#They sound so similar I couldn't help but make a headcanon inspired by it

[cryo-lily]

Reasons why I maintain the headcanon that Isadola (regardless if it’s the Jedi or Sith Timeline) has an Imperial accent.

Jedi Issie hides hers due to her own experiences growing up, Sith Issie’s changed slightly due to her different experiences growing up.

(Also behold my poor vid editing skills due to only having one program at my disposal)

[stormbreaker101]

El Dorado's History, Morganthe's Backstories, and Kane's Plan

Or, in other words, trying to make all of the scattered bits of canon make sense.

Disclaimer: This is headcanon. Though I try to not directly contradict canon, I do have to fill in the blanks a lot, and sometimes something in canon just blatantly does not work with everything else.

So, let's start at the very beginning.

The creation of the Spiral, and the Titans being put to sleep. The way that the Fire Titan sleeps in Dragonspyre and the Ice Titan hibernates in Grizzleheim, the Storm Titan slumbers in (what is now called) El Dorado. I was inspired by this post by @bowl-of-wyrms. Along with the Tritons, El Dorado was home to many species we see elsewhere in the Spiral, particularly in Celestia, Skull Island, Wizard City, and Lemuria: The Watermoles, Crabs, Sharks, Prawn, other Fishfolk, Troggies (though that's such a distateful sounding name for them, I've decided to rename them the Coqui after the animal of the same name, inspired by a friend who has done the same) and perhaps other peoples based on aquatic & tropical species. Collectively, I'm going to call the people who lived there the Doradans.

Closeby to El Dorado was Celestia, a world and people hand-made by Grandmother Raven to steward the Astral Schools, similar to how she made the Kalamar, Dwarves, Nimbari, and Alphoi in Empyrea to steward Life/Death, Fire/Ice, Myth/Storm, and her Edicts. The reason the Celestians ended up separate from Empyrea was because the Astral Magics (being a triad) couldn't make a Paradox Chain the way the other schools could, so Raven placed the world elsewhere.

I like to think of Celestia as becoming El Dorado's moon, or the two worlds being like a binary system. This is in reference to my other headcanons of how the Spiral works as a physical galaxy (which I should write up and post sometime lmao). In any case, these two worlds are VERY close-knit.

Another world that is closely involved with the two is Azteca. It's a bit more of a 'third wheel' in the system, but there had been the trade of knowledge and craft between Azteca and the other two. Azteca has its own extensive craft of Astral magic (as seen in-game with the spells you can learn from there), and El Dorado contains plenty of Aztecan architecture and stonework (I shall explain my evidence for this headcanon shortly).

Aside from architecture and magic, a third notable craft came from these three worlds coming together: the Golden Organs. The Organs were devised to help one control the Storm Titan if he were to ever wake up again. They channel different aspects of other Schools of magic to help one counter and bind Storm.

The Golden Eye gives its user perfect perception, and draws on the Life school as the force of awareness and existence. Observing everything from the mightiest of forces to the smallest pieces of being. It takes in both information and magic, opening more than just your physical eyes to all that the Song of Creation has to offer.

The Golden Mind gives its user perfect recollection, and draws on the Ice school's tankiness. It works as a magical storage system to contain and withstand all the information that comes through the Eye, protecting its user from overwhelm. (And from that perfect knowledge retention comes heightened intelligence like we see in Kane.)

The Golden Heart gives its user the ability to hold all the mana that the Eye helps you take in, drawing on the Fire school's connotations of passion and energy. In nonliving beings such as clockworks, it would also give them the capacity to feel desires and emotion to the extent that a living person does.

The Golden Hand gives its user the strength and precision to harness all the mana within the Heart, taking inspiration from Death being all about finality and transformation and channeling the fear from oneself to others.

Missing just one of the four Organs when trying to control the Storm Titan can spell disaster for both the entity using them and for the lands around them.

El Dorado's reputation of being home to wondrous magics has existed for just about as long as El Dorado itself has existed. Ages ago, the Golden Hand and Eye were stolen away and lost elsewhere in the Spiral. This thievery spurred the Doradans and Celestians to create the Golden Sentinels to guard the remaining two Organs, which were basically souped up versions of the various Constructs we see in Celestia.

So that's my headcanons on El Dorado. Now onto my Arc 2 thoughts.

In my interpretation, Morganthe grew up in Avalon, raised by her elder brother Malory and mentored by Merle Ambrose. After King Artorious's near-death and transformation into the Pendragon, Merle Ambrose decided to leave Avalon and found Ravenwood Academy & Wizard City. Morganthe was among the first students enrolled.

She also became the first student expelled from Ravenwood after her attempts to practice Astral magic nearly resulted in the destruction of Wizard City. She joined Coleridge's crew and ended up in Khrysalis. After destroying the Radiant Alcazar (the burrowers' own Star magic temple) she, Coleridge, and the crew landed on the new North side of Khrysalis, where the Arachna were quick to take her in. They helped her master Sun magic in the Solar Arc, but couldn't help her with Moon and Star. She also began to earn the title of Shadow Queen here, as the Arachna recognized her potential and were willing to build her up as theirs.

Thus began Morganthe's warpath. She started in Zafaria, claiming it as a base of operations (which is how I'm interpreting the whole "Zafaria was once her home" comment that Avalon seems to otherwise immediately retcon) and trying to bully her way into learning its Star magic. She gained a sizable following from each of the four nations, though lost the Deck of Shadows that the Arachna gave her in a fight against the newly founded Council of Light.

Embittered by her loss not just in the new Star magic she had just gotten from Zafaria but also the Sun magic from the Solar Arc, Morganthe decides she must go big or go home. So she goes big, marshalling the new Morgantine Army against Celestia, the divine center of Astral magic. The Army is made of Shadow Weavers from the Arachna, some of her Zafarian followers, and the undead she pulled from Celestia's own graves.

This is where El Dorado and Morganthe overlap. The Celestians and Doradans summon the Storm Titan to try and turn the tide (ha) against the Morgantine Army. However, only having the Heart and Mind was their downfall. Without the Eye, they couldn't take in all of the power that Storm had. Without the Hand, they couldn't control what power the Heart was able to absorb and store.

The Storm Titan ended up permanently flooding Celestia, knocking Celestia & El Dorado off of their regular orbits, and even chipping some pieces of El Dorado to scatter into the Spiral. One group of chunks became its own world: Skull Island, where we see remains of Doradan and Aztecan society today in its scattered ruins.

As for Morganthe, she failed to go big so she had no choice but to go home. Back to Khrysalis, where she finally relented and admitted that she couldn't grasp Astral magic yet. It was always far too slippery. She needed something stronger. She needed to actually use Shadow. Becoming the Shadow Queen not just in title, but in ability. It was the only avenue she could see left, the last option presented to her.

Oh and because Lemuria has had me in a chokehold for the past 2.5 years and will continue to strangle me for years after, it's only a few years after the Storm Titan's destruction (also known among the surviving Doradans both on El Dorado & flooded Celestia as "The Great Storm") that Stallion Quartermane leads the Old One to Celestia. The Old One took a fragment of what little dry land already remained and some of the Watermoles & Sharkfolk for Lemuria (whose descendants we see there today), swooping in as some benevolent savior that they oh so desperately needed after they just suffered a mass-extinction event and the loss of a LOT of their people and creations to the flood.

And now this headcanon history jumps some 1500 years later, when Marco Pollo creates the map to El Dorado. He and his crew make the journey there, and Gazpaccio manages to snag the Golden Heart and Mind, though not without angering the Golden Sentinels that the ancient Doradans and Celestians had made after the first thievery.

Gazpaccio puts the Golden Mind to use, creating Kane to help him get a leg back up in society after his former financial allies, the Tortellini family, kicked him to the curb. When the Polarian War breaks out, Gazpaccio released Kane to the King and Queen of Valencia as a mechanical master of strategy that could halt Napoleguin in his tracks.

There's a funny interaction that happens in the background that nobody is really aware of. Out of the four major Spiral Powers--that being Marleybone, Monquista, Valencia, and Polaris--the lattest is the most magical. It is home to the Auroracle (ancient spirit able to give prophetic messages to those who ask it), the Luphilim (guardians of the Auroracle and other divine sites in the Spiral) , and the majority of Borealis Gemstones (the purest chunks of the First World). I'm of the headcanon that Napoleguin became such a threat to the Spiral Powers because he dared to integrate magic into politics and war. He became essentially a battlemage general, similar to Grand General Spitfire perhaps.

And Kane just so happens to be made of an artifact designed to help one control uncontrollable magic. The Golden Mind's more ancient programming kicks in, giving him the drive to rein in magic. First he establishes the Armada to break Napoleguin's army. Next, he encourages the Valencian royalty to include a term in the post-war peace treaty, that magic shall not be involved in international politics. This treaty later expands to the Armada outlawing all magic.

The Golden Mind's anti-magic programming kicking in also activates another ancient piece of code it has: seeking the other Golden Organs. This is what drives Kane to seek El Dorado, to complete the set. He doesn't know where the other Organs are, but is certain that they, schematics for building them, or clues as to their whereabouts, are in El Dorado. And thus, canon Pirate101 (Arc 1) plays out.

also yea this means that Kane destroying the Golden Heart is stupid and just Does Not Work with this headcanon. I am fully of the belief that the Heart had to be destroyed just so it wouldn't stay an unresolved plotpoint as the writers had to desperately tie the plot up in Valencia Part 2. That isn't to say that Kane in this AU would want to immediately install the Heart. Having a potentially-infinite store of magic without having the tool necessary to channel it (i.e., the Golden Hand) may only cause him difficulties. He would hesitate to install it until he had the Hand.

As for Pirate Arc 1's end, with the Machine taking the Golden Mind and Queen revealing herself to be alive?

That's a story for another time.

[kedicatt-cotl]

i feel like heket would get super into instrumental music & learn how to play all sorts of instruments because of her disability, leshy would be her #1 fan, what instruments would she play if you think this mini headcannon is cute? -cata

Oh I love this headcanon so much! Thank you sm for the ask, it's very interesting! Sorry it took me a while to get to it, I was thinking of the best way to answer

-----

Nobody in Lamb's cult, including Narinder, the kits, Heket and Lamb himself, has much to do with musical instruments. There could be only one person who could have thought of this.

---

It was the sound of Narinder shaking his bell bracelet in front of Buyana's face that got Leshy to the idea.

“You know, he told Heket who was standing next to him, “this reminds me of something”.

He heard her bandage rustle against itself as she turned to look at him. She remained silent, because she couldn't speak.

Later, Leshy came up to Narinder. “Hello, dear brother”, he said. “You know how to work with wood, right? Could you try making something for me?”

In simple words Leshy explained the cat the construction of tambourine that he saw his followers play, and asked him to make something similar.

Narinder hesitated for a bit, but then nodded. “I've never done anything like this before, but I'll try.”

---

Together they presented Heket the instrument, and she liked it.

---

With the help of Leshy's memories of music, books from Darkwood and Narinder's growing craftsmanship skills, over the time Heket got a tambourine and multiple versions of guitar-like instruments (there wasn't enough clear information on how they're made, so Narinder decided to experiment with different constructions, trying to perfect it).

To her own surprise, Heket turned out to love music. She always preferred to express her emotions through her loud voice while she had it, and music allowed her to express what she feels and have everyone hear that.

Whenever Heket performs in the middle of the camp, she gathers small crowds of followers around her. The ones that are busy working and cannot come closer enjoy the tunes, too.

Leshy undoubltedly is her #1 fan, he is very proud of how far his sister has come. Baal and some followers in the cult got inspired and decided that they would like to learn to play music, too!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Thank you for answering my ramble, I would like to continue to borrow your ears, if that's alright

That was a good point re: school languages... Maybe a better analogy would be languages that aren't common in an area? Like my school had German and French as options, even though there wasn't any notable amount of population in either. An elective, of sorts.

As for the vocal cords, perhaps they're structured differently, or it could be a whole different organ, to produce sounds. I'm leaving a bit of wiggle room personally, since it's v fantasy anyways from what we know of their physiology. Organs likely have to change somewhat anyways, with the land potion - where digestion leads, how blood vessels work, etc. So mer language couldn't be spoken on land (or spoken with some difficulty), and human languages could only be mimicked in sea.

Something new to think about for you, though - what's your opinion on the double jaw hc for the eels? I personally like it - it gives them more similarity to their animal inspiration, and the thought of the jaws being used to freak people out is quite amusing~

[Referencing this post!]

chisxvjsns They used to offer German and French as electives at my school but 😩 they got dropped because not enough people were taking it… so I see something similar going on with a (theoretical) course for merpeople to learn the common language of humans? Like, it’s an elective but some schools may not offer it at all due to lack of general interest in going to the world above long term.

Yes, I would imagine that the transformation (?) potions are would have to do a lot of complex procedures in terms of rearranging the organs and other body parts. When you think about it like that, it’s really amazing that magic can do things usually only surgeries can.

I think the vocal cords of a merperson would probably have to be at least a different shape to accommodate for the water rushing through them?? Though the shape would also have to be able to adapt to air, since I assume merpeople can surface and still speak just fine without the water.

I think the twins having a second jaw headcanon is fun, but putting aside suspension of disbelief, I don’t think it’s… practical?? If we think about the anatomy of a human versus a moray eel, they’re quite different. A human has a comparatively small mouth and respiratory opening compared to eels, so would a second jaw even be able to realistically fit in a human without inhibiting their other functions?? Or at least displacing some of the other organs??? Wouldn’t that at least result in misaligned teeth or an overbite??

I can see maybe their merforms being adapted to accommodate the second jaw (even then, it’s debatable how much their merforms relate to the A&P of their sea creature species; ie octopuses have large heads to hold their organs and beaks instead of teeth for chewing food, yet merform Azul has neither of these traits). However, I don’t see a reason why the transformation potion wouldn’t “correct” it for their human forms? The extra jaw wouldn’t have a purpose for a human (while a moral eel has the pharyngeal jaws to help them prevent prey from escaping). That’d be like saying their human forms still have gills when gills aren’t necessary for functioning on land.

In the world of anatomy and physiology, we generally adhere to the rule of “form follows function”. So… if there isn’t a need for a certain function, it usually gets eliminated over the course of evolution. In this case (since magic makes change almost instantaneous), I feel like non-necessary functions (and thus the forms associated with them) are largely eliminated in the transition from merform to human.

… Okay, the boring buzzkill stuff is done 🤡 djsvjwbekeemvzksb My opinion of the headcanon?? Like I said before, I think it’s super fun!! I love seeing fan art of it and how uncanny and grotesque it often looks. The twins would absolutely abuse it to freak out their classmates (much to Azul’s chagrin).

“Whatever happened to maintaining a sense of decorum?!” he’d moan, holding his head in his hands.

[cheemken]

Yeah you got the four elements right. The others you mentioned are sub bending but only certain ones can be used by a type of bending, only fire benders can lightning bend, earth benders can metal bend, water benders can heal, and air benders can fly (the rarest btw, only 2 people have been known to fly). But there are many other sub bending techniques, any bender can use the sub bending techniques but only if they have the skill for it. Like this one earthbender named Bolin wanted to metal bend but he couldn’t, but later learned he could lava bend which took less skill

I honestly don’t have any headcanons about the champions bending types except for Lance. I just wanted to know your opinion lol. I thought of him as a non-bender at first because of his combat skills. But there are fire benders like Zuko and Azula that know how to fight with swords and have been trained in martial arts. So I figured him being a fire bender would be a good choice

OUGH Iris as the only air bender of the group makes me sad. Canonically airbenders are the rarest among the four groups since they were all slaughtered (or almost all) during the beginning of the war. And the most airbenders found at the end of the second series was less than 20. So Iris really has no one to teach her how to bend since her parents dipped and there’s little to no air bending masters in the world

But actually, Iris learning to bend by watching the others is a very cool concept. Zuko had actually taken inspiration from other elements and used them in battle. He used his momentum as a weapon (air), standing his ground and have form to deflect attacks (earth), unleash his own power against opponents (fire), and turning his opponents energy against them (water). So Iris learning from watching others could actually be real

But GOD I know you didn’t mean it but if Iris was the avatar it’s actually canon that she would learn how to water bend next. The order is water, earth, fire, air. So if she was born as a air bender then she’d have to learn water bending next, then earth bending, then fire bending

CKSKCKZNDNS but yeah like you said the other champions are busy so Iris and Hau having a friendly battle and Hau sends a blast of water at Iris who didn’t have time to dodge or deflect it so she just puts her hands up to take the brunt of the attack and the water just, stops in front of her face, floating in the air. Just imagine after a bit of silence these two just start freaking out in excitement and surprise. They’d be calling Drayden and the other champions right away once their excitement dies down

Ohhh lava bending sounds fuckin dope tho chmdnd hahaha

But yes ik a bit abt the air benders and such, why not give Iris that angst hahaha plus yknow I just think it'd be dope she'd be the avatar, and then the way she fights is so similar to the ones who helped her bend the other elements too, I didn't know that actually happens in the show that's so cool! I didn't even know the order of learning the elements omf I got that right at least hahaha

Also it'd be cute that Hau and Iris are just vibing and such bc they're still the youngest, and maybe during that time and such, the other champs visit her and Drayden, w Drayden telling Iris and Hau to go out for a bit as the adults are talking, so hey they went out. And like, yeah they're playing near the river maybe, just being siblings it's so soft your honour cbxmdj

And yeah like you said, Hau sending Iris a blast of water, laughing at her all, "dodge this then!" And ofc Iris didn't expect it, she was still preparing her own attack, so when she held her hand up and the water was there just floating in mid air, they both were fucking vibing like crazy hahaha

"how did you do that??"

"I don't know!!"

Both got so excited that they tried it again, w Iris mimicking Hau's movements, and when she did it by herself, she almost couldn't believe it. "Are you doing that to make me feel better??"

"no! You try it by yourself again!"

And she did. They got excited even more hahaha

Both ran back to Iris' home, almost kicking the door down, and Iris screaming "I CAN WATER BEND!!"

"WHAT"

Imagine Wallace getting excited tho, happy to have another water bender in their group, that he just jumped up from their seat and went to the kids, asking so many questions abt it and went on how he could teach them more abt water bending and ofc the kids were more than happy

But also imagine if that's how the others and Drayden found out abt Iris being the avatar tho, bc no one else could do that, and if the other nations or smth finds out, or the fire nation yeah that was like the main threat iirc, then they'd take Iris from them. So they decided to always have someone w her while she trains even more, keeping her safe from any threat

[yanderes-galore]

Hey! I don’t really write requests too much so I kinda don’t know how to word this but could you elaborate on the platonic yandere eggman post? (Either in headcanons or a fic it’s your choice) It sounded interesting ! Thanks :)

I need to watch Sonic Boom soon, so I just kept this general.

Yandere! Platonic! Doctor Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik Concept

Darling takes inspiration from him

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Platonic Yandere-like behavior, Manipulation, Internal conflict, Kidnapping, Mentioned emotional abuse, Eggman failing to act like a respectable mentor.

- Due to his strange fixation on you, he can't tell if he hates you or not at first.

- What he KNOWS he hates is that you're friends with Sonic.

- It irritates him that you should technically be his enemy... but he has this fondness towards you he can't shake!

- Just when he thought it couldn't get worse?

- You admire his creations and even attempt to experiment in robotics.

- It strokes his ego... he can't say he hates you now!

- You make him feel so complicated when he meets you-

- You're friends with Sonic, but also somewhat look up to him and his robots.

- Is he supposed to hate or enjoy you?

- "Agh! This is so annoying! Why does that (Y/N) character have to be close to that hedgehog!"

- The more he sees you trying build bots similar to him, however, an idea came to mind.

- While you most likely won't be willing... it'll save him some trouble.

- He'll offer you a deal.

- He'll take you underneath his wing and help you make robots!

- But you can't see the hedgehog.

- He gets it (barely), you're so close to Sonic!

- However, you could help with his plan!

- A world of robots would be so peaceful, don't you agree?

- He'll be the one doing most of the ruling but you'll be beside him, he promises!

- "Do we have a deal? You'll GROW with my teaching!"

- Despite his convincing, you still say no.

- You must be really close with that hedgehog and his friends, huh?

- Eggman is a man who's impulsive, threatening, and selfish.

- If you won't come willingly, then he'll take you forcefully.

- He'll treat you like his prodigy due to your shared love of robotics.

- Maybe even brainstorming ways of how to turn you against Sonic with some manipulation and technology.

- He's usually rather self-centered.

- Yet with you he makes an exception, considering you helpful to his cause.

- Eggman will do whatever he can to bend you to his will, too.

- You take inspiration from him, right?

- Wouldn't you like to make your 'idol' happy and listen to him?

- It's not surprising that Eggman will throw tantrums or be emotionally abusive towards you to get you to follow him.

- He makes everything about him.

- So while he does 'love' you like you're one of his own.

- He can quickly go sour if you don't follow him.

- Pitting you against Sonic will surely break you, won't it?

- Good! Then you'll finally dedicate yourself to the selfish doctor and his teachings...

- Just like he wants you to.

- You'll do it for his attention, love, and care won't you?

- "Listening to me gets you places. Don't even THINK about sneaking out to see that hedgehog, either!"

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

Alright, so- Inspired by my awesome friend @undertheknightwing who created this AMAZING list of Dad!Dick Grayson headcanons (go check it out!!!) I decided to write down the mess I have in my own head into this giant ball of fluff, humor and angst.

So let me present you:

The Graysonfam List of Headcanons and Analysis

It's a looong ass list of my headcanons, mixed with an analysis of some scenes, looking into the motives and behavior of the characters. It's in more or less chronological order and divides into groups: season 1 (+2x01), the time jump, season 2, season 3 hopes/predictions and future. If you want me to turn any of these into fics or you feel like you could do something with it, just let me know. And now... ENJOY!

SEASON 1:

The first time Dick thinks of Gar and Rachel as his kids happens during the events of 1x08 and 1x10. It's pure instinct and it doesn't come to him until much later when he realizes that not only he thought of them this way but he actually meant it.

When he and Donna start translating Kory's notes and it becomes clear that Rachel might still be in trouble, he's immediately on his feet, asking Donna for the keys to her car and ordering her to take the books with her, so they could continue on the way. He's acting fast, ignoring Donna's questions because there's no time for explanation, my daughter is in danger. He almost says it out loud - almost. 

When Donna tells him the danger clearly comes from Kory, he wants to deny it. Kory adores these kids just as much as he does, she would never hurt them. But he puts his feet on the gas anyway, breaking every speed limit possible, because if one hair falls from Gar's and Rachel's heads, he will burn the world to find the person responsible, even if it's Kory (especially if it's Kory)

When they get there the first thing he sees is Gar being thrown in the air, and his mind short circuits to only one thing: Gar, my boy, my son. Is he okay? Thankfully Donna takes care of the rest so he's free to take care of the boy. He pulls him up, holding him tight by the shoulders and makes sure he's okay, but the words 'my son' are still circling his mind.

Speaking of Donna - when Dick starts telling her about Rachel the first time, she wants to cry from happiness. Over these past five years all she saw in Dick's eyes was pain and suffering. A storm of bottled up emotions, raging monsters of anger ready to get out. His body looked weighed down, as if he was Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. And now he's talking about this little girl who threw a brick at a cop car in Detroit and his eyes start to shine as if they were stars in the night sky. His smile grows when he brags about how smart and witty she is, how she's more intelligent than she gives herself credit for, how similar the two of them are. He talks about her bravery and her big heart and he sounds so damn proud Donna's heart is about to burst out of her chest. "I thought I couldn't do it." he tells her. "I fucked up so many times. But she had awakened something in me. I just can't describe it." She can but she doesn't say it - he needs to get to it on his own. (Over a year later, when the girl who turned her brother's world upside down tries to guide her back to the light through the darkness of afterlife, Donna finally says "I always knew he'd be a great father someday. You have no idea how much he loves you." "He told you that?" Rachel asks quietly, trying to hold back her tears. Donna looks at her and smiles. "He didn't have to. I saw it in his eyes.")

Then Dick gets to the part about finding Rachel's mother and suddenly something changes. He's trying to seem like he's happy for her, he says he's glad everything ended well and now Rachel can start a new life but Donna sees right through his facade. He thinks he can't be a part of this new life and it's killing him.

Which brings me to something very important I've noticed a long time ago - Angela's presence makes Dick hold himself back. That's why he decided to leave - Rachel had her mother back, a guardian who could take care of her from now on so he wasn't needed anymore. His job was done. But at this point he's already too attached to just leave like that and when he learns that danger isn't over he comes back immediately. But when he gets there he's met with a wall. Angela is very territorial (we all know why but Dick didn't know that) and Rachel is too overwhelmed by everything but let's be real - if Angela wasn't there Dick would be hovering over Rachel like crazy. But he doesn't. Why? Because he thinks it's not his place to do so. It's easier to go after Kory than to just be standing there awkwardly, wanting to help and comfort but not being able to.

He remembers everything Trigon put him through - every fucking detail. There is some stuff from the vision he wants to laugh at - Him and Dawn? Married? Maybe once upon a time he entertained that thought but he abandoned it long ago. There are things he's actually grateful for - seeing Gar and Rachel as they could be in the future, grown up, in college, happy. That's the one thing he doesn't want to forget. And Johnny - he doesn't want to forget Johnny either. 

His mind was sort of awake, in two places at once, even though he didn't have any control over his body. He remembers chasing the kids around the house, Gar screaming "Real life horror movie!" as he and Rachel tried to run away from him. He remembers Rachel pleading with him when the others were beating the poor boy. He wanted to respond, wanted to let her know he can hear her but he couldn't do anything. He watched helplessly as his own hand pulled Gar up and finished what others started. He screamed and shouted but it was in vain. And then he cried and howled like a wolf watching as Trigon ripped Rachel's heart from her chest and crushed it in his hand, then placed the red gemstone in her forehead. He remembers her dark eyes and evil smirk. He remembers thinking it was over, feeling heartbroken and defeated. He gave up, let the darkness swallow him whole. He didn't want to see more, it was easier locking himself up in this vision because he knew Bruce laying dead in rubble wasn't real. And then she came to him. Back straight and head held high, piercing blue eyes locked on him. He remembers his tone when he spoke to her, taunting and dangerous but it didn't scare her. "We're supposed to save each other" she told him and he wanted to cry but Trigon had him wrap his fingers around her throat and choke her - another thing he would never do. He would never lay a damn finger on her and Trigon was well aware of that. But Rachel knew that too. And she wasn't scared. 

He remembers the circus she brought him into. Empty stage, broken chairs scattered everywhere. He never wanted to come back here. And even though his body stood there motionless he was trashing inside, wanting to get out of here but more importantly wanting to get her out of here. Seeing Rachel on that platform, ready to jump, it was too much. He couldn't lose her, like he lost his parents. He didn't catch them but he sure as hell was going to catch her. So when she fell - he snapped. Got the control back, his muscles acted on memory and he jumped. He flew like he used to and wrapped his fingers around her wrists, holding her tight. He caught her. He would always catch her.

When they wake up all he wants to do is hold her. Relief almost sends him to his knees. But then Gar walks in, all bloody and bruised and all that relief turns into freezing agony and guilt. I did this, he thinks. It's my fault. But there is no time for apologies or explanation, Trigon is still there. Letting Rachel go deal with him on her own is hard but Dick knows she could do it - and she did. Seeing her walking out of that fog is one of the most beautiful views he saw in his life. And when he finally takes her into his arms he doesn't let go until Kory basically rips her out of his embrace.

He wants Kory to go with them. Kids need her. His idea of giving Gar and Rachel a new life included her. Included both of them, taking care of the kids together. Things between them are tangled and complicated but one thing that is neither of those things is their attachment to these two. But Kory just got her memories back, she has her own issues to deal with, she needs time and space - and he respects that, so do Gar and Rachel. But Dick would be lying if he said he didn't notice their disappointment.

The first day of their roadtrip across the country is quiet - mostly because they are all so goddamn tired. Dick pulls up to a motel before dark, deciding that the more sleep they get the better. They pick two rooms next to each other, Jason and Gar in one, he and Rachel in the other. Rachel immediately vanishes in the bathroom, so Dick has time to sit down and think (as if he wasn't doing it the entire day while driving). An idea is shaping in his head, memories of a beloved city in sunny California come to the surface of his mind and he knows this is where he wants to take the kids. But he has to make a stop at Gotham first, he needs to talk to Bruce and most importantly return Jason home. Rachel walks out of the bathroom in fresh clothes Donna left for her and crawls into bed without a word. He takes his time to tuck her in, then sits down on the edge of her bed. She's beyond exhausted, but she's safe, she's with him, everything will be alright. He will never let anyone take her away from him again. And when he's watching her fall asleep, holding her hand in his, three words come to his mind, words he's not ready to say aloud yet but he knows them to be true. I love you.

THE TIME JUMP:

Physical affection is something I think the show is pretty good at showing but I still crave to see more. It's clear that Dick struggles to be affectionate, whether that be through words or touch. And he doesn't even realize he's actually very good at it. Why? Because whenever he does it, he's acting on instinct. The biggest proof? All his hugs with Rachel in s1. Boy had no idea what to do, it was written on his face, but his arms went up nonetheless. He didn't freeze, he didn't push her away, but reacted accordingly. The hugs in 1x02 and 1x04 are the only ones he initiated on his own, but he still wasn't sure if he's doing it right. As the show went on he slowly eased into it, but was still taken by surprise when it happened (1x08, the first hug in 2x01). By the end of 2x01 he seems to be pretty comfortable with it but I think it's during the time jump when he really starts to understand the importance and power of physical affection and how these kids really need it. The pat he gave Gar on the shoulder in 2x03 or their hug in 2x09 felt really natural, same as the goodbye hug with Rachel in 2x13. All three of them got comfortable with each other during those first three months in SF. Which leads me to…

Cuddle sessions. Yes, this is definitely a thing at Titans Tower (*cough*Grayson*cough*household*cough). It starts that first night when Dick, Rachel, Gar and Jason gather on the couch to watch a movie. Rachel lays down and rests her head on Dick's thigh while Gar settles comfortably on his other side. Dick has no idea when it happened but he freezes for a moment when he realizes his hand is on Rachel's head, fingers carding through her hair. The girl seems to be asleep already but stirs when he stops and asks him to continue, so he does. Soon after that Gar's head lands on his shoulder as the boy starts nodding off. The sudden contact wakes him up and he pulls away awkwardly, apologizing but Dick tells him it's okay so Gar leans back against him. The feeling of having the two of them so close brings a sense of calm to Dick and soon he falls asleep as well. He wakes up in the morning with the two teenagers basically laying on top of him and Jason standing over them with a smirk and a phone in his hand.

After that it sort of becomes a thing and not just during movies. Whenever Dick sits down on the couch, whether to work or to simply relax, Gar or Rachel (or both) would find him and snuggle to him, at first hesitantly, but with more confidence as the time passes and they get comfortable with it. After three months of living together all Dick has to do is pat the spot next to him for them to jump on the couch and cuddle up, tho Rachel is the one who does it most often and with no hesitation.

Dick very quickly starts understanding how important it is for them so he starts returning the favor. A good job pat on the shoulder during training, a kiss dropped on the top of the head during breakfast, a comforting shoulder rub when they aren't feeling well, emotionally or physically. Gar loves when Dick ruffles his hair, he even leans into it sometimes, while Rachel's favorite things are forehead kisses and tucking her hair behind her ear (but neither of them would ever say that out loud)

Words are as important as gestures, which brings us to affectionate pet names. It feels normal and almost ordinary when it comes from a woman - Rachel has been called 'honey' by Melisa and 'sweetheart' by Dawn but she wasn't phased by it. But when Dick calls her 'honey' for the first time, she nearly drops her coffee mug. It comes out so naturally and he doesn't even realize he said it, but it takes her breath away and she needs a moment to collect herself. With Gar it's usually 'Bud', 'Buddy', or 'Tiger Boy' spoken affectionately and he's always beaming with happiness when he hears Dick saying that.

One night, shortly after Trigon, Rachel slips into his bedroom in the middle of the night, saying she can't sleep. The memories are too vivid, too real. Her lips are trembling and she looks like she's about to fall apart and that's all it takes for Dick to sit up, open his arms for her and with full awareness and conviction say "come here, baby girl". She falls asleep snuggled to his bare chest and Dick feels his throat getting dangerously tight. He'd seen many times, mostly on TV, images of parents holding their babies to their bare skin - something about creating a bond through skin-to-skin contact. He was never able to wrap his head around this concept, but now, as he feels Rachel's cheek pressed to his heart, her hand closed in his resting on his stomach, the understanding hits him like a speeding train, pushing a tear or two out of his eyes. It's something indescribable, feels profound and almost sacred. The love he feels in this moment is overwhelming.

Gar has nightmares too, he usually wakes up screaming. It scares Dick at first, how he reacts, because the boy pulls away, wide eyed and shaking, and doesn't want to be touched. Guilt overwhelms Dick because he's sure it's because of him, because of what he did to Gar while being under Trigon's control. He tries to apologize and Gar accepts it but explains to him that his nightmares are not Dick's fault and they are not even about that (Dick can feel the boy is lying for both of their sakes but lets him anyway). It takes a few tries and lots of pleading and building trust but one night Gar finally falls into Dick's arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He pulls the boy close, runs his fingers through his hair just like Gar likes it and whispers "it's okay, my little boy." over and over again until Gar's body goes limp in his hold and he can put him back to sleep. Neither of them mentions it in the morning, but Gar gives him a look full of gratitude, filling his heart with warmth.

One evening during their first week in SF they organise a 'bonding night' - Gar's idea. There's take out and board games and staying up all night, talking. At some point one of them suggests sharing any hidden talents (besides superpowers of course) and details no one knows about them. Jason admits to being a theatre nerd ("it's thespian you idiots!") and proves it by flawlessly rapping verses from Hamilton. Gar thanks to travelling with his parents can fluently speak few African languages, he also shares that during his time at the Doom Manor Rita taught him the basics of playing piano. When it's Dick's turn he gets up from the couch and vanishes for a few minutes, but eventually comes back with a guitar, saying he had learned to play during his circus days, but hadn't done it in a while so he might be a little rusty. He plays a few cords, trying to spark his memory and when the notes finally come to him, a beautiful melody fills the room (I always imagine it's Viva la Vida by Coldplay). And suddenly this melody is joined by an angelic voice - Rachel closes her eyes and starts singing quietly, recognizing the song. She only opens her eyes when she's finished and finds the three of them looking at her in absolute awe, Dick's eyes seem to be a bit watery. She gets a bit embarrassed and says it's nothing but they start cheering and clapping anyway. Gar asks her where did she learn to sing like that and she admits she used to sing in a church choir when she was little, but had to quit after her powers started showing. The night ends with a little jam session and lots of laughing.

Gar and Rachel grew up on golden era of Disney Channel shows (Jason knows them too but he'd rather be tortured than ever admit that) and once the news is out Dick is forced to sit through the entire run of Wizards of Waverly Place. But watching Rachel flawlessly impersonate the main character Alex, knowing every line word for word makes him grin like a madman and laugh so hard his stomach hurts and tears roll down his cheeks. He pulls her to him and she falls on him in a fit of uncontrollable giggles while Gar and Jason give her a standing ovation.

SEASON 2:

While hanging out together is important, Dick also makes sure he gets to spend some time with each of them separately. With Jason it's mostly through training - the boy isn't very keen on spending one-on-one quality time outside of the gym, but prides himself to be Dick's right hand man during lessons, having more experience over the other two. With Gar it's video games most of the time - Dick learned to play specifically for him and actually started paying attention to gaming lore. But it's not just that - Gar has a talent to anything tied to technology so they spend a lot of time together in the tech room where the boy learns to operate the Tower system. It brings both of them a lot of joy. Rachel, as the only girl in their little family, often needs some time away from the boys, so Dick takes her on walks in the mornings or a drive around the city, shows her his favorite coffee shop which soon becomes their favorite spot. They talk about everything and nothing, because conversations were the thing that brought them so close in the first place, and it just feels good. 

Rachel also loves spending time with him in the tech room - but not like Gar, she's not learning to run it (although she picked up a thing or two) but she's simply there to keep Dick company while he works (can he even call that work if he hasn't been officially working as a detective for quite a while now? Not to mention his resignation has been sent to Detroit the day they arrived in SF). She brings him coffee or snacks, stands behind his chair with her arms around his neck, observing whatever he's doing (and asking lots of questions) or simply sits in the other swiveling chair, drawing in her sketchbook or turning around so many times Dick starts to worry she's gonna get dizzy. He asks her one time if she's not bored sitting here with him but she just shrugs and says she'd rather be here than anywhere else and his heart grows tenfold as he smiles at her

So remember how Rachel lost control and attacked Jason in 2x03? And how Jason shouted "Stay away from me you fucking freak!" right in her face? And how Dick walks in like 3 seconds later asking if everything's okay and the tension is HIGH??? Well, he might have not seen what happened, but he definitely HEARD the full thing, he was within the hearing range. The fact that he didn't attack Jason immediately is really impressive, if this was s1!Dick - Jason would be on the floor right now, probably with a swollen eye and few broken bones. But here Dick is trying to play it smart and investigate. If it wasn't for dr Light he would probably get to the bottom of this and had a conversation with both Jason and Rachel. I'm thinking of writing a one-shot AU where he actually does it (mostly thanks to Gar who is a terrible liar when caught of guard)

When the last cab drives away and the Tower becomes empty, save for him, Gar and that boy in the infirmary, Dick does not leave to meet with Adeline immediately - he goes to Rachel's room and starts scrubbing it clean from all the crosses painted all over the place. His eyes are burning, the bile in his throat is the size of a tennis ball but he doesn't allow himself to cry. At some point Gar joins him and wordlessly starts helping him. It takes them a little over an hour and when it's done they both drop down on her bed, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "She'll be back." Gar tells him. "I'm not so sure." Dick replies, not looking at the boy. Gar puts a hand on his shoulder. "She will. You just wanted to protect us. Deep down she knows that, she's just angry." Dick knows Gar's reasoning is valid, but looking at his own reflection in the broken mirror he can't help but think that in the long run Rachel will be better off without him. They will all be better off without him.

It's not until his first night in prison that Dick starts to regret his decision to cast himself away. He wakes up in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes, his mind still reeling from dreams of Gar and Rachel seven years in the future. They were adults, happy and independent - that's good, right? That's what he always wanted for them. But his tears start to fall when it comes to him, hitting him like a wrecking ball, that spending 7 years behind bars means he won't be able to see them grow up. Something like a panic attack comes next and he is barely able to pull himself out of it. He's suddenly overwhelmed by questions. My kids… will they be okay? Is Kory back at the Tower or is Gar still alone? What is he gonna do when that strange boy wakes up? Was there any food in the fridge when I left? I left Gar some money, but still… God, and Rachel! She has never been on a plane before, what if she gets scared and her powers start acting out? What if she gets night terrors again? Will Donna know what to do? His head is spinning, these thoughts are suffocating him. Only a breathing exercise Bruce had taught him years ago is able to help, but it takes longer than usual. Dick doesn't sleep for the rest of the night.

He's not sure how but when Dick sees a bird in a window of his cell, he knows it's no ordinary bird. It's a raven. It's her. He gets up on his feet despite his knees being weak and wobbly and he smiles, grins like an idiot as he calls out to her. Because it has to be her, right? But all hope leaves him when the creature flies up again with a croak and disappears from his sight, leaving him alone. Dick drops to his knees, feeling more exhausted than ever and curls on the floor, his body shaking from shivers. No one is coming. He brought it on himself. He is forgotten already. But then he hears quiet tapping and something nudges his hand. He opens one eye only to look right into a ruby red one. The bird is here, inside, right in front of his face. It flaps its wings and its feathers turns into dark smoke for a moment. "Rachel…" He breathes out, holding to his last shreds of consciousness. The raven lowers its head, snuggling it to his forehead and before Dick passes out again he hears three words said by this quiet, angelic voice he loves so much: Don't give up.

When they bring Donna back to the Tower and lay her down in the infirmary Dick feels empty and overflowed at the same time. He goes to strip off his new suit and change into something more comfortable but it's a struggle when his hands are shaking so much. He goes back to infirmary and passes by Dawn in the doorway, who walks out of the room with Donna's Wonder Girl belt in hand, not even lifting her eyes up at him. He closes the door and sits down, taking Donna's hand in his but he is able to sit there for only ten minutes before the feeling of her hand growing cold in his makes him want to run away. He makes his way back to his room but takes a step back when he notices two colorful heads in the training room. Gar and Rachel are sitting on one of the benches with their backs to him, talking quietly. Gar is hunched over and Rachel has her arm around him and her head on his shoulder. The sight makes Dick's throat tight. He walks up to them quietly and they only notice him when he's standing in front of them. They simultaneously lift their heads up, showing him their red, swollen from crying eyes and his heart can't take it anymore. He falls to his knees in front of them. "I'm here." he whispers as he takes their hands in his. "I'm right here." he whispers again and his voice breaks. Suddenly two sets of arms are wrapped around him when both Gar and Rachel throw themselves at him, sobbing into his shoulders. He holds them tight, kisses their heads and lets his own tears fall into their hair as he keeps promising them he is not leaving them ever again. 

SEASON 3 HOPES/PREDICTIONS:

First few weeks without Donna and Rachel are absolute torture. Grief is normal, he's been through it before, it's nothing new (maybe more painful and guilt-ridden than he ever experienced). But not having Rachel around and how it impacts him on day-to-day basis after spending every day with her for the past few months is something totally new and unexpected and Dick is pretty sure he's never felt like this before. He's overprotective to the point of being overbearing and Gar points that out to him numerous times. He keeps making her breakfast, forgetting she's not gonna show up in the kitchen when the clock strikes 9 am. He keeps looking into her room like he's expecting to find her there. He constantly checks his phone as if she were able to call from Themyscira, where there's no signal, let alone phones. "Is it what sending your kid out to college feels like?" Hank asks him one evening and Dick almost chokes on his beer. Gar laughs so hard he falls off his chair. 

Rachel does everything she can to not cry in front of Dick when they say goodbye to each other but the moment the plane is in the air, she breaks. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make and seeing Dick so broken definitely didn't help. But she has to at least try to bring Donna back, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself otherwise. So she gets herself together and keeps telling herself to be brave. For Dick. For Donna. For her family.

Gar becomes the center of family's attention and he can't say he doesn't love it. That spot always belonged to Rachel after all, but he was never jealous, nor he resented her for that. She totally deserved it and she can take the spot back when she returns (but he's never gonna let her get away with not saying goodbye to him). He's the 'A-Student' now during training, Dick is putting some extra work to make sure he learns as much as he can. Kory helps him a lot with the trauma CADMUS gave him and works with him on the development of his powers. He tries turning into other animals and after a month of struggling he finally turns into a mouse. Kory walks with him sitting on his shoulder around the whole Tower like the proudest mama in the galaxy and Dick's beaming with pride for the entire week. 

After Dick's off-hand comment that Rachel is missing on so much Gar starts to record vlogs on his phone about what's happening at the Titans Tower so Rachel can watch it and catch up when she's back. The material he gets is pure gold and even when others beg him to delete it, he refuses saying this is too good to be destroyed. 

The day before Rachel's first attempt at resurrection she uses a freshly learned trick to come to Dick in his dream. They meet on the beach she's currently on, meditating. Seeing him for the first time in three months makes her want to cry but she promised herself to be strong so he wouldn't worry and she holds her tears at bay. She falls into his arms with the brightest smile and burrows her face in his chest. He's holding her tight, asking if everything is okay and she nods, not quite trusting her voice at the moment. "I can't keep you here for long, but I needed to see you." she tells him. She's not sharing any details about her plan, the less he knows the better, but he begs her to be careful and stop if it turns out to be too much for her. Dick pulls her to him one last time before she has to serve the connection and presses his lips to her forehead. "I love you." he whispers and she closes her eyes, hugging him tighter. "Come home soon." "I love you, too. And I will."

To find Donna's soul Rachel needs to go to The Underworld, which is a dark, scary place (well, for the most part). The search is difficult and the journey ahead of her is long. On her way she meets other people, souls who sometimes want to help her, sometimes otherwise. She sees Adamson and all the people who were after her, drowning in a river of fire, calling for help. One hand grabs her by the ankle and Rachel looks down right into the hollow eyes of her birth mother. She struggles to set herself free from Angela's hold but eventually the creepy hand lets go of her and Rachel runs away. Not all the meetings are painful though. She gets to see Melisa again - she tells her about Dick and Gar and Kory and everything that happened. "I found him, mom. I found the boy from the circus." she says and they both start to cry. Melisa tells her how proud she is and lets her continue her journey. But the most surprising meeting happens right before the end. Rachel knows their faces only from her dream and the blurry videos she found online. But the resemblance to Dick is undeniable - he has his mother's eyes, his father's hair. Mary Grayson takes her into her arms with tears in her eyes, saying how happy she is to finally meet her. They chat for a while, laugh and cry together like they've known each other their whole lives. "He's so lucky to have you." John tells her. "Tell him we're proud of him." Mary asks her when she is about to leave. "And come back to him in one piece." Rachel nods, holding back tears. "I will, I promise." 

When Rachel arrives at Wayne Manor it's already dark outside. A black car pulls in the driveway. Dick, Kory and Gar are waiting by the main entrance and when the car stops they approach it and Dick opens the door. Rachel is sleeping in the backseat with her head falling on her shoulder and the view is so beautiful and adorable that Dick stops for a moment to just look at her with a dreamy smile on his face. He lifts his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and leans in whispering "welcome back, sweetheart". She smiles without opening her eyes and instantly lifts her arms to wrap them around his neck. They both laugh as he pulls her out the car. She steps away from him for a moment to hug Gar and Kory but sticks herself back to his side immediately after. Gar takes her bag and the car drives away while the 4 of them head towards the door.

She failed (or at least she thinks she failed) and that first night back she cries her eyes out into Dick's chest, apologizing over and over again. "It's okay, honey." he tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Remember what I told you back at the airport? No matter how strong we are, we-" "We can't always change the world." she finishes for him and smiles through her tears. "I know. I've had those words in the back of my head every day." They lay in silence for the next few minutes, Dick's hand slowly stroking Rachel's hair. She hesitates a bit but then starts telling him about meeting his parents. He smiles at her through tears. "I'm so proud of you." he whispers. "You've grown so much. You're so strong. Going away was a good decision, it gave you skills and experience you wouldn't have gotten here. But now I'm just glad I have you back. I was worried sick." Rachel smiles into his chest. "I'm not going anywhere again."

As happy as Dick is to have her back, some part of him wishes Rachel stayed longer on Themyscira. Everything that's happening in Gotham is making him consider sending her and Gar away to some place safe and hidden, The Justice League has a lot of those. But his kids are Titans - they both remind him of that. "You didn't train us to hide." she tells him. "We can handle this." Gar adds. And Dick believes them. And he's so proud his heart can barely take it.

Donna's return comes as a shock to everyone - Hank brings her to the Wayne Manor one day, saying they bumped into each other at some restaurant in the city. "How-" Rachel asks with eyes opened wide in disbelief. Donna smiles at her. "I don't know. I got lost, but… I found my way back somehow." Dick slowly walks up to her, his eyes welling up with tears. "But the spell-" "It worked." Donna explains. "It just needed more time." After that he sweeps her into his arms and extends his hand to Rachel to pull her in as well. He holds them both as close as he can, kissing their heads and swears to himself to never lose either of them again.

FUTURE:

Thoughts about adoption appear in Dick's mind more or less when he brings Gar and Rachel to San Francisco, but they are more of an abstract dream than something that could be real. But as the time goes on those thoughts become more and more solidified and are too big to be ignored. He finally decides to talk to someone about it and that someone is Dawn, mostly because they've had this kind of conversation before. "It's a big responsibility - taking her in. But taking care of a kid is complicated, you know that better than anyone." These words stay with him every day, that's why he goes to her. He struggles to say what he wants to say but she understands and hugs him with tears in her eyes saying she knew he'd do it sooner or later and that she couldn't be happier for him. She helps him with paperwork and prepares him for meetings. He breaks the news to the kids the moment everything is ready. They're suspicious of the 'gifts' he hands them since it's neither's birthday today and there's no holiday. They share a curious glance as they rip off the shiny gift paper to reveal two folders of documents (while Dick almost dies from anticipation and nerves). Gar is the first one to react - his lips slowly stretch into the biggest grin imaginable. "For real? Are you serious? This is real stuff?" his voice grows louder and more excited with each following question and Dick can't help but laugh. Rachel stays quiet though. She stares at the papers in her hands with her brows furrowed. Seconds pass and she's not moving. It's like she's not even breathing. "Rachel?" Kory asks quietly, taking a step her way. And then the floodgates open. Rachel's face twists into a grimace as she starts sobbing uncontrollably. She covers her mouth with her hand to muffle it but there's no use. Dick walks up to her, terrified he did something wrong but then she throws herself into his arms, repeating "thank you" and "I love you" over and over again. Dick pulls Gar to him as well and hugs them both. "You're my kids." He whispers to them. "I love you more than anything in the world. And nothing will ever change that." By the time of Rachel's 16th birthday she and Gar are officially Graysons.

Dick and Kory get married the following year. It's a glamorous but small ceremony with reception held at the Wayne Manor. For the months leading to the big day the kids (with the help of the entire team and few other people) prepare something very special - and the idea comes from Uncle Clay. Turns out Clay, as the closest friend of Dick's parents, owns a small storage unit where he keeps some of the stuff from the circus, including personal things - like a box of journals of Mary Grayson, who had been writing them since she was a child. Clay tells Gar and Rachel a story about how Mary used to write poetry which then she turned into songs and sometimes performed them at the circus. He even still has some of her stage outfits. The three of them get the idea that Gar and Rachel should look through tapes with her performances and pick one song to sing together at the wedding - and that's what they do. They find a beautiful ballad where Clay accompanied Mary on the piano (he teaches Gar how to play it) and in secret the team prepares the whole show. The performance happens during the Bride and Groom's first dance. Gar enters the stage in a tuxedo, says a few words and starts playing. Dick and Kory start dancing slowly but stop for a moment when he starts singing the first verse. They have no idea what's coming next. Rachel, in Mary's dress stands in the crowd surrounding the couple. Hank comes to stand behind her and secretly puts a microphone in her hand. She comes in for the second verse of the song and that's when Dick and Kory stop dancing completely, too surprised to move. They watch in absolute awe as Rachel joins her brother on stage and they finish the song together. When Dick realizes he actually remembers this song from his childhood and that the dress Rachel is wearing belonged to his mother he breaks down in tears. After the song is over the kids join their parents on the dancefloor for a bone-crushing group hug (and to help you imagine this even better this is the song I imagine them singing)

The day Rachel and Gar get their college acceptance letters is one of the most stressful days in their lives. They're in the Tower's kitchen, both holding the envelopes in their hands, afraid to open them. "What are you guys waiting for? Open it!" Kory encourages them. They agree to do it on three. Dick holds his breath, gripping tight his wife's hand. The kids read the letters, fully focused. There's a stretching moment of silence, and then… "I got in!" "Me too!" A lot of screaming and laughing and jumping around happens afterwards, but even in the chaos of all of that Dick can feel a burning knot tightening in his stomach.

And I thought sending Rachel to Themyscira was hard, Dick thinks when they drop Gar and Rachel off at college on their first day. Thankfully it's the same college, but it's in Chicago and it's still half a country away from home. He's not sure how many times he checked already if they have everything they need, if they haven't forgotten to pack something, if they are absolutely sure they know their schedule and so on. Kory, standing next to him with her hands on her growing belly, laughs at him fussing over them. Gar and Rachel just smile and nod, seeing how stressed he is. Yes, Dad, we're sure we have everything. Yes, we checked. Of course we'll call. Yes, Dad. Okay, Dad - and so on. At some point they all start laughing at the ridiculousness of it all but suddenly Dick is getting choked up. His two little birds are leaving the nest and he should be handling it better than he does. Seeing him clearlyon the edge of falling apart Gar and Rachel give him a tight hug. "I'm sorry." he says. "I'm just trying to let you go a little. Let you grow up." "It's that hard?" Rachel asks him and he looks at her - tall, beautiful, confident, brave and smart. Perfect. But he also still sees that little kid he met in Detroit. "It can't be that hard." Gar adds and for a moment when Dick looks at him he thinks he's seeing double - the young, handsome and courageous man who is standing in front of him now and that overexcited cheerful kid who joined them on their little road trip. "It's impossible." Dick tells them, pulling them back into another hug. "It's fucking impossible." Soon they have to go or they will be late for their classes and Dick and Kory are left alone on the campus. "They'll be okay." his wife tells him. He has to swallow down a bile in his throat and push back some tears before answering. "I know."

Oh and remember Dick's old silver Porsche? The one he traded for a minivan? Yeah, he got it back (don't ask him how). Rachel owns it now. Graduation present. And don't worry about Gar, he's got his car too. Grandpa Bruce got him his dream ride.

Woah... This turned out WAAAAAAAAAY longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far (and even if you didn't) I hope you enjoyed.

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

[yuraimi-lee-bunny]

Chronicles of a Red Crackle shipper.

Yeah, I title something weird, but I wanted to give this post a title.

There are some things that I would like to share and announce to this beautiful community UwU:

1.- I know, it's been a month and a week that I haven't published anything about Gray's character analysis. So many things have happened to me: I gathered some information, but then I got sick with the flu for a week,I didn't go to work that whole week and preferred to rest. But now an opportunity has come where I can propose a personal project and I must give my all to be selected from now until April 17.

So maybe it took me a little longer to get the last two parts of the analysis. But seriously, I’m glad to see that the parts of analysis that I have written have been liked, helped to understand it better and even helped as inspiration!

@fuckyeahmiraculous has a beautiful Red Crackle fanfic, and she told me that my analysis inspired her to write the second chapter. Seriously, it's beautiful and well written. Much feeling guaranteed. Here is the link.

So, seriously, thank you very much for all your support, comments on my analysis. You don't know how happy I’m to know that many like it. I warn you that the next two parts are VERY intense and full of a lot of information and feeling.

2.- Do you remember the Red Crackle Streaming I did? Well, I want to return to thank those who attended (and put up with my ugly English LOL) seriously, again, thank you very much!

As I mentioned, I was going to do another stream for those who couldn't attend! And I'll do it! I have it planned for the end of April. Later I will make a post on this specific topic to have everything well organized. Soon I will upload the drawing that I made in that stream.

3.- Between everything I've done, I started watching Brooklyn Nine Nine AND I LOVE THE SERIES! The funny thing is that I couldn't help but see that Jake has certain behaviors similar to Gray's. Just a few like the jokes he makes and how he sometimes thinks. Well, I couldn't help but do a crossover type where basically Jake and Gray would be like "brothers". Yeah, it sounds weird, but I feel like Gray having an older brother like Jake would be a beautiful thing. Plus, there are some scenes from B99 that I want to draw with the CS characters. Like for example drawing Gray and Zach as Jake and Boyle wearing the airplane pilot suits. I swear I will soon. In addition, the scenes between Jake and Amy as a couple are so beautiful that well, it’s inevitable to remember the Red Crakle.

Last but not least: Thank you so much for everything. Believe me that all those with whom I talk and share hype of all kinds of content about Carmen Sandiego and Red Crakle is very nice and special for me. A week ago I had a certain "anxiety attack" and since Thursday I have been a little discouraged, but being with you, seeing all that creativity and kind talks between all the "Red Crackers" shippers fills me with a lot of encouragement and joy. The way we all support each other and share moments is beautiful. Keep making fanfics, fanarts, headcanons, AU's, crossovers, whatever! May that creativity and kindness keep flowing! You don't know how great I feel to be part of this community.

If you need something, or want to talk to me about CS, Red Crackle or anything else, seriously, don't doubt, don't be shy, and do it. I’m here for you. I appreciate you very much, and let's keep it up please. Thank you very much for accepting me in this community. Thank you also because you like my fanarts, more are on the way.

I love you guys!