#hp shitpost

[danadiadea]

The arts of Harry with a hooked nose are so hilarious to me cause they make him look like SUCH a fucking hypocrite lmao

[wizengamot-chiefwarlock]

[part 2 of severely underrated humour from the books]

why does no one ever talk about this scene?? it was so freaking funny like nothing can ever match how unhinged the books were omg

(also- if you know other underrated hilarious book scenes pls pls pls send me an ask and i'll add it to the series)

[bisexual-biohazard5]

Me looking through the hp characters to pick a favourite:

No not that one- Maybe but nah too basic- that ones an asshole and that- *Sees Percy Weasley*

*GASP*

A GINGER HAIRED MAN WITH ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME, COMPLEX STORY, ANGST AND AUSTIC CODED WITH A SPRINKLE OF GAY???

Yep, you're coming home with me. Say bye to your family....You can take Oliver with you tho

[hpseeker99]

Ginny: I love murder mysteries Harry, trying to impress Ginny: I've been a suspect in four murder cases

[havingaverydrarryday]

Drarry

[ghostscarface]

Harry Potter and the muggle therapist

Session Seven : Relatives

Harry: "My aunt and uncle locked me in a cupboard for ten years."

Therapist (horrified): "Finally, a metaphor I understand."

Harry: "No. It was an actual cupboard."

[in-flvx]

You just know hagrid wreaked absolute havoc on the local ecosystem with all the giant invasive predators he adopted and even genetically modified himself just to set them free in the Scottish country side. Like, we only know about the spiders, the one Charlie took away, fluffy, and the blast ended skrewts for sure. Oh. And grawp of course.

Who knows what else he introduced to the grounds of hogwarts. For all we know the giant squid is also one of his babies (30y are enough for the merpeople to build statues of them fighting it. Even 10y are)

[ldrloversblog]

Shit post cause I’m bored

[bi-snape]

Happy Snape family au

Eileen: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Tobias: Can everyone in this godforsaken family please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Severus: Ya know... it might be.

🦋

Tobias: What did Severus do this time? Eileen: More like WHO did Severus do this time?

🦋

Eileen: Severus is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind. Tobias: Boys/Girls? Severus: Homicide.

🦋

Eileen, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Severus: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Severus: Here you go. Eileen: Severus: Tobias: Why am I here?

🦋

Eileen: When Severus was born, the gods said, "He's too perfect for this world." Tobias: Please. When he were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

🦋

Tobias: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. Severus: Hot dog costumes! Tobias: I’m sorry, what? Severus: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably ma, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Ma hates hot dogs, so she probably won’t eat us. Tobias: Are you saying that your mother would rather eat us than hot dogs? Eileen: I DO hate hot dogs.

🦋

Eileen, holding out a cookie for Severus: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Kid Severus: *Ugly crying* Eileen, holding out another cookie for Tobias: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Tobias, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

🦋

Severus: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Eileen: Eileen: I'm gonna tell him. Tobias: Don't you dare.

[chocfrog-enjoyer]

It must have been really awkward for Quirrell to shower with Voldemort on the back of his head

[troythecatfish]

What actually helped the franchise become popular

[danadiadea]

[wizengamot-chiefwarlock]

there are three types of fan reactions to snape.

type 1: he bullied harry and other kids for no reason, i hate him

type 2: he was bullied and misunderstood, i love him

type 3: ok i guess he kinda sucks but look at him *insert gif of snape swooping around like a bat* hehe silly

[bisexual-biohazard5]

I always see posts on how people headcannon the Weasleys as like really attractive but then they just hate Percy. Like. Be fr

This man was tall and lanky, red headed with blue eyes and 100% had a small waist with that figure. He was a heart throb and just didn't realize it.

Like the Weasleys could be on a day out to Hogmeads. They'll go to a cafe and whilst they're looking at their menus, they notice a group of guys staring at Percy, who is sitting in the seat next to the window so he gets a perfect view to distract him with anything.

They're like, "Percy, they're people staring at you."

And Percy's like, "Oh I know." And in his head he thinks they're making fun of him or making negative comments but he looks unaffected because when it comes to insecurities, people don't always show them and hid it.

And the Weasleys can clearly see the guys staring at him, talking about how much of a pretty boy he is and how he's cute. The Weasleys are like, "Why are you so unaffected?"

Percy, who is used to people staring at him and convinced himself that they're judging him or something says, "Oh it's normal. This isn't the first time."

And he's probably right. This man is like 6 foot 3, obviously people are gonna stare at him. Everyone stares at things that are rare or abnormal to them. Like a tall red head with blue eyes. Come on people, open your eyes. THIS MAN WAS A HEART THROB OKAY.

The Weasleys are just like, 'People find him attractive and he doesn't even know.'

[hpseeker99]

*yelling coming from the living room.* Ron: Ginny! Come here Ginny! See what I mean! Ginny: No, I don’t see what you mean! Hermione: *stopping in the doorway where Harry and Luna are leaning against the doorframe eating popcorn.* What’s going on? Luna: They’re fighting over whose name would make a better dogs name. Hermione: They’re what? Ginny: Ron is a much better name for a dog! Ron: Sit, Ginny. Ginny: I’m right. Ron: Ginny, drop it! Ginny: I’m going to hit you. Ron: Staaaay! Ginny, stay! See it’s a great name for a dog. Ginny: *chucking something across the room at Ron* Harry: *from the doorway* Fetch Ron! Fetch! Ginny: Ah ha! Harry: Ginny's right. Ron does work better. Ginny: Boom! Harry has spoken. Ron: What about Harry for a dog's name? Harry: No. Ginny: Harry's a cat’s name. Hermione: Cat. Luna: So a cat. Harry: Suck it Weasley. Neville: *entering the room* What’s going on? Luna: What about Neville?! Neville: What? Everyone: Come here, Neville! Good boy, Neville. Who’s a good dog! Good job, Neville. Neville: I’m scared.

[havingaverydrarryday]