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#UGHH. im just rly fucking scared
nomaishuttle · 1 year
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freaking out again . kills myself
#my mom said she could cover half my ticket but she said that when the ticket was 400 and then i found one for like 200 but i dont have#enough to get that even not even half of it but i think shell still only pay half which is fair#but also she wont have money until the end of the month but im supposed to leave on the sixth#so i need to get the tickets like right now before the prices go up but i cant bc i Dont have the money#but i rly rly rly need to get this figured out#bc im not just visiting for fun. i also have to get my root canal finished#bc the fake tooths literally chipping off i neeeddd it finished and my old insurance is covering it so i need. i just need it#but i dont know how to bring it up again like. and i dont. ayfhfjrbffngkgngj#i need to get my license updated as well like badly so that i have an id for the uhm. flighg#i have a rpettyy good amt of time to do it but i cant drive myself soi rly rly rly need to vet that#UGHH. im just rly fucking scared#i cant sleep im like..worrying so bad but i cant do anyrhing right now#and my dad gave me a hundred bc my acct was in rhe negative bc of the fucking. late payment things which i dont even know how they happened#bc i had enough money for the things i ws buying but its. whatever idk#im just rly rly rly fucking worried again#im judt like. im rly rly rly freaking out#and the job is like. he said hedgetvack tome by the end of the week but today issaturday and i didnt hear anything#but even if i get it it pays on the 20th and 5th of everry month#so i wouldnt get enouguh money in time to get a ticket i dont think#even if i started working like. day after tmrw thatd be what. 3 days pay b4 the paycheck and idek when the pay epriod is ykwim#im just..rly rly rly scared basically#idk what to do at all and its. once this trip is over itll literally be fine i just need this trip to be over and finished and then i cn#figure out job#but i rly rly tly need the reply#bc i havent been likee. applying for new jobs jic i get this one Which was fuckin stupid#im just like.UGH!! im rly rly freaked out is all
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byuntrash101 · 3 years
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It's true!! I think a lot of us will really love what you write. I can just feel it through your writing that you love what you make. Your stories are my stress reliever. Med school is hard lmao.
Anyway do not worry for sub!bbh, I have read all of your works here and part 3 and part 6 of paraphilia was something else. Your vision of sub!bbh is really good. It reminds me of the fake audios of bbh moaning ahhhh.
And BDLM!! wow I rly can't wait, it has been months and I just can't wait to NOT trust anything in the story hahaha. Keep doing what you do Cat. Don't forget to take rests. Stretch those pretty fingers of yours.
Also, are you buying the teolaegi merch. Cause I have no idea how to buy through the site lol I know this isn't related to your blog. I'm just curious hehe. That's it.
🍔
Helloo my delicious 🍔 anon!!! Thank you so much for that! I'm so happy to know my stories are your safe haven! Med school is mega hard! So hang in there! You'll get throught it you're smart and amazing kee pushing i believe in you <3
I do put A LOT of myself in the things i publish so you have no idea how encouraging and sweet it sounds to get an ask like yours. Thank you for making me smile!
Oooof don't talk to me about these moaning audios!!!!! ughh i love them so fucking much and listenned to them an unhealthy number of times! (not me having all the baekkhyun audios saved on multiple devices just so i know i don't lose them or can listen to them at any given time) (no i dont have a problem) (yes i do pls help)
BDLM is starting to really stress me out because it's been so long and im soooo scared of the reponses it will have plus its still far from over. i'm kinda not seeing the end of it at this point BUT!!! I'm planning on working on it today i hope!
Thank you so luch for cheering for me it means a lot! without interections exactly like this one with you i would have logged off forever back in september. so thank you for keeping my passion alive <3
I'm not buying the merch... i will def buy anything exo does regarding music like solo/sub unit and group albums, concert dvd and live albums or even photobooks but i'm not huge fan of small gadgets like plushies or like keychains or something :/ so i didn't even look into it and tbh i'm buying a house right now and im saving up to buy some furniture so i dont sit on the floor when i move in haha
Sorry i hope you find a way to figure it out also... if you do get it do you think you can come by again and drop a photo in my asks ? >///< i'd love to see it i think the plushies are so so cute!
Thank you so much for chatting with meeeee i can never say this enough but this is the lifeblood of this blog! Thank you so much to you! You're my juicy and beautiful 🍔 anon.
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paul-patts-blog · 8 years
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Lauryl’s Wishlist and Resolutions
Berlioz
More Music Stuff: I’ve gotten to do stuff with Ber/music in the past but a lot of it has been me rping with me and sending him to festivals and concerts. I’d like to see him interact with some of the musically-inclined people in town-- maybe even collaborate? I have some subgoals for this:
Go to concert/festivals with another character: I think rping an arc would be so fun and I personally love concerts/festivals so.
Produce someone else’s music: Ber will be starting uni and having school projects...he will need guinea pigs.
Write more music blog stuff: I’ve done very few, rather casual posts in the past about artists Ber likes-- reviews etc. I would love to post more of this (maybe even through BDRP radio? /looks at radio)
Anxiety Arc: I really want Ber to start learning about his anxiety and working through it. Specifically, he needs to go to a therapist, haha.
Sexuality: Ber’s come a long way since I got him, but he still feels majorly ‘out of place’ in the LGBTQIA community. I’d like to explore more of those feelings somehow. I got a few ideas. 
Kiara
Discover her passions!! Kiara doesn’t really know what she wants to do with her life and I want her to try a bunch of stuff as she figures it out. So does your character have a cool hobby? Let Kiara do that cool hobby with ur character!
Race and Identity: one important thing for me when I got Kiara and picked Halsey was dealing with her struggle with her appearance and how she felt ‘out of place’ with the Lyons and as a POC in general. I’d like to explore this conflict more.
Continue to deal with her issues: Kiara needs to keep going to therapy and she needs to admit to herself she has problems that she is denying please my daughter. 
Best Friend to lovers: I think this trope would be rly good for Kiara because too often she sees people as “romantic options’ first and not as the people they really are. I would love a slow burn romance for Kiara that surprises both her and me, really.
Hades (oh boy)
Re-learn how to use his powers-- and maybe the way to do this is to like.. do something heroic tbh? instead of always burning people up and fuckin’ everyone UP. Yeah, I want Hades to do something heroic. 
Leave Swynlake: I want Hades story to take him away from Swynlake and back again
Chester
Pending tbh you will all see
Milla
Board stuff: specifically, I’d like to see Milla start enacting new strictures for magicks. I’d love for her to try to manipulate this type of stuff through the other board members
Get a magical object or something magical: Whether through the Merlin’s objects or otherwise, I would love Milla to actually seek magic herself.
MILF Reigns Supreme: I love exploring Milla’s sexuality-- it’s one of my fave things that i’ve done with her. I’d love her to get more boy toys (maybe even girl toys) and tbh, I would be open, if it’s right, to have that relationship get more complicated than just sex.
Miscarriage: That being said, this is a rather dark storyline but Milla is obsessed with control and to miscarry would be-- the opposite of having control. Anyone up for it?
Nala
RP her more in general lmao
Get her more female friends!! She really doesn’t have a lot of good female relationships (part of that is because many of her relationships have ended up dropping). But Nala deserves more friendships
Take Nala on dates! I also want Nala to try to date a little. She’s so work-focused, like lots of my characters, so this would be a new side to her that I haven’t gotten to explore
Have Nala literally kick ass/para with some sort of physical/action element to it: Okay so we say it jokingly, but after Nala’s surgery and recovery I’d love for her to actually whoop somebody’s ass even if it’s just while going back to kickboxing. Nala’s identity as an athlete is super important to her-- whenever I write about Nala’s relationship to her body, I get chills, because she loves her body so much and is so centered in it. So it would be fun to do a physical-heavy para.
Smut tbh for the same reasons as i just said.
Milo
Also rp him more in general lmao
Finish merlin’s objects/write more essays
Finish Cave Excavation-- find a Merlin’s object
Desk sex
Wow these are all so specific unlike my others
Explore his sexuality: Milo is definitely somewhere on the ace spectrum  (gray, demi what have u) and so exploring that with his girlfriend Jane (maybe she’s into it one night, he’s not, she wants to try stuff that he doesnt’... u know, just those kinds of conversations) would be really complicated and fun. As someone who is on the ace spectrum myself, It’s also kind of important to me to try to honor that side of him and acknowledge it in play-- along WITH the smut.
Slay a demon/be a hero: ok bc just think about nerdy milo thatch with his glasses all askew having accidentally saved the day. I love it.
Kiki
Get kidnapped: Kiki has powerful magic blood come get her
Break her broom
Best Friends to lovers/ slow burn romance: mentioning this for kiki too, since Kiki hasn’t been kissed ever and is very romantic, I’d love to play out a good ol’ teen romance with someone. But consideirng Kiki’s crazy hectic life, yeah, it’s gonna have to really evolve.
Rajah
TIGER OUT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE: For whatever reason-- to save them or because he’s scared or stressed or loses control.
Get injured: That being said, I’d love to have Raj get shot or get hurt while trying to do his job, mostly because Raj is a charge first, ask questions later type of guy but also because-- since he heals faster-- if he’s in the hospital, it could give him away. (Can anyone say hospital bREAK)
More friends! Raj has a few, but he needs 2 get out more smh
Introduce Jyoti to people: I want his little sister to come see him and I want Raj to have people to introduce her to! Jyoti will bring a lot of the past back to Raj’s life which he currently keeps super hidden.
Anita:
Biwakening. Make it happen.
Night on the town
One night stand tbh
Dating around-- specifically, blind date/double date with someone this would be hiLARIOUS for me
Stand up to someone (tbh Cruella)
Anita Explores Her Painting: Anita doesnt’ take her talent seriously and I want that to change. I’d love to do some more stuff with her art including--
Nude portraits anyone?
Anita teaches fingerpainting!! Anita gets her very own income and is thus empowered thru painting !!! ah!
Paint fight :D
More Volunteering: what i like about anita is that though she is an introvert, she loves to be involved in her community. If you have any town projects or somethin’ you need volunteers for, ask Anita!!
The Great Prince
Also get into a physical fight of some kind; i’d love for him to defend the forest or Bambi or somethin’ as the deer. I think RPing that would be really fun for me
Explore more areas of the forest: I’ve already started to invent some parts of the forest as I go, but I’d like to try to see if I can’t put Prince in some of these deeper parts. If your character wants to get lost in the woods-- hit me up.
Make more human connections/get in touch with his human side: Hopefully, Prince will be in town more and can make friends with people who are not animals haha.
Explore comic timing/situations with the Prince! The Prince doesnt’ know a lot about the human world-- like how to work technology-- so i want to put him in more situations where he is totally out of his element. The best way to do this will probably be with “The Great Prince Vs. Human-thing-here” starters. Be on the look out. (Or if u really want to have ur character help my poor deer son, message me).
Paul Pongo Patts
Okay he’s my newest babe so these r kinda repetitive from his app--
Start studying to maybe get into uni maybe ahhh my babe
Let himself go on dates: Paul kind of thinks that part of his life is over now that he has kids and he feels kind of guilty about that kind of stuff and so  I want him to go easy on himself. He deserves a night out and to feel like he is handsome, young and romantic bc darling u ARE handsome young and romantic.
That being said-- get wooed. Paul is a woo-er. Someone woo my woo-er.
Also mend things with Perdita/ rp them growing back together as friends and as two people who respect and care for each other and maybe-- just maybe-- lovers again.
DAD THINGS-- shopping for his kids, dealing with baby spit-up, babyproofing his apartment wow im like turned on by this lauryl calm ur eggs
Interact with Magicks: All KINDS of magicks please throw them at Paul
Consider illegal means of getting money… Paul has grown up around shady ppl and has since stayed clean of shady business himself. But that doesnt’ mean he doesn’t feel temptations. I’d like to exploooore those temptations.
My Character’s Personal Resolutions: 
Ber: “Don’t fuck up...anything.” 
Kiara: “lol” (tbh kiara is so lowkey depressed she liek?? has no resolutions help her) 
Hades: “Fix my mistakes.” 
Chester: pending
Milla: “Make Swynlake Great Again”
Milo: “Spend as much time as I can with Jane.”
Nala: “Get the Lyons Foundation off the ground / kick my physical therapy in the ass / be running by spring”
Rajah: “Repair things with my family. Live honestly-- be proud of who I am.” (ow raJJJ)
Kiki: “Make my family proud. Make Howl proud.” (ughh)
Anita: “Cause no more harm.” 
The Great Prince: “Be there for my son if he will have me.” 
Paul: “Be the greatest dad / provide for my kids.” 
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