#im judt like. im rly rly rly freaking out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nomaishuttle · 1 year

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freaking out again . kills myself

#my mom said she could cover half my ticket but she said that when the ticket was 400 and then i found one for like 200 but i dont have #enough to get that even not even half of it but i think shell still only pay half which is fair #but also she wont have money until the end of the month but im supposed to leave on the sixth #so i need to get the tickets like right now before the prices go up but i cant bc i Dont have the money #but i rly rly rly need to get this figured out #bc im not just visiting for fun. i also have to get my root canal finished #bc the fake tooths literally chipping off i neeeddd it finished and my old insurance is covering it so i need. i just need it #but i dont know how to bring it up again like. and i dont. ayfhfjrbffngkgngj #i need to get my license updated as well like badly so that i have an id for the uhm. flighg #i have a rpettyy good amt of time to do it but i cant drive myself soi rly rly rly need to vet that #UGHH. im just rly fucking scared #i cant sleep im like..worrying so bad but i cant do anyrhing right now #and my dad gave me a hundred bc my acct was in rhe negative bc of the fucking. late payment things which i dont even know how they happened #bc i had enough money for the things i ws buying but its. whatever idk #im just rly rly rly fucking worried again #im judt like. im rly rly rly freaking out #and the job is like. he said hedgetvack tome by the end of the week but today issaturday and i didnt hear anything #but even if i get it it pays on the 20th and 5th of everry month #so i wouldnt get enouguh money in time to get a ticket i dont think #even if i started working like. day after tmrw thatd be what. 3 days pay b4 the paycheck and idek when the pay epriod is ykwim #im just..rly rly rly scared basically #idk what to do at all and its. once this trip is over itll literally be fine i just need this trip to be over and finished and then i cn #figure out job #but i rly rly tly need the reply #bc i havent been likee. applying for new jobs jic i get this one Which was fuckin stupid #im just like.UGH!! im rly rly freaked out is all

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cringelordofchaos · 10 months

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I'm all for analyzing character parallels, especially w these two bc i believe there are things to be taken out (yes, I am delusional, yes, I will make a whole essay if needed) but this feels really oversimplifying

Edit (13/4/2024): I used the word delusional incorrectly. Being delusional is NOT about overanalyzing character parallels, it is so much more serious than that. I'll make sure not to use the word like that in the future

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penisliker-moved · 2 years

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finally lating down for bed but randomly im so scared i do Not feel safe rn whats going on

#The killer. is here somewhere...... throws up #I NEED RO SLEEP KVE STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE MY ALARM GOES LFF IN 2 HOURS GIRL. BUT IM SCARED #like not joking likenteehee scared im like freaking out . gets scared #fhat gets scared ws a teehee but im like..you get it #aghfuhghh. i hate thisss #my psychosis has been getting rly bad for no reason like. visual stuff used to be Rly rare for me but its happening like #pretty much every day now? especially at work #ill literally just be cleaning rooms and theyre all watching me . and theyre like judt outside of my.vision #but i Know theyre there and i see them sometimes. and its like ok.. making a bed rn #do u mind. its bad enough. i have to deal eith wrinkls #judt ufhhh. donot appreciate it at all. n then th auditory stuff is happening more than usual and im like wojghhhhh why me..#i need t tlime. try to sleep im just rlt scared andnik theres nothing here and im safe but like im not? at all #something rly rly rly bad is gonna happen as soon as i let my guard down i know it #whatevrvrr. whayevrr. at least i cn talk abt it usually i cant #lkke if i talk abt it it makes it worse. but rn it isnt getting orse its juet constant so thsts good i shppose #sry like..talking through it is helpful you see.#uhmmm..om. bedtkme naow #unreality #a2t #??? sry idk whats like needed. judt sort of sitting here

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doebt · 4 years

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O my goodness i am literally ALREADY in the bathroom crying my eyes out bc im off my meds and i feel crazy and everyone in this house is driving me up the proverbial wall..EVERYONE i speak to for any length of time drives me up the proverbial wall..i feel so freakimg horrible its unreal

#i CANT do this but its not like theres any alternative so im #judt have to keep continuing to live like this...i feel SO bad. i keep snapping at ppl #i rly. i hate it #im lucky that most of my social interactions are online bc i can like take a freaking moment to calm down before i snap at ppl #i just want to lock myself in my room log out of everything and watcj supernanny until i #get my zoft back...i CANT deal #and i feel so bad bc im never ever normally like this but its like my brain is falling apart and i cant make people understand #i just come across as an asshole nomatter what and i HATE.. it

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giranswife · 6 years

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Halp. Guys. It’s thundering outside and lightning keeps flashing through my window and bad weather like this freaks me out. I don’t like it, which means I won’t get to sleep anytime soon. And I’m hoping it stops by the morning alsksosksosmsosks

#violet ramblings #sosmosnssoskosmsssm i hate this sm #like i get freaked feal #easily during storms and blanes asleep so im freakin out a bit #gonna pit a show on loud and kist try to relax and sleep soon #i judt rly hope its not storming tomorrow.. tjays gonna really suck but im #keeping positive thoughts thay it will its just hilaruous that it hadnt stormed like this yet until the night before we leave irs just #totallt ironic and kidt about how id expect it to go #bc us having a perfect trip where nothing at all goes wrong #ppffftttttt wishful thinking

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ssoftdaniel · 7 years

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I’m fuckin 20 now WHAT

#not dnp #personal #it was my birthday the 22 #im like #what #oh my god but my love fell down my front stairs after a rly fun day #and I literally freaked the fuck out cause I thiught he was like #srsly hurt #hes fine hes just got a good cut on his finger #but jesus chrjst #a bit of trauma id always a good way to end a birthday #but I went to the goodwill outlet bc jm a loser #and then ihop #i judt had a lovely day

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nomaishuttle · 11 months

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well . day kind of ruined,

#a thinspo blog interacted with my prn blog and it was . rly triggering and now im freaking out . ughhh #i didnt realize what they were (ishouldve the url was like skinnyboy or something) so i judt clicked to verify age and the most recent post #was rly upsetting . auhg #ed ment #ed tw #a2t

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nomairuins · 18 days

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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it

#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going #into system shutdown or something. this sucks #this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get #terrified. so i dont #my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant #i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up #but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any #of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks #“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil #person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL #PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of #them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be #smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me #immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever #idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im #scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess #as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus #be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck #mdni #the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms

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nomairuins · 26 days

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im so tired

#weeman has just been so. much. lately. and i try not to get frustrated with him bc it feels awful when i do but i have to just Leave the #room constantly lately bc he just doesnt stop #i want to be in the main house my room is fucking boiling all the time but i cannot be out there with him #he just has been so. moody lately and so like. whiny and he does this fake baby voice that irritates me sm and i hate how stressed it makes #me bc hes judt a kid but like. whenever he plays mc or wants to play mc its awful bc if i say no he Cries and screams and its a whole thing #and if he does play mc the second anything goes slightly wrong he cries and screams the entire time jm trying to fix it and he freaks out #abt fuckkng everything and it just makes me wish i had never let him play mc. which feels awful bc ik its fun for him and im glad hes so #reative with it and when hes in a good mood its fun 2 see him play it and im like. but hes so entitled sometimes and again i feel awful #saying that bc hes 6 but its like. i dont know. its stressful. i dont think i can ever be a parent ik i rly rly rly rly rly want kids and ik #like. hes like this bc my parents are not good parents its not his fault hes so tumultuous he doesnt have like. healthy emotional role #models. yk. i genuinely dont want to be mad at him for it but its exhausting to deal with him sometimes. i try rly hard not to snap at him #bc i dont want to be like my parents but like. I cant just leave the room all the time bc itll be him demanding i fix mc for him so if i #leave hell be more mad #so i have to stay while im fixing it but hes screaming and crying and demanding and insulting me andnlike. ik hes 6 and i just need to deal #with it but im exhausted. i love him so much hes such a sweet kid the majority of rhe time andni want to keep him safe and protect him #but i cant parent him. i cant Be his parent i judt wish he had better parents. i dont know. i try to be a good role model and stuff but i #like. idk. i dont think im meant to have kids if i cant even handle him

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nomairuins · 30 days

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i always feel a bit silly whenever i do censor/warn for stuff before i talk abt it bc i often Forget to bc i tend 2 post abt it when im much less ummm. rational. yk. i usualyl write posts abt it when im very freaked out and emotional. so then writing warnings and stuff when im Less in it makes me feel kind of rly guilty for Not tagging the other stuff but also i like. try 2 be pretty clear upfront that i talk abt that stuff sometimes so i dont know ... i rly hope my like. freaked out posting doesnt upset anybody or freak anybody out this is judt kind of the only place i can talk abt Literally any of it even tho i cant even talk abt all of it here . but wah. apologies basically

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