#They're evil binches and I hate them

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

H2o au, give me strength.

Aka guesswho just figured out how to do read mores in mobile and now tumblr is forever stuck with me rambling merfolk thoughts at 1am isnstead of my poor discord server

Tl;dr: why did they feed the Destroyer humans. Or, you know, just why did they feed the Destroyer. Period. I'm never letting this one go. If it's not a plot hole then the Eridians are so totally not-dead and so totally fucking with us for science.

Also let us team up with the Guardians to take down the Eridians instead of making both of us fight. We're in the same boat here. Let's team up.

I mean, okay, H2o au is slowly being enveloped into canon with every new content drop anyway, so...

Soon.

I guess.

So I am finally. Finally. Done with chappie 5.lovely shit. Means I finally get to work on the. Beyond. Which is just anything past the introductory phase of the black ops squad.

I know chapter 6 will be explaining Barnabas's role in the gang and also bringing Zane into the Black Ops squad that was abandoned by Dahl. And finally getting off Pandora. That's a big one. But after that I want to lead into the Obsidian Black (part 1) and Junpai-7 (with the Pandoran interlude between). But I also want to do the Venus Ambassador arc before both of those, just to solidify everyone as a team. Because it's a good story Brent.

The pronlem: my dumbshit idiot brain is like "OK. Good. But. Consider: Tannis."

Because Tannis is my life of course, I love that crazy binch. So instead of doing literally any of the stuff I need to do to get to rewriting Bl3 and beyond. My brain is: fumk it. You're gonna write beyond Bl3. The Eridian war. Team up the guardians"

Because I'm still kinda salty that the Guardians are just basic bitch mad at humanity. Instead of making the Eridians a parallel to the corporations in universe, and having the Guardians and humanity team up to take them down (which could enforce the whole 'don't get mad at the people the higher ups tell u to be mad at' dealio with corporations and all that. COMMENTARY!). like imagine. Humanity has these corporations. They test on their people. Humanity is a shit show. And then it is revealed that the Eridians are actually testing on humanity. Where is your God now, bitch.

So anyway. I've just been vibing with the Driver and Tannis for a bit. I wanna bring her to Sanc-III but I get the feeling Zane and Moze would both be VERY against that. Plus I don't even think she'd want to leave Junpai-7 since the planet is her testing zone. Her place of power. She's its unseen ruler at this point. Packing up and booking would probably have horrible consequences.

Context: the Driver was tasked with experimenting with new (or alternative) types of Guardians (like a handful of other smart Guardians across the universe were also tasked with). The Overseer tests those new types of Guardians, or pre-existing Guardians, to ensure they're up to the task. The Watcher was supposed to guard Eleseer and the Vault of the Sentinel and look for potential threats, then send the Guardians out to stop them.

I don't know how Scourge fits into this line, but I imagine he is some sort of strict rule follower who got way into his own head and defected from the others.

I mean, not to say the others haven't also corrupted from their thousands of years being stuck in the same mindless job over and over. But Scourge definitely went off the deep end with no new rules to adhere to, since the Eridians abandoned them (again! Think of the parallels, Gearbox! Eridians -> DAHL in BL1!!!). The Overseer is... On the edge, I think. She's definitely trying to escape the job she's stuck in. I think the Watcher is the most stable out of all of them, probably because she has the most 'free reign'.

The Driver is... Bored. Extremely bored. She began testing her limits, playing god with the people of Junpai-7. Using her experiments as her avatars when she could just to see, to get some form of interaction with the world around her. She sort of became like the Eridians in that sense, just on a smaller scale. Also, she'd been micromanaging the planet for so long she figured she had every variable in-check, but she didn't, and now she's obsessed with getting information regarding the things she can't control (friggen humanity).

I think if any one of the Guardians resembles the Eridians the most in this AU, it's her. And when she teams up with the gang to go against the council, they'll probably use that against her.

The difference is she was physically trapped doing her job for thousands of years due to her programming (thanks Eridians). The Eridians chose to do all of this and nobody forced them into this position. They just wanted to see what would happen. This is all an experiment for them to watch >:(. Mayhaps even entertainment.

I will say it 1 billion times: I do NOT trust the Eridians. No sir. Not after Nyriad talked about the Destroyer. Plot holes be damned, that set my alarm bells off so god damn fast. "we had to feed it. We had to feed it humans, specifically. Even though its hunger is endless and feeding it changes literally nothing. And if not feeding it would kill it, that'd be good because we want it dead. But no, let's fed it. Humans. The people we are now asking for help. Yes. Those humans. Even though there are hundreds of other life forms. And also plants. And if it's hunger is endless maybe it will eat rocks, too. All this sand everywhere. But no. Let's just feed it humans."

BULLSHIT. THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING THOSE DAMN ERIDIANS.

I don't trust like that.

And all the humans depicted in statues and murals everywhere in Vaults that haven't been opened/explored since the Eridians vanished????? Nah. And THE FORGETTING that's completely brushed over??? Nah nah nah. I'M GOOD. these alien binches are so totally up to something.

I don't trust them at fucking all.

Even the Overseer hints at them not actually being fully gone.

So anyway.

H2o au is a way for me to have fun while fixing/rewriting lore and making more lore and also having merfolk in borderlands because. I need it ❤️. I also use it to answer lore questions I have and fix disappointing plot hooks. And it is being unintentionally (I fu king hope) incorporated into canon every time a new dlc drops and they reference something I've written about before.

Is weird.

Kthxbye.

[wavebiders]

Operation: "Ignore the Shitty Live Action Winx Show and Just Rewatch the Cartoon for the First Time in Almost a Decade" part 46:

Mandatory Time Off

The way in-show they always translate pixies to "elfjes" but still use Pixie in this title card

"It's been a rough time for you girls too" "that's putting it lightly" drag her Stella

Welp! A plant killed Avalon the day is saved. Rest in pieces binch

Oh hey you're sending them on the vacation they told you they needed 7 episodes ago good job Faragonda

At least Paladium is still emotionally a twink. I miss his old design sm😭

"What about the classes we'll miss?!" Flora I love that you're being a nerd about this but you haven't been taking classes this year anyway lmao

My boy!!! I have located my boy!!! Has he run away with this pixie and is that why he didn't do shit when his girl turned adorably evil?

Palladium. Livvie. Just let That Man die

The boys! Hate to say that I have not been missing them at all😅

Pour one out for Aisha. She's gonna spend these next few episodes third-wheeling several dramatic couples

Fhhdf you could just see Riven mentally counting the seconds before saying "hey" to Musa so he wouldn't sound too eager😂

Oooh looks like Bloom hasn't entirely kicked those dark vibes yet. I mean I think that's what they're trying to show. I don't actually think she's being snappier than the other girls but it's towards Sky so it's Serious™️

Riven has never been more relatable to me. It's ok buddy. I also wouldn't know what to do there. Ski hats are supposed to be warm😭

Actually I'm adding Riven to my autistic Winx character collection now that was too big of a mood

...that line alone cost Brandon his spot as my favorite speciallist. Riven you're up

Timmy and Tecna are finally being cute again thank fuck

Me: I don't care for the pixies

Also me: If anything were to happen to Livvie I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

See? Riven actually bought the bear thing! Autistic king

I can't believe F*te made Stella the irrationally jealous one when there is only one blonde royal on this show who qualifies for that role

I am way too entertained by them not even asking for an explanation before undressing at Bloom's request sdfgcdf Like whatever her weird-ass ideas normally work why not

Also Bloom is not even struggling to carry Aisha on her shoulders lmao She was able carry Icy last season too she's just freakishly strong

This is the fight between two bad bitches I didn't know I needed

Did they make a fucking glider?? That's both stupid and awesome

Palladium gay but also bad taste in men

Hello random magical upgrade that has never even been mentioned before. Eh I like the character work required to get it so I'm cool with it

Especially for a kids show this actually gives an universe reason for the character development to be explicitly explained to the younger audiences

[ronanwazlib]

here's my stupid addition to crack for this fandom

ok so.... here me out....

Hogwarts Mystery takes place in 1984, right?

And incredibles (2) is set in the 60s. (1962 to be exact)

The entire time I was watching the movie I was like WHO THE FUCK does Evelyn deavers remind me of??????

And no it's not this binch

And so I'm like.... wracking my brain tryna figure out during the movie who

THIS

REMINDS

ME

OF

and then I get that stupid notification telling me mcgonagall is gonna own my ass if I don't have perfect attendance or whatever.... and it came to me

ITS THIS FUCKING HOE

that HAIR

The evil smirk

THE SNARKY HUMOR

THE CYNICISM

ITS H E R

So how about this... deavor is taken to jail at the end right? Well she's a fucking geNIUS.... what if she busts out. What if she flees to England to hide in the 70s and reinvents herself... what if she meets someone fromthe wizarding world and at first thinks they're a super and hATES THEM but then she realizes they hate all regular people "muggles" for the same reasons she does (using stuff for convenience, or pointless materialism, screen addiction, etc) and that MAGIC combINED with her inventions could BE SOO AMAZING.

Maybe she's even a squib... and that's why she resents her brother who's so good at CHARMING people

They get married. They have a snot nosed brat. Obviously Evelyn with her ambition would be in slytherin so it makes sense Merula would end up there with her desire to impress people rather than just bc once again slytherin = evil. Whether or not they were actually involved with you know who or if that was just a coverup to send them to azkaban for trying to break the laws between magic and technology to attack people is irrelevant but....

MRS EVELYN SNYDE AND HER BITCHY DAUGHTER ARE MY NEW HEADCANON even tho Evelyn was obviously gay for Helen parr she'd get over it