#Might as well help along this assassin cult for the lols

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 104

 Danny finds himself reincarnating, giving it a try so to say. A new start of sorts, though he knows that Tucker will also be somewhere in the world and Sam will be keeping an eye whenever she’s not working on her uh, internship with Overgrowth. 

 He somehow, despite being in a world of heroes and villains, ends up reincarnating into some sort of assassin cult. Apparently he is keeping the Fenton luck despite a new life. Along with his white hair from his ghost form. Which is understandable with how there’s an ecto-pool in the room over. 

 He’s pretty sure his father is a fruitloop too, maybe. Well, technically he was a fruitloop for a human, but again. Ecto-pool that he was apparently taking dips in. At least this time he has some baby sisters- even if the toddler one keeps trying to stab him. 

 Honestly, feels like home. 

[jikanet-tanaka]

Ideas for stories and such...

I'm a bit overwhelmed with plot bunnies right now, and I think writing them all out is the best way to get 'em all straight. So... here are a few ideas for future fics I'd want to write. I dunno which one(s) I should focus on first...

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla

A Saga Most Ordinary : I have ideas for two more chapters, one about Eivor playing Dungeons and Dragons with the three Good Boys, along with Hytham, Randvi and Tewdwr, and another about her and Valka Staging An Intervention because she thinks Sigurd went and joined some cult because of his new girlfriend (ie Fulke).

Untitled/maybe it’ll just be chapter two of an existing fic, I dunno: A new companion piece/sequel of sorts to ‘Nornir's Curse, Nótt's Counsel’ about Randvi and Valdis just hanging out (on the beach while their respective spouses watch over the young ‘uns) and talking about their (rather similar, really) lives.

Dishonored

Take Your Silver Spoon (Dig Your Grave) : A two-shot about two bastard-born princesses of the Kaldwin line. Part of it is already written, I just need to get off my ass and do something about it lol

You and Me and The Leviathan Makes Three : An AU where Daud survives the events of DoTO, and Billie is stuck trying to find new purpose in her life while teaching a god-turned-boy how to Human and a suicidal old man how to… not be a total wreck of a person . Oh, and the Abbey of the Everyman is falling apart all around them (which makes the Boysider happy, since his two newfound biggest goals in life are 1) to destroy organized religion and 2) to save the whales. Every chapter would be set in a different isle, with titles based on sea shanties.

Dracula

Untitled : A little one-shot about how Drac might have gotten to Mina on the night of October 3rd. Because the details are kinda hazy on that, right?

Final Fantasy XVI

The Tale of the Telamonides : Before the mission to Drake’s Head, Mid shows up to the Hideout to Bring Chaos and Shenanigans to everyone’s live. Because I was sad that we never did see her interact with Cid.

Gravity Falls

Dungeons and Dummies : …I need to finish this you guys, I already have it all planned out. I feel weirdly anxious about this story, mostly because I don’t happen to have the whole of the rules of D&D stamped in my brain (shocking, I know). It’s like I’m afraid I’ll have someone go, ‘hey, that’s not how it goes in the Player Handbook, page so-and-so blah blah blah ’ so I don’t even try, you know?? It’s a weird thing.

The Awesome Mixtape of the Apocalypse: A story where Dipper and Mabel’s parents join both sets of twins on a roadtrip to Gravity Falls. The concept would be that Mabel made a mixtape with songs for everyone in her family (so for example Ford definitely gets weird prog rock like this, listen my dad was a happier, most well-adjusted Ford, and that was his shit, car trips in my family were trippy), with each character represented by a particular musical style (the Pines mom’s got punk ska like Reel Big Fish and Streetlight Manifesto lol…) and each chapter corresponding to one song. I got every big story beat and character moment planned out, I just… need to get off my ass and write, I guess.

Horizon Zero Dawn/Forbidden West

Untitled : Aka Aloy watches Varl and Zo together, gets confused/frustrated, and shares a convo with Erend that helps her figure out she’s asexual. Sweet!

Untitled Rost and Ersa fic : Rost and Ersa, as ghosts, hang around Aloy and Erend for the events of the first game (and have a mini ship war about the merits of Ereloy as a couple). Also known as ‘Rost Gets Another Grumpy Daughter Because These Are Sure Fun To Collect Or Something’.

Mass Effect

Untitled : Just a little Shakarian ficlet about Shepard listening to Thane’s story about how he met his wife after the events in Garrus’ loyalty mission and her being like, oh, oh boy, oh no.

Radiant Historia

Will You Learn to Love (Without Consuming): A little one-shot set in the Apocrypha ‘verse which is not compliant with the canon shown in Perfect Chronology. Basically my take on who became the big Mana Monster causing the desertification (and why he’s a foil to both Heiss and the Conuts Guy).

Déjà Vécu : A one-short about Ernst and Heinrich (and, by association, Stocke and Heiss) because I guess that’s what I always write about in this damn fandom.

This Sweet Corrupting Reality : Basically the only parallel history I would have liked to see in Perfect Chronology, that is, Stocke wakes up and realizes he is now King Ernst of Granorg.

[1800duckhotline]

phoebe: nurse. outsider to the ghorkon village. russian. comes from the city similarly to daniil. her vibes are absolutely rancid but she has this air that makes you feel like that if you wrong her you'll have a target on your back (and you wouldn't be entirely wrong). very irreverent to people in power which includes vlad I and II and the other bitches that govern the different factions, but is especially vile towards daniil like she doesn't even try hiding it. however seems to respect clara and artemy, as well as most children would think of her as actually pretty nice. she would be mostly seen around where the stamatins seem to be (she doesn't bug them and they don't bug her back) - tisha: assassin. native to the ghorkon village. also horrid rancid vibes. he was born there and jumps in and out of the city quite frequently because of his... "interesting" occupation. he probably knows bad grief pretty well considering tisha is essentially a thug who's very good at murdering unsuspected. he avoids interacting directly with the people in charge. proooobably would meddle better with artemy out of all the 3 healers (though i think artemy would Not like him lmao). he absolutely does drugs. in the story it would come to surface some way or another that he has done services for phoebe in the past and that he might be like, actually boycrushing on her, even if he's completely aware she is just using him. (im not done holdawn)

elaine: phoebe's "patient". elaine is an outsider and probably comes from germany, though it is uncertain. first of all: she loves messing around wth all of the 3 healers - though she is especially mean to clara because elaine is quite literally a bully. she's about 19-20 and phoebe isn't possessive of her but elaine more or less always would ask help to get away from her LMAO - would be the first one to explicitly mention that phoebe's life story is actually hella sketchy (that she was part of a cult as a young child) and that her double-facedness between patients and not-patients is not that surprising as she has an ego the size of the polyhedron (ha ha) and thinks of herself as some kind of god. not her though, elaine doesn't! but she likes testing people's patience. anyway, elaine would probably like hanging out with the younger characters. she actually would frequent the theatre pretty often too.

salice: so here's the thing what the fuck would a possibly not entirely normal human would fucking do in a vaguely-timed russian setting, especially what is an ITALIAN doing here of all places, well i will tell you she's just here because i want her to be. and because she is a lawyer and probably works for the saburovs since these fucking people have no idea how the law actually works. to be fair she's also here because she is in fact a necromancer and she finds it fun to meddle with corpses while no one is watching, to practice her magic and to try and sort of see what the fuck the sand plague is about. she is essentially immune to it, though it seems there's another kind of sickness that's damaged her enough for her to need a mask to cover the side of her face! who knows what her deal is... anyway despite being a lawyer , she does not care about adhering to the law, there's another big-egoed bitch in town. probably would actually get along with daniil ? lmao? i can see it. she is very condescending towards most people though and That will come back to bite her in the ass

phoebe's isnt elaborate yet bc she was in fact part of a cult that revolved around flies while she was young, though she didnt participate by choice, and because of the inhumane sacrifices they made she decided to poison & kill all of them, which gave phobe a god complex and a survivors guilt simultaneously at the same time. though she does not really regret killing them actually LOL. shes not rly an "angel of death" type of nurse, she loves helping people back to health - especially elderly and children. bc they remind her of her grandma and herself when she was little (she has a very idealized image of her grandma who was the one that put her in the cult). but yeah, idk hwo to integrate that smoothly since its not rly relevant to the story - she's mostly in the ghorkon city initially just because she is kind of going around the continent with elaine, trying to find a "cure" for her, even if elaine doesn't rly need a cure as much as she needs therapy, but they're then both stuck in the ghorkon city bc of the sand plague outbreak. and boy it is a doozy

[qhostqizmo]

Questionnaire - Essie

I got bored and filled this out

- - - - - - - - - -

1) Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

No; Essätha is the eldest of four, and does not know her other siblings. The closest sibling in age range to her is in their early twenties, about a decade’s age gap. The closest sibling-like relations she has is with a Tiefling she grew up with back home, who is roughly 5(?) or more years older than her.

2) What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Hepsiba was supermom and idol to Essie. Essie adored, and still adores, her mom. Hepsiba displayed a constant generous, open-minded, warm attitude that helped to shape a lot of Essie’s values. They got along wonderfully, and even as a youngster Ess’ showed a lot of respect and willingness to listen to her mothers words of wisdom.

3) What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

The same as it was as a child as it is now: nonexistent. In Essätha’s heart however, there is a lot of bitterness towards a man who left her and her ailing mother behind, also leaving her to learn little to nothing about him save through stories.

4) Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Oh, plenty. The treatment of her and others like her (Solace, her mother, non-humans automatically defined as ‘evil’ races), the death of her mother, deaths in general (sometimes that she blames on herself), so on. I’m sure some party members have a vague understanding her distance and seclusion is branched off of bad treatment due to her race, for instance. Some folks; like Sol and Kraw, could probably identify quite a few of Essie’s ‘flaws’ and where they steam from. Amon is beginning to learn more and more about some of her ‘quirks’ too.

5) On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Lint, spare coins not put in her coin purse, a Green Bean, maybe something sharp and pointy that could be used for lock-picking or stabbing someone’s hand lol. Spare hair ribbon probably too.

6) Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

👀

7) Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Huehuehue… Pre-campaign I think Ess’ had more dreams centered around the loss of her mom and people hunting her and/or attacking her, belittling her, blaming her for all the wrong in the world. Some were personal, based off people she ‘failed’, killed, or feel she killed/wronged. Now I’m sure when she has a night terror it’s probably geared more towards the Raven Lord, Alexis’ and the wolves, the assassins breaking in, seeing her party members hurt/troubled, seeing the hurt and fear in Amon’s gaze, seeing him jailed, imagining all the things that could go wrong and losing m’lord… >:3c You know. Normal Nightmare Stuff nothing to be Concerned about.

8) Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I’m going to change ‘gun’ to ‘bow’ becuz fantasy. Ess’ is trained in both a regular bow and a crossbow. Her first ever bow-related target outside of hitting a fucking tree was killing a deer, per Kraw’s orders. Lots of tears shed over the damn deer. Lots of tearshed over learning to hunt in general rip my baby.

9) Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Pretty much the same. Money is probably more readily available in Essätha’s life. Pre-campaign likely because of the occasional pick-pocketing. Now becuz she gets paid for kicking butt. Keep it up girl.

10) Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Situational based. Weirdly the less you know her, the more exposed Ess’ is willing to be, because, hey, when are you going to see her again? She might be nervous or edgy in crowds but otherwise w/e man. A lil more skin sometimes gets the gurl you know what I’m sayin’…. The more acquainted she is with someone, the more she fears ridicule, staring, judgment, and the more she wants to hide herself. Give her lots of time to gain confidence, and build trust, and she’d probably be okay being naked around you… so long as you aren’t obviously oogling her. Unless you’ve ahem, earned that level of faith from her where she wants your eyes on her.

11) In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

I would say there’s four instances that stand out the most. One, the first night alone as a toddler after her mother passed away. Two, her first murder, in which she thought she was going to die therefore killed in self-defense. Three, learning that the Raven Lord is probably some kind of god or demi-god being seeing how they killed the Master Arcanist. And four… ‘Not him. You can’t take him.’ …Use your imagination.

12) In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

As a babe, listening to mom sing her to sleep… and at night, in Amon’s arms, when all hope feels lost and then they snuggle up and it just… it’s okay. They can deal with it tomorrow, one step at a time.

13) Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

No. She’s a lady of course not asdjgakl -

14) Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I’m gonna say faces, she seems more ‘creative inclined’ than ‘analytic inclined’.

15) Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Yes! But less so then she thinks. Due to a life of lacking these things, Essätha thinks owning lots of fancy, expensive things will fill a void inside her. She also believes having money and a big house will give her a sign she’s ‘made it’; that she’s secure, that she’s above what everyone says about her… At the same time, fearing it, because of the additional ridicule it may bring (“ah, a Yuan-Ti Pureblood with riches and power?? Must be after Something.”)

16) Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness. It’s quite literally her dream. Sadly as stated above, she grew up thinking happiness was linked to the things you own but mm… she may be learning differently…

17) What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Mr. Hiss!! It was a homemade stuffed snake toy; couldn’t be more than a couple inches made of spare materials her mom had, and button eyes. She played with that thing till it was limp of stuffing, soiled, and raggedy but sadly a bratty kid tossed it into the town’s river so… no more Mr. Hiss. :( She’d have kept that toy all her life otherwise because it was so precious to her.

18) Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition. Because you can be ambitious to do a lot of things; become wiser, become stronger, become kinder. Being wise is cool, but having the drive to become more is sexy.

19) What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

I’d say an inability to trust or commit. In terms of romantic relationships, she’s never held a significant one; mostly one-night stands or brief flings for a while before moving on; never wanted anything more than that. In terms of making friends, oh yeah. Being unwilling to open up or fully engage herself into the relationship has made people weary of her, her motives, and in turn close off from her. If you’re too scared to meet others half-way, eventually they give up on you.

20) In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

In every way; looks, intelligence, status, etc. Mostly she does this as a way to degrade herself. ‘Oh she’s beautiful, and no awkward scaly patches’. ‘I shouldn’t have bothered speaking up, they clearly knows more on this subject.’ ‘Whoop look at the poor girl in rags compared to these guys Yikes-’. When she’s feeling Snobby and Righteous she might do it for the sake of validating her stance; such as being Right and making someone look stupid so she can gloat and grin smugly at them. More often then not though, she compares herself to make herself feel Worse.

21) If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Essätha is the Absol pokemon. If bad things occur, it is she who brought the rain, the drought, the heartache, the doubt, the misery. She’s a magnet for bad things and bad omens. It’s somehow her fault; something she said, or did, or a past mistake came back to haunt her and she screwed up, again.

22) What does your character like in other people?

Ooof, lol, well kind, gentle souls. People who have the ability to grow. Natural nurturers. Those who can be strong for others. Those strong in general; solid, comforting, in the ways that matter. Non-prejudice. Physically she’s got varied tastes; from thick and juicy to lean and swift.

23) What does your character dislike in other people?

Cruelty, judgment, those who take advantage of others, aka ugly on the inside. Physically she’s not into unhygienic individuals, doesn’t typically go for super scrawny or so many muscles they look like they’re in a constant flex.

24) How quick is your character to trust someone else?

To put it simply, given the chance, no one in the Hand of Jubata/Noisy Bastards would have found out she’s a Yuan-Ti until a super-necessary moment; or years later, if ever. She’s always hesitant to put trust into others. But she wants to believe the best outta people so if it comes down to basic trust and not trusting someone with secrets about her, she might be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt (unless she gets a Bad Insight off them).

25) How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Pre-campaign she was just edgy and distrustful. Now during campaign, anyone could be part of those Whispered Shadow cult, so she suspects 50% of this continent at least is out to murder them. If she’s close with the individual, she’s more likely to deny it depending on likability-level. For example, if we found out Barnabus was part of this deranged group, she’d outright be like, “this information is false that sweet man??? I do not think so. You are Wrong.”

26) How does your character behave around children?

Essie loves kids. How she acts depends on their personality; she’s always careful, and soft, and endearing but if they’re shy, she understands they might want more space. If they’re eager and active, she’s even more bubbly and willing to play with them. Mom Genes(TM).

27) How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Time to talk her way out of this shit and either help this person learn to amend their lives or talk them down. If you’re clearly a bad person, or she can’t change you’re mind, she’s willing to whoop your ass. Rather avoid it if possible though unless you’re a truly bad person.

28) How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

*gestures @ the campaign* dis bitch has tried or talked the group out of so many fights so??? Pretty slow.

29) What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

I don’t think Essie had a ‘dream job’; she probably just wanted stability, some place to call her own, happiness, simplicity, life to be ‘normal’. That dream... really has not been achieved.

30) What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Lack of hygiene. Certain foods probs like liver and onions. Rotted corpses obviously. Chewing with mouth open. Idk, things normally others find gross?

31) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

She’s laying in a large, soft bed with oversized pillows and a dense, warm comforter draped over her. There’s arms wrapped around her. The blanket smells familiar; like leather and pine and a hint of rosewater. She wiggles around in the sheets; can feel another body shift as well to get in a better spot. There’s warm breath on the back of her neck, and a solid shape to her back keeping her warm. It’s safe here. Goosebumps race up her arms. She thinks she’ll take a nap. She can feel the calluses on fingers tracing over the back of her hand, then her palm, until they find the spaces between her own. It’s amazing how beautiful and calm the world can be. Time seems to stop here. Everything will be okay.

32) Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

She is herself but not herself. She can pick up more acutely the ever; the scents, the vibrations in the air, it’s more intense. She can taste the fear in the air; the hate, the disgust. Her movements are jerky; slithering, the scales on her body a different texture moving over dirt and grass. They are judging her. They are sickened. She can see the look in their eyes, and she is exposed. She is a disgusting creature. The only thing to belittle herself more is to change back; naked, small. They know. They all know. She can’t imagine the way he’s looking at her; too scared to check and see. He would never look at her the same.

33) In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

I feel it really depends on what she’s being criticized for. I want to say in most cases she’s probably embarrassed and/or humiliated, but willing to listen. She may openly self-deprecate and still request they express how she can do better. I feel she mostly gets defensive around people she doesn’t respect and whose criticism then wouldn’t matter; or around topics she feels she knows more about (or definitely knows more about) and she’s offended they suggest she does not.

34) Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

If there’s no ‘time crunch’, she may try the same method a second time before moving on to a different tactic. If it’s a panicked or life-risked situation, and the first method doesn’t work, immediately move on to idea two.

35) How does your character behave around people they like?

Bubbly, excitable, warm and affectionate. She can be stubborn and grumpy still, but for the most part she tends to wear her heart more openly and be more wild and teasing.

36) How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Closed up, silent-treatment, narrowed eyes, huffy, clipped phrases, crude, hissy. Typically she’s a bit bitchy and waiting for an out to get away from you.

37) Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Considering she has little status at the moment, probably her honor.

38) Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Essätha removes problems/threats… even if that problem/threat is herself.

39) Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

This is such a were-creature questions HEH uhh, I would not doubt Essie has been bitten by an animal before. Largely she probably forgives the critter and its species. It’s probably her own fault she got bitten after all and she realizes that.

40) How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Respect! If she sees you treatin’ a service job employee like trash you’re garbage to her. Those are hard working people trying to make a living whomst the fuck are you?

41) Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Pardon my hyena laughter but, Essätha doesn’t feel like she deserves much of anything. She certainly hasn’t earned to have what she wants. Maybe in time she’ll grow up a bit and learn it’s okay to have things; material or abstract, without feeling guilty or burdened. I’m sure at that time she’d feel she must earn it first.

42) Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

*stares @ Kraw, Abernathy, Barnabus, etc* She seems to pick up plenty of Those.

43) Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Mmm, I’m sure she’s temporarily looked after a younger person or taught someone here or there, yeah. Not for a significant span of time (not to say she probably hasn’t left a positive impact on others that haven’t forgotten her though).

44) How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Oh ho ho ho~ I don’t think Ess’ has said that phrase to more than two people her whole life. It’s definitely not something she could say without meaning to. I can imagine her trying to say it to persuade someone to do something she wants but she just stands there, tongue-tied, unable to do so. It’s just three words, but it’s three very powerful words that can do a lot of good or evil. She wouldn’t want to abuse them or, make people lose faith in them (likeshehascoughs). She doesn’t want people to conceive her as a liar for misusing it before. She wants to be able to say it with heart, conviction, and certainty to someone she truly cares for… if she could ever work up the courage to do so.

45) What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

I’ll admit: the afterlife isn’t probably something Essie thinks of often. I’d have to say believes in a heavenly ream, and hopes it will welcome her. I do believe she’s scared though because of her race, or any blemishes in her life she’s caused, that she fears she’s already got a one way ticket to hell.

[noddytheornithopod]

So I’m in chapter 3 and WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NOW A CULT???

So... what’s up with the meteors? How does this relate to everything? Seriously, if this ties to my tragedy theory then what even is this? Did Kazuichi engineer meteors or something to hit the Earth??? Also... translators, why the fuck did you need to use “invalid” to mean disabled people? That’s pretty fucking ableist. Even if the equivalent was still in Japanese (which is still BS of course, ableism should never be tolerated, don’t make me go Monodam on you)

Okay so everyone’s now suspicious of Maki, but Kaito wants to see the best in everyone so he believes that there’s more to her than just being an assassin.

Holy shit, so Monodam not only killed his fellow Monokubs, but now he launches a coup and disposes Monokuma from running things. Now Monokuma is just a silent husk of his former self. :v Honestly it’s intriguing but also hilarious. Monodam wants everyone to just get along, but he’s now forcing it. Poor guy was obviously treated like shit by the others (especially Monokid of course), so he clearly wants revenge and thus is on his power trip. He almost sounds like he doesn’t want the killing to continue, but I can’t tell TBH. To you I say... Monodam is still best Monokub.

Tsumugi... you’re rude to Gonta for saying he’s suddenly a coward and you make a comment about scary asylums full of “lunatics”... don’t test me young lady, you already made perverted comments, don’t push it.

Lol, the empty rooms have the ghosts of Monokuma and the dead Monokubs.

Okay, Kiyo seems like he’s orgasming at the stuff in the anthropology lab. Also his threat to Kokichi was amazing. But yeah, that was fun. Also wow, stuff talking about communicating with the dead, that’s creepy... and Shuichi even has a brief moment of “well I WOULD like to talk to Kaede”.

Angie’s lab was I guess a thing. I’m sure the locking will come to play in the murder. Oddly not much to say here, unlike about Miss Yonaga herself as you’ll see...

Okay this fourth floor in general is pretty creepy, but in a cool way (not like a CERTAIN SOMEONE I’ll get to). The computer was something, IDK what that was about, though I guess the “new world” aspect does sound like the Neo-World. Wonder what the heck this is gonna mean in the future.

So Tenko has a lab now, and she can train there, cool. Also wow, she got real for a second.

Okay so... what the fuck was that Miu and Keebo scene? Like yeah it seems like Miu was cleaning Keebo, but they were also clearly attracted to each other. It almost looked like an actual sex scene (or was it actually one?)???

So the memory flashlight only shows that weird funeral we saw in chapter 2, but now with everyone instead of just Kaede. From what I’m guessing, the whole “erasing their memories to live normal lives” thing required them all to fake their deaths and that’s what the funeral is about. IDK why they’re all together, were they all a class before? Were they just remaining Ultimates? Did they all fake their deaths in the same event? Of course, this could be more deception too...

Okay wow, Kaito is really concerned about Maki. He brings her out to train with him and Shuichi, and even though she resists for a bit, she decides to give in. She doesn’t stay around for long, but it’s something.

Okay so the morning... we still get a motive, though is this now all to get along given Monodam is in control? Or are we still doing the killing game? Anyway... this motive claims to allow resurrection of the dead, specifically one of their four classmates.

Okay so... ANGIE WHAT THE FUCK? When I noticed Tsumugi mention Atua I got suspicious, but then Keebo mentioned Atua too... and then we see fucking Tenko has joined them too. Angie then seduces Gonta with her shit and welp. Now half of the class has been brainwashed into Angie’s “student council” (read: Atua cult). Tsumugi, you’re no longer fave, you’re cancelled for being an Angie puppet! :v

So it seems like Angie seduced them all. Gonta is simple and believes whatever is told to him, Himiko needed someone to look up to, Tsumugi feels insecure and plain so a “higher purpose” probably is seductive sounding, Keebo sounded jealous that Miu was with the New World computer more than him so Angie used that to convince him that authoritarianism was best for stability. Tenko I’m not so sure about, but it feels like she wanted to be with Himiko so gave in. And of course, they’re all trapped in the school so Angie’s alternative idea might be appealing.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually like Kokichi a lot more now. I’ll take the annoying prick over the creepy cult! Obviously as a liar he sees through Angie’s BS. As annoying as he can be, he certainly knows his shit and of course is fun to try and deduct what he’s up to. Kiyo as an anthropologist would also know how cults work and see their BS. Miu is too sciencey, and you could argue Kaito is too but for him it also becomes more about the rampant authoritarianism they bring now as well as him not wanting to give up and truly survive (which Kaede also helped inspire in him). Maki and Shuichi also feel the same (as do the others, Kaito is just really strong in his love of freedom), but Shuichi also feels indebted to Kaede to get everyone out alive.

I also tried a free time with Kokichi, but I fucked it up. I guess Shuichi did briefly learn a bit about how people brainwash others though. :v

Because I hate myself, I saw the goddamn man’s fantasy scene. It becomes even more uncomfortable when you realise this is Angie’s organising. Monokuma showing up was funny though.

Kaito feels really uneasy, I’m not sure if it’s just the cult stuff or also the idea of resurrecting the dead. Maybe he wants to resurrect Kaede, and despite how scary and impossible he finds the idea he can’t get the idea out of his head?

So because Tsumugi is cancelled, I am now hanging out with my weird anthropology buddy Kiyo. His free times are still pretty interesting with the anthropology stuff, though him mentioning his sister and how she inspired him was a nice backstory. Also if she’s only friends with girls, is that a part of why he makes himself look and act so effeminate?

Kaito doesn’t even go out to train at night. I’m worried about him. Maki actually comes with Shuichi and they just do it together themselves. From the sounds of it, Maki didn’t choose to become an assassin, but was made to be one, and now feels detached from her humanity as a result. It’s also why she’s so good at pushups, lol.

Okay wow, the council stopping Maki was really creepy. As if the prejudice wasn’t enough towards her, Angie’s authoritarian streak now forbids anyone going out at night. If she was annoying before, I now hate her.

Well the morning was really creepy. The student council announces their preparations for resurrection, and it sounds like they’re even considering human sacrifices. Yeah, we’re getting pretty out there.

So the Monokubs bring a memory light to try and create some peace... but Angie destroys it. Of course her minions agree with her because their council is organised so that Atua decides everything... and as point it out, it just means Angie is running everything. Kaito is mega pissed off (also because the exit hole is blocked off, but this is the last straw), and honestly I feel him.

Monodam, Angie stopped them from getting along by destroying the flashlight. I’m just saying, you COULD punish her, maybe whip out the Exisals or something... YES I WANT ANGIE TO DIE, SHE’S REACHED A POSITION ONLY TERUTERU HAS: “I hate you with all my guts and I hope you die.”

I’m up to the free times now, but gosh, things were so intense I had to stop. Cults and brainwashing like this really get under my skin. Like, if Angie were simply a creepy cult leader, I wouldn’t hate her as much... but she’s clearly Polynesian. So basically: not only do we have a racial stereotype of someone who acts simple and naively kind and a whole host of other Polynesian and Indigenous stereotypes... but now she’s deceptive and untrustworthy, sucking people into her cult to grow power for herself. Seriously, fuck Angie, and fuck her creators for thinking it’s acceptable to have your resident foreigner for the game be a Polynesian who’s weird, primitive and now obsessively religious to the point of authoritarianism and brutality.

Okay, so... where will things go from here? I’m not even sure at this rate. Angie is obviously going to play a central role in the next case. Whether she’s murdered or is the murder is a question though, though if you look at Mikan revealing she had Despair Disease and remembered her Despair self and Celeste being found out as Taeko Yasuhiro, I won’t be surprised if Angie is the killer. It’s arguably predictable, but it’s satisfying too. :V Because I mean, Angie is clearly using the Atua religion as a means to gain power for herself, and in the first investigation Kaede when talking to her notes that her religion sounds like some kind of scam, I forget the exact lines but I think it mentioned guys on the internet too? So basically: Angie’s a hack and she’s gonna be exposed.

That being said, Angie WOULD be predictable as the killer like I said. I COULD see Kaito snapping and killing her as a self sacrifice on his behalf just to remind everyone of what Kaede wanted and that giving up isn’t living (wow, that’s like Makoto at the end of the first game... but with dying).

So the third chapter is always the double murder one... but worst case scenario: we get a Jonestown massacre situation. Not just two murders, but as many as five: I’d be surprised if we went that far, but the worst case scenario is Angie ordering her followers to kill themselves for the resurrection ritual to work. Of course, if they’re not ruled as suicides then that’s a problem - I’m PRETTY sure the two or more rule was in it, but I admit I’m not entirely sure, so maybe there’s leeway. Regardless, we’re in dangerous waters. I mean, Angie DID mention human sacrifice as a possibility. Maybe Angie could also order the defiant ones to be killed because they’re disturbing the peace (in other words, she makes the others kill FOR her), I mean this IS a clear allegory for the dogma of organised religion and even authoritarianism in general. It’s literally a cult.

Also like the second game, people’s minds are being fucked with in the third chapter, it’s just now someone instead of something. :v

So... what if the whole resurrecting the dead thing is just bullshit? What if it’s just to see how far someone would go to do this, even if it means killing someone? And of course this would be a failure of getting along, so Monodam will be mega pissed off, and the blackened failed the test.

That being said, what if the resurrection IS real? Obviously there will be a weird explanation for it (maybe the New World computer ties to it, especially if it’s a Neo-World thing?), but Rantaro being back would obviously be a big deal. That being said, what if instead of him it’s Kaede who comes back? Angie dismissed her as a murderer, but Kaede just got her target wrong and fucked up. And I mean, I’m sure Shuichi and Kaito would be happy to see her at least (provided they can believe she’s really back).

Angie and Monodam share interesting parallels. They claim to want the same thing, but their methods are different. Monodam is taking control through fear, while Angie brainwashes people into following her with promises of love and peace. That being said, Monodam, please take care of Angie. She IS the core of why they’re not getting along. ;P

[dramarising-replacement]

What we REALLY learned from BotE lore

I know I’m about a month too late for this but…. (Dadmin feel free to put a keep reading here if you think it’s too long)

Jailbreak- -Tundra??? Skydancer??? Eating fish??????? There’s like 6 different plant food granola ration items that would keep just fine??? -Either the breed diets are more of a preference or the writers just forgot their own lore, I’m inclined towards the second but the first is a plausible in-universe plot bandaid

-Dragons have surnames and with little exception they’re all warrior cats adjectivenoun shit. Because of course they are.

-Feathers can be unusually thick, apparently -Isolated beastclans unaware of/apathetic to the uprising are a thing -Most of the icefield is too dangerous to fly in -The fortress of ends is far from the only prison location -New location: Dripcave dregs -Icefield’s government so far seems to consist entirely of the (very harsh) prison system, so i guess the southern icefield is ice age america -[Racial tensions intensify] -Dragon money is accepted by at least some beastclans -Racial tensions not helped by language barrier -Rations stashed at key points along the mountains -Tundras become amnesic when stressed -Who/What the wardens are does not seem to be common knowledge -Oh hey look a new canon breed for one of the flights that only has one breed which isn’t very popular, which has unique lore, and a design that perfectly matches with many people’s wishes for “Something like a tundra but fiercer”, that i guarantee will be eternally left right next to couriers as “Perfectly good breeds that will never be implemented and the admins will never even tell us why” -They don’t seem to know much about other breeds -Like genders, for example -They also might be psychic -May or may not be ageless on top of that -Tundras are descended from them, which means at some point in the distant past some left for the surface and stayed there, which means these things are perfectly capable of joining surface society again -It seems a lot of the deities have disappointing giant first children that they want to hide/kill to bury their shame Ten Eyes- -New location: The Oculus of the Eleven -Like if the UN was also a wizard council -So far implied there haven’t been any major interflight wars for at least a few generations -Leylines are Serious Business™ -SMARK -SMARK -Mirror pack instincts are very strong -Dragons supposedly don’t have computers, but the leyline monitor things sound an awful lot like computers -Crystalspine mountains grow in response to ambient magic -Oculus seems to have been anticipating eventual sabotage of some variety for a long time -Age discrimination -Not only are dragon/beastclan racial tensions insanely high, but racial tensions between flights and breeds seem to be immense as well -Mirrors revert to base aggressive animal instincts when stressed -Even if they act like they’re friends they all actually hate eachother and will totally throw eachother under the buss at the first sign of trouble -Dragons know about the two arcane apocalypses(the first of which wasn’t technically the arcanist’s fault because he wasn’t fucking born yet but that’s a rant for a different time) -Mirrors can be blinded by enough heat -Uuuh -Uuummm -What, you wanted useful bits on what it’s actually like in arcane in general? Fuck you, have this rushed and thinly-veiled segway into lightning’s bit that takes place entirely inside an isolated dragon UN base with no elaboration on the outside world Temper, Temper- -Fire has kind of an Industrial revolution/great depression theme going on -Funding cutbacks -Railways confirmed -Imported materials confirmed -Racism again -Economic class divide -Angry coatls puff their feathers -Fire treats their working class like shit, and apparently has been for a very long time -Vocal Accents confirmed -I have no idea why Haemil isn’t overwhelmed by heat signatures all the time if just a few angry people was enough to blind Beatrix -Worker’s guilds are a thing. We have no idea how they work, but they’re a thing, and they have some amount of power. -Only the blacksmiths can withstand the great furnace -Volcano heartshaft -Dragons have explored at least as far down as the upper mantle -“Forgemasters” who seem to be greedy slavedriver corporate aristocrat types -Forgemaster council of some sort exists, and apparently is the closest there is to a central government -There’s a main cavern where the great furnace’s blacksmiths work and it has a big-ass gate on it -Fire tundras crop their fur and still get burned anyway -Ashfall wastes are the main exporters of tools and weapons -So, who wants to break the news to Por and Ventik that they literally cannot physically speak to eachother? -I suppose you could make the excuse that one of the others is translating, but i think they just forgot their own lore again. -Ashfall provides the tempest spire with bolts, rivets, and sheet metal -Arftificial scarcity to drive up demand is a thing in sornieth’s economy -Also, international economy is a thing -Apprenticeship is a thing -Giant bellows in the great furnace, operated by big tattooed imps who may or may not be exaltees -Non-arcane archmages -Other flights are required to construct sanctums whenever concentrations of magic are found -The Oculus doesn’t have anywhere near as much power across sornieth as it thinks it does-their efforts are easily foiled pretty much whenever the local government feels like it -They don’t seem to be very well-respected or even liked anywhere either -Magically-charged magma (and presumably other things) exist, and have useful scientific properties -Government’s first reaction to discovery of new resources/tech is to use it as an excuse to lay off most of their already-struggling workforce -Government cover-ups are also totally a thing -Apparently, tundras rarely frown -Parties of blacksmiths are sent to chart any caves discovered -Steel crates -New location: Flintlock Fumaroles -Professions are often handed down through families for generations -Individual clans are capable enough of reliable communication for a worker’s strike of this magnitude to be assembled in only days. -Flamecaller isn’t really present, and has fallen almost entirely into legend -You don’t have to be a skydancer to sense high levels of magic -There’s another volcano now, apparently even bigger and badder than the great furnace -Everyone’s been fired(lol), There’s a worker’s revolution going on, and there’s a whole new fucking island, all of which i’m sure will never be spoken of again. -If you claim it they will come A New Direction- -Ashfall wastes and Scarred wasteland are visible from the plateau -Dis place high yall -Dragons have trouble flying in stagnant air -Dragons sometimes rob couriers -Couriers run in an awkward waddle -The twisting crescendo is sentient, capable of appearing as a dragon, and, apparently, female -The windsinger can send magic statues in the mail or something idk i’m not sure anyone entirely knows what’s going on there -Windmills confirmed -That’s it -This one’s kinda simple -What, you wanted more useful detail on what life in the plateau is like? Fuck you, have this folk tale-sounding glorified space whale aesop Kindred Crossing- -At some point in the past, light and shadow made a failed attempt at an alliance that involved building portals that seem to only be able to activate during a lunar eclipse with the correct keystone like some lonely mountain shit(At least if admin comments on the forums are to be trusted) -Apparently the technology to make said portals was lost and the incident was forgotten about -Somehow this created the hewn city by bleeding the two together. Why shadow doesn’t have an unusually light-y area near the portal, i don’t know. -New location: thorndark altar, for all your cliche cultist needs -Lots of shadow pool and moon-related religious stuff -Creepy cult clans confirmed -Shadow goo smells like shit -Shadow goo puts out feeding tendrils -Awful mothers confirmed -Action figures confirmed -Whiny edgy teenagers confirmed -Some sect of shadow religion that multiple clans apparently follow involves elders in robes passing around candles with purple flames, creepy cultist chanting, and throwing prized possessions into the goo -Presumably this “sacrificing prized possessions” thing is not an isolated practice -“Voidling” seems to be an insult or derogatory title of some sort, in other news awful mother is awful. Something tells me her son being such a screwed-up asshole isn’t entirely his own fault. -“It’s not like he’ll remember it anyway”- That’s racist -The descriptive phrase “Dark hovels” is telling. Make of it what you will. -Lots of crazy ancient shit like this is absolutely hidden under pools and growth throughout the tangled wood -There are specialists trying to map the hewn city -I can’t help but feel like the specific wording of the description “A primitive hook-shaped runestone” says a little bit and the light flight’s attitude -Shadow flight has assassins specifically for the purpose of ruining light scholar’s work Ancient Fascinations- -Preservation guild is a thing, and presumably other guilds of similar function are too -Archeology confirmed -Most places still rely on torches and candles for light -Secretaries are a thing, which also means all the things that necessitate secretaries exist -Some weird monsters or some shit like that have popped into existence under dragonhome, and apparently are turning people into fossils or something -The things in question looks sort of like beastclans. Maybe undead second age creatures? -Government coverups: Archeology guild edition -Organizations take funding from wealthy sponsors -Imperials can be just as self-important as pearlcatchers -A very ominous, mysterious, wealthy, anonymous organization that if fiction has taught me anything can’t be up to any good -Even in fantasy dragon land you can acquire just about any historical artifact for your private collection by throwing enough money at it -What, you wanted more on what dragonhome is like for the average dragon? Fuck you, here’s a boring ametuer SCP story taking place entirely in an isolated archeology site. Workplace Hazards- -Lightning farm has monitoring equipment -Uhhh -Ummmmmm -Flying in storm bad -Shock switch is a real thing…? Maybe…? -Computers don’t exist yet, everyone still uses papers -… Even though that lightning farm monitoring equipment from just a few lines ago sounded an awful lot like a computer -Errrrrrr -Electrical engineer guild…..? -The shifting expanse does in fact have money -Cactus tea? Cactus fucking tea? -Aaaaaahhhh…? -Whelp lightning has effectively just withdrawn from the dragon un, secretly declared war on them, and pissed on their embassy just for good measure. you know, just in case the whole “Antithesis of all magic and nature, making them effectively the closest there is to a shade faction” thing wasn’t enough. -Unless the lore in the next one does a complete 180 and it turns out this is fine somehow or it’s because of a secret conspiracy unrelated to the flight or something, lightning is now likely THE designated antagonist faction and enemies with the entire world -Oh nooo sciency scientists with no morals are gonna destroy the world again with their scientific hubris!1!1! No bad things would ever happen if those darned scientists would just stop messing with nature and poking around where they don’t belong!1!! -Yeah, salary cycle.. That’s certainly……. A word……. That probably means something…… Which is never explained…. -Scientific scientists destroy non-sciency things because of science reasons, Next up our special guest Vulcan with “Emotion is illogical and must be destroyed” -Have fun being the designated wholly evil faction, nerds. Technology eats your soul. -What, you wanted lore that provided any insight whatsoever into what the expanse is like on any level, or at least something that didn’t spend every line it could going out of it’s way to emphasize how one-dimensionally amoral everyone and everything here is? -That’s stupid -You’re stupid -Fuck you and that train you rode in on -Here, have a bland thinly-veiled tacked on continuation of arcane’s story that pointedly goes out of it’s way to avoid introducing any significant new elements whatsoever because that could potentially humanize lightning on some level and interfere with our pushing the totally irredeemable mad scientists that need to be wiped out for the good of the world narrative, set almost exclusively in an equally bland extension of the dragon UN building that gets knocked over to make an evil hubris reactor because scientific scientists sciencing sciencly oppose all non-science. -Watch as all lore from now on is about how everything is lightning’s fault and they’re the enemies of all life or something -durr hurr science is scary thomas edison is a witch The Seed and the Sickness- -Plague and nature getting lumped together for no goddamned reason, as usual -If the excuse is because they’re twins then light and shadow should get lumped together too, light’s story is certainly short enough and they’re already semi-connected -Plague and nature have had an armistice for thousands of years -Why yes, let’s trade nukes every decade. How could this possibly go wrong. -Plague dragons have lots of scars and war paint and wear bones confirmed -Earth flight mediates because of course it does -Dragons know about the first battles of the plaguebringer and gladekeeper -Scarred wasteland is humid -Nature dragons tell horror stories about it -Quarantine zones for testing diseases -Plague actually specifically develops and tests diseases -Nature dragons can’t live in the scarred wasteland without special measures -Bonerguards -The behemoth is sick, possibly, maybe, it’s not entirely clear, probably just hallucinations -Secret ninjas poisoning ambassadors -“Be strong, survive” -Bone spears. *immature giggle* -Nature magic can do some pretty gory, fucked up stuff. Impaled corpses hanging from trees, anyone? -It’s nice to know the admins are allowed to write about shit like that but even having an argument written in a playermade bio puts it in the danger zone -Weaponized carnivorous plants -Plague breath is toxic gas and yellow goo -Other plague magic includes giant rotting membrane cocoons -Nature and plague are probably gonna go to war again, and might drag earth into it too -Now there’s a sick lady with a plant-nuke fused to her out there somewhere -In plague, if you’re hurt, too bad. Medical treatment is for the weak. Either you survive your open wounds or you don’t. Plague dragons covered in bloody bandages are not lore-freindly, because bandages mean they weren’t strong enough to tough it out themselves. -Also implied that plague looks down upon the dead in some way

-Plague also DEFINITELY hates doctors and medicine -Ohh nooo EEEVIL plague conspiracy involving the plague ambassador -You thought there would be equal sections for both ambassadors? The plague ambassador’s section is all of 3 sentences long and only exists to tell us how evil she is. -What, you wanted lore that expanded on what it’s like in nature in any significant way? Fuck you, have a bland sabotage plot that takes place entirely in the scarred wasteland with no mention of anything at all in the viridian labyrinth. -What, you wanted lore that expands on what it’s like in plague in any significant way? Fuck you, have a bland sabotage plot that takes place entirely in an isolated nature embassy with no mention of how anything outside it works. Hear Today, Gone Tomorrow- -Pearlcatchers have slings and bags to carry their pearls -New location: shoredeep presage -Divination caves that direct the tidelord’s prophecy bubbles up from the deep for rite-of-passage rituals -Prophets have multiple levels of rank based on age -Water dragons carve handholds to use in areas with strong tides -Divination requires specific rituals seemingly similar to alchemy, along with a blindfold and special chant -Braziers made of dried coral and shells -Dragons swim with their wings -Not all water dragons have divination powers, and the ones that don’t seem to be considered lesser -The first prophecy is meant to be carried to your grave -Dragons breathe water. With their lungs. -Fishing shacks exist -The weather in wind has a direct effect on the weather in other flights, in this case leveling the whole damn water flight because the crescendo decided it wanted to spin the other way -The crescendo also does not have a monopoly on the “gigantic magically-charged supercell” game, it’s just the most consistent one -Giant whirlpool. Maybe the spiral keep collapsed? -Prophecies tell you whatever the fuck they feel like telling you, not what you want them to -All the currents in the ocean have also changed thanks to the reversed wind -Fish daddy’s not talking anymore Raising a Family- -Did you really just use a Necromancer pun? Is the next line going to be about doing it on a budget? -Very short -So short it may as well be fused with shadow’s like they did with plague and nature -Emperors generally have extremely simple, childlike minds, with varying levels of decay, and are often deliriously happy -Always hungry -Think of eachother as siblings, it’s unclear if they really are or not. Technically siblings of multiple elements are possible if their parents traveled a lot. -Have fragmented and hazy memories of their past lives -Something about “Mother and other siblings”, possibly lightweaver -Hewn city has a border patrol -Emperors with less then 4 heads DO have enough juice to go apocalypse mode, despite what the encyclopedia says -The only one i genuinely enjoyed and felt was well-written -Except now there’s a fucking hydra-zombie rampaging through light flight. i’m sure that won’t be a problematic place to leave a cliffhanger dangling for months at all. Voices- -Leafmom’s worried, Germmom’s pissed -Droolmom thinks this is the funniest shit she’s seen in 10,000 years -Something’s wrong with sornieth’s molten core, i think -Icepop bragging about his limited edition Cthulhu collection -GLITTERMOM NO YOU RACIST FAVORITE-CHILD-PICKING BITCH I SWEAR IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO THOSE MURDERNOODLES -Noddledad don’t give a fuck -Daddy Cave Johnson definitely sanctioned this evil scientific hubris reactor. Goddammit Cave. -*Space dad creepily floating outside everyone Else’s window with binoculars* -Earthdad got a playmate, but they don’t seem friendly -*Goes around putting up missing posters for tidepapa*

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E5

Welcome back! In case you’re new, this is “Let me watch TV 4 U,” the blog where I watch TV so you don’t have to. I’ll be recapping Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 5 and SPOILERS ABOUND SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tonight’s episode was titled “Eastwatch” but a more fitting title would have been “Don’t I know you from a few seasons ago?” If you’ve been following GoT for awhile, you might know that “unlikely alliances” is one of George R.R.R.R.R. Martin’s go-to-setups. He really gets off on taking 2 characters who are TOTAL OPPOSITES on paper and watching them learn to get along, just like the premise of all sitcoms. Well all of these unlikely pairs have been meeting, forming bonds, and saying goodbye for the past 7 seasons and NOW we’re apparently at the part where we have to watch them meet back up again. It kind of sounds like a kewl idea but idk about you, it just turns into a mess as a viewer because you have to remember how/when/where everyone met before. It’s like watching a livestream of a very tense high school reunion.

All that being said, some shit went DOWN tonight, so let’s go!

First of all, we get a new location on the map in the beginning, Eastwatch! If you’ll recall this is the place where Gingerbae (my fave wildling and #2 crush after Bae- Jon Snow) went to guard the wall at the behest of Bae a few eps ago.

Our first scene takes place right after last week’s epic dragon battle...

We learn that Jaime and Bronn are both still alive and we have to watch Jaime spit up seawater and I’m like who do you think you are, Euron Greyjoy?!? (lol that joke only works if you watched last season, sorry). Bronn is like dude, do you have a death wish? And Jaime is like kind of… cuz my sis Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) is a “shoot the messenger” type and now I have to tell her about all this dragon business.

Speaking of, we get some more hot-dragon-action (and I meant hot as in temp-wise, not sexual...yet...wait til Bae gets his fingers on a dragon). Tyrion is looking around at all the hell Khaleesi hath wrought and seems pretty sad about it. Remember he is a Lannister, so a lot of people who got burnt up were his home-bois.

He walks over to Khaleesi who has rounded up the surviving Lannisters and is looking FLY  AS HELL post-battle scene. Seriously, who does her hair? Probs a Dothraki cuz #goodatbraids. Khaleesi tells all the captured soldiers to kneel before her and declare loyalty to her or get killed. Sams mean dad (SMD) and Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) refuse to kneel because they’re #tooproudtobeg and Khaleesi is like, srsly guys? But they are truly #tooproud, so they both get burned up by the dragon, per Khaleesi’s orders. All of this is very not cool with Tyrion and he makes that pretty clear.

Next, we pop over to King’s Landing where Jaime is about to drop some #truth on QPC…

He tells her things are not looking so hot (or are they looking VERY HOT? Get it? Cuz dragons...sorry I’ll stop now) and that the Dothrakis (Khaleesi’s horse people) and dragons will kill them all. QPC suggests they hire mercenaries but Jaime is not feeling it. Then Jaime drops truth bomb #2 and tells QPC that he recently got the scoop that Grandma Tyrell admitted to killing their son Joffrey. See QPC was CONVINCED that Tyrion killed Joffrey which is what eventually led T to flock to #teamkhaleesi. Jaime is maybe able to convince her of this fact and that they might have to surrender to Khaleesi. She’s basically like well, damned if you do, damned if you don’t, ya know? The theme of this scene is TROUBLE IN PARADISE.

Now to the Bae-on-dragon action I promised…

Bae is waiting at the arrivals gate for Khaleesi and #1 dragon like a sad little chauffeur when Mr. Dragon lands right on his toes. Rather than giving Mr. Dragon a wide berth, he walks right up to him and TOUCHES HIS NOSE like he’s friggin’ Moana (Moana fans where you at?) Mr. D is like about to bite at first but then he’s like, naw, you’re cool. Probably because Bae is secretly a Targaryen and they’re all about dragons. Bae asks Khaleesi about her business trip and she’s like I TCOB’ed if that’s what you mean and says “sometimes strength is terrible” but that as leaders, they have to be strong.

Khaleesi then starts to ask Bae about the knife-in-the-heart comment that No-Knuckles (NK) made a few weeks ago and before Bae has to uncomfortably describe his weird Lazarus-situation to her, Stoney shows up, fresh off being cured of his stone disease by none other than Bae’s bestie Sam. The artist formerly known as Stoney (but let’s just keep calling him Stoney for now) is like will you still have me, Khaleesi? And she’s like DOI, OF COORS. And Bae is like oh I knew your dad he was a kewl dude he gave me this sword.

We get a brief interlude with everyone’s fave sooth-sayer, Brandon Stark! He hops into the eyeballs of some birds who fly North to get an update on the ice-zombie-army. As we all suspected, the ice zombies are CLOSER THAN EVER and headed to Eastwatch. This should not be a surprise because every time we check on them they’re just walking further South and unlike humans do not need to stop to eat or pee or get their hair intricately braided.

We pop into Oldtown, where Sam hears about Bran’s report. He tells all the other Maesters that they should listen to him but they, as always, are like naw this shit can’t be real. Also Maester-Jim-Broadbent is like BTW, Sam’s dad and bro just got burnt up but don’t say anything to him.

Back to Dragonstone…

Where  Tyrion and sleevey recap sam's dad and bro getting killed and agree that it was not cool, bro. Sleevey helpfully recalls a time when Khaleesi’s dad was always burning people alive. Sleevey reveals that Bae got a letter in the mail and yes, he did read it which is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, SLEEVEY! You can’t afford to go to prison!

Bae gets his hands on the letter from his bro Bran and learns A LOT. A. Bran is alive. B. Arya is alive. And C. The Night-King (leader of the ice zombies) is coming to Eastwatch. Again, this should be a surprise to no one. He talks things through with Khaleesi and co. to devise a plan and everyone has something to contribute, you guys! Here’s the plan

Tyrion will talk to his bro to try to convince him that ice zombies are real, who will then convince QPC.

NK will use his smugglin’ skills to smuggle T into King’s Landing (at this point it should really be Queen’s landing, right?)

Bae will head up north and capture an ice zombie to bring to everyone for proof. Stoney will use his battling skills to help with this.

Khaleesi is not about to let Bae go, though, probs cuz she wants more hot cave-action. But Bae is like sorry G2G!

Back in Winterfell and trouble is afoot!

Sansa is sitting at her in-charge-table and all the “Northern Lords” (although everyone’s fave 11-year-old-kween is nowhere to be seen) are still griping about Bae being down South with Khaleesi. Sansa doesn’t accept their offer to basically put her in charge, but she doesn’t defend Bae too much either. Arya, who was always besties with Bae when they were all kiddos, is not ok with that. She calls her out on it and notices that Sansa is staying in their mom and dad’s old room. She’s like ummm… you always liked nice things. Which is such a classic Winterfell-burn.

They chat and learn that they have very different views on uniting people and consolidating power. Arya is little more murder-y but Sansa is a little more scheme-y. Which better? IDK I haven’t read “The Art of War.” Basically, Arya knows that Sansa is still a bit power-hungry and calls her out on it. But I did read “Lean In” and I’m like, is that so bad?

Later, we pop back into King’s Landing where Arya is tailing Littlefinger cuz #shedontlikethelooksofthisguy, He’s being shady, as always, handing out poision, scheming with the Northern Lords, and then she sees the Maester give LF a piece of paper and she’s like oooohh I gotta get my hands on that. LF hides the paper in his room but, bitch, didn’t you know Arya is a trained assassin from the face-swapping-cult now?

She finds the paper which looks like this letter that Sansa wrote back in Season 1 when she was being forced by QPC. It’s basically her asking #teamStark to swear loyalty to Joffrey, all of which is irrelevant because most of Team Stark, along with Joffrey, is dead. Then we see LF behind the scenes looking all satisfied. Why you may ask? Well it seems like LF is trying to drive a wedge between the sisters by making Arya distrust Sansa even more. IDK I don’t condone violence but I really just want someone to stab LF.

Back to team Khaleesi, Tyrion and NK roll up on Queen’s Landing…

Tyrion reminds us all that the last time he was here, he killed his dad. NK is like well the last time I was here, you killed my son! You’d think there would be some sort of resolution with that but nope, NK was just throwing it out there! Tyrion heads off to see his bro and NK heads off on a secret mission that IS VERY CUTE, just wait and see.

Bronn sets up a meeting between Tyrion and Jaime, who haven’t seen each other since Jaime saved Tyrion from getting killed (per QPC and their dad’s orders). T proceeded to shoot their dad to death on the toilet, so Jaime is understandably a little peeved. Tyrion explains why he came and asks if Jaime could ask QPC if she might possibly be into checking out an ice zombie if they can get one. Jaime is still peeved but considers this helpful offer.

Meanwhile, we get a reunion of 2 of our faves, NK and Gendry!!!! So non-GoT-watchers, Gendry is this dude who is secretly the son of Robert Baratheon, QPC’s ex-hubby and the former king. Only a few ppl knew this, and to protect him from QPC, he got sent North to the wall with Arya. He and Arya developed a cute lil’ friendship and then he met up with some Lord-of-Light (LOL) worshippers, the same ones who the Hound (remember from ep 1 of this season) is now traveling with. Then the red witch lady came and took him to Stannis to have leeches eat his blood but before the red witch could kill him, NK set him free and sent him on a rowboat back to King’s Landing. So here we are…

They reunite and it’s adorbs, since Gendry is like thanks for saving my life, you were right I ended up being safe here. And NK is like oh good, so I have a favor to ask, will you come with us? It’s for- and before he can finish Gendry is like NP my bags are packed let’s go. And NK is like do you want more info...or… and Gendry is like nope this place is the pits, let’s go, lemme get my hammer. And I AM FEELING THIS HAMMER y’all, Gendry is basically Thor of GoT now. And he shall henceforth be known as New-Thor.

NK and New-Thor head to the boat to leave Queen’s Landing and encounter some guards who aren’t gonna let them off that easy. Just when they bribe their way out of there, Tyrion shows up and the guards are like...you look familiar? So New-Thor kindly uses his hammer and demolishes those dudes, leaving T and NK both stunned and impressed.

While we’re still at Queen’s Landing, we see Jaime knocking on QPC’s door, but she’s busy with Maester Qyburn, having some deep discussion. We also learn Qyburn is the hand-of-the-queen (did we know this before? It was news to me). Jaime is like what we’re y’all talking about, and QPC is like I’m sorry, HIPAA, I can’t tell you. Then she tells him that she knows he met with Tyrion and that he should punish Bronn for setting that up. She also hints that she’s willing to do a collab with Khaleesi but then she’s like “we will defeat whatever stands in our way” which doesn’t sound very collab-y to me.

Then, in a major reversal, SHE DROPS A TRUTH BOMB ON HIM and tells him she’s PREGNANT and the baby is HIS. He is shook but also very happy because he loves her a lot. He’s like who you gonna say knocked you up? And she’s like it’s 2017, bitch, I’ll say it was my twin bro cuz #hatersgonnahate. Do we believe she is really preggo? I do not. Classic desperation move when you see your man starting to slip away. But nonetheless he is happy about it so there’s that.

Next, we head back to Dragonstone...

Where Bae meets New-Thor in Bae’s fave place, a cave! They reminisce about how their dads were friends and New-Thor calls out Bae on being a little shorty-pie. We think Bae is gonna be like “ah hell naw” but instead he’s like LOL you’re right bro. New-Thor offers to head North with Bae to kill some ice-zombies with his hammer. NK is a little peeved because he told New-Thor not to tell anyone who his dad was and not to get himself into trouble. NK’s like well don’t mind me, I only lived to be an old man so what do I know about surviving? It’s a very cute scene and it all plays out like a dad playfully chastising his sons for picking a college that’s too far away.

On the shore we get some goodbyes. Tyrion and Khaleesi both say goodbye to Stoney and Khaleesi is especially sappy about it. Then she says goodbye to Bae, who is busy loading up his boats with zombie-killing-rocks from the caves. She’s like, so…I’ll call you next week? And Bae’s like umm….maybe? But you know they’re both fighting the urge to pop into a cave for a quick makeout sesh.

Next, we see Sam and Gilly in Oldtown reading books…

Gilly happens upon the MOST IMPORTANT INFO EVER in a book, which Sam, in a very-un-Sam-like way, completely ignores. It’s infuriating. Basically she finds out that Bae’s real parents, Rhaegar Targaryen (Khaleesi’s bro) and Lyanna Stark (Daddy Stark’s sis) were legit married when she had Bae, which means he is the ONE-TRUE-HEIR to the iron throne or whatevs. Sam, however, is too peeved about the Maesters not listening to him (or Bran for that matter) and gathers up some of the best books in the library (and he is in for the late fee OF A CENTURY cuz you know he won’t return ‘em) and heads out of there.  It’s a frustrating scene. I just..can’t...

Finally, we make it to Eastwatch...

Where we get to check in with Gingerbae my #2 boo. Bae tells him the plan to trap the ice zombie and bring it back as proof and Gingerbae is like you are cuckoo. NK is there to confirm that yes, Bae is cuckoo, and no, he’s not going North with them. But on the docket we do have New-Thor with his hammer and Stoney with his un-stoned-hands and arms to help! Gingerbae is like well I know some other dudes who want to get up there...cut to…

The Hound and his LOL-ers Eyepatch and Gingerbun (am I the only one who finds Gingerbun kind of attractive?) are in Eastwatch-prison, doing a very poor version of Cellblock Tango from Chicago, the musical. This is the scene where the whole-don’t-I-know-you-from-somewhere gets really messy. No need to dive into all of it, the point is, these people have HISTORY with eachother. But Bae reminds them that since they’re all humans and not zombies, they’re on the same side. So they head out into the deep, cold, winter to trap and ice zombie. And we’re left there.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: QPC IS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: Seriously Sam. You could not listen to the most important news ever because you were distracted?

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi lookin’ so fly fresh out of battle, Sansa is really rocking those fitted armor gowns

Who died this ep? Sam’s Bro Dickon (RIP) and Sam’s Mean Dad 

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends and subscribe!? 

[dahniwitchoflight]

so bout that samurai jack episode

so I really like samurai jack, always have always will

which makes me feel the need to make a bit of a post on my perspective on what happened in the recent episode with Jack and Ashi becoming a couple

I really didnt expect peoples reactions to be as extreme as they were, but I also entirely understand all the arguments that would make people want to reject this ship so harshly

but given that, I don’t think the creators of the show handled things as undelicately as everyone seems to think, and this coming from a person who has a pretty similar life and “origin story” if you will as Ashi AND Jack (minus the obvious impossibilities like time travel :P but growing up in abusive isolated cult home? check. constant hyper vigilance and feeling disconnected altogether from a sense of time? check. nightmares and ptsd symptoms in general all around? check. I’m just saying, I connect to both characters here lol)

first issue people have is major and that’s the physical age gap between the two, with some people even going so far as to say its basically pedophilia, which I really don’t agree with

but given cues in the show, we know Ashi is at least an adult. Her mother lets her and her sisters go after they are fully trained adult members of the cult. Jack never sees her as anything except a murderous fully trained adult assassin out for his blood and the reveal that shes been entirely naked throughout this whole show because that black suit was actually her scarred and charred black skin?

the only other option is then the difference in experience between the two making people uncomfy, which I can understand, but the thing is, by the time that they actually become a couple, theyve gotten on equal footing.

ashi grew up isolated in a death cult that gave her no other option except to kill or be killed by the samurai. Even when she already showed inclinations of being a good and caring character to her mother’s irritation.

throughout the show, contrary to what you might think, Ashi got all of her character development on her own, while Jack was not around

Jack didn’t train her or teach her anything, Jack merely told her about the possibility of aku being evil, and then when Jack disappeared, sure her motivation to move around the world was to seek out Jack and get him to prove it to her, but unintentionally along the way she met new people, new perspectives, new ideas, saw the beauty of the world all on her own and gained those experiences and came to her own conclusions, without Jack.

the only problem with any of this was the pacing for the whole show feels too quick, so the idea that ashi gained all that experience once freed from her mother and traveled around for a bit feels too quick to really happen, but this is more a fault of the shows pacing then the shows story

its not that the plot points themselves are wrong, its just how fast they knocking them off can make it seem rushed or not real

the basic story of Ashi is:

A child with a pure heart grows up in an assassin cult and given a narrow worldview. As an adult, she fulfills her training and is then sent off to kill her target the samurai under the guidance of her god figure Aku. She fails to kill the samurai, and the samurai instead explains his absurd position that he is good and aku is evil. She at first mocks him, but as she has always been as a child, is curious, and truly wants good, so she wants confirmation of his views, wants solid proof. Jack doesnt give it to her and then leaves, forcing her to explore the world on her own and judge it with her own eyes (even though in her head she is seeking out the samurai for his answers and proof). She does this, experioences the world on her own and understands Aku’s evilness and believes in Jack’s goodness, so that by the time she actually finds the Samurai to get his answers, she already has her own. They’ve become on equal footing.

and that feels quick sure, but the important part is that its not impossible. It can be hard for abused children to accept outside narratives than the one they grew up in, the struggle is real believe me, so seeing it happen this way to Ashi can feel unrealistic to those that it hasn’t happened to. But its not impossible for it to happen this way, at all. It’s very similar to what happened with me, i also just happened to find a certain special person, just a friend from highschool, who by happenstance was the one to first help me shatter my illusions about my family, and that quickstarted my “character arc” if you will and I went from being in full brainwashed state to moving out and living my own life in a matter of couple months (not to say ive been fully healed in that time though, and neither has Ashi shown this either, as she still experiences the horror of that situation when she thinks of it as well)

and then theres how how all this looks from Jack’s point of view

Which is Jack has never seen her as some inexperienced child that needed guidance or a father, nor has he really ever held a position higher than hers mentally/psychologically from the start

he has only seen her as an assassin out for his blood who is wrongfully thinking that aku is good when he is evil

that is not “Ashi is ignorant I Must Teach her” thats “This person misunderstands greatly, they were taught wrong”

If Ashi was the sweet little know nothing ingenue that Jack had to raise/train, then Ashi would be all “Who’s Aku? What’s Evil? What’s Good?” she would literally Know Nothing at all except what Jack taught her, instead she consistently has her own ideas of the world, and changes those ideas on her own, she doesn’t just adopt samurai Jack’s worldview because he told her too. She gets her own worldview, which is subtly different than Jack’s even if they are aligned together

So we can agree Ashi is traumatized, and is mentally affected by this, despite showing realistic yet rushed growth that puts her more on par with Samurai Jack yes?

now the other side of the coin

Jack is ALSO traumatized by the life he’s lived in very similar ways to Ashi

both have been constantly forced by circumstance to survive under the threat of death, Angry Jack is literally Trauma Induced Hypervigilance personified. Ashi constantly hounded with “Are You Weak? Do You Deserve To Die?” with no person to offer either of them comfort or care. Both have been forced to fight against evil constantly, with the idea that they MUST win over evil or they will not only die, but deserve to die. Jack is a Samurai who has sworn to his family that he will fix everything and get Aku, and his guilt over feeling like he’s not able to haunts him with the faces of the dead he feels responsible for to the point where he was driven to honor bound suicide. Ashi was given one option in life, kill the samurai or die trying, and if you die you die in failure in shame, her life had no value except in if she could kill Jack. 

so its like, yes Ashi has been through some stuff, which compared to a normal psychologically healthy person, could put her at a disadvantage or set her up to be used and abused/continue the cycle etc

but Jack is nowhere near a psychologically healthy person either, he’s in the same position as her from the start

and both of them get “out of” their trauma in seemingly unrealistic ways, in fact I’d say Jack literally just sitting down and meditating Angry Jack out of his soul for a day is more unrealistic than Ashi going out and living the life she never could and experiencing full blast all of the world’s goodness on her own for the what, 2 or 3 weeks that she did before finding Jack

basically my point is by the time they kiss on the show, they are both adults, and have no reason to believe the other is not just a normal adult, they’ve been through the same trauma’s, been on the same unstable mental footing, continue to deal with the feelings of terror while aligning themselves to the same goal of “get aku” theyve traveled together, understood their differences and now understood perhaps theyre similarities, felt a connection and kissed

and really, Ashi deserves the love that Jack could bring her as much as Jack deserves the love Ashi can bring him

nothing about their situation feels unequal in any regard to me, except for the literal fact that Ashi is 20 to Jack’s unnatural 70

we see the difference as the audience, but Jack sees a normal 20 year old woman his equal, who can sympathize with his life experiences, and Ashi sees a normal 20 year old man her equal, who needed a shave, who can sympathize with her life experiences

all in all, it doesn’t feel like a disservice to either of their character’s, it feels like two traumatized people happened to find themselves on the same boat for once, and discovered that hey, maybe another living human does and can understand what I’ve been through, maybe I can make a connection to another person