ♡ don't be afraid to like or reblog my post it honestly a boost to see someones work got reblog !! THANK YOI

#@WHO WON? @woonierkiz #new masterlist <3 #enhypen smau #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst

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ubike-official · 6 months

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my dear friend ive been thinking of you talking about having self hatred blinders on with your trip and it really resonated with me like yeah thats exactly what im dealing with rn and trying to pry them off myself but still struggling with it even as im aware of it, i was wondering if u had any tips for moving forward and out of that kind of self hate and trauma fueled horse blinders mindset (aside from yknow. general healing and unpacking it all). no rush or pressure for replying i was just wanting to pick ur brain a little about it ily i hope ur day is going well

Hi Rey, my friend Rey! Thanks so much for being patient with my reply. I wanted to really sit down and give you a good proper answer here so I reviewed the Ancient Texts (my old journal entries). One thing that really helps for me dealing with the trauma self hatred blinders is the feeling that I owe it to myself to be confident. I think of sad little child me and how I know she wanted to be confident and accepted. And when I think of how others made me feel this hatred and that it's not a natural state. That my natural state was happy even if it was short lived, that i deserve to return back to that state.

Now thats easy said but very much not easily done. I still have moments where I realize after the fact i was isolating and falling into bad habits. Like when I was abroad i remember once the guy sitting next to me said hi to me outside of the school gate and was inviting me in to come talk with everyone and i literally ran away and tripped down a flight of stairs where no one saw me, cried, and dragged my bloody knee to a pharmacy to buy a bandaid and no one batted an eye. At that moment i felt like what just happened was proof that I was awful and no one cared about me. But in hindsight that wasn't true. Those people were inviting me in and i ran away. And i wasnt a bad person for that! i just had a lot of trauma and needed some grace and time to process it!

And it took me around 3 months to muster up the courage to try again. And I mustered it a couple of ways. One of my very bad traits that I'm working on is judging others. I remember there was this guy that took the same bus as me, that had such an obnoxious Australian accent and was so Caucasian and had the audacity to just talk to anyone. And I haaaated him. But like, one day it clicked while i was being a hater, this dude legit did not know or care who i was. he had friends and did so many things i wish i could've done. I stopped seeing him but soon a similar guy appeared that was of the same type of person, and one day I talked to him. And it didnt amount to much. But it helped me get over that block. Because if i was gonna spend all that time disliking him, i wanted him to at least know who the hell i was. at least once. Not for external validation, for me. And I feel like sometimes having that awkward, scary conversation can really help.

In terms of processing and healing I really love physical journaling. It doesn't need to be fancy or coherent, but writing it down, especially before bed helps me really process whatever things are weighing me down. I like to get it out right before bed so i can go to bed with a clear mind and not have the 3am lying in bed spiral. And def try to gauge what things you can unpack and resolve with a session otherwise it can leave you worse off.

One thing that helps for me that may not work for you or others given your health situation. I think a casual low intensity amount of drinking with friends or at a bar in a safe space helps. For me being just a little tipsy makes me put my guard down and connect with others and gain confidence from small, low commitment, one off interactions with strangers. This can also be replicated Non alcoholic/substancy in like a cafe, library patio, or community setting. If you're able to find somewhere accessible to you and be a regular and say hi, get some low level interaction. When I came back home from Taiwan I made it a habit to try and say hi to people when i went for walks and just get comfortable doing that. Or I'd make small talk with checkout clerks at the grocery store and juat add a comment in. Like sometimes I'd just rehearse saying something about the weather or the week or idk, anything. And just whip it out of your back pocket. Sometimes it'll land, sometimes it wont.

Hope this is at least somewhat helpful! you've got this, we're in this together^^

#asks #ankhisms

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inkykeiji · 4 years

Text

i can take you there but baby you won’t make it back

character: dabi | todoroki touya

notes: stepcest (kind of—ur parents aren’t married yet) with dabi-as-touya x a very naïve and inexperienced reader, normal!AU (no quirks, dabi also has tattoos over his scarred + fully healed skin), university!reader, implied yakuza!dabi, excessive use of the words niichan and good, praise kink, fingering, face fucking, title credit = save that shit by lil peep lmao uhhhh yeah i hc dabi as a very intelligent and perceptive individual soooo i feel like he’d be a master at reading a person & their emotions and then adapting his manipulation techniques

warnings: 18+, pseudo-incest (stepcest), noncon/dubcon, slight somnophilia, emotional manipulation, toxic relationship, size difference, slight degradation, mentions of drug use

words: 7.1k

part 2.1 | part 2.2

synopsis:

“You want to be good for me, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Of course,” you respond instantly. Later, when you lay awake in your bed, you’ll feel ashamed by your actions, by how readily captivated you were with him, by how easily he was able to manipulate you with those sapphire eyes and that rough voice—

But in that moment, you’ll do anything to pull that little smile from him, anything to hear him tell you you’re good. You just want to be good.

Something dark and primal flashes in those gorgeous eyes as they gaze down at you, a small grin spreading across his face. “Of course,” he repeats softly.

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Your dad’s been dating Rei for a while—nearly a year, now—when things begin to get serious, and he proposes to her.

She accepts, so it’s not exactly a surprise when she suggests you guys move in with her—she’s got more than enough space, she tells you, it’s just her and her son in that big old house—and your dad seems pretty thrilled about it. This was the next step before marriage, after all.

You like Rei well enough, she’s always been nothing but sweet to you, and anyway, your father’s relationship really isn’t any of your business or concern.

It isn’t that you don’t want to move in with her—her house is in a better part of the neighborhood, a standard detached upper-middle class home, and just a short walk from a bus stop that’ll take you directly to university, which you start in a week.

It’s just…You’re a little apprehensive.

You know she has kids. She mentions them in passing every once in a while, but you can’t for the life of you remember their names, or their ages, or how many of them there are. You know they don’t all live with her, that her relationship with her ex-husband is complicated and rocky at best.

But you’re still surprised to hear that only one of them, her eldest, lives with her. She tells you he’s five years older than you are, that he’s a clever, smart boy, going off on a tangent about how disappointed she is that he didn’t go to university, because ‘he would’ve done so well—he could’ve shone so brightly.’ Something about the way she says that, the way her voice sounds almost sad, makes anxiety turn to lead in your stomach. She talks about him as if he’s already a lost cause, but he’s only in his mid-twenties, isn’t he?

You understand the moment you see him. The man standing in front of you as you shift from foot to foot unsurely in the foyer of this unfamiliar house is about as far from what you anticipated as he could possibly be.

He’s tall, skin pale as moonlight, with jet black hair and the most stunning blue eyes you’ve ever seen. But that isn’t what captivates you. It isn’t the lip ring curled around his bottom lip snuggly, and it isn’t the tongue piercing you’re about to find out he’s hiding in his mouth, either.

Every inch of the exposed skin of his arms is covered in intricate, seamlessly flowing tattoos—or, for a moment, you thought it was tattoos, plural. Upon closer inspection, you realize that each arm is actually covered in one giant tattoo, giving a new definition to the term ‘sleeve’. It’s all black ink, not a splash of colour anywhere, depicting an extremely detailed and anatomically correct mechanical arm, complete with what would’ve been joints, ligaments and bones in the form of wires and steel.

The tattoos extend onto the tops of his hands, made to look as if surgical staples are peeling his skin back to reveal the robot beneath. This same tattoo continues up his neck, along his jaw and onto his cheeks, all the way to his bottom lip, spreading across his entire face and disappearing into his hairline and onto his ears. Finally, there’s a small portion of the tattoo underneath his eyes, the surgical staples lining the edges of the face tattoos, too.

It startles you—you’re not necessarily scared, you just…weren’t expecting that. But there’s no denying the rush of breath that involuntarily escapes your lips as your eyes search his face, raking over his body in a brazen way that should make you feel shameful, travelling back up to find him smirking smugly at you, raising an eyebrow as your eyes meet again.

The look in his eyes tells you he knows, knows what you’re thinking about, knows how undeniably attracted you are to him, and scalding heat floods your cheeks.

He chuckles a little, which does nothing but add insult to injury, and sharp anger slices through your chest at the way that you stomach absolutely drops at his gravelly voice. You can’t believe yourself, can’t believe your body is reacting and responding so readily to this man—this stranger.

He introduces himself as Touya, in that rough, deep voice that forces a jolt of electricity to run through your veins. You idly wonder what your name would sound like on his tongue, how it might sound if his voice dropped to a growl, find yourself stuck thinking about this for the rest of the night.

✰ ✰ ✰

To your disappointment, and as much as you are unabashedly interested in him, you don’t interact much with Touya for your first few weeks in the house—in fact, you barely see him at all.

This only piques your curiosity about him more, finding that you’re unable to tear your eyes from him on the rare occasion that you are in a room together. He catches you staring every single time, and he has the audacity to chuckle to himself and shake his head when his gaze meets yours, your eyes quickly darting away and cheeks burning at his laugh.

You begin gathering little tidbits of information about him, purely sourced from interactions you witness in the house, desperately praying for something that’ll give you an opportunity to start a conversation with him.

Your efforts prove fruitless when, almost a month and a half since you moved in, you’ve still only spoken a handful of words to him. You do learn a bit about him through observing, though.

You discover that he’s a smoker, which really doesn’t come as a shock at all. Marlboro’s are his favourite, and he’s always got a pack in his back pocket or rolled up in the short sleeve of his t-shirt. He must have them imported—Marlboro’s are incredibly rare to find all the way in Japan.

Touya must have a lot of things imported.

You find out that every other Thursday, Touya discreetly stuffs an absurdly large wad of cash—all composed of ten-thousand-yen bills—into his mom’s hands, forcing her fingers to curl around it. She fights him on it, every time, but he’s firm and adamant that she take it. It always ends with Rei giving him a small, watery smile, Touya pressing a kiss against the side of her head and murmuring that he loves her.

After you witness this interaction for the first time, you begin to notice that, while the house looks relatively normal on the outside, it is stuffed full of luxury on the inside. Flat-screen TVs each complete with full entertainment systems, state of the art appliances that are somehow up to date with all of the latest trends (including a smart fridge—absolutely ridiculous), custom made furniture, ornate rugs, a housekeeper that drops by every Sunday…

You have no idea what he does for work, but you think you’ve got at least some sort of idea when you catch him one night, just past 2AM, exiting his room and using a thumb to brush excess white powder off his nose. His eyes catch yours, pupils blown and shining in the low light, and he smiles darkly at you, winking once as he walks away.

You don’t ask—no one ever does.

You don’t ask about the crimson splattered on the toe of his boot, or why he sometimes smells metallic, like copper, the strong scent wafting after him and invading the halls as he stalks leisurely toward the bathroom. You don’t ask why he leaves the house at odd hours in the night, and you definitely don’t ask about the soft clinking and clicking you hear through the thin walls every so often while he cleans his gun at 3AM.

You’re not sure if it’s really any of your business, anyway. So you stay quiet, and continue to wait.

The opportunity finally comes one Wednesday in October, two weeks before Halloween, when you’re in the kitchen after school busy fixing yourself an afternoon snack. Touya comes home uncharacteristically early—you rarely see him before 10PM, so his entrance scares you, and you jump a little.

“Sorry,” he murmurs as he passes by behind you, just an inch too close, just enough so you can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

“It’s fine,” you say quietly, shaking your head a little and trying in vain to stop your hands from trembling as you spread peanut butter across a piece of bread.

You can feel his eyes on you, and it makes you nervous, makes your skin crawl in a way you’ve never felt before. He laughs a little at your struggling, leaning against the counter next to you and crossing his arms over his chest.

“You don’t have to be so nervous around me, y’know,” he says with a smirk, eyes glittering at the way your lips part in surprise, your breath stuttering a little. “I’m your niichan after all, aren’t I?”

You hadn’t even considered using the honorific until he himself uses it.

Your hands freeze, hovering over your plate, and you look over at him slowly. “You…Want me to call you that?”

“You can, if you’d like,” he says smoothly, nonchalantly, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. It makes no difference to him, he tells you, but when he finally looks back at you, you think you can see it in his eyes—a sharp, small glimmer of…of something. Something that makes your stomach twist in a way you can’t decide if you like or not.

But this is it, you think, this is your opening to finally begin talking to him.

So you do. And the smirk he gives you the first time you address him by the honorific, voice quivering slightly as you ask him where Rei normally keeps the blender, is nothing short of predatory.

“It’s on the top shelf. It’s too high for you, though,” he says, voice so sickly sweet it almost sounds mocking. “Let niichan get it for you,”

It isn’t, but you let him get it for you anyway.

And he knows—knows he’s got you the moment you gasp at the honorific leaving his lips, trying to hide it behind your hand, nodding quickly and squeaking out a thank you.

It starts after that. He begins playing with you; a sick, perverse game of cat and mouse, hunter and hunted, and you play your part perfectly.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it, if you said it didn’t send wicked sparks of excitement shooting up your spine and an intense fluttering in your stomach.

And it starts slow. It starts with gentle pet names—honey, sweetheart, princess—and fingertips trailing down your arm as he passes you. It starts with a large hand placed on the small of your back, guiding you—out of the house and into his car, out of the kitchen and into the living room, out of the hallway and into his bedroom—and with little pecks on your lips stolen when no one’s watching, quick kisses that leave you feeling exhilarated despite their chastity.

Suddenly, he’s home a hell of a lot more. He’s sitting too close to you on the couch while you curl up with a textbook, his thigh pressed against you and flesh burning hot through his black jeans. He’s joining the family dinner a few times a week, idly hooking and unhooking his ankle with yours beneath the table while smirking at you from across it.

Suddenly, he’s asking you if you need a ride to school, or if you need someone to pick you up. You don’t, you tell him, the bus is just fine, but he insists. It’s what niichans do, he says. He wants to take care of you, he says.

Who are you to deny him that, really?

✰ ✰ ✰

The first time you experience Touya angry is about a month after the inciting incident, when he catches you walking home with a few of your university friends.

He had texted you earlier that day, telling you that he—very regretfully, he said—would be unable to pick you up from school this afternoon because ‘something had come up’.

You didn’t question what it was—you knew he’d lie even if you did. So you accepted it obediently, reassured him that it was fine, that you’d find another way home.

You’re pretty sure if you had told him that you didn’t have any extra change on you for the bus suddenly whatever important thing that had ‘come up’ which so desperately needed his attention wouldn’t be so urgent anymore. But you didn’t want to be a bother, or inconvenience him, so you say nothing.

Two friends decide they’ll accompany you on your walk home, so you aren’t lonely, they claim. Normally, the walk from campus to your house is about thirty minutes, but that day it takes you nearly an hour, wasting time goofing around and walking slowly as you talk idly.

Touya’s already pissed that it’s taken you so long to arrive home, that you’ve ignored all of his extremely considerate texts asking if you’re alright, but when he sees you squished between two boys, giggling as the three of you stumble up your driveway—he’s fucking fuming.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he asks, voice calm and monotonous, leaning casually against the doorframe.

Your head snaps up—you swear he wasn’t there just a second ago—blood running cold.

His stance is relaxed, arms crossed loosely over his chest, lazily raising an eyebrow as your wide eyes meet his. Technically, the only indication that he’s furious is the blazing blue fire in his eyes, but your friends can read the tension in the air surrounding him, shuffling a little closer to you. This minuscule action does not go unnoticed by Touya, sharp jaw clenching once.

“You had niichan worried,”

You’re frozen a few feet away from the porch, unable to find your voice, to move your legs, to breathe at all.

“I didn’t know you had an older brother,”

Your eyes do not leave Touya’s as you speak, the words hoarse. “Oh, we’re—”

“Yeah,” Touya bites, irritation finally bleeding into his voice. “She does,” his eyes float back to yours. “Come here, princess,”

Your body snaps into action, moving automatically before you can even comprehend it, allowing Touya to tuck you into his side the moment you reach him.

Your hands are shaking, but you have no control over them as your fingers curl in his white t-shirt, clinging to him. To your surprise, the arm around your shoulders hugs you closer in response, thumb caressing you.

“Thanks for making sure she got home safely,” he tosses over his shoulder, managing to make the simple sentence sound like an insult, tone bordering on patronizing, while he turns on his heel, marching you both inside.

“I-I’m so sorry,” you’re rushing to say the moment the front door shuts behind you two, Touya’s arm still wrapped firmly around you.

He looks down at you coldly. “Don’t you dare pull shit like that again,” he tells you, eerily calm voice forcing spikes of icy dread up your spine. He pauses for a moment, letting his words sink in as his eyes bore into yours. “You had me worried sick,” he breathes out then, squeezing you again. You’re surprised in the sudden change of tone, feeling your chest swell at the thought of him fretting over you, a small smile gracing your lips.

“I…I did?”

Touya’s eyebrows furrow, as if he’s offended at your questioning, mood morphing in the span of a second. “Of course you fucking did,” he spits like you’re stupid, arm dropping. “Do you ever check your phone?”

“Wh-What?”

Touya rolls his eyes. “Check your phone,” he calls out airily as he begins walking into the kitchen, shaking his head a little, disappointment rolling off him in waves.

Hastily fishing your phone out of your bag, you’re astonished to see eight texts from him and three missed calls. You scroll through the texts quickly, each one making you feel more nauseous than the next. ‘Is everything okay? You should’ve been home by now’; ‘Please answer me, princess, you’re making your niichan nervous’; ‘Where are you? Answer my fucking calls already’. Guilt turns sour in your mouth and you hurry after him.

“I-I really am s-so sorry,” you force the words out, unsure as to why there are suddenly tears stinging your eyes. He isn’t even doing anything—his back is facing you as he nonchalantly begins brewing a pot of coffee.

But the thought of him being upset with you, of losing his approval, sends a sharp pain searing through your chest.

“Are you?” he asks, and although his voice holds no malice in it, it causes your whole body to stutter with a harsh breath.

“Yes,” you whimper out, latching onto his arm and tugging in an attempt to draw his eyes to yours, to see how regretful you are, the remorse written across your face. “I should’ve…That was so careless and inconsiderate of me,”

“It was,” he agrees simply, voice still light, as if he’s discussing something as mundane as the weather. “But you’ll never do it again, right?”

“Right,” you agree readily, breathing out the word before you even realize what you’re agreeing to.

“Tell niichan you’ll never worry him like that again,” he finally looks over at you.

“I-I’ll never worry you like that again, niichan, I pr-promise,”

His eyes hold yours for what feels like eons, before he finally twists his arm out of your grasp, instead wrapping it around you and tugging you against his body. You stay staring up at him, eyes wide and obedient, breath bated as you wait for your next order, so pliant and ready to serve him.

“Good,” he whispers, eyes finally softening, and you feel like you can breathe properly again. His free hand cups your face, thumb running along your lips, then your chin, then your jaw. “You want to be good for me, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Of course,” you respond instantly. Later, you’ll lay awake in your bed, feeling ashamed by your actions, by how readily captivated you were with him, by how easily he was able to manipulate you with those sapphire eyes and that rough voice—

But in that moment, you’ll do anything to pull that little smile from him, anything to hear him tell you you’re good. You just want to be good.

Something dark and primal flashes in those gorgeous eyes as they gaze down at you, a small grin spreading across his face. “Of course,” he repeats softly.

✰ ✰ ✰

He begins to trust you more. You meet his friends, each one terrifying in their own right. Jin is alright, although his brain is fried from drugs, and he talks to and contradicts himself a lot, earning the nickname Twice from Tomura.

Tomura horrifies you to your very core—a tall, lanky man with sunken red eyes and sickly pale skin who looks like he’s one bad day away from death—and Touya tells you very sternly to stay away from him.

A university student not unlike yourself, Keigo is your favourite. Keigo is the most normal, with his wild blonde hair and enticing gold eyes that always look like they’re playfully holding the secrets of the universe just out of your grasp.

Keigo’s brain is always going a hundred miles a minute, although you’d never guess it with his trademark lazy drawl, speaking as if he hasn’t got a care in the world. But he can always keep a conversation going, knows exactly what to say to avoid awkward silences or lulls in the discussion, and you appreciate that. You think he’s so cool—he has so much knowledge about the oddest things, everything and anything, ‘a walking encyclopedia’, Tomura calls it, and it fascinates you to no end.

It’s the speed, Touya tells you one night while you’re laying on the couch, your body on top of his, the pads of his fingers dragging down your back in rhythmic strokes. Speed is Keigo’s drug of choice, you find out. Speed is the reason why Keigo knows as much as he does.

“Sometimes he doesn’t sleep for days,” Touya says. “That’s how he has all the time to memorize everything he knows—though that big overactive brain of his plays a part in it, too,”

The thought inexplicably makes your heart sink in your chest, and you don’t say anything else. If Touya notices your shift in mood, he doesn’t mention it. You idly wonder what Touya’s drug of choice is, but you’re too scared of the answer to ask.

✰ ✰ ✰

It’s only a few nights later when you wake with a violent jolt, breathing laboured as you absentmindedly press your palm to your chest, trying in vain to calm your racing heart.

A nightmare.

You sit in silence for a moment, listening to the sound of your own harsh breaths echoing off the walls and debating what to do next. A minute later, you swing your legs over the side of the bed, wincing when your bare feet touch the cold hardwood, and pad down the hallway.

You try to trick yourself into believing that you aren’t using this purely as an excuse to spend the night with him. It really was so scary, you reason with yourself, it really has made you all shaken up…

Who are you kidding? You didn’t even attempt to go back to sleep.

You’ve been in his room plenty of times now—sitting daintily on his bed as he introduces you to new music, new movies, new books. Stuff that reminds him of you, he says, stuff that he thought you might be interested in. You’re grateful for it; there are so many things you’ve learned in the short time you’ve known him.

That isn’t all, though. There’s no denying the warmth that spreads through your body, that tiny excited flutter in your chest, when he calls your name and interlaces your fingers, leading you toward his room and telling you he’s got something to show you.

Yes, you’ve been in his room plenty of times now. But this is the first time you spend the night in his bed.

He’s still up, soft golden light leaking from under his closed bedroom door. Your hand quivers a little as you lift it to rap your knuckles against the wood. He appears in the doorway a moment later, leaning against the frame in a black t-shirt that looks like it’s a size or two too small for him, riding up to reveal a teasing sliver of milky skin, tips of his hipbones jutting out from the waistband of his plaid pajama pants.

“Princess? What is it?”

You didn’t realize you were staring, and you jump a little at his gravelly voice.

“Oh. I, um—Well, I just…had a nightmare a-and I can’t sleep,”

You can barely look him in the eyes as you say it, your cheeks burning. You both know it’s a lie.

But he plays along.

“Aw, baby,” he coos, drawing you into his arms, into his room, into his bed.

“You’re trembling,” he murmurs as he turns on his side to face you, propping his head up with a hand. “Poor thing. Was it a bad one?”

Your mouth feels like its been stuffed with cotton, rendering you incapable of speech, tongue dry and sluggish. You nod in response, heat seeping into your cheeks again at just how loudly your heart is thumping while you roll onto your side. There’s only a few inches of space between your bodies now, his hot breath fanning across your face as he speaks again.

“Do you want niichan to help you forget about it?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, and you suck your bottom lip into your mouth, eyes searching his. Your thighs squeeze together at the way his voice has dropped an octave, low and husky, familiar heat pooling in the depths of your belly. He waits patiently, lifting a hand to caress your cheek, then runs his fingertips down your bare arm, goosebumps following.

Finally, you nod. You think you see the corners of his lips quirk up into the slightest hint of a smirk, but you blink, and it’s gone.

“Here,” he whispers, hooking an arm around your waist and pulling you against him. Hand cupping your jaw, he tilts your face up and slots his mouth against yours.

You’ve kissed before, of course—in his bed, in yours, on the living room couch, on the kitchen counter with his hips shoved between your thighs—but this…this feels different.

These are kisses with intent, with purpose, with a goal in mind. These are kisses that keep you distracted—slow, soft, messy with saliva—as his hand slips down your body and between your thighs.

Your gasp breaks the kiss, wide eyes blinking up at him then fluttering shut as he brushes a knuckle against your clit. He hushes you, nimble fingers spreading your folds before he drags them up your slit, huffing out a laugh at how wet you already are.

“Were you thinking about something naughty before?” he gasps mockingly, sliding the pads of his fingers back down as he speaks.

His hand withdraws from your shorts and he orders you to lift your hips, tugging the waistband down your thighs. You squirm a little, forcing them further down your legs until you free yourself of them completely, eyes gazing up at him again, awaiting your next command.

Legs part dutifully as his hand travels back down to the apex of your thighs, pushing a finger into your soaking pussy.

It’s slow at first, thrusting leisurely with his middle finger a few times and loosening you up a little before adding his ring finger. Sapphire eyes watch his motions, captivated by how your eager little cunt sucks his fingers in selfishly.

“Look at that, huh?” he breathes, looking down at you. “Such a pretty little pussy you’ve got,”

You open your bleary eyes to peer at yourself, mesmerized by the way his fingers are pumping in and out of you, glistening in the dim light of his bedroom. He curls his fingers and you inhale sharply, hips twitching toward his palm.

“Oh?” he chuckles darkly, knuckles nudging the spot again. “Did niichan find something, baby?”

You don’t know, you’re not sure, you try to tell him, but all you can seem to manage is pathetic little whines while you nod your head.

“Have you ever touched yourself?” he’s asking as the pads of his fingers tap against that spot, your entire body jolting.

“Y-Yes,” you whimper out, a little breathlessly. “But it’s never felt like this,”

“Aw, baby,” he coos, and it’s so condescending. “Then you weren’t doing it right, sweetheart,”

He quickens his pace, chuckles at the way you try to desperately fuck yourself on his fingers at such an awkward angle.

“Poor little thing, can’t even get herself off properly,” he tsks. “You need your niichan to do it for you, don’t you?”

Soft whines spill from your throat as you nod eagerly, your stomach coiling tightly.

“One day,” he breathes, curling his fingers with a vengeance this time, your hips rolling up off the mattress. “When we have the time, I’ll teach you how to make yourself feel so good,”

He’s talking too much. You want to tell him this, tell him to shut the hell up, but every time you try to speak he presses the heel of his palm to your clit and grinds against it, effectively scattering all of your thoughts, soft mewls of niichan the only sound escaping your lips.

Can’t deny his voice is fucking hot though, a form of foreplay all on its own.

And he knows this, can read you like a goddamn book, especially when he’s got his fingers two knuckles deep inside of you. He can feel it, he tells you. You don’t even need to speak; he can feel your thoughts when his voice drops an octave and your cute little hole flutters, when he chuckles and your pussy clenches around his fingers—a slut for his voice, aren’t you?

“Pretty baby, you can’t do anything but nod dumbly, can you? Been fucked stupid by my fingers alone, huh?”

Your head barely moves, lost all control of your body by this point, only able to whimper in response.

“Gonna come all over my fingers, pretty girl?” the knuckle of his thumb begins grazing your clit in quick strokes. “C’mon, make a mess for niichan,”

And it’s pathetic, how quickly your body obeys. Your pussy squeezes once, twice, three times and you’re gushing all over his fingers, juices collecting in his palm, running down his wrist. You’re embarrassed—you’ve never cum that much before, have you?

Breathing still ragged, you nuzzle into his sheets, partially hiding your face from him. Nothing could hide the involuntary grin that forms on your lips, though. Arms snake under your boneless body, tugging a bit.

“Oh no, baby, we aren’t done yet,” Touya’s saying while he hoists you up, letting you lean heavily against him.

Head tilting in confusion, your glazed eyes find his. “Wh-What?”

He looks down at his lap and your gaze follows, a tiny whimper slipping past your lips at the bulge straining against his pants. “Doesn’t niichan deserve a nice reward for helping you forget that scary dream?”

Eyes darting back to his, you nod slowly, whispering out, “Yes. But—But…” But you’re hesitant; you’ve never done anything like this before. Shaking hands reach for the waistband of his pants, beginning to pull them down but freezing when the head of his cock peeks out.

Touya sighs. “Come on, you wanna be a good girl for niichan, don’t you?”

Of course. Of courses you do.

Then he wants you to touch him, he says. He’ll help you; he promises.

“But you gotta get it wet first,”

You ask how, and he laughs at you. “With your tongue, stupid,” he tells you.

He instructs you to kneel on the floor and you comply immediately, trembling legs folding beneath your body as you situate yourself between his knees. He inches forward on the bed a little, shuffling himself to the edge and caging you between his thighs. Bringing his cock close to your mouth, he taps the head against your closed lips.

They part instantly, obediently, his eyes flashing with something sinister as you take the head into your mouth and suck hesitantly, big eyes staring up at him waiting for approval.

He curses, his hips twitching ever so slightly, skin stretched taut over bony knuckles as a hand forms a fist in the sheets. Starting with kitten licks at first, the tip of your tongue barely touches him, tracing veins, then begins to gain more confidence as he groans a little, telling you what to you, that you’re doing good, so good for him.

Watching him through thick lashes, you have the audacity to look bashful as your tongue laves around the shaft, drenching it in saliva. A hand tangles in your hair and yanks, pulling you off his cock when he decides it’s sufficiently wet enough. Long fingers encircle your wrist, bringing your hand to form a fist around him.

“Like this,” he says, jerking your hand up and down.

You’re terrible at it, movements awkward and uncoordinated, but in that moment he doesn’t really care. He’s irritated a little, wondering out loud how anyone can be bad at handjobs while a large hand wraps around yours and forces you to speed up. Bad? Your heart sinks at the small three letter word, a hard lump forming in your throat, looking as though you may start crying.

But he cums quickly after that, ropes of searing hot white painting your cheeks and face. You watch him the entire time, panting a little, lips parted slightly and your tongue darts out to lick them, tasting him.

He laughs at your bitter reaction, and it’s such a patronizing sound.

“Don’t worry,” he says, collecting the cum off your face and forcing his fingers into your mouth. “Someday I’ll stuff your throat full of it.”

✰ ✰ ✰

You can no longer mention needing—no, wanting—anything around him anymore, because within the next few days it’s sitting pretty and perfect on your bed, propped up against your lace trimmed pillows.

He’s so good to you; you should be grateful you have such a generous niichan, one who eats you out and spoils you with gifts. You’re so spoiled.

And he tells you this, in the dead of night when you wake to find him shoving his cock into you, snarling a little at your soft whines of protest.

“Don’t be a brat,” he warns. Just be a good girl and take his cock. He does so much for you, can’t you be good for him?

Yes, yes, you want to be good for him, you want to be the best for him.

By this point you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve woken up in the middle of the night with his head between your thighs, prepping you to take him.

“Stay sleeping, baby,” he’ll tell you, words whispered into your hair as his cockhead nudges against your hole.

As if you could ever stay sleeping when only a few minutes later he’s pounding you into oblivion, large hand clasped over your mouth so tightly his blunt nails are digging into your cheek, so hard that it’s yanking your head back, neck beginning to ache.

He tells you to be quiet, “You don’t want anyone to hear, do you? Then we’d have to stop, and you don’t want that, right, sweetheart?”

You don’t, you whimper. Of course you don’t—you want whatever he wants, you want to be his perfect little baby, you want to be told how good you take his cock, the praise mumbled against your skin in a low, strained voice right before he fills you with cum.

✰ ✰ ✰

He disappears for a few days near the end of December. You have no idea where, Touya answering your curious texts with playful quips at first before he grows tired of it and tells you to stop fucking asking.

But eventually, he returns.

The front door slams shut and your body flinches with a jolt of excitement. Adrenaline spikes your blood when you hear his heavy boots colliding with the hardwood, getting louder, louder, louder…

He passes right by you, not glancing at you at all. Moments later, the sound of water hitting the tiled shower wall echoes down the hallway.

And you wait. Patiently, you wait, like the good little girl you are, not daring to move a muscle. Eventually he re-emerges, hair still damp, a few strands sticking to his neck.

With a groan, he collapses on the couch next to you, flopping his head into your lap and gazing up at you with glazed, blown sapphire eyes.

“You’re high,” you say softly, not accusatory, just an observation. He giggles a little.

“So what if I am?”

“What did you take?”

“Oh,” he gasps mockingly. “Oh no, baby, I can’t tell you that,”

Why? The question is burning on the tip of your tongue, and you can tell that he’s anticipating that to be your next response, but you bite down on your bottom lip, holding it in. You know his answer already, can practically hear his patronizing voice—Because good baby sisters aren’t supposed to know about stuff like this.

“Can I try some?” you ask instead.

All of the mirth fades from his eyes in an instant, and he moves in a flash despite his inebriated state, so quick you can barely tell what’s happening. His large hand wraps around your bicep in a bruising grasp, pulling you towards him as he sits up, his face an inch away from yours.

“Absolutely fucking not,” he spits, cobalt eyes blazing and voice rumbling against your chest. “And if I so much as catch wind that you’re using, have a mere feeling that you’ve tried it—even just once—I’ll slaughter you and the fucker you got it from. Do you understand me?”

Surprised tears spring into your eyes and you nod jerkily, body beginning to tremble as your breath gets caught in your throat. You want to tell him that you didn’t mean it, honest, you promise!; that you were just kidding around, you swear!, but you can’t, voice mangling itself with the hitched little breaths on the back of your tongue.

He growls at your silence, his grip around your arm tightening and you cry out, terrified that he might actually crush the bone with his bare hand.

“Say, yes Touya, I understand,”

“Y-Yes Touya, I understand,” you manage to stutter out, voice returning only at the command of a direct order, tears spilling over and rolling down your cheeks in pairs. His eyes search your face for a moment, his features contorted in fury, before he sneers at you, squeezing your arm once then roughly letting go, shoving you away from him.

You fall backward against the arm of the couch, heart thumping so vigorously you’re sure he can hear it. He groans, throwing his head back and closing his eyes, exasperated.

“Fuck,” he sighs, eyes opening to glare at the ceiling. “You’ve ruined my high,”

You stare at him, breath coming out in uneven huffs, clinging to the couch.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whisper, terrified to move lest you upset him more.

He’s silent for a moment, still staring up, until he lolls his head to the side, glancing at you through the corner of his eye. A small smirk spreads across his face.

“C’mere,” he says, nodding his head a little in indication.

“Wh-What?”

“C’mere,” he repeats. “Come make it up to me,”

Your body’s moving before you’ve given it permission to, crawling into his lap obediently, thighs on either side of his hips. His smirk widens, and you love it—you love how much control he has over you without even trying, you love the way a quiet whimper slips through your lips as his large hands begin kneading your flesh, running up your legs and grabbing your ass.

Lips trail up the column of your neck, and you tilt your head back, a silent plea for more. You can feel the way his lips curl into a grin against your skin, nipping at it a second later.

“So, how you gonna make it up to me? Huh?” he shifts his hips under you, pressing his hard cock into your clothed core. You whine a little, grinding against him.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” you breathe out while sharp teeth mar your collarbone.

“The hell you waiting for? Show me,”

You begin sliding down his body and he pushes on your shoulders, forcing you to your knees between his spread thighs. He watches you through half-lidded eyes, gaping pupils outlined by a thin ring of blue.

Holding his gaze, you lean forward with your pretty little tongue hanging out and begin licking along the straining bulge, tracing it slowly, the denim rough against your sensitive muscle. You relent though, lapping at his clothed cock in slow, long strokes, and his jeans are just thin enough for you to feel him pulse in response.

A giggle bubbles up past your lips, muffled by the denim, already beginning to feel heady as you pull simple reactions from him. Your mouth forms a cute little ‘o’ and you suck on him the best you can through his jeans, drooling all over his lap and soaking through the material.

The hand in your hair tightens into a fist, yanking hard and pulling your mouth away. “Stop fucking teasing,” he warns, a hint of something ominous in his voice.

You obey, because you always obey, tiny fingers working to quickly unbuckle his belt, pop the button, yank down the zipper. He aids you, lifting his hips and allowing you to tug his jeans down his thighs enough for his cock to spring out.

His own hand wraps around the shaft, you pausing mid-action as you reach for it.

“Open,” he demands, your dutiful lips parting immediately, letting him push his cock into the warm, wet cavern.

He sets a brutal, punishing pace from the start, refusing to give you a single moment to adjust. His other hand fists in your hair, forcing you to stay still as he rams his cock down your throat.

Reflexive tears burn your eyes, blurring your vision. You blink quickly to clear them, desperate to watch him, to catalogue all of his micro-expressions and the sound of his voice as he grunts out your name, to burn it into your mind, etch it into your very soul.

Touya’s head falls back against the couch, Adams apple bobbling with his rough whimpers, long neck and sharp collarbone on full display. If your mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, you’d love to lick up his smooth skin, to trace the dips of his collarbone with your tongue and sign your name in brilliant splotches of blue and purple.

You’re gagging around his cock now, starting to feel lightheaded and struggling to inhale enough oxygen. The ache in your jaw is beginning to spread, but you ignore it, stretching your mouth open wider, to take more, to be good for him, to make him proud. It’s worth it for the hoarse, throaty moans you’re pulling from him, to hear your name shuddered out, followed by a breathy, “Fuck,”

He forces hot cum down your throat a moment later, and you choke on it, sputtering around his cock, throat spasming as it tries to force the foreign object out. He won’t let it, though. He holds your head in place, nose pressed against his pubic bone, and you can do nothing but take it, like a good little girl, like he tells you to.

But it’s all worth it. It’s all worth it, to hear his broken whines like that, to have him look down at you and pull your hair and tell you you’re good, so good for him.

And you’re sobbing by the end of it, gasping for air the moment he lets go of you, wheezing violently as your head collapses against his thigh.

“Did I—” you cough, voice raspy from having your throat fucked raw, “—Did I make it up to you, niichan?” you gaze up at him, eyelashes spiky with residual water. You’re the perfect picture of obedience, strands of hair stuck to your face where your salty tears have dried and swollen lips gleaming with saliva as you watch him with glittering eyes, waiting desperately for his praise.

He looks down at you, eyes devious and diabolical, chest heaving a little. “Of course you did,” he tells you, corners of his lips tugging up into a sharp smirk as you melt into him. “You always do, don’t you?”

#todoroki touya x reader #todoroki touya #dabi x reader #dabi smut #touya x reader #dabi may be a scumbag but he loves his momma #tomura baby i’m so sorry #promise u don’t horrify me at all oof #pls come horrify me more #christ if dabi isn’t touya we’re all gonna look like goddamn fools #a buncha clowns #anyway this is my first time posting something like this #n i haven’t written smut in an extremely long time #so pls be nice #actually u should always be nice #so pls be extra nice #no one beta’d this so there’s a good chance i’ll come back to it n revise it or whatever idk i’m just sick of looking at it rn #the ‘he talks too much’ is inspired by ch 271 w hawks where he’s all ‘he’ll keep talking’#dabi shut the fuck up challenge #prone to monologuing this boy is #also sorry abt the crazy sentences with a thousand commas #apparently now i’m oscar wilde w these run on sentences #idk i still kinda like em tho #i like oscar #tw pseudo-incest #tw noncon #tw dubcon #tw emotional manipulation #tw somnophilia #tw drugs

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richincolor · 3 years

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Celebrating Adult Hispanic Literature

Inspired by Zoraida Cordova's adult debut, "Inheritance of Orquidea Divinia" and the start of Hispanic Heritage Month, I thought I would highlight Hispanic authors writing adult literature of all genres that you should be reading (if you haven't already).

The Inheritance of Orquidea Divina by Zoraida Cordova Atria Books

The Montoyas are used to a life without explanations. They know better than to ask why the pantry never seems to run low or empty, or why their matriarch won’t ever leave their home in Four Rivers—even for graduations, weddings, or baptisms. But when Orquídea Divina invites them to her funeral and to collect their inheritance, they hope to learn the secrets that she has held onto so tightly their whole lives. Instead, Orquídea is transformed, leaving them with more questions than answers.

Seven years later, her gifts have manifested in different ways for Marimar, Rey, and Tatinelly’s daughter, Rhiannon, granting them unexpected blessings. But soon, a hidden figure begins to tear through their family tree, picking them off one by one as it seeks to destroy Orquídea’s line. Determined to save what’s left of their family and uncover the truth behind their inheritance, the four descendants travel to Ecuador—to the place where Orquídea buried her secrets and broken promises and never looked back.

Mexican Gothic by by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Del Rey

After receiving a frantic letter from her newly-wed cousin begging for someone to save her from a mysterious doom, Noemí Taboada heads to High Place, a distant house in the Mexican countryside. She’s not sure what she will find—her cousin’s husband, a handsome Englishman, is a stranger, and Noemí knows little about the region.

Noemí is also an unlikely rescuer: She’s a glamorous debutante, and her chic gowns and perfect red lipstick are more suited for cocktail parties than amateur sleuthing. But she’s also tough and smart, with an indomitable will, and she is not afraid: Not of her cousin’s new husband, who is both menacing and alluring; not of his father, the ancient patriarch who seems to be fascinated by Noemí; and not even of the house itself, which begins to invade Noemí’s dreams with visions of blood and doom.

Her only ally in this inhospitable abode is the family’s youngest son. Shy and gentle, he seems to want to help Noemí, but might also be hiding dark knowledge of his family’s past. For there are many secrets behind the walls of High Place. The family’s once colossal wealth and faded mining empire kept them from prying eyes, but as Noemí digs deeper she unearths stories of violence and madness.

And Noemí, mesmerized by the terrifying yet seductive world of High Place, may soon find it impossible to ever leave this enigmatic house behind.

Dominicana by Angie Cruz Flatiron Books

Fifteen-year-old Ana Cancion never dreamed of moving to America, the way the girls she grew up with in the Dominican countryside did. But when Juan Ruiz proposes and promises to take her to New York City, she has to say yes. It doesn’t matter that he is twice her age, that there is no love between them. Their marriage is an opportunity for her entire close-knit family to eventually immigrate. So on New Year’s Day, 1965, Ana leaves behind everything she knows and becomes Ana Ruiz, a wife confined to a cold six-floor walk-up in Washington Heights. Lonely and miserable, Ana hatches a reckless plan to escape. But at the bus terminal, she is stopped by Cesar, Juan’s free-spirited younger brother, who convinces her to stay.

As the Dominican Republic slides into political turmoil, Juan returns to protect his family’s assets, leaving Cesar to take care of Ana. Suddenly, Ana is free to take English lessons at a local church, lie on the beach at Coney Island, see a movie at Radio City Music Hall, go dancing with Cesar, and imagine the possibility of a different kind of life in America. When Juan returns, Ana must decide once again between her heart and her duty to her family.

You Had Me at Hola by Alexis Daria Avon

Leading Ladies do not end up on tabloid covers.

After a messy public breakup, soap opera darling Jasmine Lin Rodriguez finds her face splashed across the tabloids. When she returns to her hometown of New York City to film the starring role in a bilingual romantic comedy for the number one streaming service in the country, Jasmine figures her new “Leading Lady Plan” should be easy enough to follow—until a casting shake-up pairs her with telenovela hunk Ashton Suárez.

Leading Ladies don’t need a man to be happy.

After his last telenovela character was killed off, Ashton is worried his career is dead as well. Joining this new cast as a last-minute addition will give him the chance to show off his acting chops to American audiences and ping the radar of Hollywood casting agents. To make it work, he’ll need to generate smoking-hot on-screen chemistry with Jasmine. Easier said than done, especially when a disastrous first impression smothers the embers of whatever sexual heat they might have had.

Leading Ladies do not rebound with their new costars.

With their careers on the line, Jasmine and Ashton agree to rehearse in private. But rehearsal leads to kissing, and kissing leads to a behind-the-scenes romance worthy of a soap opera. While their on-screen performance improves, the media spotlight on Jasmine soon threatens to destroy her new image and expose Ashton’s most closely guarded secret.

Sabrina & Corina: Stories by Kali Fajardo-Anstine One World

Kali Fajardo-Anstine’s magnetic story collection breathes life into her Latina characters of indigenous ancestry and the land they inhabit. Set against the remarkable backdrop of Denver, Colorado–a place that is as fierce as it is exquisite–these women navigate the land the way they navigate their lives: with caution, grace, and quiet force.

In “Sugar Babies,” ancestry and heritage are hidden inside the earth but tend to rise during land disputes. “Any Further West” follows a sex worker and her daughter as they leave their ancestral home in southern Colorado only to find a foreign and hostile land in California. In “Tomi,” a woman leaves prison and finds herself in a gentrified city that is a shadow of the one she remembers from her childhood. And in the title story, “Sabrina & Corina,” a Denver family falls into a cycle of violence against women, coming together only through ritual.

Sabrina & Corina is a moving narrative of unrelenting feminine power and an exploration of the universal experiences of abandonment, heritage, and an eternal sense of home.

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz Graywolf Press

Postcolonial Love Poem is an anthem of desire against erasure. Natalie Diaz’s brilliant second collection demands that every body carried in its pages—bodies of language, land, rivers, suffering brothers, enemies, and lovers—be touched and held as beloveds. Through these poems, the wounds inflicted by America onto an indigenous people are allowed to bloom pleasure and tenderness: “Let me call my anxiety, desire, then. / Let me call it, a garden.” In this new lyrical landscape, the bodies of indigenous, Latinx, black, and brown women are simultaneously the body politic and the body ecstatic. In claiming this autonomy of desire, language is pushed to its dark edges, the astonishing dunefields and forests where pleasure and love are both grief and joy, violence and sensuality.

Diaz defies the conditions from which she writes, a nation whose creation predicated the diminishment and ultimate erasure of bodies like hers and the people she loves: “I am doing my best to not become a museum / of myself. I am doing my best to breathe in and out. // I am begging: Let me be lonely but not invisible.” Postcolonial Love Poem unravels notions of American goodness and creates something more powerful than hope—a future is built, future being a matrix of the choices we make now, and in these poems, Diaz chooses love.

#weneeddiversebooks #hispanic heritage month

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kyuublu · 3 years

Text

Haunt me

Toji Fushiguro x reader (she/her)

Neighbor AU - angst

note: the bold passages are flashbacks + Megumi is an only child in this one lol

song inspo: How to dissapear - Lana Del Rey

Blue skies and big fields of green; the road had always stayed the same, y/n noticed as she left the bus. Once the young women made her way home, she took in all the familiar sights she hadn’t seen in years. She had missed walking through the familiar streets, despite disliking her home town when she was younger, since it didn’t have anything really interesting for teenagers around her age. There were no clubs, cool stores, really anything that was rebellious or at least didn’t look like it was owned by a 70-year-old man. Everything always stayed the same.

Y/n’s footsteps came to a halt, right before the door of her own home. Subconsciously turning her head to the side, she was suddenly aware of the presence that stood further away. The familiar figure leaned against the railing of his porch, back turned to her as he focused on something in his hands. Toji Fushiguro.

Had he stayed the same too?

For a moment, y/n had thought about greeting him but was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door infront of her.

“Y/n! Why didn’t you knock? Oh, come here-“ The older lady put her arms around her daughter lovingly and pulled them inside.

“I made a bunch of your favorites, but there are going to take a bit more time.” She pointed at the stove as both of them entered the kitchen.

“Where’s dad?”

Her mom rolled her eyes at the thought of her stubborn husband, they apparently had argued about the maintenance of their garden a couple of hours prior. Y/n chuckled at her mothers’ frustration, but went to look for her dad on her own, since her mom seemed too busy with cooking. After greeting him and exchanging a couple of words, the daughter convinced him to let her mow the lawn. “But you better not break it again like the first time!” The man teased playfully, earning an eyeroll from y/n as she ushered him inside.

“Damn it-“

Muttering under her breath, the girl almost kicked the device infront of her in a fit of rage. The lawnmower had suddenly been stuck before she could really even start, and was now only a rattling mess.

“Fuck...” She sighed one more time, putting her hand lazily on her hip and the other over her eyes, shielding her from the sun.

“For a young lady, ya do seem to swear alot.”

Y/n whipped her head towards the strangers’ voice, almost gasping as she realized who the voice had belonged to. He was the husband of the new family that had moved next to their house a few weeks ago. Before that encounter she hadn’t seen him up close, but now his appearance immediately burned itself into her brain. He was handsome, not the kind of handsome that she had seen from popular boys in school or the hollywood actors on tv, but the attraction she had to him felt a thousand times better.

“I- uhm-“ The girl stuttered as she avoided his eyes, only to look back at the problem at hand.

“It’s broken.” She pointed at the lawnmower dumbfounded, smacking herself internally at the way she was behaving like a 7-year-old.

“Let’s see if I can help, shall we?” A confident smile appeared on the mans’ face, making the girl’s knees even weaker, before he approached the device. He had quickly figured out the problem and got rid of the piece that had been stuck inside the lawnmower, but continued talking to y/n casually, throwing in a joke or two.

“I’m Toji by the way, but I’m guessing your dad already told you about us.”

She watched as the dark haired man held his hand out to her. His politeness felt strange from the start, as if he was playing a character in a movie and she couldn’t quite figure out why.

“What was your name again?”

“Y/n.” The girl shakily took his hand, getting even more nervous at the roughness that was contrasting her own.

“I also wanted to ask ya something - my wife has been buggin’ me about it for days now. Are ya any good with kids?”

That day Toji had asked her if she could babysit his 5-year old son, since he had a job that required to be available at any moment and his wife had to take night shifts at the hospital. Y/n agreed to it without any question, since her dad had taken a liking to the family and she wanted to earn some money on the side. She had just graduated in that same year and wasn’t sure as to what her next step should be in life or what her future looked like really. But right now, the man walking away from her seemed like the best distraction from the dull routine she had been used to.

Shortly after y/n finished the rest of the lawn, her mom waved her inside to eat. The dinner had tasted better than ever, y/n thought as she greedily dug into her plate and asked her mom for more. The older lady only chuckled at her antics, appreciating the sentiment behind it though.

“I really wouldn’t have thought you’d go through with it, honestly.” Her father spoke with his usual sarcastic tone as he watched his daughter take another plate full of food.

“With college? Yeah, I guess I understand what you mean. I’ve always been the lazy type.”

Y/n knew her dad well enough not to argue with him about what he believed his daughter was like. He only knew what she had let him see, and three years ago that had been an 18-year-old girl that took a year off to stay at her parents home without any plans or direction. Only she herself knew that lazyness hadn’t been the real issue, it was her fear of growing up and failing. Before they could dig any deeper into the topic, the daughter decided to ask about the one thing that had been stuck in her mind since she had seen Toji on the porch.

“So, how are the Fushiguro’s doing?” She casually picked at the food on her plate.

“I thought I’ve told you on the phone already? About Toji’s wife and kid.” The mother looked at her child in disbelief until she saw the genuine confusion in her eyes and started explaining.

“His wife died almost a year ago. She became very sick all of a sudden and then it just happened so quickly. Toji hasn’t really been the same since.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in shock, she couldn’t comprehend the fact that something did change so drastically around here, and it hat happened to the family she had wished it upon the least.

“W-What about Megumi?”

Ms.L/n eyes locked with her husband’s, both of their heads hanging a bit lower now.

“Toji gave him away for adoption. He didn’t seem to be in the right state of mind to be handling a child on his own after an incident like that.” The daughter only nodded her head slowly at her dads’ words, as she remembered the big pouty cheeks on that little boys’ face three years ago and his mother that had the same big blue eyes.

Since the very first time y/n had visited the Fushiguros’ house, the wife had always been extremely caring and sweet towards her, reassuring her that she’d be a great babysitter (and even mother someday, which always made her cringe a little). Eventhough she wanted to be grateful, she felt a tinge of jealousy, almost resentment towards her. The woman was beautiful in every way posssible and even stood up against her husband plenty of times, never doubting her confidence once - Y/n had been the complete opposite.

Especially confrontation was something she had always struggled with, even feeling bad when she overheard some of the fights that the Fushiguro’s had occasionally.

One night when y/n had been taking care of the little boy again, Toji came home earlier than expected, leaving her a bit taken back at the sudden appearance. Thankfully, Megumi had already been asleep at this point, making it easier for the parent to just arrive home without worrying about the whole putting him to bed routine. He had walked straight pass her, only muttering a short “Hey” before grabbing a beer and sitting down on the couch. The girl recalled the fight before the couple both headed off to work but didn’t expect to have to deal with his mood already.

What was she supposed to say to a man twice her age that was visibly pissed, sitting on the couch that she was supposed to sleep on tonight. She could only stare at the back of his head helplessly, wondering if she should just change into her normal clothes again and leave.

“Are ya gonna stand there all day?”

Y/n’s eyes snapped back to the man, as he streched one of his arms over the back of the couch.

“No, I just thought-“ Stopping herself from ending the sentence, she thought about actually engaging in conversation with him. The girl didn’t have the chance nor the guts to talk to him completely alone yet, since he always kept his ‘nice neighbor facade’ up around other people. Stepping closer to the couch, she could feel herself getting more tense. She knew Toji wasn’t going to give her much attention, since he hadn’t ever given her any signs of actually liking her in any way, but somehow the girl couldn’t overlook the weird tension. Once y/n settled down a bit further away from him, she noticed his eyes had been glued to her since she’d walked over.

“Wasn’t too hard now was it?”

He muttered with a slight smirk, before taking a swig of his drink. Y/n let out a nervous chuckle before leaning back more comfortably.

Just stay cool.

“So, I heard you’ve graduated not too long ago, congratulations.” It was more of a statement than a question but she still answered nonetheless.

“Yeah it’s crazy, actually- I also turned 19 a week ago too. Everything is going by so fast now.” She cringed at herself once she heard the deeple chuckle from the man beside her.

Why would you tell him that? Your age of all things?

“Well, why are ya still stuck here then? Ya should be out there in the world, not in this shithole.” Toji had his eyes back on the bottle as he tapped his finger on the dark colored glass.

“Or is a boyfriend of yours keeping ya here?” Glancing to the side teasingly, he leaned in a bit closer, making the girl’s heartbeat race even more.

“No! I’m j-just...” Y/n shook her head, staring at him with big eyes until she mumbled out

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Raising his eyebrows, he really began acknowledging her presence. The way she acted more shy around him and always seemed to be shaking a bit, making her look like a scared little puppy. Then he noticed her clothes, or rather lack there of. “What? Don’t tell me a pretty girl like you didn’t get chased by the guys at ya school.”

Does he really think I’m pretty?

Y/n almost held her breath once he lowered his eyes down her figure, remembering now that she was only wearing a top, without a bra, and shorts to sleep in, because summer had just started and the temperatures felt like hell at night.

“Not really, I guess I just wasn’t anyone’s type.”

The girl let out a nervous chuckle yet again, her body feeling like it was overheating and her brain was about to explode at any moment. It only worsened once the dark haired man loosened his arm on the couch and bend it towards her face, his hand slowly pulling a piece of hair behind her ears. Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity; She couldn’t get enough of this feeling.

“Too bad.”

Y/n waited for something more, anything to explain what he had meant, but got startled by the sudden ringing in her pocket.

“A-ah uhm, sorry-“

She quickly picked up the phone, only to be bombarded by questions from her father. Eventually she ended the call and turned back to Toji, who still hadn’t looked away from her.

“I have to go. My dad he- he thought that I wasn’t going to babysit tonight and now he’s kind of mad, so...”

The man nodded understandingly until a smirk appeared on his face, as if he had just read her thoughts for a moment.

“I guess ya can’t keep me company then, huh?”

Y/n only shook her head, almost sighing in frustration. Tonight had already felt like a dream, but a way too short one.

Cleaning the dishes had always been a task assigned to y/n since she could remember, but hoped that she could’ve escape tonight. Sadly not though - making her the last one to go to bed. She dragged her feet up the stairs that led to her old bedroom but stopped before falling into the soft pillows. Instinctively the woman looked out her window, only to catch a glimpse of the one across from hers. Before the Fushiguro’s had moved in, it had always bugged her that the neighbors view directly faced her room. Her mom had always warned her daughter to close the curtains as much as possible and change in the bathroom instead, but like most teenagers often do - she didn’t listen, or just wasn’t planning on walking back to the bathroom for every time she had to change her clothes. But y/n did remembered the first time she had changed infront of the window on purpose.

With only a towel draped around her body, the girl quickly peaked at the neighbors house as she stood with her back to the wall. She had panicked at first, seeing the husband leaning against the window frame, a cigarette hanging on the side of his lips. Y/n didn’t know if he had seen her walk in with the towel but she was intrigued by his sight, the way he had just casually leaned forward, as the thick smoke escaped his lips. Without thinking any further she stepped away from the wall and infront of the window, her back turned towards the dark haired man on the other side.

Was he going to notice? Would he even want to see her like this?

Dropping the towel and slowly putting on the underwear that was layed out on her bed, she kept imagining what he might’ve looked like in that moment. Thousands of pictures would pop up in her head until she couldn’t help but want to see for herself. Her head moved on it’s own, as she turned it to the side, only to see that the figure was gone.

Y/n blinked a couple of times, utterly confused on how to feel, should she have wanted this? This was exactly the opposite of thing’s a girl of her age should feel excited about, but she couldn’t deny that the tiny bit inside of her that wanted him to watch, wanted to be desired by him - had been disappointed.

Y/n tossed and turned, never seeming to find any rest from her constant thinking. She couldn’t’ help but feel bad about disappearing from the small town, even though there had never been any reason for her to stay in the first place - there hadn’t been any jobs that would have been interesting to her, no new people to connect to. The deep heavy weighing feeling inside of her told her the opposite though, probably resulting in a restless and never ending night of overthinking.

I have to see him. Sitting up, her buzzing head turned to the side, she considered going with the idea that had popped into her head momentarily.

Y/n let out a huff, putting on the robe that had been draped over the chair in the corner of the room (and took the keys with her, of course) and made her way downstairs carefully, each step creaking slightly under her shaking feet. Fleeting moments of feeling like a teenager again went through her mind; even though she had rarely snuck out of the house back then, the young woman had only wished that those years would’ve been that exciting. Shrugging at the thought, she finally stood infront of the door of her home, opening it slowly. As her hands pushed the wooden surface back, she slipped through and looked to the side, towards the house she hadn’t stepped foot in in 3 years. Suddenly the pace of her heart quickened, not only by the thought of seeing the older man again, but by the figure that was leaving the house at that moment. Y/n squinted until she recognized that it hadn’t been Toji leaving the house. The long black hair immediately made her perk up and lean back, she didn’t want to be noticed by the guy - even though he might’ve been easier to approach than the man sitting in that very house next door.

It had been in the middle of the day that Mrs.Fushiguro called the young woman. Y/n had the spare time of course and agreed to come over, happy to see the little boy and maybe even catch a second to talk with Toji again. She hadn’t seen him often after that night and couldn’t quite place yet what the dark haired man thought of her now. How was she supposed to behave around him? Groaning in frustration the girl began walking towards the house, but as the door opened, the student began slowing down. An unknown man, visibly younger than the parents that lived in the house, suddenly locked eyes with her. Y/n imagined him to be around around his mid-tenties, which made her curious - Toji didn’t ever seem to invite any guests over, so why would he choose to be around a guy that young?

The stranger smiled politely, which she only returned while approaching the porch he had been standing on.

“Don’t tell me Toji has another kid he didn’t tell me about.”

Thrown off by the sudden comment, y/n’s eyes widened as she snapped her head back to the stranger. The mans’ soft laugh made her feel more at ease, ultimately making her laugh too.

“No, I’m just the babysitter slash next door neighbor.”

“I’m Geto Suguru, it’s nice to meet you.”

His smile was smug but sweet, she noted. Before Geto could leave, the girl spoke up once again, the curiosity getting the best of her.

“How do you know the family? Do you work for them too?”

The man turned, giving her his full attention.

“Oh, god no I’d never work for that idiot.” He chuckled yet again, shaking his head in the process. “I am a colleague of Toji. Sometimes I just come around, since he does have a charm that I can’t resist, you know.”

By the looks of it he had only made a joke, but to y/n, that only chuckled in response, the vibe had felt off.

“What do you do exactly? I’m not trying to pry or anything, but Mr.Fushiguro has never really told me about it, so...”

Geto quirked a brow, he had caught a slight glimpse of her in that moment that almost gave her intentions away - but he looked past it, she seemed too young to actually be interested in Toji’s personal life. “We work at a workshop not too far from here, repairing cars and all that. It’s probably not something worth mentioning to be honest.”

The girl infront of him didn’t believe a word. She didn’t have any evidence not to, but the way he talked had been so sugarcoated, that she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of him. “You’re probably right, I don’t know a thing about cars.”

Smiling innocently at the guy, she slowly began turning back to the entrance of the house.

“Well I’ll see you around then.”

Geto only held up a hand smoothly, smiling yet again - which only confirmed what y/n had been thinking this whole time. This man was too much of a flirt, a smooth talker to be around someone like Toji as a normal friend. It only raised the question as to why the father always seemed to avoided talking about his job, and what the hell it had to do with this Geto guy. Y/n shook her head lightly until she was met with the devil himself.

“Right on time as always, mh?”

Toji’s smirk only drew her eyes down his face, making her noticed the scar in the corner of his lips.

“Oh uh- yeah.”

Y/n nodded as he let her inside. She stepped in, thinking that maybe there was more to the man than she originally had thought, a side of him nobody knew about.

It took a long time before a shadow appeared at the foot of the door. To the young adult it had felt like hours until she could finally hear the lock being opened. The girl inside of her was screaming, begging to see him again - as to why she did feel that way still, she didn’t have an answer to. Then the door creaked open just a bit. Y/n could see him peak through for just a second, the dark bags under his eyes were alarming, but to be expected. He must’ve been through alot, things she wouldn’t be able to grasp at her age.

A sigh escaped Fushiguro’s lips as he leaned away from the door, only letting a crack of light fall through, contrasting the dark of the night. Suddenly the door swung open, the brightness of the light illuminating her completely now, as she squinted her eyes to adjust to it. Toji had his back turned to her, trudging towards the living room without a word. She watched as his body disappeared into the room and followed slowly after, unsure of what’s to come.

As y/n stepped in, closing the door after her, she began taking a peak at the rooms that she passed by. They had all been in the same conditions as the day she left, which made her wonder how much of that was really Toji’s doing - he had never been the one to clean the house or cook. It was always one of the things his wife had complained about the most, y/n remembered the bickering everytime the woman left for work. Mrs.Fushiguro had been right about the way her husband had never participated in doing his part, but the girl couldn’t deny that back then she would’ve done anything to be a housewife if that meant she could call the man she had been infatuated with - hers. Y/n often joked about it to her friends at school, but deep down she knew there was an inexplicable feeling she couldn’t get rid of as soon as he left her sight.

The young woman almost gasped once she stood in the doorway of the living room, it contrasting to the rest of the home so much that she almost wanted to laugh. Beer cans were scattered across the floor, half eaten food laying around on the table and in between the rest of all the mess, was Toji, his head hanging low.

Y/n had expected some sort of comment from the dark haired man that was now sitting on the same old couch that she had imprinted into her memories - but he hadn’t uttered a word.

She knew she was the one that had to initiate the conversation, but couldn’t shake off the anxiety that was creeping up. Once her feet were ready to move without shaking, she approached the man, sitting right on the spot next to him that she had been used to back then.

“What are you doing here...”

Toji’s low tone almost made her shiver. His question rather sounding like an accusation, an observation than anything else. It was the same old thing he’d always do, where he didn’t ask for the other person’s sake but rather to emphasize that what they were doing was almost a joke to him, something so obvious that he didn’t need an answer for.

She shouldn’t be here - nobody asked her to come and he was probably the last person to know what to do with her. They weren’t friends, y/n told herself as she looked at his disheveled state, she was only an old memory, coming back to haunt him.

“I just thought-“

The womans’ eyes began watering, but she swore to herself that she didn’t want to be that stuttering mess in front of him ever again. She didn’t want to remind him of that same girl he had met three years ago. Y/n was a grown woman now, and for some reason she felt the need to prove it to him.

“I heard what happened. I don’t know if it makes any difference, but I just wanted to give you my condolences.”

A creak of one of the beer cans made her look up to the man, his face unreadable. Toji scoffed as he watched the can crinkle between his fingers.

“Everyone says the same shit. It was stupid of me to think ya would be any different.”

Y/n watched as he let the empty can drop to the floor, making it painfully obvious how silent it had gotten.

“Did Geto say the same too?”

Toji finally casted her eyes towards her form, almost seeming caught off guard by the question.

“He came to the funeral after everything that happened. Suguru was never somebody I would’ve considered a friend honestly, but there he was, standing next to me in a black suit.”

The dark haired man paused for a moment as his eyes darted to the glass door that led to their garden. A sudden chuckle escaped his lips, without any certain emotion being evident on his face.

“He didn’t once pity me. The guy just padded me on the back and said he’d see me at work again.” His gaze found it’s way to the girl in the robe.

“So?”

She knitted her brows in confusion, unsure of what to say. “What?” He laughed at the quick response, turning away to shake his head.

“I never really understood you, y/n. Even before you left-“

Toji leaned forward, prompting his arms on his thighs as he looked down at his hands.

“You were always looming around but ya never got to the damn point. It was like you were hiding something in that pretty little head of yours.”

Suddenly the young woman felt defensive, finally grasping the fact that she didn’t have to stand back anymore - this was her only chance.

“And you weren’t?”

His head turned, as he looked over his shoulder questioningly. Y/n took the opportunity to go further, staring back at him intently.

“You always acted all polite infront of others, casually waved at the neighbors, talked to my parents with a friendly smile - but once you were in here...”

She scoffed at the memories flooting her thoughts again. The harsh words Toji had thrown at his wife, the way he wouldn’t as much as look in his son’s direction most of the time.

“You were awful, Toji.”

The mans’ eyes grew dark with every word she uttered, but y/n was insistent on not taking it back this time, she needed answers.

“Sure, make me the bad guy all ya want. I’ll let ya have that, but don’t act all innocent on me.”

Slowly the distance between them became smaller, as the man leaned closer to y/n with a devilish grin.

“Do you really think I didn’t notice your little attempts? Ya think my wife would’ve appreciated the way you acted around me?”

The hand that was propped onto his leg was dangerously closer to her thigh, y/n noted as her eyes flickered down nervously. He knew all along - but what did that mean for her? Y/n gulped before speaking up again and meeting his gaze.

“You were already fighting with her about every possible thing you could, but you think that the girl next door would’ve made her break? Really?”

Toji’s stare was cold again, his lips shut close as he almost mumbled to himself in disbelief.

“What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing.” The woman shook her head as the tears slipped down her cheeks. “You didn’t even spare me a glance.”

Her voice broke as she smiled sadly, not knowing how to put into words why she had felt the way she did. Y/n couldn’t quite grasp it herself.

“I didn’t understand why even though you did everything your own way, disrespecting her multiple times and seemingly not even giving a fuck about your own family - you still never even dared to look at me in any other way than the fucking babysitter.”

A sniffle broke through the silence of the house, Toji still not wavering as he watched the woman break right infront of him.

“I know that you shouldn’t have and that it was selfish of me, childish to think you could ever see me as more, but I was so frustrated. I just wanted to be desired by you, and the little amount of attention you did give me just made it hard not to be addicted to you.”

In that moment, y/n felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t explain everything perfectly but she felt as if maybe this was the only way she could’ve made him understand, even just a little.

The girl back then already knew that her way of thinking had been selfish, and even now she couldn’t look past at how toxic it was to think that way about someone with a family, someone much older than her - but y/n still never stopped thinking about him.

Y/n closed her eyes, sparing herself the embarrassment she might’ve felt by looking at Toji’s reaction but suddenly felt his body moving beside hers. She opened her eyes as the man took her chin in his hand and looked down her lips longingly. Just for a moment, y/n thought that maybe she had been wrong all along - Maybe Toji had catched a glimpse of her when he smoked out of the bedroom window, maybe he too had wondered what it would be like to lay next to her and hold her for just one night.

Then his lips crashed into hers, softly but with a lingering determination. Before y/n could even react properly, Toji had moved back again. His eyes staying on the spot he had kissed her, tracing his thumb over it lightly.

“I can’t give you what you want. I never could.”

No. No. No.

Y/n thought back to when she had arrived today, when she claimed that everything had stayed the same. “Why?”

She pleaded with glassy eyes, her e/c ones boring into his.

“Because you don’t belong at a place like this - and I do.”

Even as the young woman sat there, watching him move away and stand back up, she didn’t feel any hatred towards him. He never did anything bad to her. He never treated her the way he had treated his wife. He never once took advantage of the situation.

But both of them knew he wasn’t a good person, and maybe letting each other go was the only way to avoid causing any more damage.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/n didn’t know what exactly she had apologized for; if it had been for leaving the town out of the blue, or for crashing into his home without any warning. Maybe even for something that only Toji could know, like what circumstances he had been in to become this way - but she did feel sorry. Toji’s steps come to a halt at the doorway, turning his head, only to give her one last smile.

He had left the room without a response.

Y/n knew there hadn’t been anything left to say - this was their last chapter and she was finally ready to turn the page.

————

My first jjk story for now, but I’ll probably write more for other characters from the show soon. Also please feel free to correct me on anything grammar related since english isn’t my first language & i’m only trying to get better. ^^

#jjk imagines #jjk angst #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji imagine #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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born-to-lose · 4 years

Text

Works in Progress

Here's the WIP list you guys wanted! The key is the same as on my masterlists (♡ = fluff, ♤ = angst, ☆ = smut, ♧ = platonic).

Blind Channel

Joel Hokka

Phone sex ☆ -> CONCEPT

Shower sex ☆ -> CONCEPT

Slow burn ♤♡

Sleeping at his place ♡ -> CONCEPT

Sub!Joel ☆

Jealous sex ☆

Watching you masturbate ☆ -> IN PROGRESS

Plus size!reader ♡

Telling your date that you're dating because he's in love with you ♡

Defending you against your ex ♤

Mirror sex ☆

Losing your virginity to him ☆♡

Being oblivious of you liking him ☆

Meeting each other's parents ♡

Road trip ♡

Valentine's Day fic ♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Being snowed in together ☆♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Niko Vilhelm

Fic based on "Coraline" by Måneskin ♤

Blowing him under a restaurant table ☆

Vampire!Niko ☆ -> CONCEPT

Sub!Niko ☆

Dom!Niko ☆ -> CONCEPT

Taking a bubble bath ♡☆ -> IN PROGRESS

Professor!Niko ☆ -> IN PROGRESS

Flirting with him at work ☆

Taking care of him when he's feeling bad ♤♡ -> CONCEPT

Meeting your parents ♡

Olli Matela

Slow burn ♤♡

Drunk sex ☆♡

Unspecified smut ☆

Morning sex ☆ -> CONCEPT

One night stand ☆♡

Baking and moving in together ♡

Fic based on "Closer As Strangers" and "Want You Back" by 5 Seconds of Summer ♤ -> CONCEPT

Joonas Porko

Sub!Joonas ☆ -> CONCEPT

Transmasc!reader ♡

Fic based on "Strawberries & Cigarettes" by Troye Sivan ♤♡ -> CONCEPT

Public sex ☆

Semi-public sex ☆

Plus size!reader ☆

Gender neutral!reader smut ☆

Unspecified smut ☆

Eating you out ☆

Meeting his family and he's teasing you all the time ☆

Tommi Lalli

Jealous sex ☆

Semi-public sex ☆ -> IN PROGRESS

Unspecified smut ☆

Friends to lovers ☆

Plus size!reader ☆♡

Unspecified angst ♤

Post-show smut ☆

Taking care of you when you're sick ♡

Aleksi Kaunisvesi

Sub!Aleksi ☆ -> CONCEPT

Meeting him at an EDM festival without knowing he's one of the headliners ♡ -> CONCEPT

Fic based on "Carmen" by Lana Del Rey ♤

Fluffy smut ♡☆

Plus size!reader ♡

Telling your date that you're dating because he's in love with you ♡

Leaving his girlfriend for you ♤

Breakup angst ♤

Buying him flowers ♡ -> CONCEPT

Whole band

Coming out as nonbinary to BC ♡

Corruption kink with one of the guys ☆

50 wordless ways to say "I love you" ♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Santa Cruz

Archie Cruz

Hate sex ☆

Johnny Parkkonen

Domestic fluff ♡

Enemies to lovers

Taking a break from dating ♤

Worrying about your age gap ♤♡

Spending time in the studio while he's working ♡

Adopting a puppy ♡

Middy Toivonen

Possessive smut ☆

Taz Fagerström

Having a crush on your fellow teacher Taz ♡

Cuddling when the power goes out ♡ -> CONCEPT

Drum lesson ☆

Unspecified smut ☆

Lost Society

Samy Elbanna

Taking care of him when he's feeling bad ♤♡

Johnny setting you up with Samy ♡

Robin Packalen

Unspecified smut ☆

Quality time ♡

Being goofy ♡

Romantic evening ♡

Crashdïet

Gabriel Keyes

Backstage smut ☆ -> COMING SOON

Another smut ☆ -> CONCEPT

Shiraz Lane

Hannes Kett

Getting back together after breaking up ♤♡

Ana Willman

Unspecified fic

Miki Kalske

Unspecified fluff ♡

Guns N' Roses

Axl Rose

Breakup angst ♤

Spending a day together ☆♡

Helping him calm down ♤♡

Doing a striptease for you ☆

Being married and expecting a baby ♡

Dating famous!reader ♡

Depressed!reader ♤♡

Slash

Male stripper!Slash ☆ -> CONCEPT

Pampering Slash because he's constantly working ♡

Comforting you when you meet the band for the first time ♡

Stopping the show for you ♤♡

Axl tricks you into taking Addyi, but Slash helps you out ☆

Fic based on Talk Dirty to Me by Poison ☆

Duff McKagan

Honorary uncles Axl, Slash, Izzy and Steven are guests at you and Duff's daughter's wedding ♡ -> CONCEPT

Old!Duff x young!reader smut ☆

Old!Duff x young!reader fluff ♡

Tour bus smut ☆

Getting cockblocked after not seeing each other for a long time ☆

Izzy Stradlin

He's in a coma and you regret never telling him how you felt about him ♤

Record store AU ♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Romantic and intense smut ☆♡

Romantic first time ☆♡ -> CONCEPT

You dream about Izzy naked and can't stop thinking about it ☆

Izzy acts cold around you until he blurts out he wants to fuck you ♤☆

Unspecified angst to fluff ♤♡

Proposing to you on a ferris wheel ♡

Steven Adler

Unspecified fluff and smut ♡☆

Dom!Steven ☆

Being Axl's best friend and dating Steven ♡

Hanoi Rocks

Sami Yaffa

Having a crush on you, a famous musician ♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Valentine's Day smut ☆♡

Andy McCoy

Unspecified smut ☆

Razzle Dingley

Unspecified fluff ♡

Unspecified smut ☆

Michael Monroe

Model AU

Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi

He makes a bet that he can make you (plus size!reader) fall for him, but eventually falls in love with you for real ♤♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Dating famous!reader ♡

Old!Jon car sex ☆

Richie Sambora

Busker AU ♡ -> IN PROGRESS

You're a virgin but want to be his groupie ☆♡ -> IN PROGRESS

Fic based on his song "One Last Goodbye" ♤ -> CONCEPT

Domestic fluff ♡ -> CONCEPT

Mötley Crüe

Nikki Sixx

Joining him on tour with your daughter ♡

Hate sex ☆

Stiv Bators

Unspecified smut ☆

Johnny Thunders

Unspecified angst ♤

Multiple pairings

Joel Hokka x reader x Johnny Parkkonen domestic fluff ♡

Threesome with Tommi Lalli and Olli Matela ☆

Threesome with Aleksi Kaunisvesi and Niko Vilhelm ☆

Archie Cruz being your consolation when Joel Hokka cheats on you ♤☆ -> CONCEPT

Threesome with Middy Toivonen and Johnny Parkkonen ☆

Threesome with Archie Cruz and Johnny Parkkonen ☆

Threesome with Johnny Parkkonen and Taz Fagerström ☆

Izzy Stradlin and Slash walk in on you masturbating ☆

Threesome with Slash and Duff McKagan ☆

Threesome with Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora ☆

Blurbs

Nasty Suicide smut ☆ -> IN PROGRESS

Taking a shower with Nikki Sixx ♡ -> CONCEPT

Vince Neil angst ♤

Headcanons

Dating BC would include ♡

First time with BC ☆

Dating Richie Sambora would include ♡☆

#mel writes #works in progress

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glorious-spoon · 4 years

Text

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I was tagged by the lovely @lynne-monstr!

Also, a bunch of these are from a kinkmeme and thus very explicit, so uh. Mind the ratings?

1. we were the pretenders [IT - Movies] He’s kind of expecting Richie to be passed out by the time he gets out of the bathroom.

2. shake this world off my shoulders [IT - Movies] Eddie tends to have most of his meltdowns over email.

3. you’ve got the antidote for me [IT - Movies] Richie’s fingers slid under the smooth coil of rope, warm against Eddie’s skin as he tested the give.

4. Memories of a Stolen Place [IT - Book & Movies] Eddie has been shooting him increasingly weird looks throughout dinner.

5. Feedback [IT - Movies] The first time it happened was an accident.

6. Some Nights [IT - Movies] “I think that guy upstairs that you have a crush on just got dumped,” Eddie says over his shoulder when Mike lets himself in through the kitchen door.

7. Flip [IT - Movies] Eddie already knows he’s not going to last.

8. User Satisfaction [IT - Movies] Eddie sits back in his chair, glancing behind him as if a camera crew is going to come bursting in at any minute.

9. Phone Support [IT - Movies] Richie has to hand it to him: Eddie doesn’t crack once.

10. Midnight Hour [IT - Movies] Eddie isn’t quite sure what wakes him.

11. Exclusive [IT - Movies] When Richie picks up the phone, Eddie is already talking, which is pretty normal.

12. Relief Rider [Agent Carter] Peggy was halfway through her second bitter mug of klah for the day when Dooley stuck his head into the dining hall and barked, “Carter!”

13. Rainy Days [Leverage] Some wounds never heal quite right, and some scars never fade.

14. when everything feels like the movies [IT - Movies] When the Uber pulls up outside of Richie's place, Eddie does a double-take, then checks the address on his phone even though he's had it memorized for months.

15. At the Edge of the World [The Witcher - TV] Heartsick and tired, Jaskier follows his witcher down the mountain.

16. give that twist of grace [IT - Movies] It all goes to hell even faster than Eddie expected, which has to be some kind of record.

17. Mess Hall [Star Wars Sequel Trilogy] Finn is pretty sure that it bothers Poe more than it bothers either him or Rey.

18. the sound of your feet upon the ground [IT - Book & Movies] Richie is expecting one of them to corner him at the Town House before they all head out for the airport—or the bus station, in Mike’s case, because he’s the kind terminally fucked in the head nerd who thinks that a ten-hour road trip via Greyhound sounds like a stellar start to a new life—but he was banking on it being Beverly.

19. a few red lights, a few old beds [Stranger Things] “If you don’t stop flailing around and let me sleep, I’m gonna fucking smother you,” Billy said from the other side of the bed.

20. First Blood [The Old Guard] Andy’s smile glints sharp as she tosses the staff lightly from one hand to another.

I’m not sure if any patterns really stand out - I tend to start in medias res, but that’s just because I’m too impatient to start slowly. Um... I usually start with character observations instead of setting? I feel like that’s pretty common for fic. And given how many of these are PWP’s, I’m a little surprised that none of the opening lines are explicitly pornographic, so there’s that.

I’m not sure who’s already done this or who’s been tagged, so if you haven’t and you want to, consider yourself tagged!

#my fic #fic memes #long post

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kylorensdestroyingthings · 4 years

Text

Sunshine | Reylo

ao3 link

a/n: I really love AU reylo sue me okay? requests are open!!

warnings: fluff, BAND AU, Soulmate AU

Rey sat in the middle of her physics lecture, listening to her professor drone on and on about a topic she'd learned in high school. Beside her, Rose was scribbling words onto her arm. After each word she'd wait a moment until more appeared on her opposite arm. It was her soulmate. Rey rolled her eyes at the girl as she giggled silently at something Finn had said. They'd been writing each other since they first turned 18. Rose and Finn were madly in love and it made Rey want to barf, just the thought of it made her gag. Sure she was happy that her best friend was in love, but the thought of writing endless love notes on her body never appealed to her.

Typically, when people turned 18 the first thing they did was write on their skin- to see if they'd get a response. Just about everyone had a soulmate, but there were the few rare occasions that someone was born without their other half designated by the stars. Rey never wrote on her skin because everyone left her. She didn't want to be reliant on someone's handwriting. She wanted to be her. Luckily, she never got some type of declaration of love and she was fine with that. Nobody could leave her if they didn't reach out. That was her philosophy in life.

She'd always been very careful not to write anything on her skin, for fear of a response. Anytime she accidentally got marker on her hands called for an immediate trip to the bathroom to scrub the ink from her skin. As soon as the lecture ended, Rose and Rey walked to the local coffee shop on campus, their daily routine in order to study. Rose claimed them a spot in a booth away from the door while Rey went to stand in line to order their coffee and tea.

___

Kylo Ren was about to lose his mind, or commit a felony. It was only the second week of the First Order tour for his band Knights of Ren, and he was contemplating if it would be worth looking for another bassist if Hux didn't just shut the fuck up. Seriously, the pale red head was way too loud on their cramped tour bus. Phasma gave him a glare before shaking her head. "It's not worth it." She had told him. "It might be if it gets us some peace and quiet." He grumbled throwing one of Hux's own drumsticks at his head. The red head grumbled. "I fear for whoever has you as their soulmate." Hux scoffed rubbing the back of his head tenderly. "And I mourn for Phasma, considering her's will be dead in a matter of seconds." Kylo snapped angrily. Hux knew soulmate's where a tough topic with Kylo, yet he brought them up at every single god damn opportunity he had.

Kylo didn't mind not having a soulmate. Well, he didn't know if he did, they never reached out and he had no desire to himself. He just tended to assume that he didn't have one. His parents were soulmates, but they seemed to be pretty bad parents. His nights as a child were spent listening to his parents fight thinking he couldn't hear them. Maybe they were in love before him, that was a good bet but growing up they seemed to hate each other.

"Ha, yeah right Ren." Hux said throwing a marker at Kylo. Catching it, he looked around for a piece of paper. Once he couldn't find it he decided his skin worked best, somewhat forgetting that it wouldn't just appear on his own. "Yeah, look it's on my to do list." Kylo said showing his wrist.

To Do

1. Murder Hux

___

Rey returned with her tea and Rose's coffee. She handed the cup to Rose whose eyes suddenly widened.

"Uh Rey, have you talked to your soulmate lately?" Rose asked cautiously, knowing the subject was touchy for the young adult.

"Jesus Rose, you know I've never spoken to them in my life and have no desire to." Rey said with a scoff sitting down in the booth directly parallel to her. "Well, um you might wanna look at your wrist?" Rose squeaked and Rey's eyes snapped to her wrist where a simple to do list was written out.

1. Murder Hux

"Oh my god." Rey said almost spitting her tea out. "I didn't write that"

"Yeah no shit! What kind of name is Hux!" Rose almost yelled. "You gotta write back man."

"Hand me a marker." Rey said shocking herself. All of this defiance of not writing her soulmate and for what? To give that up the moment they wrote her? Rose quickly scrambled for the pen she used to write Finn all the time. Once in her hands, Rey wrote out a simple question. "God, I hope they're not a psychopath."

Does this mean I'm an accessory to murder?

Rey waited a moment, her heart rate had accelerated. She'd never done this before. It was a foreign feeling like no other. Talking to her soulmate. The thought even felt weird, nonetheless when the words appeared on her skin this time, she felt a tingle. Maybe it was because she was consciously focusing on the words, who knows.

So you do exist came the mysterious reply. Rey laughed rolling her eyes as she scribbled on her arm again. Maybe she could understand the appeal to it now.

You never answered my question. Rey replied, dodging how her soulmate knew of her negligence to reach out. But technically the blame could go two ways.

No, I'm just threatening my Bandmate. He's annoying.

Rey let out a hearty laugh, as if that made sense. Rose watched on in awe, still completely shocked at what was happening.

___

Kylo was surprised when a response showed up, he'd completely forgot about the chances that someone out there was made specifically for him. He felt like he didn't deserve a soulmate. The fates decided otherwise. Maybe he was worthy of someone.

You're in a band? They asked and he felt the tips of his ears growing red. What if this person was an obsessed super fan? He felt narcissistic even thinking that, but it wasn't rare that people drew the same words on their arms thinking he'd be stupid enough to believe them. He hesitated answering, almost scared it would be someone who knew him.

We're actually on tour currently he wrote. Plenty of bands were on tour, surely whoever they were wouldn't single his out.

Anything I might know? The words appeared on his skin. Surely whoever it was had to know who they were. They'd been on every radio station, youtube interview, and all over social media. They blew up pretty much overnight, and went from playing in small venues barely selling tickets to sold out concerts at arena's.

It's an Emo/Alternative band, nothing too special. His arm was covered in writing at this point, he was receiving strange glances from Phasma who, thankfully had managed to keep Hux quiet.

My roommate is super into that stuff, always dragging me to shows with her whenever they come to town.

"Let's go pretty boy, rehearsal in 10." Hux said calling to him. He hadn't even realized when the bus stopped moving.

"Be right there." Kylo said looking back down at his arm. Hux only scoffed and walked away from the scene, as if he hadn't been this enamored the first time him and Phasma made contact in high school.

Sorry to cut this short, but I have rehearsal he wrote apologetically. He genuinely did want to stay here and talk to the stranger all night if he could. And I have a show tonight

Oh no worries, I have an exam to study for. Break a leg :) For the first time in ages, a genuine smile crossed Kylo's face. That was a rare occurrence, and a complete stranger managed to make it happen.

Thanks :)

___ The two chatted over the next two months, growing closer. He told her about concerts, groupie's, and of course Hux and his never ending mission of annoying Kylo. She told him about her exams, her classes, how much she worked because she was stressed about money. He always offered to help her, but every time she declined, telling him that she needed to work for it herself.

He admired her for that, but let her know that if she ever needed help, he'd find a way. She still didn't know the name of his band, and he didn't mind that. She knew him as Ben. Something to differ her from the rest of crazy fans. As he was thinking about her, he felt the familiar tingle on his skin.

Today's been absolutely horrible. He frowned at that. Every once and while, she had bad days but his were more common. Knowing she felt bad made him want to destroy whoever made her feel that way.

What happened sunshine? He asked her awaiting the response. Slowly each word showed up, and when the ink smudged almost like someone was wiping it away in certain places he could tell she was crying, it smeared the ink.

I went to turn in my paper, only my computer crashed and i lost everything so I wrote a horrible paper just to meet the deadline, and then someone stole my wallet at the coffee shop so I have to get a new card and then a bird pooped on my backpack, and it's just not a great day.

Hey don't cry sunshine. He wrote the words down quickly, his heart physically aching at the thought of her crying. Kylo wanted to hold her and never let go. Unfortunately, being soulmates didn't mean you could find one another physically quickly. Another thing was that any attempt at getting a phone number or basically anything other than a first name was off limits. It just meant, there was someone out there made especially for you. Everything is going to be okay, you're strong, your paper is amazing, and you can wash your backpack.

I wish you were here love Kylo's heart fluttered at the words.

Me too, sunshine He wanted more than anything to be there. To finally know what the girl he loved looked like. To hold her in his arms, and keep her to himself. Enough about the bad, what's good that's happening soon for you?

They did this a lot when one of them had a bad day. It tended to help and get their minds off of whatever was feeling wrong to them. Typically, Rey was always the happy one who was making Kylo feel better.

Rose is dragging me to a concert this weekend that she won tickets for, I don't know who but they're always fun. He smiled at that. For some reason, Rey was always letting her roommate drag her everywhere but she always had fun doing whatever Rose's plan was for the week. He was thankful for the girl because from what he could tell, Rose always looked after Rey well.

That will be fun, try not to fall for any of the band members ;) He laughed at his own joke, startling Phasma.

"Talking to your girl again?" She asked looking up from her book. "Yeah," Kylo said smiling. "I want to write a new song, for our next show."

"About her?" Phasma said cocking a blonde eyebrow. "Fan's will certainly love that."

"They all know they never had a chance anyways." Kylo said rolling his eyes.

"Tell them that." She spoke flipping a page in her book. "But I like the idea."

___

That Saturday night, Rey stood in front of her mirror looking over her outfit with uncertainty. The green overall dress and black shirt she wore under it were out of her comfort zone, but she knew she didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb if she wore something else. She borrowed some of Rose's boots that were always for these concerts they went to. They were hard would prevent her feet from getting smashed when they were at the barricade.

She tucked a pen into her pocket, just in case, she had told herself. That was a lie, she always wanted to talk to Ben. Suddenly she felt the familiar tingle, looking down at her wrists Ben's handwriting appeared.

Be safe tonight sunshine <3.

Always am love <3.

___

The crowd for Knights of Ren was dense. Their first album had been what got them on to the top 100 charts. Rose made Rey listen to them on the ride over, and Rey completely understood why. The lead singers voice was one of an absolute angel. The bassist was pretty amazing too. Somehow, they'd manage to get tickets about 3 rows away from the right side of the stage.

Rose squealed from beside her. "Dude this is going to be so amazing!"

Suddenly the lights went down, suggesting the concert was about to begin. Kylo Ren was absolutely gorgeous and she could tell he loved being on stage. After playing through the entire album Kylo spoke into the mic for a little bit.

"Okay, so I actually have a surprise for you guys here." He spoke, his deep voice traveling through the arena. "We're playing a new song, one I wrote very recently, for someone very special. This is Sunshine."

He nodded at Phasma who began to strum the first couple cords. Rey listened to the song carefully. It was really beautiful, and one of the best songs she'd ever heard of.

The words appeared on my skin

you said baby i've had a bad day

and I told you

Sunshine don't cry

I'm only a couple thousand miles away,

and love, you wish I was there

but I'm right here in your heart

always there to chase the rain away.

Sunshine, don't cry.

Rey's eyes widened. Remembering the conversation she had with Ben meerly days ago. One of the first things he told her was that he was in an alternative band. She scrambled for her pen in her pocket looking at Kylo with certainty before writing on her arm.

I'm right here

____

As he finished the first chorus, he felt the tingle. Subtly, he looked down towards his wrist where the words appeared. Frantically, he looked up searching the crowd, his leather gloves with the fingers cut off clutching the mic tightly.

____

She noticed his eyes searching the crowd as soon as he looked at his wrist. The same one she had wrote on. His eyes screamed one question Where? Quickly, she wrote down her location within the crowd.

My right, third row.

Despite there being thousands of people in that arena and the crying girls throughout the entire row her and Rose were in, she locked eyes with Kylo, well to her he was Ben, immediately. His eyes widened, almost in disbelief before he hopped off the stage, walking straight towards the barricade. Rey found herself pushing through the crowd of screaming girls to reach for him, Rose following hesitantly behind her. When they finally were face to face, he let the last line of the song fade away before speaking quietly, away from the mic.

"Sunshine" He spoke, making her heart burst into flames. For the past two months, she'd been imagining his voice saying his name for her. Finally, here they were. Staring at each other face-to-face in a crowd of thousands of people.

"Ben." She whispered and he put a large hand to her face cradling her cheek.

"It's you."

"Yeah, it's me love." With those words she kissed him deeply and lovingly. His arm came to the small of her back, holding her against the barricade as close as he could get her. Her hands held the back of his neck softly, but hungrily. He was finally in her arms and she never wanted to let go. Suddenly, the sound of fans screaming excitedly broke them from each others trance.

He turned to Rose quickly. "I owe you so much for bringing her here. Anything you want."

"Name your firstborn after me." Rose said in her typical fashion but also getting over the shock of what was happening.

"Sure, anything." Ben said before looking back to the crowd awaiting him. "I'm bringing you backstage, wait for me to finish?"

"Of course." Rey spoke grabbing his hand gently. Ben nodded towards security and then towards Rey before lifting her over the barricade and pressing his lips firmly against hers once more.

"I'll see you soon, Sunshine."

#reylo #reylo fic #reylo au #ben solo #kylo ren #rey #star wars fic #star wars fanfic #reylo fanfic #soulmate au #band au

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flourchildwrites · 5 years

Note

Prompt: TodoMomo; Todoroki performing CPR on Momo to restart her heart

Witch, Please! Fictober 2019 (19/31)

A multi-fandom Fictober prompt compilation. Your wish is my command, but be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.

For Anonymous

Prompt: Heart-Stopping (or something like that, lol)

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Relationship/Pairing: Todoroki Shouto/Yaoyorozu Momo

Genre: Fluff and Angst with a Happy Ending

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word Count: 2,741 words

Read on AO3

Sneaking in and out of hospitals might as well be a part of the hero track curriculum. Shouto Todoroki likes to think he’s pretty good at it. He’s done it more than most.

He plans his visits weeks in advance and calls ahead so that the front desk knows he’s coming. Eyes down, Shouto navigates the hospital corridors, grasping the bill of his ball cap between his thumb and index finger. Indeed, it would anger Endeavor if he was seen at such a place, but that’s not why Shouto makes such an effort to camouflage himself.

For one, it wouldn’t be fair to her, his mother. Her unjust commitment is punishment enough. But also, his disguises tend to make Rei smile. When she sees her son wearing Midoria’s borrowed All-Might cap, her pale features stretch into a genuine smile.

“Does your father know you have that hat?” she laughs, slender fingers pressed to her lips.

Shouto smirks in reply. He thinks maybe, just this once, he’ll let his disguise fall on purpose.

At Rei’s request, the visit doesn’t last long. They never do, but things have been getting easier. Shouto takes it as a good omen that she can joke about her husband despite the havoc he wreaked on the collection of strangers that was once the Todoroki family.

He nearly makes it to the exit when a pair of familiar onyx eyes stops him in his tracks. Momo Yaoyorozu is a startling sight outside of her school uniform. Her raven hair is worn down, hidden by the hood of a jacket zipped taut across her chest. Shouto’s first thought is that she must be here to visit someone, like him.

His second is that she’s in a wheelchair, and she most definitely sees him as well.

“Yaoyorozu?” he queries, shocked at the suddenness of her appearance.

In response, she tries to jump out of the wheelchair. Her chest and face begin to flush with he imagines, a mixture of panic and embarrassment.

“Not so fast,” a voice chides.

Shouto’s gaze snaps upward to view a middle-aged woman grasping the handles of Momo’s chair. Both her business-like frown and her stiff-pressed uniform scream no-nonsense nurse. “Are you Ms. Yaoyorozu’s friend?” she asks. Her tone is accusatory, to say the least.

“Yes, I-”

“In the future,” she lectures, “it would be wise to accompany her all the way to the hospital when her symptoms worsen, not drop her off around the corner.”

Shouto opens his mouth to defend himself when he catches the panic in Momo’s eyes. The young semi-pro is many things, well-known for not being quick on the uptake, but he isn’t entirely without tact. He closes his mouth and nods.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be sure to do better moving forward.”

...

They take the bus back into the city center, and Yaoyorozu talks as Shouto listens. He does not ask for an explanation so much as he thinks she wants to give one. And if a sounding board is what Momo needs, Shouto believes that the least he can do is hear her out. She fiddles with her long sleeves the entire way, scratching at bandages which undoubtedly conceal needle marks. Words like ‘hypoglycemia’ and ‘quirk evolution’ pass through his ears. Shouto doesn’t understand everything she says, but he gets the gist of it.

“They don’t know if this something temporary or if the changes in my quirk’s function are permanent,” Momo says. “Either way, U.A. doesn’t know. My family has an arrangement with the hospital. We’d like to keep it quiet until… Until we’re sure… I’m fine for now, though, and I’d appreciate your discretion.”

The weight of the information takes Shouto by surprise. His discretion is one thing, but there’s a deeper issue at play.

“So, you go to the hospital when your blood sugar doesn’t come up fast enough?”

“Yes. And in between so that my doctor can monitor my bloodwork.”

“And you go alone? Jirou isn’t really dropping you off around the corner, is she?”

“No, I wasn’t ready for anyone to find out. Not even Kyoka.”

The bus isn’t crowded today, and for this, Shouto is grateful. The relative calm of the engine’s steady purr and the soothing sound of the city streets help the young man think. His decision is neatly made, conspicuously without the judgmental chiding which he thinks Yaoyorozu expects.

“I’ll go with you,” Shouto announces, leaving little room for discussion. “We have the same class schedule.”

“Todoroki, I couldn’t impose-”

“You’re not,” he says, unsure even as an ugly truth spills from his lips. When had he decided to tell her? She hadn’t asked. “My mother is in that hospital. Our family also has an arrangement. I visit her when I can. It might be better for us to travel together.”

Momo tries to protest, but Shouto will hear none of it. He makes sure she has his phone number and insures that she will use it, even for routine check-ups.

“I don’t know how to thank you, Todoroki,” Yaoyorozu says as they slip past the gates of U.A.

“Don’t thank me,” he responds. “It’s what friends are for.”

...

The first text comes a month later. Yaoyorozu and Todoroki slip out on a Wednesday night under the pretense of getting cold soba. Rei is thrilled by the impromptu visit though she cautions her son not to make school night meetups a regular thing. He doesn’t tell her about Momo. Even though he assures himself that she’s just a friend, it feels too soon.

After Yaoyorozu is given the all-clear, they really do get cold soba — her treat. He tries not to slurp the noodles, but she giggles at the attempt. There’s a bright look about her eyes that makes Shouto feel as if his half hot quirk is misbehaving.

“It’s okay to be yourself around me,” Momo says. “It’s what friends are for.”

His words taste sweeter coming out of her mouth.

...

A routine appointment brings them in on a Saturday morning, but Rei takes longer to ready herself than usual. Momo’s appointment goes smoothly, and judging by her smile, her treatments are working. She’s finished before Shouto can begin, and he realizes their delicate position.

Shouto cannot disappoint his mother, not when this visit had been planned for over a month. Neither can Momo risk being seen in the hospital. The longer she waits, the stronger the chances that she’ll be noticed.

There’s only one thing to be done. Shouto holds his breath when he asks the question, and he isn’t quite sure why the words feel heavy on his tongue.

She is just a friend, and surely, Rei would like to meet some of Shouto’s friends. She has even asked him to bring Yaoyorozu around once or twice.

“Would you like to meet my mother?” he finally blurts out.

Relief floods Shouto’s system when Momo grins broadly and tells him that she would like that very much.

...

The jacket tossed over Momo’s arm isn’t just a disguise anymore. Six months into their arrangement, she has become a regular fixture at visits. Sometimes, Momo pops her head in to say hello, and Rei responds with a polite nod, indicating that she’d like to be alone with her son. Most days, Rei invites the everything heroine inside, Momo wraps herself in a jacket and the two schoolmates listen while Shouto’s mother regales them with tales from her days of glory.

“Frostbite is an amazing hero,” Momo gushes, and Shouto can’t help but notice that Momo always uses the present tense. He also believes that his mother is an amazing woman. Time cannot tarnish the legacy she left behind when she retired to start a family. “I’m not sure anyone has been able to rival your mastery of winter weather rescue. Not even Todoroki.”

Rei preens as Shouto struggles to conceal a slight frown. “I don’t know. Shouto’s getting pretty close. He’s able to use his quirk more freely than I ever could since his hot half regulates his body temperature. Speaking of which, are you cold, Yaoyorozu? I can ask the staff to increase the temperature.”

The young man’s head turns to see his friend trembling beside him on the small loveseat. After many years of training, regulating his body temperature is second nature, as natural as breathing, but Yaoyorozu has no such capability. Shouto rarely notices how cold his mother keeps her room, but he makes a mental note to pay attention to it in the future.

Without the memory of deciding to do so, Shouto slips his left hand behind Momo’s back. His fingers tighten around the small of her waist. He isn’t sure where the bold gesture came from, but he’s relieved when his friend — and he swears to himself she’s just a friend — sinks into his touch. A knowing look flashes across Rei’s face, and Shouto isn’t sure if she is alarmed or relieved.

“Better?” he asks Momo.

And although she nods in earnest, the blush that spreads across her face makes him think he’s warmed her too much. Still, he keeps his arm around her for the remainder of their long visit, and she makes no attempt to pull away.

...

Momo’s been looking pale lately. Shouto thinks their peers are beginning to suspect something. In the back of his mind, he’s been wondering how he should phrase his concern when finally the text message comes.

Momo Yaoyorozu, 2:16 p.m.Can we visit your mother after gym today?

Shouto Todoroki, 2:16 p.m.Are you sure you don’t need to see her sooner?

Momo Yaoyorozu, 2:18 p.m.I can wait a little while. Meet you in the common area after class?

Shouto Todoroki, 2:19 p.m.Yes. We can get cold soba after if you’re up to it.

Momo Yaoyorozu, 2:19 p.m.I’d really like that.

Shouto suppresses a smile as he places his cell phone in the gym locker. He hardly hears the chatter of his classmates as they change into their swimsuits but does not believe he’s missing much. Surely, Mineta is drooling at the thought of his female classmates in form-fitting swimwear, though everyone knows their swimsuits are as modest as they come. Certainly, Bakugo is making posturing, if violent, remarks, directed toward him and Midoria. The hot and cold hero expects nothing less.

But in just over an hour’s time, he and Momo will be on their way to the hospital. And this is where the young man’s mind prefers to dwell. Shouto doesn’t know why, but he thinks he’ll feel a lot better once they’re well on their way. For her sake, he hopes Aizawa will take it easy on class 1-A today.

...

“YAOMOMO! YAOMOMO!”

Shouto hears Jirou’s screams from the other side of the pool, and his head emerges from the turbulent surface of the water just in time to see the green illumination of Midoria’s quirk. Fast as lightning, Deku makes his move, and Shouto stares on as Momo’s limp body is pulled from the lane where she was swimming laps.

Jirou screams again. “I CAN’T HEAR HER HEART. YAOMOMO!”

There’s a shuffling of bodies and a myriad of quirk usage as Class 1-A’s training kicks in. Iida speeds away to fetch Recovery Girl, and Uraraka levitates Yaoyorozu’s body, placing it down gently in the proper presentation. As Aizawa confirms Jirou’s observations, he calls off Kaminari, stating that his electric quirk is too dangerous to use under these conditions. It’s all Shouto can do to rush to her side, unsure of how he will be able to help, and when he gets there (after seconds that feel like hours), the young man is alarmed by how pale and lifeless she looks.

He blames himself, though he isn’t sure why and hold her hand as if the sheer force of his will could pump life back into her body.

But it can’t.

There is no time for hesitation. Aizawa is quick to begin chest compressions, counting loudly toward 30 as he forcibly pumps his student’s heart. And as the instructor’s voice reaches the number 20, Shouto realizes what he expected to do. He realizes that his fingers are beneath her chin, tilting her head upward, and his lips hover over hers, waiting to coax oxygen into her lungs. The hand gently caressing her forehead dips to pinch her nose, and on the count of 30, Shouto’s mouth covers Momo’s.

He gives her two gentle breaths, watching as her chest gently rises, and Shouto prepares to do it again, as many times as it takes, until she comes back to him.

It nearly breaks him when he realizes that she still tastes sweet.

...

Shouto’s classmates don’t ask how he knows the name of Momo’s doctor or the hospital where he primarily practices. They don’t question why he is aware of the Glucagon injection pen she keeps tucked into her purse, and if not for Recovery Girl’s insistence, he would have ridden in the ambulance with her. Not even Aizawa tries to stop him from leaving, even after he forbade class 1-A from rushing to Momo’s bedside.

He’ll take his punishment, whatever it is.

There are no disguises this time, and Shouto does not hesitate to call a cab. He doesn’t care when the driver recognizes him, and he cares even less about the wake of whispers that follow him inside the hospital’s automatic doors.

Recognition flashes across the receptionist’s eyes when she sees him, and it appears to bother her when she tells Shouto that she cannot release information to anyone that isn’t family. Todoroki turns away and slams his fist against a nearby wall. Rage bubbles just beneath the surface, and he can feel his quirk fluctuating dangerously beneath his skin. He is ready to search the hospital floor by floor when a familiar, middle-aged nurse catches sight of him.

She clears her throat and begins speaking loudly about the new admission in room 7309. Though unconscious, the young woman is stable, and her family is eagerly waiting to see her in the common area of the 7th floor. Shouto nods thankfully in her direction, and with an understanding tilt of her head, she responds in kind.

He races up seven flights of stairs and meets her parents, a woman with wet onyx eyes and a tall man with spiky raven hair.

They wait in silence for the dust to settle.

...

When finally he’s allowed in to see her, Shouto doesn’t know what to say. Her parents hug her, and her mother cries softly into the fabric of Momo’s hospital gown. Her father tries to accept all the guilt, and everyone agrees that U.A. should have been informed of her condition.

“Thank the Gods for Shouto Todoroki,” her mother sobs.

And that’s when she notices he is there, straddling the doorway, half in and half out of the room.

Momo’s eyes seem lighter than usual as they turn on Shouto, and from where he is standing, he feels both too near and too far from her. The lips that his mouth touched smile and beckon him to come closer. Shouto’s body obeys on instinct, and he waits patiently as her parents excuse themselves under the pretext of getting a cup of terrible hospital coffee.

“Guess I owe you some cold soba,” she offers to lighten the mood.

Shouto balks in reply.

“Momo, don’t even-”

“I was really looking forward to our date, even if it wasn’t really, y’ know, a date. And now, I might not even be allowed back at-”

In actuality, it’s the fourth or fifth time that Shouto finds his mouth pressed against Momo’s, but this time, her lips are warm and inviting and still so very sweet. He is careful of the cords and tries not to push her back into the meager cushion of her hospital bed. But there is so much worry and want that Shouto can barely contain himself. He speaks in ragged verses as one kiss becomes another and then another. And all of his words are promises of proper dates, more profound talks and endless kisses, whether she comes back to U.A. or not.

The elevated ticking of her heart monitor fills the room, and rather than annoy Shouto, the sound comforts him. Through a haze of want that threatens to consume him, he hopes that her heart belongs to him and wonders what took him so long to realize that his heart belongs to her.

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this prompt, and unsurprisingly, I over-committed. So, perhaps the prose is a bit more straightforward than usual, and maybe I wrote this thing in one, feverish sitting. And I definitely have adopted a “no beta, no cry” policy for the month of October. Suffice it to say, I hope anyone who reads this likes it! Feel free to send me pairing requests for particular prompts (Fictober or original) via my tumblr, and if you read something you like, don’t hesitate to let me know. Your kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, comments, likes and reblogs make my day!

#fictober19 #writetober19 #bnha #my hero academia #todomomo #todoroki shouto #yaoyorozu momo #todoroki rei #angst with a happy ending #fluff #heart-stopping #CPR #flourchildwrites

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ehstarwar · 4 years

Text

by chance or natures changing course (1/1)

Dating had never been an area where Rey excelled.

And it had been made unfathomably harder when she met a certain Mr. Darcy-esque man. Her beautiful, sweet, unattainable roommate, Ben.

Based on @reylo_prompts: Rey joins tinder after a long long dry spell due to her flatmate Kylo’s derision, they argue about why and in a fit of jealousy Kylo screams out ‘use me instead”.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.4K

Read on AO3

A/N: thank you to @reylo_prompts for this amazing spark of inspiration!! we stan two (2) idiot space babes who just wanna get freaky ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

The echo of her footsteps in the hallway is loud even to her. She’s not stomping, she’s sulking. Shitty Date #7 is only one in a never ending list of spectacularly awful experiences Rey has been forced to endure as of late.

#7 was late, a picky eater, of the ‘forgotten his wallet’ variety, had breath that smelled suspiciously of rotten eggs, and had STILL attempted to get her to come home with him. Rey would have loved to utilize the feminine rage that had accumulated through a life of womanhood, but her kind demeanor still prevailed. A meek ‘oh, I can’t! I’ve got an early start tomorrow!’ was given and semi-accepted before shuffling off to the bus station before he could give the whole ‘we should do this again’ spiel.

It was disappointing, to say the least.

Not as disappointing as #2 who had been an excellent candidate up until she found out he was the head of the Young Republicans of Chandrilla or #5 who didn’t show up until the movie was halfway over and at the rest of her popcorn.

Dating had never been an area where Rey excelled.

And it had been made unfathomably harder when she met a certain Mr. Darcy-esque man, who liked to cook, to clean, to debate her favorite TV shows until they’re both blue in the face, went to the gym and didn’t post about it, actually tipped when ever they went out to eat, used better shampoo than any female in her life. Her beautiful, sweet, unattainable roommate, Ben.

Ben, who didn’t even flinch when she closed the front door too hard or tugged her scarf off with too much force. He just continued standing over the pot on the stove, rhythmically stirring whatever was creating a delicious aroma though the house.

“You’re back early,” He states, still not turned. Rey humphs indignantly and sits at the bar, watching him work.

“A dud,” She says, “an utter dud.” Rey can see the muscles in his back shift and she just knows he’s smirking.

“Someone probably should have warned you about that.”

Rey sighs and rolls her eyes. “Just because Kaydel suggested I go out with him does not warrant suspicion. She has impeccable taste with her boyfriends!”

Ben adds a bit of a spice she cannot pronounce before taking the pot off the stove to cool. When Ben turns around he’s wearing the smirk Rey knew he would be, and a dish cloth tossed over his shoulder like he’s the young, innovative chef at a restaurant that will gain tons of clout on instagram.

“Kaydel’s boyfriends are always top notch because she keeps the good ones for herself. If she sets you up with a guy that has even the possibility of being worthy, it will have been a missed opportunity for her. So,” He gestures, “you get the scraps she doesn’t want.”

“Kaydel is not that cold hearted.”

“She’s an opportunist; it’s different.”

Rey sighs. Ben wordlessly grabs too bowls from the cabinet and pours each of them a generous helping of what looks to be tomato soup. Rey doesn’t have to have a bite to know it’s delicious.

They eat in relative silence before making their way to the couch. Rey only kicks off her ‘fancy shoes’, still clad in her date attire, but Ben is wearing his daily uniform but still looks like he could’ve walked right out of a Ralph Lauren spread. It would be more infuriating if he weren’t so good to look at.

They watch some inane comedy that neither of them particularly enjoy the content of, but rather the vicious comments they can make on individuals lives that will in no way affect the world around them.

“That hair looks like it’s come straight from the 80’s.”

“He must have really stretched his resume when he added ‘singer’ on there.”

“I make more in a day than what they clearly spent on their entire CGI budget.”

It’s a good way to unwind and get out all the venom without actually damaging anything. On occasion, there is a seemingly bad movies that actually end up giving the small bit of joy and thoughtfulness that makes them actually enjoy it for the content, but those are less fun.

But this particular movie does give Rey a devious idea.

“I should do that,” She say, after a few minutes of silence. Ben continues to watch, but does look confused.

“Do what?” He questions.

“Get Tinder. Try to find a good lay the up-to-date way.”

Ben immediately shifts to glare at her.

“Do be unreasonable.”

Rey faces him, confused.

“Unreasonable?” She repeats.

“You don’t need Tinder.” Ben turns back to the TV and adjusts his sitting position.

“I’m not sure if you’ve been made aware, but I’ve just been on the worst dating trend I’ve ever been on since I’ve started dating! In all honesty, it’s a little unreasonable I’m not already on there!”

Ben scoffs. “Tinder is finding someone to fuck, not to date. There are too many weirdos who just assume its for hook-ups.”

“There are plenty of weirdos out there already! I’ve even been on dates with them! I can handle a few creeps on an app.”

“At least the guys you’ve gone out with have been known and recommend by friends, so they’re not total strangers. You meet a guy off a dating app and there’s no way to make sure he’s who he says he is.”

“I’m not gonna end up on Catfished, Ben. There are plenty of normal men looking for a quick romp before being on their way, and this may be the path I use to find them.”

Ben dramatically rolls his eyes before standing up and stalking into the kitchen. Rey quickly follows him, determined to get to the bottom of his reluctance of her plan for some unknown reason.

“Why don’t you think getting Tinder is a good plan, give me an honest answer,” She asks him once they’re in the kitchen together. Ben has started clearing their plates and cleaning them in the sink with more force than necessary.

“I’ve just given you my reason, I don’t think I need to repeat myself,” He scoffs, making Rey see red.

“It’s not a good reason, but whatever. If you think friend recommendations are so much better than Tinder, then tell me who you choose.” Rey all but stomps her foot as she glares at Ben who has his eyes trained on the soapy water in the sink.

“I don’t have any good recommendations,” He says through gritted teeth.

“That’s ridiculous, Benjamin. You work for First Order! It’s practically bursting with young, ambitious men who I just know would be down for a one night stand!”

“The people who work at First Order are monsters,” Ben says. A hard scrub on one of the bowls makes a splash of water drench his shirt and get soap in his hair that had fallen in his eyes.

“What about Armie? What about you? Do you really think you’re a monster?” She practically shouts at him.

Ben’s head snaps up. “Yes I am.” He says it with such conviction that part of Rey’s heart aches.

It’s clear that this conversation has devolved into something much deeper and Rey isn’t sure either of them are in the right head space to continue down the path before them. Instead, Rey opts to roll her eyes and lift her arms in defeat.

“You’re not a monster, Ben but you are a bit of a dumbass. All I want is to get fucked to relieve some of the tension that has clearly infiltrated this conversation, and you can’t even offer one measly name up to help you ‘best friend’ out. I just don’t have-”

“Just use me!”

The air in the house stills.

Rey stands in the middle of the kitchen, feeling a bit in shock, staring back at Ben who seems equally surprised. He doesn’t speak any more, not to take back or clarify or say ‘ha! made ya look!’

They stand there, in silence, letting the words hang in the balance.

“…What?” Rey finally asks, voice light and low and for a moment she’s not sure he even heard her.

“Use me. If you want,” He says, still not moving.

Rey has to avert her eyes, because looking at Ben right now is too much. Ben, who cooks her food when she comes home from a bad date. Ben, who covers her part of the rent when money is too tight and never asks her to pay him back. Ben, who is so beautiful it hurts to look at but still somehow believes he’s a monster. Ben, who just offered himself up to Rey on a silver platter after she spent the better part of the last 10 minutes yelling at him.

“For sex?” She asks redundantly.

“For sex.” he responds.

Rey picks at her finger nails, eyes still downcast.

“Rey,” The way he says her name feels different now and makes her look up, “do you want that?” Ben is good at hiding his emotions, aways shrouded behind a mask of indifference or anger. Right now, his face seems impassive as he waits for her to respond, but Rey can tell there’s fear there. It’s subtle, and Rey may be the only person in the galaxy to recognize its presence, but it’s there.

She nods. A small breath of relief escapes his lips.

Ben resumes washing the dishes, confusing Rey. She stands there, looking at him putter around the kitchen until it’s clean enough for his standsrds, then walks right past her and down the hall. Like a new puppy, she follows him, trailing him and stopping at his door that he’s walked into.

It’s open and Ben sitting on the edge of the bed removing his shoes. Rey stands awkwardly in the doorway, not trusting her voice enough to ask him what was going on.

She looks at his bed, large and imposing (much like it’s owner), and a new sensation trickles down her spine. He’s going to fuck me on this bed she thinks. It’s only then she notices how the anticipation just from the last few minutes has made her… damp.

“Rey, are you going to come in?” He asks her, standing again.

“Do you want me to?”

He smirks.

“Get on the bed.” It’s a command, not a question. She does as he says, pulling herself on her knees in the middle of the bed, still fully dressed. She stares back at Ben as he watches her climb. When she stills, he speaks again.

“What are you comfortable with?” He asks. Rey bites her lip as she tries to think of anything Ben could do to her now that she wouldn’t welcome with open arms. She comes up blank.

“Anything.”

He cocks his head as he appraises her, making Rey feel like her skin is on fire and the wetness in her underwear become significantly greater.

“Anything?” He repeats. She nods. “Then why don’t you tell me what need me to do to you.”

“I need you to fuck me,” She says without hesitation, gaining a small chuckle from him.

“That much I know. What else?” He pulls his shirt off in one swift motion, leaving his chest bare and still slight damp from where the water splashed on him. Her mouth goes dry. “Use your words, Rey,” He chides as he goes to unbuckle his belt.

“Your fingers…” She begins as she watches the digits maneuver with elegance out of the metal belt buckle.

“What about them?” He asks as his pants fall and he steps out of him. Only his underwear is left now, and Rey can see the more than impressive bulge held behind the black material.

She thinks of the dildo she invested a whole months worth of income in that she theorized was the exact size of him. She was wrong.

“I want you… to get me off. With your fingers. And your…” Her cheeks flame as she is unable to finish the sentence.

“Say it, Rey.”

“I want you to get me off with… your cock.”

Ben looks all too smug for being the least dressed in the room. She can see the thrill of satisfaction he got from hearing her words and it in turn thrills her as well. His eyes rake over her again and she’s suddenly self conscious.

“Take off your dress,” He says. She follows instantly, tossing it to the side of the room, leaving her only in a bra, panties, and stockings. They’re black and sparkly and Rey hopes it makes her look more enticing to him.

Ben’s hand grabs her by the ankle when she’s done, and gently pulls her closer to the edge of the bed, where he still stands.

“So… my fingers, my cock… what about my mouth?” He asks, using his pointer finger to trace up her leg, over her hips and stomach, around her pert nipple that sticks out through the fabric, and up to her chin.

“That too.”

“Where?” He whispers, lowering his face right in front of hers.

“Anywhere,” She breaths.

His lips connect with hers in the next breath. Soft, chaste kisses, planted neatly on her lips as her arms come up to his shoulders. She pulls him closer as he deepens the kiss, tongue slipping into her mouth with no resistance. Ben kisses her like he’s dependent on it to breathe, like his whole existence was conjured so that he could be in this exact position. There is teeth clashing and nose bumping but it only make the kiss that much hotter.

He guides her further onto the bed, pulling her up with him as he spreads out above her. Her legs have parted naturally, letting him slot between her. She feels the warm boxer fabric rub against the tension of her stocking and wishes that he’d told her to get naked. She whines into his mouth, but he swallows it up.

His hands go to the elastic of her stocking and attempt to pull them off her legs. They’re hard to get off when you’re full attention in on them, but now it seems impossible. They catch on the swells of her hips before Ben tears them off her.

Oh well, she think, they would’ve gotten a run in them anyways.

His hands run up and down her legs, palms nearly encompassing a whole thigh in one. His lips move to the column of her throat, planting wet, hot kisses down to her chest. Rey lies boneless beneath him, letting Ben do what he wills. His thumb traces the crotch of her panties suddenly, making her jump. Ben shushes her as his body comes over hers like a weighted blanket.

His fingers tease her soaked undergarments, making Rey whine for more. She arches into him when his hand falls away, and she chases his touch.

“Ben…” She cries, sounding pathetic even to her own ears.

“Hmm?” He makes a noise into her chest as his tongue traces the outline of her nipple through the scrappy material of her bra.

“Want… more… said you’d… fuck me…” She mewls. All at once, Ben pulls back from her, but keeps his hands on her torso, holding her down.

“And you greedy little thing said you wanted my fingers and my cock.”

Rey full on pouts, using everything in her arsenal for this one.

“Then why haven’t you given me one of them?” The smugness from Ben’s face drops as his lips crash on hers. Rey feels his hand go to cup her core before ripping off her underwear just like her stockings.

Well… they were impractical anyways.

Fingers trace her folds, always managing to avoid brushing over her clit with a precision that is making Rey crazed. She’s about to chide him, taunt Ben for not giving her what she’d been promised when he sticks one into her the same time his thumb pushes on her clit. Rey has to bite the inside of her cheek from screaming too loud.

“So wet for me… dripping all over yourself like a little whore…” He says. Rey could cry. How does this man know the right buttons to push? How can he say exactly the right thing that makes Rey loose it? She can’t think of how he knows she likes this because he’s pushing in a second finger just behind the first.

Ben moans against her lips. “If two is a stretch… my cock might ruin you.”

“Please,” She begs, “… want you to ruin me.”

Ben grunts as he works faster, rocking her on his fingers just like it would be if he was fucking her. Just like it would be when he’s fucking her. He’s promised, hasn’t he?

Rey feels all the tell-tale signs of an approaching orgasm, in significantly less time than it takes for her to get herself there. It would be a little humiliating if it didn’t feel so. fucking. good.

“You’re gonna be a good little whore for me… right? You’re gonna… you’re gonna come all over daddy’s hand? Hmmm?” He questions into her skin. Rey’s nails dig into the meet of his shoulder, brought to the brink of nirvana when she hears the name.

“Yes… Yes daddy… gonna be so good… good for you..” Her voice is breathless and light and her body feels like a live wire. His thumb works incessantly on her, and when the third finger breeches her opening, Rey is lost.

Her hands grip any part of Ben they can find purchase on, her chest bowing into his, head thrown back and eyes closed in ecstasy. Her body trembles beneath his, but his fingers still push into her in a rhythmic pattern. He works her through it, muttering praises and endearments like ‘so good for daddy’ or ‘take what you need sweetheart.’

Rey thinks this must be what it feels like the first time you experience a hard drug. An addiction blooms in her body with the first taste, and she hasn’t really even touched Ben yet.

Ben lays her on the bed, adjusting her so that she’s on a pillow and her hair is fanned out. Rey feels her cunt pulse, and knows that despite her organs, her body is no where near done. Ben looks like he feels the same.

His hands massage her body, running from the tips of her toes to her hair line. When his paws come up to the only piece of fabric still adorning her body, Rey places her hands on his.

“No these, please… bra’s are hard to find…” Rey tells Ben. While he seems displeased that he’s not able to display another manly bravado of ripping more clothes off her, he does resign himself to reaching under her, unhooking the fabric, and guiding her out of the bra. When he tosses it off the bed, Rey snatching his hand and brings it to her mouth, placing sloppy kisses on it in lieu of thanks.

The scratchy material of his boxers rubs agains the side of her thighs, where he’s resting between, remind them both that there’s one more thing to shed. Ben looks at her, waiting for something, but Rey keeps laving his hands with her wet kisses.

Something grows dark in his eyes when he speaks again.

“If we do this…” he starts, “it can’t be undone.” It’s a loaded statement that is able to say so much with so little. A talent of Ben’s that Rey will forever be in awe of.

“I know,” She whispers against his skin.

Whatever he was waiting for, that must have been it. Ben quickly stands, rids himself of his boxers and climbs right back between her legs, like he never left at all.

If his cock was impressive though his underwear, it was a damn knock out without them. Rey really doesn’t mean to stare, but my god, Ben is packing.

“A stretch?” She questions, eyes lifting to his. Ben nods. Rey gulps.

Her hand tentatively reaches out, fingers tracing the light dusting of a happy trail that leads to him. He’s hard, achingly so. Tip red and angry and Rey wants so badly to suck him, but she knows that’s not what tonight is. Her fingers gently tap on his head, feeling the small drops of precome gathered there, watching the tacky fluid stick between her fingertips.

Ben’s hand goes to wrap around his base, holding himself as his cock twitches beneath her touch.

“You can play with it, or I can fuck you,” Ben challenges her.

“Not both?” Rey teases.

“Not right now.”

She leans back, looking up at Ben and admiring him like he had been able to do so much. She considers herself, debating whether pulling him to orgasm with her hand the same way he did to her would be as satisfying as him doing the thing that brought them here in the first place. She decides that not right now will mean that later tonight she can have her fun, so she opts for the second option.

“You did say you’d fuck me.”

“I did.”

“I think you should do that… for now.”

Ben grins. His hands dart out to her hips and pull her around so that she’s on her stomach, ass pushed in the air. The sudden movement causes the air to be knocked out of her lungs, but it would’ve escaped anyways when his palm strikes her ass.

“That’s for making me wait,” He tells her. Rey can’t help to moan when she feels his palm go to soothe the reddened skin. She pushes her ass towards him, hoping that he’ll take the hint.

“You’re gonna be a good girl for daddy? You’re gonna let me fuck you full of my come?” He says. Rey bites a pillow as she just barely refrains spinning around, shoving him back and dropping down on his cock.

“Words, sweetheart,” Ben reminds her.

“Yes!” She squeaks out. “I’ll be a good girl for you, daddy… please just- just-”

“Tell me,” He says as she feel’s his cock trace her outer folds. Her hips angle back trying to make him enter her.

“… Please fuck me, daddy.”

Ben pushes into her as soon as the words leave her mouth. He’s slow, letting her adjust to him when he finally bottoms out. Rey bites into the pillow even harder. She can hear Ben’s pants above her and can feel the tension in his hands that now hold her hips.

“… Tell me when you’re good, baby.” Ben sounds as breathless as she’s sure she would if she had the capability of speech at the moment. Ben is deathly still within her, but Rey adjust and wiggles herself, earning choked moans and growls from him.

“Good, daddy… so good,” She finally says, earning a sigh of relief from Ben as he instantly begins to move. His hips rock into hers, shallow at first, before setting a steady pace. She mewls beneath him, trying to move her hips to meet his in time.

Ben falls forward, chest falling onto her back, and his mouth going to her shoulder. Rey snakes a hand up towards his head, fingers curing themselves though his hair. His mouth kisses and bites at her shoulder as his hip begin to move harder, making a slapping sound with every thrust.

“You’re gonna… come for me, okay? You gotta come on me, baby. I gotta know what it feels like,” He mumbles on her skin. Rey nods as her other hand goes to hold over his on her hip, and guide it to her center, just above where his cock is sliding into her. Ben instantly gets the message, finger dexterously going to circle at her clit.

Rey feels her knees shake with effort as his cock moves so deeply within her. He’s the biggest she’s ever had, ever will have, and he reaches parts inside of her Rey wasn’t sure existed. His whole body rest above her, not crushing her, but holding her. Making her feel safe within his embrace so that he could do whatever he wanted to. The feeling of being under Ben as pounds into her is delicious and exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

Her head is such a mixture of emotions and ecstasy that Rey almost doesn’t recognize the orgasm as it approaches her. She gasps when she realizes that the tingling sensation starting to spark at her fingertips mean that she’s nearing the peak again.

“Daddy… Ben… I’m… I’m gonna…”

“I know, Rey. I need to feel it, please. Come on me, baby, please…” Ben begs.

Her whole body clenches when she comes, forcing Ben to make a choking sound at the sensation of her cunt squeezing the life out of his cock. He comes almost in time with her, spilling hotly within her. He grunts and holds her as tightly as possible as he pumps the last of himself within her.

Rey can feel the sweat of their bodies coating her back, but she feels his face rest on her upper back and plant kisses along her spine. It seemed almost too intimate of a moment for her brain to process, and she’s almost grateful that she wasn’t eating Ben come. Seeing that while feeling it would throw Rey off a cliff she didn’t even know she’d climbed.

They hold their positions for a moment, letting Ben give the rest of his come to her waiting cunt. Rey feels his hands move again, maneuvering them to lay on their sides, Ben still firmly planted within Rey.

His hands stroke her sides as their breathing returns to normal.

Rey can’t remember a time when she ever felt this safe after sex. Like there was no where else in the world Ben wanted to be other than right here. It was intoxicating.

After a while, she’s worried he’s fallen asleep (or that she would if she remained sedentary any longer), so she calls out for him softly.

“Ben?”

“Hm?” The vibrations from his voice reverberate down her spine.

“Are you awake?” She asks.

“… Yeah.” She can hear the small smile in his voice.

“Good… I didn’t want to wake you when I…” She trails off, trying to think of a not-gross way to phrase this.

“When you got off my dick and let my come spill out of you?” He provides. Despite what they’ve just done, Rey blushes.

“Yeah.”

Ben adjust them so that she’s back on her front, and he’s sitting on his haunches. He slowly pulls out his softening cock, and Rey clenches hard so that the mad rush of fluids don’t coat his bedspread. There’s also a small voice inside her head thats saying ‘he want’s you to keep it’ but Rey totally ignores it.

“Stay,” Ben commands, getting up from the bed. She ears the flick of a light switch, the running of water, before he comes back getting back onto the bed, and stroking her puffy core with a warm cloth.

Rey relaxes as he cleans her, stroking her cunt with such care and kindness, you almost wouldn’t believe he was the one pounding into it with abandon not so long ago.

She feels him get off the bed again to dispose of the cloth before sliding next to her and practically holding her body up to turn her. He settles them down, him lying on his back with Rey draped over one side of him, legs spread between one of his. Her head lies in the crook of his neck, hand holding onto his chest and his plays with the ends of her hair on her back.

They lay like this is what they do every night. With such normalcy and established routine that makes Rey’s chest feel fuzzy. There is a gnawing question on her mind, so she’s asks him before he actually does fall asleep.

“How did you know what I was into? I mean… some of it’s pretty common but others are… not,” She says, fingers tracing the muscles in his chest.

“You read fan fiction in public settings, including on our couch, beside me. I didn’t have to pry too hard,” Ben tells her. His voice vibrates though his whole body, making her buzz in a delicious way.

“… I didn’t know you could see that…” She mumbles. Ben laughs lightly.

“It has been very… informative.” Rey scoffs, making him laugh further. When the settle down and the silence returns, Rey can tell there’s something on the tip of his tongue.

“Ben?” She asks.

“Yeah?”

“You can ask me anything, you know.”

More silence.

“… Is this… something you wanted? You can be honest,” He tells her.

“I think I’m actually the one who asked you, if I recall correctly.”

“No, I mean… with me. I know I wasn’t exactly what you were hoping for tonight and I-”

Rey shoots up to look at Ben. It’s the first time he’s been below her all night, and Rey is able to stare down at his breathtakingly beautiful face, glowing in the moonlight. He’s beautiful to her, always is and aways will be, but there’s a vulnerability in his face right now that makes Rey realize that she’s in control right now. That this is one of those life-altering moments that will inevitably change the world in ways she can’t fathom depending on what she does.

“I may have hoped for something else in the beginning,” Rey starts, “but, Ben, you’re exactly what I wanted.”

The smile that breaks across his face melts Rey and she knows she’s made the right choice.

Brunch is never a dull affair with their friend group. They keep it interesting with gossip or life-changing announcements or the occasional group activity. This particular brunch Ben and Rey are attending is par for the course, going smoothly at the groups favorite eatery in Chandrila. Rose, Hux, and Kaydel are currently arguing over which breakfast carb is superior, pancakes or waffles. Phasma is checking emails while flawlessly being able to keep up with every conversation at the table. Poe, Finn, and Jannah are discussing if the couple two tables over is breaking up or just fighting.

It’s the normal routine for everyone.

Except, of course, Ben and Rey.

They’re sitting next to each other, which my itself isn’t totally unusual, but instead of Rey wishing she was the fork Ben grasps so tightly or the glass that gets to feel the plushness of his lips, she’s content where she it. Ben has his hand holding onto her upper thigh, just teasing at the hemline with his finger tips. His shoe knocks into hers, calves brushing together.

They’re sitting so close, she can feel the heat radiating off his body. She’ll blame that for the blush staining her cheeks.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Kaydel suddenly squeals, making Rey stop mid bite of her waffle/pancake/french toast combination that Ben said was ‘ungodly.’ “Rey, I totally forgot, but how was your date the other night with… um, what’s his name…” She tries to think of #7’s name. It takes Rey an embarrassing amount of time to remember it herself.

“Ugh, you mean Snap? It went… alright, I guess,” She tells the table, now all eyes on her. Ben squeezes her thigh harshly for a moment.

“Oh, you poor thing!” Kaydel says. “He seemed like such a nice guy. Why didn’t it work out?” She questioned further. Rey didn’t have to look at Ben to know he was smirking.

“Um, I was… he just… not my type, ya know?” Rey deflects.

“Then what is your type? I’m sure Kaydel would like to know so she can curate her recommendations better,” Ben says. Rey slaps his stomach.

“Actually, I don’t need anymore… suggestion.” The energy at the table shifts, and Rey gets a devious idea.

“Oh my god, peanut, did you find someone?” Finn asks, garnering the attention of everyone, even Phasma who tries to stay out of this type of conversation as much as possible.

“Yeah, I did.”

Squeels of joy erupt from around the table as a barrage of questions suddenly spill from everyones lips.

“Does he live here?”

“Is he rich?”

“Do we know him?”

“What’s he do for a living?” “Tell us about him!”

Rey smiles. “Well, I really like him but there is one problem.”

“What?” Ben barks up, suddenly. She turns to look at him, giving him the sweetest expression she can muster, the one that makes him melt like butter.

“He’s got a really small dick.”

Ben chokes on his grits.

—

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julia-highstorms · 5 years

Text

Whatshisname (Bryce x Rei (F!MC))

Author’s note: I remember Bryce commented on one chapter that he was a bartender during med school and I love the “what if they’ve met before?” trope. I believe that there’s a right place and time in our lives for things to happen, and that some random people from our past somehow in the end becomes someone important furthermore. I’m also inspired by Vic (@sawyeroakleyscowboyhat) who says that “someone like Bryce would never look at a girl like me” lol a mood 😂 So this fanfic takes place a few years before Open Heart. My masterlist

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Rating: PG-13 (alcohol)

Pairing: Bryce x F!MC (Rei Sato)

Word count: 1800

Rei sat down onto the stool with a heavy sigh, her forehead hitting the wooden bar countertop. There were just a few people in the dim and small bar. Well, it was still 3 pm after all.

She had lost her trip for nothing.

...Okay, not entirely.

Stanford University was holding a long week conference and all the most influential medical researchers and doctors were attending it. And that included her own idol, Dr. Ethan Ramsey. She had read all his work and, as soon as she knew the Dr. Ramsey was going to give a seminar there, she fled from Maryland and all the way to California right away. The timing was perfect; although she would miss some classes that Friday, she’d watch Dr. Ramsey’s seminar, go back home to Oregon in time for Tom’s - her little cousin - birthday and she’d see her family again - she missed all of them like hell - and on Sunday afternoon she’d be back to Baltimore. It was a wild trip but it would be worth it.

…But as soon as Rei stepped into the Californian university, she was informed that the experienced doctor wouldn’t be able to attend the conference due to some complication at his work.

She had travelled almost 10 hours for that and he wasn’t even there. Okay, she saw other celeb physicians talks, but… it wasn’t the same thing. They weren’t her idol.

So that was a lost trip. She didn’t have any money and she knew she should be going back to San Francisco in a couple hours, but she was so frustrated she decided to go to the nearest bar she could find and drown her frustration in affordable alcohol as any other broke student (god knew how much she had to pay for her tuition, ugh). Going in there meant more money into her debt, but Rei wanted to forget all that.

“What can I get you?” - she heard the bartender talking to her.

“The strongest and cheapest drink you have.”

Although she couldn’t see it, the man raised his eyebrow.

“That bad, huh? Alright, I’ll get you a mojito. And don’t worry. It’s on the house.”

Rei immediately lifted her head.

“No, you don’t need to—” - her voice dying as she finally saw the bartender’s face.

He was gorgeous.

Like heavenly gorgeous. His hair was flawless, his face structure was one belonged to the Gods, and he had a smirk that left her dumbstruck.

“Nah, it’s okay.” - he winked at her, skillfully fetching her drink, and the young medical student blushed violently. Rei wasn’t one to be flattered easily. In fact, Stephen, her best friend, was constantly flirting with her, but she never bothered nor cared. She would just laugh it off. But there was something about that bartender that made her heartbeat speed up.

He looked like a god. She was pretty sure he was being only nice to her because that was his job. But that wink and bright white smile caught her off guard. She even forgot her sorrow for a second.

“U-uh, thanks.” - she managed to mumble, taking her glass. His hands brushed slightly on hers and Rei could swear she felt an electric current flowing between them.

“You’re welcome.” - he winked again before turning to a group of freshly arrived customers. The young woman quickly found a booth, her face still flushed.

Rei was still feeling numb. She wasn’t one to feel attracted easily. It was just so rare when she found someone hot.

But that bartender… she was having some naughty thoughts while sipping on her mojito, watching him skillfully prepare some drinks to other customers. Hmm, he was pretty good with his hands...

“Oh my God, stop it, Rei. Get ahold of yourself.” - she muttered to herself, embarrassed for even thinking that.

She decided to focus on something else…

Just when that thought flashed her mind, her phone started buzzing with texts from her mother, asking when she was arriving, how long it would take her to come home. if she needed Dad to pick her up at the bus station, if she would really go back to Maryland by Monday, if she didn’t have an important test on Monday that she could possibly miss...

Rei spent a few minutes answering to all her mom’s inquiries. When Mom seemed to calm herself, the young woman looked over to the bar counter, wondering if the bartender would still be there. She always lost track of time whenever her mom started with all that interrogation.

He looked up at the exact moment as she glanced there, his dark eyes locking with hers. And he flashed her that smirk that made Rei feel her knees turning into jelly. She looked away immediately and resumed to drinking.

Okay, that was just a coincidence. He just probably saw something or someone behind her, right? Like, it didn’t mean he looked right at her.

Rei attempted to glance at the bartender once more, who looked up again, smirking a bit wider this time.

Oh my god, he was totally checking her out too. That was how people stole glances? What should she do? Never in a hundred million years Rei Sato would have imagined a god like him would look over to her not once, neither twice, but three times over! Oh god, she was starting to panic—

No, come on, Rei. This is getting ridiculous. Just get up and go talk to him. You’re an independent woman, dammit.

Taking a deep breath, she stood up and walked over to him, his eyes trained on her, never leaving her face. Rei felt her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as she approached the handsome stranger, thoughts starting to fly around her mind.

If she was going there, she would have to say something. She couldn’t just stand in there in front of him and say nothing. Maybe ask his phone number? But why? She lived in the other side of the country and she would be gone from Stanford in a couple of hours. In fact, she should be going to the airport at that right moment.

Oh god, she was almost there. There were no other clients talking to him. He was completely free.

“Hey.” - she tried to sound both confident and relaxed, but Rei was hyperventilating so hard, she surely was as red as a tomato.

“Hey.” - he greeted her back, his smile widening as he leaned over the counter. - “What can I get you?”

“I…” - she mumbled, dumbstruck by his energy. Oh my god, his hair was flawless… uh, say something! - “Uh… where’s the restroom?”

She watched him biting his lower lip - was it another flirting technique? Or was he disappointed? Jeez, what it meant? - before pointing out to the door in the back of the saloon with a W.C. sign on it.

The young woman quickly thanked him and locked herself inside the small restroom, leaning her back against it.

“You’re ridiculous, Rei.” - she told herself, and decided to throw some water on her face, the heat of her cheeks going down. After waiting for a couple of minutes, she left the restroom, as ready as she could ever be.

The bartender was now busy, preparing drinks while talking to a group of girls - probably Stanford students - who seemed to know him well.

Rei felt a bit more relaxed by it - she was the worst flirt ever - and returned to her booth. She finished her mojito and looked at the time. She would have to wait some more and then would go get a bus and then a train to San Francisco, where she should take her flight to Oregon and then another bus to her hometown, a small town named Westchester. It would all take 5 hours, but she would be back home before dinner. The medical school student felt the tiredness consuming her body, but it was going to be worth it in the end. She missed her family like hell and Tomo would be thrilled to see her on his birthday. They were cousins but got along well like siblings.

Oh crap, she forgot to buy his present! She’ll have to get something for him at the airport shop. Maybe new headphones? He was always breaking his—

Suddenly, a glass with a transparent liquid was set in front of her. She promptly lifted her head, murmuring:

“I didn’t ask for anything—” - shutting up when she saw who was standing there, right next to her. That smirk.

“I know, but this might help you. It’s water.”

“Oh… thank you…” - Rei was back to being monosyllabic and drank the water in one go. The bartender chuckled.

“Hey, calm down. You’ll choke drinking this fast.”

“Sorry… I mean, thanks… I mean, ugh…” - she knew she was sounding like a total loser. Not that she wasn’t one. Rei noticed that he had changed his clothes. - “Oh, are you heading home? Uh, sorry, this was too personal…”

“Don’t worry about it. My shift’s over, but I’m heading to my classes. I’ve never seen you around the campus before.”

“It’s because I’m not from here… when I heard that Dr. Ramsey was coming to the conference, I fled all the way here…”

“Dr. Ramsey? As author of Diagnostic Principles, Dr. Ethan Ramsey?”

“Do you know him?!” - her jaw dropped.

“Yeah, I believe every medical student has heard about him.”

“Oh my god, are you a medical student too?”

“Yes. I’m going to be a surgeon, though.” - he smirked confidently. - “Where do you study at?”

“At Johns Hopkins.”

The bartender whistled.

“Wow, you’re good. Color me impressed.” - Rei felt her cheeks getting slightly hotter as he suddenly checked his watch. - “Crap, I have to go. But what do you say we continue this later? We can grab dinner.”

Rei felt her heart leaping inside her chest. HE WAS ASKING HER OUT!!!!!! She bit her lower lip, looking hesitant.

“Sorry… In fact I’m flying home later today…” - fuuuck!! She couldn’t believe that a guy like him was asking her on a date but she can’t go!!!!!! Fuuuuck!!!!!

“Aww, that’s too bad.” - the stranger pouted. - “But hey, maybe we will meet again someday, right? Since we're both going to be doctors.”

“Ha, yeah.” - Rei snorted to that idea, rolling her eyes. There were thousands of hospitals in the US. The possibility of them meeting ever again was unlikely.

“Never say never.” - he winked at her and Rei’s face got bright red. - “Now I really gotta go or I’ll be late. See you someday, stranger.”

“Yeah. See you someday.” - she waved shyly at him, her cheeks still flushed.

She watched as the bartender left the bar with confident steps.

Okay, going to Stanford wasn’t a total waste of time after all.

…

...Crap, she never got his name.

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @pixelburied @nyastarlight @endlessflame @awkwardalbatros @choicesarehard @strangelycami @stillafictosexual @queen-among-writers @indiacater @worldofchoices @radlovedreamer @fairydustandsarcasm @choicesthot @blackreddish @lilyofchoices @fluffywhitehair @weaving-in-words @eileendannie @hellooliviaolivia @professorortegasstudent @bucket-harrington @god-save-the-keen @choices97 @camcantarella @thequeenchoices @miss-raleigh-carrera @omgjasminesimone (if you would like to be tagged in upcoming Bryce x MC fanfics, tell me!)

#bryce lahela #bryce x mc #bryce x rei #rei sato #open heart #playchoices #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic #playchoices fanfiction

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fanficsandmoregalore · 6 years

Text

Love By Moonlight

Kylo Ren x Reader chapt 2

While Kylo Ren was planning a festival, similar plans were being made in the Village La Resistance, under the rule of alpha couple, Leia and Han. The two had hosted several small parties, similar to festivals, but only certain packs were allowed to attend, for the safety of the village. They were called "confrences", but they were too formal and the villagers were usually bored by them. Like Kylo, Leia and Han had many allies and a fairly large pack but it was still a very closed community. Their village was a bit less advanced than Kylo's but that was okay. Everyone knew everyone which is why they decided to try to host another festival. Leia had gotten news that a handful of her villagers had not found their soulmates. One of those villagers was Rey's good friend, (y/n), who was a very shy omega.

"(Y/n), come on!" Rey excitedly cheered as she dragged you to the center of the village. Rey had been talking about the plans for the festival nonstop since she heard Leia talk about it with Han. She was so excited for you to possibly meet your soulmate. She always felt bad for you, figuring you must've been so lonely. Truth be told, you were fine on your own, you sometimes preferred it. At last, Rey had successfully dragged you to the village square for the big announcement. News must travel fast because everyone was talking about the festival when you arrived. Leia and Han walked out of their home that was at the center of the village and everyone cheered immediately upon seeing their faces. Han signaled for everyone to quiet down.

"We will be hosting yet another conference with our usual allies." Leia stated with a serious tone. The villagers all began to chatter amongst themselves, obviously very confused. Then Leia smiled and giggled a bit, making Han smile and chuckle.

"She's kidding everyone. This year, we will be bringing back an old tradition. We are going to be hosting a festival!" And with that, everyone cheered. Except you, of course. You didn't like the confrences and the festival would only be a larger, more rowdy version of them.

"Isn't this great?! A festival! I'm so excited!" Finn asked Rey loudly so she could hear him over the crowd. Finn was Rey's mate. Rey found Finn alone and hurt after he had saved Poe, another member of your pack and another one of your friends. Finn was originally in Kylo's pack but left because he felt out of place and didn't agree with their customs but nobody ever really asked him about it, he was just accepted as a new member when he arrived.

"Yeah! Maybe we'll finally find out who this cutie's soulmate is." And there he was, Poe. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders from behind you and kissed your cheek, making you blush. Rey and Finn laughed and began to talk between themselves. Poe was always a big flirt when it came to you but you never returned the gestures. He was only a friend, nothing more and nothing less. But no matter what you told Rey, she was convinced you and Poe were soulmates.

"You as excited as Finn, (y/n)?" Poe whispered into your ear. You shook your head and he hugged you.

"I am. I hope i find my soulmate this time 'round. Maybe i have but i just haven't heard her sweet voice siging out to me." Poe's whisper was smooth but still not romantically appealing to you. Many girls in the village and elsewhere hoped they were destined to be Poe's mate but he had his heart set on you. Poe went from having his arms around your shoulders to having his hand resting around your hip as he talked next to you with Rey and Finn.

"You guys, i'm going to go home." You said quietly. They were too busy happily talking about the festival to hear you and you sighed. This wasn't unusual of them and it didn't make you upset or anything, it was just the fact that they didn't understand you. That's what you wanted from a mate, someone who understood how you felt. Poe was nice and all but he was too affectionate and loud for your liking. And his singing never called out to you, he sang to you often so you were definitely sure, but he kept trying anyway. You removed yourself from Poe's grip, which caught his attention, and started walking towards your home outside of the village. Poe gently grabbed your shoulder as he caught up to you, though you had only gotten a few feet away.

"(Y/n), where are you going? Leia and Han were going to talk more about the festiva-"

Poe stopped and began to growl, putting you behind him protectively, baring his fangs and his nails turned to claws. You heard gasps from the other villagers and looked over Poe's shoulder to see a blonde lady in a knight's suit of armor, a ginger who wore a black coat and black pants tucked into his boots, and a pack of grey wolves behind them, all showing their fangs. Han was quick to come and get between the visitors, you and Poe, who was still shielding you.

"What the hell do you want?" Han questioned sternly, he seemed to know them and not in a good way. The blonde only rolled her eyes and looked to the ginger. He scoffed and handed Han a piece of parchment. Leia joined his side and looked at the page as well while the red-haired man spoke.

"Your son, Kylo Ren, decided to bring back tradition and is hosting a festival."

"Kylo Ren is not my son." Han hissed out, with resent lacing his words.

"Either way, due to the code of our kind, we must invite all the neighboring packs and what not, that means you as well. That has our location and a list of who all has recieved an invitation. It's up to you whether or not you want to attend."

Han scoffed, crumbling the thing in his hands.

"No thanks."

"We'll inform Kylo Ren that you won't be coming. What a shame." The ginger said sarcastically and with that, the strangers left. Leia looked at Han with hurt eyes as if he had insulted her directly.

"Han, this might be our only chance to see our son again! What were you thinking?!"

"Kylo Ren is a monster. Our son isn't." After that, Han gave the parchment to Leia and walked away. Leia looked at you and Poe, asking if you two were alright.

"I'm fine. You okay, (y/n)?" Poe said, he turned to you, looking normal again. You nodded and stood there awkwardly as Rey and Finn came over to join you.

"Leia, what are we gonna do? You're not actually considering going to Starkiller Village, are you?" Finn asked. Leia let out a sigh and looked in the direction the strangers had came from.

"He's my son. I haven't seen him since we ..... i want to go. I want to see him." Leia stated defiantly, "But Han will more than likely not let me go...at least not alone." Leia smiled at the four of you. You knew exactly where she was going with this and you didnt want any part of it.

You tried to tell her you didnt want to go, you were only an omega.

"Leia, i'd love to help bu-"

"Great! We'll meet back here in the morning to go to Starkiller Village and scope things out. If it seems fine, we'll attend Be-...Kylo's festival." Leia didn't like hearing her son's new name leave her mouth but the feeling of sadness was quickly replaced by joy when she thought about how she'd win her son back and they'd all be happy. Everyone split up, heading to their own homes, and you heading off to yours.

Early the next morning, against your better judgement, you showed up to the spot to meet with Leia, Rey, Finn, and Poe. They were waiting for you and before you got close to the others, Poe came over to you.

"Listen, (y/n). If we get there and anything happens, you stick close to me. I'll protect you, alright?"

"Sure thing, Poe. Thanks."

Poe gently pinched your cheek as he smiled.

"Anything for my girl."

You smiled but internally cringed. It was cute, too cute. You both walked the few feet to get with the rest of your group. Leia had a map and you could see where she had circled the location for Starkiller Village. It wasn't too far actually but it wasn't close either, a good 30 miles, if not more. You were uneasy as Leia talked about her plan. You had heard so many bad things about that village and even worse things about its alpha, Kylo Ren. You didn't know what he looked like but your friends described him as a scarred monster, a truly terrible human being, and so on and so forth.

"If we are separated by some chance, i want you all to find the river, follow it upstream to the waterfall and wait there until morning. I will come find you." Leia stated, pointing to the river in the map. And with that, the group was off. Leia was unaware that Han was very aware of her plans and was following your group, to make sure his wife was safe and, even if he didn't admit it, to see his son who he had cast out all those years ago.

- meanwhile -

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Kylo screamed at Hux. Hux rolled his eyes as Kylo began to destroy an entire room with his bare hands.

"I invited your parents' village; it's the code of werewolves to invite all the ne-"

"I know the damn code but I gave you direct orders not to invite them!"

"Sir, if you're going to host a festival, you have to do it right. And that means, all packs are invited, allies or not." Phasma added. Kylo threw another chair at the the wall, it shattered from the force he threw it with.

"I don't know why you're so angry, they're not coming anyway. Your father, Han Solo, was very clear about that."

"Han Solo is not my father!" Kylo growled, his eyes were a burning yellow. If he got any more upset, he'd wind up destroying his entire home. Hux chuckled to himself, recalling Han saying something similar about Kylo. Kylo sat in his throne chair, the only one remaining, and sighed as he pinched his temple.

"This was a bad idea. Nobody will want to show up." Kylo thought out loud. He was sure nobody would attend his festival and that he wouldn't find his soulmate after all.

"It would appear you're wrong. We have company." Hux stated as he looked out the window. Kylo stood and looked out the window. In the woods, he saw his mother leading 4 others. Kylo growled loudly but it escalated into a loud scream of anger.

"Did you guys hear that?"

Poe looked around, you were all close to the village by now but still in the woods.

"Poe, be quiet or we'll be spotted." Finn warned his friend in a whisper. And as if on cue, your group was surrounded by a pack of wolves similar to the ones from before. You all gathered around Leia to keep her safe but she stepped forward and from the shadows came the one she wanted to see. He circled around your group, slowly, looking over each and everyone one of you before stopping again in front of his mother.

"Hello, Ben."

"That's not my name." Kylo quickly replied, "What do you want, mother?"

"I want to come to your festival." She stated with a smile, clearly not frightened at all. Kylo frowned and turned his back to his mother. You looked at Kylo, he wasn't nearly as scary looking as everyone said.

"If my beta hadn't gone against my orders, you wouldn't even have an invitation. I'm feeling generous so I'll let you leave in peace....this time. But don't come back. Ever."

"What a jerk."

Everyone turned to look at you. You covered your mouth, regretting your sudden outburst. Kylo walked over to you and towered over you, trying to be intimidating. Poe was right by you, an arm already in front of you in case Kylo tried anything, and Kylo took note of it.

"And who are you? I know the rest of these people, but you are...new." Kylo asked, but he wasn't interested, he was annoyed and wanted to know who he was annoyed with.

"Uh, i'm (y/n)."

"Hmm, interesting." Kylo backed up and thought for a minute. He pointed at you but looked at his mother.

"Give her to me. Consider her collateral. You can come back and get her on the day of the festiva, and she satys here so i know that you won't plan some sort of attack. Deal?"

"No! Take me instead!" Poe took hold of your hand and begged Kylo. Kylo smirked and shook his head.

"I knew you'd say that, Dameron. But you're not as pretty to look at." Kylo said, purposely trying to make Poe angry, and he did.

"Come on." Kylo said to you before turning to walk back to his village.

"What if i say no?" You asked. Kylo turned on his heel and faced you. You were feeling surprisingly confident for someone who is always really shy and nervous around strangers.

"If you say no, then you can go back to your village, no problem, but you will never come back to mine. Not for some festival or any other reason."

You looked at Leia then back to Kylo and sighed. Leia was always there for you, it was time you returned the favor. She really wanted to go to this festival all to see her son and you were gonna be the reason she did. You looked up at Kylo and he smirked again, knowing your answer.

"Right this way, (y/n)."

#fanfics #fanfiction #kylo ren #star wars #kylo ren x reader #love by moonlight

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samcro-saint99 · 6 years

Text

Off to the Races

Hey Dolls! This one is once again very loosely based on ‘Ride’ and ‘Off to the Races’ by the Queen herself, Lana del Rey. I would love to thank @thirstygirlclub for giving it a look over for me! As always if you guys would like a part two I would be more than happy to oblige! Up next is a Chibby request :)

All my Love,

Saint xxx

Update - I’m really sorry but I have no idea what’s going on with the font/format here 😳

She had grown tired of feeling alone, so she ran. The men she met on the road, although they didn’t love her, she found solace in there arms. The affection they shared, gave her validation. Made her feel worth something.

She was a girl who had always dreamed of being a singer, but cynic inside her saw those dreams dashed, becoming a million stars in the dark night sky. That dream was replaced with an insatiable urge to run, to be free. She wished on those stars over and over that she would be free. Then one day, she decided to take the stars into her own hands and just run.

Her body gracefully writhed to the beat, her little black dress riding up with each bend of her long elegant legs. The lights both dizzied and dazzled her, the rhythm of the music coursing through her blood, hypnotising her soul. But she was not unaware of the serious man watching her over his beer at the bar, and it made her smirk knowing what she was doing to him. She brushed her hair over one shoulder, knowing that the sight of her exposed neck cascading down to her ample chest would drive him wild. Grinding up against a crow eater, she could feel his stare boring into her. Strutting over to the bar to stand by him, he placed a hand on her ass as she sipped her Bacardi cruiser, feeling the sweet liquid roll down her throat as his hand caressed her curves.

It was 2 in the morning, the street lights illuminating the street outside her favourite night spot. But it was far from another night of work. She felt the sting in her palms and knees as she collided with the ground. Leaning on all fours trying to still the spinning world, she felt him grab her by the arm and pull her up, her head smacking the brick wall as pushed her against it, gasping for breath as his hand tightened around her throat, vaguely aware of the roar of motorcycles passing the ally way. She should’ve screamed for help, but all she could think was, ‘it was always going to happen’. His hand moved up her thy roughly, pushing up her tight skirt.

Suddenly she slumped back to the ground, the feel of the cool rough concrete against her cheek, barely able to make out the sight of her attacker being beaten on the ground through her double vision. Feeling herself being picked up and carried away, a helmet strapped to her head, as the vibrations of a bike shook through her body.

Another boiling California day, it was almost unbearable. He sipped a cool beer as he stepped out onto the porch to watch her play. She ran through the garden, feeling the cold water droplets land on her skin from the sprinkler, cooling her in the scorching heat, her white sundress clinging to her form.

That night they prepared to go out. Leaning against the door frame, he watched her, sitting perched on the bathroom counter, applying various powders, creams, shadows and liquids to her beautifully flawed skin. Hopping off the counter wearing one of his oversized shirts and fluffy socks, her hair tied into two lose plaits, she bounced over to him.

“Hiya Daddy” she greeted with a grin, laying her head to the side with childlike innocence.

“God you’re so beautiful, little girl” he praised roughly, giving her the validation she adored so much.

She looked up at him, batting her cartoon eyes before throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him into a fiery kiss, as he ran his hands down each line of her perfect physique. Eventually pulling back to run off with a giggle to get dressed, digging through her bag to find an outfit, always wanting to look her best for Happy to show off.

After the party that night, they lay in bed, with her laying on his chest. This was all the heaven he could ever want, feeling her warmth against his body, his senses enveloped by her lilac body lotion. And in his arms, she felt safe, hearing his heart beat, and feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath.

She knew exactly what he did. Who he was, having only known him a month before she first saw him kill a man, seeing the spark in his eye as the gun sounded. On the outside he was as tough as the leather of his SAMCRO kutte, but his soul was as sweet as blood red jam. And compared to her, he was a tattooed angel.

Sitting staring into the bedroom mirror, she recalled the nights she used to gaze into the dirty mirrors of the clubs, bars, and hotels, hating who she saw. Thinking of how when she daydreamed of running away, never thinking she would end up a drunk little Lolita stereotype, sharing the her nights with strange men, so she didn’t have to face midnight alone. But now, she looked in the mirror, and she saw somebody who was spoilt and loved. She believed with every fibre of her body that if it wasn’t for Happy, she would have been dead by now. Everything was absolutely perfect, until it all came crashing down on her.

“Hey there, Gorgeous”

The sound of the voice sent a chill through her body, she knew that voice and had heard it many a night. She turned to face the gruff man with a look of pure terror on her face, met with an unshaven face, protruding stomach, and nicotine yellowed teeth. He had been one of her regulars. Her heart rate quickened and her breath shallowed, as she rushed away to the car.

Tears streamed down her blank face. She’d been so stupid to think that she could leave all that behind, all the feelings that she had been slowly fading away since she had met Happy, suddenly came flooding back. And she was left feeling empty, while at the same time the voices in her head screamed. So she did what she always did to quiet the voices.

After finding her way to a bar in Stockton, she began to drink. Less than an hour later she was eight bottles of Bacardi in and welcomed the familiarly fuzzy feeling, all common sense leaving her body.

Before she knew it she had climbed onto the bar, getting lost in the vibrations of the bass. Slipping the straps of her dress, letting them slide from her shoulders, she heard the applause and jeers of encouragement from the men that now watched her on the bar.

Out of nowhere she was yanked from the bar, feeling herself being thrown over someones shoulder, when she pulled herself up she recognised the neck tattoos, it was Happy. She hadn’t even seen him enter the bar.

When they got back to his house, she sat down on the couch while he stood over her, glaring at her, with a look that could kill twenty men. They both sat their in silence for a solid three minuets, before he started speak, then breaking into a yell. He yelled about everything, how she hadn’t changed, how she never even tried to help herself, how everything she had said to him about wanting to change had been a lie, how she had used him, but the last thing he said broke her.

“You’re nothing but a little whore” he mumbled, turning away, walking out the door with a slam, his Harley tearing down the street.

She sat there in shock, his words stung, breaking apart the last part of her hope that life could ever be better. Dragging her feet to the bedroom she stuffed all her clothes into her bag, before heading out the door, walking up the street, until she reached the bus station.

He was right. She was nothing but a dirty slut. A play thing for rich older men, or anybody with a pretty penny. She had been stupid for thinking that things would ever be different. She had no moral compass. Nothing to point her to right or wrong. Always just living somewhere in between, doing what she had to do. She would never belong to anyone, or anywhere.

Watching the country side race past as she rested her head against the graffiti carved window, she gazed outside at the cloudy sky. Her face cold and emotionless as the bus sped her towards her unknown stop, further away from her last chance of home.

But she prayed to any god that may have existed, that Happy found joy, found salvation. And learned to live life in the way of his namesake.

********************************************************************************************

When Happy pulled up back home, he knew he had fucked up. He hadn’t meant any of it, he loved her. She was his world. His everything. And he knew that what he said was so out of line. As he walked through the door, he noticed a folded piece of paper on the floor, his name written on it in her curly handwriting.

Happy,

I’m sorry to leave, without a goodbye, but the truth is - you were right. I never tried to change, and honestly I don’t think I could.

When I ran, I didn’t know what would happen, where I would end up or who I would meet. That was part of what attracted me to the idea, the freedom of being unattached. I thought that I could just run and eventually I would find somewhere to feel safe and to call home.

And I finally did. With you. Together we had nothing to lose, nothing we desired more than each other, except to just be - a perfect work of art.

My mother always taught me to believe in the kindness of strangers. I never had any faith in those words, until you saved me that night. You found a shattered play thing and took me in. But thats the thing about shattered things, they can never be put back together.

I’m drowning, and I don’t want to take you down with me.

Live life and stay safe xx

By the time he read those last two words, the paper scrunched in his hand as ran frantically to the bedroom to find all her things were missing. Once he’d searched to entire house, he walked into the lounge room, flopping down onto the couch, a dazed look painted across his pained face.

She was gone.

#off to the races #ride #lana del rey #samcro #sons of anarchy #imagine #one shot

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