#Theres gonna be an explenation for it soon

[questionablealibi]

Got a new art program! And I thought what better way to test the program than to use tsp narrator as warm up ^^

This isnt an official design just yet, every fibre in this was made on a whim and out of fun :) hopefully the quality isn't too bad

Take care <3

[blubirdreamz]

// !!VENT POST!! // DO NOT READ OR INTERACT IF YOU ARE GOING TO SPREAD HATE //

theres been something on my mind that some people might find disturbing or unsettling, but i have to share it.

whenever i listen to music or saved audios on tiktok i walk or run around when i do so, for most of the time i have to be in constant motion to properly imagine things. but that is not the only thing

i have been doing this since i was a kid, i imagined myself in animation memes, movies or even myself as a youtuber or tiktoker (basically a celebrity) but ever since my reputation in school got ruined, i felt sick and ashamed so i found a character that i can portray my own personality, my own interests and problems onto. so after the WORST week at school of getting bullied and teased to the point where the only thing i could do is lay down on the desk and cry because i knew that if i asked a teacher for help and told them about the popular kids bullying me for my interests and style, it wouldnt end up good. my mind always told me not to because they might say something false about me or might tell the teacher about a bad thing ive done a long while ago. i would come back from school crying and i wouldnt come out of my room once not even to get food or water. the whole situation has left a REAL deep scar in my mental state and for 6 months i have felt burnt out and i couldnt take proper care of myself, i couldnt sleep and had a messed up sleep schedule, i couldnt brush my teeth or brush my hair properly. i felt scared because i knew they had my home adress, they were saying real bad stuff about me in their discord groups and servers that theyd purposely send me invites to just ot harrass me and make fun of me, they have made me insecure about my chest, my stomach (not perfectly flat), my thighs and hip dips. so after all that i found a character that would represent me (even if they werent even a little similar to me) my struggles and interests, and no, im not posting as them, i dont think that i am them, though i cant imagine myself as a cool person anymore, knowing that no one i know thinks im cool, but i think that the character is cool. I feel ashamed of myself so instead of thinking about myself, i think about them. i know this explenation is not exactly what im feeling, and i cant currently find words for it, but i will update the post if i find a way to express.

also im sorry, its not something i usually post, and im sorry if i made anyone uncomfortable or disturbed, i feel really bad about what im feeling and i am scared that people will see me as weird or mentally ill, or think of me as a psychopath or someone that deserves to be put in a mental hospital. i had to say it tho. and i feel disgusted for doing so but i hope you will understand.

ALSO, i will be giving more details soon about the whole „portraying myself as a fictional character” thing that i currently cannot really put into words since this post has been more of a dump about what happened to me at school, so i hope you are all doing okay, bye (im not gonna k!ll myself though, the whole thing happened A REAL LONG WHILE AGO)

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO SPECIFY WHAT CHARACTER I PORTRAY MYSELF ONTO OR NOT