#The other Al Ghuls: Yes hello Dusan we see you we love you can you please commit a murder now

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 104

 Danny finds himself reincarnating, giving it a try so to say. A new start of sorts, though he knows that Tucker will also be somewhere in the world and Sam will be keeping an eye whenever she’s not working on her uh, internship with Overgrowth. 

 He somehow, despite being in a world of heroes and villains, ends up reincarnating into some sort of assassin cult. Apparently he is keeping the Fenton luck despite a new life. Along with his white hair from his ghost form. Which is understandable with how there’s an ecto-pool in the room over. 

 He’s pretty sure his father is a fruitloop too, maybe. Well, technically he was a fruitloop for a human, but again. Ecto-pool that he was apparently taking dips in. At least this time he has some baby sisters- even if the toddler one keeps trying to stab him. 

 Honestly, feels like home. 

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

crack AU that the al Ghuls are half California valley/crazy stupid rich and half assassin with an...interesting family dynamic. 

Talia sweeps into Bruce's home office and is like "Good morning habibiiiiii. The family is in town and we're going to have brunch tomorrow. I'll pick Damian up at 10, yes?" 

Bruce slowly lowers the morning paper. "You know that's not going to work."

She looks up from examining her nails. "Why not?"

"You have to give me 48 hours notice. That was the deal, Talia, I have full custody."

"Yes, but I gave that to you. As a gift." 

Bruce shakes his head. "I don't trust your family." 

She waves his worry aside. 

"He'll be with me."

He sends her a look. 

She manages to look shamefaced, but only for a moment. "Dearest, habibi, it's just a friendly brunch. We like to have one every six months, just to check in with each other. Forge alliances. Clear the air."

"And who exactly will be there?"

She sits down on his desk, brushing her long dark hair over one shoulder. "You know, just the family. Father, Dusan, Haza, Khulan--"

"Didn't she try to kill you?"

"Who?"

"Khulan."

"That was last week."

"And didn't Dusan die?"

"Yes." At his raised brow, she huffed prettily. "Nyssa brings us back. Ever since Father let her family die in concentration camps, she's been sort of attached to the idea of living family members. Plus," she picked at imaginary lint on his collar, "it really irritates Father." 

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. "This really isn't helping."

"He respects Nyssa the most," she says, placing her purse on the table, "but loves me the most."

Bruce sits back in his chair, looking up at her. "And I suppose you love him best?"

A frown mars her beautiful brow. "No. Well, not exactly. Everyone wants to kill father. Everyone." She grimaced. "He's a madman. We all hate him."

"Then why do you try to kill each other?"

"Because we hate each other."

Bruce crosses his arms. 

"I am not letting my son participate in such toxic activities."

Talia's eyeroll is monumental. "It's not as if we'll be fighting," she protests, "We'll be eating at Caviar Russe, for god's sake."

There is a misstep here that Talia had not calculated, for Bruce suddenly stands and growls, "You are not having brunch in Gotham."

She blinks at him, then smiles slowly. "It was either this or Paris."

He walks out from behind the desk, heading toward the door. "Then go to Paris."

She doesn't move, watching him. "We have to have brunch here because Damian lives here."

"Damian is not going to brunch."

"Then have him come to Paris. He's been plenty of times."

"Damian is not going to brunch." He opens the door. "My son is not going anywhere, at any time, ever, with you and the sad mistake you call a family." 

Talia opens her mouth, but then her eyes crinkle deviously at the sight outside the door. 

"Hello, baby." 

"Hello, mama," comes Damian's young voice from just beyond the threshold. "Were you coming to visit me?" 

"Yes," Talia coos, at the same moment that Bruce snaps "No.” 

Talia stands and stretches out her arms, and Damian attaches himself to her waist. "It's been so long," he murmurs into her $13,000 Gucci dress. 

"Hasn't it," she agrees, gazing up at Bruce with her smug green eyes. "I was just talking to your father about a visit to the family."

"I heard," Damian says. “He said no."

Talia hums sympathetically. 

Bruce holds off on a very long sigh. "Damian, son," he tries, stepping closer to the two of them, "I need to finish speaking with your mother."

Damian's head snaps up. "What, going to refuse my invitations without asking me again?"

"That's not--"

"Just because you have no extended family doesn't mean I don't get to have mine!" 

Talia makes a sound of pride at his defiance. 

Bruce closes his eyes. "I need," he says through gritted teeth, "to speak. with. your. mother." 

Damian meets his eyes and Bruce internally groans, because he can already see this turning into a battle that's going to end in screams and tears. "Don't make me--" he begins, but Damian suddenly pushes himself away from his mother and glowers at him. 

"Fine," he spits, eyes like daggers. "But just know that right now, presently, at this moment, I loathe you entirely." 

Once his stomps have vanished upstairs, Bruce meets Talia's eyes. "I hope you're happy," he says reproachfully. "You've upset him."

She shrugs delicately. "Give him what he wants and he won't have to be upset."

"He doesn't know what he wants, he knows what YOU want."

"Then give me what I want," she says nonchalantly, sweeping up her purse. 

"Not at the risk of Damian's safety."

She rolls her eyes again. "Fine. Be a little fool. Brunch is in Paris then, at 10:30."  

"He won't be coming." 

She smirks. "Very well, habibi." 

And with that, she sails out the door.

‘Great,’ Bruce thinks to himself, watching his ex-wife sashay off the premises and hearing his youngest child throwing things upstairs, ‘Now I'm the bad guy for being the good guy.’

before anyone is like “that's not canon” i know. that's why it says “crack AU” at the top. violators of this will be towed and blocked. 

Anyways, after sending a series of snaps of selfish stupid rich Talia, I decided to capture it in the written form 😅😂

this AU could be. like. an AU in which Damian was never killed. bc yeah.