#Toby my boy I love you

[27-royal-teas]

pros of joining the fob fandom

everyone is super sweet and nice and likes what I have to say and they’re all creative and good writers and talented and incredible and kind to me and way too cool and have good ideas and and and

cons of joining the fob fandom

I get emotional over a picture of middle aged men smiling at each other. im not nearly mentally stable enough to feel this many emotions all the time and you fuckers feel the need to pull more emotions from out of me all the time

[jtownraindancer]

Blore & Armstrong Running on The Same Wavelength: A Collection

[kifflepiffles]

I LOVE THIS MOD I LOVE THIS MOD I LOVE THIS MOD I LOVE THIS MOD I LOVE THIS MOD I LOVE--

[professionalbalbberer]

I have a new dead boy detectives obsession did I tell you that yet lol

[moonchild-in-blue]

i need to take out my brain and put it in ice

[catbycoded]

two headed boy(toby talking about beau: torn between worlds, one foot in the basin and one foot in maycheste), all floating in glass(reference to glass chalet and trying not to think about it. their home in astradell is often regarded to as a glass house, very public with little to no privacy, something almost like an enclosure or a museum of the “perfect life”) the sun it has passed, now it’s blacker than black(reference to the sun/moon motif between beau and simon) i can hear as you tap on your jar(regarding their home as a glass enclosure once more, like a moth trapped inside a glass jar)(or like a body preserved in a jar for inspection, as interesting specimens tend to be) i am listening to hear where you are(toby desperately looking for beau during his time as a missing persons)(could also be interpreted as toby after beau’s passing: desperately searching for any sign that her soul is still around. he has a tendency to do so) i am listening to hear where you are(the repitition pushing toby’s dedication to her, only when it’s too late; he’s listening to hear where she is, always.)

two headed boy(another repeated line: he is still torn up by the fact that beau was double sided) put on sunday shoes(sunday or church shoes are often the best ones they own; toby is recalling a time they were both well-dressed during a maycheste festival. it is also a reference to religion, which is a prominent theme of the festival, and a theme of simon’s as well, who is introduced during this verse) and dance around the room to accordion keys, with a needle that sings in your heart(here beau is dancing to the music simon is playing at the festival, and singing along as well to create a two-sided harmony between sibeau)(furthermore, the song later leads into a song titled “the fool”, which is led by an accordion and could be the song beau is dancing to. the title could be a reference to his feelings of foolishness about toby and simon’s relationship) catching signals that sound in the dark(furthering beau’s perspective of toby and simon: beau is picking up on signals toby’s unknowingly giving off, with toby suddenly pulling back on their sexual life once simon is reintroduced) catching signals that sound in the dark(repeated, toby is guilty and hung up about beau’s feelings in relation to his unloyalty. this line also leads into the next verse, which pushes the theme of beauby’s sexual life)

we will take off our clothes(toby looking back at the times their sexual relations were healthy and alive) and they’ll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine(now recalling the basin’s control of beau, painting imagery of the basin placing fingers through the most sensitive part of the body and controlling her actions) and when all is breaking everything that you could keep inside(now leading into the breaking of their relationship after the reveal of beau’s relation with the basin, it feels like the whole world is breaking apart inside of not only toby but in beau as well) now your eyes aren’t moving now, they just lay there in their climb(the final act of their story is beau’s death. this also alludes to the reading of a book, when the eyes stay still and the head moves down the page to read, which is a state toby will always remember beau in.)

[sigurism]

Jonah & Corey Boys in the Trees (2016) Dir: Nicholas Verso

[leviiackrman]

TOBIN DRAKE - Uncharted [full colour]

[despairforme]

me, who has 9 other blogs: it sure is nice to only have one muse

[stump-salsa]

Me when I see a ‘fun gang’ post and lancer isn’t there

[lylilorden]

today has almost managed to redeem this entire year-to-date holy shit

[27-royal-teas]

I keep thinking about this part in The Phoenix: “the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ you broke our spirit says the note we pass” and like I know I talked about this a lot in my essay where I discussed this song but I’m honestly so proud of myself for making the connection here because it’s so obvious he’s talking about a note job. a note job is a type of robbery designed to keep things on the down low while raising as little suspicion and commotion as possible. the robbers pass a note to the bank teller with the deal- this is a robbery, we have a gun, give us money. so here pete is connecting so we can take the world back with a heart attack. we are taking the world because it will not give us what we want. we have to do it ourselves with as little commotion as possible. we are the robbers in the scenario, and if the world- the tellers- won’t give us what we want, we will take it as peaceful as we can. you broke our spirit says the note we pass. I can’t get over it.

[aldercaps]

There isn't really a point to this post. I just needed to put these words outside of myself, to give it somewhere to go.

going under a readmore because I had a lot to say apparently (this is not a happy post, nor does it have a satisfying ending)

Toby was a defacto birthday gift to my eleven-year-old self, after I had pestered my parents for over a year on getting a kitten. He was the first cat that was truly "mine", in that I was his favourite person and he held the dearest place in my heart. He turned ten years old this year, in March, which was also the year anniversary of when I last saw him.

He's doing well, last I heard, living with one of my mum's friends, who I don't know. My memory of last year is bad enough that I couldn't remember that it had been march when I saw him last, I thought I'd had more time. I didn't get to see him off, mum dropped him off when I was in class. I hadn't lived with him since 2021, when I moved out into my first flat. I wanted to take him with me, but it is almost impossible to find student housing that is pet friendly, and so I said goodbye to him (temporarily) as my mother's new boyfriend moved in. When my mother decided to move with her boyfriend to the other side of the country to an inner city apartment, she told me she wouldn't be taking Toby with her. I scrambled to find someone I knew that would take him in, just for the rest of 2022 until I could take him with me, but I couldn't manage it. I haven't seen him since march last year, wasn't able to come with my mum to say goodbye. It's taken me so many tries to try and write a post like this but I haven't managed to without being overcome with emotion.

When I was in high school mum always insisted that I take Toby with me when I move, since he was so attached to me and I was the one most willing to put up with his antics. He would play ambush with me, hiding in the dark shadows around the house in the evenings, waiting to jump out at me when I least expected it. He remains the only cat I've ever had that enthusiastically enjoyed belly rubs, and would stretch out on his back over my lap for them. We would play a game where, most days an hour before dinner, he would come into my room, and yell at me until I looked at him. Then, he would walk out of the room and wait for me just outside. Then, he would walk with me downstairs (if I paused he would pause, and jump up to headbutt my hand) to the kitchen where the cat kibble was kept, and do a running leap onto his stool to signify that he wanted dinner now, please.

When I was about 12-13 I took to the idea of training him, and after a couple of years of sporadic practise I could pat a chair or surface in the house if he was in the room, and he would do an enthusiastic running leap onto it, and of course received either a treat or bounteous pats as a reward.

He was my heart animal, and I love him so deeply. I try to console myself that he's living the high life as a single cat in a loving household, which he always preferred (enjoying the company of humans much more than other cats), but I think the not knowing is what gets me. The last photo of the four is the most recent photo I have of him, courtesy of my mother, from November last year. My sister told me that after I moved out he would walk into my old room and cry for minutes on end, or look for me throughout the house for weeks afterwards. I visited him as often as I could, once every two weeks or so, but I never felt properly welcome there with my mum's boyfriend there, since we never got on well at all. Later last year my sister said something that i think sums up the situation well: "I can't believe we lost our childhood home and our cats for some guy mum broke up with two months after she moved." Mum still has Cassie, and I can't blame her for making decisions that she thought would add to her happiness, but I don't know if I will ever get over losing Toby like that. He was one of my reasons to keep living through the worst years of my worst mental health, my light in the darkness. He was a constant I didn't know I needed until I lost it. The grief I've felt after losing him is something that has confirmed to me how much I need a companion animal in my life, and the past two years of not living with an animal of any kind has really cemented that for me.

Anyway. if you got this far, give your pets a kiss or a scritch for me, and tell them you love them.

[emile-hides]

My mind is plagued by them so badly if anyone wants to do me the biggest solid and send me asks about them I know no one goes here anymore but this is for me to say my many thoughts at a void I just need a single prompt

[hideyourautumn-milkteeth]

Man I hate how little my ex gave a shit about just how much they fucked me up. Sorry the way people treat me actually fucking effects me, y'know, as it usually does for every person ever.

We didn't just grow apart or come to a mutual agreement or some shit. I had a trauma related breakdown after a bad relapse in my mental health and you took that as your green light to cut me out of your life after THREE YEARS of claiming to care about me. FOR NO GOOD JUSTIFIED FUCKING REASON YOU SELFISH SHITHEAAAD.

You ghosted me, lied to me, blamed me and called me stupid for getting upset. Then admitted to the fact that you didn't actually give a shit about our relationship, even as a friendship. YOU LITERALLY ADMITTED THAT TO ME AND THEN JUDT TOLD ME TO FUCKING "GET OVER IT" THRREEEE WHOLE FUCKING YEARS OF GIVING SO MYCH OF MYSELF TO YOU AND IT MEANT NOTHIIIIING!!! NOTHING!!!

YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME YOU WERE EFFECTED SO MUCH BY SOMEONE JUST NOT SAYING SOMETHING TO YOU DIRECTLY ONCE. BUT I'M AN IDIOT FOR GETTING EFFECTED BY ////THAT////????? TOBI DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK ITS FUCKING UNJUSTIFIED TO NGET FUCKED UP OVER THAT???

I WAS SOOOO FUCKING VULNERABLE WITH YOU AND YOU LITERALLY STABBED ME IN THE BACK AND WALKED ALL OVER ME. You fucked me over and lied to me and then acted so much higher and wiser than me all cause you didn't give a shit. Do you have ANY idea how much that fucked up my self esteem??? My confidence?? MY ABILITY TO TRUST AND GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE??? IN ANY REAL CAPACITY??

I FEEL INCAPABLE OF LETTING MY FUCKING GUARD DOWN . YOU RIPPED THE ONLY GOOD PARTS I HAD LEFT AND RAN TF AWAY WITH THEM. WELL CONGRATS ON GETTING AWAY WITH IT IG.

[painlandpalace]

dead boy detectives reading list

with the show finally out i figured it was a great time to share my reading list again! check it out below the cut 👻☠️🔎

-

⏳ the sandman #25 (1991)

this is their first appearance!

🐇 the children's crusade (1993)/free country: a tale of the children's crusade (2015)

1. the children's crusade #1

(2. black orchid annual #1

3. animal man annual #1

4. swamp thing annual #7

5. doom patrol annual #2

6. arcana annual #1)

7. the children's crusade #2

alternatively you can just read free country. whether or not you read the annuals i recommend reading free country's middle chapter

!!! in place of the annuals there is an additional middle chapter that was created for the book "free country: a tale of the children's crusade" where it is placed between the two children's crusade issues. the boys don't actually appear in most of the annuals (they are in two panels of swamp thing and appear in doom patrol) and reading them isn't necessary but i figured i would include them as they are part of the story.

❄️ winter's edge #3 (2000)

this is an anthology. their part is the 'books of magic: waiting for good dough' story starting on page 19

🐦‍⬛ the sandman presents: the dead boy detectives (2001, 4 issues)

i believe the tv show's esther finch was partially based on this run's villain.

*

(they do have a part in 'death: at death's door' from 2003. it's short and really just a retelling of events from sandman #25 with some minor changes. the entirety of their appearance in death: at death's door is included at the end of the next comic im listing so i am not really adding the death: at death's door book to the list)

☠️ the dead boy detectives (2005, one-shot)

this book was made by jill thompson in a very cute manga-esque style

👻 ghosts (2012), time warp (2013), the witching hour (2013)

these three are anthologies. the story 'the dead boy detectives in: run ragged' runs through all of them. 'run ragged' kicks off the next run.

🔮 from the pages of the sandman: dead boy detectives (2013, 12 issues)

this is the comic where crystal is introduced! a book collecting all 12 issues titled 'dead boy detectives by toby litt & mark buckingham' was released in 2023

🔎the sandman universe: dead boy detectives (2022, 6 issues)

the most recent run, centered around some really interesting thai mythology and featuring multiple edwin moments that i am sure you will love

-

and that's everything! i also recommend buying the omnibus if you can. it includes everything minus the 2022 run plus some additional bonus content!

i hope this is helpful! feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the comics. dead boy detectives is my number one interest so i should be able to answer

have fun reading! 👻